I think that that did exist for uh in this million years, and it was lost as soon as we got into large scale civilization. How Uh, it's gouldn't be lay to do that? Is I mean, don't doesn't well need a tribal structure and you're yourself the same so needs. Trying to well, not necessarily you see, we have to explore you see it. We mustn't make assumptions of necessity because they'll trap us. Right if you say we need this it it's it's an assumption. Now that could mean it's impossible that that m. The impossibility may arise from the assumption, right, That's why you would have to watch the assumptions. Now, hey, Uh, the point is, uh, what were suggesting is that we could just get together groups of twenty to forty and see if we can do it, not for the purpose of establishing a group, but for the purpose of exploring communication, right, and if we could, this might be a germ. It would uh You see, I say culture is shared meaning which is now incoherent. But if we uh could do this, we would have a kind of uh see, in the beginning of this group is a microcosm of the whole culture. With all its diversity and well not really diversity of all its incoherence. Ah did you stop it? Andy? Oh, come on, old. M see okay, Uh you were told me about the use of groups. Yes, perhaps you'd like to go on with yes. Uh. Well, you see, I think that if we make a group like this, it starts out as a microcosm of our society and you will have in it all the problems, you know, people fighting over their opinions and defending their ages and so on. Uh, and you have to work through it. I think, Uh it it takes a certain amount of knowledge and skill and uh, somebody a facilitator to help. Uh people who just arbitrary try this or not. People succeed. And the. But I think you can get through it take sustained work, sometimes as much as maybe a year. You see, regularly once a week. What is this? And you're now talking about literally a sort of almost tribes of interest. Tribes of interest. Well, no, they don't have to. We would have a variegated group who haven't They would be interested in dialogue, you see, we would say why are they in dialogue? Because they see the significance of it, they see the value of it. And therefore they form the purpose. It's not to impose the purpose. But if these people can see the significance and value, then they will have the purpose. Right, they will stick. Listen. I'm gonna always bring some of the legendary thought leaders to the voice of reason. That was doctor David Baum, author of Wholeness and the Implicate Order. He was Batman and Robin to Krishna Murty's batman. They did several books together, several lectures together, and they fell out. Oh, they fell out. Uncle Hurty was like, you're too dependent on your wife. That's what he told him. Hurty was like, bruh, where there is real love, there are no needs. Yikes, he was. If i'm your friend, I'm going to tell you the truth. You're too dependent on your wife. David Baum hit back, of course, this is a genius level theoretical physicists, he said, And you're more of a guru, then you would like to mention, because you know, Christiana Murty, I'm not a guru. I'm not a follower. He was like, your followers treat you like a guru, so in fact, you demonstrate guru. And they fell out. I think they got back together, right, near the time, Kay was passing on. But the reason why I'm playing this because I think it's important. He's talking on a macro scale about communication. There's an impasse. He was like, tribal communication. People have their own ideas and agendas, and that leads me to the topic. Precious just be. She's a topic fairy just they just be showing up, like this topic came from last week's discussion and she said one thing, and I wrote it down and developed an entire topic. Tonight's topic. You're listening to Wholeness Wednesdays. You already know it. It is Precious Magill is in the building. She's gonna keep it real. The grill is hot. Tonight's topic, The flow of letting versus the strategy of vetting. All you hear all these relationship folks out here talking about I'll show you how to get a man to pick a man? You ask him these questions. You gotta have these kind of expectations. Listen. The flow of letting versus the strategy of vetting A deeper inquiry into whether consciousness evolves through better partner selection. My boy picker is broke, my woman picker is broke. I hear it all the time. Yes, it can never be broken. Get back. A deeper inquiry into whether consciousness evolves through better partner selection, which some of us have spiritualized and called discernment. Knock it off, okay, I'm sorry, your wound can't be discerning it okay, never mind, or through allowing a new self to be born inside a relationship letting versus vetting. This is deep deeper investigation into whether we have mistake in psychological screening for human transformation. Come on, I'm not done. A deeper investigation into why the wound itself calls it discernment while the emerging self calls it surrender. Eighty get to your phone line, get ready to get ready, to get ready, to get ready, to get ready. Before a child ever learns language, the nervous system begins writing scripture. Wow, and then there's that right. Every race becomes a sentence, Every absence becomes a definition. Yikes. Every inconsistency becomes a prophecy. Long before consciousness asks who am I, survival has already answered, become whoever keeps you connected? One eight hundred nine twenty fifteen eighty. We're gonna get it tonight need performs a miracle, It keeps the infinite alive. Then, unnoticed, the miracle becomes a monarchy. The needs dictate and govern all your choices. They must be fulfilled either by you or somebody else, in preferably somebody else. All the architecture that once served survival quietly begins governing identity. Self worth becomes negotiated, Love becomes verified, Presence becomes performance. Effort becomes evidence. You got to show me, yeah, show me, ah. The first environment does not merely teach relationship. It teaches consciousness on how to interrupt itself. Yes, precious, you started this mass. Yeah, yeah, I did the flow of letting. Why is it that we're so afraid of letting, allowing letting things be? And why do we think we're smart enough to actually vet someone right the wounds? So where do we start? So there are certain spiritual principles that govern this conversation, and the foundational one is allowance and the art of allowing right versus control. And when we are going through the vetting process, we are looking for exclusion criteria or inclusion criteria, and that is a process that doesn't allow for authenticity. Right, I was watching this married. At first sight, and the lady had a criteria that her husband needed to make at least like one hundred and seventy thousand dollars a year, and they matched her with someone who made considerably less. So when she and he had this conversation, she's saying, I know