Speaker 1: When your old career gives you lemons throwing some ice
mix in some vodka colored a podcast from the Mac
of All Trade Studio in Fairport and driven by Victor
Chrysler Dots Jupe ram It's Billified the Bill Moran Podcast.
Speaker 2: Hello and welcome. Thanks for getting your pot on. Thank
you for telling a friend.
Speaker 3: That's how we spread the word about the pirate ship.
Speaker 2: Oh I'm excited about today.
Speaker 3: You know, sometimes a small innocent moment on the Internet
accidentally opens a full blown existential conversation.
Speaker 4: Full blown.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: A few weeks ago, a friend of mine, someone you
may remember from the podcast, posted something on Facebook that
fell simple enough.
Speaker 2: It really did.
Speaker 3: She wrote that she had two beautiful, successful girlfriends who
couldn't find a man. They were fun, loyal, smart, and single.
She asked interested men to comment, not message, and said
the women would browse Facebook and reach out if they
found someone intriguing. YEP, it already feels like a really
bold experiment to me, and kind of like a group project.
None of us asked for what happened next. Over two
hundred and fifty comments, not DM's comments.
Speaker 4: I'm going to pull up the total views because I
can see that internally?
Speaker 2: Okay, how you keep going public?
Speaker 3: Men putting them out there themselves out there, women watching quietly,
married friends grabbing popcorn. They were all on there, group chats,
lighting up like it was a live sporting event.
Speaker 5: Nineteen thousand local people, holy shit, clicked red stock.
Speaker 4: But didn't you know leave a ca so nineteen thousand.
Speaker 5: Wow, I was at a part and people like kid
just everybody was talking about and browsing the men.
Speaker 2: So what does it say about dating right now?
Speaker 3: About loneliness, about standards, about starting over in your late
thirties and forties, when you're confident enough to know what
you want but tired enough to not want any kind
of bullshit. This episode isn't about answers. It's more about
the curiosity. And Stephanie is here someone who's life changed
in very real ways from the time we spent together
on the podcast a couple of years ago. I don't know,
I think this is like crazy what happened, But I'd
rather go back to kind of to you because we
had you on the podcast and you were one of
the most popular people.
Speaker 4: I had so much fun and.
Speaker 2: You were not dating at the time.
Speaker 5: Well I was dating.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, you were dating, but you weren't serious with somebody. Yeah,
you weren't serious with somebody, and then you met Mike,
right yeah, and from there, I mean, that's been how
many years now, we'll be.
Speaker 5: Together three years May first, Wow?
Speaker 2: A lot of time, yeah, by yeah.
Speaker 5: And you see love coming on the show.
Speaker 2: You're welcome any time. You know that.
Speaker 3: There was always open, but like, and I didn't want
to have the whole crew in for this because I
kind of wanted to take a look at this in
a little bit of a deeper way and I didn't
want them, you know, well, the jokes flying.
Speaker 5: And someone we can you on the phone set.
Speaker 4: I don't want any penis jokes fly.
Speaker 2: And that's I think I said. I don't want any
dick jokes, is what. I know. I know what And
it's just that because it's a serious thing. But going
back to you, you're the real estate is blown up
for you.
Speaker 5: I saw this record sale. Wow at Christmas Eve.
Speaker 2: Christmas Eve, I got.
Speaker 5: An offer accepted for five point two million dollars. Oh
my god, the personal record. So I just posted it today.
It took me a.
Speaker 2: Good Is that the blue House? Yes?
Speaker 5: God, it's just beautiful where is it Canada.
Speaker 2: Oh I'm the lake yeah, oh my waterfront.
Speaker 5: Oh but it was such a big career when I
didn't want to brag about it. I didn't want to
make other realtors feel bad about themselves. And I also
didn't want normal consumers not to call me to list
their house because I think, oh, my house is just
four hundred. No, I would love to list your house
after fifty whatever. Yeah, so I didn't want to push
people away. But then so month passes, I'm like, I
really should talk about this because this is a career milestone.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I sold the five million dollar lake house a close.
Speaker 2: Wow, that's impressive.
Speaker 4: And I love what I do. I love all price points.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I understand that, and and and in real
estate you have to write you're not you know?
Speaker 2: Is that one you know?
Speaker 3: Or are there people who diguess just dealing a million
plus fro some sell.
Speaker 4: To a year, that's it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, five million dollars lake houses, that's cruise control. Yeah,
so I can do higher volume selling fifty and make
more money. Sure, And a lot of people will think, oh,
just because you sell an expensive house, you're smarter, you're better.
You're not. It just maybe you're just you're you have connections,
you got to all kill, you sell a couple of year,
and you're happy you're part time. I like the grind
and I like to help everyone, and I want to
be busy and stop. I do twelve to eight and
hour days in the spring and I love it. I'm
not complaining, no, I know, and I like the grind.
Speaker 3: I there's something about that because I had to come
to terms myself with a lot of things in terms
of you know, it isn't about working harder. It's definitely
about working smarter. But when you love what you do,
you're going to just do it all the time. And
I think for many, many many years for me, I
have just worked NonStop radio. I did all the time
because I wanted to be I wanted to be the best.
Speaker 2: I wanted to be number one.
Speaker 4: While you're pivoting, though.
Speaker 3: I am pivoting, and I'm and I'm I'll tell you
like I'm looking to you. I'm changing things up for sure,
and I'm looking to combine some things and I'm looking
to make something that is less of a service and
more of a system and something that's scalable. So you
know what, I mean like service to me is we're
talking about today's news, today's sports today is.
Speaker 2: That it's disposable. It's what radio was this.
Speaker 3: So I'm looking to pivot away from that slightly a
little bit and do more things like this or I
didn't help people, yes, and that's the thing, and I
just did one.
Speaker 2: I had a night.
Speaker 3: Where I got extremely intoxicated the urinal night.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes yes. I was so drunk.
Speaker 3: How bad I mean, I was slurring so badly in
that video that was the opening of Damien's second location. Yeah, okay,
so I uh so I was so drunk and there
was so much stuff happening sort of at once that
I was very cold to someone that I didn't mean
to be via text, via text, and the next day
I apologized. I got no response, and then I sent
a text later in the day just about something completely.
Speaker 2: Different and that's how we are. And then I.
Speaker 3: Got a response. A couple of days I got a response,
and the response was basically like I'm crushed, you crushed
me or whatever it was, so which made me feel
like piece of shit, and I backed off.
Speaker 2: And just let I go. I don't want to apologize,
so I started happened.
Speaker 3: No, I understand. So I didn't want to be one
of these I apologize.
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3: I already apologized, right, you become that To me, that's
sort of a sign of weakness when you start doing
that over and over. But it made me really think,
and so I came in here and I did a
podcast on alcohol and why it's not an excuse for
bad behavior. Alcohol doesn't make you behave badly. It gets
rid of your internal brake system, which is your inhibitions,
and so you do things and say things and some
people go, well, it's not a truth serum.
Speaker 2: It's not. It's just in the moment.
Speaker 3: And a lot of times we carry a lot of
baggage as people, and when something is in front of
you and that old baggage gets hit and you've never
dealt with it, it carries a lot of weight and it
comes really hard, right, And so those are the things
that you know, And so I did a whole podcast
on that. I'm like, this is the direction they need
to circle.
Speaker 5: And that's why I don't have the baggage. If you
have it, you can get rid of it by talking
to someone that do like a couler.
Speaker 2: Yes, and eventually that.
Speaker 4: Though, so you're more pleasant drunk.
Speaker 3: I mean that's right exactly. I mean so, I don't know.
It was just it was strange, but I thought, that's
kind of the way I need to start doing things
that are ever green. What if someone finds this podcast
in five years will have value to them.
Speaker 5: I like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And so that's where I'm that's where I'm headed,
And I eventually want to buy a building. I want
to put offices in there that I can rent out.
I want to put studios in there. I want somewhat
of an event space, and we'll.
Speaker 2: Go from there.
Speaker 4: I just thought of some wild idea.
Speaker 5: What if there's people that want help, but they'd be
willing to publicly raise their hand and you help them, Yeah,
on the air live.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I meant it could be like a journey of their transformation.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it would be amazing. That would be absolutely amazing.
And I think that's something that like you could do
as a teachable.
Speaker 5: And that would tie in with both businesses.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and That's what I'm looking to do. And so
we'll see how things go down the road. When you
were here last I don't remember actually but when you
were on sometimes we had made a lot of fun
of the fact that you wrote songs.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, break up songs and all kinds of stuff.
