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<v Speaker 1>One day, I'd had an argument with my then boss

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<v Speaker 1>and decided to go out for a walk in the

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<v Speaker 1>woods to cool off. And by a walk in the woods,

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<v Speaker 1>I intended for it to be just that, a walk,

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<v Speaker 1>not a high corn excursion, nor a journey, and certainly

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<v Speaker 1>not an ordeal which could have cost me my life.

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<v Speaker 1>The area in which I decided to go for a

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<v Speaker 1>walk was part of a state park, so I thought

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<v Speaker 1>stomping through the woods would be better than stomping on

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<v Speaker 1>my boss's head and thus ending my perfectly clean record.

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<v Speaker 1>I'd never been arrested or even suspected of anything, so

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<v Speaker 1>I was already kind of a nerve that I'd let Keith,

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<v Speaker 1>my boss's name, get under my skin so bad with

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<v Speaker 1>mere words. Looking back, I'm sure he meant well and

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<v Speaker 1>was trying to push me into give him my best,

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<v Speaker 1>but as a then nineteen year old, I knew better

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<v Speaker 1>than everyone else and was insulted rather than taking a

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<v Speaker 1>spep talk to heart. I've never been a violent person

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<v Speaker 1>and never hid anyone in anger, so this was one

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<v Speaker 1>of my secrets, my relief mechanism. It was walking off

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<v Speaker 1>in the forests of Ohio on this particular day, I

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't paying too much attention to where I was going.

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<v Speaker 1>Once I arrived at the state park, I parked my

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<v Speaker 1>truck and locked it up in the parking area, snapped

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<v Speaker 1>on a small day pack in my garment GPS, and

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<v Speaker 1>stomped off into the woods and solace at long last.

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<v Speaker 1>Now let me stop right here and say that I

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<v Speaker 1>learned a valuable lesson that day. First of all, if

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<v Speaker 1>you're going into the woods, even for fifteen minutes, pack

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<v Speaker 1>enough supplies, food, water, matches, candles, extra clothing, dry socks,

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<v Speaker 1>et cetera. As if you were going into the woods

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<v Speaker 1>for a minimum of a day or two. Literally, this

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<v Speaker 1>one simple act of over preparing could save your life.

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<v Speaker 1>And oh, yes, batteries by all means, pack batteries, especially

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<v Speaker 1>if you have things you depend on that need them,

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<v Speaker 1>like a flashlight and a garment GPS that can lead

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<v Speaker 1>you back to the parking lot even in total absolute darkness. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>the batteries of my GPS died by my estimation, about

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<v Speaker 1>two hours into the trip. And if you've ever been

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<v Speaker 1>in deep woods, well away from the ambient light and

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<v Speaker 1>light pollution of the city, you realize the kind of

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<v Speaker 1>total absolute darkness I'm describing being lost within. So here

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<v Speaker 1>I was gathering my thoughts and getting all calm and

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<v Speaker 1>collected in the middle of the woods. Ah, glorious nature. Now,

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<v Speaker 1>about the time I calmed down and was once again

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<v Speaker 1>at peace with myself, I had a few sudden revelations

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<v Speaker 1>dawn upon me. Number one, it's getting dark. Number two,

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<v Speaker 1>it's getting cold. Number three, I have no idea where

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<v Speaker 1>I'm located of the Ninna State Park. And then revelation

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<v Speaker 1>number four immediately followed when I whipped out my trusty

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<v Speaker 1>garment GPS, only to watch it chuckle weekly then die

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<v Speaker 1>completely as I tried to power it on. As you

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<v Speaker 1>may have guessed, none of these myriad of revelations could

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<v Speaker 1>be considered a good thing at the time. In fact,

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<v Speaker 1>rest assured they were all very, very bad things. My

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<v Speaker 1>first thought that wasn't filled with explotives, was to get

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<v Speaker 1>a look at the night sky and see if I

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<v Speaker 1>could chart a course by the stars. As luck would

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<v Speaker 1>have it, I was in a low valley or what

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<v Speaker 1>they call a holler, and down south and couldn't see

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<v Speaker 1>the night sky due to the centuries of tree cover

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<v Speaker 1>above my head provided by the old growth timber. Furthermore,

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<v Speaker 1>Even if I had been on the highest point in

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<v Speaker 1>the park and standing on my tiptoes, I still wouldn't

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<v Speaker 1>be able to see the first celestial body with which

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<v Speaker 1>to guide myself. The sky was completely overcast and the