I said that, but I made that a criteria because I thought it was going to get me something. But you're giving me something that I actually need. I wasn't even looking for. That she wasn't even looking for, And that's presence, very emotionally emotionally available to her. So this is a a great example of when you vet sometimes you are excluding someone that has a gift for you, right, And when you allow you get to organically see who a person is. And just because you're hypervigilant, and does it mean you're psychic? And so some people think the wound's legislature, the wound's laws, right, are predictive. Yeah, well, see this is why it's the wound that's actually doing the vetting, telling you you need to have better discernment because then we can get this. Well, you can get that, but it might be cloaking something that you really don't want. To deal with Here's the deal, pickle. The only relationship that you're ever having is the one that you're having with self. So if you have all of these negative experiences, this person is providing the mirror for you to show you what you have left to work on. So each person is a golden teacher. We get upset with them and we really should be looking. To self. But it's hard when self is a scary place. When did self become scary? Well, because we are groomed, socialized to live life in a certain way, and you can see evidence in this if you switch from culture to culture. But the true emergence of self is something that when they say, oh, don't cry, oh don't hold your pen like that. You know they used to tell my daughter she's holding her pen wrong. Listen, she's a genius. Let her hold You want to meet about this, Let her to hold her pen. The way she wants to. She's coloring the wrong. Is that possible? I allowed my. Children to be themselves. I got a lot of flak for it. My daughter is a master of art. Now she has a master's in fine arts, but she didn't need that. She was a master at heart with them. So sorry, she just naturally wasn't is an artist from the jump. I allowed my children to express themselves. So in a dating relationship, you really want to know who a person is. Allow them to be who they are fully. The precious hold on, hold on, that's the right answer, yo. Allow. Yeah, this is the Tao of letting versus the strategy right of betting. So I hear what you said, but let me just throw something out there. Yes, throw it. Wounds are really the bully in the relationship. And if you have an unhealed wound, the wound has an agenda, and then how do we recontextualize that agenda for today's modern relationships? Be intentional? That that is one the wound wants you to be intentional. Right, Intentional should be more about where you are, not with the It shouldn't be your intention shouldn't be governing another person. Right. My intention is to be present, to be open, to bring myself in alignment versus my intention is to find the right person. A lot of times. We are very picky, and we still pick the wrong person. We're hyper visual. Okay, thank you, running back spirit. It's not that we pick the wrong person. We're looking through the wrong lens. Yes, it is yourself. It's more about how you're showing up. Le's about how the other person is showing up. This vetting is really a template for control. And an opportunity to seize it from the wound that's actually doing the picking. Yeah, people are so performative because they want they want to have connection, so they want to know what's on your list. They want to show up in that way. I like authenticity, show me all of you, not so that I can pick, so that we can merge in the way that we're supposed to. Gosh, do you think getting the opposite about how the opposite of how you feel about yourself will make you feel better? This is how we approach relationships. I don't think I'm worthy. Yeah, I don't think I deserve. Then we flip it, yes I deserve, but we don't really believe that we deserve. Belief comes on the receipt of what we are desirous of. Right, I'm saying no, no, no, see a the way you must become what you seek, Well, then you don't have to look nowhere. This is the only way you in seeking, This is the only way you in needing. You become that which you seek. We're there tonight, tonight, we are listen. I had folks in the cigar lounge tonight telling me I wasn't born in sin. I said to me metaphorically, because they was listening to the show last night. Okay, okay, okay. To me metaphorically, the original sin is need, and the only reason why it becomes the sin is because it was a survival mechanism for childhood that you carried into your adulthood. Stay right there, don't go nowhere, Lord have mercy. We on fire already when we come forward more from homeless. Wisdoms are internally related to every thing, not externally related. Consciousness is an internal relationship to the whole. We take in the whole, and we act or the whole, and that internal whatever we have taken in determines basically what we are. Quantum physicist and philosopher David Bohm was profoundly affected by his close contacts with both Einstein and Jay Krishna Murti. Bohm's theory of wholeness and the implicate order states that there is something like life and mind and folded in everything. Well, so see, I think the difficulty is this fragmentation. First of all, everybody is all thought is broken up into bits like this nation, this country, this industry, this profession, and so on, as they can't meet, and it's extremely hard to break into that now. The second, but that comes about primarily because thought has developed traditionally in a way such that it claims not to be affecting anything, but just tell you the way things are. Therefore, people cannot see that they're creating a problem and then apparently trying to solve it. That s let's take the problem. What problem do you like? Pollution or the ecology? See, the ecology is not in itself a problem. It works perfectly well by itself. It's due to us, right, it's a problem because we are thinking in a certain way by breaking everything up in each person's doing his own thing right now, Therefore, the ecological problem is due to thought. Right, But thought thinks it is a problem out there and I must solve it. Now. That doesn't make sense because simultaneously thought is doing all the activities which make the problem, and then there's another set of activities to try to overcome it. You see, it doesn't stop doing the things which are making the ecological problem. Or the national problem or whatever the problem is. The earth is one household. Really, we're not treating it that way, right, So that's the first step in the economics is to say the earth is one household and all that it depends on. It's all one, you see, So now the implicate order would help us to see that, to see everything and fools everything, everybody. Okay, I'm sorry, I know, I let him ride. Doctor David Baum talking about the implicate order. But psychologically speaking, when he's talking