Speaker 1: I think that that did exist for uh in this
million years, and it was lost as soon as we
got into large scale civilization.
Speaker 2: How Uh, it's gouldn't be lay to do that? Is
I mean, don't doesn't well need a tribal structure and
you're yourself the same so needs.
Speaker 1: Trying to well, not necessarily you see, we have to
explore you see it. We mustn't make assumptions of necessity
because they'll trap us. Right if you say we need
this it it's it's an assumption. Now that could mean
it's impossible that that m. The impossibility may arise from
the assumption, right, That's why you would have to watch
the assumptions. Now, hey, Uh, the point is, uh, what
were suggesting is that we could just get together groups
of twenty to forty and see if we can do it,
not for the purpose of establishing a group, but for
the purpose of exploring communication, right, and if we could,
this might be a germ. It would uh You see,
I say culture is shared meaning which is now incoherent.
But if we uh could do this, we would have
a kind of uh see, in the beginning of this
group is a microcosm of the whole culture. With all
its diversity and well not really diversity of all its incoherence.
Speaker 3: Ah did you stop it? Andy? Oh, come on, old.
Speaker 2: M see okay, Uh you were told me about the
use of groups. Yes, perhaps you'd like to go on
with yes. Uh.
Speaker 1: Well, you see, I think that if we make a
group like this, it starts out as a microcosm of
our society and you will have in it all the problems,
you know, people fighting over their opinions and defending their
ages and so on. Uh, and you have to work
through it. I think, Uh it it takes a certain
amount of knowledge and skill and uh, somebody a facilitator
to help. Uh people who just arbitrary try this or not.
People succeed.
Speaker 2: And the.
Speaker 1: But I think you can get through it take sustained work,
sometimes as much as maybe a year. You see, regularly
once a week.
Speaker 2: What is this? And you're now talking about literally a
sort of almost tribes of interest.
Speaker 3: Tribes of interest.
Speaker 1: Well, no, they don't have to. We would have a
variegated group who haven't They would be interested in dialogue,
you see, we would say why are they in dialogue?
Because they see the significance of it, they see the
value of it. And therefore they form the purpose. It's
not to impose the purpose. But if these people can
see the significance and value, then they will have the purpose. Right,
they will stick.
Speaker 3: Listen. I'm gonna always bring some of the legendary thought
leaders to the voice of reason. That was doctor David Baum,
author of Wholeness and the Implicate Order. He was Batman
and Robin to Krishna Murty's batman. They did several books together,
several lectures together, and they fell out. Oh, they fell out.
Uncle Hurty was like, you're too dependent on your wife.
That's what he told him. Hurty was like, bruh, where
there is real love, there are no needs. Yikes, he was.
If i'm your friend, I'm going to tell you the truth.
You're too dependent on your wife. David Baum hit back,
of course, this is a genius level theoretical physicists, he said,
And you're more of a guru, then you would like
to mention, because you know, Christiana Murty, I'm not a guru.
I'm not a follower. He was like, your followers treat
you like a guru, so in fact, you demonstrate guru.
And they fell out. I think they got back together, right,
near the time, Kay was passing on. But the reason
why I'm playing this because I think it's important. He's
talking on a macro scale about communication. There's an impasse.
He was like, tribal communication. People have their own ideas
and agendas, and that leads me to the topic. Precious
just be. She's a topic fairy just they just be
showing up, like this topic came from last week's discussion
and she said one thing, and I wrote it down
and developed an entire topic. Tonight's topic. You're listening to
Wholeness Wednesdays. You already know it. It is Precious Magill
is in the building. She's gonna keep it real. The
grill is hot. Tonight's topic, The flow of letting versus
the strategy of vetting. All you hear all these relationship
folks out here talking about I'll show you how to
get a man to pick a man? You ask him
these questions. You gotta have these kind of expectations. Listen.
The flow of letting versus the strategy of vetting A
deeper inquiry into whether consciousness evolves through better partner selection.
My boy picker is broke, my woman picker is broke.
I hear it all the time. Yes, it can never
be broken. Get back. A deeper inquiry into whether consciousness
evolves through better partner selection, which some of us have
spiritualized and called discernment. Knock it off, okay, I'm sorry,
your wound can't be discerning it okay, never mind, or
through allowing a new self to be born inside a
relationship letting versus vetting. This is deep deeper investigation into
whether we have mistake in psychological screening for human transformation.
Come on, I'm not done. A deeper investigation into why
the wound itself calls it discernment while the emerging self
calls it surrender. Eighty get to your phone line, get
ready to get ready, to get ready, to get ready, to
get ready. Before a child ever learns language, the nervous
system begins writing scripture. Wow, and then there's that right.
Every race becomes a sentence, Every absence becomes a definition. Yikes.
Every inconsistency becomes a prophecy. Long before consciousness asks who
am I, survival has already answered, become whoever keeps you connected?
One eight hundred nine twenty fifteen eighty. We're gonna get
it tonight need performs a miracle, It keeps the infinite alive. Then, unnoticed,
the miracle becomes a monarchy. The needs dictate and govern
all your choices. They must be fulfilled either by you
or somebody else, in preferably somebody else. All the architecture
that once served survival quietly begins governing identity. Self worth
becomes negotiated, Love becomes verified, Presence becomes performance. Effort becomes evidence.
You got to show me, yeah, show me, ah. The
first environment does not merely teach relationship. It teaches consciousness
on how to interrupt itself. Yes, precious, you started this mass.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I did the flow of letting.
Speaker 3: Why is it that we're so afraid of letting, allowing
letting things be? And why do we think we're smart
enough to actually vet someone right the wounds?
Speaker 4: So where do we start?
Speaker 5: So there are certain spiritual principles that govern this conversation,
and the foundational one is allowance and the art of
allowing right versus control. And when we are going through
the vetting process, we are looking for exclusion criteria or
inclusion criteria, and that is a process that doesn't allow
for authenticity.
Speaker 4: Right, I was watching this married.
Speaker 5: At first sight, and the lady had a criteria that
her husband needed to make at least like one hundred
and seventy thousand dollars a year, and they matched her
with someone who made considerably less. So when she and
he had this conversation, she's saying, I know I said that,
but I made that a criteria because I thought it
was going to get me something. But you're giving me
something that I actually need.