Speaker 4: I've been writing songs with my whole life.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, and did nothing with them or what.
Speaker 4: The problem is. If I'm honest, my voice is like
a six point eight.
Speaker 5: Out of ten. Okay, and now there's so much technology,
just like filters with a girl looking hotter. Yeah, I
can put filters and edit my voice. So the tech
is here where it can be me singing and Mike
actually does it in the background, adjusting my voice to
sound good like auto tuning, but you don't want it
to sound fake. And then there's me training it where
I'll like work on a couple of notes then he
can make it.
Speaker 4: So it took forever.
Speaker 5: It was a year and a half, a year and
a half to to write. So I have breakup songs,
I have songs about getting old and what it's like
to go at the bar. But I actually wrote a
song about loss, like losing a child, or you could
apply it to losing like a love, like a spouse
or a partner.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: When you say loss, like are you talking death? Are
you talking all different kinds of so even loss of
like a divorce or a right.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so there's not a lot of songs about like,
for example, if you have a miscarriage, you know, or
you lose a two year old, what what song do
you jam out to? And I know that sounds weird,
but when I'm in pain, I like to belt, cry
and sing. And the Arms of the Angel just isn't
getting it, like it's it's kind of lame.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 3: There's a song Bonnie Rape put out recently.
Speaker 4: Oh I listened to the same old eighties rock.
Speaker 3: Yeah no, no, no, but she put out recently and
I should try to find it while we're talking, because
that is I think.
Speaker 2: It was about what I thought it was about a
missing break up. Oh no, you know what this song
was about.
Speaker 3: This song is about the loss of a son or
a daughter and having their organs donated and then the
person come back.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I don't know if she wrote it. Yeah, I'm gonna
play for you either way.
Speaker 5: There's not like a huge.
Speaker 3: No no, no, there's not no because nobody wants to
get who's writing these songs.
Speaker 2: I am fucking sad.
Speaker 5: I am so I wrote a sad song. About loss
and now I mean it's done, it's fully produced. I'm
going to have a different stage name. I've decided. I'm
not ready to quite announce it in case I go okay, correction.
But actually this weekend and next weekend, Mike and I
are going to film the music video.
Speaker 2: Uh to our song, and we're gonna.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna put on Spotify iTunes like.
Speaker 2: You are for it, like really for real, and I don't.
Speaker 5: Care if thirteen people see it or what if it
blows up?
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, I agree.
Speaker 5: You know, so it's going to really.
Speaker 2: I think it's called out there.
Speaker 3: I think Bonnie Rats song is called just like that.
Let me just see if this is the song?
Speaker 5: What interesting concept the organ donation.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a pretty sad song, but it's.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 7: I'll watched them circle around bla blah. Finally stopped in mind.
Speaker 5: What you're she released.
Speaker 6: Before and n lock like all I had was time.
Speaker 5: Excuse me, ma'am, maybe you want to help.
Speaker 7: The directions weren't so clear. I'm looking for Olivia, say.
Speaker 6: This said, I might find her here.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do too. Every time I hear this, I
don't listen.
Speaker 7: To this hard and asked him what she's got he's
looking for?
Speaker 6: Said that something I think she'd want to know when
I let him in the door. It's not like me
to trust so quick, called me by surprise.
Speaker 2: What's something about him? Gave me?
Speaker 8: But there in his eye, just like that, you love
and change.
Speaker 5: If I had him.
Speaker 7: Looked away, my boy might still be whim Now it's
been twenty five today.
Speaker 5: No not, I can come with estay.
Speaker 7: Or drink and drown regret. They say Jesus brings you
peace and gray, but he ain't found me.
Speaker 2: Right, I mean, how human is this?
Speaker 6: Though?
Speaker 5: I like it, but you can't really see.
Speaker 2: No, No, you cannot.
Speaker 5: I'm sad. I want to that.
Speaker 2: This is this is this?
Speaker 5: I like? Yeah, I like.
Speaker 4: I want a song.
Speaker 2: I know you want death.
Speaker 4: I wrote, you know, I wrote a single Blend.
Speaker 2: I'm a little blood in my face.
Speaker 6: This is the part I heard about the song you lost,
how you left without a tree.
Speaker 7: It's just trying to find you so I could fun
let you know. It was your songs hard to save me.
Speaker 5: In a life you gave us booth.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then from there at the end of the song, yeah,
I know, And then she talks about putting her head
on his chest and listening to the heartbeat.
Speaker 5: I love those deep songs.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, And I know what you're talking about. Yes,
So tell me more about your song, because it does
sound like it's deep to me.
Speaker 5: It's deep about loss that I can apply to all
the different ways you can lose a child.
Speaker 4: I had three miscarriages, and the third one, I mean
I had to call nine one one. It was real
bad and.
Speaker 5: I don't need to go in depth about it. But
there's a lot of women that experience that. They even
you know, they lose a child, a one year old
and a car accident, sixteen kids to cancer, So I
know a whole bunch of people with different stories, you know,
even divorce, like even if you have your kids fifty
to fifty, you miss out on half of their life.
And in some cases it's there, they're gone, they move away. Yes,
there's a lot of different ways you can lose a
child to drugs.
Speaker 4: So I just felt like writing.
Speaker 2: Where is this okay about loss?
Speaker 5: You know, because I have so many breakup songs and
I'll watch a movie or I'll get an idea or
think of something in my soul. But when I'm sad,
I want to belt it out and sing.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So this is a belted out of the scene
kind of to me.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I sing it in the car and.
Speaker 2: I yeah, I can't wait to hear this.
Speaker 5: So we're just gonna make the video.
Speaker 2: And then you're going to release the video. Yeah, this
is I.
Speaker 5: Have different scenes. I've been playing with AI and I
wish I could just like have AI me, but the
text not there, right, you can't say, hey, sing my song.
I kind of look like an alien like we played
with it. I'm like, this isn't really gonna work. I'm
gonna have to really record and then I'm overweight. You know,
I got a whole separate thyroid issue thing going on.
I've been, you know, trying to eat healthier.
Speaker 2: And I saw because I wanted to be.
Speaker 5: The stupid thyroid thing. But it's like I didn't want
to film the video, you know, at the size I
wanted to shrink. Yeah, well, I don't want to wait
another year to film the video. I don't think, Okay,
I'm curvy, you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well I never okay, I don't know. You can't comment.
I don't know whether to comment. I thought you looked great.
You look fantastic, but.
Speaker 5: I wanted to be smaller. It's gonna take me at
the rate with my thyroid if I lose one pound
a month, Like.
Speaker 2: What's going on?
Speaker 3: Here's the thing that I have to say about you
that is absolutely amazing. You just talked about something that
really sets I can't imagine. I have absolutely no way
to relate to three miscarriages. I don't I met my
wife that I that I'm aware. I've never had one
when I was married, and we have three sons. But
that is some heavy, heavy stuff a lot of people,
and yet the happiness and the laughter and then I know,
you know your breakup, you were in the public eye,
you know, right, and so your marriage dissolves, and then
but you go on, I mean, where does that?
Speaker 2: What is that?
Speaker 5: With every loss, the grass got greener, you know, the
sky got blurer. And I really believe everyone should enjoy
every single day of their life. Yeah, And like, I'm
the type of person if my flights cancel, then I'm
stuck in Chicago. I'm not screaming, yelling, pissed off. I'm like,
I guess I'm meant to explore Chicago today. You know,
even I've had a lot of bad, a lot of
fucked up things happening in my life.
Speaker 2: I'm aware, and I don't want.
Speaker 5: To turn things into gold. Yeah, I just try to
find a way to see the good. Yeah, you know,
I wish everyone was like.
Speaker 3: I have a mantra because I've been doing something called
the five Minute Journal, and the five minute Journal in
the morning asks you questions and it's like three things
or at the end of yeah, three things you're grateful for, right,
and then it's what do you hope happens today? And
then it's like your mantra. My mantra always is and
has been for almost a year. Everything that everything is
happening is always good. And even if something doesn't go
the right way, only good will come, you know what
I mean, even if something feers awful, that only good
will come. And that's exactly what you're saying. I mean,
I don't remember the well I.