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<v Speaker 1>light rain was beginning to fall lovely, So now I

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<v Speaker 1>was really in a predicament, lost in the dark, without food, water,

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<v Speaker 1>extra clothing or batteries for my GPS in the cold

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<v Speaker 1>and rain. Also, I had neglected to tell anyone where

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<v Speaker 1>I was going or when I would be expected back. Brilliant,

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<v Speaker 1>I thought, simply brilliant. It was the beginning of my

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<v Speaker 1>weekend too. I was off from work and away from

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<v Speaker 1>the Devil aka my boss, for the next two entire days,

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<v Speaker 1>meaning it would be more than forty eight hours, more

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<v Speaker 1>like sixty probably before I would even be missed at work.

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<v Speaker 1>I did what anyone would do in circumstances, and in fact,

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<v Speaker 1>it really is what most people do, and they don't

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<v Speaker 1>even realize it. I didn't. I started walking in circles.

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<v Speaker 1>Now that's not to say I thought about it and decided, gee,

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<v Speaker 1>you know what, I pitifi started walking in circles. Everything

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<v Speaker 1>will be cool and groovy. No, I was actually trying

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<v Speaker 1>to walk back to the parking lot at my truck.

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<v Speaker 1>I kept thinking something, anything, would look familiar, and I

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<v Speaker 1>would find the way back. But after a couple of

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<v Speaker 1>frustrating hours of passing what appeared to be the same

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<v Speaker 1>rocks and trees they were, I admitted that since I

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<v Speaker 1>was lost, I was probably walking in circles, which I was,

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<v Speaker 1>so essentially I wasted two hours of energy for nothing,

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<v Speaker 1>only making myself more tired, more wet, and more cold

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<v Speaker 1>in the process. So I decided to do the next

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<v Speaker 1>thing that most people do in these type of situations.

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<v Speaker 1>I sat down on the ground by cher and cried,

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<v Speaker 1>really I did. After regaining my composure from the sobbing,

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<v Speaker 1>I decided the third best thing to do would be

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<v Speaker 1>to try to find some kind of shelter of the

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<v Speaker 1>increasingly heavier rain. Of course, the best time to pick

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<v Speaker 1>out a spot to shelter is in the daytime, and

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<v Speaker 1>plan I had for when you need it, not after

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<v Speaker 1>it's dark and cold and rainy and you're already wet

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<v Speaker 1>and lost all went hungry. I forgot to mention that

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<v Speaker 1>by this time I was starving. I finally got underneath

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<v Speaker 1>a pine tree and slept a little with fit full,

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<v Speaker 1>miserable sleep. Looking back, I seriously doubt that I slept

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<v Speaker 1>more than an hour, or maybe even two. I'd been

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<v Speaker 1>up most of the night, and when I dozed and awakened,

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<v Speaker 1>I could just make out the faintest glimmer of dawn

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<v Speaker 1>beginning to subtly peek over the far mountain side. I

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<v Speaker 1>groaned as I stood. Having spent the night on the cold,

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<v Speaker 1>damp ground had definitely taken its toll on my joint.

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<v Speaker 1>At least, I hadn't succumbed to hypothermia, at least not yet,

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<v Speaker 1>so I had that going for me. Anyway. The rain

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<v Speaker 1>was still falling, although it was just more of a damp,

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<v Speaker 1>misting writing and rather than a soaking downpour. I guessed

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<v Speaker 1>at the time I was counting my blessings that the

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<v Speaker 1>drops were almost microscopic, but I was still soaked to

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<v Speaker 1>the skin either way. Oddly enough, I did feel kind

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<v Speaker 1>of warm inside my damp clothes. I supposed it was

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<v Speaker 1>because my body was losing heat faster than normal. This

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<v Speaker 1>thought scared me. I didn't want to die, not now,

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<v Speaker 1>not out here in these desolate woods. On the second day,

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<v Speaker 1>now in progress, I became convinced that I was going

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<v Speaker 1>to die. I'd already resolved myself to accept this fate.

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<v Speaker 1>I was going to die out here alone, deep in

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<v Speaker 1>the woods. I'd never see my family or friends again,

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<v Speaker 1>and the next time they saw me, if they ever did,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd be a skeleton and soverding clothes. And that's if

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<v Speaker 1>the animals of the forest didn't gnaw and scatter my bones.

