Speaker 1: All right, Andre apparently shakes his wife Lexi upside down
after dropping a load in her.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he calls it the prescudo.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I call it like the chicken the chip bag.
It's like, you know how you like have a few
chips stuck up there and you tap.
Speaker 3: On it as you have your mouth open. Uh huh,
just to get it down there.
Speaker 2: Oh got it?
Speaker 4: Now?
Speaker 5: Now we we should say you called it the chip
bag kind of under duress, right, because you've never called
it the chip bag once. You've never even thought to
call it anything. But if we're calling things, if we're
if we're here calling things things, then.
Speaker 4: We might as well call it the chip bag.
Speaker 3: Well, which I need to call something?
Speaker 5: Hi, Hello, and welcome to the Patreon exclusive recap of
Bravos as a city.
Speaker 2: City of New York.
Speaker 5: Where Ruby is from, where Papay Do girl is front.
She's not from there, She's from me. I'm Dylan, that's
pat I don't know.
Speaker 1: If you knew this, Dylan, what God made Los Angeles
but lives in New York?
Speaker 4: God made lot?
Speaker 2: Is that a Mickey avalon?
Speaker 3: Now it's a quote that I heard.
Speaker 1: I just watched Real Housewives of Orange County the new season,
and Heather de Bro's mom is pretty prominent.
Speaker 3: We've never seen her.
Speaker 1: And Heather de Brow goes, hey, why don't you hang
out with your fucking grandkids? She says, I love New
York And she goes, well, you could love La, and
she says like an old, rich, fucking hoity toity person says, look, Darling,
God created Los Angeles, but he lives in New York.
Speaker 3: I love this old bag.
Speaker 5: Oh really, I'm excited to see her. Sounds like a
little bit of an Anna winter Light.
Speaker 4: I bet you.
Speaker 3: She looks like she's eighty four. Yeah, and she looks
like she's fifty four.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: She would own slaves if she could. Ruby's here, are
joining us from New York?
Speaker 4: How are you.
Speaker 3: Very hot?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 6: How are you? Jill?
Speaker 5: Is your is your thervistat's set to seventy eight degrees?
Speaker 4: Ruby?
Speaker 5: Is it set to seventy eight? Patty would be a
pig and shit in New.
Speaker 2: York right now?
Speaker 3: I'd be fine there. I can live anywhere. America is fine.
It's alive.
Speaker 2: And well, no, no, no, we're talking about the temperature.
Speaker 1: Oh but I think you were referring to the mayor
over there had mandated that everyone needs to set there there.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so I'm saying that you'd be happy in that
in that inclement.
Speaker 3: Like eighty two.
Speaker 6: It's not insane.
Speaker 3: It's not hot enough.
Speaker 2: It's not hot enough for you.
Speaker 4: Okay, got it.
Speaker 5: Well, Ruby is joining us to break down all of
the pink dresses, all of the white dresses, all of
the sylvenirs and more.
Speaker 2: We missed Ruby, who is has.
Speaker 4: Been in New York for Are we.
Speaker 5: Calling it fifty percent of your life at this point
or what like forty five?
Speaker 6: Yeah, we're almost there.
Speaker 3: My god.
Speaker 5: Yeah, she's been there for enough time. Can I say,
would you get out of New York? It's like ridiculous.
We don't need to get into the family stuff right now.
Speaker 3: She's just tired there for the Tea Swift wedding.
Speaker 5: I know she is going to the te Swift wedding.
That's why she's got to get out of here pretty quickly.
But yes, we missed Ruby last week, but Ruby will
be with us for the rest of the season to
break down in the city. It is her show, It
is her city. It is New York bitches.
Speaker 1: By the way, Yeah, when you say you're stealing uh
in the.
Speaker 3: City over ole.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, So what we should do is take the
Taylor Swift song Living in New York. I believe that's
on eighty nine, nineteen eighty nine the record. It's the
opening track, isn't it.
Speaker 2: My God? I'm gonna fucking throw a throw up.
Speaker 6: I'm nah, I don't know Patrick, and that's because I've
never wanted to know, but sure maybe sh're.
Speaker 5: Notm ugh my god, let me clean the bile from
the back of my throat and Ruby Road to you.