Speaker 5: Was watching one night, which I'm I've always been positive
my whole life, but this really hopefully, like listeners, this
will really change. I was laying about it couldn't sleep
and it was like a planet Earth, you know, and
it started one hundred million years ago, and they said,
whatever event happened, and then the timeline scrolls, it freaking
fly scrolls past eighty million years like it was nothing,
and they're like twenty million years ago. So I'm watching
a show like try to digest that eighty million years nothing.
Speaker 4: To talk about? What are we respects?
Speaker 5: Yeah, why aren't we starting that business? Why aren't we
asking the whole out? Why aren't we dancing?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 5: Why why are we happy?
Speaker 2: That's it? Great?
Speaker 3: I mean that's so true, and I think like that's
a great way to get into your podcast thing because.
Speaker 2: Why aren't you asking that.
Speaker 3: That girl out, that guy out, personnel, whoever it is, because.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you have to lose.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it's it's it's absolutely amazing. And that
was because I'm going in my head when I saw
when I saw the with the post that you put up,
I was like, what was the moment?
Speaker 2: Like why, because.
Speaker 3: Well, you decide to post that, but why aren't they
doing it for themselves? Do you understand what I'm saying
going to your theory that you just said or your
your statement of yeah, why aren't you asking that guy out?
Speaker 2: I know one of the women chased.
Speaker 5: They want to be chased, and men they like to
chase and so over the holidays. I mean these one
of the very successful. Like I'm like too hot, and
there's not a lot of hot successful men that are
good in our town. Like, there's got to be some
guys all over the country.
Speaker 4: They could clean up if they they moved here.
Speaker 5: And I was at an event and I looked around
and I think I counted thirty eight like hot women,
like the way they dressed and like hot.
Speaker 4: And I looked around and I saw two handsome men
the thirty eight.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: And if you really go out of a bar, like
look at the good looking women that come in, and look,
there's a lot of trolls, and look at the guys
on my post.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just.
Speaker 5: Some I'm like, you think you're hot and successful, and
these aren't gold diggers. But the problem is is they
want somebody bigger than them.
Speaker 3: And actually, I who does these ladies, yes.
Speaker 5: Right, because they want a guy that has worked harder
than they have, because they still want to be inferior
in some way. They don't want to be the leader.
Some guy wrote on there that these women are messing
up with the balance of some big fancy word the
way society is supposed to be that they're dudes. Yeah,
but so like that was firing women up. But the
natural but he's right on some level or the natural
level is the men are supposed to be the breadwinner leaders.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean some people will get upset and say
that's a misogynistic thing.
Speaker 2: You have to be confident. I think that.
Speaker 3: I think that's the one thing that's really missing for
most people is confidence and not so much cocky. And
I think confidence comes more with age. Cockiness is when
you're younger, right, and because it's almost a mask for
what you should be confident about, but you're not. And
I think you know that confidence comes with age and
not everything is a put down to you, a slam
to you. No one's here to really fuck with you
like that, you know what I mean. And so when
you see a woman who's successful and she does well
and she busts her ass, why but yes, I understand,
I do.
Speaker 5: And then so I had some kind of messages of
some guys that are more like total package and they're embarrassed.
They they were afraid to say interested. They're like, well,
if they're hot, send them my screen Screensho.
Speaker 3: Why why do you think that was because they don't
want their buddies to know their jobs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because it is kind of public.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was public, you know, and they don't want
to get made fun of. So so many people chickened out.
But I did have some successful matches. You did, yeah,
because the problem is just like that you know that page,
like are we dating the same guy?
Speaker 2: Yeah, some of the.
Speaker 5: Girls got talking like he's a loser, he's this.
Speaker 2: Then really they knew some of these guys. Oh god,
this is amazing. What do you expecting? Like what ten
twenty comments? I don't know. I don't know, okay.
Speaker 5: But I have some really really great catches, Like I
wish I could say their names, like they're all very pretty.
Speaker 2: They all make it your friends women.
Speaker 5: So I said two, But then I mean that was
just being me like whatever. Then I'm like, oh my god,
I have thirteen like I said too, But there was
like thirteen that I was messaging the screenshots like it
was my full time job.
Speaker 4: For like three days.
Speaker 5: Yeah, like there was like we were investigating guys and yeah,
yeah it was intense.
Speaker 3: Why didn't you that's that's interesting? Okay, so you do? Yes,
all right? Yes, okay, because we have. Here's the thing
that I don't fully understand. Okay, and maybe you know
this from your friends or maybe you know from your
own experience. Is it actually harder to meet people or different?
And I say that because.
Speaker 5: We have where do you meet people?
Speaker 2: The bar?
Speaker 5: But there's the culinaries.
Speaker 2: But well think about it. No, I understand, but I'm not.
Speaker 3: Uh, but we have meetups bowling, but there's dating apps
and there's there's me you have a meetup on your page?
I do you have a singles that you said from like.
Speaker 5: Where do you go? So?
Speaker 2: Why does it feel so hard? Though?
Speaker 3: That's what I don't understand? Like, I guess, you know what,
Let me rephrase that. I guess I do understand because
a lot of people that were talking about an age
bracket where most of the people are divorced, and when
you're divorced, there's a good chance that you have children.
And if you have the children, you've got to make
them the priority.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 3: I learned the hard way from my separation that I
didn't do it the right way. It was no one
hundred percent, but it wasn't done correctly. And I see
that now with you know, especially with some with some
of my kids.
Speaker 4: I need a time machine too.
Speaker 2: Yeah it's not so much. Yeah, it's not so much that.
Speaker 3: But it was like I remember in the early two thousands,
maybe around the tens, maybe a little before that, when
Gwyneth Paltrow got divorced and she called it conscious uncoupling,
and people made from.
Speaker 2: Ruth this fucking bitch blah blah blah.
Speaker 3: Blah, and I go, that may be the greatest thing
ever said, because you you know, and her kids are
now older. But it's hard and it's hard to do that.
So dating adds a new wrinkle.
Speaker 5: It's tough.
Speaker 3: And when do you meet the kids? And whndy you
not And some people just go, you don't have time
for me, you're not available.
Speaker 5: Then there's the whole like the fifty two year old
man with let's just say fat slobby ex wife that
he was never getting sex. Let's just say she was
a letter. What he wants some young, hot girl that
doesn't have babies.
Speaker 4: He wants to go hook up with the smoke shows.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and a lot there's a lot of girls. They'll
buy their way through.
Speaker 4: Hey, you want to leave a ton, I'll take you
out to.
Speaker 5: Dinner and the girl will get the purse and like
they're going through their horror face and then they realize,
I need a woman I can connect with.
Speaker 4: There's more than that.
Speaker 5: It's a face, So what face do you catch the
guy in? He's got to burn through the young hotties
and then he gets more realistic and then it's like
who is.
Speaker 4: He gonna grab up? And when is he ready?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I feel like do women do that as well?
Speaker 5: They do.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you find like the young hot guy, yeah, sure.
Speaker 5: Yeah, like they want the young hot, dumb guy that
they're like, oh, buy you a ticket to Miami. They
do the same thing. They're trying to spoil it too. Yeah,
and they joke they want the hard private parts in
the six pack, you know, and then they realize, wait,
this is embarrassing to my children, or I didn't want
a guy that knows how to fix something or something
that's more my age. And they go through the same thing, right,
So it's already a small pool and then what phase.
Speaker 2: Are they at and what phase are they at? Well? Yeah,
because I you got to.
Speaker 5: Have the balls and ask them out.
Speaker 3: Are there more middle age single people today? That's what
surprised me was the number on there because I did
see comments, and uh, the one woman commented, I'm fifty eight,
retired in Brighton.
Speaker 2: Which is a suburb of her. She's so nice and divorced,
right and so okay, and.
Speaker 4: She's sure if anyone reached out to her.
Speaker 3: I don't know, oh somebody else. I wish my friends
would do this for me. Then somebody says put out
there about one of their longtime friends, and it said
it's hard out there. Everyone I meet just wants a hookup. Bye,
by no, thank you.
Speaker 4: Here's the hookup face.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it was. Uh, it's interesting that it just
hit with so many people.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And then you'll have like the guy, let's say
he's forty eight. Maybe he's super successful. He's done with
horror face, but he's running his company and he's he's
got a full on dad bob. But then the girl
who's super successful forty one is like, ew, I'm slaving
away at my body, eating you know nothing, and you
got this gut right, And then they'll be mad they
don't take care of their house, and I'm like, you're
gonna throw away the guy because of the gut.
Speaker 4: He's got everything else.
Speaker 5: And then I'll find a perfect fucking mass.
