WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.560 --> 00:00:01.320 It's nice eyes. 2 00:00:02.799 --> 00:00:06.080 I'm going Boston's news Radio. 3 00:00:06.440 --> 00:00:09.679 I'm a great job. Thanks very much for that kind introduction. 4 00:00:09.839 --> 00:00:13.279 As we head off on a four hour flight of 5 00:00:14.199 --> 00:00:18.079 conversation here on night Side every Monday through Friday night, 6 00:00:18.239 --> 00:00:21.280 Rob Brooks the great producer back at the control room 7 00:00:21.359 --> 00:00:26.399 at the broadcast Center, and I basically throw some topics 8 00:00:26.440 --> 00:00:32.359 out for discussion and conversation, and most often you folks 9 00:00:32.600 --> 00:00:35.640 are interested in comply. We have four quick guests coming 10 00:00:35.719 --> 00:00:38.640 up here in the eight o'clock hour, just very briefly 11 00:00:38.719 --> 00:00:43.240 at nine, we're gonna give you every piece of information 12 00:00:43.399 --> 00:00:47.640 you will need to protect yourselves and your family against 13 00:00:47.679 --> 00:00:51.039 what will be the onslaught of ticks if you go 14 00:00:51.119 --> 00:00:54.039 outside in New England. This year, tick Man Dan joins 15 00:00:54.119 --> 00:00:58.320 us for one of his annual visits with just a 16 00:00:58.359 --> 00:01:01.439 lot of great information. And then we will celebrate the 17 00:01:01.479 --> 00:01:05.319 decision by the FDA, the Food and Drug Administration, along 18 00:01:05.359 --> 00:01:08.400 with the Department of Health and Human Services to phase 19 00:01:08.439 --> 00:01:13.280 out all petroleum based artificial food dies in the nation's 20 00:01:13.359 --> 00:01:18.000 food supply. And I'll tell you many people thought Robert F. 21 00:01:18.079 --> 00:01:22.959 Kennedy Junior was a little different. Well on this one, 22 00:01:23.120 --> 00:01:27.840 I couldn't agree with him more and he has done 23 00:01:27.840 --> 00:01:30.040 a great job, and we'll discuss that and give him 24 00:01:30.040 --> 00:01:33.280 the credit that he is due. But first let's get 25 00:01:33.319 --> 00:01:35.359 to our guests. We're going to start for off with 26 00:01:35.519 --> 00:01:39.480 Adriana o'conness. Adriana, Welcome to night Side. 27 00:01:39.519 --> 00:01:43.239 How are you hi, Ked'm good? How are you? 28 00:01:43.239 --> 00:01:47.560 You're just fine. You're a consumer credit card analyst for 29 00:01:47.719 --> 00:01:51.079 US News and World Report, and it looks as if 30 00:01:51.319 --> 00:01:55.560 we are wallowing we as a country, a wallowing in 31 00:01:55.760 --> 00:01:59.439 ignorance when it comes to the value of credit cards, 32 00:02:00.359 --> 00:02:04.120 how much we are spending on credit cards. And I 33 00:02:04.159 --> 00:02:06.920 guess more than half of us don't even know that 34 00:02:06.959 --> 00:02:10.439 there's something called a FYCO score, which is a really 35 00:02:10.520 --> 00:02:12.840 important thing to know about what's going on. 36 00:02:14.000 --> 00:02:19.039 Yeah, So we since April is Financial Literacy Month, we 37 00:02:19.080 --> 00:02:22.800 wanted to do a survey kind of gauge consumers general 38 00:02:22.840 --> 00:02:28.080 financial knowledge, and we found about half of respondence, about 39 00:02:28.080 --> 00:02:33.280 fifty three percent didn't know that your FYCO score is 40 00:02:33.319 --> 00:02:36.000 what lenders look at to determine your credit worthiness. And 41 00:02:36.080 --> 00:02:39.960 actually over forty percent of people were confusing Fyco with 42 00:02:40.159 --> 00:02:42.479 one of the credit scoring heros, so they thought FICO 43 00:02:42.879 --> 00:02:45.159 was experience or equafax. 44 00:02:45.840 --> 00:02:49.319 Well, it's funny because I did not know what FYCO 45 00:02:49.639 --> 00:02:53.000 stood for. I know what it is, obviously, I get 46 00:02:54.280 --> 00:02:58.639 a member of these credit bureaus and trying to make 47 00:02:58.680 --> 00:03:01.400 sure that my credit stays in good shape. I'm somebody 48 00:03:01.400 --> 00:03:05.360 who goes over my credit card bill every month with 49 00:03:05.479 --> 00:03:08.439 a fine tooth comb to make sure that nothing else 50 00:03:08.560 --> 00:03:14.479 is on that credit that credit bill that I perhaps 51 00:03:14.520 --> 00:03:17.199 didn't pay for. Every once in a while, some you 52 00:03:17.319 --> 00:03:21.879 catch something. But the point is FIGO I've learned today, 53 00:03:21.919 --> 00:03:23.759 and I will admit I looked it up stands for 54 00:03:23.919 --> 00:03:28.159 fair Isaac and Company, which is just an acronym for 55 00:03:28.560 --> 00:03:31.360 a predecessor of one of the credit score companies. 