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<v Speaker 1>Hi, I'm Davy Ward Ericson and I'm Alena Selks, and you.

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<v Speaker 2>Are listening to sex is Medicine, your number one resource

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<v Speaker 2>for holistic sex education. Elena and I are bringing you

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<v Speaker 2>over twenty seven years of combined expertise in the field

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<v Speaker 2>of holistic sexual wellness to help you integrate your body, mind, spirit,

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<v Speaker 2>and sex.

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<v Speaker 1>New episodes drop every Thursday morning, so make sure to

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<v Speaker 1>like and subscribe on all your favorite listening platforms, and

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<v Speaker 1>make sure you follow Holistic Sexology Institute on Instagram, TikTok,

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<v Speaker 1>and YouTube for your daily dose on sex is Medicine.

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<v Speaker 1>Now let's get started.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello, and welcome back to Sex is Medicine. I am

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<v Speaker 2>your host, Davie word Ericson.

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<v Speaker 1>And I am Elena Selks, and we.

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<v Speaker 2>Are so delighted to be back with you this week.

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<v Speaker 2>We hope that you have been loving these episodes. We've

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<v Speaker 2>been getting lots of comments, lots of lots of good news,

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<v Speaker 2>lots of good words, and we are once again just

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<v Speaker 2>so honored, so delighted, so grateful to be back. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>it was wild. Elena and I were talking like last

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<v Speaker 2>week as we were organizing stuff for the launch, and

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<v Speaker 2>I was looking on my computer and I was searching

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<v Speaker 2>Sex's Medicine in my desktop, and they came up with

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<v Speaker 2>this whole map, this whole path of us relaunching Sex's

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<v Speaker 2>Medicine in September of twenty twenty three. So Aleida, you

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<v Speaker 2>and not we had already planned to do this. We had,

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<v Speaker 2>like we had recording dates scheduled for March of twenty

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<v Speaker 2>twenty three, like you flew to Canada and we like

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<v Speaker 2>recorded a bunch of content and we were gonna like

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<v Speaker 2>re record Sex's Medicine episodes and relaunch Sex's Medicine September

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<v Speaker 2>of twenty twenty three. But then my house burned down,

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<v Speaker 2>and here we are today, so we just had to

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<v Speaker 2>like put press pause on it for two years.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and I can't believe that your house burning, like

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<v Speaker 1>not only did we stop, but it obliterated it from

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<v Speaker 1>our memory. Like neither you or I even remembered that

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<v Speaker 1>we were going to do this back then as well.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean I completely forgot. We launched a whole other podcast,

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<v Speaker 2>Contra Talks, you know, and our and our social media

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<v Speaker 2>person was like, why the fuck are we launching a

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<v Speaker 2>whole new podcast that was for Lamaitashi though we had

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<v Speaker 2>to do. We had to do a podcast just with Lamatashi.

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<v Speaker 2>We had to do that. So so that's Contra Talks

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<v Speaker 2>or TNTRA Talks are Lamatashi influenced Contra TACs. But you

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<v Speaker 2>can still hear on Spotify, so make sure you like

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<v Speaker 2>and subscribe. All right, So today we are going to

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<v Speaker 2>be answering one of your questions. This is so, this

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<v Speaker 2>is why your questions are so important. We are doing

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<v Speaker 2>an entire episode to answer one question that one of

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<v Speaker 2>y'all sent to us on Instagram or Instagram account. We're

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<v Speaker 2>still at Authentic TNTRA. We hope that changes, but you

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<v Speaker 2>can all search us. It's the tune the holistic sexology

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<v Speaker 2>on Instagram everywhere else let us change our names. But

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<v Speaker 2>Instagram's like no, you have to be authentic tantru forever,

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<v Speaker 2>and we're like no, please, let us go anyway. On Instagram,

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<v Speaker 2>someone sent us a question asking about can you practice tontra?

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<v Speaker 2>Can to women practice TNTRA? Can you practice TNTRA is

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<v Speaker 2>the same sex couple And we are here to say absolutely,

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<v Speaker 2>of course, of course, of course, of course, but we

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<v Speaker 2>want to make some very specific distinctions in regards to

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<v Speaker 2>what we're referring to is tntra and how that relates

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<v Speaker 2>to tontra for the same sex couples. Excuse my chihuahua,

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<v Speaker 2>who is a monster who you can probably hear barking

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<v Speaker 2>in the background, attacking random people in the background. That's

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<v Speaker 2>my CHUAA okay, So but before we dive into that,

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<v Speaker 2>Elena is is going to We're gonna she's gonna lead

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<v Speaker 2>our hot topic portion for today. So okay, Elena, you're on.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, thank you, Davey. So we picked a hot topic

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<v Speaker 1>portion that we thought would be really really tie into

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<v Speaker 1>our topic of the day. We've came across this influencer online.

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<v Speaker 1>He's a really prominent sex education influencer who really leans

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<v Speaker 1>in the neo tantra realm, and he was asked this question,

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<v Speaker 1>is it the man's fault if there is a sexless relationship?

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<v Speaker 1>So we're gonna just play that clip for you.

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<v Speaker 3>First couple is in sexless relationship? Whose fault is it

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<v Speaker 3>to the man's Why? Because he has not created enough polarity,

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<v Speaker 3>is not created enough, dominance, is not created enough surrender,

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<v Speaker 3>He is not created enough trust. He's not put in

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<v Speaker 3>enough effort to make sure that his woman can unferral

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<v Speaker 3>and surrender to his masculine pull. The reality is a

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<v Speaker 3>lot of times when you're a long term relationship, things

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<v Speaker 3>get stale, couples get complacent, men stuff working as hard.

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<v Speaker 3>And if a woman's withholding from you, guys, it's not

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<v Speaker 3>her fault. It's your responsibility to actually change your energetic

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<v Speaker 3>frequency with time, effort, and patience so that she will

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<v Speaker 3>then open up to you. Yes, it takes effort, Yes,

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<v Speaker 3>it requires discipline. Yes, yet she may not open up

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<v Speaker 3>at first, and you need to recognize that that's just

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<v Speaker 3>a reality of life.

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<v Speaker 1>A long So I want to just pause there. It

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<v Speaker 1>does go on for a little bit longer. He talks

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<v Speaker 1>a little bit about with some good things about paying

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<v Speaker 1>attention to women's sexual response and how it's a responsive desire.

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<v Speaker 1>But I want to just pause us there because it's

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<v Speaker 1>a long clip to get our first opinions. Davey, do

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<v Speaker 1>you want to start us off?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, okay, So, like you said, there's some there, there

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<v Speaker 2>is some truth to what he's saying, like trust is

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<v Speaker 2>really important and and uh, and then for we we

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<v Speaker 2>who identify this is for cis gender women typically, that's

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<v Speaker 2>who his audience he's talking to. Cis gender men and

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<v Speaker 2>sis gender women and the heterosexual relationship dynamic, that's what

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<v Speaker 2>we're talking about. So in that type of relationship dynamic,

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<v Speaker 2>UH traditionally, yes, it's important for UH me as a

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<v Speaker 2>woman to feel supported and to have my needs for

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<v Speaker 2>trust and you know, and honoring and all that met.

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<v Speaker 2>The issue for me is that that, like this conversation about,

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<v Speaker 2>you have to be more rooted in your masculine for

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<v Speaker 2>her to want to be to magnetize, to be magnetized. Look,

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<v Speaker 2>I will be magnetized to you when you do the

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<v Speaker 2>dishes without me having to fucking ask you to do

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<v Speaker 2>the dishes. I will be If you want me to

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<v Speaker 2>like feel more supported and to what open and blossom

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<v Speaker 2>to you, then then stop leaving piles of your shit

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<v Speaker 2>all over the house and making me be your mother

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<v Speaker 2>to ask you to pick them up. So, like, one

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<v Speaker 2>of the biggest things that makes my yoni dry up

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<v Speaker 2>like a fucking raisin. I'm gonna cuss for this, like seriously,

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<v Speaker 2>is when I have to be your mommy. When I

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<v Speaker 2>have to be your mommy. And I don't know if

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<v Speaker 2>this is specific to like gen X men specifically, And

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<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna also say gen x white men, because you

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<v Speaker 2>know I'm by racial, so you are always gonna get

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<v Speaker 2>racial dynamics in this conversation because I have to fucking

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<v Speaker 2>live them. So if I have to live them, then

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<v Speaker 2>you get to hear about them. Right. So I will

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<v Speaker 2>say that growing up when my my black boyfriends, like

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<v Speaker 2>black mamas will keep their house in shape, and my

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<v Speaker 2>black boyfriends did not need to be told that they

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<v Speaker 2>needed to do the dishes, vacuum the carpet, da da

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<v Speaker 2>da dah. Like I would come over to their houses

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<v Speaker 2>and it would be absolutely spotless, impeccable, and my boyfriends

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<v Speaker 2>would be like, well, I'll call you back after I've

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<v Speaker 2>vacuumed and done the dishes and whatever. So I have

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<v Speaker 2>never had an issue when I have been with black men.

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<v Speaker 2>I have never had an issue with them leaving piles

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<v Speaker 2>of their shit around the house. It has never been

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<v Speaker 2>an issue. So I'm not saying the black man can't

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<v Speaker 2>be message to I'm just telling you my dating experience, right.

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<v Speaker 2>But with white gen x men, I am forever following

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<v Speaker 2>you around asking you to like being your mommy. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>So the number one thing, it's not about you being

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<v Speaker 2>more masculine or maybe it is. It's about you being

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<v Speaker 2>a fifty year old man and not a fourteen year

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<v Speaker 2>old boy. So let's start there. So, if your version

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<v Speaker 2>of masculinity does not include vacuuming, doing the fucking laundry

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<v Speaker 2>without me asking you to do the laundry, folding the

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<v Speaker 2>laundry after I've done it, like cleaning the toilet bowl,

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<v Speaker 2>like basic shit without me having to ask you to

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<v Speaker 2>do it, book the house cleaner if you don't want

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<v Speaker 2>to do it, Book the house cleaner. That like basic

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<v Speaker 2>daily domestic stuff really really really meets needs for support.

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<v Speaker 2>And this isn't just me. This is like there's articles

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<v Speaker 2>there's about this, about like what is it called weaponized incompetence.

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<v Speaker 2>There's articles about Sabrina Carpenter just released a whole ass

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<v Speaker 2>album about Manchild, and like, can you just clean up

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<v Speaker 2>your fucking shit so your your boomer mamas did not

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<v Speaker 2>do justice. They have fucked us all up, just say

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<v Speaker 2>it's a boomer mom thing. I watched this up close

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<v Speaker 2>and personal because I'm married to a white man with

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<v Speaker 2>a boomer mom, so I get to see how this

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<v Speaker 2>ship plays out, you know, and it's definitely your conditioning.

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<v Speaker 2>So so if you really want her vagina to be

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<v Speaker 2>an overflowing like like nectar waterfall kind of thing. Clean

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<v Speaker 2>up your ship. That's that's what you That is how

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<v Speaker 2>you need to get your pole erect. That that is

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<v Speaker 2>the poll that you need to like anger into is

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<v Speaker 2>clean up your shit. When about me having to ask,

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<v Speaker 2>all right, that's my rant? Sorry y'all. Sorry, I'll just

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<v Speaker 2>bleep it out if you have to.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, those are really good insights, Davie, especially because a right,

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<v Speaker 1>I hear you saying that it doesn't meet your needs

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<v Speaker 1>for respect, right and help support those things right, so

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<v Speaker 1>that fosters an environment where you might have feelings of

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<v Speaker 1>anger or resentment towards your partner, and those are not

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<v Speaker 1>good for connection and intimacy. But in addition to that,

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<v Speaker 1>there's also this labor component, both both your actual labor

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<v Speaker 1>and your invisible labor, which is going to increase stress

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<v Speaker 1>for the person who's doing all of that. And we

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<v Speaker 1>know physiologically that stress is a lebido killer and a

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<v Speaker 1>pleasure killer for most people. So that's another huge component

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<v Speaker 1>of it. It's not just about you know, how you're

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<v Speaker 1>feeling in your brain about the other person, It's also

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<v Speaker 1>about whether your body is able to relax into a response,

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<v Speaker 1>which she does talk a little bit about that with

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<v Speaker 1>responsive behavior, but he doesn't talk about the stress. Right now,

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<v Speaker 1>we're talking about the stress component of that.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, So what the thing is is he's focusing on like,

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<v Speaker 2>you have to be more rooted in your masculine and

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<v Speaker 2>what these like these these archaic I'm gonna say, archaic

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<v Speaker 2>concepts of what masculine is. So like, yeah, like boomer

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<v Speaker 2>moms made sure they're boys, their gen X boys were

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<v Speaker 2>rooted in masculinity, which causes them to not lift a

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<v Speaker 2>fucking finger, you know, to help to help their female

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<v Speaker 2>partners around the house. Now, I am gonna say, doctor,

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<v Speaker 2>doctor Erickson and I have worked through this in counseling

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<v Speaker 2>for many years, so we are no longer in this place.

