Speaker 1: Calaroga Shark Media. Welcome to the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft.
I am your host, Johnny Mack. Now what we're doing
today is we are drafting comedians the way say football
teams draft players. We're building rosters, making strategic decisions, and yes,
overreacting to every single pick in the Facebook group Delly
Comedy News podcast group. Here's how this is going to go.
We have five teams. Each team will draft five comedians
to build out their roster. Your roster needs to include
one headliner, two feature acts, one wildcard, and one legacy pick.
This is a snake draft, so we'll go one through
five and then five through one, et cetera, et cetera.
Now you might be cynical and say, Johnny Mack, did
you have a routine colonoscopy scheduled for this week and
you needed a bit to retape a show? Perhaps, But
it's also the NFL Draft today, so I thought this
would be fun. This is something we used to do
with serious million years ago. We used to have actual
comedians come in in draft teams. Some years it worked great.
Some years the comedians were just annoying and wouldn't go
with the bit comedians can be annoying. So what I've
done here is I have asked the AI to take
on several personas. I am not steering this. This is
all AI, and I'll explain to you who the teams
are and who the mindsets are. And I have not
read this ahead. I'm generating this as we go. So
welcome to the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft. Let's meet
the teams. Team Analytics. They're all about the numbers, ticket sales,
streaming views, social media reach. They're not here to be cool.
They're here to win. If you could sell out an arena,
they're interested in you. If you can't, you're.
Speaker 2: Not on their board.
Speaker 1: Next up, Team Purist all about stand up comedy as
an art form, craft, respect, legacy. Team Purist values what
happens on stage. If you built your career on TikTok,
they don't care. Next up, Team Chaos. They want headlines, controversy,
viral moments, big personalities. They are not building the best
comedy lineup, they're building the most talked about comedy lineup.
Speaker 2: Then there's Team Industry.
Speaker 1: Think of this about the suits, the agents, those guys,
versatility matters, stand up acting, writing, podcasting.
Speaker 2: It's all about your portfolio.
Speaker 1: Team Industry is thinking about long term value, not just
tonight's show. And then finally, we have a team alternative
the indie room, the old comedy scene. Bai has gannarrated
the draft order. With the first pick, Team Analytics will
be on the clock. And with that, let us begin
the twenty twenty six comedy Draft.
Speaker 2: With the first pick.
Speaker 1: In the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft, Team Analytics picks
Kevin Hart's Kevin Hart goes number one overall.
Speaker 2: Now think about it.
Speaker 1: This is Team Analytics, Global star, Massive Box Office sells
out arenas roast of Kevin Hart movies, TV shows, Netflix
Show Safe pick Yeah, effective pick. Yes, Kevin Hart goes
number one overall in the twenty twenty six comedy Draft.
Speaker 2: What do you think?
Speaker 1: Facebook Group, Daily Comedy News podcast group. All right, it
is time for the second pick, Team Purist. You're now
on the clock. With the number two pick in the
comedy Draft, Team Purist takes Dave Chappelle. There it is
statement pick, legacy, influence, undeniable on stage. Purist is not
messing around. Good solid pick there. I thought Dave Chappelle
would go number one. But you can't argue with Kevin Hart.
Dave Chappelle goes number two. Team Chaos. You are now
on the clock with the third pick in the twenty
twenty six Comedy Draft. Team Chaos picks Shane Gillis. Oh,
that's a strong pick, huge fan base, little edge, a
little controversy. Team Chaos playing for the Internet and I
got one of the biggest draws out there.
Speaker 2: Good solid pick.
Speaker 1: Shane gillis number three overall in the twenty twenty six
Comedy Draft. Onto the fourth pick it is. Team Industry
is now on the clock with the fourth pick overall.
Team Industry picks Alli Wong.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: Wow, interesting pick there, But they are Team Industry. Ali
Wang does stand up acts rights. Let's see what Team
Industry is up to. A lot of I don't know
about that pick. I mean, there's so many other comedians
on the board. And Allie Wang going with the four overall.
What do you think? Facebook group, Dally Comedy news podcast group.
And that puts Team Alternative on the clock and with
the number five pick overall in the twenty twenty six
Comedy Draft, Team Alternative picks Nicki Glazer.
Speaker 2: Wow, interesting choice.
Speaker 1: I don't really think of her as Alt, but the
Team Alternative is telling me she kills it ROAs is fearless,
she could play mainstream rooms, n be edgy and it's
a smart bridge Team Alternative. Wow, I have some other
names that I thought they would have gone with there,
but okay, So to recap your top five picks in
the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft, Kevin Hart, Dave Chappelle,
Sheen Gillis, Alli Wang, and Nicky Glazer right onto round two.
