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<v Speaker 1>Baby, I'm a Gangstato. It takes a little tangle. You

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<v Speaker 1>mess with me, Mess with me, baby, I'm a GANGSTERA

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<v Speaker 1>touch baby, you're a gamesterato.

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<v Speaker 2>For good warning.

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<v Speaker 3>This podcast is designed to take you outside of your

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<v Speaker 3>comfort zone and make you question reality. Listener discretion is

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<v Speaker 3>a vibe they fellas.

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<v Speaker 2>This ain't my first time at the rodeos. Hello, and

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<v Speaker 2>welcome back. They're taking a small break from violent beehole

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<v Speaker 2>rape today maybe, and we're venturing into the world of

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<v Speaker 2>the unknown. I haven't done an episode like this in

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<v Speaker 2>a while, and my husband kind of inspired me to

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<v Speaker 2>take a walk on the wild side. So here we are.

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<v Speaker 2>How has how has twenty twenty six been treating you guys?

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<v Speaker 2>Pretty good so far. I don't have any recommendations for

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<v Speaker 2>you guys for documentaries or movies or anything right now.

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<v Speaker 2>So let's just talk about life a little bit. How

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<v Speaker 2>about that. Let's just talk about life a little bit.

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<v Speaker 2>We're friends, right, we can have these conversations together. My

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<v Speaker 2>baby is already four months old. I can't even believe it.

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<v Speaker 2>I am thoroughly enjoying each stage of his development. I

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<v Speaker 2>know I'm supposed to be like, oh no, my baby's

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<v Speaker 2>getting bigger and pretty soon he won't be a baby anymore. Ah.

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<v Speaker 2>I know, like that's what I'm supposed to be like.

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<v Speaker 2>But I will tell you something straight up. I took

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<v Speaker 2>lots and lots of newborn pictures and it's a sweet

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<v Speaker 2>and a gentle time that I will cherish forever. But

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<v Speaker 2>y'all are fucking crazy to want to have a little

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<v Speaker 2>newborn suspended in time forever. Fucking nuts. Let me tell

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<v Speaker 2>you something. My baby never had like that little useless

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<v Speaker 2>newborn body that's all like scrunched up in adorable. My

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<v Speaker 2>baby came out of the utero, lifting his head up,

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<v Speaker 2>looking around. Within fucking hours of being out of the vagina,

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<v Speaker 2>still had some crusty puss juice on his forehead. He's

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<v Speaker 2>looking around, kicking his legs, stretching his arms. Wasn't long

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<v Speaker 2>before he was trying to fucking stand up and hold

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<v Speaker 2>his own bottle and shit, maybe like a week or two.

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<v Speaker 2>He loves to practice standing, and lucky for us, he

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<v Speaker 2>also had and probably still has a horrible colic, horrible

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<v Speaker 2>horrible colic, okay, and gas and shit. So if he

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<v Speaker 2>wasn't sleeping, he was screaming at the top of his lungs,

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<v Speaker 2>and it just felt like it never never stopped. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>Plus on top of that, even though I knew he

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<v Speaker 2>was a super strong baby, I was just scared to

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<v Speaker 2>death that I was gonna hurt him in some way, Like,

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<v Speaker 2>am I holding his head right? Is the bathtub water

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<v Speaker 2>too hot? Am I doing this? Am I doing that?

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<v Speaker 2>Had to change his formula like five or six times?

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<v Speaker 2>He cried every two hours on the fucking dot all

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<v Speaker 2>night long. I felt like I was at death's door literally,

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<v Speaker 2>like the last three months. It's just now starting to

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<v Speaker 2>feel a little bit more manageable with the sleep and

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<v Speaker 2>eat schedule and shit.

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<v Speaker 4>But who the fuck, I mean, really, who the fuck

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<v Speaker 4>wants the newborn stage to last forever?