about this psychological fragmentation, a psychologist will call that the ego, right, the sense of me. Christianna Murti would call that the center. You think you can discern who your partner is, right, vet them out based on a performance that you've got to buy, because when you buy their performance, you consent to the version of themselves they sold to you. Now, allowance is coming, that's coming from another level of. Consciousness, completely different side of the room. And we're afraid to allow Why logical nudity, vulnerability, openness, all of the things that you mentioned in the first thirty minutes, these are things healed people do, or let me say it in another way, people do. Right, They're not afraid to put themselves directly in alignment with more pain. Talk to me, yeah, this is. You. Ask a question like why do people do this? They're afraid of losing themselves? Stay right there, Okay, they're afraid of losing themselves. Don't lose that. When I come back, I need you to dive deep will into why they're afraid of losing themselves. So why does good sex X so often faid, even for couples who continue to love each other as much as ever? And why does good intimacy not guarantee you good SA contrary to popular belief? Or the next question would be can we want what we already have? That's the million dollar question, right? And why is the forbidden so erotic? What is it about transgression that makes desire so potent? And why does sex make babies and babies spelerotic disaster in couples? The fatal erotic blow, isn't it? And when you love how does it feel? And when you desire how is it different? These are some of the questions that are at the center of my exploration on the nature of erotic desire and its concomitant dilemmas in modern love. So I travel the globe, and what I'm noticing is that everywhere where romanticism has entered, there seems to be a crisis of desire, a crisis of desire as in owning the wanting desire as an expression of our individuality, of our free show of our preferences, of our identity, desire that has become a central concept as part of modern love and individualistic societies. You know, this is the first time in. The history of humankind where we are trying to experience sexuality in the long term, not because we want fourteen children, for which we need to have even more because many of them won't make it, and not because it is exclusively a woman's merital duty. This is the first. Time that we want sex over time about pleasure and connection that is rooted in desire. So what sustains desire and why is it so difficult? And at a heart of sustaining desire in a committed relationship, I think is the reconciliation of two fundamental human needs. On the one hand, our need for security, for predictability, for safety, for dependability, for reliability, for permanence, all these anchoring grounding experiences of our lives that we call home, but we also have an equally strong need men and women for adventure, for novelty, for mystery, for risk. Andy, who was that Esther Perrell? I should have known from the accent and she was cooking. But I would say in the opposite direction, back to anchoring need, right, the need of the other, the need of the person. And this ties us back to what you were talking about when we first came forward, and that is the fear of yourself. Yeah, this self that people fear losing is something that they are building in a linear sense, like you get all this foundational knowledge, going to school, achieving certain things. People are building themselves, but usually in the more that my allergies excuse me. Usually the more you're building, it's away from the true self. This is why a lot of times people make it to the pinnacle of their career and they have a sense of a breakdown, like I've done all these things and I'm still not happy. This is a gift, this feeling of dissatisfaction because there's no more to achieve, but there's something to be And this is usually when people start navigating themselves to I want to just take a year off of work and find the true meaning of life. You the true essence of who you are. This cannot be built, It has to be allowed. It is an emergence of self. And if we look at our relationships in that same way, we will move away from the vetting process and be open to allowing a person to just be themselves. So what does that mean If I'm going on a date with you and I say, hey, I don't like that kind of language, don't curse around me. Okay, fine, you'll. Get the performative self of the person versus if you can't tolerate that type of language, then go be somewhere where they don't speak that way. Allow people to be who they are truly. I'm gonna get married so that I can. Then I'll be good then and I'll just sleep with one person. No, that's not for you, right, You're trying to fit into something in a sense of building yourself to be something instead of allowing who you truly are. Now, strip it all the way down. If I have a strategy, yes for vetting, strip it all the way down to the ground. Yeah, what are you vetting? And for what purpose? Right to receive to fill. A need or to feel safety, to fill that need. Now there's a sister in the KBLA chat. She hasn't She made a statement and we all know here the voice of reason. We accept everybody's thoughts. Jilly Tree. At Jilly Tree in the KBLA chat, she says, so, y'all jealous of Black American women? Right? Does she see the black woman in here? And then she goes on to say, we black women fought for this and we ain't going she said, and we ain't going it up. I don't know what going it up means? This is interesting. I don't know. Can she only see you on the camera? Am I jealous of me? Well, hopefully she can get some coherent questions in the chat and I'll read them. I would definitely love to share this platform with her. But let me just be clear. Allowance is a high consciousness, right, It's a high state of consciousness to allow. Look at how many times you disallow your authentic self from emerging into your conscious mind? Right? Are you vetting different parts of yourself? Right with regards to what you show to another? And if you're doing that to yourself, you will probably inevitably do that to others. Could that not then be a point of contention for conflict to arise in relationships. For sure, for sure, you know it. There's something about having social decorm right, carrying yourself in a certain way so that you can be in social settings. But this isn't what we're talking about. We're talking about relationships. The intimacy of relationships, whether they're interpersonal or romantic, familial, allowing people to be who they are. It is necessary to learn about the ways of society. This is what I'm speaking about decorm so that you can move through society. But we're talking about when you're getting an intimate, intimate relationship, you're looking for somebody that exists off of a list. You're cross referencing a list. Must make this