Speaker 1: Baby, I'm a Gangstato. It takes a little tangle. You
Speaker 1: mess with me, Mess with me, baby, I'm a GANGSTERA
Speaker 1: touch baby, you're a gamesterato.
Speaker 2: For good warning.
Speaker 3: This podcast is designed to take you outside of your
Speaker 3: comfort zone and make you question reality. Listener discretion is
Speaker 3: a vibe they fellas.
Speaker 2: This ain't my first time at the rodeos. Hello, and
Speaker 2: welcome back. They're taking a small break from violent beehole
Speaker 2: rape today maybe, and we're venturing into the world of
Speaker 2: the unknown. I haven't done an episode like this in
Speaker 2: a while, and my husband kind of inspired me to
Speaker 2: take a walk on the wild side. So here we are.
Speaker 2: How has how has twenty twenty six been treating you guys?
Speaker 2: Pretty good so far. I don't have any recommendations for
Speaker 2: you guys for documentaries or movies or anything right now.
Speaker 2: So let's just talk about life a little bit. How
Speaker 2: about that. Let's just talk about life a little bit.
Speaker 2: We're friends, right, we can have these conversations together. My
Speaker 2: baby is already four months old. I can't even believe it.
Speaker 2: I am thoroughly enjoying each stage of his development. I
Speaker 2: know I'm supposed to be like, oh no, my baby's
Speaker 2: getting bigger and pretty soon he won't be a baby anymore. Ah.
Speaker 2: I know, like that's what I'm supposed to be like.
Speaker 2: But I will tell you something straight up. I took
Speaker 2: lots and lots of newborn pictures and it's a sweet
Speaker 2: and a gentle time that I will cherish forever. But
Speaker 2: y'all are fucking crazy to want to have a little
Speaker 2: newborn suspended in time forever. Fucking nuts. Let me tell
Speaker 2: you something. My baby never had like that little useless
Speaker 2: newborn body that's all like scrunched up in adorable. My
Speaker 2: baby came out of the utero, lifting his head up,
Speaker 2: looking around. Within fucking hours of being out of the vagina,
Speaker 2: still had some crusty puss juice on his forehead. He's
Speaker 2: looking around, kicking his legs, stretching his arms. Wasn't long
Speaker 2: before he was trying to fucking stand up and hold
Speaker 2: his own bottle and shit, maybe like a week or two.
Speaker 2: He loves to practice standing, and lucky for us, he
Speaker 2: also had and probably still has a horrible colic, horrible
Speaker 2: horrible colic, okay, and gas and shit. So if he
Speaker 2: wasn't sleeping, he was screaming at the top of his lungs,
Speaker 2: and it just felt like it never never stopped. Okay,
Speaker 2: Plus on top of that, even though I knew he
Speaker 2: was a super strong baby, I was just scared to
Speaker 2: death that I was gonna hurt him in some way, Like,
Speaker 2: am I holding his head right? Is the bathtub water
Speaker 2: too hot? Am I doing this? Am I doing that?
Speaker 2: Had to change his formula like five or six times?
Speaker 2: He cried every two hours on the fucking dot all
Speaker 2: night long. I felt like I was at death's door literally,
Speaker 2: like the last three months. It's just now starting to
Speaker 2: feel a little bit more manageable with the sleep and
Speaker 2: eat schedule and shit.
Speaker 4: But who the fuck, I mean, really, who the fuck
Speaker 4: wants the newborn stage to last forever?
Speaker 2: Fuck that? Okay, I absolutely cannot wait to eat spaghetti
Speaker 2: with my boy. I can't wait to communicate with him
Speaker 2: and take him to do fun things. That's what I'm
Speaker 2: looking forward to. I can't wait to watch unsolved mysteries
Speaker 2: with him and have movie nights and shit, and you know,
Speaker 2: have some semblance of communications. He gets so fucking frustrated
Speaker 2: playing with his toys. He's four months old. If he
Speaker 2: can't roll or move or get the toy, he wants
Speaker 2: or do whatever, whatever the fuck it is he's trying
Speaker 2: to do. Nervous break down if he cannot. I mean,
Speaker 2: it's just I can tell he's trying so hard to
Speaker 2: accomplish the simplest of little tasks and if he's having
Speaker 2: our time with it or if he can't, total fucking
Speaker 2: nervous breakdown. So you know, maybe I'm just a weirdo
Speaker 2: because I don't want my baby to stay in newborn forever.
