WEBVTT 1 00:00:02.240 --> 00:00:06.679 You're not here by accident. Something in you clicked on this, 2 00:00:07.519 --> 00:00:12.199 stayed a little longer, kept listening because a deeper part 3 00:00:12.199 --> 00:00:15.279 of you is tired of feeling stuck and is ready 4 00:00:15.320 --> 00:00:19.199 for a new way. So let me begin by telling 5 00:00:19.239 --> 00:00:23.320 you something very important. There is nothing wrong with you 6 00:00:23.440 --> 00:00:27.079 because you haven't moved forward yet. You are not lazy, 7 00:00:27.640 --> 00:00:31.079 You are not broken, You are not doomed. You have 8 00:00:31.160 --> 00:00:35.399 simply been carrying too much weight inside. Life may look 9 00:00:35.439 --> 00:00:38.600 the same on the outside, but the real struggle is 10 00:00:38.640 --> 00:00:42.320 happening in your own mind and heart. And that, my dear, 11 00:00:42.399 --> 00:00:45.799 is actually good news because what is inside of you 12 00:00:46.280 --> 00:00:52.159 can be changed, softened, healed. As you listen today, I 13 00:00:52.240 --> 00:00:55.840 want you to hold this anchor close. I am willing 14 00:00:55.920 --> 00:00:59.719 to change. I am safe to move forward. The power 15 00:00:59.759 --> 00:01:02.960 is within me. Now we will come back to this 16 00:01:03.039 --> 00:01:06.159 again and again, like a soft drum beat beneath everything 17 00:01:06.200 --> 00:01:10.760 I say. Many people believe they can't move forward because 18 00:01:10.799 --> 00:01:14.480 the world has gotten harder. The economy is worse, people 19 00:01:14.519 --> 00:01:19.239 are more difficult, opportunities are fewer, and yes, circumstances can 20 00:01:19.280 --> 00:01:23.680 be challenging. But I have seen over and over again 21 00:01:24.200 --> 00:01:29.640 people in the very same situation having completely different experiences, 22 00:01:30.359 --> 00:01:35.359 one feeling hopeless and trapped, another feeling creative and alive. 23 00:01:36.319 --> 00:01:40.680 What's the difference. It's not that one person has more worth. 24 00:01:41.359 --> 00:01:44.280 It's that one person has made friends with their inner 25 00:01:44.319 --> 00:01:47.239 world and the other is still at war with it. 26 00:01:47.920 --> 00:01:51.400 I often say you are not stuck because your life 27 00:01:51.519 --> 00:01:56.079 is uniquely cursed. You are stuck because four powerful forces 28 00:01:56.120 --> 00:01:59.159 inside you are pulling you backward when your heart wants 29 00:01:59.200 --> 00:02:01.920 to go forward to day. We're going to name those 30 00:02:01.959 --> 00:02:04.480 forces with a lot of love, and then we're going 31 00:02:04.519 --> 00:02:08.360 to begin to loosen their grip. As we do repeat 32 00:02:08.439 --> 00:02:12.479 softly inside. I am willing to change. I am safe 33 00:02:12.520 --> 00:02:17.360 to move forward. The power is within me now. Willingness 34 00:02:17.439 --> 00:02:20.639 is the key that opens every locked door. I like 35 00:02:20.719 --> 00:02:24.639 to use this image inside your mind. There can either 36 00:02:24.719 --> 00:02:29.039 be a small, dark prison or a beautiful palace. The 37 00:02:29.120 --> 00:02:33.319 prison is built from old fear, old pain, old stories 38 00:02:33.360 --> 00:02:36.759 about who you are allowed to be. The palace is 39 00:02:36.840 --> 00:02:41.439 built from self respect, forgiveness, courage, and love. The walls 40 00:02:41.479 --> 00:02:45.960 outside your job, your family, your past may remain the 41 00:02:46.000 --> 00:02:48.919 same for a while, but the place you stand in 42 00:02:49.319 --> 00:02:54.280 inside yourself makes all the difference. When you stand in 43 00:02:54.319 --> 00:02:59.840 the prison of criticism, resentment, fear, and guilt. Everything feels 44 00:03:00.039 --> 00:03:04.000 heavy and every step is hard. When you begin to 45 00:03:04.039 --> 00:03:07.759 move into the palace of possibility, the very same day 46 00:03:07.879 --> 00:03:12.520 can feel lighter, more open, more hopeful. So our work 47 00:03:12.560 --> 00:03:15.039 is not to blame you for the prison, but to 48 00:03:15.120 --> 00:03:19.159 gently remove the bricks one by one until you realize 49 00:03:19.199 --> 00:03:22.800 the door was never truly locked. And as we do that, 50 00:03:23.719 --> 00:03:27.639 I want you to keep reminding yourself. I am willing 51 00:03:27.719 --> 00:03:32.199 to change, I am safe to move forward. The power 52 00:03:32.319 --> 00:03:36.000 is within me. Now you don't have to do it perfectly. 53 00:03:36.719 --> 00:03:40.840 You only have to be willing. The first enemy, as 54 00:03:40.879 --> 00:03:43.759 people like to call it, though I prefer to call 55 00:03:43.800 --> 00:03:48.639 it a frightened habit is criticism, not the kind of 56 00:03:48.680 --> 00:03:53.080 constructive feedback that helps you grow, but the harsh, cruel 57 00:03:53.159 --> 00:03:57.280 voice that says you'll never get it right, you always 58 00:03:57.319 --> 00:04:01.759 mess things up, what's wrong with you? That voice is 59 00:04:01.800 --> 00:04:06.039 a form of subtle violence towards yourself. Every time you 60 00:04:06.080 --> 00:04:10.879 speak to yourself that way, your body contracts, your shoulders tighten, 61 00:04:11.199 --> 00:04:16.079 your chest closes, your breath becomes shallow. Is it any 62 00:04:16.120 --> 00:04:19.800 surprise that you don't want to take risks, try new things, 63 00:04:20.199 --> 00:04:22.800 or move forward? When the person in your own head 64 00:04:22.839 --> 00:04:27.040 is waiting to punish you for every step. You may 65 00:04:27.040 --> 00:04:31.120 think you are motivating yourself with criticism, but in truth, 66 00:04:31.639 --> 00:04:35.560 you are shrinking your world. The way out is not 67 00:04:35.680 --> 00:04:40.560 to argue with that voice, but to change its tone 68 00:04:40.879 --> 00:04:44.040 when you make a mistake, instead of you're so stupid, 69 00:04:44.399 --> 00:04:48.600 try I'm learning. I didn't know better then, but I'm 70 00:04:48.639 --> 00:04:53.639 willing to do better now. At first, it will feel strange, 71 00:04:54.120 --> 00:04:58.199 almost fake, because you are used to being unkind to yourself. 72 00:04:59.279 --> 00:05:02.639 Keep going, Put your hand on your heart and say, 73 00:05:03.439 --> 00:05:06.519 I love and approve of myself exactly as I am. 74 00:05:07.399 --> 00:05:11.439 You are not excusing every behavior. You are creating a 75 00:05:11.480 --> 00:05:16.079 safe place inside where growth becomes possible. A flower does 76 00:05:16.120 --> 00:05:20.160 not bloom under a hammer, It blooms under sunlight and water. 77 00:05:20.720 --> 00:05:25.120 Let your words become that sunlight. The second force that 78 00:05:25.199 --> 00:05:29.199 holds you back is resentment. All those old hurts you 79 00:05:29.399 --> 00:05:34.000 carry like heavy stones in your pockets. Someone betrayed you, 80 00:05:34.199 --> 00:05:39.120 someone left, someone didn't see your worth, someone took advantage 81 00:05:39.120 --> 00:05:42.800 of your kindness. And every time you replay the story 82 00:05:42.839 --> 00:05:46.480 in your mind, the same chemicals flood your body, the 83 00:05:46.519 --> 00:05:51.839 same anger rises, the same sadness returns. Resentment is like 84 00:05:51.959 --> 00:05:57.399 drinking poison and hoping the other person will collapse. The 85 00:05:57.480 --> 00:05:59.920 truth is, most of the time they have moved on, 86 00:06:01.360 --> 00:06:04.079 you are the one still chained to the old scene. 