How many Solvenirs would you give this episode? And are
you good with the rating system? Being Sylvenirs love.
Speaker 6: The rating system? Yeah, this felt like a fever dream
a little bit. This was like thet.
Speaker 3: It's a great track. I'm not a big fan of hers,
but this one gets me going. Yeah, have you ever
heard this? Rubeat?
Speaker 2: You know, I don't know problem when you were moving.
Speaker 1: Your boxes into your little, uh thirty square foot apartment,
you weren't vlaaring this and saying I own this city.
Speaker 2: Oh, welcome to you.
Speaker 7: Oh wow, this is perfect.
Speaker 6: Pot I love this.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Oh, I have heard this song.
Speaker 6: I've heard this song.
Speaker 4: Yeah, We're.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Page that should be our news going to doing this.
Speaker 4: No, no, we've we're not going to do that.
Speaker 5: We're going with very ligious, We're going with the krooner.
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, so I interrupted, Ruby.
Speaker 6: Okay, I thought it was a fever dream in the
best way. Although largely, why are you laughing?
Speaker 5: Because he's such a dope, this guy.
Speaker 6: Patty with his study ankles, I think, Okay, I largely
I was gonna say, I don't care.
Speaker 2: Can I stop you really quickly?
Speaker 5: Because people love Patty? Okay, Patty is a fan favorite.
I want to talk about a sexy little ankles for
a second, because his ankles are sexy. He is constantly
gravely injured throughout the rest of his lower leg, but
his ankles remain untouched, as though his mother was a
demigod that dipped him in some kind of pool. It's crazy, though,
isn't that true? You always have wounds all over your shit,
I do.
Speaker 3: My wife thinks I'm a serial killer.
Speaker 4: But your ankles remain perfectly intact.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, well, I mean, of course.
Speaker 5: Okay, Ribs, let's throw back to you. Let's get into it, Rufe,
what'd you think about this fever dream?
Speaker 6: Thank you? Back to the studio. I think that these
people are largely uninteresting but desperate for this show to succeed,
so that part of it is like kind of I
guess it's entertaining to watch them fight for their lives. Yeah,
watching Amanda and Kyle knowing what we know now because
we're here in this current time, right, boy, oh boy, we're.
Speaker 4: Like, we're like a memento. It's like memento.
Speaker 6: Yep, We're like, well, and that's exactly what it's like.
I would give it fortys how.
Speaker 4: Many sylvenirs would you give it?
Speaker 1: Well, I'm going to harken back to a film, an
original film that was later remade by I believe Paul
Rudd Heka. It's called Dinner for Schmucks.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: The premise of that film is a bunch of people, Well,
it's a contest who can bring the biggest affoon to
a dinner party, and the person that brings the biggest
idiot gets a promotion at work.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna apply this to this, I guess this wedding dinner.
Speaker 4: I think it's a perfect, perfect thing to apply to.
Speaker 3: Where everyone at this dinner table won. There's no losers.
Speaker 1: Everyone was an imbecile at this table, including Gavin, who
is a magnificent shit stir. Yeah, Danielle, I think we
can all agree that we hate her guts.
Speaker 5: You know, the way that you feel about Gavin, I
feel about Danielle. I'm like, I'm grateful that Danielle's there.
I have an animus towards Gavin that is just a
broiler kind of hot.
Speaker 4: You.
Speaker 5: I feel like you feel that towards Danielle, But you're
okay with Gavin because you see the utility in him.
Speaker 1: Well, his utility is is someone needs to shake things up,
and why not it just be some rando that has
no business talking about these things? Yeah, yeah, yeah, And
it really pisses people off, like Amanda, like, why are you?
Speaker 2: Who are you?
Speaker 3: Who are you?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 3: I've been on television for ten years, you little motherfucker.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you're asking me about my marriage and who
if do I still love this man?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 3: Who are you?
Speaker 2: Yeah? He's like, uh, I don't need.
Speaker 3: To make sure.
Speaker 1: I Typically I don't like stationary episodes where you spend
half an episode at one in one scene at a
dinner table.
Speaker 3: This one was just so insane. There were so many
laughable moments.