Speaker 2: I love seeing him develop and acquire new skills and
Speaker 2: because and his personality come out a little bit more
Speaker 2: every day. Love it. I love it. But yes, baby
Speaker 2: is thriving. I'm surviving. If anybody gives a shit, taints
Speaker 2: all healed up as far as I know, But I
Speaker 2: still got like some other weird stuff lingering around. We're friends,
Speaker 2: like I said, So I'm just gonna tell you straight up,
Speaker 2: it's like I'm un understanding many things as I progress
Speaker 2: through the motherhood journey. Okay, Like you ever see a
Speaker 2: couple and maybe they're your friends or something, and you're
Speaker 2: like friend, couple friends, you know, and you're like, how
Speaker 2: the hell did Mike and Tammy end up together? This
Speaker 2: might be a private conversation you have with your husband
Speaker 2: after you guys get done bowling or whatever it is
Speaker 2: you guys do, and you ad and you're looking at
Speaker 2: your husband and you're like, how the fuck did Mike
Speaker 2: and Tammy end up together? Mike's like a solid nine
Speaker 2: and Tammy is a four on a good day, Like
Speaker 2: how And then you realize, or at least I am
Speaker 2: right now, but Tammy done pumped out four kids for
Speaker 2: Mike right and Tammy started out, uh, fucking bombshell ass
Speaker 2: fucking miss Usa looking tight bitch, and then babies happened. Okay,
Speaker 2: Like at some point you think it would have or
Speaker 2: it should have occurred to me, like, oh fuck, my
Speaker 2: husband is gonna stay hot and I'm gonna look like.
Speaker 5: Some people are up down on me. But I don't
Speaker 5: gamble rip.
Speaker 2: I damn that.
Speaker 5: Put it in my home run y'all with the baby
Speaker 5: on my hip because I'm in rest, lonely and I
Speaker 5: ain't no half class rock. I'm just crying out up
Speaker 5: rings and I say, hey, y'all, any.
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm not proud of it, but that's where
Speaker 2: we're at. People. My hairs are literally falling out. I
Speaker 2: have actual bald spots. My skin is all fucked up.
Speaker 2: My titties are totally deflated. I don't even know what's
Speaker 2: going on with my ass. It's like softer, more jiggly,
Speaker 2: but not like I don't even know. I don't even know.
Speaker 2: My belly looks like rising pizza dough, okay, with some
Speaker 2: badass fucking stretch marks. I'm literally jiggly in places you
Speaker 2: definitely shouldn't be. I got like the mom fat arm
Speaker 2: thing going on, and I look over at my husband
Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh fuck, I'm tammy.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: I don't know if you ladies out there were lucky
Speaker 2: enough to marry someone who you thought was completely out
Speaker 2: of your league, But if you did, I'm right there
Speaker 2: with you. Congrats, Welcome to the hot husband's club. My
Speaker 2: husband is just a hottie right, thick ass beard, huge
Speaker 2: blue eyes, dimples, great body, super funny, loves watching movies
Speaker 2: and talking about conspiracies and shit. Just hot, right, just
Speaker 2: fucking hot. What can I say? He recently started running
Speaker 2: on the treadmill. He's just dropping weight like that, just
Speaker 2: dropping wait, super fast, just gets off the treadmill, glistening
Speaker 2: and shit, little sexy sweat beat action going on. Meanwhile,
Speaker 2: back on the ranch, Remember the last time I shaved
Speaker 2: my legs, ass clipped my toenails, a half bald skin
Speaker 2: just fucking rocked. I eat a fucking string cheese my
Speaker 2: belly and flates like a fucking pull floatye uh, And
Speaker 2: it's like, ah fuck, I'm not one of those Facebook
Speaker 2: TikTok moms that has ten babies and just went right
Speaker 2: back to wearing their old pants and shit. I had
Speaker 2: to get a whole new wardrobe up in this bitch, right,
Speaker 2: including shoes. My fucking feet grew. Okay, I'm not. You know,
Speaker 2: there's just some kinds of freaks and nature moms out
Speaker 2: there that can just pump out five kids and still
Speaker 2: wear a two piece to the pool in summertime. Nah, okay,
Speaker 2: Nah not I okay, I've had one one o n
Speaker 2: E one, literally one, and my body's already giving like
Speaker 2: fat adele vibes, like pre ozimbic adele vibes from a one. Right.
Speaker 2: And I'll just be honest with you guys out there,
Speaker 2: if you're a male listener, maybe your wife feels the
Speaker 2: way I do. My husband thinks I have body dysmorphia disorder.
Speaker 2: Well that might be true. I don't know if it
Speaker 2: is or not, but it don't change the fuck the
Speaker 2: fact that I feel like I look like shit. Okay,
Speaker 2: so body dysmorphia are not men? Male listeners out there,
Speaker 2: You got a wife, she kind of feels like I do.