Speaker 2: This is a snake draft, so we'll go in reverse order.
Speaker 1: With the sixth pick in the comedy Draft, Team Alternative
picks Chris Fleming. Yeah, that tracks unique voice alt scene favorite.
And now you've got a show with Nicky Glazer and
Chris Fleming on it. That's a pretty weird, interesting show
that you probably want to see. That puts Team Industry
back on the clock. With the number seven pick, Team
Industry picks John Mullaney, absolutely a steal at number seven.
Their line up so far, Ali Wang and John Mullaney. Surprise,
Mullaney didn't go in the first round, right, but Mlanie's
still sitting there at the seven.
Speaker 2: Good pick there. That puts Team Chaos on the clock.
Speaker 1: Here in round two, and with the eighth pick overall,
Team Chaos picks.
Speaker 2: Andrew Schultz. SNeW again.
Speaker 1: We're making lineups here Team Chaos with Shane Gillis and
Andrew Schultz. That's a hell of a one to two
podcast clips, controversy all together all right. With the number
nine big overall, Team Purist is on the clock. They
take Bill Burr. Oh no, the Bill Burr haters are
still mad that Bill Burr played the Riod Comedy Festival.
But Bill Burr joins Team Purist with Dave Chappelle. That's
a killer lineup. No gimmicks, no fluff, just stand up.
I mean, whatever you think about Riod, Chappelle and Burr.
That's quite a team. And the final pick of the
second round it's Team Analytics. Can they select Jim Gaffigan. Yeah,
you can't argue with that, another guy who could have
gone in the first round. Clean, massive audience. They'll sell
you some bourbon and you've got a lineup of Kevin
Hart and Jim Gaffigan. A little artistically wonky, but boy,
that is a very very sellable lineup. We'll take the
break there and we'll come back and we'll look at
round three of the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft. All right,
as we head in a round three, let's just reset
where we are, what we're building. Each team is drafting
five comedians, one headliner, two feature acts, one wild card,
and a legacy pick.
Speaker 2: We are almost halfway through.
Speaker 1: The Team Analytics has Kevin Hart and Jim Gaffigan, Team
Purist has Dave Chappelle and Built Burg, Team Chaos has
Shane Gillison Andrew Schultz, Team Industry Ali Wong and John mulaney,
and Team Alternative at Nicky Glazer and Chris Fleming. On
to round three. It is the eleventh overall pick, the
first pick of the third round, and Team Analytics picks
Matt Rife.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: The Analytics crowd looking at it, and they're dipping into
a younger viral audience. Matt Rife brings a huge social following.
What do you think of that, Kevin Hart, Jim Gavigan,
Matt Rife. That's gonna set a lot of tickets. On
to the twelfth pick overall. Here in the third round,
it's Team Purist, and Team Purist is on the clock
and they pick.
Speaker 2: Mark Marin.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that fits stand up credibility, long career, not flashy,
very on brand. For Team Purist, Mark Maren joins, Dave
Chappelle and Bill Burr. Next up, Team Chaos on the
Clock and they select theo Vaughn. Yeah, that makes sense,
Andrew Sheltsching gill Us, Theovaughn chaotic think of the social
media love that pick, all right? The fourteen overall it
is Team Industry. Team Industries. Just a bunch of suits.
They don't care, They just want to make bucks. And
they are picking Trevor Noah, Global appeal, hosting, ability, mainstream recognition,
Team Industry thinking about more than just stand up. Good
solid pick. And the final pick of the third round,
it's Team Alternative and they.
Speaker 2: Pick Robbie Hoffman.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Robbie, that absolutely makes sense for a Team Alternative,
unique boys, strong point of view. Still a little weird
that they've got Nicki Glazer on top of their team,
But Nicki Glazer, Chris Fleming, Robbie Hoffin a solid team.
That is the end of the third round. On to
Round four. Most teams now have their core. We'll see
if it gets a little more interesting here. We'll see
what the wild cards who they come out with. Team
Alternative on the clock in our Snake Draft, and with
the sixteenth pick Indie Comedy Draft, Team Alternative picks Maria
bamf for all time, all choice Original, deeply respected and
this is a lineup that other comedians are going to respect.
Speaker 2: Very interesting.
Speaker 1: Team Alternative is Nicki Glazer, Chris Fleming, Robbie Hoffman, and
now Marie A.
Speaker 2: Bamford.
Speaker 1: And that brings us to the seventeenth pick. Team Industry.
They are a bunch of suits and they're gonna go
with Hassan Minhaj. Yeah, that makes sense. It fits their
whole thing, stand up storytelling, a little edge TV presence.