Speaker 3: I wasn't even looking for.
Speaker 5: That she wasn't even looking for, And that's presence, very
emotionally emotionally available to her. So this is a a
great example of when you vet sometimes you are excluding
someone that has a gift for you, right, And when
you allow you get to organically see who a person is.
Speaker 3: And just because you're hypervigilant, and does it mean you're psychic?
And so some people think the wound's legislature, the wound's laws, right,
are predictive.
Speaker 5: Yeah, well, see this is why it's the wound that's
actually doing the vetting, telling you you need to have
better discernment because then we can get this. Well, you
can get that, but it might be cloaking something that
you really don't want.
Speaker 4: To deal with Here's the deal, pickle.
Speaker 5: The only relationship that you're ever having is the one
that you're having with self. So if you have all
of these negative experiences, this person is providing the mirror
for you to show you what you have left to
work on. So each person is a golden teacher. We
get upset with them and we really should be looking.
Speaker 4: To self.
Speaker 3: But it's hard when self is a scary place. When
did self become scary?
Speaker 5: Well, because we are groomed, socialized to live life in
a certain way, and you can see evidence in this
if you switch from culture to culture. But the true
emergence of self is something that when they say, oh,
don't cry, oh don't hold your pen like that. You
know they used to tell my daughter she's holding her
pen wrong. Listen, she's a genius. Let her hold You
want to meet about this, Let her to hold her pen.
Speaker 3: The way she wants to.
Speaker 4: She's coloring the wrong. Is that possible? I allowed my.
Speaker 5: Children to be themselves. I got a lot of flak
for it. My daughter is a master of art. Now
she has a master's in fine arts, but she didn't
need that. She was a master at heart with them.
So sorry, she just naturally wasn't is an artist from
the jump. I allowed my children to express themselves. So
in a dating relationship, you really want to know who
a person is. Allow them to be who they are fully.
Speaker 3: The precious hold on, hold on, that's the right answer, yo. Allow. Yeah,
this is the Tao of letting versus the strategy right
of betting. So I hear what you said, but let
me just throw something out there.
Speaker 4: Yes, throw it.
Speaker 3: Wounds are really the bully in the relationship. And if
you have an unhealed wound, the wound has an agenda,
and then how do we recontextualize that agenda for today's
modern relationships? Be intentional?
Speaker 5: That that is one the wound wants you to be intentional. Right,
Intentional should be more about where you are, not with
the It shouldn't be your intention shouldn't be governing another person.
Speaker 6: Right.
Speaker 5: My intention is to be present, to be open, to
bring myself in alignment versus my intention is to find
the right person.
Speaker 4: A lot of times.
Speaker 5: We are very picky, and we still pick the wrong person.
We're hyper visual. Okay, thank you, running back spirit. It's
not that we pick the wrong person. We're looking through
the wrong lens. Yes, it is yourself. It's more about
how you're showing up. Le's about how the other person
is showing up. This vetting is really a template for control.
Speaker 3: And an opportunity to seize it from the wound that's
actually doing the picking.
Speaker 5: Yeah, people are so performative because they want they want
to have connection, so they want to know what's on
your list. They want to show up in that way.
I like authenticity, show me all of you, not so
that I can pick, so that we can merge in
the way that we're supposed to.
Speaker 3: Gosh, do you think getting the opposite about how the
opposite of how you feel about yourself will make you
feel better? This is how we approach relationships. I don't
think I'm worthy. Yeah, I don't think I deserve. Then
we flip it, yes I deserve, but we don't really
believe that we deserve. Belief comes on the receipt of
what we are desirous of. Right, I'm saying no, no, no,
see a the way you must become what you seek, Well,
then you don't have to look nowhere.
Speaker 5: This is the only way you in seeking, This is
the only way you in needing. You become that which
you seek.
Speaker 4: We're there tonight, tonight, we are listen.
Speaker 3: I had folks in the cigar lounge tonight telling me
I wasn't born in sin. I said to me metaphorically,
because they was listening to the show last night.
Speaker 4: Okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 3: To me metaphorically, the original sin is need, and the
only reason why it becomes the sin is because it
was a survival mechanism for childhood that you carried into
your adulthood. Stay right there, don't go nowhere, Lord have mercy.
We on fire already when we come forward more from homeless.
Speaker 1: Wisdoms are internally related to every thing, not externally related.
Consciousness is an internal relationship to the whole. We take
in the whole, and we act or the whole, and
that internal whatever we have taken in determines basically what
we are.
Speaker 6: Quantum physicist and philosopher David Bohm was profoundly affected by
his close contacts with both Einstein and Jay Krishna Murti.
Bohm's theory of wholeness and the implicate order states that
there is something like life and mind and folded in everything.
Speaker 1: Well, so see, I think the difficulty is this fragmentation.
First of all, everybody is all thought is broken up
into bits like this nation, this country, this industry, this profession,
and so on, as they can't meet, and it's extremely
hard to break into that now. The second, but that
comes about primarily because thought has developed traditionally in a
way such that it claims not to be affecting anything,
but just tell you the way things are. Therefore, people
cannot see that they're creating a problem and then apparently
trying to solve it. That s let's take the problem.
What problem do you like? Pollution or the ecology? See,
the ecology is not in itself a problem. It works
perfectly well by itself. It's due to us, right, it's
a problem because we are thinking in a certain way
by breaking everything up in each person's doing his own
thing right now, Therefore, the ecological problem is due to thought. Right,
But thought thinks it is a problem out there and
I must solve it. Now. That doesn't make sense because
simultaneously thought is doing all the activities which make the problem,
and then there's another set of activities to try to
overcome it. You see, it doesn't stop doing the things
which are making the ecological problem. Or the national problem
or whatever the problem is. The earth is one household. Really,
we're not treating it that way, right, So that's the
first step in the economics is to say the earth
is one household and all that it depends on. It's
all one, you see, So now the implicate order would
help us to see that, to see everything and fools everything, everybody.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm sorry, I know, I let him ride. Doctor
David Baum talking about the implicate order. But psychologically speaking,
when he's talking about this psychological fragmentation, a psychologist will
call that the ego, right, the sense of me. Christianna
Murti would call that the center. You think you can
discern who your partner is, right, vet them out based
on a performance that you've got to buy, because when
you buy their performance, you consent to the version of
themselves they sold to you. Now, allowance is coming, that's
coming from another level of.