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<v Speaker 2>So the heat that you are feeling for me is

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<v Speaker 2>not present time. Shit, we have worked through this in counseling.

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<v Speaker 2>But I'm just saying his mama could have saved us

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of money in counseling. I'm just sad. But

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<v Speaker 2>this concept of like rooting into your masculine poll when

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<v Speaker 2>when you hear that, guys and ladies, when you hear like, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>I want him to be rooted in his masculine pole.

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<v Speaker 2>Are you thinking about him vacuuming the house? No, no, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>because that's woman's work. So what I'm saying to you

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<v Speaker 2>is your concepts when we're talking about these kind of

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<v Speaker 2>like gross concepts of polarity, you know, these concepts of

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<v Speaker 2>polarity which are based on these like traditional gender roles.

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<v Speaker 2>When we're thinking about that, like the actual the actual

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<v Speaker 2>thing that you needed to be you need to be

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<v Speaker 2>rooted in is equity. Is equity, is shared shared relationship,

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<v Speaker 2>dynamic shared mutuality. Because I'll tell you, like it turns

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<v Speaker 2>me on when my husband when he does the dishes

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<v Speaker 2>and cleans up the kitchen and remembers to put the

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<v Speaker 2>dog food away, I'm like, and I when he makes

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<v Speaker 2>me coffee in the morning, Oh my god, that gets

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<v Speaker 2>me so wet. Like these acts of service, these acts

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<v Speaker 2>of service really meet my needs for support. And when

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<v Speaker 2>I feel supported as a badass, powerful tongue, which the

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<v Speaker 2>chini in the world. When I feel supported, that that

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<v Speaker 2>is what gives me the space to melt. That's what

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<v Speaker 2>gives me the space to surrender. Is when when I

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<v Speaker 2>got you, well I know you got me because of

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<v Speaker 2>what you did I don't care what you say. I

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<v Speaker 2>care what you do, and I want to see what

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<v Speaker 2>you do to support me. I don't want to have

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<v Speaker 2>to guess. I want to walk out and be like,

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<v Speaker 2>oh damn, he arranged all the pillows. What a beautiful

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<v Speaker 2>Tontra temple. I didn't have to do it myself. Anything,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't have to do myself. I'm gonna feel supported

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<v Speaker 2>when you do it, so I don't have to do it.

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<v Speaker 2>When I don't have to think about it, woo, that

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<v Speaker 2>meets my needs for support. And when my needs for

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<v Speaker 2>support are met, all of the stress starts to decompress.

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<v Speaker 2>And when the stress decompresses, my libido arises. And I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>we're off to the race as my friends. So there

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<v Speaker 2>we go, beautiful.

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<v Speaker 1>I have a couple more thoughts about it, Okay, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>So I think the thing that I initially found most

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<v Speaker 1>disturbing about this video was that he's really distilling relationships

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<v Speaker 1>down shysteriatypes, right, And that's something that I find disturbing

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<v Speaker 1>about the polarity conversation. Just like you said a minute ago,

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<v Speaker 1>it distills the person down to specific set gender norms

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<v Speaker 1>that are created, you know, within the context of our

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<v Speaker 1>dysfunctional system, right, our white patriarchal, classist system, like our roles,

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<v Speaker 1>our gender roles fit within that. So, I mean, it's

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<v Speaker 1>entirely possible that there are people who have done lots

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<v Speaker 1>of self examining and they really want to fit into

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<v Speaker 1>these traditional, you know, masculine, feminine stereotypes for their relationship. Cool,

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<v Speaker 1>have at it, Great for you, but I don't think

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<v Speaker 1>that's the majority of people, right. There's a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>people who have all kinds of different dynamics within their relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>And one of the first thing that came to my

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<v Speaker 1>mind for me was he said, oh gosh, she said

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<v Speaker 1>a number of things, but one of the words that's

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<v Speaker 1>jumped out at me was this concept of dominance. Which, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of cis women do want to be dominated.

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<v Speaker 1>That's a common fantasy, a common kink for many women.

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<v Speaker 1>But there's a lot a lot of women who want

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<v Speaker 1>to dominate, and there's a lot of men who want

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<v Speaker 1>a dominant woman as well as as their preferred way

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<v Speaker 1>of engaging with power in their relationships. So it's not

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<v Speaker 1>that simple as just like you're not being masculine enough

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<v Speaker 1>in order to let her open. Right, in most cases, Additionally.

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<v Speaker 2>What masculinity is, I'm interrupting you masculine and the concept

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<v Speaker 2>of what masculinity is, that's the thing. Are you being

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<v Speaker 2>masculin depends on what your version of masculinity is. Like

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<v Speaker 2>my version of masculinity could be playing the piano and

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<v Speaker 2>you know, fucking writing poetry, like maybe that's what I

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<v Speaker 2>think a real man is quote unquote. So it's it

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<v Speaker 2>all goes into like a very specific demographs graphics idea

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<v Speaker 2>of what is masculine, maga, masculine, shall we.

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<v Speaker 1>Say, yeah, yeah, exactly, And those many of those stereotypes

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<v Speaker 1>for many people are are violent, right, They don't support

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<v Speaker 1>their true connection, their ability to really be fully present,

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<v Speaker 1>especially for men to be fully present in their emotions

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<v Speaker 1>and be fully present in their emotions with their with

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<v Speaker 1>their partner as well, which is another factor in being

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<v Speaker 1>able to connect in order to have a great sex life.

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<v Speaker 2>Right.

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<v Speaker 1>So yeah, and then like on the feminine side, there's

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<v Speaker 1>this societal standard for us in that stereotype that women

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<v Speaker 1>can't know about their sexuality.

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<v Speaker 3>Right.

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<v Speaker 1>You talk about this in your book Shake Your Soul Song,

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<v Speaker 1>This Walt Disney syndrome where you know, good girls don't

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<v Speaker 1>know about their sex and don't know how to how

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<v Speaker 1>to please themselves or enjoy sex in the bedroom. It's

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<v Speaker 1>all up to the man, whereas women who do they're

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<v Speaker 1>just sluts and whoors and you know, so we can't

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<v Speaker 1>we can't fuck with them. So it plays into that,

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<v Speaker 1>which is violent for both parties. Right, Do you have

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<v Speaker 1>anything else to say about that?

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<v Speaker 2>Nope, nope, nope, right off.

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<v Speaker 1>Tell the other thing that really jumped out at me

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<v Speaker 1>is Jesus Christ. Both people in a room relationship are

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<v Speaker 1>responsible for the relationship. It's toxic to assign one person

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<v Speaker 1>or another person, you know, specific aspects of a relationship. Again,

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<v Speaker 1>there can be agreemance within a relationship, right, so like

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<v Speaker 1>one person might agree to be more responsible in this

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<v Speaker 1>way or that way, but it's not appropriate to just

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<v Speaker 1>assign people their responsibilities based off of their sex or

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<v Speaker 1>gender as well, and even if you do, it's still

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<v Speaker 1>both people's responsibility to care and tender for their relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>And your sexuality in a sexual relationship is a primary

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<v Speaker 1>factor in the reason you're in a relationship with that person,

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<v Speaker 1>so both of you need to be engaged in that

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<v Speaker 1>and having conversations with that. And it also links into

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<v Speaker 1>how few people in this country have learned how to

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<v Speaker 1>communicate about their sexuality and communicate with their partner about

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<v Speaker 1>their sexuality and about what's going on for them and

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<v Speaker 1>to troubleshoot.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, and I and I would say I would

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<v Speaker 2>add to that everything you said one point on, on

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<v Speaker 2>point point on and on point, And I would also

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<v Speaker 2>say what rises for me is like like, rather than

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<v Speaker 2>looking at the polarity of your relationship, look at the

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<v Speaker 2>health of your relationship. Is your relationship healthy and functional?

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<v Speaker 2>Cause you know, I was telling Elena before we before

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<v Speaker 2>we started recording, the people that I've come encountered in

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<v Speaker 2>the field over seventeen years who are the most focused

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<v Speaker 2>on these polarity dynamics are also the most propensity for

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<v Speaker 2>gas lighting and predatory behavior. I'm just gonna say, and

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<v Speaker 2>the and the schools for TNTRA schools that I've encountered,

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<v Speaker 2>or TANTRA teachers that I've encountered that are really into this,

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<v Speaker 2>you know polarity thing. A polarity has nothing to do

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<v Speaker 2>with actual Tentra lineage based entre. I mean, go google

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<v Speaker 2>polarity and like, real Tentra doesn't fucking exist. It's a

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<v Speaker 2>totally a neotontra concept. And as we've said, neo TNTRA

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<v Speaker 2>is a result of colin isa and violence, and so

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<v Speaker 2>it carries that, it carries the violence of colonization within it.

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<v Speaker 2>And so again when it comes to polarity, there's no

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<v Speaker 2>there's no real authentic tunture teachings on fucking polarity, and

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<v Speaker 2>the neo TNTRA teachers on polarity. Honestly, what I've seen

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<v Speaker 2>is there's a propensity as I've said, for gas lighting,

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<v Speaker 2>psychological abuse, and predatory behavior, or there's complaints against the

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<v Speaker 2>teachers or the schools for predatory behavior. So I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, actual TNTRA focuses on union and balance. That's

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<v Speaker 2>what it focuses on. It focuses on union, uniting duality,

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<v Speaker 2>transforming the concept of duality by recognizing the inherent union

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<v Speaker 2>of all expressions of life. And it focuses on balance.

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<v Speaker 2>We all, as human beings have masculine and feminine In fact,

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<v Speaker 2>we've got masculine channels and feminine channels in the body,

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<v Speaker 2>and the important thing is for them to be balance.

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<v Speaker 2>That's the point of your tenttr yoga practice. When you're

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<v Speaker 2>doing energy body yoga, you are balancing your energy bodies.

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<v Speaker 2>So sometimes your masculine channels need more energy, or sometimes

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<v Speaker 2>your feminine channels need more energy, or maybe your whole

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<v Speaker 2>freaking energy body needs more energy. Right, it's not about

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<v Speaker 2>this dualistic dynamic. That's another way another thing about neo.

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<v Speaker 2>Why you know it's not real contra because real tunture

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<v Speaker 2>is about dismantling duality, not reinforcing it. And this whole

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<v Speaker 2>conversation about polarity is reinforcing concepts of duality, I mean.

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<v Speaker 2>And then this brings us, this brings us to this

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<v Speaker 2>brings us to the topic that we're gonna talk about today,

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<v Speaker 2>which is can you practice contra as the same sex couple? So,

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<v Speaker 2>of course, so I'm gonna circle back to that in

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<v Speaker 2>a moment of the of course why. But what I

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<v Speaker 2>want to point to, what I want to point to

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<v Speaker 2>right now is like, historically, contric Buddhism was about transforming

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<v Speaker 2>rigid concepts of rigid structures, rigid structures of hierarchy and

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<v Speaker 2>rigid structures, rigid structures of patriarchy and male versus female

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<v Speaker 2>and duality and even heterosexuality. There's historical record and contrac

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<v Speaker 2>Buddhism of non binary and trans people, and they were

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<v Speaker 2>referred to as pondicas or pondiicas wherever you put that emphasis.

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<v Speaker 2>And so so these were these were considered to be shamans.