Speaker 2: I want that on a T shirt.
Speaker 3: I throw away the guy for the gut, he's got
everything else.
Speaker 2: The fucking It's like.
Speaker 9: I but then I'll so then I'll suggest to the
guy my friend that's perfect, and he's like, oh, I
mean maybe she's got fifty pounds overweight, and he's like,
I wanted someone hotter.
Speaker 4: It's like so much vanity is taking place too.
Speaker 5: Well, Okay, I saw it. I felt that the private
messages were like, yeah, I was hoping for someone more
fit or someone hotter. And then poor guys when they
lose their hair. You got a shit ton of hair.
But that's the thing, like ew, he's like he's like balding,
you know. And then there's a lot of guys believe
it or not. I am really I.
Speaker 2: I can't wait too. I'll tell you if it's real.
Speaker 5: They're not into the fake lips, uh, fake faces. Yeah,
and I couldn't believe it.
Speaker 2: I can understand that.
Speaker 5: I think going through a phase now where I think
men are starting to want more real.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: The botox stuff is fine because it does wear off,
and it does.
Speaker 2: It's not that intrusive of stuff. But I do understand.
Speaker 5: I've had some like oh I don't if she is
like lip puffs and you know, I'm not interested really,
so a couple of mine do. I'm like, oh shit, yeah,
but like I can't really.
Speaker 2: Why Okay, so why are they doing that? Are they
doing that because they think.
Speaker 5: The pressure to compete with a woman happyer age and
I just it's like I don't want to touch my
face every time I get a new wrinkle.
Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, I had some fun memories making that.
Speaker 5: And like wow, and like every gray hair, like you
know what, okay, this we can go down this age thing.
I think it's so exciting to get old, well into age. Yeah,
you know, because how many freaking hot checks are there
in your twenties They're like a dime a dozen, and
then same with women in your thirties. But like if
you're in your sixties and you're like decent, you're the
cream of the crop.
Speaker 2: You are the cream.
Speaker 5: And if you are I'm a goofball outgoing right. When
you're fun and goofy and you're older, people think you're
like a rock star.
Speaker 4: I'll never forget.
Speaker 5: I was like the Pelican's nest and there was this
like seventy five year old woman headbanging ACDC and everybody
was like worshiping her. Yeah, I'm thinking that's all you
gotta be cool in your seventies is don't be too
fat and head bang like I got this, like, you know,
it's exciting.
Speaker 3: I do wonder if for some people and it does
sound like you know Vanity does. I know Vanity takes it.
I know Vanity does. I hear women. I have heard
what they said. You know, I've got the love handles
or I've got the whatever.
Speaker 2: Don't look at mysel about you, no, oh about them,
about themselves, about themselves. I have all that, I have
the gut, I have it all. I'm working on it.
Speaker 3: I don't shit happens right, it's like, but I hear them,
and I hear them say things like I look crinkly
and craggly, and I don't know, and I often say sometimes,
don't talk about yourself that way, don't I don't like it. Yeah,
I don't either, and I think it's bad. But I
wonder too this and maybe you'll know, maybe.
Speaker 2: From your own experience, maybe not. I don't know. Do
you think people in there?
Speaker 3: And I'll even go into the fifties like because fifties,
I'm almost mid fifties, or maybe I am mid.
Speaker 4: Fifties forty four, and.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm ten years older than you. I'm fifty four.
Speaker 3: So do you think people in those age brackets are
starting over more intentionally?
Speaker 2: Yes, you understand what I mean.
Speaker 3: And somewhat with intentional comes cautious. Yes, And I wonder
if that's some of it as well, because sure, there's
a guy that would really like to meet somebody that
he just vibes with, who wouldn't love that person that
you could just turn to on a random Saturday morning
in a beautiful spring or summer or maybe fall and
say we're going wine tasting today. You know what I mean,
and that there is something about that and you can
have a lot of fun.
Speaker 5: But they got to be ready though, They got to
be done with their hookup face right, must all right?
For example, the Viking, Yes, is he still around?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 5: Because when is someone like that going to be ready?
Because do you know how many girls think he's cute?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 5: And then they know he's not ready?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yes, there's quite a few.
Speaker 3: I think there was actually somebody I know who had
hooked up with him and then wasn't sure where things stood,
and then walked into a restaurant and he was there
with someone really young, and.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I had just heard of it.
Speaker 5: There's guys that might never want to go back in relationship.
I had so much effort trying to figure out. You
almost want to figure it out like the first day,
but then you don't want to be crazy.
Speaker 2: No, you don't want to be before.
Speaker 4: You spend all that time.
Speaker 2: Well, loneliness is something that I think all the time.
I go, is this really showing you?
Speaker 3: Because there's loneliness, there's independence, right, And I remember my
father would always say to me things like, you don't
want anyone to need you, and you don't want to
need anybody you want to be with them, right, And
so that's speaking more of an independent type person.
Speaker 5: But I'm like a relationship person. Yes, I love having
someone to love with me. I don't love the single days,
so I don't know if that. But I'm very independent too.
I've taken vacations alone, bar alone. I can do anything alone.
Speaker 3: Still, But talk about your girlfriends for a second, the
ones that you're out there, because I know one of
them and she's very attractive. She really is, right, attractive,
But do you think people are lonelier or just less
willing to settle?
Speaker 4: Less willing to settle?
Speaker 3: Okay, so we're back to kind of the Yeah, but
she's been in relationships something Yeah, and then.
Speaker 5: The other one, I mean the other one. These girls
are crushing it, crushing it really, Yeah, couples like wow,
I was like, want to Saturday, but she probably killed
me without permission.
Speaker 4: She I think she's been single for like five years.
Speaker 5: Beautiful, so grounded, great family, running a huge business.
Speaker 2: You know she's getting laid and she doesn't.
Speaker 5: If she does, she's so private.
Speaker 4: She probably does it on vacations.
Speaker 5: Because she doesn't want to affect her That's probably why
she travels a lot. Yeah, good to keep her reputation
clean here. Yeah, but the kind of guy she needs
is the guy with the.
Speaker 2: Jet, right, Yeah, and there's many of those.
Speaker 5: Where's the hot guy with a jet in Rochester?
Speaker 2: Here?
Speaker 5: Where are they?
Speaker 2: Well, they're actually actually single. Hang on, guys, I know
guys with jets.
Speaker 5: Okay, but you don't act that seventy three No they're.
Speaker 2: Not, but they're but they're all they're entangled and stuff.
Speaker 5: I'm saying, like, I know you're looking for single, late
fifties and under decently in shape, yeah at least cute.
You know, where are these guys if they want to
like it? But the thing is all that there were
so many guys messaging me and they were not handsome
and they had bad jobs. Like I'm not giving you
a shitty, mediocre league. These are like girls with very
nice cars, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: And very Yeah, I got you right.
Speaker 5: Yeah where are those guys?
Speaker 2: They're probably married if they're.
Speaker 4: Here, okay, but where are the single ones?
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. I know about that.
Speaker 5: Multiple really good leads. Yeah, all right, ideas stepping on
everyone because here's the other thing that that I always
wonder with relationships.
Speaker 3: And I'll say this, things don't if you don't change yourself,
you bring yourself to the same thing, you'll attract the same.
Speaker 2: Type of person.
Speaker 3: You ever notice that like they always end up with
the blank fill in the blank you know somebody who's
and say it for guys as well. By the way,
this is not a gender exclusive thing by any means
at all. It's always like they end up with why
why is that? Because there's some comfort it's what they know.
But they're also bringing in a ton of baggage that
that person can relate to.
Speaker 2: If you believe in the law of attraction, that's what
you're getting.
Speaker 3: If you want to change that shit, you got to
really work on yourself. And and here's the thing that
I don't think people know. I don't think and I
don't have the answer. So I'm just going to say
it almost like a rhetorical question, but I don't think
people know how to.
Speaker 2: Work on themselves. No, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: And I think once you start to realize, and maybe
a little bit I could give some suggestions, but like
once you start to really delve into who you are
and what it is, and I'll tell you this, like again,
I'll go back to confidence. You know, I said for
years the most Yeah, but I said for years that
I found women forty and above to be the most attractive.
I think I was saying this in my late thirties.
Really yes, And here's why. Because at forty many women,
as you're saying, some are grounded. As you say, they're grounded,
they know themselves. They can put on the most audacious
color of lipstick and walk around boldly, and they fucking
look good. And they and there is a sexiness about
that that is unspoken. It's not these young hot chicks,
you know what I'm saying, Like, I believe me. I
go to the gym when I was a boxing instructor
for a specific gym, and we're.