Speaker 4: Consciousness, completely different side of the room.
Speaker 3: And we're afraid to allow Why logical nudity, vulnerability, openness,
all of the things that you mentioned in the first
thirty minutes, these are things healed people do, or let
me say it in another way, people do. Right, They're
not afraid to put themselves directly in alignment with more pain.
Speaker 4: Talk to me, yeah, this is.
Speaker 7: You.
Speaker 5: Ask a question like why do people do this? They're
afraid of losing themselves?
Speaker 3: Stay right there, Okay, they're afraid of losing themselves. Don't
lose that. When I come back, I need you to
dive deep will into why they're afraid of losing themselves.
Speaker 8: So why does good sex X so often faid, even
for couples who continue to love each other as much
as ever? And why does good intimacy not guarantee you
good SA contrary to popular belief? Or the next question
would be can we want what we already have? That's
the million dollar question, right? And why is the forbidden
so erotic? What is it about transgression that makes desire
so potent? And why does sex make babies and babies
spelerotic disaster in couples? The fatal erotic blow, isn't it?
And when you love how does it feel? And when
you desire how is it different? These are some of
the questions that are at the center of my exploration
on the nature of erotic desire and its concomitant dilemmas
in modern love. So I travel the globe, and what
I'm noticing is that everywhere where romanticism has entered, there
seems to be a crisis of desire, a crisis of
desire as in owning the wanting desire as an expression
of our individuality, of our free show of our preferences,
of our identity, desire that has become a central concept
as part of modern love and individualistic societies.
Speaker 4: You know, this is the first time in.
Speaker 8: The history of humankind where we are trying to experience
sexuality in the long term, not because we want fourteen children,
for which we need to have even more because many
of them won't make it, and not because it is
exclusively a woman's merital duty.
Speaker 6: This is the first.
Speaker 8: Time that we want sex over time about pleasure and
connection that is rooted in desire. So what sustains desire
and why is it so difficult? And at a heart
of sustaining desire in a committed relationship, I think is
the reconciliation of two fundamental human needs. On the one hand,
our need for security, for predictability, for safety, for dependability,
for reliability, for permanence, all these anchoring grounding experiences of
our lives that we call home, but we also have
an equally strong need men and women for adventure, for novelty,
for mystery, for risk.
Speaker 3: Andy, who was that Esther Perrell? I should have known
from the accent and she was cooking. But I would
say in the opposite direction, back to anchoring need, right,
the need of the other, the need of the person.
And this ties us back to what you were talking
about when we first came forward, and that is the
fear of yourself.
Speaker 5: Yeah, this self that people fear losing is something that
they are building in a linear sense, like you get
all this foundational knowledge, going to school, achieving certain things.
People are building themselves, but usually in the more that
my allergies excuse me. Usually the more you're building, it's
away from the true self. This is why a lot
of times people make it to the pinnacle of their
career and they have a sense of a breakdown, like
I've done all these things and I'm still not happy.
This is a gift, this feeling of dissatisfaction because there's
no more to achieve, but there's something to be And
this is usually when people start navigating themselves to I
want to just take a year off of work and
find the true meaning of life.
Speaker 4: You the true essence of who you are.
Speaker 5: This cannot be built, It has to be allowed. It
is an emergence of self. And if we look at
our relationships in that same way, we will move away
from the vetting process and be open to allowing a
person to just be themselves. So what does that mean
If I'm going on a date with you and I say, hey,
I don't like that kind of language, don't curse around me.
Speaker 4: Okay, fine, you'll.
Speaker 5: Get the performative self of the person versus if you
can't tolerate that type of language, then go be somewhere
where they don't speak that way. Allow people to be
who they are truly. I'm gonna get married so that
I can. Then I'll be good then and I'll just
sleep with one person. No, that's not for you, right,
You're trying to fit into something in a sense of
building yourself to be something instead of allowing who you
truly are.
Speaker 3: Now, strip it all the way down. If I have
a strategy, yes for vetting, strip it all the way
down to the ground. Yeah, what are you vetting? And
for what purpose? Right to receive to fill.
Speaker 4: A need or to feel safety, to fill that need.
Speaker 3: Now there's a sister in the KBLA chat. She hasn't
She made a statement and we all know here the
voice of reason. We accept everybody's thoughts. Jilly Tree. At
Jilly Tree in the KBLA chat, she says, so, y'all
jealous of Black American women? Right?
Speaker 4: Does she see the black woman in here?
Speaker 3: And then she goes on to say, we black women
fought for this and we ain't going she said, and
we ain't going it up. I don't know what going
it up means?
Speaker 4: This is interesting.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 4: Can she only see you on the camera? Am I
jealous of me?
Speaker 3: Well, hopefully she can get some coherent questions in the
chat and I'll read them. I would definitely love to
share this platform with her. But let me just be clear.
Allowance is a high consciousness, right, It's a high state
of consciousness to allow. Look at how many times you
disallow your authentic self from emerging into your conscious mind? Right?
Are you vetting different parts of yourself? Right with regards
to what you show to another? And if you're doing
that to yourself, you will probably inevitably do that to others.
Could that not then be a point of contention for
conflict to arise in relationships.
Speaker 4: For sure, for sure, you know it.
Speaker 5: There's something about having social decorm right, carrying yourself in
a certain way so that you can be in social settings.
But this isn't what we're talking about. We're talking about relationships.
The intimacy of relationships, whether they're interpersonal or romantic, familial,
allowing people to be who they are. It is necessary
to learn about the ways of society. This is what
I'm speaking about decorm so that you can move through society.
But we're talking about when you're getting an intimate, intimate relationship,
you're looking for somebody that exists off of a list.
You're cross referencing a list. Must make this amount of money,
must have this amount of education, must be a Christian.
You're picking these things because you think they're going to
deliver to you a set of circumstances so that you
can be happy, and you're going out backwards when you
think in those terms. Look for someone that is in
vibrational alignment with you, So you have to look at
the vibration of who you are right in order to
understand that my vibration cannot be captured and put on
a list.