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<v Speaker 2>These were considered to be like potent, powerful, kind of

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<v Speaker 2>magical beings that that had both that weren't necessarily masculine

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<v Speaker 2>or feminine, but were a beautiful fusion of both. And

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<v Speaker 2>so they were viewed as like precious and rare and

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<v Speaker 2>like again like unicorns, so to speak, because they walked

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<v Speaker 2>in all worlds. Right. So, so that that is a

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<v Speaker 2>that is a historical reference in contried Buddhism to the

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<v Speaker 2>celebration and the upliftment of intersex, non binary, trans and

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<v Speaker 2>even homosexual individual It was people who did not fit

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<v Speaker 2>into the rigid binary roles were considered fucking magic.

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<v Speaker 1>That's beautiful. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>So when it comes to to to TNTRA for same

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<v Speaker 2>sex people, you know, something that that causes a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of confusion that that Elena is going to talk about

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<v Speaker 2>in just a moment is this concept of polarity of

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<v Speaker 2>these rigid, you know, masculine feminines. So it that leaves

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of people out of the conversation who don't

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<v Speaker 2>fit in, you know, and that fucking kills me, because,

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<v Speaker 2>you know what, you're not supposed to fit in. Real Tontra.

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<v Speaker 2>Those of us that don't fit in, we're We're We're

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<v Speaker 2>the magic sauce. We're Tontra was not fucking mainstream. Tontic

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<v Speaker 2>Buddhism was not mainstream. It was underground. It was subversive,

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<v Speaker 2>it was transit transgressive, it was fucking revolutionary. We were

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<v Speaker 2>not we were not. The Tontic Buddhists were not the

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<v Speaker 2>people at the top of the you know, top of

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<v Speaker 2>the food chain. They weren't the fucking Brahmins. They were

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<v Speaker 2>the underground. They were the outcasts. They were the untouchables,

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<v Speaker 2>many of them. So that is the roots of contraed Buddhism.

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<v Speaker 2>So so when it comes to you as a as

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<v Speaker 2>a non non normative, heteronormative and nonsense gender person looking

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<v Speaker 2>at at TNTRA and neotontrin feeling unincluded, you're right, you're

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<v Speaker 2>you're right. But real TNTRA does include you. Real TNTRA

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<v Speaker 2>actually fucking celebrates you.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, okay, thank you, Damian. That's beautiful. Yeah, and you

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<v Speaker 1>talked a lot about about what I was going to

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<v Speaker 1>talk about which is this concept of polarity and neotantra

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<v Speaker 1>that that's so prevalent in that community, and that that

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<v Speaker 1>can cause real pain and suffering for a large portion

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<v Speaker 1>of the population both you know, as you said, uh,

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<v Speaker 1>same sex couples, people of who are our gender diverse,

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<v Speaker 1>and again it also is violent to people who are

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<v Speaker 1>cysts as well because it puts those in those specific

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<v Speaker 1>gender roles, right, And as you were talking about, like,

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<v Speaker 1>it doesn't really have anything to do with real tntra,

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<v Speaker 1>So you're probably going to go more into this. But

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<v Speaker 1>in our lineage of practice, we define mantra as weaving

414
00:23:23.160 --> 00:23:25.680
<v Speaker 1>light with sound and form. Right, That is the mantra

415
00:23:25.799 --> 00:23:30.240
<v Speaker 1>that we do. It is energy work, right, and everything

416
00:23:30.279 --> 00:23:34.680
<v Speaker 1>else that we teach is to go along with that

417
00:23:34.839 --> 00:23:37.240
<v Speaker 1>energy work. It's not the tntra. The tntra is the

418
00:23:37.319 --> 00:23:40.319
<v Speaker 1>energy work itself. So we we've light and sound with form,

419
00:23:40.400 --> 00:23:44.039
<v Speaker 1>the light being our visualization, the sound being launchic syllable,

420
00:23:44.279 --> 00:23:45.839
<v Speaker 1>the form being our bodies.

421
00:23:46.000 --> 00:23:46.160
<v Speaker 2>Right.

422
00:23:46.720 --> 00:23:50.599
<v Speaker 1>And I think in this instance the person may be

423
00:23:50.680 --> 00:23:54.720
<v Speaker 1>talking more about the sexual practices because they are specifically

424
00:23:55.640 --> 00:23:58.559
<v Speaker 1>often linked to the concept of tantra, especially in neo tntra.

425
00:23:59.000 --> 00:24:02.119
<v Speaker 1>But that and up self is not tantra. So you

426
00:24:02.119 --> 00:24:04.799
<v Speaker 1>can anyone. Tantra's for anyone, right, you can one hundred

427
00:24:04.839 --> 00:24:10.680
<v Speaker 1>percent learn this energy body yoga, learn it, synthesize it,

428
00:24:10.799 --> 00:24:15.759
<v Speaker 1>and receive profound healing from it. And also the sexual

429
00:24:15.799 --> 00:24:21.400
<v Speaker 1>teachings that we offer are also for everyone. So there

430
00:24:21.480 --> 00:24:23.920
<v Speaker 1>there really isn't a you know, a hierarchy or a

431
00:24:23.960 --> 00:24:28.359
<v Speaker 1>differentiation between you know, practicing it as an individual, practicing

432
00:24:28.359 --> 00:24:31.519
<v Speaker 1>it in a sist heat couple, or practicing it in

433
00:24:32.200 --> 00:24:38.039
<v Speaker 1>a homosexual couple or any other congomeration of of of

434
00:24:38.680 --> 00:24:39.519
<v Speaker 1>queer coupledom.

435
00:24:40.519 --> 00:24:44.559
<v Speaker 2>And so, because Elena and I actually are practice under

436
00:24:44.559 --> 00:24:47.680
<v Speaker 2>the umbrella of lineage and have a root lama and

437
00:24:47.759 --> 00:24:52.720
<v Speaker 2>do actually practice authentic lineage based Tibetan Buddhist tntra, we

438
00:24:52.839 --> 00:24:57.359
<v Speaker 2>approach tntra. She was saying from a perspective of there

439
00:24:57.400 --> 00:25:02.839
<v Speaker 2>being sexual tontra and on sexual contra, right, there's both.

440
00:25:02.960 --> 00:25:08.400
<v Speaker 2>And basically, when it comes to sexual tntra, you when

441
00:25:08.440 --> 00:25:11.519
<v Speaker 2>you're practicing real tenttra and not just you know, sexual

442
00:25:11.559 --> 00:25:16.319
<v Speaker 2>healing methods. Essentially, when you're practicing real contra, real sexual tentra,

443
00:25:16.359 --> 00:25:19.359
<v Speaker 2>authentic sexual tentra, what you are doing is applying your

444
00:25:19.400 --> 00:25:23.759
<v Speaker 2>non sexual practice, your non sexual energy body yoga practice,

445
00:25:23.799 --> 00:25:28.319
<v Speaker 2>to your sexual activity. The beautiful thing about cultivating non

446
00:25:28.400 --> 00:25:31.799
<v Speaker 2>sexual contra practice is you very quickly begin to realize

447
00:25:31.799 --> 00:25:37.319
<v Speaker 2>that you can make any activity tontric by your attention,

448
00:25:38.039 --> 00:25:42.400
<v Speaker 2>your intention, your focus, and your awareness. No matter what

449
00:25:42.680 --> 00:25:47.480
<v Speaker 2>you're doing, it can become a tontric practice because real,

450
00:25:47.559 --> 00:25:51.759
<v Speaker 2>authentic TNTRA is an internal practice. It's something we're doing

451
00:25:51.920 --> 00:25:55.920
<v Speaker 2>internally with our awareness, with our attention, with our focus,

452
00:25:56.119 --> 00:25:59.480
<v Speaker 2>with our mantra, with our chanting, with our breath. You

453
00:25:59.519 --> 00:26:03.119
<v Speaker 2>can practic this tntra walking. You can practice tntra doing

454
00:26:03.160 --> 00:26:06.119
<v Speaker 2>the dishes. You can practice contra making sweet love with

455
00:26:06.160 --> 00:26:09.640
<v Speaker 2>your partner. You can practice tnture when you're pooping. In fact,

456
00:26:09.680 --> 00:26:12.279
<v Speaker 2>we have a video on I think on our YouTube

457
00:26:12.359 --> 00:26:14.839
<v Speaker 2>channel and maybe our Instagram channel. I think it got

458
00:26:14.839 --> 00:26:17.000
<v Speaker 2>taken down Instagram. We can post it again, but it's

459
00:26:17.000 --> 00:26:19.039
<v Speaker 2>definitely on YouTube because I was watching it the other day.

460
00:26:19.359 --> 00:26:22.440
<v Speaker 2>You can practice tntrare while pooping. You can chant mantra

461
00:26:22.759 --> 00:26:25.200
<v Speaker 2>and do energy body yoga while you're sitting on the

462
00:26:25.200 --> 00:26:27.440
<v Speaker 2>toilet pooping. And in fact that it was an instruction

463
00:26:27.559 --> 00:26:30.640
<v Speaker 2>from my lama, so there's not one moment when you

464
00:26:30.640 --> 00:26:34.799
<v Speaker 2>are practicing authentic tntra. Not one moment is wasted, Not

465
00:26:35.119 --> 00:26:38.640
<v Speaker 2>one moment of your human experience is wasted. You can

466
00:26:38.680 --> 00:26:42.319
<v Speaker 2>practice tonture with every breath if you want to, and

467
00:26:42.359 --> 00:26:45.880
<v Speaker 2>at a certain point, you get to a point where

468
00:26:45.920 --> 00:26:49.839
<v Speaker 2>everything you do is your tenttra practice. Whether you're intentionally

469
00:26:49.880 --> 00:26:53.519
<v Speaker 2>doing it or whether you're living it as an embodied experience,

470
00:26:54.039 --> 00:26:57.839
<v Speaker 2>everything that you do becomes tntra. There's no separation between

471
00:26:57.839 --> 00:27:02.319
<v Speaker 2>your tntra and your life. So that's that's that's the

472
00:27:02.680 --> 00:27:05.319
<v Speaker 2>that's the goal of practice, so that you can actually

473
00:27:05.440 --> 00:27:08.720
<v Speaker 2>leave practice away. The analogy give like leave your practice behind.

474
00:27:08.720 --> 00:27:11.519
<v Speaker 2>The analogy is like if you're crossing a river. You

475
00:27:11.599 --> 00:27:13.720
<v Speaker 2>need a raft to cross the river. It's a tool,

476
00:27:13.759 --> 00:27:15.319
<v Speaker 2>but once you get to the once you get to

477
00:27:15.319 --> 00:27:16.759
<v Speaker 2>the other side of the river, you're not going to

478
00:27:16.799 --> 00:27:19.559
<v Speaker 2>carry your raft with you, right, Well, that's the dharma.

479
00:27:19.880 --> 00:27:23.240
<v Speaker 2>That's that's tantra practice. Is that you use it to

480
00:27:23.319 --> 00:27:25.400
<v Speaker 2>get to a certain point and then when you are

481
00:27:25.519 --> 00:27:29.039
<v Speaker 2>actually firmly anchored in that level of realization, you don't

482
00:27:29.079 --> 00:27:31.160
<v Speaker 2>need to continue carrying it with you, or maybe you

483
00:27:31.240 --> 00:27:34.400
<v Speaker 2>just actually carry one stick you change the shape of

484
00:27:34.400 --> 00:27:36.599
<v Speaker 2>the raft and turned it into a walking stick to

485
00:27:36.680 --> 00:27:39.440
<v Speaker 2>help your journey now, to help this leg of your journey. Right,

486
00:27:39.480 --> 00:27:43.160
<v Speaker 2>So it changes your relationship to the actual practice changes

487
00:27:43.240 --> 00:27:47.400
<v Speaker 2>as your realization as a result of your practice evolves

488
00:27:47.440 --> 00:27:52.880
<v Speaker 2>and changes and grows. So so yeah, so we're talking

489
00:27:52.880 --> 00:27:54.880
<v Speaker 2>about tntra for same sex people. That's a lot. So

490
00:27:54.960 --> 00:27:56.799
<v Speaker 2>here we go. So, so the non sexual I think

491
00:27:56.839 --> 00:28:00.000
<v Speaker 2>we've we sufficiently answered, Yes, the non sexual yoga practice.