Speaker 2: Maybe she's had a few kids. Do this for me,
Speaker 2: Do this for the old peature. Would you deflated titties,
Speaker 2: flat ass? Whatever she got going on, she got the
Speaker 2: saggy belly, Go up behind her, kiss her on the neck,
Speaker 2: Tell her she's the most beautiful creature you've ever seen.
Speaker 2: You know. Maybe maybe squeeze her a little deflated titty,
Speaker 2: all right, Slap her a little flat, flabby ass, you know,
Speaker 2: make her feel desirable, make her feel like she's the
Speaker 2: most beautiful creature that ever walked the earth. Maybe she's
Speaker 2: like me, and you'd go up behind her, you kiss her,
Speaker 2: you squeeze her a little flat titty, and she's like, ew,
Speaker 2: get off me. What the fuck? Because that's the kind
Speaker 2: of reaction I have, Because let's be honest with each other.
Speaker 2: I'm so disgusted with myself that I cannot believe anybody
Speaker 2: would want to come upon me and squeeze me my
Speaker 2: fucking deflated titty or slap my flabby ass. So just
Speaker 2: give her the grace if she has a reaction like
Speaker 2: I would, just give her the grace that she's going
Speaker 2: through some shit and just make her feel special. Valentine's
Speaker 2: Day is right around the corner. It's never too soon
Speaker 2: to squeeze your wife's flabby titty and smack her flat ass.
Speaker 2: It's never too soon or whatever she's got. You know,
Speaker 2: women come in all shapes and sizes, whatever maladies she
Speaker 2: thinks that she has or has or whatever. Just be
Speaker 2: sweet and kind and gentle, because I will tell you
Speaker 2: I'm not a feminist, but we deserve it. Okay, we're
Speaker 2: hard enough on ourselves already. We're our own worst enemy,
Speaker 2: our own worst critic. And sometimes it's nice to just
Speaker 2: have your husband come behind you, give you a little
Speaker 2: kiss on the neck, squeeze you, you know, jiggle your
Speaker 2: little flat titties around, and just make you feel desirable. Okay,
Speaker 2: that's that's all you can ask for for Valentine's Day.
Speaker 2: But anyways, in the stillness of the quiet evenings with
Speaker 2: my baby though, you know, while my husband is just
Speaker 2: off being a hot guy somewhere at work and I'm
Speaker 2: sitting here with my flabby titties, my baby. I look
Speaker 2: into my baby's eyes and his little, perfect smiling face,
Speaker 2: and I wouldn't change anything. Okay, I can already tell
Speaker 2: he's gonna be a super handsome little dude like his daddy.
Speaker 2: Maybe got a big mouth like his mama. He's got
Speaker 2: the blue eyes and everything. And it occurred to me
Speaker 2: that he loves me un conditionally. He loves me stretch
Speaker 2: marks and all bald spots, saggy titties, whatever. This baby
Speaker 2: looks at me like I am the greatest human being alive,
Speaker 2: and it is just pure love. And what an incredible
Speaker 2: blessing it is to have that. And I'm really learning
Speaker 2: a lot from him. He's he is a very wise,
Speaker 2: very wise little boy, little shaman baby, and you know,
Speaker 2: I am. I know that sounds retarded, but I'm learning
Speaker 2: a lot from him. I am motherhood in general, you know,
Speaker 2: coming around to surrendering to motherhood. Uh, it's changed literally
Speaker 2: every single fragment of my identity. And I'm starting to
Speaker 2: realize that's okay. We're not moving backwards to something that
Speaker 2: used to exist in the past. We're moving forward. And
Speaker 2: it's a completely uncharted territory that we're moving into, and
Speaker 2: I'm starting to realize that's okay, you know, because what
Speaker 2: I'm getting in return is so much more magnificent than
Speaker 2: I can even describe. I love being a mother, but
Speaker 2: it also makes me even more hyper vigilant and sensitive
Speaker 2: to what is going on with kids in the world
Speaker 2: right now. And you know, I think I've said this before,
Speaker 2: but I have and have always had such a passion
Speaker 2: for exposing the truth about child's sex trafficking, you know,
Speaker 2: child sex crimes and all that shit. Okay, but it
Speaker 2: hits very, very different having my own Okay, Yes, I know,
Speaker 2: I'm one person and there's only so much I can do,
Speaker 2: but I do not want to go down with a
Speaker 2: guilty conscience knowing I knew about all this shit, researched
Speaker 2: all this shit, and never did my part to bring
Speaker 2: any sort of awareness all those nameless, faceless babies out
Speaker 2: there getting raped, murdered, trafficked and mutilated as we speak, right,
Speaker 2: and yet it's a topic people cringe at the thought
Speaker 2: of of avoid even you know, if possible, they won't
Speaker 2: even bring it up. Okay, if I had a dollar
Speaker 2: for every time I heard, oh, I just can't. That
Speaker 2: stuff gives me nightmares. What do you think the kids
Speaker 2: are having that are going through this stuff? You think
Speaker 2: they go to sleep at night and dream of puppies
Speaker 2: and shit? Probably not sorry to disturb your peace in
Speaker 2: your nice, peaceful sleep, all cozy, snuggled up on your
Speaker 2: temper petic, But there's some babies out there right now
Speaker 2: as you're listening to this, getting train ran on right
Speaker 2: in their bee hole by disgusting hairy old dudes with
Speaker 2: saggy gross balls, probably a politician you voted for that
Speaker 2: you think is so wonderful. Okay, it just putrifies my
Speaker 2: stomach thinking about it, But that's, you know, another episode.