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<v Speaker 2>Fuck that? Okay, I absolutely cannot wait to eat spaghetti

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<v Speaker 2>with my boy. I can't wait to communicate with him

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<v Speaker 2>and take him to do fun things. That's what I'm

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<v Speaker 2>looking forward to. I can't wait to watch unsolved mysteries

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<v Speaker 2>with him and have movie nights and shit, and you know,

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<v Speaker 2>have some semblance of communications. He gets so fucking frustrated

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<v Speaker 2>playing with his toys. He's four months old. If he

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<v Speaker 2>can't roll or move or get the toy, he wants

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<v Speaker 2>or do whatever, whatever the fuck it is he's trying

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<v Speaker 2>to do. Nervous break down if he cannot. I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>it's just I can tell he's trying so hard to

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<v Speaker 2>accomplish the simplest of little tasks and if he's having

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<v Speaker 2>our time with it or if he can't, total fucking

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<v Speaker 2>nervous breakdown. So you know, maybe I'm just a weirdo

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<v Speaker 2>because I don't want my baby to stay in newborn forever.

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<v Speaker 2>I love seeing him develop and acquire new skills and

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<v Speaker 2>because and his personality come out a little bit more

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<v Speaker 2>every day. Love it. I love it. But yes, baby

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<v Speaker 2>is thriving. I'm surviving. If anybody gives a shit, taints

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<v Speaker 2>all healed up as far as I know, But I

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<v Speaker 2>still got like some other weird stuff lingering around. We're friends,

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<v Speaker 2>like I said, So I'm just gonna tell you straight up,

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<v Speaker 2>it's like I'm un understanding many things as I progress

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<v Speaker 2>through the motherhood journey. Okay, Like you ever see a

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<v Speaker 2>couple and maybe they're your friends or something, and you're

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<v Speaker 2>like friend, couple friends, you know, and you're like, how

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<v Speaker 2>the hell did Mike and Tammy end up together? This

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<v Speaker 2>might be a private conversation you have with your husband

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<v Speaker 2>after you guys get done bowling or whatever it is

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<v Speaker 2>you guys do, and you ad and you're looking at

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<v Speaker 2>your husband and you're like, how the fuck did Mike

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<v Speaker 2>and Tammy end up together? Mike's like a solid nine

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<v Speaker 2>and Tammy is a four on a good day, Like

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<v Speaker 2>how And then you realize, or at least I am

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<v Speaker 2>right now, but Tammy done pumped out four kids for

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<v Speaker 2>Mike right and Tammy started out, uh, fucking bombshell ass

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<v Speaker 2>fucking miss Usa looking tight bitch, and then babies happened. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>Like at some point you think it would have or

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<v Speaker 2>it should have occurred to me, like, oh fuck, my

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<v Speaker 2>husband is gonna stay hot and I'm gonna look like.

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<v Speaker 5>Some people are up down on me. But I don't

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<v Speaker 5>gamble rip.

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<v Speaker 2>I damn that.

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<v Speaker 5>Put it in my home run y'all with the baby

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<v Speaker 5>on my hip because I'm in rest, lonely and I

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<v Speaker 5>ain't no half class rock. I'm just crying out up

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<v Speaker 5>rings and I say, hey, y'all, any.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I'm not proud of it, but that's where

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<v Speaker 2>we're at. People. My hairs are literally falling out. I

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<v Speaker 2>have actual bald spots. My skin is all fucked up.

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<v Speaker 2>My titties are totally deflated. I don't even know what's

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<v Speaker 2>going on with my ass. It's like softer, more jiggly,

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<v Speaker 2>but not like I don't even know. I don't even know.

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<v Speaker 2>My belly looks like rising pizza dough, okay, with some

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<v Speaker 2>badass fucking stretch marks. I'm literally jiggly in places you

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<v Speaker 2>definitely shouldn't be. I got like the mom fat arm

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<v Speaker 2>thing going on, and I look over at my husband

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, oh fuck, I'm tammy.

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<v Speaker 3>You know.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know if you ladies out there were lucky

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<v Speaker 2>enough to marry someone who you thought was completely out

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<v Speaker 2>of your league, But if you did, I'm right there

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<v Speaker 2>with you. Congrats, Welcome to the hot husband's club. My

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<v Speaker 2>husband is just a hottie right, thick ass beard, huge

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<v Speaker 2>blue eyes, dimples, great body, super funny, loves watching movies

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<v Speaker 2>and talking about conspiracies and shit. Just hot, right, just

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<v Speaker 2>fucking hot. What can I say? He recently started running

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<v Speaker 2>on the treadmill. He's just dropping weight like that, just

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<v Speaker 2>dropping wait, super fast, just gets off the treadmill, glistening

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<v Speaker 2>and shit, little sexy sweat beat action going on. Meanwhile,