492
00:28:00.119 --> 00:28:03.839
<v Speaker 2>As long as you are human and you have attention

493
00:28:04.720 --> 00:28:08.839
<v Speaker 2>and the desire and the intention, you can practice non

494
00:28:08.880 --> 00:28:13.400
<v Speaker 2>sexual contra. Can you, as the same sex couple, apply

495
00:28:13.599 --> 00:28:17.359
<v Speaker 2>your non sexual tentra yoga practice to your sexuality? Absolutely?

496
00:28:17.400 --> 00:28:19.559
<v Speaker 2>Of course, Why would it be any different for you

497
00:28:19.640 --> 00:28:22.920
<v Speaker 2>than anybody else? Of course you can. You're a human being.

498
00:28:23.440 --> 00:28:25.920
<v Speaker 2>Your genitals are irrelevant when it comes to tantra. I

499
00:28:25.920 --> 00:28:27.480
<v Speaker 2>mean they're relevant because you want to know how to

500
00:28:27.720 --> 00:28:30.160
<v Speaker 2>how to make them work. You know how to make them,

501
00:28:30.240 --> 00:28:32.680
<v Speaker 2>how to make them cream. I want to say, you know,

502
00:28:33.400 --> 00:28:35.519
<v Speaker 2>I don't know what I was thinking of Princess Saga, right,

503
00:28:37.119 --> 00:28:40.440
<v Speaker 2>how to make them generate the nectar that they are

504
00:28:40.519 --> 00:28:42.839
<v Speaker 2>that they're designed to generate, So they're important that way,

505
00:28:43.240 --> 00:28:47.519
<v Speaker 2>but they're irrelevant in terms of like they're just different parts,

506
00:28:47.799 --> 00:28:50.519
<v Speaker 2>you know, like of course, of course, of course, of course,

507
00:28:50.559 --> 00:28:53.599
<v Speaker 2>of course you can you can apply your non sexual

508
00:28:53.599 --> 00:28:57.240
<v Speaker 2>practice to your sexual practice. And are there specific methods

509
00:28:57.240 --> 00:29:03.880
<v Speaker 2>sexual methods for same sex people? Yes, actually there are,

510
00:29:05.799 --> 00:29:08.359
<v Speaker 2>I could take them with it. Didn't think for a moment. Yes,

511
00:29:08.480 --> 00:29:11.880
<v Speaker 2>actually there are differences if you are in the same

512
00:29:11.920 --> 00:29:16.680
<v Speaker 2>sex couple as with lotus, which is we're gonna say

513
00:29:16.799 --> 00:29:20.400
<v Speaker 2>vagina or volvan vagina we're gonna reference as lotus. And

514
00:29:20.440 --> 00:29:23.400
<v Speaker 2>then if you're in the same sex couple with a vazra,

515
00:29:24.240 --> 00:29:27.319
<v Speaker 2>a divine thunderbolt of wisdom or otherwise no as a penist,

516
00:29:27.319 --> 00:29:29.519
<v Speaker 2>but I prefer divine thunderbolt of wisdom, and I would

517
00:29:29.519 --> 00:29:32.599
<v Speaker 2>guess y'all do too, whether your divine thunderbolt of wisdom. Yes,

518
00:29:32.640 --> 00:29:35.119
<v Speaker 2>you are going to run the energy body yogas slightly

519
00:29:35.160 --> 00:29:38.680
<v Speaker 2>differently when you are in when you are partnered with

520
00:29:38.680 --> 00:29:41.079
<v Speaker 2>with with this with the same sex and when we

521
00:29:41.160 --> 00:29:44.640
<v Speaker 2>do our Tuntra Couples are Tantra Coaching for Couples Tuntra

522
00:29:44.680 --> 00:29:49.000
<v Speaker 2>Healing for Couples program in twenty twenty six that will

523
00:29:49.000 --> 00:29:51.599
<v Speaker 2>be open for heterosexual and same sex couples, and so

524
00:29:51.640 --> 00:29:54.880
<v Speaker 2>we'll give those instructions during class, like the differences in

525
00:29:54.920 --> 00:29:58.400
<v Speaker 2>the energy body yoga depending on if you're playing with

526
00:29:58.440 --> 00:30:04.519
<v Speaker 2>the same same puzzle pieces or opposite puzzle pieces. Yeah, okay,

527
00:30:04.640 --> 00:30:06.200
<v Speaker 2>I went on forever. Did you want to add anything

528
00:30:06.240 --> 00:30:07.079
<v Speaker 2>to that, Elena.

529
00:30:08.039 --> 00:30:09.359
<v Speaker 1>Hmmm, not at the moment.

530
00:30:10.960 --> 00:30:15.160
<v Speaker 2>So s to BN s to moyben toto bien toto

531
00:30:15.240 --> 00:30:19.240
<v Speaker 2>bin okay. So, so why don't I go into tons?

532
00:30:19.240 --> 00:30:22.200
<v Speaker 2>So because I have experience and not only am I biracial,

533
00:30:22.279 --> 00:30:24.920
<v Speaker 2>I am bisexual, I have all the byes. I have

534
00:30:25.279 --> 00:30:30.480
<v Speaker 2>foots in many worlds, many different worlds, and so I

535
00:30:30.519 --> 00:30:35.359
<v Speaker 2>have I have had tonture with with other Lotus owners

536
00:30:35.160 --> 00:30:38.039
<v Speaker 2>and I fucking love it. That's one of my favorite

537
00:30:38.079 --> 00:30:43.319
<v Speaker 2>things is tontra with with with another Lotus owner. And

538
00:30:43.400 --> 00:30:46.880
<v Speaker 2>so I'll share a little bit about my experience in

539
00:30:47.039 --> 00:30:52.319
<v Speaker 2>terms of how the adjustments that that that occur naturally

540
00:30:52.440 --> 00:30:57.079
<v Speaker 2>is a result and how the energy flows. So when

541
00:30:57.119 --> 00:30:59.680
<v Speaker 2>it comes to when it came for me to practice

542
00:30:59.680 --> 00:31:04.960
<v Speaker 2>ton with women with other women a sexual contra, we're saying,

543
00:31:06.279 --> 00:31:08.079
<v Speaker 2>so we do the same, you know, some of the

544
00:31:08.119 --> 00:31:11.160
<v Speaker 2>same practices. Is like you know, looking into each other's

545
00:31:11.200 --> 00:31:13.400
<v Speaker 2>eyes and harmonizing the breath. So when two or more

546
00:31:13.440 --> 00:31:15.759
<v Speaker 2>people breathe together at the same rate, at the same pace,

547
00:31:15.799 --> 00:31:19.559
<v Speaker 2>their heart beats synchronized, brain wave synchronized. I'm a big

548
00:31:19.599 --> 00:31:23.680
<v Speaker 2>fan of having my heart, heart beat synchronized and my

549
00:31:23.759 --> 00:31:26.720
<v Speaker 2>brain waves synchronized before I try to synchronize my genitals.

550
00:31:26.759 --> 00:31:29.319
<v Speaker 2>I'm just saying, I'm very much a top down person

551
00:31:29.359 --> 00:31:31.640
<v Speaker 2>when it comes to that, or a heart down person

552
00:31:31.680 --> 00:31:34.400
<v Speaker 2>when it comes to that. And then when it comes

553
00:31:34.400 --> 00:31:37.799
<v Speaker 2>to the yoga breathing practices, yeah, energy flows, and you know,

554
00:31:38.160 --> 00:31:42.640
<v Speaker 2>absolutely for anyone, anyone who's bisexual, those of us who

555
00:31:42.720 --> 00:31:45.599
<v Speaker 2>are bisexual, and I happen to believe that if we

556
00:31:45.599 --> 00:31:48.759
<v Speaker 2>removed or if our cultural conditioning looked a different way

557
00:31:48.799 --> 00:31:51.720
<v Speaker 2>than it does today, I am a believer that I

558
00:31:51.759 --> 00:31:54.039
<v Speaker 2>would say I truly believe that at least eighty percent

559
00:31:54.039 --> 00:31:57.279
<v Speaker 2>of the population is bisexual. I really feel like bisexuality

560
00:31:57.319 --> 00:31:59.680
<v Speaker 2>is normal. I do. It's like it seems it's like,

561
00:32:00.200 --> 00:32:02.839
<v Speaker 2>I mean, if you think of when your children and children,

562
00:32:03.000 --> 00:32:05.359
<v Speaker 2>don't you know, they're they like they play with each

563
00:32:05.359 --> 00:32:08.400
<v Speaker 2>other's genitals, they'd look at their own genitals like I mean,

564
00:32:08.839 --> 00:32:11.200
<v Speaker 2>anyway that's my personal opinion. I know, and I've seen

565
00:32:11.240 --> 00:32:12.880
<v Speaker 2>it elsewhere, but I just can't remember where.

566
00:32:14.680 --> 00:32:18.279
<v Speaker 1>Uh yeah, I think many sex educators believe that people

567
00:32:18.359 --> 00:32:22.240
<v Speaker 1>fall on a spectrum, right. I think Kinsey was the

568
00:32:22.279 --> 00:32:25.640
<v Speaker 1>first person to talk about that spectrum when he invented

569
00:32:25.640 --> 00:32:27.839
<v Speaker 1>the Kinsey scale, at least in the United States.

570
00:32:28.839 --> 00:32:31.799
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, yeah, and I love that, and I love

571
00:32:31.839 --> 00:32:33.480
<v Speaker 2>that idea of a scale. I'm not a big fan

572
00:32:33.519 --> 00:32:36.599
<v Speaker 2>of Kinsey myself, bless his heart, but bless their heart, whatever,

573
00:32:37.319 --> 00:32:39.440
<v Speaker 2>but I do love the idea of a scale because

574
00:32:39.480 --> 00:32:41.039
<v Speaker 2>you know, and I would also say in terms of

575
00:32:41.039 --> 00:32:44.400
<v Speaker 2>the scale, like that's not static, because there's certain times

576
00:32:44.400 --> 00:32:46.839
<v Speaker 2>in our life that we may be more inclined one

577
00:32:46.839 --> 00:32:49.559
<v Speaker 2>way or the other. Like I've the lifetimes that I've

578
00:32:49.599 --> 00:32:55.200
<v Speaker 2>lived just in the last two years, much less, you know,

579
00:32:55.400 --> 00:32:58.240
<v Speaker 2>the last fifty years, Like I'm not the same person

580
00:32:58.319 --> 00:33:02.480
<v Speaker 2>fifty years later that I was though before. So so

581
00:33:02.599 --> 00:33:05.559
<v Speaker 2>I will say that my my sexual orientation, or I

582
00:33:05.559 --> 00:33:09.759
<v Speaker 2>would say my sexual movement in the world, not necessarily orientation,

583
00:33:09.839 --> 00:33:11.720
<v Speaker 2>but how I choose to move in the world sexually

584
00:33:11.759 --> 00:33:16.000
<v Speaker 2>has evolved tremendously, and I've been more inclined towards you know,

585
00:33:16.200 --> 00:33:20.319
<v Speaker 2>homosexuality and other client and more inclined towards heterosexuality at

586
00:33:20.319 --> 00:33:23.519
<v Speaker 2>different points in my life, but definitely fluid in that term.