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<v Speaker 1>Of times I actually sat or laid down at the

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<v Speaker 1>base of a tree, thinking this looks like a nice,

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<v Speaker 1>comfortable place to draw my last breath. But over time,

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<v Speaker 1>and sometimes without even realizing it, I would get up

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<v Speaker 1>and start walking again. As I trudged along, I started

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<v Speaker 1>hearing what I thought was my heart pounding in my ears,

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<v Speaker 1>except that it sounded too slow for my heart. Great,

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<v Speaker 1>I thought, my heart will just stop and I'll roll

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<v Speaker 1>down the mountain into a gully and becomes squirrel food.

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<v Speaker 1>I was exhausted to the point that I was, without

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<v Speaker 1>even realizing it, basically delirious and on the verge of

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<v Speaker 1>having visual and oral hallucinations. Then it slowly dawned on

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<v Speaker 1>me my brain was working in slow motion that the

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<v Speaker 1>rhythmic thud thud that I was hearing wasn't my heart

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<v Speaker 1>beat at all, but rather someone chopping wood. Okay, cool,

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<v Speaker 1>I thought there was a lumberjack or a woodsman about wait,

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<v Speaker 1>another person. I was saved suddenly, after what seemed like

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<v Speaker 1>I'd been sleepwalking for hours and hours, I was wide

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<v Speaker 1>awake and almost run toward the sound of the woodsman's axe.

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<v Speaker 1>Sure Enough, shortly I saw a guy in a red

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<v Speaker 1>and black flannel floating away slowly and methodically had a

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<v Speaker 1>tree with a double bladed axe. I staggered up to

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<v Speaker 1>him and burned out my predicament. I vaguely remember him

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<v Speaker 1>apologizing for not having any food or water to offer me,

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<v Speaker 1>or any dry clothes or anything, but he could show

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<v Speaker 1>me the way out. He just kind of pointed up

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<v Speaker 1>a steep bank off to my left. I thanked him

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<v Speaker 1>and began working my way up the embankment by grabbing

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<v Speaker 1>small saplings and hoisting myself up one hundred or so

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<v Speaker 1>feet to the top. After what seemed like an eternity,

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<v Speaker 1>I finally made the top and collapsed on the edge

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<v Speaker 1>of a packed dirt road. I had been this close

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<v Speaker 1>all along, but had no idea which way to go. Exhausted,

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<v Speaker 1>I was content just to sit for a while shortly,

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<v Speaker 1>I heard the sound of an approaching vehicle, and as

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<v Speaker 1>luck would have it, a park service truck appeared momentarily,

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<v Speaker 1>and I waved the ranger down. Maybe I wasn't going

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<v Speaker 1>to die out here after all. I imagine I looked like

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<v Speaker 1>an insane person, and the ranger kind of eyed me

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<v Speaker 1>unbelievably when I told him about the woodcutter just down

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<v Speaker 1>the slope. He told me to get in help myself

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<v Speaker 1>to bottle water and some packs of snack crackers lying

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<v Speaker 1>on the seat. I only had to be invited once,

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<v Speaker 1>and it all tasted like pure heaven to me. The

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<v Speaker 1>ranger disappeared over the side of the road and reappeared

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<v Speaker 1>a few minutes later. When I asked about the woodcutter,

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<v Speaker 1>he only muttered something about us being at the park

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<v Speaker 1>service station in a few minutes. When we got there,

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<v Speaker 1>he and the other rangers decided it would be best

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<v Speaker 1>if they called an ambulance from the county and had

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<v Speaker 1>me go to the hospital to be looked over. I

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<v Speaker 1>was dehydrated, and I'm sure I looked a fright. Before

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<v Speaker 1>the ambulance came to take me away, I once again

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<v Speaker 1>asked the ranger about the guy cutting wood. I hoped

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<v Speaker 1>I hadn't gotten him in too much trouble. The ranger

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<v Speaker 1>looked me straight in the eye and said, son, there

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't anyone down there, no sign anyone had been there recently,

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<v Speaker 1>and certainly no one cutting trees down. We sort of

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<v Speaker 1>frown on that sort of thing, he said, smiling. He

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<v Speaker 1>patted me on the shoulder, and that was into the discussion,

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<v Speaker 1>so I just let it go with that. Looking back,

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<v Speaker 1>I realized that I was probably near death, and I

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<v Speaker 1>may have been hallucinating, but the man with the acts

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<v Speaker 1>that I saw and talked to was as real as

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<v Speaker 1>you or me. I can't explain it. Was he a ghost,

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<v Speaker 1>a guardian angel? I have no idea. The only thing

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sure of is that there are some things that

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<v Speaker 1>can't be explained.