Speaker 2: I promised we wouldn't talk about be whole rape today,
Speaker 2: but I just had to get that little bit out
Speaker 2: of my system. So let's just get to the topic
Speaker 2: of the hour, shall we, Now that we've got our
Speaker 2: little therapy session out of the way. And you know,
Speaker 2: I love you guys. We're all besties out here, and
Speaker 2: if you can't be honest with your besties, who the
Speaker 2: fuck are you gonna be honest with? So let's go
Speaker 2: ahead and move on right the topic of the hour.
Speaker 2: So I've kind of mentioned in the Mystery Crotched Me
Speaker 2: episode that I lived in Kentucky for most of my childhood,
Speaker 2: and my mom's side of the family, which is really
Speaker 2: my only side of the family, is all born and
Speaker 2: bred Kentuckians. My MoMA and popall talked about as flat
Speaker 2: as it comes. Their accents were so thick it was
Speaker 2: like another language almost. I would even have to ask
Speaker 2: my mom what some words and shit meant, Like my
Speaker 2: popa was on par with Boomhower. Just so flat and
Speaker 2: so thick was the accent you needed like special kind
Speaker 2: of ears to understand that shit. Sometimes and my family's says,
Speaker 2: this is my family, Okay, they say that I have
Speaker 2: a hybrid accent, because yes, I grew up in Kentucky
Speaker 2: and most of my family has beautiful Southern draws. But
Speaker 2: I also spent a lot of time in Ohio and
Speaker 2: they have their own entire whole different accent going on.
Speaker 2: So maybe I have a hybrid. I don't know. This
Speaker 2: is besides the point though. Oh and by the way,
Speaker 2: just so you know, I don't think I have an
Speaker 2: accent at all, So there's that. But you know, actually,
Speaker 2: there are moments when my husband tries to correct words
Speaker 2: that I say, and I realized I might be pretty
Speaker 2: fucked up. Okay, apparently I say family or wrong, and
Speaker 2: I don't even know how the fuck outse to say
Speaker 2: it for me, something's familiar to you, How the fuck
Speaker 2: euse do you say that it's familiar familiar? Anyways, Anyways,
Speaker 2: so I grew up listening and being completely fascinated by
Speaker 2: all these stories of where my grandparents grew up right
Speaker 2: directly in the heart of the Appalachian Mountains, in what
Speaker 2: they called a haller no running water, no electricities, just
Speaker 2: dirt floors and like little squalor type shacks and uh
Speaker 2: my grandpa worked in the coal mines and they literally
Speaker 2: had no shoes for the kids sometimes and barely anything
Speaker 2: to eat, which is why they moved north through Ohio
Speaker 2: for like better opportunities and shit. But they brought with
Speaker 2: them all these stories of paranorm supernatural, almost witchy encounters.
Speaker 2: Some of the shit was downright terrifying, and apparently Appalachian
Speaker 2: witch magic and all types of fucking cryptids and creatures
Speaker 2: are common knowledge to some people. All of Appalachia, not
Speaker 2: just Kentucky obviously, is filled with these stories. But personally
Speaker 2: I can remember being really little and hearing stories of
Speaker 2: what sounded like some dog man type stuff running rampant
Speaker 2: through the mountains. And my great grandpa Troy was apparently
Speaker 2: some kind of a healer on some kind of like
Speaker 2: Appalachian witch doctor type shit, and he would whisper some
Speaker 2: kind kind of little chant and lay hands on you
Speaker 2: and whatever was wrong with you would be healed. And
Speaker 2: so some of the practices I've been researching.