amount of money, must have this amount of education, must be a Christian. You're picking these things because you think they're going to deliver to you a set of circumstances so that you can be happy, and you're going out backwards when you think in those terms. Look for someone that is in vibrational alignment with you, So you have to look at the vibration of who you are right in order to understand that my vibration cannot be captured and put on a list. Listen. You are cooking in such a rarefied way. Like I said, when I listen to you, all these thoughts. Start to come out. Heah, I love that. So one of your main keys is being when we come forward, something in my mind just blew up. As Precious was talking. We're going to share it. On the other side, Terry says, longing for a felt sense of connection is a primary need, especially it comes up when we're threatened. Emotional isolation is inherently traumatizing. This is wide into your nervous system. This is not cultural, This is not about cultural context. This is just who you are as a human being. Basically, connection with others is the best survival strategy we ever came up with as a species. And isn't it interesting? In this virus that's happening, physical connection with others is challenged, But if I trust us, we can still find ways to stay emotionally connected. I don't know if you guys saw this amazing YouTube that's going around of people in Italy standing out on their balconies singing to each other. This warmed my heart. They're singing to each other, only in Italy, with they sing I don't know quite what they do in Canada say oh, dear, would you like some tea or something? But in Italy they sing to each other. They're keeping the emotional connection because emotional isolation primes helplessness. In us, safe haven connection calms our nervous system, gives us emotional balance and tells us that distress is manageable. So then we can stay engaged with that distress. We can find a way through it, rather than avoiding it, shutting it down, fighting it. Whoever these people think they are, they not? Who was that Andy Sue Sue Johnson. Okay, it's clinically sound, it's clinically accurate. But there was something that Sue said. There are people on the balcony singing to each other. They're experiencing connection. What was the criteria for them to be on the balcony. It's just flow, It's just connection, right. This is a better indicator of how well will get along. If you sit down and you have a blind conversation and you get on very well with someone and there is no performance, it's just flow, right, You're feeling the heart, the soul of the person. You're gonna mess it up if you start asking them the education level, have they been incarcerated, do they smoke? Do they drink? Because these things have something to do with their choices, right, And what we really are seeking is connection. I get to meet people from all over the world, every walk of life, different experiences, and we are in session, heart to heart, whether they're virtual or in my office. And it's no judgment. I don't even need to know a lot of the stuff that you do and. Precious for people who are just tuning in, Yes, tell them what is the topic because we just you know how we do. We pulled. Yes, tell them what we've been talking about. We're basically talking about the difference of allowing flow in connection with someone versus the need for our wound to vet people because it is the wound. I know that's not the. Exact name or title of the topic, but it is the wound that is doing the vetting. You cook it right. We're bringing people up to speed with where we are going into our second hour. The wound is the one that needs you to have X, Y and Z because this is going to keep you safe. You can find X, Y and Z, it's still not going to bring you peace. So the flow of letting versus the strategy of vetting. That's it. That's ladies and gentlemen, you've just tuned into the second hour of the Voice of Reason and precious and I are in here trip it tonight because I know it's counterintuitive to what you were taught. And I'm listening to the clinician Sue Johnson, that was just speaking. And it's not that she's clinically incongruent, right, she's in alignment with the teaching. I'm saying the teaching is wrong. Right, I'm saying the teaching is wrong because guess what we want? Connection? No one ever said why do we want connection? Right? Well, why does separation exist? Connection implies disconnection? Right? Is it union? Is it communion? Like, why do we need connection? Why do needs exist at all? Talk to people, Well, it's that it's not that we need connection. It's a part of our design to be connected. Right, So we're going to connect whenever in order for us not to connect with other people, we will be in isolation. Okay, so this is something that is also a part of that flow. But a lot of times we build a design around what we need or think we need because we think it's going to deliver us a set of circumstances. But the reality is is when you allow the flow with people are afraid to flow because they're like, I don't want to make a mistake. You're gonna make a mistake. You're human. And when you are engaging the spirit, you will get divine intervention on how to operate. Whether it be like for me, I will get people will have a certain smell to me and it communicates information, you know, So if I smell that smell, I know what that means. Right, that means halt or the spirit will put me in a position where I'm not able to connect with that person again. So you're trying to protect yourself and that's God's job. So allow God to do its job. You stop trying to play God and allow yourself to be with the person authentically and see how you guys vibrate together in or out. Are you saying somebody who's a control freak is trying to play God in relationships? Oh, if you control freak, you're trying to play God period in and out of relationships. It's like going to your friends to see what they think. You are messing yourself up. This is not your friend's relationship. Do you not have a mind of your own? Do you not feel your spirit? Do you not. Trust the God in you enough to inform you that you have to go ask somebody so that you can go in and out? That reminds me of Quincy Jones. He said, you want to see He said, you want to make God leave the room. Hmmm, the room of your life. Try to control everything, that's it, he said. God is your co pilot for life, and the moment you try to control everything, he'll leave you in the cockpit of your life by yourself. You do you listen when we come forward? For some reason, we gonna keep cooking. We got an hour number two coming up. Hello everyone, welcome to Soul Sessions with Creative Mind. I'm Deba Bhah Maldonado. I'm here with doctor Rob Maldonado and we have a special guest on our podcast today, Doctor James hollis author of many books Young and Analysts, and we're so excited to share that interview. But before we begin, I