56 00:03:32.400 --> 00:03:35.439 H Yeah, and it's it's fine because we don't expect 57 00:03:35.439 --> 00:03:38.360 consumers to know like what FYCO stands for. But it's 58 00:03:38.400 --> 00:03:41.960 just really important that consumers know that what their FYCO 59 00:03:42.080 --> 00:03:45.840 score is because so many either confuse it for one 60 00:03:45.840 --> 00:03:49.080 of the bureaus or didn't know outright that that's what 61 00:03:49.159 --> 00:03:51.240 lenders look at to determine their credit worthiness. 62 00:03:52.280 --> 00:03:55.960 Yeah, so what how do we solve this? I mean, 63 00:03:56.360 --> 00:03:59.120 I do believe last night we had well actually I 64 00:03:59.120 --> 00:04:02.599 think it was two nights ago. We had a high 65 00:04:02.599 --> 00:04:05.719 school teacher along with a student, a group of students 66 00:04:05.759 --> 00:04:12.639 who are going to a financial literacy competition the Massachusetts 67 00:04:12.639 --> 00:04:15.680 state champion. So there are schools. In this case, it 68 00:04:15.719 --> 00:04:19.000 was Lexington High School, famous town, you know, the Battle 69 00:04:19.040 --> 00:04:22.480 of Lexington and conquered or conquered in Lexington. Which order 70 00:04:22.519 --> 00:04:24.519 you put it in depends upon where you grow up 71 00:04:24.560 --> 00:04:28.000 or where you live, right, And so one school is 72 00:04:28.040 --> 00:04:30.120 doing a great job. They have these kids who were 73 00:04:30.120 --> 00:04:34.600 really savants and they they they would run circles around me. 74 00:04:34.680 --> 00:04:38.720 And I think I have some level of financial knowledge. 75 00:04:39.639 --> 00:04:42.240 But what's going on with the rest of the country. 76 00:04:42.360 --> 00:04:45.480 I mean all these people who are just blowing through 77 00:04:45.480 --> 00:04:48.160 their credit card schools. I mean this is dangerous stuff. 78 00:04:49.360 --> 00:04:51.319 Yeah, and a lot of it just comes down to 79 00:04:51.600 --> 00:04:55.240 the blind leading the blind. Because we asked consumers like, hey, 80 00:04:55.279 --> 00:04:57.480 where do you get your financial advice? Where do you 81 00:04:57.560 --> 00:05:01.279 go when you've got your financial questions? And almost fifty 82 00:05:01.279 --> 00:05:04.360 percent of respondents said that they seek out their financial 83 00:05:04.399 --> 00:05:08.439 advice from friends and family, you know, and the as 84 00:05:08.480 --> 00:05:13.079 far as like reading online publications, you know, like US News, 85 00:05:13.279 --> 00:05:16.319 you know, only twenty five percent admitted to getting the 86 00:05:16.360 --> 00:05:20.160 information they needed from online publications, and we even found 87 00:05:20.160 --> 00:05:24.360 out over thirty percent don't seek out financial advice at all. 88 00:05:25.279 --> 00:05:27.759 Do they do? They get their medical advice and their 89 00:05:27.879 --> 00:05:30.879 legal advice from like their uncle Hubert? I mean you. 90 00:05:32.720 --> 00:05:32.759 Do? 91 00:05:32.839 --> 00:05:35.360 Actually do actually? Do they actually go to like a 92 00:05:35.439 --> 00:05:38.720 doctor or a lawyer if they if they have a medical. 93 00:05:38.680 --> 00:05:42.480 Legalist, you wouldn't go to uncle Hubert for a medical opinion, 94 00:05:43.160 --> 00:05:45.199 Like why would you go to aunt Carrol when you 95 00:05:45.240 --> 00:05:47.560 have a question about your finances? 96 00:05:48.079 --> 00:05:52.000 I guess it's convenient. I don't know what other other answer. 97 00:05:52.639 --> 00:05:55.319 I got a question about my finances. Here. One of 98 00:05:55.319 --> 00:05:57.560 the things that people do young people, they get credit 99 00:05:57.560 --> 00:06:01.519 cards and they think, who time to just buy? What? 100 00:06:01.959 --> 00:06:04.759 How big at a big screen TV? Can I buy? 101 00:06:04.839 --> 00:06:09.439 You know, I want one bit, say four hundred inches diagonally? Yeah, 102 00:06:09.680 --> 00:06:11.519 so I could put it on the side of the house. 