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<v Speaker 2>back on the ranch, Remember the last time I shaved

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<v Speaker 2>my legs, ass clipped my toenails, a half bald skin

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<v Speaker 2>just fucking rocked. I eat a fucking string cheese my

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<v Speaker 2>belly and flates like a fucking pull floatye uh, And

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<v Speaker 2>it's like, ah fuck, I'm not one of those Facebook

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<v Speaker 2>TikTok moms that has ten babies and just went right

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<v Speaker 2>back to wearing their old pants and shit. I had

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<v Speaker 2>to get a whole new wardrobe up in this bitch, right,

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<v Speaker 2>including shoes. My fucking feet grew. Okay, I'm not. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>there's just some kinds of freaks and nature moms out

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<v Speaker 2>there that can just pump out five kids and still

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<v Speaker 2>wear a two piece to the pool in summertime. Nah, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>Nah not I okay, I've had one one o n

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<v Speaker 2>E one, literally one, and my body's already giving like

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<v Speaker 2>fat adele vibes, like pre ozimbic adele vibes from a one. Right.

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<v Speaker 2>And I'll just be honest with you guys out there,

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<v Speaker 2>if you're a male listener, maybe your wife feels the

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<v Speaker 2>way I do. My husband thinks I have body dysmorphia disorder.

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<v Speaker 2>Well that might be true. I don't know if it

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<v Speaker 2>is or not, but it don't change the fuck the

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<v Speaker 2>fact that I feel like I look like shit. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>so body dysmorphia are not men? Male listeners out there,

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<v Speaker 2>You got a wife, she kind of feels like I do.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe she's had a few kids. Do this for me,

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<v Speaker 2>Do this for the old peature. Would you deflated titties,

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<v Speaker 2>flat ass? Whatever she got going on, she got the

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<v Speaker 2>saggy belly, Go up behind her, kiss her on the neck,

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<v Speaker 2>Tell her she's the most beautiful creature you've ever seen.

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<v Speaker 2>You know. Maybe maybe squeeze her a little deflated titty,

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<v Speaker 2>all right, Slap her a little flat, flabby ass, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>make her feel desirable, make her feel like she's the

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<v Speaker 2>most beautiful creature that ever walked the earth. Maybe she's

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<v Speaker 2>like me, and you'd go up behind her, you kiss her,

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<v Speaker 2>you squeeze her a little flat titty, and she's like, ew,

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<v Speaker 2>get off me. What the fuck? Because that's the kind

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<v Speaker 2>of reaction I have, Because let's be honest with each other.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm so disgusted with myself that I cannot believe anybody

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<v Speaker 2>would want to come upon me and squeeze me my

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<v Speaker 2>fucking deflated titty or slap my flabby ass. So just

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<v Speaker 2>give her the grace if she has a reaction like

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<v Speaker 2>I would, just give her the grace that she's going

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<v Speaker 2>through some shit and just make her feel special. Valentine's

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<v Speaker 2>Day is right around the corner. It's never too soon

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<v Speaker 2>to squeeze your wife's flabby titty and smack her flat ass.

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<v Speaker 2>It's never too soon or whatever she's got. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>women come in all shapes and sizes, whatever maladies she

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<v Speaker 2>thinks that she has or has or whatever. Just be

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<v Speaker 2>sweet and kind and gentle, because I will tell you

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not a feminist, but we deserve it. Okay, we're

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<v Speaker 2>hard enough on ourselves already. We're our own worst enemy,

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<v Speaker 2>our own worst critic. And sometimes it's nice to just

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<v Speaker 2>have your husband come behind you, give you a little

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<v Speaker 2>kiss on the neck, squeeze you, you know, jiggle your

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<v Speaker 2>little flat titties around, and just make you feel desirable. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>that's that's all you can ask for for Valentine's Day.