Speaker 2: Going back almost a decade. I'm not there now. They
asked me to do a bar class just to see what.
Speaker 5: It was like, Oh you told me about that, or.
Speaker 2: It was nothing but assholes and birth canals.
Speaker 3: Whenever I turned around and the balls between the legs
and it was all these young girls.
Speaker 2: I thought they can't even dress. But there was no one.
Speaker 3: There that I would I remember going yeah, when I
didn't know where to look. But what I'm saying is,
but if you had a bunch of middle aged women
like I find something about a confident middle aged woman
I and I can it's you, I know, but I know.
And I've also seen like where I can almost sense
that they're on the same vibe because they'll give it.
Speaker 2: You get a second look energy. I don't know what
it is. I don't know what it is.
Speaker 3: I don't know, but I just wonder with the working
on yourself, I think everyone says they do it. But
are they I'm working on myself.
Speaker 2: Are you? And how? And what is that?
Speaker 4: I think I have the answer. Okay, are they approachable?
Speaker 5: And I think why I talk to so many people,
especially single, I talked to anybody, I'm a goofball. I'd
be the one like headbanging that it's like easier to
talk to versus the girl that looks.
Speaker 4: Like the model of the body that just got out
of the portial. You know, like you know that might
be more intimidating.
Speaker 2: Oh sure, absolutely.
Speaker 5: And I told them, I'm like, you guys need to
like be a little goofy. And I've actually told this
to maybe five of them, Like why don't you make
a post where you don't have makeup on?
Speaker 4: Or you do something silly.
Speaker 5: They're also like, oh, like, just like, you know, show
some personality.
Speaker 3: Right, because a lot of times not being perfect. Yes,
And I think there's there you hit the nail on the.
Speaker 5: Head there were approachable.
Speaker 3: Well, it makes you more approachable, but it also makes
you more human, right, you don't come off so much
as like this too stuff.
Speaker 4: The guy is going to think I'm not that perfect?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 4: What is she going to think of me?
Speaker 7: Right?
Speaker 5: And my Jenny shirt watching football scratch and my belly.
Speaker 4: On a Sunday.
Speaker 5: You know, huh, maybe she's in her pajamas on a
Sunday making waffles and fried chicken and they you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then the sweet love after that. From what
you saw in the comments, were there some guys who
were kind of grounded?
Speaker 2: Are this too?
Speaker 5: And my favorite were the guys who just obeyed. They
literally just said interested, yeah, because that's what I said.
Speaker 4: I'm like clapping for them, right.
Speaker 2: How about the performative there had to be some performative.
Speaker 5: Everything. I mean, the comments are crazy.
Speaker 3: What stood out like in the comments as almost an
immedia green flag because everybody asked about the red flags, but.
Speaker 5: The green flams that just said interested.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they were a green flags. Yeah, the red flag.
Speaker 5: There's so many. So Mike was sleeping and I had
a busy day when when I went to read the comments,
he was asleep, and I was like having the pillow
over my face holding in the sounds of laughter as
I was reading these, and I'm texting my girlfriends and
texting I feel bad. But the one guy that's like,
they better like my cat. And then there's a picture
of the cat just doesn't scream ceo jet.
Speaker 3: Like you know, it screams unchanged litter box and dying
plant in the corner.
Speaker 5: I just was like, oh, we were freaking cracking. And
there's one guy that's like, are they in the midgets?
Speaker 3: I'm like, what midgets? Oh yeah, well I didn't realize that.
Speaker 5: Like this, this one guy, he's a really nice guy,
but he's short and a little bit chubby, and he's like, who,
we're off front? And I just had to say, I said, listen,
they're looking for tall buff like there's a really I
guess I'm all then yeah, I was trying to say
the nicest way. And one of the girls doesn't even
have any kids, and some mister hotkeye with a jet
doesn't want to deal with any kid baggage. I got
one of those. He's gotten no kids?
Speaker 3: You got a whole store? Yeah, one guy did right
on there. Uh, men are going to need to know
the crazy and rama ratings of these women, which is
funny on scale of one to be on a scale
of one to bat shit insane?
Speaker 2: What are we talking here? And then apparently and I found.
Speaker 3: U this video where it talks about this this whole
thing right.
Speaker 2: It's this guy crazy axis crazy. He does a whole
graph and you're hot axis Yeah, right, hot is as.
Speaker 7: Usual measured from zero to ten.
Speaker 2: We're all familiar with that.
Speaker 3: He doesn't like it's a it's a downebra class. That's
so funny. But so the hotter they are, the crazier
they get. Is kind of what this guy's saying. And
there maybe there's some truth to that. I don't I
don't know, And I would say even for guys.
Speaker 2: There is the.
Speaker 5: Thirteen. Yeah, I can say that there is. I can
look at a couple of them say there's there's a
little bit of truth to that.
Speaker 4: Really, yeah, but the majority of them are.
Speaker 3: But see solid leads, we'll see they are. I think
here's what I think needs to be done. I think
that we should I should figure out a way to
do a podcast that involves you and one of your
friends and and some.
Speaker 5: Guys have the single guys around the table, and the
girls could be in the room next door, right, and
they come over if they're interested.
Speaker 3: Hey, hey, Ben, I like you know what I'm saying,
right exactly, because it would be kind of fun and
at the same time like almost tell these guys what
they're missing.
Speaker 2: Up your game. Up your game, yeah, you know, don't
be fast.
Speaker 3: Here's the thing I have realized, uh, for myself, that
I come from a family of men who would put
on a suit to get the mail. My dad, my grandfather,
and I have always liked more or less. Not today,
you got me, you know, not today. But I would
rather wear a blazer and jeans and a custom made
shirt or.
Speaker 5: You're a dress up cut I would love.
Speaker 3: Really, I don't know about casual dress up though, I
mean not not like we'll call it business casual, right,
But I still know that when I go places like that,
you're kind of looked at, like no, but you look
like you stand out. And I'm not always looking to
stand out. But I'd rather dress nicely and presentable everybody today,
I mean even in schools they're wearing like leggings and yeah,
it's all cover, it's all cover.
Speaker 5: But I'm guilty of it.
Speaker 2: No, no, it's fine. But my point is like, well,
look at you.
Speaker 3: You have the blazer on, right, it dresses, but it dresses,
it dresses it up right, you look great. So I
just think that also raises your confidence. You feel better
about yourself, and you know what I mean, it's dressed
for the I would say, dress for the person you
want to impress, you know what I mean, or whatever.
Speaker 2: I guess. The other thing is too, is I always
go it's an inside job.
Speaker 3: And if you're not confident about yourself, or you don't
feel good about yourself, or you even't worked out your shit,
you're no good to anybody. You're gonna be the same
miserable person with the same type of person that you've
been with.
Speaker 2: You.
Speaker 3: You know, you whatever about an ex wife or an
ex husband, and the next thing, you know, you got
somebody who almost I mean, they may look very different
on the outside, but they are absolutely very similar on
the inside. Or with whatever behaviors or whatever lunatic bullshit
that you're said you were sick of dealing with, is
what you deal with. You gotta find the thing. And
I would say even taking some time alone, like truly alone,
and you know, not your whore phase, not your whatever,
just alone to kind of work on yourself.
Speaker 5: Well, you know what, I there's something to note here. Yeah,
there's a lot of middle of the road vanilla people
living like I'm not saying they're bad people, but I'm
not I'm not trying to hook up the r genee
worker with the physical therapist.
Speaker 2: There's that's that's normal.
Speaker 4: Normal.
Speaker 5: I'm talking about I have some exceptional I think you
have to do. You are looking for some exceptional Now,
I have normal friends. I love the.
Speaker 4: Whole world and the whole variety of everyone on earth.
Speaker 5: But this was about finding my exceptional like mega hot,
mega rich, put together like it's harder. There's a lot
of middle, is what I'm saying. You're you know, in
the middle. There's a lot to choose from. There's not
a lot at the top. So I was trying to
help them, not slamming normal people, because normal people they
love too. This was just except like you know, well,
I don't know, but I know I am normal guys.
I don't want to slam normal girls.
Speaker 2: No, but I remember one.
Speaker 3: Of your one of these women I know, and even
at a Fairport music fest.
Speaker 2: I was back somewhere and I was wound up talking to.