Speaker 3: Listen. You are cooking in such a rarefied way. Like
I said, when I listen to you, all these thoughts.
Speaker 4: Start to come out. Heah, I love that.
Speaker 3: So one of your main keys is being when we
come forward, something in my mind just blew up. As
Precious was talking. We're going to share it.
Speaker 9: On the other side, Terry says, longing for a felt
sense of connection is a primary need, especially it comes
up when we're threatened. Emotional isolation is inherently traumatizing. This
is wide into your nervous system. This is not cultural,
This is not about cultural context. This is just who
you are as a human being. Basically, connection with others
is the best survival strategy we ever came up with
as a species. And isn't it interesting? In this virus
that's happening, physical connection with others is challenged, But if
I trust us, we can still find ways to stay
emotionally connected. I don't know if you guys saw this
amazing YouTube that's going around of people in Italy standing
out on their balconies singing to each other. This warmed
my heart. They're singing to each other, only in Italy,
with they sing I don't know quite what they do
in Canada say oh, dear, would you like some tea
or something? But in Italy they sing to each other.
They're keeping the emotional connection because emotional isolation primes helplessness.
In us, safe haven connection calms our nervous system, gives
us emotional balance and tells us that distress is manageable.
So then we can stay engaged with that distress. We
can find a way through it, rather than avoiding it,
shutting it down, fighting it.
Speaker 3: Whoever these people think they are, they not? Who was
that Andy Sue Sue Johnson. Okay, it's clinically sound, it's
clinically accurate.
Speaker 5: But there was something that Sue said. There are people
on the balcony singing to each other. They're experiencing connection.
What was the criteria for them to be on the balcony.
It's just flow, It's just connection, right. This is a
better indicator of how well will get along. If you
sit down and you have a blind conversation and you
get on very well with someone and there is no performance,
it's just flow, right, You're feeling the heart, the soul
of the person. You're gonna mess it up if you
start asking them the education level, have they been incarcerated,
do they smoke?
Speaker 4: Do they drink?
Speaker 5: Because these things have something to do with their choices, right,
And what we really are seeking is connection. I get
to meet people from all over the world, every walk
of life, different experiences, and we are in session, heart
to heart, whether they're virtual or in my office. And
it's no judgment. I don't even need to know a
lot of the stuff that you do and.
Speaker 3: Precious for people who are just tuning in, Yes, tell
them what is the topic because we just you know
how we do. We pulled. Yes, tell them what we've
been talking about.
Speaker 5: We're basically talking about the difference of allowing flow in
connection with someone versus the need for our wound to
vet people because it is the wound.
Speaker 4: I know that's not the.
Speaker 5: Exact name or title of the topic, but it is
the wound that is doing the vetting.
Speaker 3: You cook it right.
Speaker 5: We're bringing people up to speed with where we are
going into our second hour. The wound is the one
that needs you to have X, Y and Z because
this is going to keep you safe. You can find X,
Y and Z, it's still not going to bring you peace.
Speaker 3: So the flow of letting versus the strategy of vetting.
Speaker 4: That's it.
Speaker 3: That's ladies and gentlemen, you've just tuned into the second
hour of the Voice of Reason and precious and I
are in here trip it tonight because I know it's
counterintuitive to what you were taught. And I'm listening to
the clinician Sue Johnson, that was just speaking. And it's
not that she's clinically incongruent, right, she's in alignment with
the teaching. I'm saying the teaching is wrong. Right, I'm
saying the teaching is wrong because guess what we want? Connection?
No one ever said why do we want connection? Right? Well,
why does separation exist? Connection implies disconnection? Right? Is it union?
Is it communion? Like, why do we need connection? Why
do needs exist at all?
Speaker 5: Talk to people, Well, it's that it's not that we
need connection. It's a part of our design to be connected. Right,
So we're going to connect whenever in order for us
not to connect with other people, we will be in isolation. Okay,
so this is something that is also a part of
that flow. But a lot of times we build a
design around what we need or think we need because
we think it's going to deliver us a set of circumstances.
But the reality is is when you allow the flow
with people are afraid to flow because they're like, I
don't want to make a mistake. You're gonna make a mistake.
Speaker 4: You're human.
Speaker 5: And when you are engaging the spirit, you will get
divine intervention on how to operate. Whether it be like
for me, I will get people will have a certain
smell to me and it communicates information, you know, So
if I smell that smell, I know what that means. Right,
that means halt or the spirit will put me in
a position where I'm not able to connect with that
person again. So you're trying to protect yourself and that's
God's job. So allow God to do its job. You
stop trying to play God and allow yourself to be
with the person authentically and see how you guys vibrate
together in or out.
Speaker 3: Are you saying somebody who's a control freak is trying
to play God in relationships?
Speaker 5: Oh, if you control freak, you're trying to play God
period in and out of relationships. It's like going to
your friends to see what they think. You are messing
yourself up. This is not your friend's relationship. Do you
not have a mind of your own? Do you not
feel your spirit?
Speaker 4: Do you not.
Speaker 5: Trust the God in you enough to inform you that
you have to go ask somebody so that you can
go in and out?
Speaker 3: That reminds me of Quincy Jones. He said, you want
to see He said, you want to make God leave
the room. Hmmm, the room of your life. Try to
control everything, that's it, he said. God is your co
pilot for life, and the moment you try to control everything,
he'll leave you in the cockpit of your life by yourself.
Speaker 4: You do you listen when we come forward? For some reason,
we gonna keep cooking.
Speaker 3: We got an hour number two coming up.
Speaker 10: Hello everyone, welcome to Soul Sessions with Creative Mind. I'm
Deba Bhah Maldonado. I'm here with doctor Rob Maldonado and
we have a special guest on our podcast today, Doctor
James hollis author of many books Young and Analysts, and
we're so excited to share that interview. But before we begin,
I would love for you to click the button here
on the corner if you're watching us on YouTube, to
subscribe to our channel, so you did not miss an episode.
So we had an incredible interview with doctor Hollis.