87 00:06:05.560 --> 00:06:09.399 When you are full of resentment, it becomes very difficult 88 00:06:09.399 --> 00:06:13.160 to move forward because part of you is facing backwards, 89 00:06:13.600 --> 00:06:16.879 staring at the door that closed. I will never ask 90 00:06:16.959 --> 00:06:20.399 you to pretend that what happened was Okay, it may 91 00:06:20.399 --> 00:06:24.160 not have been, but I will gently invite you to 92 00:06:24.279 --> 00:06:29.839 ask yourself, do I want to live here forever? Forgiveness, 93 00:06:29.879 --> 00:06:33.839 my dear, is not about declaring them innocent. It is 94 00:06:33.920 --> 00:06:39.040 about declaring yourself free. When you are ready, even a little, 95 00:06:39.519 --> 00:06:44.000 you can begin to say, I release the past, I 96 00:06:44.079 --> 00:06:47.439 set myself free. You don't have to feel it fully 97 00:06:47.480 --> 00:06:51.199 at first. Just let the words start to move cobwebs 98 00:06:51.240 --> 00:06:55.920 in your heart. Each time you choose release instead of replay, 99 00:06:56.480 --> 00:07:00.000 you lighten your load and create space for new experiences 100 00:07:00.160 --> 00:07:04.959 to come in. The third silent captor is fear. Fear 101 00:07:05.000 --> 00:07:09.519 of failure, fear of success, fear of being seen, fear 102 00:07:09.560 --> 00:07:14.319 of being abandoned, fear of making the wrong choice. Fear 103 00:07:14.399 --> 00:07:17.519 loves to dress up as logic. It will give you 104 00:07:17.600 --> 00:07:20.839 a thousand reasons why now is not the right time, 105 00:07:21.120 --> 00:07:23.879 why you are not ready, why it's safer to stay 106 00:07:23.920 --> 00:07:27.680 exactly where you are. But if you listen closely, you 107 00:07:27.720 --> 00:07:31.959 will hear that fear has one main strategy. It drags 108 00:07:32.000 --> 00:07:34.879 you out of the present moment and throws you into 109 00:07:34.920 --> 00:07:39.920 a world of frightening imagination. Suddenly you are living in 110 00:07:39.959 --> 00:07:44.040 a future disaster that hasn't happened, or reliving an old 111 00:07:44.120 --> 00:07:47.360 wound as if it were happening again. No wonder you 112 00:07:47.480 --> 00:07:51.800 feel paralyzed. The antidote is not to bully yourself into 113 00:07:51.839 --> 00:07:56.720 being fearless. The antidote is to gently bring yourself back 114 00:07:56.759 --> 00:08:01.879 to now. When you feel your heart race, your thoughts spiraling, 115 00:08:02.319 --> 00:08:05.959 I want you to pause and take one slow, conscious breath. 116 00:08:06.839 --> 00:08:10.120 Feel the air enter your nose, your chest, your belly, 117 00:08:10.879 --> 00:08:15.399 feel it leave slowly, and say to yourself, I am 118 00:08:15.480 --> 00:08:20.399 safe in this moment. All is well, Not all of 119 00:08:20.439 --> 00:08:24.399 life is perfect, not I will never hurt again, Just 120 00:08:24.920 --> 00:08:28.800 in this breath, I am safe. Each time you do this, 121 00:08:29.519 --> 00:08:31.959 you are teaching your nervous system that it does not 122 00:08:32.279 --> 00:08:35.919 have to stay in constant alarm. And the more often 123 00:08:35.960 --> 00:08:39.320 you stand in the present, the easier it becomes. To 124 00:08:39.360 --> 00:08:43.320 take a small step forward. The fourth weight that keeps 125 00:08:43.360 --> 00:08:48.720 you from moving is guilt. Guilt whispers you don't deserve 126 00:08:48.799 --> 00:08:52.679 good things after what you did, after what you failed 127 00:08:52.720 --> 00:08:58.159 to do, after the mistakes you made. Some people carry 128 00:08:58.200 --> 00:09:01.440 guilt not only for their own choice, but for things 129 00:09:01.440 --> 00:09:06.000 that were never really under their control. Their parents' feelings, 130 00:09:06.320 --> 00:09:10.840 a partner's pain, decisions they had to make with limited knowledge. 