103 00:06:12.199 --> 00:06:16.240 But yeah, a lot of back, yeah, a lot of 104 00:06:16.519 --> 00:06:18.120 a lot of what we found is like when we 105 00:06:18.160 --> 00:06:21.879 asked consumers like, hey, like your first credit card, like, 106 00:06:21.959 --> 00:06:24.680 be honest, did you max it out? You know? And 107 00:06:24.759 --> 00:06:27.560 about forty percent of respondents were like, yeah, I maxed 108 00:06:27.560 --> 00:06:31.079 out my first credit card, And the reasons why are 109 00:06:31.120 --> 00:06:33.399 pretty much what you expect. You know that I was 110 00:06:33.480 --> 00:06:36.560 young and dumb. I had there were so many things 111 00:06:36.600 --> 00:06:38.920 to buy and I had so little income, so I 112 00:06:38.959 --> 00:06:41.720 just put it on my credit card, you know. So 113 00:06:41.920 --> 00:06:44.079 it's it makes sense. You know a lot of young 114 00:06:44.079 --> 00:06:47.160 consumers they get that first credit card and they don't 115 00:06:47.199 --> 00:06:49.800 have that guiding hand, so they end up over sending 116 00:06:49.959 --> 00:06:51.759 and as a result, they can end up maxing out 117 00:06:51.759 --> 00:06:52.480 that credit card. 118 00:06:53.120 --> 00:06:55.319 Yeah. One of the things I find out really early 119 00:06:55.759 --> 00:06:57.480 when I got my first credit card, which is a 120 00:06:57.519 --> 00:07:00.879 long time ago, I said, wait a, say, I'm being 121 00:07:01.040 --> 00:07:06.160 charged an annual fee by this company to have a card. Oh, 122 00:07:06.360 --> 00:07:09.240 that's not going to work. I called them up and 123 00:07:09.240 --> 00:07:11.240 I said, want to cancel the card? Cancel the card, 124 00:07:11.639 --> 00:07:13.879 And the nice person in the end Refluence, said well, 125 00:07:13.879 --> 00:07:15.560 why do you want to do that because you're charging 126 00:07:15.560 --> 00:07:17.480 me a fee. You're charging me a fee. Oh, we 127 00:07:17.720 --> 00:07:20.040 can remove that fee if you'd like, Okay, then don't 128 00:07:20.079 --> 00:07:21.399 cancel the don't cancel the. 129 00:07:21.319 --> 00:07:27.759 Card, ye make I always recommend to consumers and readers like, Hey, 130 00:07:27.800 --> 00:07:31.120 if you're you're struggling and you can't do that financial fee, 131 00:07:31.319 --> 00:07:33.480 call up your instrum and see how they can help you. 132 00:07:33.759 --> 00:07:36.079 If they can't waive the fee, they'll more than likely 133 00:07:36.240 --> 00:07:38.959 try and give you like some sort of credit so 134 00:07:39.000 --> 00:07:41.279 that way they can kind of help ease that financial burden. 135 00:07:41.319 --> 00:07:43.560 But honestly, it never hurts to call an ask. 136 00:07:44.120 --> 00:07:46.519 Yeah. I think that most of the credit crowd companies 137 00:07:46.560 --> 00:07:49.519 now have gotten away from charging the fee because they 138 00:07:49.519 --> 00:07:51.240 think that there are enough of us who are young 139 00:07:51.279 --> 00:07:54.879 and dumb or old and dumb who pay off. You know, 140 00:07:55.000 --> 00:07:57.920 the ten percent that you know your credit card bill 141 00:07:57.959 --> 00:07:59.879 of fourteen hundred dollars you only have to pay how 142 00:08:00.279 --> 00:08:03.839 forty that sounds like a great deal, right, yes? And 143 00:08:03.879 --> 00:08:07.800 then the twenty seven percent compounded interests daily or hourly 144 00:08:07.879 --> 00:08:08.480 adds up. 145 00:08:09.519 --> 00:08:10.720 Let's possibly go wrong? 146 00:08:10.800 --> 00:08:14.839 Hen Yep, absolutely, I take such pride at the end 147 00:08:14.839 --> 00:08:16.839 of the year in December because I love to look 148 00:08:16.839 --> 00:08:19.480 at the amount of interest that I haven't paid on 149 00:08:19.519 --> 00:08:23.079 my credit card bill. Pay it full, get rid of it, 150 00:08:23.399 --> 00:08:25.600 move past it. And if you find it's cost you 151 00:08:25.639 --> 00:08:28.000 do too much, then guess what, you know, just just 152 00:08:28.120 --> 00:08:32.120 back off a little bit. You sound to me like 153 00:08:32.200 --> 00:08:35.759 someone who really knows this subject. And how can people 154 00:08:35.840 --> 00:08:39.600 follow some of your your writing in your wisdom at 155 00:08:39.759 --> 00:08:41.039 US News and World Report. 