Speaker 3: Her and I was probably who knows what language I
was speaking at that time, and she said to me
later on, hey, I have a friend who was really
interested in you, and I just simply said, I'm not available.
Speaker 2: I'm not.
Speaker 3: I said, No, I wasn't nervous at all. I probably
talked to this woman. I have a problem when I drink,
and it's not.
Speaker 2: No, I'm fun. I think I'm fun. But here's I'm
gonna tell you.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna tell you, trouble comes out of you.
Speaker 2: What do you mean you can get it a little
bit of trouble? I can, but he can.
Speaker 3: But here's the here's the thing that I realized, Like
I sometimes I'm just nice and I'm and since the
breaks are gone, right, the inhibition's gone, I'll talk to
somebody and I'll just yeah, and I don't and and
I don't mean to And then like, now, now all
you have to do is have your phone in your
hand right you're talking, or on your body, and they
just go. They just you could put the phones next
to each other and the numbers exchange.
Speaker 2: Really yeah, it's weird. They go, hey, watch this, bruh.
Speaker 3: And now all of a sudden, I have her contact,
she has mine, and I'm standing there and I'm like, okay,
so I don't write, I don't mean anything. Then I
get a text couple of days later, Hey, it was
so fun hanging out. We should do it again, and
I may have bought someone to drink and just was
thought in my mind, that's what you do. I'm just
being nice and and that, and I think that happens
probably more often for.
Speaker 2: Women than men, to be quite honest with you, that
was one time for me like once I'm sure, I'm sure.
Speaker 4: Nice and I talk doesn't mean I want you.
Speaker 2: What did you learn about men from this? Did you
learn anything?
Speaker 5: I learned that I have gorgeous women who are afraid
to say boo, and there's a lot of trash that
thinks they're the king. Yeah, get confidence of some dirt
bags and they're like, oh god, Like I did. Get
people messaging me and they thought they were hot, And
I'm like, really, I guess men.
Speaker 2: You want to see the mirror they're looking at.
Speaker 5: Their very confident Definitely men are They have more confidence than.
Speaker 2: What did you learn about women? Watching this unfold?
Speaker 5: More or less women need to step out of their
comfort zone and ask a guy out or be more approachable.
They're two stand offish and they're like waiting for this
fairy tale. Well maybe sometimes you got to take the
first step, and they're afraid to That's what I learned.
I'm like, fucking message him. I had this one lady.
Speaker 4: She goes, stuff, I don't want any of this out
in the public.
Speaker 5: She goes, this is my husband's best friend, and she
sends a screenshot. I'm like, okay, Yeah, So I sent
that screenshot to the single ladies and two of them
liked them. And then I'm like, okay, here's his numb
I'm not I'm not gonna text him. I'm like, well,
he's waiting, you know.
Speaker 4: And they were They're afraid to send a text.
Speaker 5: I'm like, blaming on me. You say, oh, my goofy
friends stuff said, you know, it attached.
Speaker 4: You, but they were too afraid to take one step.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's interesting, and it may also be the thing
that they want to be pursued instead of it feels
unnatural to them.
Speaker 2: They're you know, women of a certain age. I'll say,
right and so.
Speaker 5: But now some of these guys were intimidated to take
a first step if they did have the green light,
because they're like, well, did they even think I'm attractive?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Right, because I.
Speaker 4: Hyped him up almost too much.
Speaker 3: There's a confidence versus availability too. Sometimes you come off
too confident that can be intimidating, I think from either side,
from either side, you know, and that that can be
a problem as well. I'll ask you this, if you
were single right now and you're not, how would this
change how you date?
Speaker 2: Would it? Or do you wish more people did what
you do?
Speaker 3: You would talked about going out when you were single,
eating alone at a bar at the bar, I don't.
Speaker 5: Think I would do anything different. Yeah, put myself out there.
Speaker 3: You need to start maybe a high end Rochester's high
end dating app.
Speaker 5: Because like there's I played matchmaker actually before this post,
which inspired at all, and they're still together and she's
like you can tell like you're an energy reader.
Speaker 4: She's like, we're perfect for each other. They're going to
be an iron smoke tonight. Well, you guys might like
you want to come hang out with us?
Speaker 5: That's cool?
Speaker 2: Wow? Yeah Wow?
Speaker 3: What do you think people actually want but don't know
how to ask for? Are they looking for someone who's
gonna because the other problem is like compatibility. You never
know when someone gets mad, how you're going to react
or how the other person reacts, you know, And now
a lot of those things take time to figure out.
Speaker 4: And so people don't even know what they want.
Speaker 5: I think it's easy to just blame it on the looks,
like are you attracted? You got to be, But there's
so much more to it. I mean, there can be
a guy that's just okay, but he can be ten
out of ten's in every other category in your life.
So I think that's why it's important to least maybe
grab a cup of coffee, least try because there's other
components of compatibility.
Speaker 2: Sure there are, you know.
Speaker 4: So one of my friends.
Speaker 5: Actually she said who she is, Katie. She raised her hand,
She's like, I'm one of the girls.
Speaker 2: And she put her picture up there. Well it comes up.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, Which is funny. Is one of the guys
that she was just like dating around. I don't know
if he heard that she was on there, but it
actually worked good. He kind of clamped on a little
bit harder, like, oh, guys are gonna be coming out
of the woodwork, like yeah, I'll go see you in
your next business trip.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: It like lit a fire under his ass. Almost, Okay,
that's what I see in my opinion.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So but this guy was sort of like they
were cash cause I was.
Speaker 5: Like, hey, wh aren't you messaging? So and so, and
she's like, well, so and so turned up the heat.
He's gonna go see me my next business trip. Okay,
I'm like really, so like put the pressure on a relationship.
Speaker 2: I got it.
Speaker 5: It was too casual. She was on there. He raised
the bar.
Speaker 3: Sometimes two people are vulnerable, but it's messy vulnerable.
Speaker 2: Don't be messy vulnerable. He could be vulnerable, but you know.
Speaker 5: I don't spill all of your bag, dude, there's still
an art of traction.
Speaker 3: Well exactly, this is where I go. You almost need
to teach a class for some guys.
Speaker 5: Can't be putting all of your fucking baggage and problems
out on the table.
Speaker 4: There's an art to us.
Speaker 3: There are dating apps that are out there now. I
just thought of this, that where the woman has to
ask first. Is that like bumble or something? So I
wonder what if we reverse that?
Speaker 5: What if you know, don't say that all these losers
think they're kings.
Speaker 3: There's a lot of no no, I understand. But let's
say like Steph's Picks of the Month something, you know
what I mean, Steph's Picks of the Month, and it's
guys that you have, you know, scrubbed up or we
find even one of them is a guy who's improved
himself and he's really working on himself, and that's attractive
and like he's trying to be better and that you
you find it. But the women have to make the
first move. Like the guy's pictures there, he's there, Well.
Speaker 2: This is what I mean. And everybody has to be
screened by you. You can't get on the app.
Speaker 5: So I don't know how Mike would feel about that,
because I'm meeting a.
Speaker 10: Lot of eligible bachelors. If the tables were turned, I'd
kill him. But if he was here, get out of here, Mike.
Speaker 2: Now, what if? What if Mike was part of the process.
Though he's so.
Speaker 5: Simple, I think, what the hell are we doing here?
Like I don't I don't know if.
Speaker 2: You would want to Okay, well maybe you have to
pass this.
Speaker 5: Consider his feelings, trying to be mindful, like learn from
my mistake. Oh yeah, I get that, and old me
would be like fuck you, I wanted to fuck I'd
probably piss him off. I have to do the trick
where I pretend i'm him. So I picture Mike leaving
the house at night to go meet Rochester's finest and
write down his opinions. I would be pissed. So okay,
that's fair, But I don't do that. Sometimes I fail,
but I try to reverse it and be like, how
would you feel right?
Speaker 4: And that's helpful for me. Before I make a decision,
I just kind of spin it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, there would be something though. There's something there,
that's all I'm saying. How it gets packaged. There's something
there because the old look for many and I think
they're still there in certain communities, especially the community you're
talking about. Yeah, I think there's still matchmakers. I think
there was a Netflix show or something where it was
like high end trying to help you know, high end
people meet or high end earners or something like that.
Speaker 5: About people, you know, what about people listening to the pod?
Speaker 2: What about them? I don't know who if we.
Speaker 5: Had like six, you know, six men that they you know,
maybe talk about.