would love for you to click the button here on the corner if you're watching us on YouTube, to subscribe to our channel, so you did not miss an episode. So we had an incredible interview with doctor Hollis. Yeah, well it's a dream come true for me. You know, we always half jokingly ask ourselves if this was a dream, how would we interpret this for us? Doctor Hollis represents the archetypal man of knowledge, holding up the lamp of wisdom so that everyone can find their true path. So it's a special interview that we did. And he's just full of wisdom, so generous with his time, so willing to share his knowledge of Youngian psychology. So thank you for tuning in. And I had many many goosebumps during that interview, So we can't wait for you to hear it. So it's coming right now. I may not have anything to do with making you wealthy or successful and by social standards, but it's something in you that is imperious, that's demanding, that is wishing expression, and it's about becoming who you are, and that's why we're here in the first place. Each of us is a tiny chip in a large mosaic, and we may feel insignificant times, but then you take those chips away, and what is the mosaic? It's deprived. So intividuation is simply a word for the natural developmental process that's built into us genetically, Yes, and struggle to recover a relationship to it and to serve that rather than you know, serve whatever the environmental demands might be at any given moment. Absolutely, how do we do this? I mean, given that we know now there's a strong genetic component right to behavior. The behavioral genetics has given us a different perspective than in Jung's time of what forces are shaping our personality. So we have a behavioral. Genetics, We have epigenetics now, our understanding of how our forefathers experiences are passed down to us and how we inherit those processes. And also of course the powerful force of conditioning the things we experience in our families and in our culture. Andy, who is that my friend? Because they were cooking. James Hollis was cooking once they led him. That mosaic is the connection that I speak was speaking. Of, Yeah, they were cooking. Tonight's topic is a really big and ambitious topic, and I think it's important that I reframe it so you guys can get a grasp of what we're talking about. Vetting, the strategic vetting that many of us do, that we recontextualize as discernment versus the way and the flow of allowing. The reason why I'm doing this topic is because I'm not gonna push back, but I'm going to give some some context from my perspective. I think need is for the youth, for babies, for infants, for children. But I think we outgrow now, that's only if we do what the good doctor was talking about, and that's individuation. All of the ancient societies and cultures had a mystery system of spirituality that got you out of your ego, that got you out of your mind, that got you into a conscious stratum of oneness. When you're unhealed, oneness becomes pathological loneliness. Do you see? So, as long as the survival mechanism of need is turned on, there will be clinging, there will be desire. I need this, I need there. Do you understand all of the ancients knew you know, there's a pathway, Whether it's in the Hebrew Bible when they talk about Jacob's ladder and the angel was coming up and down the ladder, that's your spinal cord. You were talking about being in the last hour well, the ancient cometants, you know what the end of it is, or the whole desire for the ancient cometants through there, through the teachings of you know what the end was supposed to be. Every pharaoh desired to become a star. This is where Hollywood gets the concept of being a star, right, But what does a star do? B our Son has been being and beaman. There's not a lot of doing. It's being. Do you see the ancient Egyptians knew that it was like no, we going to Osiris, which later became serious b which you understand what I'm saying, That's what they were trying to say. I believe that Western psychology has framed it in such a way that need is a lifelong thing. And this is what Krishna Murty was telling doctor David Baum. He was saying, No, once you become love, once you embody the higher consciousness, the whole pursuing and bonding and connecting, there's no disconnection when you tap into God. There's only disconnection when you tap into Ego. Yes, when you tap into unhealed wounds. So that leads me back to tonight's topic. What is it letting versus vetting. The flow of allowance. Yes, Doctor David R. Hawkins talks about allowing very high level of consciousness, Yes, very high. In order to be vulnerable, you must allow, You must be open, You must be in the moment. The strategy of vetting is connected to what I'm getting and are you suitable to give it? And will there be any interruptions in the supply chain, because now I'm gonna demote you if there are. Perhaps this is why so many adults call it discernment, while living almost entirely inside of inherited conclusions. They believe they are evaluating another human being. Yet every act of vetting first passes through an invisible inheritance that predates their own memory. The mother room, that first room that cultivated who you think you are. It doesn't mean your mother was bad. She might have missed an opportunity here and there, and you may have metabolized it in some way that might not be good. What is a maladaptive? Maybe right, the mother room has already translated reality before reality has had even had an opportunity to speak. Perhaps every wisdom tradition has been circling this same mystery from different horizons Jung. Carl Jung asked whether we remain possessed by what we refuse to see hmm. Krish Na Murti questioned whether observation can exist without conclusion. Put that in modern day relationship, we it's gotta be a conclusion. The Tao refuses to force the river because the river never forgot how to become the ocean. Woo way, the Woo way, the Woo way, the woo wo woo, the woo wo whoop. The woo way suggests that life's deepest intelligence appears when compulsion releases its grip. Attachment theory describes the earliest architecture through which safety becomes internalized. Everybody's talking about safety in relationships, and nobody is talking about how to cultivate it within their own being precious? Why is that the case? Please help me understand. Well, most of what we are taught is to look outward. It's not until you get into a state of allowance, but before you allow you have to be Because when I start to talk about people to being to people, they're like, well I need to know what I need to do. Now you're looking at it. You have to turn inwards and just be be still. You mean like the sun. Yeah, you just the right. The sun is being but it is not inactive. It's active. It activates all of our solar system. Probably the oldest symbol of God in the universe that we know of is the sun. Yeah, that we know of, you