156 00:08:41.720 --> 00:08:43.720 Well, thank you, Dan. They can head on over to 157 00:08:43.840 --> 00:08:47.679 money dot usnews dot com and there they'll be able 158 00:08:47.679 --> 00:08:51.759 to find all the information they need on credit cards, mortgages, 159 00:08:52.000 --> 00:08:56.039 personal loans. You know, don't let Aunt Carol talk you 160 00:08:56.120 --> 00:08:58.960 into a card with an annual fees, like come read 161 00:08:59.000 --> 00:09:00.240 our reviews first. 162 00:09:00.879 --> 00:09:03.440 Yeah, right, and to get Uncle Hubert at all. I mean, 163 00:09:03.480 --> 00:09:05.320 the guy's been in the attic all these years. He 164 00:09:05.399 --> 00:09:07.000 knows nothing, he's never. 165 00:09:06.840 --> 00:09:07.600 Had a card. 166 00:09:07.720 --> 00:09:10.759 In fact, last guy you want to talk to, Hey, 167 00:09:10.799 --> 00:09:13.240 I really enjoyed it. Thanks, Adriana, we'll talk again. 168 00:09:13.279 --> 00:09:16.000 I hope, thank you so much, so good, thank you. 169 00:09:16.600 --> 00:09:18.240 All Right, we come back with a look at a 170 00:09:18.240 --> 00:09:22.240 different sort of dilemma, and that is how strange, how 171 00:09:22.279 --> 00:09:27.879 strained female relationships either amended or ended. I'm going to 172 00:09:27.960 --> 00:09:30.799 talk with an author. She's a gender expert and best 173 00:09:30.799 --> 00:09:40.039 selling author, Susan Shapiro, And I guess female friendships, how 174 00:09:40.039 --> 00:09:42.799 would I know, are more difficult to sort of maintain, 175 00:09:43.039 --> 00:09:47.879 cultivate than guy friendships. Maybe we're just more transactional and 176 00:09:49.519 --> 00:09:52.360 probably not as as deep. I don't know. We'll figure 177 00:09:52.360 --> 00:09:55.039 it out, Susan Shapiro. Coming back on the other side, 178 00:09:55.080 --> 00:09:57.320 I also want to remind you, as I've done a 179 00:09:57.320 --> 00:10:00.720 couple of times already, that we have some big news 180 00:10:00.720 --> 00:10:03.720 from iHeart. iHeart has just been named the twenty twenty 181 00:10:03.759 --> 00:10:06.879 five Podcast Company of the Year by the Webby Awards, 182 00:10:06.919 --> 00:10:11.480 also known as the Oscars of the Internet. iHeart snagged 183 00:10:11.679 --> 00:10:15.519 fourteen wins and we could not be prouder. Shout out 184 00:10:15.559 --> 00:10:19.440 to the International Academy of Digital Arts and Sciences for 185 00:10:19.519 --> 00:10:23.000 bestowing this incredible honor and showing just such good judgment. 186 00:10:23.039 --> 00:10:26.519 You can find all these award winning podcasts on the 187 00:10:26.639 --> 00:10:29.440 free iHeartRadio app. You can go and check them out 188 00:10:29.519 --> 00:10:32.960 right now. Just download that new and improved app. You 189 00:10:33.000 --> 00:10:36.279 can make WBZ your first preset on the app too, 190 00:10:36.320 --> 00:10:38.240 by the way, which means you will never be more 191 00:10:38.240 --> 00:10:42.279 than a fingertip away from being in contact wherever you 192 00:10:42.320 --> 00:10:45.799 are in the world with WBZ. Three hundred and sixty 193 00:10:45.799 --> 00:10:48.320 five days, twenty four seven, My name's Dan Ray. Were 194 00:10:48.360 --> 00:10:52.440 come on right back talking about the complexity of female friendships. 195 00:10:53.639 --> 00:10:57.080 If you're on Night Side with Dan Ray on wb Z, 196 00:10:57.480 --> 00:11:00.360 Boston's news Radio. 197 00:11:01.639 --> 00:11:03.360 Now we're going to talk about something that I know 198 00:11:03.519 --> 00:11:07.000 nothing about. There's a lot of things I know nothing about, 199 00:11:07.200 --> 00:11:10.960 and one of them, is the strain that exists in 200 00:11:11.120 --> 00:11:15.639 female friendships and how those friendships are either ended or mended. 201 00:11:16.080 --> 00:11:18.799 We're don to talk about the complexity of female friendships. 