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<v Speaker 2>But anyways, in the stillness of the quiet evenings with

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<v Speaker 2>my baby though, you know, while my husband is just

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<v Speaker 2>off being a hot guy somewhere at work and I'm

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<v Speaker 2>sitting here with my flabby titties, my baby. I look

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<v Speaker 2>into my baby's eyes and his little, perfect smiling face,

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<v Speaker 2>and I wouldn't change anything. Okay, I can already tell

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<v Speaker 2>he's gonna be a super handsome little dude like his daddy.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe got a big mouth like his mama. He's got

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<v Speaker 2>the blue eyes and everything. And it occurred to me

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<v Speaker 2>that he loves me un conditionally. He loves me stretch

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<v Speaker 2>marks and all bald spots, saggy titties, whatever. This baby

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<v Speaker 2>looks at me like I am the greatest human being alive,

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<v Speaker 2>and it is just pure love. And what an incredible

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<v Speaker 2>blessing it is to have that. And I'm really learning

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<v Speaker 2>a lot from him. He's he is a very wise,

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<v Speaker 2>very wise little boy, little shaman baby, and you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I am. I know that sounds retarded, but I'm learning

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<v Speaker 2>a lot from him. I am motherhood in general, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>coming around to surrendering to motherhood. Uh, it's changed literally

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<v Speaker 2>every single fragment of my identity. And I'm starting to

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<v Speaker 2>realize that's okay. We're not moving backwards to something that

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<v Speaker 2>used to exist in the past. We're moving forward. And

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<v Speaker 2>it's a completely uncharted territory that we're moving into, and

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<v Speaker 2>I'm starting to realize that's okay, you know, because what

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<v Speaker 2>I'm getting in return is so much more magnificent than

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<v Speaker 2>I can even describe. I love being a mother, but

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<v Speaker 2>it also makes me even more hyper vigilant and sensitive

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<v Speaker 2>to what is going on with kids in the world

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<v Speaker 2>right now. And you know, I think I've said this before,

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<v Speaker 2>but I have and have always had such a passion

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<v Speaker 2>for exposing the truth about child's sex trafficking, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>child sex crimes and all that shit. Okay, but it

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<v Speaker 2>hits very, very different having my own Okay, Yes, I know,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm one person and there's only so much I can do,

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<v Speaker 2>but I do not want to go down with a

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<v Speaker 2>guilty conscience knowing I knew about all this shit, researched

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<v Speaker 2>all this shit, and never did my part to bring

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<v Speaker 2>any sort of awareness all those nameless, faceless babies out

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<v Speaker 2>there getting raped, murdered, trafficked and mutilated as we speak, right,

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<v Speaker 2>and yet it's a topic people cringe at the thought

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<v Speaker 2>of of avoid even you know, if possible, they won't

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<v Speaker 2>even bring it up. Okay, if I had a dollar

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<v Speaker 2>for every time I heard, oh, I just can't. That

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<v Speaker 2>stuff gives me nightmares. What do you think the kids

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<v Speaker 2>are having that are going through this stuff? You think

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<v Speaker 2>they go to sleep at night and dream of puppies

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<v Speaker 2>and shit? Probably not sorry to disturb your peace in

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<v Speaker 2>your nice, peaceful sleep, all cozy, snuggled up on your

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<v Speaker 2>temper petic, But there's some babies out there right now

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<v Speaker 2>as you're listening to this, getting train ran on right

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<v Speaker 2>in their bee hole by disgusting hairy old dudes with

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<v Speaker 2>saggy gross balls, probably a politician you voted for that

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<v Speaker 2>you think is so wonderful. Okay, it just putrifies my

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<v Speaker 2>stomach thinking about it, But that's, you know, another episode.

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<v Speaker 2>I promised we wouldn't talk about be whole rape today,

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<v Speaker 2>but I just had to get that little bit out

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<v Speaker 2>of my system. So let's just get to the topic

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<v Speaker 2>of the hour, shall we, Now that we've got our

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<v Speaker 2>little therapy session out of the way. And you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I love you guys. We're all besties out here, and

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<v Speaker 2>if you can't be honest with your besties, who the

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<v Speaker 2>fuck are you gonna be honest with? So let's go

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<v Speaker 2>ahead and move on right the topic of the hour.