Speaker 11: Yeah, well it's a dream come true for me. You know,
we always half jokingly ask ourselves if this was a dream,
how would we interpret this for us? Doctor Hollis represents
the archetypal man of knowledge, holding up the lamp of
wisdom so that everyone can find their true path. So
it's a special interview that we did. And he's just
full of wisdom, so generous with his time, so willing
to share his knowledge of Youngian psychology. So thank you
for tuning in.
Speaker 10: And I had many many goosebumps during that interview, So
we can't wait for you to hear it. So it's
coming right now.
Speaker 12: I may not have anything to do with making you
wealthy or successful and by social standards, but it's something
in you that is imperious, that's demanding, that is wishing expression,
and it's about becoming who you are, and that's why
we're here in the first place. Each of us is
a tiny chip in a large mosaic, and we may
feel insignificant times, but then you take those chips away,
and what is the mosaic? It's deprived. So intividuation is
simply a word for the natural developmental process that's built
into us genetically, Yes, and struggle to recover a relationship
to it and to serve that rather than you know,
serve whatever the environmental demands might be at any given moment.
Speaker 13: Absolutely, how do we do this? I mean, given that
we know now there's a strong genetic component right to behavior.
The behavioral genetics has given us a different perspective than
in Jung's time of what forces are shaping our personality.
So we have a behavioral.
Speaker 14: Genetics, We have epigenetics now, our understanding of how our
forefathers experiences are passed down to us and how we
inherit those processes. And also of course the powerful force
of conditioning the things we experience in our families and
in our culture.
Speaker 3: Andy, who is that my friend? Because they were cooking.
James Hollis was cooking once they led him.
Speaker 4: That mosaic is the connection that I speak was speaking.
Speaker 3: Of, Yeah, they were cooking. Tonight's topic is a really
big and ambitious topic, and I think it's important that
I reframe it so you guys can get a grasp
of what we're talking about. Vetting, the strategic vetting that
many of us do, that we recontextualize as discernment versus
the way and the flow of allowing. The reason why
I'm doing this topic is because I'm not gonna push back,
but I'm going to give some some context from my perspective.
I think need is for the youth, for babies, for infants,
for children. But I think we outgrow now, that's only
if we do what the good doctor was talking about,
and that's individuation. All of the ancient societies and cultures
had a mystery system of spirituality that got you out
of your ego, that got you out of your mind,
that got you into a conscious stratum of oneness. When
you're unhealed, oneness becomes pathological loneliness. Do you see? So,
as long as the survival mechanism of need is turned on,
there will be clinging, there will be desire. I need this,
I need there. Do you understand all of the ancients
knew you know, there's a pathway, Whether it's in the
Hebrew Bible when they talk about Jacob's ladder and the
angel was coming up and down the ladder, that's your
spinal cord. You were talking about being in the last
hour well, the ancient cometants, you know what the end
of it is, or the whole desire for the ancient
cometants through there, through the teachings of you know what
the end was supposed to be. Every pharaoh desired to
become a star. This is where Hollywood gets the concept
of being a star, right, But what does a star do?
B our Son has been being and beaman. There's not
a lot of doing. It's being. Do you see the
ancient Egyptians knew that it was like no, we going
to Osiris, which later became serious b which you understand
what I'm saying, That's what they were trying to say.
I believe that Western psychology has framed it in such
a way that need is a lifelong thing. And this
is what Krishna Murty was telling doctor David Baum. He
was saying, No, once you become love, once you embody
the higher consciousness, the whole pursuing and bonding and connecting,
there's no disconnection when you tap into God. There's only
disconnection when you tap into Ego. Yes, when you tap
into unhealed wounds. So that leads me back to tonight's topic.
What is it letting versus vetting. The flow of allowance. Yes,
Doctor David R. Hawkins talks about allowing very high level
of consciousness, Yes, very high. In order to be vulnerable,
you must allow, You must be open, You must be
in the moment. The strategy of vetting is connected to
what I'm getting and are you suitable to give it?
And will there be any interruptions in the supply chain,
because now I'm gonna demote you if there are. Perhaps
this is why so many adults call it discernment, while
living almost entirely inside of inherited conclusions. They believe they
are evaluating another human being. Yet every act of vetting
first passes through an invisible inheritance that predates their own memory.
The mother room, that first room that cultivated who you
think you are. It doesn't mean your mother was bad.
She might have missed an opportunity here and there, and
you may have metabolized it in some way that might
not be good. What is a maladaptive? Maybe right, the
mother room has already translated reality before reality has had
even had an opportunity to speak. Perhaps every wisdom tradition
has been circling this same mystery from different horizons Jung.
Carl Jung asked whether we remain possessed by what we
refuse to see hmm. Krish Na Murti questioned whether observation
can exist without conclusion. Put that in modern day relationship,
we it's gotta be a conclusion. The Tao refuses to
force the river because the river never forgot how to
become the ocean. Woo way, the Woo way, the Woo way,
the woo wo woo, the woo wo whoop. The woo
way suggests that life's deepest intelligence appears when compulsion releases
its grip. Attachment theory describes the earliest architecture through which
safety becomes internalized. Everybody's talking about safety in relationships, and
nobody is talking about how to cultivate it within their
own being precious? Why is that the case? Please help
me understand.
Speaker 5: Well, most of what we are taught is to look outward.
It's not until you get into a state of allowance,
but before you allow you have to be Because when
I start to talk about people to being to people,
they're like, well I need to know what I need
to do. Now you're looking at it. You have to
turn inwards and just be be still.
Speaker 3: You mean like the sun.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you just the right. The sun is being but
it is not inactive. It's active.
Speaker 4: It activates all of our solar system.
Speaker 3: Probably the oldest symbol of God in the universe that
we know of is the sun.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that we know of, you know. But it's this.
You have to first be willing to not know. That's
your first step, right, and this is where people get
afraid and they get ANTSI so that is also where
the void enters. Move past that void, you're not you
don't need to know.
Speaker 4: You just have to be willing to allow the emergence
of self.
Speaker 3: So allowance is not seeking to arrive at a conclusion.
So when we translate that back into so what is this?
What are we doing right? What? What? What is this?
Speaker 4: I think I had this sounds last week.