587
00:33:23.599 --> 00:33:29.359
<v Speaker 2>So speaking from my experience practicing contru with with many women,

588
00:33:29.920 --> 00:33:32.480
<v Speaker 2>I mean it just for those of us, says I

589
00:33:32.480 --> 00:33:34.519
<v Speaker 2>was going to say, who are bisexual. There is a

590
00:33:34.559 --> 00:33:37.279
<v Speaker 2>difference in the way the energy flows when you're when

591
00:33:37.319 --> 00:33:39.880
<v Speaker 2>you when you're playing with somebody who has the same

592
00:33:39.960 --> 00:33:43.720
<v Speaker 2>genital anatomy, like, there is a different quality and which

593
00:33:43.759 --> 00:33:46.440
<v Speaker 2>is part of why we do that. It's a different,

594
00:33:46.960 --> 00:33:49.720
<v Speaker 2>you know, flavor of food, so to speak. It's a

595
00:33:49.759 --> 00:33:53.279
<v Speaker 2>different different, different taste, different flavor, just like with every

596
00:33:53.319 --> 00:33:57.720
<v Speaker 2>person we engage with sexual sexually. Every there is a

597
00:33:58.160 --> 00:34:03.200
<v Speaker 2>difference based on the sexual anatomy. Absolutely a different quality

598
00:34:03.240 --> 00:34:06.720
<v Speaker 2>and a different energetic exchange. And what I found really

599
00:34:06.839 --> 00:34:12.360
<v Speaker 2>notable is over time, so when I was predominantly in

600
00:34:12.440 --> 00:34:18.239
<v Speaker 2>relationship having sexual intimacy with women predominantly so like not

601
00:34:18.400 --> 00:34:20.840
<v Speaker 2>eighteen to ninety percent of my sex was happening with

602
00:34:21.159 --> 00:34:27.280
<v Speaker 2>another Yoni owner, another Lotus owner, another woman, the channels

603
00:34:27.360 --> 00:34:33.119
<v Speaker 2>in my energy body actually adapted to accommodate that. So

604
00:34:34.519 --> 00:34:37.159
<v Speaker 2>when I'm having and this don't. I haven't had an

605
00:34:37.159 --> 00:34:40.519
<v Speaker 2>opportunity to gauge this on other people's bodies. So maybe

606
00:34:40.519 --> 00:34:43.280
<v Speaker 2>we can do a study of, you know, tracking energy

607
00:34:43.360 --> 00:34:45.760
<v Speaker 2>channels and seeing how they line up and seeing how

608
00:34:45.760 --> 00:34:48.559
<v Speaker 2>they shift and change when we're making love with different people.

609
00:34:49.079 --> 00:34:53.519
<v Speaker 2>But when I was having sex predominantly with vajras with men,

610
00:34:54.639 --> 00:34:58.519
<v Speaker 2>my channels in my like my down'd avoiding wind channels,

611
00:34:58.519 --> 00:35:01.880
<v Speaker 2>and my channels and my lower end we pointed predominantly

612
00:35:01.920 --> 00:35:05.800
<v Speaker 2>downward to meet the penetration. Right, So the channels like

613
00:35:05.840 --> 00:35:07.800
<v Speaker 2>coming down my cervix and just like in my whole

614
00:35:07.800 --> 00:35:09.480
<v Speaker 2>lower area. And we're not talking I'm not talking about

615
00:35:09.480 --> 00:35:12.639
<v Speaker 2>in the nerve pathways. I'm talking about channels, my energy channels.

616
00:35:12.639 --> 00:35:15.480
<v Speaker 2>So the energy channels can move and change and adapt

617
00:35:15.599 --> 00:35:19.199
<v Speaker 2>to meet the needs to help us digest and metabolize

618
00:35:19.199 --> 00:35:22.800
<v Speaker 2>the energy that we're receiving from our environment more effectively.

619
00:35:23.320 --> 00:35:25.960
<v Speaker 2>And so when I was having sex with heterosexual men

620
00:35:26.599 --> 00:35:29.719
<v Speaker 2>a lot, or you know, my number one food source,

621
00:35:29.880 --> 00:35:33.440
<v Speaker 2>shall we say, my energy channels were pointing downwards to

622
00:35:33.519 --> 00:35:39.400
<v Speaker 2>accommodate the penetration. When I was predominantly having sex as

623
00:35:40.039 --> 00:35:43.719
<v Speaker 2>with women as my predominant food source for sex, my

624
00:35:43.880 --> 00:35:47.159
<v Speaker 2>channels actually shifted so that they were pointing out like

625
00:35:47.480 --> 00:35:51.280
<v Speaker 2>towards the anterior of my body, so no longer downward,

626
00:35:51.400 --> 00:35:54.239
<v Speaker 2>but more anterior in order to receive more of a

627
00:35:54.320 --> 00:35:57.880
<v Speaker 2>full whole body exchange as opposed to just the exchange

628
00:35:57.880 --> 00:36:00.199
<v Speaker 2>from the lingam. So that was very interesting because it

629
00:36:00.320 --> 00:36:04.280
<v Speaker 2>definitely changed the quality of my orgasm and it definitely

630
00:36:04.360 --> 00:36:08.480
<v Speaker 2>changed the quality of my of my sexual experience because

631
00:36:08.480 --> 00:36:11.960
<v Speaker 2>it was moving through like different channels of the energy body.

632
00:36:12.440 --> 00:36:15.039
<v Speaker 2>And then you know, when I when I was no

633
00:36:15.119 --> 00:36:20.800
<v Speaker 2>longer having having sex as often with women, the channels

634
00:36:20.800 --> 00:36:25.679
<v Speaker 2>and I'm predominantly monogamous in a heterosexual dynamic, my channels

635
00:36:25.719 --> 00:36:28.880
<v Speaker 2>are all, you know, pointing downward to receive, to receive

636
00:36:28.920 --> 00:36:31.480
<v Speaker 2>my partner again, my male partner again. So that was

637
00:36:31.559 --> 00:36:34.440
<v Speaker 2>my experience of kind of shifting with the energy channels

638
00:36:34.440 --> 00:36:37.760
<v Speaker 2>and how they can how they will adapt to or

639
00:36:38.079 --> 00:36:47.159
<v Speaker 2>can adapt to to to receive the love essentially the medicine,

640
00:36:47.760 --> 00:36:52.880
<v Speaker 2>the food, sex, sex and food sex and nourishment. Right

641
00:36:52.920 --> 00:36:55.559
<v Speaker 2>to receive the nourishment that we're receiving from our partners,

642
00:36:55.599 --> 00:36:59.639
<v Speaker 2>regardless of how that energy is being put into our bodies,

643
00:36:59.679 --> 00:37:03.480
<v Speaker 2>whether be through you know, physical penetration or you know,

644
00:37:04.039 --> 00:37:07.360
<v Speaker 2>surface activity or just a different kind of penetration, because

645
00:37:07.360 --> 00:37:09.599
<v Speaker 2>I was still being penetrated, but I just wasn't being

646
00:37:09.639 --> 00:37:12.320
<v Speaker 2>penetrated by a penis when I was with women, I

647
00:37:12.360 --> 00:37:14.079
<v Speaker 2>will say I was still being penetrated, just not with

648
00:37:14.119 --> 00:37:16.360
<v Speaker 2>a penis. I was being penetrated with you know, other

649
00:37:16.400 --> 00:37:20.519
<v Speaker 2>things anyway, So that's along, That's a lot. So okay,

650
00:37:20.679 --> 00:37:22.400
<v Speaker 2>what do you think about that, Lena?

651
00:37:23.159 --> 00:37:26.679
<v Speaker 1>I think that's beautiful. And in addition to that, I'll

652
00:37:26.679 --> 00:37:29.599
<v Speaker 1>say that, you know, so the sexual practices that we

653
00:37:29.760 --> 00:37:34.280
<v Speaker 1>teach that are often linked to tantra but aren't necessarily tantra,

654
00:37:34.400 --> 00:37:39.719
<v Speaker 1>those are also applicable in the same sex, you know,

655
00:37:39.800 --> 00:37:45.199
<v Speaker 1>female female couples. So things like contra union, breathing, sexual

656
00:37:45.199 --> 00:37:52.440
<v Speaker 1>communication practices, yoni massage, partner orgasmic awareness practice. These are

657
00:37:52.480 --> 00:37:57.800
<v Speaker 1>all things we teach that are beautiful, connective, pleasure expanding,

658
00:37:58.119 --> 00:38:03.679
<v Speaker 1>juicy couple practices, and your genital makeup has nothing to

659
00:38:03.719 --> 00:38:05.960
<v Speaker 1>do with whether you can practice them or not.

660
00:38:06.840 --> 00:38:09.280
<v Speaker 2>And what we love to do is give you information,

661
00:38:10.119 --> 00:38:13.920
<v Speaker 2>educate you about your genital makeup, like for for whether

662
00:38:13.960 --> 00:38:17.480
<v Speaker 2>you have a lotus or lingam or combination like the

663
00:38:17.519 --> 00:38:21.320
<v Speaker 2>more we know about how our genitals function, the better

664
00:38:21.360 --> 00:38:23.440
<v Speaker 2>they can function. Just like the more you know about

665
00:38:23.480 --> 00:38:25.599
<v Speaker 2>what's under the hood of the car, you're gonna be

666
00:38:25.639 --> 00:38:28.519
<v Speaker 2>able to make that car work a lot better. Same, same, same,

667
00:38:28.599 --> 00:38:32.320
<v Speaker 2>So your genitals are important in terms of understanding how

668
00:38:32.360 --> 00:38:35.239
<v Speaker 2>they function for optimal performance. Shall we say it. I

669
00:38:35.280 --> 00:38:37.280
<v Speaker 2>don't mean, you know, performance in a bad way, but

670
00:38:37.400 --> 00:38:41.280
<v Speaker 2>just to you know, optimally bring you bliss because you're

671
00:38:41.280 --> 00:38:44.239
<v Speaker 2>designed for bliss. Your body, your your body is designed

672
00:38:44.280 --> 00:38:46.519
<v Speaker 2>for pleasure. And that's just a fact. Like pleasure is

673
00:38:46.519 --> 00:38:49.039
<v Speaker 2>our is our is our compass, it's our guidance system.

674
00:38:49.079 --> 00:38:51.280
<v Speaker 2>If it feels good, we want to move towards it.

675
00:38:51.360 --> 00:38:53.360
<v Speaker 2>If it hurts, we want to avoid it. That's like

676
00:38:53.440 --> 00:38:56.199
<v Speaker 2>that's what fucking kept us alive for millennia, right, A

677
00:38:56.320 --> 00:38:59.280
<v Speaker 2>very simplified version of that. But your your genitals are

678
00:38:59.320 --> 00:39:04.039
<v Speaker 2>built for pleasure, So understanding how they function to bring

679
00:39:04.079 --> 00:39:07.000
<v Speaker 2>you and your partner the most, the most pleasure is

680
00:39:07.079 --> 00:39:10.119
<v Speaker 2>really important. Education And just want to reiterate again that

681
00:39:10.159 --> 00:39:12.239
<v Speaker 2>we are going to be So if you're thinking, well,

682
00:39:12.239 --> 00:39:14.639
<v Speaker 2>how can I learn all this awesomeness, well, guess what.

683
00:39:15.159 --> 00:39:17.519
<v Speaker 2>In February of twenty twenty six, we're going to open

684
00:39:17.559 --> 00:39:21.000
<v Speaker 2>registration for a Tontra for couples. I think we're calling

685
00:39:21.039 --> 00:39:25.239
<v Speaker 2>it Cultivating Sacred Intimacy Tentre Healing for Couples program that

686
00:39:25.360 --> 00:39:29.719
<v Speaker 2>myself and doctor Ericson and Elena and maybe her partner

687
00:39:29.880 --> 00:39:32.440
<v Speaker 2>going to be teaching you. So registration for that is

688
00:39:32.440 --> 00:39:35.599
<v Speaker 2>going to open in February. February of twenty twenty six,

689
00:39:35.679 --> 00:39:38.880
<v Speaker 2>So make sure you are at Holistic Sexology Institute dot

690
00:39:38.920 --> 00:39:42.039
<v Speaker 2>com and signing up for notifications. If you just signed

691
00:39:42.079 --> 00:39:45.360
<v Speaker 2>up for your Sex's Medicine podcast day weekly doses in

692
00:39:45.400 --> 00:39:48.639
<v Speaker 2>your inbox every day, you will get notifications of any

693
00:39:48.679 --> 00:39:50.519
<v Speaker 2>of our programs. But we are going to be teaching

694
00:39:50.559 --> 00:39:54.199
<v Speaker 2>a Tentra Healing for Couples program in twenty twenty six.

695
00:39:54.320 --> 00:39:58.880
<v Speaker 2>Registration opens February. Fingers crossed. You know, we were going

696
00:39:58.920 --> 00:40:01.400
<v Speaker 2>to do that before before the how week week before

697
00:40:01.440 --> 00:40:05.199
<v Speaker 2>the house burned out. No week after we'd registration, we're

698
00:40:05.320 --> 00:40:07.679
<v Speaker 2>uping registration for the Tatrina thing for couple. So we

699
00:40:07.719 --> 00:40:09.360
<v Speaker 2>had to do it from Costa Rica, y'all. We had

700
00:40:09.360 --> 00:40:12.679
<v Speaker 2>to do it from Costa Rica.