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<v Speaker 2>So I've kind of mentioned in the Mystery Crotched Me

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<v Speaker 2>episode that I lived in Kentucky for most of my childhood,

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<v Speaker 2>and my mom's side of the family, which is really

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<v Speaker 2>my only side of the family, is all born and

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<v Speaker 2>bred Kentuckians. My MoMA and popall talked about as flat

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<v Speaker 2>as it comes. Their accents were so thick it was

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<v Speaker 2>like another language almost. I would even have to ask

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<v Speaker 2>my mom what some words and shit meant, Like my

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<v Speaker 2>popa was on par with Boomhower. Just so flat and

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<v Speaker 2>so thick was the accent you needed like special kind

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<v Speaker 2>of ears to understand that shit. Sometimes and my family's says,

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<v Speaker 2>this is my family, Okay, they say that I have

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<v Speaker 2>a hybrid accent, because yes, I grew up in Kentucky

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<v Speaker 2>and most of my family has beautiful Southern draws. But

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<v Speaker 2>I also spent a lot of time in Ohio and

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<v Speaker 2>they have their own entire whole different accent going on.

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<v Speaker 2>So maybe I have a hybrid. I don't know. This

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<v Speaker 2>is besides the point though. Oh and by the way,

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<v Speaker 2>just so you know, I don't think I have an

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<v Speaker 2>accent at all, So there's that. But you know, actually,

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<v Speaker 2>there are moments when my husband tries to correct words

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<v Speaker 2>that I say, and I realized I might be pretty

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<v Speaker 2>fucked up. Okay, apparently I say family or wrong, and

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<v Speaker 2>I don't even know how the fuck outse to say

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<v Speaker 2>it for me, something's familiar to you, How the fuck

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<v Speaker 2>euse do you say that it's familiar familiar? Anyways, Anyways,

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<v Speaker 2>so I grew up listening and being completely fascinated by

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<v Speaker 2>all these stories of where my grandparents grew up right

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<v Speaker 2>directly in the heart of the Appalachian Mountains, in what

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<v Speaker 2>they called a haller no running water, no electricities, just

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<v Speaker 2>dirt floors and like little squalor type shacks and uh

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<v Speaker 2>my grandpa worked in the coal mines and they literally

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<v Speaker 2>had no shoes for the kids sometimes and barely anything

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<v Speaker 2>to eat, which is why they moved north through Ohio

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<v Speaker 2>for like better opportunities and shit. But they brought with

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<v Speaker 2>them all these stories of paranorm supernatural, almost witchy encounters.

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<v Speaker 2>Some of the shit was downright terrifying, and apparently Appalachian

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<v Speaker 2>witch magic and all types of fucking cryptids and creatures

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<v Speaker 2>are common knowledge to some people. All of Appalachia, not

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<v Speaker 2>just Kentucky obviously, is filled with these stories. But personally

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<v Speaker 2>I can remember being really little and hearing stories of

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<v Speaker 2>what sounded like some dog man type stuff running rampant

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<v Speaker 2>through the mountains. And my great grandpa Troy was apparently

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<v Speaker 2>some kind of a healer on some kind of like

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<v Speaker 2>Appalachian witch doctor type shit, and he would whisper some

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<v Speaker 2>kind kind of little chant and lay hands on you

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<v Speaker 2>and whatever was wrong with you would be healed. And

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<v Speaker 2>so some of the practices I've been researching.

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<v Speaker 4>Almost have.

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<v Speaker 2>In a cult like witchy undertone to them. They call

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<v Speaker 2>it Appalachian folk magic, and some people call it granny magic,

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<v Speaker 2>but I never heard that term before. It just is,

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<v Speaker 2>it just was what it was. They described it to

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<v Speaker 2>me when I was little. They would tell me stories

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<v Speaker 2>and stuff, but they never had like a name for

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<v Speaker 2>what they were doing. But it fascinated me learning about

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<v Speaker 2>this stuff. And I'm going to spare you the details

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<v Speaker 2>on each and every cryptid said to lurk within the

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<v Speaker 2>Appellation Mountains because some of this that some of the

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<v Speaker 2>ship is just silly, all right, it's just silly. I

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<v Speaker 2>host a conspiracy theory podcast. Yeah, some of this ship

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<v Speaker 2>is just silly. Sorry it is. You want to listen

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<v Speaker 2>to a crypto podcast so you can go find them

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<v Speaker 2>there out there. But this, this is the realness right here,

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<v Speaker 2>This is the real shit. And that's why you listen

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<v Speaker 2>to my podcast. We're gonna skip all the silly cattawompissing

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<v Speaker 2>and get straight to the biscuits and gravy. I want

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<v Speaker 2>to talk about the real stuff. I want to talk

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<v Speaker 2>about the magic. I want to talk about things that

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<v Speaker 2>have been documented, things that are compelling. And we're just