know. But it's this. You have to first be willing to not know. That's your first step, right, and this is where people get afraid and they get ANTSI so that is also where the void enters. Move past that void, you're not you don't need to know. You just have to be willing to allow the emergence of self. So allowance is not seeking to arrive at a conclusion. So when we translate that back into so what is this? What are we doing right? What? What? What is this? I think I had this sounds last week. Now and it's you know, I don't care what you call it or what it looks like. You don't get to what it actually is until you allow yourself to be present and allow your partner or. Whoever to be Then you get to see what the truth is. And I know people think like, oh, well, these two must sit in a closet and meditate all the time. No, I'm single ish. No, thanks to what you don't know that was gay, I'm single. Ish and. It's the perfect ground for being what I am speaking of. So that means that a lot of times I don't know. I don't pretend to know either, But what I do know is what I am being, and I'm only allowing those things in my environment that are vibrationally in alignment with my being. Let's take it down to the marianas trench. Wounds gotta know, uh huh, they know everything. Wounds gotta know. And even when they don't know, you better know. Wounds are demanding. Wounds command nothing. Presence is command. Wounds are dmond. Yes, and that's what you said, and you promised, and you were supposed to and I believed. Yeah. Wah. All of that energy focused on the external. As you so eloquently pointed out, what happens if you turn it back into self and you start generating all of the things that are required of your person, you will find that those expectations of your person are no longer necessary for them to bring to you because you embody them. So when we start vetting people, who's doing the vetting right? The wounds always the wound, because that the the awakening of who you are. The emergence of who you are recognizes God inside of self as well as God inside of the other. And so if you're looking for God inside of the other, what's your criteria? Oh, take it deeper. If I know God is in me, which allows me to see God in you, then where's the separation between us? Oh? So we're back to oneness. So when you elevate the consciousness, you get to oneness. But when the consciousness is not elevated, stifled, now you're in loneliness. This is where the wound. That's why there's always gimme, gimme, gimme what you're gonna show up with. D you see unhealed? I need healed. I have because I am Exodus three fourteen. Speak on it. And what people do when they're in that space is they start building a new list because they're gonna pick better next time, versus just releasing allowing. It really is like a Jedi mind trick. You know, when you focus on the self, when you allow the emergency of self, things. Start to float in your direction. You don't have to go get it, you don't have to be in a space where you go, it shows up like wow, here we go. Every person that you meet is a teacher. Only if you're willing to learn. That's the only way you get taught. Uh. The Kabalian states, when the student is ready. The teacher appears. See. Somebody told me today, what are you doing to help these youngsters? You better get out there and teach these youngsters. I said, no, I only teach by invite. Yet do you know that a lot of times what a highly spiritually awakened meaning a person has maintenance. They've been doing this for a while. They build their spiritual energy. It is your being that edifies your environment. People will receive healing from you being. And it's not always bad. By watching you you wherever you're living, you're raising the vibration. This is how energy works. Versus I need to go and write on something and teach people what it is that I'm doing so they'll catch on you. All you have to do is be. It will vibrate you to where you need to be. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, if every really being? Oh, I love it, I love it, I love it. We hey, we write up against the clock. We got callers to one eight nine, twenty fifteen eighty. I would love to hear from everybody across the country. Let's talk about it. If every relationship must first pass through your pattern before it reaches your heart, has your pattern become your actual spouse? See, people don't want me to talk the way I want to talk. Your pattern is your partner, and the physical manifestation or the mirror of your pattern becomes someone that has to fit into that pattern. And if they don't fit, guess what onto that? Let me say it again. If every relationship on to the next that looks just like the last. How about that? Just change your clothes. If every relationship must first pass through your pattern before it reaches your heart, has your pattern become your spouse? This is strategic vetting so I can secure and protect the wound. Right, if your partner or if your patterns possessed, has possessed veto power over every person you've ever loved? Why have you continue? You'd calling your romantic history your choices instead of your conditioned selections. That's it, Your conditioning is choosing. Listen, when we come forward, we got callers. Were gonna let Precious talk to these callers. Y'all want to talk to precious. Now is the time to do it. One eight hundred nine twenty fifteen eighty. I come from the unconscious, which literally is unconscious, the part of us that we do not know in ourselves, the part that can betray us and the situations that we would gladly be out of, the part that can push us way beyond what our ego would want to do, and the part in fact that our ego cannot control without some kind of discipline and learning how to dialogue with the unconscious force. The dream is like a picture of the unconscious taken from the from the nightly point of view. In other words, what you do during the day is mirrored in the dreams from the unconscious position at night, so that it will appear in consciousness from the ego position in the dream, from the soul position. So what we try to do in union analysis is set up a dialogue between conscious and unconscious. If experience is not coming from the body, it is not known. You can say I know I am going to die from my head. It's something totally different to be told that you've got six months to live, and it's coming from the body that knows it is going to die, so that, from my point of view, to work with dreams strictly from the head is to end up with knowledge that is not necessarily going to change your life. You wait a minute. I see where she's going. The language is a litlaft, but I see where she's going. She's saying, articulation is not actualization. Correct, That's why she said it has to happen in the body. She's actually describing the TikTok universe with all these people who know the right words, they got the therapy speak together, they can articulate