131 00:09:11.360 --> 00:09:14.759 Guilt is very sneaky because it can look like morality. 132 00:09:15.799 --> 00:09:18.639 I feel bad, so I must be a good person. 133 00:09:19.879 --> 00:09:23.840 But what guilt often does is block your blessings. When 134 00:09:23.879 --> 00:09:28.279 you are deeply identified with guilt, you unconsciously punish yourself. 135 00:09:28.720 --> 00:09:33.639 You sabotage opportunities, You reject love, You turn down help, 136 00:09:34.120 --> 00:09:38.879 You forget to apply, finish, or show up. This is 137 00:09:38.919 --> 00:09:42.480 not because you truly don't want better. It is because 138 00:09:42.519 --> 00:09:44.960 a part of you has decided you are not allowed 139 00:09:45.000 --> 00:09:48.840 to have better. The way to loosen guilt is to 140 00:09:48.919 --> 00:09:52.399 remember that you can't become a better person by endlessly 141 00:09:52.440 --> 00:09:56.759 beating yourself up. You grow by learning, by making amends 142 00:09:56.840 --> 00:10:01.879 when appropriate, By choosing differently today, you are allowed to 143 00:10:01.919 --> 00:10:06.200 begin again. Put your hand gently on your body. Maybe 144 00:10:06.240 --> 00:10:10.960 your chest may be your stomach and say I forgive myself. 145 00:10:11.720 --> 00:10:15.480 I deserve good. You might cry when you say it, 146 00:10:16.320 --> 00:10:20.440 That is all right. Tears are old guilt leaving. You 147 00:10:20.519 --> 00:10:23.559 are not your past actions. You are the person who 148 00:10:23.679 --> 00:10:28.039 is choosing right now to be more conscious and more loving. 149 00:10:29.200 --> 00:10:33.240 So here you are, my dear, standing between two inner worlds, 150 00:10:34.000 --> 00:10:39.159 the old prison of criticism, resentment, fear and guilt, and 151 00:10:39.240 --> 00:10:44.840 the new palace of self acceptance, release, presence, and forgiveness. 152 00:10:45.159 --> 00:10:47.240 It is not a jump you make in one day. 153 00:10:48.120 --> 00:10:52.080 It is a series of tiny steps, and every step 154 00:10:52.120 --> 00:10:56.000 begins with a simple willingness. I am willing to change. 155 00:10:56.399 --> 00:11:00.440 I am safe to move forward. The power is within me. Now. 156 00:11:01.399 --> 00:11:03.919 Let that be your new way of speaking to yourself. 157 00:11:04.320 --> 00:11:07.799 When you start to replay the past or freeze before 158 00:11:07.840 --> 00:11:12.440 the future, you are telling your subconscious we are not 159 00:11:12.559 --> 00:11:17.000 trapped anymore. We are learning a new way. Now. I 160 00:11:17.039 --> 00:11:20.080 want to remind you of something that can completely shift 161 00:11:20.120 --> 00:11:24.360 how you see yourself. Inside you, there is a treasure house, Riza. 162 00:11:24.960 --> 00:11:27.159 It does not matter how many years you have spent 163 00:11:27.240 --> 00:11:31.399 criticizing yourself, how long you've been angry, how often you 164 00:11:31.519 --> 00:11:36.159 felt afraid, or how much guilt you carry beneath all 165 00:11:36.200 --> 00:11:39.799 of that. There is a radiant, alive, wise part of 166 00:11:39.840 --> 00:11:43.679 you that has never been damaged. There is love inside you. 167 00:11:44.519 --> 00:11:49.440 There is joy inside you. There is peace, creativity, and 168 00:11:49.559 --> 