202 00:11:19.080 --> 00:11:21.559 I have friendships with a lot of females, but that's 203 00:11:21.600 --> 00:11:23.679 not the type of friendship we're talking about with us, 204 00:11:23.759 --> 00:11:29.399 is gender expert and best selling author Susan Shapiro. Susan, 205 00:11:29.960 --> 00:11:34.799 I guess I always assume that friendships between women were 206 00:11:35.279 --> 00:11:40.919 similar to friendships between men. Sometimes friendships last your entire life, 207 00:11:41.000 --> 00:11:44.559 and sometimes you get disappointed. But I guess it's a 208 00:11:44.559 --> 00:11:48.559 little different according to your research. Tell us about it. 209 00:11:48.799 --> 00:11:52.639 Oh, it's totally different. And women hold the bar so 210 00:11:52.919 --> 00:11:57.000 high in these female friendships, and we actually feel that 211 00:11:57.200 --> 00:12:01.720 husbands or partners come and go, and jobs change and 212 00:12:02.000 --> 00:12:04.759 you move from here to there. But the female friend, 213 00:12:04.840 --> 00:12:08.639 the best friend or the closest friend, that's you know, forever, 214 00:12:08.919 --> 00:12:11.960 and it's just not what it is and things are 215 00:12:11.960 --> 00:12:13.960 really changing based on my research. 216 00:12:14.759 --> 00:12:17.600 So how did you get interested in this issue in 217 00:12:17.639 --> 00:12:19.879 the first place. I mean, obviously there must have been 218 00:12:19.879 --> 00:12:23.799 something that prompted you to to get just you know, 219 00:12:23.840 --> 00:12:25.639 get down and dig a little deeper here. 220 00:12:26.879 --> 00:12:30.799 Yeah, that's true. This is my fourteenth nonfiction book, and 221 00:12:31.440 --> 00:12:34.000 for each of my studies, I'm looking at how women 222 00:12:34.120 --> 00:12:38.480 really feel versus the faces we wear, and how women 223 00:12:38.519 --> 00:12:43.879 are positioned in contemporary American society, which means a patriarchal culture. 224 00:12:44.759 --> 00:12:48.559 So female friendship is, you know, something we've been taught 225 00:12:48.600 --> 00:12:53.600 since we were young, that it's just forever, and yet 226 00:12:53.679 --> 00:12:56.279 women in real time are saying, you know, my friend 227 00:12:56.320 --> 00:12:59.559 betrayed me. My friend didn't respect me. It hasn't been 228 00:12:59.600 --> 00:13:04.000 an equal relationship. My friend has a drug problem, a 229 00:13:04.120 --> 00:13:08.200 drinking problem, and I can't be her enabler anymore. My 230 00:13:08.360 --> 00:13:11.279 friend let someone get between us. You know, everything must 231 00:13:11.320 --> 00:13:13.919 fine until I found a new partner. Now it's a 232 00:13:13.960 --> 00:13:18.039 triangle and doesn't treat me the same. So we're seeing 233 00:13:18.120 --> 00:13:21.759 lots of real stories where women from twenty to eighty 234 00:13:22.399 --> 00:13:25.519 concided that they're now doing something that has to happen 235 00:13:25.639 --> 00:13:29.600 before and that it's their estranging and they're feeling empowered 236 00:13:29.679 --> 00:13:30.399 by that act. 237 00:13:31.240 --> 00:13:36.240 Okay, probably empowered, but maybe a little guilty too. I 238 00:13:36.240 --> 00:13:39.519 guess it's difficult here. It sounds to me, so has 239 00:13:39.600 --> 00:13:39.919 this one. 240 00:13:40.000 --> 00:13:42.440 They always you're right. I mean, it's not like a 241 00:13:42.480 --> 00:13:45.480 slam dunk. I mean, it takes a while and miss 242 00:13:45.519 --> 00:13:45.919 the friend. 243 00:13:46.000 --> 00:13:52.519 So has this always existed amongst women, or have they 244 00:13:52.679 --> 00:13:56.080 all of a sudden as they have spent more time 245 00:13:57.399 --> 00:14:03.639 working and in the dog eat patriarchal world that you mentioned, 246 00:14:05.600 --> 00:14:09.240 has that added to the complexities for them? Or is 247 00:14:08.879 --> 00:14:13.200 it something that that is something women have been dealing 248 00:14:13.240 --> 00:14:14.559 with since the Stone Ages. 249 00:14:15.879 --> 00:14:18.639 Women have been dealing with it but not really facing 250 00:14:18.679 --> 00:14:22.639 it because we've all been told that these friendships have 251 00:14:22.759 --> 00:14:24.919 to last, and that that's our safety haven. 