Speaker 2: Them, yes, okay, gotcha? Gotcha?
Speaker 4: Like they got at least be five to ten?
Speaker 5: Yeah, and maybe pick is there.
Speaker 2: A height you got to be so tall to ride
this ride?
Speaker 5: Don't Well it's like a calculation. You know, they can
be five eight if they get tens and all the
other category I got I got So, if you're shorter,
you've got to be richer, more funny, more charming.
Speaker 2: You have to have a bigger wallet and.
Speaker 5: Dick and dick. Yes, but if you're taller and hotter,
you can be a little bit poorer.
Speaker 2: Okay, Oh I see, I got it.
Speaker 5: It's because it's the recipe.
Speaker 2: It's the recipe.
Speaker 5: Maybe we should start with five eight, Okay, we'd have
to have like, okay, what are the income requirements?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 5: And then I have one, I mean, not all of them.
Speaker 4: I have some girlfriend.
Speaker 5: The older ones are more reasonable, yeah, the older The
older ones are like, uh, I'll take anybody as long
as he's at least employed, Yeah, and nice and at
least cute. Like the older ones are very basic.
Speaker 2: How how old are we talking?
Speaker 5: When she's not as hot as the thirty you know
what I mean? Like, I feel like the the ones
that haven't crossed over the forty barrier, ye, are the
most picky, and the ones that are approaching fifty.
Speaker 2: Yeah, are the least picky.
Speaker 5: Yeah, because I think they're like, well, what the hell
was I doing ten years ago?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 5: Maybe I let some good ones go. Maybe you can
I can see that they're learning.
Speaker 3: Yeah, uh, I have to Yeah, it's it's it's strange.
The things that are striking me probably the most from
this conversation is the number of comments one right that
really surprised me, and then yes, and then but on
top of that, they're probably over three hundred when you
think of the people who started messaging you privately, right.
Speaker 4: That talks with my girlfriends. We were tearing those guys up.
Speaker 5: Oh, it's so funny.
Speaker 3: It is such a great podcast because for every every guy.
Speaker 5: Like everybody was like the fucking guy with a cat,
like that guy for it, every guy.
Speaker 3: I think many men do not believe that the women
talk about other guys the.
Speaker 2: Way they talk about other.
Speaker 5: Women, such talk about weird, nasty.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So it would be really funny if we could
put the picture up but blur it out, blur it out,
just blur it out, and they have.
Speaker 2: You guys fucking go to town.
Speaker 3: It would be well, see, it would be bad because
but it would be funny to hear what they say.
Speaker 2: Can just go references on because it took some to
post something publicly for even the guys to answer the
guys with the like the guy with the cat, I
mean that takes a little bit of guts, you know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, all right, let me scroll if I can find
the picture of the cat.
Speaker 5: Oh boy, some of.
Speaker 2: The like, oh, oh jeez, do you find it?
Speaker 4: There's so many I mean, this is just one friend.
Speaker 3: It's a reminder that so many people, good, interesting, emotionally
aware people are still out there trying. I think that
that's kind of the thing they're trying, and maybe we
should all go back to when we dated, when we
were young, and I like, really kind.
Speaker 5: Of those one friend. Okay, and this is kind of
where it starts. I just answered, so let's see how
quick he responds. I had a weird feeling that he
might wait because he said he has his kids. So
like she's waiting for the response, and she's like, you know,
now she's wondering, does what if he doesn't think she's cute?
Speaker 2: Okay, really yourself out.
Speaker 5: She's nervous, and then she goes, I'm gonna leave the
guy's name out. That one guy's going after everyone. He's
not even attractive, and she's just doing like all these
laugh fads laugh. Wow, he's nice to me, but he's
he's crazy and he has a lot of issues. And
this one guy, She's like, ew, gross, like taking screenshots
of the guys. Wow.
Speaker 2: Look, uh, I don't I don't know, trying to meet
a lot.
Speaker 5: Of gross gross gross. Stephanie's dating dating service is officially
open for biz. I'm dying. I'm laughing at the comments.
And then she keeps calling the bowt tie guy must
not have gotten a messages because now he's adding a
date to patron Saint.
Speaker 2: He's doing a date to the steakhouse.
Speaker 4: He was like, I'm interested.
Speaker 5: Now he's like if I'm interested Patron Saint and all
we're noticing, like who's like leveling up their posts?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I saw that?
Speaker 5: Wow hard pass? Hell No, what the fuck? The one?
He looks like he should be in a crime documentary
for bodies in his basement. Zoom in on the swimsuit
model poster on his walls, covering all the spackle, like
this is just one friend.
Speaker 2: No, I saw that.
Speaker 3: I saw that picture and I did zoom in to
see it, Like I was shocked.
Speaker 5: The swimsuit poster had me rolling and screams, I still
live with my mom. I sleep in my childhood bedroom.
Speaker 2: Well this was good.
Speaker 5: He's ripped. Wow, Yeah, he's too hot, he's gonna want
one of your hot friends in the thirties, So now
she feels like that one guy was too hot, like
it just comments. So when they're too hot, she's like,
you're not gonna want me. I'm almost fifty. Yeah, but yeah,
that's some examples.
Speaker 3: Wow, and trying to meet someone where you're not losing
yourself so much as hard.
Speaker 2: And there's not.
Speaker 4: A lot of hot single guys here.
Speaker 5: Yeah, there's a lot of middle of the roads. There's
not a lot of exceptional single men. I mean, how
many do you.
Speaker 2: Know exceptional single men?
Speaker 5: Yeah, that don't cheat, handsome, successful, really looking for a
good woman.
Speaker 2: None.
Speaker 4: You can't think of one.
Speaker 2: No, I mean a lot of my friends are married.
Speaker 5: Because they might be nice, but they might be poor,
or they're really hot, or they're a pig, or they're
loaded and they're a cheater, but they're like think about it,
how many are loyal, good, handsome?
Speaker 4: You're you're really saying zero?
Speaker 5: You are fucking popular?
Speaker 2: Who me?
Speaker 5: Yeah, you're saying zero? Moran has zero? Well oil hot
rich single.
Speaker 3: No, uh one, but he's kind of weird but but
rich and you know, uh, is he hot or at
least handsome or Yeah, he keeps himself in good shape,
but I think he's might be closing in on sixty.
Speaker 2: Uh you know what I mean. So there's that, and then.
Speaker 3: Everybody else I know is married or with somebody, yep,
like you know, especially all my rich buddies. I mean
they're yeah, they're locked down, or they're trying to or
someone's trying to lock them down.
Speaker 4: Okay, so they have their backup ready.
Speaker 2: Uh that sucks.
Speaker 5: So it's like it encourages you to be a mistress
to go after the rich, handsome guy that blows. That's
a good strategy though, women. I guess Bill says it's working.
I don't know that. He's like, I.
Speaker 2: Don't know what. I'm not sure about that. I just
they don't have a backup ready.
Speaker 3: I think that a lot of these guys are you know,
and a lot of them are so busy. Look, being
rich is not so much about hard work, but it's
it's a lot of these guys are hungry.
Speaker 2: They just that's who they are. They are a machine.
They get up in the work.
Speaker 4: Yeah, why not go to work conventions?
Speaker 5: Buy a ticket.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that'd be a great thing, I think. Yeah, But
I'm saying, like, these guys want you know, they're running businesses.
They have multiple businesses, they have multiple things, they have
things that can run without them present.
Speaker 2: Right, it's a scalable operation.
Speaker 3: But at the same time, they got to be you know,
there's times in the month they got to check in.
Speaker 5: Man, they got to they're committed then, So you can't think.
Speaker 3: Of one, No, I really can't. And I'm trying to, Like,
I know guys who are single, I would not I
wouldn't send them to you got a chance, I wouldn't
send them anyway.
Speaker 5: Especially one of them.
Speaker 2: She's such a good catch, right, I'm sure. I'm sure, off.
Speaker 4: Air, I'll tell you.
Speaker 5: I mean she's one with no kids.
Speaker 4: I mean, she's just a freaking diamond.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: But why then does dice she have somebody? What is
it about her personality or what is it about.
Speaker 5: Because her position is so large and viewed. Yeah, I
don't think she wants to be like a horror dating.
She's very private.
Speaker 2: Because she's so she's not out.
Speaker 4: Such a big business.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So she's not out there a lot, is what
you're saying.
Speaker 5: No, I don't think she wants to tarnish her reputation.