Speaker 5: Now and it's you know, I don't care what you
call it or what it looks like. You don't get
to what it actually is until you allow yourself to
be present and allow your partner or.
Speaker 4: Whoever to be Then you get to see what the
truth is.
Speaker 5: And I know people think like, oh, well, these two
must sit in a closet and meditate all the time.
Speaker 4: No, I'm single ish.
Speaker 3: No, thanks to what you don't know that was gay,
I'm single.
Speaker 4: Ish and.
Speaker 5: It's the perfect ground for being what I am speaking of.
So that means that a lot of times I don't know.
I don't pretend to know either, But what I do
know is what I am being, and I'm only allowing
those things in my environment that are vibrationally in alignment
with my being.
Speaker 3: Let's take it down to the marianas trench.
Speaker 4: Wounds gotta know, uh huh, they know everything.
Speaker 3: Wounds gotta know. And even when they don't know, you
better know. Wounds are demanding. Wounds command nothing. Presence is command.
Wounds are dmond. Yes, and that's what you said, and
you promised, and you were supposed to and I believed.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Wah.
Speaker 3: All of that energy focused on the external. As you
so eloquently pointed out, what happens if you turn it
back into self and you start generating all of the
things that are required of your person, you will find
that those expectations of your person are no longer necessary
for them to bring to you because you embody them.
So when we start vetting people, who's doing the vetting right?
Speaker 5: The wounds always the wound, because that the the awakening
of who you are. The emergence of who you are
recognizes God inside of self as well as God inside
of the other. And so if you're looking for God
inside of the other, what's your criteria?
Speaker 3: Oh, take it deeper. If I know God is in me,
which allows me to see God in you, then where's
the separation between us?
Speaker 15: Oh?
Speaker 3: So we're back to oneness. So when you elevate the consciousness,
you get to oneness. But when the consciousness is not elevated, stifled,
now you're in loneliness. This is where the wound. That's
why there's always gimme, gimme, gimme what you're gonna show
up with. D you see unhealed? I need healed. I
have because I am Exodus three fourteen. Speak on it.
Speaker 5: And what people do when they're in that space is
they start building a new list because they're gonna pick
better next time, versus just releasing allowing. It really is
like a Jedi mind trick. You know, when you focus
on the self, when you allow the emergency of self, things.
Speaker 4: Start to float in your direction.
Speaker 5: You don't have to go get it, you don't have
to be in a space where you go, it shows
up like wow, here we go. Every person that you
meet is a teacher.
Speaker 3: Only if you're willing to learn.
Speaker 4: That's the only way you get taught.
Speaker 15: Uh.
Speaker 3: The Kabalian states, when the student is ready.
Speaker 4: The teacher appears.
Speaker 3: See. Somebody told me today, what are you doing to
help these youngsters? You better get out there and teach
these youngsters. I said, no, I only teach by invite.
Speaker 5: Yet do you know that a lot of times what
a highly spiritually awakened meaning a person has maintenance. They've
been doing this for a while. They build their spiritual energy.
It is your being that edifies your environment. People will
receive healing from you being.
Speaker 4: And it's not always bad.
Speaker 5: By watching you you wherever you're living, you're raising the vibration.
This is how energy works. Versus I need to go
and write on something and teach people what it is
that I'm doing so they'll catch on you.
Speaker 4: All you have to do is be. It will vibrate
you to where you need to be.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, if every really being? Oh,
I love it, I love it, I love it. We hey,
we write up against the clock. We got callers to
one eight nine, twenty fifteen eighty. I would love to
hear from everybody across the country. Let's talk about it.
If every relationship must first pass through your pattern before
it reaches your heart, has your pattern become your actual spouse? See,
people don't want me to talk the way I want
to talk. Your pattern is your partner, and the physical
manifestation or the mirror of your pattern becomes someone that
has to fit into that pattern. And if they don't fit,
guess what onto that? Let me say it again.
Speaker 4: If every relationship on to the next that looks just
like the last.
Speaker 3: How about that? Just change your clothes. If every relationship
must first pass through your pattern before it reaches your heart,
has your pattern become your spouse? This is strategic vetting
so I can secure and protect the wound. Right, if
your partner or if your patterns possessed, has possessed veto
power over every person you've ever loved? Why have you continue?
You'd calling your romantic history your choices instead of your
conditioned selections. That's it, Your conditioning is choosing. Listen, when
we come forward, we got callers. Were gonna let Precious
talk to these callers. Y'all want to talk to precious.
Now is the time to do it. One eight hundred
nine twenty fifteen eighty.
Speaker 15: I come from the unconscious, which literally is unconscious, the
part of us that we do not know in ourselves,
the part that can betray us and the situations that
we would gladly be out of, the part that can
push us way beyond what our ego would want to do,
and the part in fact that our ego cannot control
without some kind of discipline and learning how to dialogue
with the unconscious force. The dream is like a picture
of the unconscious taken from the from the nightly point
of view. In other words, what you do during the
day is mirrored in the dreams from the unconscious position
at night, so that it will appear in consciousness from
the ego position in the dream, from the soul position.
So what we try to do in union analysis is
set up a dialogue between conscious and unconscious. If experience
is not coming from the body, it is not known.
You can say I know I am going to die
from my head. It's something totally different to be told
that you've got six months to live, and it's coming
from the body that knows it is going to die,
so that, from my point of view, to work with
dreams strictly from the head is to end up with
knowledge that is not necessarily going to change your life.
Speaker 3: You wait a minute. I see where she's going. The
language is a litlaft, but I see where she's going.
She's saying, articulation is not actualization. Correct, That's why she
said it has to happen in the body. She's actually
describing the TikTok universe with all these people who know
the right words, they got the therapy speak together, they
can articulate their attachment style, right, and then they identify
with it and it's like a zodiac sign to them now, right.
But she's saying, when you gotta confront being a dismissive
avoidant and somebody show, oh you real intimacy and love
and what's happening in your body is saying retreat, Get
the hell up out of here. This is your defense mechanism.
This is what you use to survive your home. And
this person has triggered you. Can you live in the
trigger without judging the trigger, without condemning the feeling, Embrace
the feeling with empathy, sympathy, love, compassion, without verdict, can
you do that? See if you don't know how to
do that in a relationship with someone else, is it
a damn relationship at all?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 3: Right? Right?