252 00:14:25.559 --> 00:14:29.240 But I who told you? I don't understand that. Who 253 00:14:29.279 --> 00:14:31.919 told them that? I'm a little confused on that point. 254 00:14:32.000 --> 00:14:35.720 Did they learn that in school little messaging? Our mothers, 255 00:14:36.080 --> 00:14:40.480 our aunts are teachers, female teachers, They've all, you know, 256 00:14:41.000 --> 00:14:44.360 just it's been the story that sure there. I did 257 00:14:44.399 --> 00:14:48.000 a whole study in two thousand and six on female 258 00:14:48.080 --> 00:14:51.960 competition and rivalry. It's called tripping the prom queen. So 259 00:14:52.000 --> 00:14:54.639 it isn't that women haven't always known that there can 260 00:14:54.639 --> 00:14:58.080 be jealousy or competition among us, but that we were 261 00:14:58.120 --> 00:15:01.360 also always told that the true friend and this book 262 00:15:01.440 --> 00:15:04.960 is about your closest friend. It's not just about an 263 00:15:04.960 --> 00:15:08.639 acquaintance or someone you're not that close with. And how 264 00:15:08.679 --> 00:15:11.320 that person is someone you can rely on and it's 265 00:15:11.360 --> 00:15:14.639 not always the case. And what's interesting is that in 266 00:15:14.679 --> 00:15:19.200 the last two elections, and with vaccines and with raising 267 00:15:19.279 --> 00:15:23.879 children with or without vaccines beyond the COVID vaccine, these 268 00:15:23.919 --> 00:15:26.799 decisions have been very divisive for women. So some of 269 00:15:26.840 --> 00:15:29.320 the younger women in the study have said, you know, 270 00:15:29.639 --> 00:15:32.399 my friend and I don't have the same values anymore, 271 00:15:33.000 --> 00:15:36.320 and I can't live with that. I'm not comfortable anymore. 272 00:15:36.639 --> 00:15:39.480 And women didn't do that, just so I understand what 273 00:15:39.519 --> 00:15:43.240 you're saying there. Okay, so you're saying that when you 274 00:15:43.320 --> 00:15:46.639 mentioned the elections, I assume you're talking about presidential elections. 275 00:15:46.840 --> 00:15:49.279 I am. I am the last soul where it was 276 00:15:49.320 --> 00:15:50.559 like a line in the sand. 277 00:15:50.919 --> 00:15:55.559 If your bestie, if your bestie for thirty years all 278 00:15:55.600 --> 00:15:59.120 of a sudden confides in you that they've decided to 279 00:15:59.240 --> 00:16:03.000 vote different than you have in this election. It's like 280 00:16:03.000 --> 00:16:05.120 when a husband tells a wife that you know they're 281 00:16:05.159 --> 00:16:09.279 going to vote differently. That destroys a thirty year relationship. 282 00:16:10.720 --> 00:16:13.720 Not always, but for some women it seemed to be 283 00:16:13.759 --> 00:16:17.360 a deal breaker that when their values weren't the same. 284 00:16:18.879 --> 00:16:22.320 It was in the last two years when I started 285 00:16:22.320 --> 00:16:26.039 this research, you know, on a deadline to get the 286 00:16:26.039 --> 00:16:28.799 book finished, and I was listening to so many women, 287 00:16:29.519 --> 00:16:32.080 and it was a very diverse group of women, and 288 00:16:32.399 --> 00:16:36.639 they kept saying that things seemed more black and white 289 00:16:36.679 --> 00:16:39.559 than it used to be, not so great, and that 290 00:16:39.720 --> 00:16:42.039 was just one of the deal breakers, which was interesting. 291 00:16:43.080 --> 00:16:46.200 I've done politics for a long time and it's it 292 00:16:46.279 --> 00:16:50.200 was always black and white in terms of Democrat and Republican. 