701
00:40:15.280 --> 00:40:17.400
<v Speaker 1>Okay, are we ready to talk about men?

702
00:40:17.760 --> 00:40:20.119
<v Speaker 2>Yes? Let's talk about so. Yes, let's talk about So

703
00:40:20.119 --> 00:40:23.280
<v Speaker 2>we're going to talk about you men, you sist gender

704
00:40:23.320 --> 00:40:26.840
<v Speaker 2>men and your beautiful beautiful lingams and and you and

705
00:40:26.960 --> 00:40:30.199
<v Speaker 2>same sex practicing tantra as the same sex couple, because

706
00:40:30.239 --> 00:40:33.239
<v Speaker 2>y'all get left out of this conversation. You do, and

707
00:40:33.280 --> 00:40:35.519
<v Speaker 2>we want we want you to know that that we

708
00:40:35.599 --> 00:40:39.840
<v Speaker 2>see you and we celebrate you, and you are a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,

709
00:40:39.840 --> 00:40:42.280
<v Speaker 2>beautiful expression of life. So go on, Elena, give it

710
00:40:42.320 --> 00:40:42.559
<v Speaker 2>to them.

711
00:40:42.639 --> 00:40:47.119
<v Speaker 1>Yes, thank you so much, Davey. So, I have trained

712
00:40:47.159 --> 00:40:51.480
<v Speaker 1>a number of queer, queer men and queer people who

713
00:40:51.519 --> 00:40:54.360
<v Speaker 1>have lingams and penises in my time as a Tantra

714
00:40:54.559 --> 00:40:59.039
<v Speaker 1>teacher and educator, And yeah, Tantra is absolutely applicable to

715
00:41:00.039 --> 00:41:03.159
<v Speaker 1>people who have penises in the same sex relationship as well.

716
00:41:03.800 --> 00:41:06.280
<v Speaker 1>So just starting again with talking about the energy body

717
00:41:06.360 --> 00:41:11.000
<v Speaker 1>yoga of TNTRA. You know, I think what I really

718
00:41:11.039 --> 00:41:14.559
<v Speaker 1>like to presence is that the contrac practices are heart

719
00:41:14.719 --> 00:41:19.119
<v Speaker 1>centered practices. So when we're doing this energy body yoga,

720
00:41:19.239 --> 00:41:22.360
<v Speaker 1>we're always beginning and ending in the heart right, which

721
00:41:22.400 --> 00:41:25.880
<v Speaker 1>really deepens our connection to ourselves. And when practice in

722
00:41:25.960 --> 00:41:29.760
<v Speaker 1>partnership deepens our connection to our partner, as well, which

723
00:41:29.800 --> 00:41:31.679
<v Speaker 1>is just you can't go wrong with that, right, Like,

724
00:41:32.519 --> 00:41:34.679
<v Speaker 1>this is the gold standard for relationships when your hearts

725
00:41:34.679 --> 00:41:40.039
<v Speaker 1>are are purely beautifully connected to one another. And yeah,

726
00:41:40.079 --> 00:41:43.639
<v Speaker 1>when we do that, our relationships get better, We communicate

727
00:41:43.840 --> 00:41:46.920
<v Speaker 1>more clearly, we give each other more grace, We heal

728
00:41:47.079 --> 00:41:52.159
<v Speaker 1>our wounds. And especially for men, men who have been

729
00:41:52.199 --> 00:41:56.920
<v Speaker 1>socialized in men are people with penises who've been socialized

730
00:41:56.960 --> 00:41:59.679
<v Speaker 1>in this country. One of the first things that happens

731
00:41:59.840 --> 00:42:02.639
<v Speaker 1>to them as they are separated from their connection. They

732
00:42:02.679 --> 00:42:06.360
<v Speaker 1>are separated. They're severed violently from their emotions, and they're

733
00:42:06.360 --> 00:42:08.559
<v Speaker 1>not loud to feel their emotions. And this gets in

734
00:42:09.199 --> 00:42:13.840
<v Speaker 1>the way of connecting deeply with others and in their

735
00:42:13.880 --> 00:42:17.840
<v Speaker 1>partnerships as well. So when we you know, refocus both

736
00:42:17.880 --> 00:42:20.880
<v Speaker 1>with these energy body practices and these these sexual or

737
00:42:20.880 --> 00:42:25.000
<v Speaker 1>connection based practices we're giving ourselves, they're they're they're getting

738
00:42:25.000 --> 00:42:31.840
<v Speaker 1>the opportunity to heal that that connection wounds and to yeah,

739
00:42:32.159 --> 00:42:35.280
<v Speaker 1>to rediscover it, right, to rediscover that connection and that

740
00:42:35.280 --> 00:42:42.679
<v Speaker 1>that emotional literacy and uh what sort of vulnerability?

741
00:42:42.719 --> 00:42:45.599
<v Speaker 2>Thank you? Yeah, I love it, and I love that

742
00:42:45.639 --> 00:42:48.559
<v Speaker 2>you brought it back to Tontra is about a heart

743
00:42:48.599 --> 00:42:50.840
<v Speaker 2>to heart connection that that is like, that is what

744
00:42:51.079 --> 00:42:53.880
<v Speaker 2>sexual tntra is rutans with all tentras rooted in, but

745
00:42:53.920 --> 00:42:59.239
<v Speaker 2>particularly sexual tentres having that loving, open, present, spacious connection

746
00:42:59.400 --> 00:43:02.800
<v Speaker 2>with one of them. So that's the key, that's both

747
00:43:02.800 --> 00:43:05.000
<v Speaker 2>the goal, that's both the practice and the goal.

748
00:43:06.480 --> 00:43:10.599
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Yeah, And in terms of sticking with the energy

749
00:43:10.599 --> 00:43:12.800
<v Speaker 1>body and kind of going along the lines of what

750
00:43:12.800 --> 00:43:15.480
<v Speaker 1>you were talking about, Datie, there are some differences about

751
00:43:15.480 --> 00:43:21.840
<v Speaker 1>how you know, men who are in same sex union,

752
00:43:22.079 --> 00:43:25.440
<v Speaker 1>how their energy channel would relate to one another. So

753
00:43:25.639 --> 00:43:29.000
<v Speaker 1>when we're placing our central channel in this tradition, it

754
00:43:29.079 --> 00:43:30.880
<v Speaker 1>runs through the center of the body in front of

755
00:43:30.880 --> 00:43:33.239
<v Speaker 1>the spine, from the soft stop spot on the top

756
00:43:33.280 --> 00:43:37.199
<v Speaker 1>of the head and ends in the parandium. So what

757
00:43:37.239 --> 00:43:39.719
<v Speaker 1>we often talk about is, you know, when people are

758
00:43:39.719 --> 00:43:43.599
<v Speaker 1>in heterosexual union, there's an offshoot of the central channel

759
00:43:43.920 --> 00:43:46.360
<v Speaker 1>that goes through the penis to the tip of the

760
00:43:46.440 --> 00:43:49.000
<v Speaker 1>lingam and there's an offshoot of the central channel that

761
00:43:49.079 --> 00:43:52.000
<v Speaker 1>goes from the central channel into the cervix. So when

762
00:43:52.079 --> 00:43:55.360
<v Speaker 1>people are in union in a heterosexual couple, we've got

763
00:43:55.119 --> 00:43:58.639
<v Speaker 1>that direct connection between the two central channels, so you're

764
00:43:58.719 --> 00:44:02.679
<v Speaker 1>kind of connected and having this little bit of of

765
00:44:02.679 --> 00:44:06.280
<v Speaker 1>a merge with each other's energy bodies. Right, And when

766
00:44:06.599 --> 00:44:10.880
<v Speaker 1>we're doing this with men in same sex couples, the

767
00:44:10.920 --> 00:44:13.280
<v Speaker 1>same thing happens. It's just slightly altered.

768
00:44:13.400 --> 00:44:13.599
<v Speaker 2>Right.

769
00:44:13.679 --> 00:44:18.159
<v Speaker 1>So in that case, if two men are having anal sex,

770
00:44:18.920 --> 00:44:21.360
<v Speaker 1>there's an offshoot you can access to the central channel

771
00:44:21.400 --> 00:44:23.920
<v Speaker 1>through the anus itself, and of course there's still a

772
00:44:23.960 --> 00:44:26.239
<v Speaker 1>central channel off shoot through the penis. So they're having

773
00:44:26.280 --> 00:44:29.119
<v Speaker 1>that same level of connection, they're just coming at it

774
00:44:29.159 --> 00:44:31.480
<v Speaker 1>from a different points in the body.

775
00:44:32.960 --> 00:44:37.639
<v Speaker 2>And the anus or the rectum is where the downward

776
00:44:37.679 --> 00:44:40.760
<v Speaker 2>avoiding winds arise. Okay, pardon my chihuahua. If you can

777
00:44:40.800 --> 00:44:42.480
<v Speaker 2>hear him in the background, I'm not sure if you can.

778
00:44:42.679 --> 00:44:46.599
<v Speaker 2>I can hear him. He's driving me crazy. But the

779
00:44:46.679 --> 00:44:50.480
<v Speaker 2>downward avoiding winds actually arise in the rectum. And so

780
00:44:50.639 --> 00:44:54.239
<v Speaker 2>this is one of the reasons that anal pleasure is

781
00:44:54.480 --> 00:45:00.519
<v Speaker 2>so so profoundly important for all anus Ownershi, you meant

782
00:45:02.079 --> 00:45:05.199
<v Speaker 2>and this owners, but for all of us is having

783
00:45:05.280 --> 00:45:08.920
<v Speaker 2>anal pleasure can help remove and dissolve any obstacles in

784
00:45:08.920 --> 00:45:12.719
<v Speaker 2>the downward voiding winds, allowing those downward voiding winds to rebalance.

785
00:45:12.800 --> 00:45:16.679
<v Speaker 2>It can improve your bowel function having any massage and

786
00:45:16.719 --> 00:45:21.280
<v Speaker 2>anal pleasure, So your anus is a the second highest

787
00:45:21.280 --> 00:45:24.159
<v Speaker 2>concentration of pleasure sensitive nerve endings, if there is such

788
00:45:24.159 --> 00:45:27.760
<v Speaker 2>a thing. And also too, it's also the home of

789
00:45:27.760 --> 00:45:30.480
<v Speaker 2>where the downward voiding winds arise in the body, and

790
00:45:30.519 --> 00:45:35.239
<v Speaker 2>so it's a very very important energy center to pay

791
00:45:35.280 --> 00:45:35.800
<v Speaker 2>attention to.

792
00:45:37.119 --> 00:45:41.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, and to build off of that because we

793
00:45:41.559 --> 00:45:45.519
<v Speaker 1>when we define orgasm in our tradition from the energy

794
00:45:45.519 --> 00:45:48.320
<v Speaker 1>body perspective, we talk about it being this moment where

795
00:45:48.360 --> 00:45:52.039
<v Speaker 1>our downward our downward voiding winds brush the central channel.

796
00:45:52.400 --> 00:45:56.639
<v Speaker 1>So you're also going to be expanding your capacity to

797
00:45:56.679 --> 00:45:59.920
<v Speaker 1>experience different kinds of orgasms when you're keeping up with

798
00:46:00.079 --> 00:46:02.079
<v Speaker 1>the health of your downward avoiding winds.

799
00:46:02.519 --> 00:46:06.880
<v Speaker 2>Yep, absolutely, yeah, yeah, yeah, So.