Speaker 4: Almost have.
Speaker 2: In a cult like witchy undertone to them. They call
Speaker 2: it Appalachian folk magic, and some people call it granny magic,
Speaker 2: but I never heard that term before. It just is,
Speaker 2: it just was what it was. They described it to
Speaker 2: me when I was little. They would tell me stories
Speaker 2: and stuff, but they never had like a name for
Speaker 2: what they were doing. But it fascinated me learning about
Speaker 2: this stuff. And I'm going to spare you the details
Speaker 2: on each and every cryptid said to lurk within the
Speaker 2: Appellation Mountains because some of this that some of the
Speaker 2: ship is just silly, all right, it's just silly. I
Speaker 2: host a conspiracy theory podcast. Yeah, some of this ship
Speaker 2: is just silly. Sorry it is. You want to listen
Speaker 2: to a crypto podcast so you can go find them
Speaker 2: there out there. But this, this is the realness right here,
Speaker 2: This is the real shit. And that's why you listen
Speaker 2: to my podcast. We're gonna skip all the silly cattawompissing
Speaker 2: and get straight to the biscuits and gravy. I want
Speaker 2: to talk about the real stuff. I want to talk
Speaker 2: about the magic. I want to talk about things that
Speaker 2: have been documented, things that are compelling. And we're just
Speaker 2: gonna get right into it. By the way, Appalachia's wasn't
Speaker 2: that like Prince's wife's name Appalachia? Anyways? The Appalachian Mountains
Speaker 2: host numerous weird sightings from mysterious brown mountain lights, glowing
Speaker 2: orbs as they say, to cryptids like mothman bigfoot like creatures,
Speaker 2: alongside reports of unexplained phenomenon like strange noises, figures with
Speaker 2: bark like skin, disembodied voices, and these are often linked
Speaker 2: to local folklore. In the region's ancient mysterious geography, Hikers
Speaker 2: on the Appalachian Trail frequently report encounters with glowing eyes,
Speaker 2: shadowy figures, or even being lifted, while local legends mention
Speaker 2: curses and encounters with other worldly beings. Now, this is
Speaker 2: why we're here. This is what we're going to get
Speaker 2: into today. So the area I'm referring to, Appalaysia is
Speaker 2: where is it? It is a mountain range that reaches
Speaker 2: from Alabama to Pennsylvania, as well as the surrounding area
Speaker 2: you know, where people live and shit. But the mountains
Speaker 2: themselves are believed to be four hundred and eighty million
Speaker 2: years old. And according to this one article I read,
Speaker 2: that's older than the supposed rings of Saturn if you
Speaker 2: believe in that shit. But it is also older than trees,
Speaker 2: like literally, like the entire species of trees. That's how
Speaker 2: old these mountains are. So if you pass through them,
Speaker 2: maybe on the famous Appalachian Trail, you may feel the
Speaker 2: Earth's ancientness. They're older than we can reasonably wrap our
Speaker 2: heads around, and maybe that's why there's so much that
Speaker 2: happens there that people just cannot explain. Those are the
Speaker 2: stories and warnings that have been passed on for generations,
Speaker 2: and that is why we are here today. But before
Speaker 2: we move on, only those cosmic peach listeners true of
Speaker 2: heart may continue beyond this point. Oh yeah, we're just
Speaker 2: getting to the good part.
Speaker 6: Head on over to the cosmic peach Patreon and make
Speaker 6: your reservation to Room two three seven to enjoy the
Speaker 6: rest of this episode.
Speaker 2: I'm not sure how to get there, Download the app,
Speaker 2: or go to patreon dot com slash cosmic peach what's
Speaker 2: in Room too three seven? Thanks for asking, Danny.
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Speaker 2: To Room two three seven.
Speaker 6: Take a trip up the sidewinder and stay a while.
Speaker 2: You can check out.
Speaker 6: Anytime you'd like, but you can never leave, just kidding.
Speaker 6: Thank you in advance for supporting the show, and I
Speaker 6: can't wait to see you over there.
Speaker 5: Some people up down on me on Gamma Ribs have
Speaker 5: them putting in home on y'all with the baby on
Speaker 5: my hip, call sign me reb neck Wondlan. I ain't
Speaker 5: no high class rocks. I'm just proud out upper rings
Speaker 5: and I say, hey, y'all anyhome now? Keep my Christmas
Speaker 5: lights on on my brother baw to one long now
Speaker 5: all the words every charming Daniel's song. So here's to
Speaker 5: all my sisters out there keeping that country. Let me
Speaker 5: get the big hem here from the room neck girls
Speaker 5: at me. Hell yeah,