293 00:16:50.399 --> 00:16:53.279 I know that everybody likes to say, let's go back 294 00:16:53.320 --> 00:16:57.120 to the good old days. Unfortunately, sadly, there were there 295 00:16:57.120 --> 00:17:01.320 have been elections throughout you know, our retireity street going 296 00:17:01.360 --> 00:17:05.519 back millennium, not millennium, but a couple of centuries where 297 00:17:05.559 --> 00:17:08.680 they've got a really, really nasty let me come back 298 00:17:08.720 --> 00:17:14.000 to So you've defined the problem for particularly women, and 299 00:17:14.039 --> 00:17:17.519 I suspect that there have been some men who decided 300 00:17:17.599 --> 00:17:20.519 that their best bowling buddy now is going to vote 301 00:17:20.920 --> 00:17:24.000 off from them, that that costs some male relationship some 302 00:17:24.079 --> 00:17:27.119 male friendships too. But I have no research like you have. 303 00:17:27.400 --> 00:17:31.400 So what do women have to do to to basically, 304 00:17:31.559 --> 00:17:36.039 I guess, get past this obstacle? Or is it just 305 00:17:36.079 --> 00:17:39.160 an obstacle that unfortunately is going to be there forever 306 00:17:40.400 --> 00:17:40.920 well in. 307 00:17:40.960 --> 00:17:43.039 Terms of having different values. 308 00:17:43.400 --> 00:17:46.519 It really in terms of not being able to say 309 00:17:46.519 --> 00:17:48.559 to a close friend, you know what. You and I 310 00:17:48.599 --> 00:17:52.839 disagree on this, Okay, I mean, but you're still my 311 00:17:52.920 --> 00:17:56.240 best friend and I'll vote this way, you vote that way. 312 00:17:56.319 --> 00:18:00.160 Let's go have a drink. How do you how do 313 00:18:00.200 --> 00:18:02.240 you get past? Now? I'm not just talking about the election, 314 00:18:02.440 --> 00:18:03.839 but all of a sudden you're going to lose a 315 00:18:03.880 --> 00:18:06.079 friend over something, I don't know what, whether it's an 316 00:18:06.079 --> 00:18:08.880 election or all of a sudden you find out that 317 00:18:08.960 --> 00:18:15.880 your friend is a closet Yankee fan. I've known you 318 00:18:15.920 --> 00:18:18.119 all these years, You've gone to be with you with 319 00:18:18.200 --> 00:18:21.039 Red Sox games, and now you have a picture of 320 00:18:21.200 --> 00:18:24.920 Derek Jeter in your apartment. Why didn't you tell me 321 00:18:25.200 --> 00:18:28.880 I'm never speaking to you again. I'm trying to write 322 00:18:28.960 --> 00:18:29.359 this up. 323 00:18:29.319 --> 00:18:33.160 A little bit, okay, but Dan, it doesn't really play 324 00:18:33.160 --> 00:18:36.319 out like that. I mean, it's that's just one section 325 00:18:36.440 --> 00:18:39.359 of the book. But in my study, women talked about 326 00:18:39.400 --> 00:18:42.640 being betrayed by a friend, feeling that the friend didn't 327 00:18:42.680 --> 00:18:46.079 respect them, they weren't treated equally. The friend had chosen 328 00:18:46.119 --> 00:18:47.680 a very different lifestyle. 329 00:18:48.240 --> 00:18:51.559 So what's the solution. Unfortunately, I'm getting close to my 330 00:18:51.839 --> 00:18:53.680 to the end of our time here, and I'm having 331 00:18:53.720 --> 00:18:56.920 fun with this. I'm really enjoying this conversation. I think 332 00:18:56.960 --> 00:18:59.240 you and I, if we have had dinner together, we 333 00:18:59.279 --> 00:19:02.039 would either be friends or would be screaming of each other. 334 00:19:02.200 --> 00:19:06.839 But so, what can women do? How do you? I 335 00:19:06.880 --> 00:19:09.240 know it must be horrible when you feel that a 336 00:19:09.279 --> 00:19:13.119 friend of thirty or thirty five years turns out to 337 00:19:13.240 --> 00:19:15.880 disappoint you, and I'm sure there's plenty of ways that 338 00:19:15.880 --> 00:19:19.559 can happen. How do you do you have to just 339 00:19:19.799 --> 00:19:22.079 kind of ignore it? Or do you have to say 340 00:19:22.160 --> 00:19:24.279 that's it, I'm finding a new bestie. 341 00:19:25.119 --> 00:19:28.039 Well, women aren't that good at confronting people. You know, 342 00:19:28.160 --> 00:19:30.200 that's not their favorite things, so they don't. 343 00:19:30.039 --> 00:19:35.359 Really met My wife Susan go ah, okay, well a 344 00:19:35.400 --> 00:19:38.680 lot of I'm teasy. I'm trying to or my daughter. 345 00:19:40.119 --> 00:19:43.160 I'm trying to lighten it up here at you what what? What? 346 00:19:43.160 --> 00:19:46.279 What advice? Well? Better yet, I think what women should do? 347 00:19:46.920 --> 00:19:48.920 So I think they should buy this book so that 348 00:19:48.920 --> 00:19:53.720 that we've we've outlined the problem, and I hope that 349 00:19:53.720 --> 00:19:57.799 that you've provided perhaps some solutions, potential solutions. 