Speaker 5: In fact, I have been pretty vocal about engaging in
that very process, not only entertaining the things that I
looked for, right, I had to allow indifference, or I
had to go through the process right to it, and
I allowed it consciously. I was very conscious about allowing
that process. And it's not an easy one because if
people are not showing up the way you want them to, right,
this usually will be a cause for me to be like, Okay,
well I just won't deal with this. That's not the
same thing as vibrating in alignment comes that's different. That's
rejecting a person's behavior. What I've been intentional about is
even allowing behaviors none that are disrespectful, because that's something different,
you know, the name abuse, that's what I should say, abuse,
No abuse, you know. But things that were not have
not been ideal for what I typically would have gone for.
Speaker 4: I had to.
Speaker 5: I've allowed myself to experience them and being choiceless in
how I move come on choicely and even though I
tried to make choices. I still went back with the
soul's lesson and it's it's given me some really great lessons.
Speaker 3: I love it. I love it. Ladies and gentlemen, you're
listening to the voice of reason wholeness Wednesday, Precious Migil,
she's on the grill. Listen if you want to talk
to her. All you gotta do is call us at
one eight hundred and nine twenty fifteen eighty when we
come back from the other side. As we move forward,
we're gonna go to Denver, Colorado.
Speaker 16: Okay, good morning. This today is Lenoida fourteenth, the year
two thousand and fourth. Yeah. In the Dear Park Monastery
during our winter retreat last week, we learn they gota
I have it.
Speaker 1: I I am home.
Speaker 16: In the here, in the now, I am solid, I
am free in the ultimate.
Speaker 3: I grow.
Speaker 16: And this attack can be used for sitting meditation, can
be used for walking meditation. When you stand, you can
also practice I have r I'm home. And when you
lie down you can also practice I have a right,
I'm home. At the end of the day, you like
to to to rest.
Speaker 5: That was your favorite Yes, chicken out hand, mindfulness, the
practice of being present, yes, absolutely.
Speaker 3: And that's one of our far Eastern brothers, and a
lot of modern day psychology is starting to pull from
this mindfulness concept. But he sounded like an Asian version
of a seventies soul record. The way he was talking,
it was like get ready baby.
Speaker 4: I love the way he.
Speaker 3: Had a smooth, little approach to him. I loved it.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, but he was right on point, right on
the money.
Speaker 3: In order to get into flow state, there must be
a state of mindfulness. Yes, and mindfulness is just another
term for awareness. But that awareness can't be called awareness
if evaluation or judgment is a part of it.
Speaker 4: Correct, It's about being.
Speaker 3: A lot of people don't know how to flow, yeah,
but they know how to go. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Like how he said, when you stand up, you have
arrived home. That's where you are. That is your home.
Speaker 3: Yes, well we got callers, let's get him in here,
do it. I want to apologize for Cali's soul. She
should have been on a segment ago, but we get
caught up. Cali sold Denver, Colorado, get in here. What
are your thoughts on tonight's topic?
Speaker 17: First of all, shout out to stick my han.
Speaker 3: Yes, y'all like him?
Speaker 17: Oh Man Ti is he's amazing. When I first started
my meditation practicing, I could not sit still to save
my life. It was he was like the first person
that taught me about the concept of like anything that
I do can be a meditation. I can talk walking ooh,
girls like oh okay, and now I actually can't sit
still on the christ Yeah, but y'all topic today is
on points so much and I am a recovering control freak.
Speaker 7: Wh yes, so thet the difference between vetting and letting, Like,
that's a concept that I have.
Speaker 17: Those are concepts that I have looked at like the
past three to four years in my life, and I oh,
I was a serial vetter and it causes a lot
of grief because you got this checklist, and if they
don't put in a checklist, you're like, Okay, let me
move around a little bit. Whereas the concept of letting
has bought for so many like holy encounters in my life. Indeed,
so much freedom, so much peace, And I love that
y'all like to remind us that anytime we're experiencing conflict
in our mind, to check in with our body and
see where is it in your body?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 17: And I noticed with this activity of letting and slow,
Like my shoulders just in my general life have dropped.
I think my shoulders I must have carried them up
by my ears before. So yeah, letting it really is
a beautiful thing. And I would invite people out there
if you haven't tried to move in that space of
just letting life slow, just try it, because it really
does feel different that there's no answer to it if
you're doing it properly, and if you're starting the feeling,
that's that control and that betting, like tapping you on
the shoulder, like you know, we shouldn't just be chilling
like this, we should we should pull out our checklist.
Speaker 4: Yeah, see check home. Yeah see see you said.
Speaker 3: It, love it, love it, Cali Soul. Guess what you
just did? Sweethell right?
Speaker 17: Brought them into the house.
Speaker 3: He Denver. Yes, if you want to bring your city
in a building, fifteen eighty Denver, Colorado in the building.
We got another caller on the line. Let's get her
in here. Alexis from Long Beach, California, LBC. You already
know what's gonna go down. What are your thoughts on
tonight's topic?
Speaker 18: Hey, family, Hey, hey, hey, I think tonight's topic is great.
I also think it's relatable. I have a question, yes,
to know at what point do you say? Okay? I
don't judge. I'm not a control freak, but I don't
wish to participate. Is there a way to properly identify
your wounds through the lens the mirror that your partner
is holding up to you step back from the commitment
and do your homework on your own isolation. Is there
a way to heal and go on a solo individual
journey while physically departing from connection as a whole without
it being considered like running away or being considered an
avoiding If that makes sense.
Speaker 4: So to be.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay? She asked a heavy question. Yeah, we gotta
let her still in't it? We're gonna answer it. On
the other side, ladies and gentlemen, Alexis is trying to start. Man.
Speaker 19: It was the dead of winter in Saint Louis and
I was completing my fellowship in psychology when I had
purchased my first brand new car on nineteen eighty seven,
Toyota Celica. I was so excited to be able to
afford my first new car, this white, shiny sports car.
Speaker 3: It was my prize possession in the middle of the night. Yeah,
I know he's gonna cook, but I've got callers and
I don't have time for his Toyota Selica story. Who
was that, Indy? I'm sorry, Tony Ferreddy. We'll holler back
at you tomorrow because guess who's coming on tomorrow?