Speaker 5: Sure, it was like an episode of Succession kind of
oh was it?
Speaker 4: Yeah? But bad?
Speaker 2: Like not.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gonna give it fourteen Sylvenirs.
Speaker 4: Fourteen Sylvenirs. Okay.
Speaker 5: The main thing that I took from this episode I'm
softening on Kenny, just because I think that Kenny's been
taking a back seat a little bit.
Speaker 4: He's still a douchebag.
Speaker 5: But and and forgive me, I haven't seen all of
the first half of the season, but I've seen, you know,
a little bit that's here and here and there for
these last two episodes of My overarching takeaways are that
Gavin is just one of the most annoying people.
Speaker 2: He's perfect for the valley.
Speaker 5: He reminds me of Zach a little bit, just a
grading humiliating individual. But Yvonne is uh next up on
my ship list, and Ruby is aghast. I cannot stand Yvonne.
I cannot stand Yvonne.
Speaker 3: She is the most normal person on this entire cast.
Speaker 6: God Patrick, I was literally just about to say, before
you espouse that insanity, how how does she work?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 6: What what does I do not understand? I don't think
she's on my ship list. I just want to watch
her like a like a gorilla in an exhibit. What
do you how are you here? This is the least norm.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, really, this is so, this is what's so crazy.
Speaker 3: She's friends with Linday Hubber for the last ten years.
Speaker 5: So this is what's so crazy about these two. This
this Thelma and louis coupling. Okay, so we know PR people,
people that work in PR.
Speaker 2: We know some good ones, but.
Speaker 5: There's also a kind of acceptable awfulness in PR.
Speaker 2: You have to be pushy.
Speaker 5: You have to put your clients above everyone else. People
who are breaking up the schedule that you have for
the day of press could and should be killed in
your perfect world. They're not the nicest people. Lindsay and
Yvonne are so grating and so awful that they were
ostracized from the profession.
Speaker 2: They were kicked out to the cornfield.
Speaker 5: Now, I know that Yvonne is in event planning and
it's not strict PR, but it's a similar thing where
you're allotted a lot of room to be a bit
of a fashion and I think that Yvonne didn't mix
well with others and a particularly surly kitty.
Speaker 1: Well, I would like to hear Ruby's thoughts. Unless she
completely agrees with you, why is she insane?
Speaker 2: I give it twelve sylvenirs.
Speaker 6: Okay, I really don't and I could be completely fucking wrong.
I loved West for three years. I do not think
that she is mean. I think she's like rather kind
of the opposite. Like if, for example, if it were
not my wedding dinner, but just a dinner that I
had thrown on a Tuesday and people were doing that,
I would say it would be very easy to control them.
She is she's kind of a weak target.
Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe that's an interesting yeah maybe.
Speaker 1: Or kind of polite and even keeled, because she doesn't
say get the fuck out of here.
Speaker 3: She's like, hey, everybody, this is our wedding.
Speaker 5: Yeah, there's something Maybe maybe awfulness.
Speaker 4: Was the wrong route to go down.
Speaker 2: But there's something off about her. Okay, there's something off.
Speaker 3: I mean, they're on TV.
Speaker 1: There's some thing off about all these people. I say
the world can be defined by this. There are two
types of people in the world, people that want to
be on TV and people that don't.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's something wrong with you.
Speaker 3: If you want to be on reality TV, you'd have.
Speaker 4: To pay me so much money to be on reality TV.
Speaker 5: You have to give me at least forty five thousand.
Speaker 3: Dollars ten thousand dollars an episode.
Speaker 4: Yes, I'd say, okay, seven, I'm not getting out of bed.
If you don't give me five.
Speaker 5: Thousand dollars an episode, I'd be like, absolutely not, go away.
Speaker 4: That's what i'd say.
Speaker 2: Let's get into the episode.
Speaker 5: We begin with the West Village at a bar helmed
by bald Man named Destiny, which was a name that
I thought was reserved for black women and Latina strippers.
I didn't think that white bald guys could be named Destiny.
Speaker 2: Am I crazy? No? Am I crazy?
Speaker 7: No? Start spreading the news I'm leaving today.
Speaker 1: I want to be a part of it New York,
New