their attachment style, right, and then they identify with it and it's like a zodiac sign to them now, right. But she's saying, when you gotta confront being a dismissive avoidant and somebody show, oh you real intimacy and love and what's happening in your body is saying retreat, Get the hell up out of here. This is your defense mechanism. This is what you use to survive your home. And this person has triggered you. Can you live in the trigger without judging the trigger, without condemning the feeling, Embrace the feeling with empathy, sympathy, love, compassion, without verdict, can you do that? See if you don't know how to do that in a relationship with someone else, is it a damn relationship at all? Right? Right? Right? In fact, I have been pretty vocal about engaging in that very process, not only entertaining the things that I looked for, right, I had to allow indifference, or I had to go through the process right to it, and I allowed it consciously. I was very conscious about allowing that process. And it's not an easy one because if people are not showing up the way you want them to, right, this usually will be a cause for me to be like, Okay, well I just won't deal with this. That's not the same thing as vibrating in alignment comes that's different. That's rejecting a person's behavior. What I've been intentional about is even allowing behaviors none that are disrespectful, because that's something different, you know, the name abuse, that's what I should say, abuse, No abuse, you know. But things that were not have not been ideal for what I typically would have gone for. I had to. I've allowed myself to experience them and being choiceless in how I move come on choicely and even though I tried to make choices. I still went back with the soul's lesson and it's it's given me some really great lessons. I love it. I love it. Ladies and gentlemen, you're listening to the voice of reason wholeness Wednesday, Precious Migil, she's on the grill. Listen if you want to talk to her. All you gotta do is call us at one eight hundred and nine twenty fifteen eighty when we come back from the other side. As we move forward, we're gonna go to Denver, Colorado. Okay, good morning. This today is Lenoida fourteenth, the year two thousand and fourth. Yeah. In the Dear Park Monastery during our winter retreat last week, we learn they gota I have it. I I am home. In the here, in the now, I am solid, I am free in the ultimate. I grow. And this attack can be used for sitting meditation, can be used for walking meditation. When you stand, you can also practice I have r I'm home. And when you lie down you can also practice I have a right, I'm home. At the end of the day, you like to to to rest. That was your favorite Yes, chicken out hand, mindfulness, the practice of being present, yes, absolutely. And that's one of our far Eastern brothers, and a lot of modern day psychology is starting to pull from this mindfulness concept. But he sounded like an Asian version of a seventies soul record. The way he was talking, it was like get ready baby. I love the way he. Had a smooth, little approach to him. I loved it. Yes, yes, but he was right on point, right on the money. In order to get into flow state, there must be a state of mindfulness. Yes, and mindfulness is just another term for awareness. But that awareness can't be called awareness if evaluation or judgment is a part of it. Correct, It's about being. A lot of people don't know how to flow, yeah, but they know how to go. Yeah. Like how he said, when you stand up, you have arrived home. That's where you are. That is your home. Yes, well we got callers, let's get him in here, do it. I want to apologize for Cali's soul. She should have been on a segment ago, but we get caught up. Cali sold Denver, Colorado, get in here. What are your thoughts on tonight's topic? First of all, shout out to stick my han. Yes, y'all like him? Oh Man Ti is he's amazing. When I first started my meditation practicing, I could not sit still to save my life. It was he was like the first person that taught me about the concept of like anything that I do can be a meditation. I can talk walking ooh, girls like oh okay, and now I actually can't sit still on the christ Yeah, but y'all topic today is on points so much and I am a recovering control freak. Wh yes, so thet the difference between vetting and letting, Like, that's a concept that I have. Those are concepts that I have looked at like the past three to four years in my life, and I oh, I was a serial vetter and it causes a lot of grief because you got this checklist, and if they don't put in a checklist, you're like, Okay, let me move around a little bit. Whereas the concept of letting has bought for so many like holy encounters in my life. Indeed, so much freedom, so much peace, And I love that y'all like to remind us that anytime we're experiencing conflict in our mind, to check in with our body and see where is it in your body? Yeah? And I noticed with this activity of letting and slow, Like my shoulders just in my general life have dropped. I think my shoulders I must have carried them up by my ears before. So yeah, letting it really is a beautiful thing. And I would invite people out there if you haven't tried to move in that space of just letting life slow, just try it, because it really does feel different that there's no answer to it if you're doing it properly, and if you're starting the feeling, that's that control and that betting, like tapping you on the shoulder, like you know, we shouldn't just be chilling like this, we should we should pull out our checklist. Yeah, see check home. Yeah see see you said. It, love it, love it, Cali Soul. Guess what you just did? Sweethell right? Brought them into the house. He Denver. Yes, if you want to bring your city in a building, fifteen eighty Denver, Colorado in the building. We got another caller on the line. Let's get her in here. Alexis from Long Beach, California, LBC. You already know what's gonna go down. What are your thoughts on tonight's topic? Hey, family, Hey, hey, hey, I think tonight's topic is great. I also think it's relatable. I have a question, yes, to know at what point do you say? Okay? I don't judge. I'm not a control freak, but I don't wish to participate. Is there a way to properly identify your wounds through the lens the mirror that your partner is holding up to you step back from the commitment and do your homework on your own isolation. Is there a way to heal and go on a solo individual journey while physically departing from connection as a whole without it being considered like running away or being considered an avoiding If that makes sense. So to be. Okay, okay? She asked a heavy question. Yeah, we gotta let her still in't it? We're gonna answer it. On the other side, ladies and gentlemen, Alexis is trying to start. Man. It was the dead of winter in Saint Louis and I was completing my fellowship in psychology when I had purchased my