She's very smart and mindful of that. She's probably the
friend that's wild on vacation.
Speaker 3: I just think like it's hard because people in this
situation are trying to stay hopeful without being naive. Right,
You're trying to decide if you should lower your expectations
or not, which seems to be something that you've talked about.
Speaker 5: If you're just mediocre, life's easy. There's so many options
like seriously, or maybe they should get up, get fat out,
stop trying so goddamn hard.
Speaker 2: And then but you don't.
Speaker 3: Feel as good about yourself and stuff that either you know,
doing all.
Speaker 5: This for walk? If id nobody?
Speaker 2: Well, but to live long enough that somebody will come along,
I guess better.
Speaker 5: Better and not true because what are they going to
do all this money?
Speaker 2: Is it? Like? I know? And I gotta think. Two
people are like should I just delete the app and
take a walk? What do I do?
Speaker 3: And you know, we talk a lot about independence in
terms of people and self work. But I mean, sure,
therapy absolutely can has entered into the chat with people.
Speaker 2: But I think also there's.
Speaker 4: A lot of the therapists aren't available.
Speaker 5: It's good that you're going to be a new one
because there's people the waiting list.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 3: There's a There's also something deeply human about wanting a connection, right,
I mean that to me, and not wanting to feel
dramatic or I don't know, well even dramatic for wanting it,
just wanting the human connection. I mean, I think that's important.
Speaker 5: I just maybe I love human connections. So even when
I'm single, at the bar, I sit at the bar
in the restaurant, not at the table because I want
to talk to people.
Speaker 3: Think about this for a second, because you're you are
different in terms of that stuff, right, You're different, And
especially about the women you're talking about. I don't think
they're like that. So maybe dating isn't harder today.
Speaker 2: Uh. And I'll say that because.
Speaker 3: There will say it's harder because there aren't enough options.
That's kind of what's come up, right that that seems
to be what's come up. And I wonder maybe it's
harder because there's more noise and there's more performance. There's
the botox lips, there's the you know you understand, and
more of this is fine energy. When it's not fine.
Speaker 5: I think men have to raise on themselves. Women have
to lower their expectation.
Speaker 4: I think that's the problem.
Speaker 2: I wish we could.
Speaker 4: Girls too picky and these guys step it up.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, maybe playing video games instead of going
to the gym when you're forty three and single, isn't
the Maybe batter yourself.
Speaker 3: I have a person through the podcast that I know Omaros,
which is a high end men's clothing shop, and they'll
do custom clothes for you. I wonder if I could
pull something together where we find.
Speaker 5: Somebody at shops there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess we could do that, but that would
that that's what you're looking for? Yeah, yeah, Like if
you have a custom pair of pants made, it's going
to cost you five hundred bucks, right, so.
Speaker 5: Watch they're all going to be sixty and up.
Speaker 3: Maybe, but are married And I would say that that too.
But a lot of times I wonder if we could
do a thing where we make a guy over, remember
the old makeover shows, you know what I mean, where
we could make a guy over. Could we make a
guy over and and then like bring him out to
like handpicked people that are looking and she can't be well.
Speaker 5: What if he's if he's a little chubby. We could
even get him, get him a gym, you could like
box with him.
Speaker 4: Oh, it could be everything.
Speaker 2: Yeah, go shopping.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is what I'm saying. And even and and look,
even if it's not Omar's. I mean a lot of
people go, I don't want to spend that unclosed no
matter what. Okay, right, but even things like go to
Men's warehouse instead of somewhere else, go to J Crew
instead of somewhere else. You'd be surprised at how right
there in terms of price they are, and how much
better you look.
Speaker 4: I mean my dad, my dad and mom.
Speaker 5: They're happily married. But I joke all that.
Speaker 4: I go, dad, mom never dies. You need to make over.
Speaker 5: The man's horrible, like classic bad dad dresser horrible. And
I laugh because like those white New balances, all white
socks are in style.
Speaker 2: They are.
Speaker 5: Yeah, like the hawt girls will wear like the white
New Balances with the tall white socks.
Speaker 2: Okay, the hot girls, the hot girls.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's usually the it's the sixty plus guy.
I used to call them grilling shoes, and I would
say they came they came with like stabilizers on the side,
so they would come out.
Speaker 5: Yes, but now hot girls are worms to have told you.
Speaker 2: I see I have Facebook.
Speaker 5: Now I'm like, oh my god, now my dad thinks
he's cool.
Speaker 2: Oh that's that's really funny. I'll say.
Speaker 3: Maybe it's moments like this that are a little chaotic, right,
this whole thing that you did and very public. They're
reminders that connection doesn't always come from swiping.
Speaker 2: It's just right. It doesn't always come from swiping.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and sometimes it comes from saying something out loud
and seeing who's brave enough to respond to it.
Speaker 5: But there was a lot of brave men and somewhere
good middle of the road catches.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I was like, oh, I hope one of those women
would message them.
Speaker 2: But they're all afraid, afraid to message the guy.
Speaker 4: Afraid.
Speaker 3: Right, we got to have the app where the women
make the move first.
Speaker 2: Well, actually they have that.
Speaker 5: They haven't.
Speaker 2: No, we're oh they have that, yes, yeah.
Speaker 5: Just get pissed off when guys don't use accurate pictures.
Speaker 2: Well they flow out of course, of course.
Speaker 5: You know, you take a lot of complaints on that,
like they'll be like, oh, his pictures from twelve years ago,
what the fuck is scary? I'm not messaging him.
Speaker 2: How do you know it's from twelve years?
Speaker 5: Is it chosen Facebook? When your profile pick was last updated?
So the what the hell?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 5: Like it that women assume you're ugly if you don't
put pictures. So even the guy, it's like guns, car jets, guns,
car jets, go bills, go bills, It's like, well, what
do you fucking look like? You must be we assume
you're ugly. They all do. He's got no fucking pictures.
He's a troll. The guy could be hot, but that's
just society. They're like, why isn't he posting himself?
Speaker 3: Well, most guys aren't gonna do selfies. Women do way
more selfiees, but.
Speaker 5: They could have like the guys at the bar.
Speaker 2: Oh I see, you're saying like yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, because no pictures is a red flag?
Speaker 2: Got you?
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, and you I could read you pages of Yep,
he's got no pictures.
Speaker 4: He must be bad.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there could be.
Speaker 4: Cutches out there.
Speaker 5: We don't know.
Speaker 2: This is true.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so it's Stephanie Kristen.
Speaker 2: Yes, okay on Facebook, scroll a.
Speaker 5: Couple down and they can see the post so they
can maybe go shopping. So this is it a middle girl,
a middle guy have a fucking field day because there's
no hobbies with jets and six packs. There's no fours
on there normal wait.
Speaker 3: Wait wait wait wait wait, there's no foresors with a jett.
Speaker 5: There're just a lot of middles. Actually, there's there isn't
in the world.
Speaker 2: That's the problem. Like you know, there isn't in the world.
Speaker 5: There's so many hot checkcent everywhere.
Speaker 2: I don't know, because women take care of themselves better.
I I can't say where is the problem? Yeah, well,
get out of guys.
Speaker 5: Yeah all right, Well it's to the gym, guys and girls.
Fucking message first, Stephanie.
Speaker 2: Uh, it's always great to see you. Goddamn. It's just
like I love when you do things like this. It's
my favorite. It's my favorite.
Speaker 5: We'll see what happens when the song gets released.
Speaker 2: I can't wait for that either.
Speaker 4: That's gonna be it's put myself out.
Speaker 2: There, Yeah it is, but that's not anything new.
Speaker 5: No, but I a song, a real song, not to.
Speaker 3: Advertise a house, I understand, but you put yourself out
there with the videos and stuff like that.
Speaker 2: So I think this will be great. I can't wait
to see where it goes.
Speaker 5: Gott to see how long it takes us to make it.
Speaker 3: And in the meantime, I'll say wherever you are in
your own story, single partner, divorce, starting over, happily avoiding
dating altogether. I really hope this conversation made you feel
a little less alone in that, and maybe just maybe
a little less weird for wanting something real right.
Speaker 4: It's a little I have a field like, go find
your person on their ladies.
Speaker 3: Go find your person for Stephanie Kristen, I'm Bill Moran.
Speaker 2: We'll see you tomorrow. It must have been a dozen
of the market that dods. It wasn't one.
Speaker 7: They get it.
Speaker 2: There wasn't one dodger.
Speaker 5: It wasn't one telling