800
00:46:06.880 --> 00:46:09.920
<v Speaker 1>That's the energy body component. So talking about some of

801
00:46:09.960 --> 00:46:12.480
<v Speaker 1>the methods that are often thought of as contra but

802
00:46:12.480 --> 00:46:15.840
<v Speaker 1>aren't necessarily contra, but go along with everything we're doing,

803
00:46:16.599 --> 00:46:18.519
<v Speaker 1>there are also some other things that are of great

804
00:46:18.559 --> 00:46:23.159
<v Speaker 1>benefit to men in same sex relationships. So, uh, just

805
00:46:23.280 --> 00:46:28.039
<v Speaker 1>like with women, we just talked about things like contric union, breathing,

806
00:46:28.159 --> 00:46:34.239
<v Speaker 1>and sexual communication. In this case, linga massage and couples

807
00:46:34.320 --> 00:46:39.000
<v Speaker 1>o EP. These are all beautiful practices which have no no,

808
00:46:39.000 --> 00:46:45.679
<v Speaker 1>no need for specific genital makeup. Additionally, men who are

809
00:46:45.840 --> 00:46:50.320
<v Speaker 1>tontric often engage in semen retention practices as well, and

810
00:46:50.559 --> 00:46:53.559
<v Speaker 1>this is good for CIS men as well as homosexual

811
00:46:53.599 --> 00:46:56.840
<v Speaker 1>or queer men. I think one of the main distinctions

812
00:46:56.880 --> 00:46:58.559
<v Speaker 1>I want to make here, and the reason we're bringing

813
00:46:58.599 --> 00:47:00.960
<v Speaker 1>it up, is because seman retention is often framed for

814
00:47:01.039 --> 00:47:04.400
<v Speaker 1>men as a way to last longer for her, right.

815
00:47:04.440 --> 00:47:08.000
<v Speaker 1>So that's a very prominent way that people market semen retention,

816
00:47:08.159 --> 00:47:10.719
<v Speaker 1>and so sometimes, you know, queer men and people with

817
00:47:10.760 --> 00:47:13.119
<v Speaker 1>penises feel really left out of that conversation, like why

818
00:47:13.119 --> 00:47:16.079
<v Speaker 1>would I practice this if this is just lasting longer

819
00:47:16.119 --> 00:47:17.239
<v Speaker 1>for a female partner?

820
00:47:17.360 --> 00:47:17.519
<v Speaker 2>Right?

821
00:47:18.559 --> 00:47:21.239
<v Speaker 1>But there are many many other benefits to semen retention

822
00:47:21.280 --> 00:47:25.679
<v Speaker 1>that have nothing to do with that. So there's increased vitality,

823
00:47:25.719 --> 00:47:28.719
<v Speaker 1>so you're retaining chi when you're retaining your semen, so

824
00:47:28.800 --> 00:47:32.480
<v Speaker 1>you're retaining that juicy vital essence, which is going to

825
00:47:32.519 --> 00:47:36.639
<v Speaker 1>improve your health and your well being just overall. There's

826
00:47:36.679 --> 00:47:39.440
<v Speaker 1>also been some studies that indicate that as you retain

827
00:47:39.480 --> 00:47:45.360
<v Speaker 1>your semen, that increases your testosterone. Some of your androgens

828
00:47:45.840 --> 00:47:52.639
<v Speaker 1>in the body, those hormones, and then it also helps

829
00:47:52.679 --> 00:47:56.840
<v Speaker 1>you to what am I trying to say here, seman

830
00:47:56.880 --> 00:48:00.320
<v Speaker 1>retention also helps you with your cultivation of multiple orgas

831
00:48:00.719 --> 00:48:04.679
<v Speaker 1>as well. So if you didn't know this, men and

832
00:48:04.719 --> 00:48:08.119
<v Speaker 1>people with penises, they can have more orgasms than just

833
00:48:08.159 --> 00:48:13.079
<v Speaker 1>an ejaculatory orgasm. They have a huge breath of orgasmic capacity,

834
00:48:13.159 --> 00:48:15.800
<v Speaker 1>different juicy flavors that come from different parts of their

835
00:48:15.800 --> 00:48:18.880
<v Speaker 1>body and are expressed differently, right, And semen retention is

836
00:48:18.920 --> 00:48:22.039
<v Speaker 1>one of the kind of like one of the portals

837
00:48:22.039 --> 00:48:26.679
<v Speaker 1>to getting there for many men. So that's a definite

838
00:48:27.159 --> 00:48:32.119
<v Speaker 1>benefit for all men. And then it's also really wonderful

839
00:48:32.159 --> 00:48:37.400
<v Speaker 1>for them to learn how to slow down and connect

840
00:48:37.719 --> 00:48:40.920
<v Speaker 1>and connect to their pleasure and to connect to their

841
00:48:41.039 --> 00:48:43.400
<v Speaker 1>partner during their sexual practice as well.

842
00:48:46.559 --> 00:48:51.039
<v Speaker 2>Beautiful, beautiful beauty. I mean, the thing is TNDRA is

843
00:48:51.199 --> 00:48:55.000
<v Speaker 2>like real tra authentic linage based ENTRA is for humans.

844
00:48:55.760 --> 00:48:58.760
<v Speaker 2>It's for humans. It's for humans to help us have

845
00:48:58.800 --> 00:49:02.920
<v Speaker 2>a better human existence, a better human experience, and yes,

846
00:49:02.960 --> 00:49:06.639
<v Speaker 2>to realize enlightenment, but not at the expense of our humanity. Right,

847
00:49:06.639 --> 00:49:10.719
<v Speaker 2>That's the thing. As I move, as I realize more

848
00:49:10.880 --> 00:49:16.960
<v Speaker 2>and more Mahamoudra consciousness like just open void, spacious awareness

849
00:49:17.000 --> 00:49:20.639
<v Speaker 2>in my you know, in my awareness, in my consciousness

850
00:49:21.480 --> 00:49:25.440
<v Speaker 2>like the goal that like, enlightenment is not divorcing ourselves

851
00:49:25.480 --> 00:49:29.599
<v Speaker 2>from our humanity. Enlightenment is about being fully human and

852
00:49:29.639 --> 00:49:35.880
<v Speaker 2>being internally free, internally liberated from suffering. And you know,

853
00:49:35.920 --> 00:49:39.119
<v Speaker 2>we are often our own worst enemies, as you know,

854
00:49:39.199 --> 00:49:41.360
<v Speaker 2>this culture conditions us to be, and those of us

855
00:49:41.400 --> 00:49:46.280
<v Speaker 2>with CPDSD are definitely our worst enemies. Right. So so TNTRA,

856
00:49:47.000 --> 00:49:51.280
<v Speaker 2>the tontric enlightenment is true is about ending suffering, ceasing

857
00:49:51.320 --> 00:49:55.679
<v Speaker 2>suffering for all humans and all beings ultimately, but particularly

858
00:49:55.679 --> 00:49:59.840
<v Speaker 2>for all humans. So for you, in regardless of w

859
00:50:00.880 --> 00:50:06.000
<v Speaker 2>relationship orientation, how how you find love, regardless of who

860
00:50:06.159 --> 00:50:10.119
<v Speaker 2>with whom, and how you find love, it's your birthright.

861
00:50:10.920 --> 00:50:15.199
<v Speaker 2>It's your birthright to know how to heal. It's your

862
00:50:15.239 --> 00:50:18.840
<v Speaker 2>birthright to understand your energy body if you're if you're

863
00:50:18.880 --> 00:50:21.679
<v Speaker 2>attracted to that and drawn to that, it's your birthright

864
00:50:21.719 --> 00:50:25.440
<v Speaker 2>to understand how your energy body feeds and nourishes your

865
00:50:25.480 --> 00:50:29.679
<v Speaker 2>physical body, and how you can use connection and pleasure

866
00:50:30.079 --> 00:50:33.360
<v Speaker 2>to increase the energy in your body and to heal

867
00:50:33.599 --> 00:50:39.360
<v Speaker 2>and transform. So so yeah, So hold on one second,

868
00:50:39.360 --> 00:50:42.519
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to pause this. Yes.

869
00:50:44.440 --> 00:50:46.800
<v Speaker 1>So the other thing that I wanted to mention about

870
00:50:47.239 --> 00:50:52.320
<v Speaker 1>contract practices is the way that our specific orientation to

871
00:50:52.400 --> 00:50:55.960
<v Speaker 1>the practice is performed. It really creates a situation where

872
00:50:56.000 --> 00:51:01.440
<v Speaker 1>we're allowed to process a lot of trauma from our bodies, trauma, judgments,

873
00:51:01.519 --> 00:51:05.760
<v Speaker 1>all these nasty things that get stuck in ourselves. Right,

874
00:51:06.119 --> 00:51:08.039
<v Speaker 1>And the way that we practice, we have this beautiful

875
00:51:08.119 --> 00:51:11.280
<v Speaker 1>meshing of the energy body work of the five elements

876
00:51:11.840 --> 00:51:15.840
<v Speaker 1>with our sexual practices but also our somatic practices, right,

877
00:51:15.920 --> 00:51:20.280
<v Speaker 1>So somatic cor regular practices but also somatic sexual healing practices,

878
00:51:20.519 --> 00:51:23.320
<v Speaker 1>and those two practices together I find create kind of

879
00:51:23.360 --> 00:51:26.440
<v Speaker 1>like a bridge inside the body, right, because we're working

880
00:51:27.280 --> 00:51:30.639
<v Speaker 1>on all of the blocks or obscurations or breaks in

881
00:51:30.679 --> 00:51:33.800
<v Speaker 1>our energy body from the inside out. When we're working

882
00:51:33.800 --> 00:51:37.280
<v Speaker 1>in our central channel with elements, 're healing that way,

883
00:51:37.559 --> 00:51:40.960
<v Speaker 1>and then when we're applying the somatic sexual healing principles,

884
00:51:41.000 --> 00:51:45.320
<v Speaker 1>we're working essentially from the outside in to release trauma

885
00:51:45.559 --> 00:51:48.960
<v Speaker 1>where it lives in the body. So that specific orientation

886
00:51:49.039 --> 00:51:52.920
<v Speaker 1>allows us to do so much in terms of moving

887
00:51:52.920 --> 00:51:56.199
<v Speaker 1>towards health and well being. And you know, I just

888
00:51:56.960 --> 00:51:59.360
<v Speaker 1>think about all of the ways that it has helped

889
00:51:59.360 --> 00:52:03.079
<v Speaker 1>our students for the years transform judgments that they've had

890
00:52:03.079 --> 00:52:07.159
<v Speaker 1>about themselves. And so I think a lot about like

891
00:52:07.480 --> 00:52:12.679
<v Speaker 1>transforming judgment one might have about being queer, right, like

892
00:52:12.719 --> 00:52:18.480
<v Speaker 1>internalized homophobia, transforming that in oneself, or judgments one may

893
00:52:18.639 --> 00:52:23.920
<v Speaker 1>feel about engaging in anal sex or Yeah, just all

894
00:52:24.440 --> 00:52:27.960
<v Speaker 1>of the trappings of our that our culture puts upon

895
00:52:28.559 --> 00:52:32.159
<v Speaker 1>queer people. That's something else that can be helped and

896
00:52:32.199 --> 00:52:34.039
<v Speaker 1>transformed to a contric practice.

897
00:52:34.280 --> 00:52:36.519
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, just thank you for that. That's so beautiful. Yeah,

898
00:52:36.559 --> 00:52:39.159
<v Speaker 2>because our culture teaches us, you know, if we don't

899
00:52:39.159 --> 00:52:44.199
<v Speaker 2>fit into these very narrow boxes, teaches us to hate ourselves,

900
00:52:44.199 --> 00:52:46.440
<v Speaker 2>that there's something wrong with us, that we're deficient, that

901
00:52:46.480 --> 00:52:49.199
<v Speaker 2>we're queer. I mean even the word I don't use

902
00:52:49.239 --> 00:52:52.239
<v Speaker 2>the word queer because when I was coming up into

903
00:52:52.599 --> 00:52:55.840
<v Speaker 2>early adulthood, like in the nineties, right, I graduated high

904
00:52:55.840 --> 00:52:58.239
<v Speaker 2>school in ninety two, and I started like going to

905
00:52:58.280 --> 00:53:01.199
<v Speaker 2>gay bars like hit eighteen at like three ninety fourths

906
00:53:01.320 --> 00:53:05.199
<v Speaker 2>unlike that, graduated fromhigh school early, and so and I was,

907
00:53:05.360 --> 00:53:06.800
<v Speaker 2>you know, go to gay bars and hang out with

908
00:53:06.800 --> 00:53:09.599
<v Speaker 2>the gay folks, and like we didn't call ourselves queer

909
00:53:09.639 --> 00:53:12.320
<v Speaker 2>because queer was a slur. That was a bad word.