Speaker 4: Who?
Speaker 3: Doctor Alan Berger? Oh?
Speaker 4: Yes, okay, our author.
Speaker 3: Of Emotional Sobriety will be in studio.
Speaker 4: I wanted to catch that.
Speaker 3: It's about to be lit. Just get back to Alexis
down in an LBC.
Speaker 4: Yes, Alexis, you're there.
Speaker 18: Yes, I am.
Speaker 3: Now just tell me that question again because it was
quite profound and I want Precious to address it.
Speaker 18: Yeah. So the question is this, when you're in connection
and your partner is doing what they're supposed to do,
they trigger you, right, they have their invisible Europe and
they're showing you your wounds. Is it possible that rather
than continuing to participate in the connection, that you can
actually pivot and separate and still do that same healing
in isolation mode. So you have to participate.
Speaker 5: So the answer is yes, you can. And if you
want to look at this from an awakened elevated awakened state.
Speaker 4: You don't have to make any choices.
Speaker 5: You can recognize that the way they're showing up is
triggering you, and then you can focus on that work.
Stay focused on the spirit. It's you don't ever have
to leave anyone. You can just keep vibrating, focused on
the spirit. It will take you where you need to go.
They may do you a favor and leave you no
take sometimes Now, well, I mean you could look at
it that way, but this concept of working on like
for example, you know me, well, I left my last marriage, right,
if I would have been in a higher state of consciousness,
I would not have left. I would have just stayed
focused on the spirit and allow things to go as
they may, participating in the things that I feel called to.
This whole leaving does not have to happen. People will
go where they need to go. Right, stay focused on
the spirit.
Speaker 3: But I would ask the question I have a question
for you, alexis why why would you want to leave?
If it wasn't like abusive, but it was triggering. So
we take abuse off the table. If abuses on the table,
get the hell out of there. Don't ask questions. Now
there's no abuse but yet you still want to leave
because you're triggered. Why why do you want to leave.
Speaker 18: I'm at the point in my life now where connections
are becoming less and less romantic and more about the
spiritual aspect. I'm looking at it less about romanticism, and
I'm seeing people as spiritual lessons. Yeah, so when you
look at an connection as more of not to make
it sound like that, but like an assignment. Right, that
person is my teacher, really, whether they know it or not.
Sometimes they're teaching me through really positive experiences, and sometimes
they're teaching me through very negative experiences. And a lot
of times they're not aware of this, but I know
what it is. You know what I mean. So that person,
that's their contract. This is a contractual agreement. And once
they've served their purpose, they're now a catalyst. And they
served their purpose and now it's up to me to
do what I need to do. So it's about me
and what I'm supposed to be doing and less about them.
So when you think about it that way, it's less
about what I need to do with you and me
smiling in your face and being around you, and it's
about me and how I need to work through this
energy and how I need to heal the things that
you brought up and stirred up within me. That's really
where I'm not with this, So just why It's not
about a fight or flight type of feelings for me
right now. It's more so about, oh my God, thank
you for showing me what I need to work on.
Let me go do that.
Speaker 4: So just do the work better the.
Speaker 18: Next time I show up, you know what I mean?
Speaker 5: Yeah, do the work and don't You don't have to
be in secret about it, be honest about how you're
showing up. Yeah, I'm not feeling that I'm going to
do this and I eventually am moving in this way.
Just stay focused on the other thing, because like, if
it's safe, it's someone that you're in relationship and then
they start cheating, right, I'm gonna break up.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna leave you.
Speaker 5: Yeah, before you start focusing on that, focus on yourself.
What is this bringing up for you? What is it
that God is saying to you? What does God have
for you that will journey you to where you need
to go. Now, if there's a marriage here, of course
there are certain steps that need to be taken.
Speaker 4: But fighting and all this exercises and futility.
Speaker 5: Stay focused on the spirit right and if you're not
in a committed relationship with someone, you really don't have a.
Speaker 4: Big speech that you need to make. Just stay focused.
Speaker 3: You know, you know you don't have to do a speech.
Is crazy? I love it, It's true.
Speaker 4: But they still want to hear from you.
Speaker 18: That's the problem that that really is. Yeah, it's easy
for me to disconnect, it's not so easy for them.
And then, you know, when you got the good energy,
it's not.
Speaker 5: You know, but the spirit, you turn it over to
their Yeah.
Speaker 3: Alexis, guess what you just did, sweetheart.
Speaker 18: Baby, I done brought long beats all up and through there.
Speaker 3: In the building. I love it. I love it, I
love it.
Speaker 4: Today was fun.
Speaker 3: Today was great. You have you lifted my spirits.
Speaker 4: To a I love you brother, Yes, yes, this was I.
Speaker 3: Love you too, sister, Thank you. This was powerful. Precious,
I need folk to go see you. How do they
come see you? How do they pull up?
Speaker 5: Well, you just go to with precious dot com. And
I know it's working because your listeners aren't calling me.
With Precious dot com, you can even schedule yourself or
submit an inquiry for an appointment, or you can go
to at Phenomenal Change, at Phenomenal Underscore Change on ig
and if you go to Facebook, I'm just phenomenal chain.
Speaker 3: I love it, I love it. Please go to with
Precious dot com. I have some questions. If embodiment never
ask permission from your past, right, why does your past
continue demanding permission from your future? God, if every tomorrow
must first receive approval from yesterday, at what point did
memory quietly become your highest authority instead of reality. Suppose
your greatest relationship fear has never been abandonment. Suppose it
has always been the death of the identity abandonment created.
Which loss are you actually protecting? So you think you're discerning,
you think you're vetting. But if you haven't, and I
always say this, won some internal self wars, cast out
your own demons, performed a self exorcism. You're going to
be in a state of some kind of dependence. You're
going to be depending on them to make you happy,
on them to make you feel like you're worth it.
I'm telling you, if listen, we start the conversations.
Speaker 4: It's up to you to finish the.
Speaker 3: Voice of reason and Precious in another holeness with stay
with Fireworks. I'll be back tomorrow with another slapper. I
love y'all, See you tomorrow, Dudeeez