350 00:19:58.240 --> 00:20:01.640 There are solutions there and ideas. Just stranging and feeling 351 00:20:01.680 --> 00:20:04.559 okay about it is one of the solutions for sure. 352 00:20:04.559 --> 00:20:07.960 Excellent, excellent, okay, Susan. When is the book out? Is it? 353 00:20:08.000 --> 00:20:08.759 Is it already out? 354 00:20:09.039 --> 00:20:10.720 Book is just out now? 355 00:20:10.920 --> 00:20:15.799 Good? Good? Great? Okay, So they can find it at 356 00:20:15.960 --> 00:20:19.799 I'm sure Amazon are great bookstores. It's simply called I believe. 357 00:20:19.839 --> 00:20:24.759 If I'm wrong, tell me estranged how strained female friendships 358 00:20:24.839 --> 00:20:26.519 are mended or ended? 359 00:20:27.319 --> 00:20:27.640 Perfect? 360 00:20:27.720 --> 00:20:31.880 Corrects? All right, thanks joined the conversation. I really did. 361 00:20:31.920 --> 00:20:34.480 I like to get into this stuff, even though it's 362 00:20:34.480 --> 00:20:38.000 a set relatively brief period of time. Uh uh. And 363 00:20:38.079 --> 00:20:40.839 I listen to everything you said, and I'm taking it 364 00:20:41.279 --> 00:20:44.720 into consideration and I really appreciate great. 365 00:20:45.759 --> 00:20:47.000 Thanks very much. 366 00:20:46.880 --> 00:20:49.440 Susan, You're very welcome. Okay. We got the news coming 367 00:20:49.519 --> 00:20:51.319 up at a thirty and then we're going to talk 368 00:20:51.359 --> 00:20:55.599 about a big team walk for cancer care involving the 369 00:20:55.759 --> 00:20:59.640 Lowell General Hospital up in Lowell, which is a great facility. 370 00:20:59.680 --> 00:21:02.079 And we'll also talk a little bit later on at 371 00:21:02.079 --> 00:21:06.240 eight forty five with the Center for Disease Control weighing 372 00:21:06.440 --> 00:21:11.359 some end options of universal COVID vaccine recommendations. Talking with 373 00:21:11.400 --> 00:21:14.200 doctor Shira Doron, who's been with us many times. We'll 374 00:21:14.200 --> 00:21:15.599 be back on Nightside right after this. 375 00:21:17.319 --> 00:21:20.680 You're on Nightside with Dan Ray on w b Z, 376 00:21:21.079 --> 00:21:23.480 Boston's News Radio. 377 00:21:23.880 --> 00:21:27.119 All right, thank you very much, Emma. As always as 378 00:21:27.160 --> 00:21:30.480 we will continue our conversations here in the eight o'clock hour. 379 00:21:31.240 --> 00:21:35.519 Like to introduce Bruce Robinson. Bruce, welcome to Nightside. 380 00:21:35.799 --> 00:21:37.799 Thank you, Dan, Thank you for inviting us. 381 00:21:38.279 --> 00:21:40.799 Bruce is on the board of trustees. He's also the 382 00:21:40.920 --> 00:21:45.799 development chair at Lowell General Hospital. And you folks have 383 00:21:45.920 --> 00:21:49.960 a big team walk for cancer Care coming up, not 384 00:21:50.160 --> 00:21:54.400 this Sunday, but the following Sunday. Tell us about this. 385 00:21:54.519 --> 00:21:59.960 Is this a new effort to pull your team together 386 00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:02.640 or is this an annual event that has been going 387 00:22:02.640 --> 00:22:05.079 on for some time at Lowell General. 388 00:22:06.279 --> 00:22:09.799 This is, in fact, Dan our twenty six annual Team 389 00:22:09.880 --> 00:22:13.279 Walk for Cancer Care. So this has been a long 390 00:22:13.400 --> 00:22:17.119 standing event that we do once a year, and over 391 00:22:17.160 --> 00:22:21.359 the twenty five years to date, we've raised over sixteen 392 00:22:21.559 --> 00:22:25.119 million dollars and we've been able to provide help for 393 00:22:25.200 --> 00:22:28.480 over forty two thousand patients who are fighting cancer. 394 00:22:29.400 --> 00:22:33.799 Wow, twenty five years, sixteen million dollars. So you folks 395 00:22:33.960 --> 00:22:38.079 raise quite a bit of money every year. It looks 396 00:22:38.559 --> 00:22:42.680 I'm looking at the flyer that you folks sent to us, 397 00:22:42.720 --> 00:22:48.720 and I guess you have a parking at the Songus Center, 398 00:22:48.960 --> 00:22:52.640 which makes it easier. This event goes rain or shine. 399 00:22:52.799 --> 00:22:56.480 It starts at eight o'clock on that Sunday morning, May fourth. 400 00:22:56.920 --> 00:23:03.039 It's a three mile walk, so that's a relatively easy route. 401 00:23:04.119 --> 00:23:06.799