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<v Speaker 2>gonna get right into it. By the way, Appalachia's wasn't

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<v Speaker 2>that like Prince's wife's name Appalachia? Anyways? The Appalachian Mountains

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<v Speaker 2>host numerous weird sightings from mysterious brown mountain lights, glowing

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<v Speaker 2>orbs as they say, to cryptids like mothman bigfoot like creatures,

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<v Speaker 2>alongside reports of unexplained phenomenon like strange noises, figures with

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<v Speaker 2>bark like skin, disembodied voices, and these are often linked

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<v Speaker 2>to local folklore. In the region's ancient mysterious geography, Hikers

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<v Speaker 2>on the Appalachian Trail frequently report encounters with glowing eyes,

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<v Speaker 2>shadowy figures, or even being lifted, while local legends mention

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<v Speaker 2>curses and encounters with other worldly beings. Now, this is

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<v Speaker 2>why we're here. This is what we're going to get

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<v Speaker 2>into today. So the area I'm referring to, Appalaysia is

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<v Speaker 2>where is it? It is a mountain range that reaches

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<v Speaker 2>from Alabama to Pennsylvania, as well as the surrounding area

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<v Speaker 2>you know, where people live and shit. But the mountains

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<v Speaker 2>themselves are believed to be four hundred and eighty million

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<v Speaker 2>years old. And according to this one article I read,

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<v Speaker 2>that's older than the supposed rings of Saturn if you

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<v Speaker 2>believe in that shit. But it is also older than trees,

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<v Speaker 2>like literally, like the entire species of trees. That's how

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<v Speaker 2>old these mountains are. So if you pass through them,

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<v Speaker 2>maybe on the famous Appalachian Trail, you may feel the

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<v Speaker 2>Earth's ancientness. They're older than we can reasonably wrap our

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<v Speaker 2>heads around, and maybe that's why there's so much that

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<v Speaker 2>happens there that people just cannot explain. Those are the

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<v Speaker 2>stories and warnings that have been passed on for generations,

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<v Speaker 2>and that is why we are here today. But before

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<v Speaker 2>we move on, only those cosmic peach listeners true of

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<v Speaker 2>heart may continue beyond this point. Oh yeah, we're just

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<v Speaker 2>getting to the good part.

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<v Speaker 6>Head on over to the cosmic peach Patreon and make

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00:29:44.200 --> 00:29:48.079
<v Speaker 6>your reservation to Room two three seven to enjoy the

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<v Speaker 6>rest of this episode.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not sure how to get there, Download the app,

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00:29:53.640 --> 00:29:58.519
<v Speaker 2>or go to patreon dot com slash cosmic peach what's

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<v Speaker 2>in Room too three seven? Thanks for asking, Danny.

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<v Speaker 6>Let me show you something see for yourself and uncover

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00:30:07.920 --> 00:30:14.759
<v Speaker 6>bonus content. Extended versions of episodes add free content, early

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00:30:14.960 --> 00:30:21.799
<v Speaker 6>access to every single episode, all videos and personal updates,

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00:30:21.880 --> 00:30:26.039
<v Speaker 6>and just whatever else I'm in the mood for. There

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00:30:26.079 --> 00:30:30.880
<v Speaker 6>are plenty of amenities to enjoy while checked in.

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<v Speaker 2>To Room two three seven.

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<v Speaker 6>Take a trip up the sidewinder and stay a while.

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<v Speaker 2>You can check out.

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<v Speaker 6>Anytime you'd like, but you can never leave, just kidding.

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<v Speaker 6>Thank you in advance for supporting the show, and I

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<v Speaker 6>can't wait to see you over there.

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<v Speaker 5>Some people up down on me on Gamma Ribs have

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<v Speaker 5>them putting in home on y'all with the baby on

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<v Speaker 5>my hip, call sign me reb neck Wondlan. I ain't

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<v Speaker 5>no high class rocks. I'm just proud out upper rings

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<v Speaker 5>and I say, hey, y'all anyhome now? Keep my Christmas

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<v Speaker 5>lights on on my brother baw to one long now

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<v Speaker 5>all the words every charming Daniel's song. So here's to

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<v Speaker 5>all my sisters out there keeping that country. Let me

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<v Speaker 5>get the big hem here from the room neck girls

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<v Speaker 5>at me. Hell yeah,