first brand new car on nineteen eighty seven, Toyota Celica. I was so excited to be able to afford my first new car, this white, shiny sports car. It was my prize possession in the middle of the night. Yeah, I know he's gonna cook, but I've got callers and I don't have time for his Toyota Selica story. Who was that, Indy? I'm sorry, Tony Ferreddy. We'll holler back at you tomorrow because guess who's coming on tomorrow? Who? Doctor Alan Berger? Oh? Yes, okay, our author. Of Emotional Sobriety will be in studio. I wanted to catch that. It's about to be lit. Just get back to Alexis down in an LBC. Yes, Alexis, you're there. Yes, I am. Now just tell me that question again because it was quite profound and I want Precious to address it. Yeah. So the question is this, when you're in connection and your partner is doing what they're supposed to do, they trigger you, right, they have their invisible Europe and they're showing you your wounds. Is it possible that rather than continuing to participate in the connection, that you can actually pivot and separate and still do that same healing in isolation mode. So you have to participate. So the answer is yes, you can. And if you want to look at this from an awakened elevated awakened state. You don't have to make any choices. You can recognize that the way they're showing up is triggering you, and then you can focus on that work. Stay focused on the spirit. It's you don't ever have to leave anyone. You can just keep vibrating, focused on the spirit. It will take you where you need to go. They may do you a favor and leave you no take sometimes Now, well, I mean you could look at it that way, but this concept of working on like for example, you know me, well, I left my last marriage, right, if I would have been in a higher state of consciousness, I would not have left. I would have just stayed focused on the spirit and allow things to go as they may, participating in the things that I feel called to. This whole leaving does not have to happen. People will go where they need to go. Right, stay focused on the spirit. But I would ask the question I have a question for you, alexis why why would you want to leave? If it wasn't like abusive, but it was triggering. So we take abuse off the table. If abuses on the table, get the hell out of there. Don't ask questions. Now there's no abuse but yet you still want to leave because you're triggered. Why why do you want to leave. I'm at the point in my life now where connections are becoming less and less romantic and more about the spiritual aspect. I'm looking at it less about romanticism, and I'm seeing people as spiritual lessons. Yeah, so when you look at an connection as more of not to make it sound like that, but like an assignment. Right, that person is my teacher, really, whether they know it or not. Sometimes they're teaching me through really positive experiences, and sometimes they're teaching me through very negative experiences. And a lot of times they're not aware of this, but I know what it is. You know what I mean. So that person, that's their contract. This is a contractual agreement. And once they've served their purpose, they're now a catalyst. And they served their purpose and now it's up to me to do what I need to do. So it's about me and what I'm supposed to be doing and less about them. So when you think about it that way, it's less about what I need to do with you and me smiling in your face and being around you, and it's about me and how I need to work through this energy and how I need to heal the things that you brought up and stirred up within me. That's really where I'm not with this, So just why It's not about a fight or flight type of feelings for me right now. It's more so about, oh my God, thank you for showing me what I need to work on. Let me go do that. So just do the work better the. Next time I show up, you know what I mean? Yeah, do the work and don't You don't have to be in secret about it, be honest about how you're showing up. Yeah, I'm not feeling that I'm going to do this and I eventually am moving in this way. Just stay focused on the other thing, because like, if it's safe, it's someone that you're in relationship and then they start cheating, right, I'm gonna break up. I'm gonna leave you. Yeah, before you start focusing on that, focus on yourself. What is this bringing up for you? What is it that God is saying to you? What does God have for you that will journey you to where you need to go. Now, if there's a marriage here, of course there are certain steps that need to be taken. But fighting and all this exercises and futility. Stay focused on the spirit right and if you're not in a committed relationship with someone, you really don't have a. Big speech that you need to make. Just stay focused. You know, you know you don't have to do a speech. Is crazy? I love it, It's true. But they still want to hear from you. That's the problem that that really is. Yeah, it's easy for me to disconnect, it's not so easy for them. And then, you know, when you got the good energy, it's not. You know, but the spirit, you turn it over to their Yeah. Alexis, guess what you just did, sweetheart. Baby, I done brought long beats all up and through there. In the building. I love it. I love it, I love it. Today was fun. Today was great. You have you lifted my spirits. To a I love you brother, Yes, yes, this was I. Love you too, sister, Thank you. This was powerful. Precious, I need folk to go see you. How do they come see you? How do they pull up? Well, you just go to with precious dot com. And I know it's working because your listeners aren't calling me. With Precious dot com, you can even schedule yourself or submit an inquiry for an appointment, or you can go to at Phenomenal Change, at Phenomenal Underscore Change on ig and if you go to Facebook, I'm just phenomenal chain. I love it, I love it. Please go to with Precious dot com. I have some questions. If embodiment never ask permission from your past, right, why does your past continue demanding permission from your future? God, if every tomorrow must first receive approval from yesterday, at what point did memory quietly become your highest authority instead of reality. Suppose your greatest relationship fear has never been abandonment. Suppose it has always been the death of the identity abandonment created. Which loss are you actually protecting? So you think you're discerning, you think you're vetting. But if you haven't, and I always say this, won some internal self wars, cast out your own demons, performed a self exorcism. You're going to be in a state of some kind of dependence. You're going to be depending on them to make you happy, on them to make you feel like you're worth it. I'm telling you, if listen, we start the conversations. It's up to you to finish the. Voice of reason and Precious in another holeness with stay with Fireworks. I'll be back tomorrow with another slapper. I love y'all, See you tomorrow, Dudeeez