Hassan Minhaj joins Ali Wong, John Maliny, and Trevor Noah.
Speaker 2: Now with the eighteenth.
Speaker 1: Pick overall, here in the fourth round, it's Team Chaos
on the clock and they select Berg Kraser. Of course
they do take your shirt off, everybody. Bg Kraser joins
Shane Gillis Andrew Schultz at THEO Vaughn. That's kind of
a thing, right, Yeah, that makes sense, right, Team Purist
and now on the clock and with the nineteenth pick overall,
they take Wanda psychsw That's.
Speaker 2: A I don't know what to say about that pick.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure I like that pick by Team Purist,
Chappelle Burn, Aaron Wanda Psych Not sure that totally goes
sir right, but let me know what to think Facebook
or Daily Comedy News podcast group.
Speaker 2: And with the final pick of the fourth.
Speaker 1: Round, it's Team Analytics and they select Gabriel Iglecias. Of
course they do massive fan base, global draw, ticket sales,
analytics doing what analytics does.
Speaker 2: Kevin Heart, Jim.
Speaker 1: Gaffick and Matt Rife, Gabriel Iglesias, the analytics people are
going to make bank. And with that we are up
to the final round of the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft.
Here in this round, you were taking a legacy a comedian.
Team Analytics on the clock. They have crunched the numbers
and they select with the twenty first pick overall in
the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft, Jerry Seinfeld, the safest pick, imaginable,
name recognition, history, global appeal. You can't are argue with that.
And I think that Jerry Seinfeld still sitting there at
number twenty one, and that brings us to the twenty
second overall pick. Here in the fifth round, it's Team
purist to their final pick is Chris Rock. Yeah, I mean,
how is Chris Brock still sitting there in the draft? Right,
one of the most important voices in Stand Up, Great Lineup. Okay,
Team Chaos, it is your pick. With the twenty third
pick overall in the twenty twenty six in comedy Draft.
Team Chaos picks Ricky Gervai. Wow, all right, they just
threw gasoline on the fire.
Speaker 2: Love it.
Speaker 1: That's a fun show when we get to the end
of the round, or remind you of who all the
teams are. But we'll move on to the twenty fourth
pick in the twenty twenty six comedy Draft. It's Team
Industry there on the clock and they go with wait
is this right? Yeah, I'm told this is right. Okay,
they have drafted a famous dramatic actor, Adam Sandler.
Speaker 2: I'm not really sure what they're doing that.
Speaker 1: He's not really a funny person, but okay, that's you know,
Team Industry. I guess they figure they can get a
Netflix deal out of it.
Speaker 2: Okay, makes sense.
Speaker 1: And then it is the final overall pick in the
twenty twenty six comedy Draft. Team Alts on the clock
and they select Comedy Survivor winners. Sarah Silverman. Sarah Silverman
a great closer, alt roots, mainstream crossover, still active, still evolving,
Perfect for that roster. Sarah Silverman the final pick in
the twenty twenty six comedy Draft. So what do you think?
Facebook Group, Daily Comedy News podcast Group. Let's take a
look at the teams again. It is Team Analytics. Kevin Hart,
Jim Gaffigan, Matt Rife, gab Iglesias, and Jerry Seinfeld. That's
gonna sell a ton of tickets. The only knock Maybe
it's a little safe, not much edge there, but if
you want to sell tickets, that team's gonna win. A
team purist for the comedy snobs. Dave Chappelle, Bill Burr,
Mark Marin, Wanda Sykes, and Chris Rock all command respect
in the comedy industry. The downside, they're all very different stylistically.
That shows a little all over the place onto Team Chaos.
This team is insane, sing Gillisanders Schultz, the ovon Berg, Kreischer,
Ricky Gervais. You want clips, you want headlines, you want controversy.
The Internet's gonna love this team. If your goal's attention,
this team might dominate the entire Comedy League here, Team Industry.
Now again the suits that they don't care, They just
want to make money off people. And it's Ali Wong,
John Mulaney, Trevor Noah, Hasan Minhaj and Adam Sandler. This
team can do everything stand up, acting, hosting, writing, No
weakness there. Every pick makes sense. It's a brand, it's
a network, it's a platform. It's a smart team. Not
sure how exciting it is, but you know that's how
the industry guys go. And if that's not cool for you,
then root for Team Alternative. Nicky Glazer, Chris Robbie Hoffman,
Maria Bamford, and Sarah Silverman. Smart, weird, sharp, unpredictable. How
do you think they did? Go over to the Facebook
group Daily Comedy News Podcast Group. I will post the
teams there so you can comment. And that is a
wrap on the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft and hopefully
on my colin Oscarbae see tomorrow