910
00:53:12.480 --> 00:53:14.840
<v Speaker 2>It was like gay was was like that was a

911
00:53:14.880 --> 00:53:18.280
<v Speaker 2>happy thing. Right, So for me, the word queer is

912
00:53:18.360 --> 00:53:21.440
<v Speaker 2>still like carries the weight of that shame because it

913
00:53:21.480 --> 00:53:23.679
<v Speaker 2>was a curse word. It was a cuss word when

914
00:53:23.719 --> 00:53:25.800
<v Speaker 2>I was you know, coming up and coming up in

915
00:53:25.840 --> 00:53:28.320
<v Speaker 2>the day. So it wasn't it wasn't the word of

916
00:53:28.400 --> 00:53:31.400
<v Speaker 2>liberation that it is now twenty years later, twenty five

917
00:53:31.480 --> 00:53:35.719
<v Speaker 2>years later. So so yeah, like that's such a beautiful point.

918
00:53:35.840 --> 00:53:38.119
<v Speaker 2>Is Like, that's the thing about tontras, as we said

919
00:53:38.119 --> 00:53:41.159
<v Speaker 2>to be to begin with, it's it's not about reinforcing

920
00:53:41.199 --> 00:53:45.039
<v Speaker 2>polarities and opposites and duality. It's about finding that point

921
00:53:45.079 --> 00:53:50.280
<v Speaker 2>of union and also creating balance, creating balance where there's imbalance,

922
00:53:50.320 --> 00:53:53.559
<v Speaker 2>because that's the key to wellness is balance. And so

923
00:53:54.000 --> 00:53:59.599
<v Speaker 2>if we are holding on to this, this this distorted

924
00:53:59.639 --> 00:54:03.159
<v Speaker 2>constant of self that we are somehow wrong and bad

925
00:54:03.239 --> 00:54:07.400
<v Speaker 2>because we don't fit into the magabox, so to speak,

926
00:54:08.400 --> 00:54:11.079
<v Speaker 2>that is an imbalance. That's an imbalance in our psyche,

927
00:54:11.119 --> 00:54:13.760
<v Speaker 2>and that is part of this purification and this healing

928
00:54:13.800 --> 00:54:17.599
<v Speaker 2>that can occur through authentic lineage based huntra, which we

929
00:54:17.679 --> 00:54:20.400
<v Speaker 2>are still teaching, y'all. We're just not certifying in it,

930
00:54:20.440 --> 00:54:22.320
<v Speaker 2>but we are still teaching it, and we have, oh

931
00:54:22.320 --> 00:54:25.760
<v Speaker 2>my god, so many incredible certified practitioners that you can

932
00:54:25.840 --> 00:54:28.559
<v Speaker 2>choose from. You can see them on our website Holistic

933
00:54:28.639 --> 00:54:31.599
<v Speaker 2>Sexology dot com. We're very proud of everybody who has

934
00:54:31.639 --> 00:54:34.920
<v Speaker 2>achieved their certification because it was no joke, and we

935
00:54:34.960 --> 00:54:37.760
<v Speaker 2>are still teaching these methods. Elena and I are still

936
00:54:37.960 --> 00:54:40.320
<v Speaker 2>laying it down and our instructors are still laying it

937
00:54:40.360 --> 00:54:42.239
<v Speaker 2>down for your personal healing. We're not going to take

938
00:54:42.239 --> 00:54:48.360
<v Speaker 2>that away from you. Yeah, yay. So I think the

939
00:54:48.440 --> 00:54:50.199
<v Speaker 2>last thing I want to say on this topic before

940
00:54:50.239 --> 00:54:52.519
<v Speaker 2>we close out is I just want to say that

941
00:54:52.519 --> 00:54:55.920
<v Speaker 2>that for those of us who don't fit in the box,

942
00:54:56.360 --> 00:54:59.920
<v Speaker 2>and for those of you who do identify as queer, trans,

943
00:55:00.320 --> 00:55:06.119
<v Speaker 2>non binary, homosexual, however you identify, I am sorry that

944
00:55:06.199 --> 00:55:08.559
<v Speaker 2>you have not found a home in neotntra. But let's

945
00:55:08.599 --> 00:55:11.519
<v Speaker 2>also just recognize that once again that the roots of

946
00:55:11.599 --> 00:55:15.159
<v Speaker 2>neo Tantra are rooted in colonialism, and there isn't space

947
00:55:15.199 --> 00:55:17.800
<v Speaker 2>for us in colonialism. They tried to fucking wipe us

948
00:55:17.840 --> 00:55:21.519
<v Speaker 2>out right, So I'm just saying, so that's why know

949
00:55:21.559 --> 00:55:24.239
<v Speaker 2>where it comes from. But there is space for you

950
00:55:24.360 --> 00:55:27.000
<v Speaker 2>and authentic lineage based entra, not just our tentra, but

951
00:55:27.039 --> 00:55:29.760
<v Speaker 2>tntra in general. There is space for you and in

952
00:55:29.880 --> 00:55:33.639
<v Speaker 2>real tntra because real entre is for humans. It's for

953
00:55:33.800 --> 00:55:37.760
<v Speaker 2>human beings to actualize their full human potential, which is

954
00:55:38.239 --> 00:55:45.719
<v Speaker 2>ultimate realization. Yeah, yeah, all right, anything else to Slena.

955
00:55:46.599 --> 00:55:48.559
<v Speaker 1>No, that was so wonderful and juicy.

956
00:55:48.800 --> 00:55:52.159
<v Speaker 2>Thank you so much, Davie, Thank you Elena, wondering to

957
00:55:52.159 --> 00:55:55.480
<v Speaker 2>empowers activate. So I'm so grateful and so delighted to

958
00:55:55.480 --> 00:55:58.199
<v Speaker 2>be doing this with you. I love, I love the

959
00:55:58.280 --> 00:56:01.800
<v Speaker 2>wisdom and the essence and the presence and the potency

960
00:56:01.960 --> 00:56:06.000
<v Speaker 2>and the power that you bring. Really really grateful. I'm

961
00:56:06.000 --> 00:56:07.880
<v Speaker 2>grateful to have worked with you for the last you know,

962
00:56:08.039 --> 00:56:12.639
<v Speaker 2>ten years, intimately and intensely and through many many obstacles.

963
00:56:12.679 --> 00:56:15.760
<v Speaker 2>So anyway, that's my love note for Lena. Y'all can

964
00:56:15.840 --> 00:56:18.400
<v Speaker 2>leave leave some love notes for Lena in the comments.

965
00:56:18.440 --> 00:56:20.559
<v Speaker 2>Thank you so much for all your comments. Thank you

966
00:56:20.639 --> 00:56:23.320
<v Speaker 2>so much for all your comments. I'm gonna say it again,

967
00:56:23.400 --> 00:56:25.519
<v Speaker 2>thank you so much for all your comments. We love

968
00:56:25.559 --> 00:56:27.760
<v Speaker 2>responding and thank you. I mean it just it uplifts

969
00:56:27.800 --> 00:56:31.039
<v Speaker 2>us and brings us so much like encouragement. Encouragement when

970
00:56:31.039 --> 00:56:32.960
<v Speaker 2>we know that you like it and we know that

971
00:56:33.039 --> 00:56:36.079
<v Speaker 2>we're like serving you up some good, delicious food, it

972
00:56:36.119 --> 00:56:39.159
<v Speaker 2>makes me want to cook in the kitchen, makes us

973
00:56:39.199 --> 00:56:41.679
<v Speaker 2>want to cook in the kitchen. So thank you really.

974
00:56:41.679 --> 00:56:42.840
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, ah, they's got one more.

975
00:56:42.920 --> 00:56:45.559
<v Speaker 1>Oh and do you want to talk about questions at two?

976
00:56:45.679 --> 00:56:48.199
<v Speaker 2>If? Yeah, yeah, so send us your question so you

977
00:56:48.199 --> 00:56:51.719
<v Speaker 2>can send us your questions at Holistic Sexology Institute dot com.

978
00:56:51.719 --> 00:56:55.920
<v Speaker 2>That's our new website, Holistic Sexology Institute dot com. You

979
00:56:55.960 --> 00:56:59.239
<v Speaker 2>can also, if you aren't already on our Instagram page,

980
00:56:59.280 --> 00:57:02.239
<v Speaker 2>go you our instat ground page Institute of Holistic Sexology

981
00:57:02.400 --> 00:57:04.760
<v Speaker 2>and you can dm us questions, or you can leave

982
00:57:04.800 --> 00:57:06.920
<v Speaker 2>a question on one of our comments and we'll pick

983
00:57:06.960 --> 00:57:08.840
<v Speaker 2>it up. We'll scoop it up. It's best of you.

984
00:57:08.920 --> 00:57:11.719
<v Speaker 2>Dm us questions though, uh so they don't get missed.

985
00:57:11.760 --> 00:57:13.840
<v Speaker 2>We don't want to miss any questions because they're important

986
00:57:13.840 --> 00:57:15.800
<v Speaker 2>and they're valuable and we want to answer them for you.

987
00:57:15.880 --> 00:57:18.360
<v Speaker 2>So dm us your questions on Instagram. Also send us

988
00:57:18.360 --> 00:57:21.519
<v Speaker 2>your questions at Questions at Holistic Sexology Institute dot com

989
00:57:21.760 --> 00:57:23.840
<v Speaker 2>and we're so excited to answer them, and we'll either

990
00:57:23.840 --> 00:57:25.719
<v Speaker 2>answer them on an episode or we'll answer them on

991
00:57:25.760 --> 00:57:27.840
<v Speaker 2>an Instagram video. I had a really good one that

992
00:57:27.880 --> 00:57:30.719
<v Speaker 2>I did. I think last weekend, we had a beautiful

993
00:57:31.519 --> 00:57:35.400
<v Speaker 2>question come in about a transgender woman wanting to know

994
00:57:36.199 --> 00:57:39.280
<v Speaker 2>about if practicing seminarytention you know, is a thing, it

995
00:57:39.280 --> 00:57:43.679
<v Speaker 2>would be a beneficial for them as they you know, transition.

996
00:57:43.960 --> 00:57:46.440
<v Speaker 2>And so there's a wonderful answer to that question, because

997
00:57:46.519 --> 00:57:48.679
<v Speaker 2>these are important things to know, as you know, with

998
00:57:48.840 --> 00:57:52.000
<v Speaker 2>different body parts and different orientations, and how is how

999
00:57:52.079 --> 00:57:54.320
<v Speaker 2>is this how is this energy body yoga going to

1000
00:57:54.360 --> 00:57:57.880
<v Speaker 2>affect you both energetically and physically, We need to know this.

1001
00:57:58.079 --> 00:58:02.159
<v Speaker 2>We need to know all right, my friends, thank you

1002
00:58:02.199 --> 00:58:04.440
<v Speaker 2>so much. We're gonna sign out. See you next week.

1003
00:58:04.519 --> 00:58:07.000
<v Speaker 2>Make sure you like and subscribe, Like and subscribe, comment,

1004
00:58:07.079 --> 00:58:10.599
<v Speaker 2>hit the notification bell all the things Spotify YouTube or

1005
00:58:10.880 --> 00:58:14.400
<v Speaker 2>Spotify iTunes YouTube. That's where we're at. Instagram check us out.

1006
00:58:18.719 --> 00:58:21.599
<v Speaker 1>You've been listening to sex is Medicine, your number one

1007
00:58:21.639 --> 00:58:23.639
<v Speaker 1>resource for holistic sex education.

1008
00:58:24.679 --> 00:58:27.400
<v Speaker 2>Make sure you like and subscribe to Sex's Medicine on

1009
00:58:27.519 --> 00:58:31.039
<v Speaker 2>all your listening platforms, and follow us on Instagram. YouTube

1010
00:58:31.079 --> 00:58:33.559
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1011
00:58:33.679 --> 00:58:37.880
<v Speaker 2>sexes medicine videos and episode recaps. Also, make sure you

1012
00:58:37.960 --> 00:58:42.599
<v Speaker 2>register for your weekly dose of Sex's Medicine at Holisticsexologyinstitute

1013
00:58:42.599 --> 00:58:46.639
<v Speaker 2>dot com and send us your questions please at Questions

1014
00:58:46.639 --> 00:58:50.320
<v Speaker 2>at Holistic Sexology Institute dot com. Thank you so much

1015
00:58:50.360 --> 00:58:53.599
<v Speaker 2>for listening too. Sex is Medicine