00:11:53.639 quiet strength inside you. These are not qualities you have 169 00:11:53.759 --> 00:11:58.279 to import from outside, like rare goods, they are already there, 170 00:11:58.720 --> 00:12:01.960 Like a spring of fresh water under the ground. You 171 00:12:02.000 --> 00:12:04.759 don't have to build the spring. You only have to 172 00:12:04.799 --> 00:12:08.519 dig away the rocks. This inner treasure is never more 173 00:12:08.559 --> 00:12:13.120 than one breath away. That may sound too simple, but 174 00:12:13.240 --> 00:12:17.840 simplicity is often where the deepest truths live. In the 175 00:12:18.039 --> 00:12:21.360 very moment you pause and put your attention on your heart, 176 00:12:21.960 --> 00:12:26.600 you have already moved closer to the treasure. The problem 177 00:12:26.679 --> 00:12:30.039 is not that you don't have love or wisdom. It 178 00:12:30.120 --> 00:12:32.600 is that you have been busy listening to the four 179 00:12:32.759 --> 00:12:37.840 noisy enemies. When you begin to turn your attention inward 180 00:12:37.919 --> 00:12:42.159 with kindness, those inner gifts wake up. You may suddenly 181 00:12:42.240 --> 00:12:46.240 feel a little more compassion for yourself. You may hear 182 00:12:46.320 --> 00:12:50.480 a small, clear idea about your next step. You may 183 00:12:50.519 --> 00:12:53.720 feel a tiny spark of hope where there was only 184 00:12:53.840 --> 00:12:58.840 numbness before. This is the treasure beginning to shine through. 185 00:13:00.240 --> 00:13:03.519 Let us do a little practice together right now, just 186 00:13:03.600 --> 00:13:07.399 sixty seconds to connect with this inner wealth. If you 187 00:13:07.519 --> 00:13:11.840 can gently close your eyes, place your hand over your 188 00:13:11.879 --> 00:13:16.240 heart or wherever feels comforting, take a slow breath in 189 00:13:17.320 --> 00:13:21.639 and a slow breath out, and silently repeat after me. 190 00:13:23.519 --> 00:13:28.600 Love is here, Peace is here, Wisdom is here. Don't 191 00:13:28.639 --> 00:13:31.960 try to force a big feeling. Just let the words settle, 192 00:13:32.600 --> 00:13:37.320 like snowflakes on warm skin. Another breath in and out. 193 00:13:38.919 --> 00:13:43.759 Love is here, Peace is here, Wisdom is here. You 194 00:13:43.799 --> 00:13:46.279 don't have to go anywhere to find them. You don't 195 00:13:46.279 --> 00:13:48.759 have to earn them. They are in you right now, 196 00:13:48.840 --> 00:13:52.039 waiting to be noticed one more time with a little 197 00:13:52.039 --> 00:13:56.759 more tenderness. Love is here, Peace is here, Wisdom is here. 198 00:13:57.639 --> 00:14:01.080 And now add I am willing to chat. I am 199 00:14:01.200 --> 00:14:04.879 safe to move forward. The power is within me. Now 200 00:14:05.919 --> 00:14:11.039 Feel how those words open a small door inside my dear. 201 00:14:11.440 --> 00:14:14.519 The real reason you haven't moved forward is not that 202 00:14:14.639 --> 00:14:18.039 you are weak or cursed or behind. It is that 203 00:14:18.080 --> 00:14:21.200 you've been trying to walk with chains around your ankles 204 00:14:21.559 --> 00:14:25.759 and a heavy bag on your back. To day, we 205 00:14:25.840 --> 00:14:31.159 have begun to notice those chains criticism, resentment, fear, guilt, 206 00:14:31.799 --> 00:14:34.320 and we have also begun to remember the keys you 207 00:14:34.399 --> 00:14:40.759 carry inside love, peace, wisdom, willingness. You are already changing 208 00:14:41.240 --> 00:14:45.480 simply by listening with an open heart. You are already 209 00:14:45.480 --> 00:14:49.600 moving forward simply by being willing to see things differently. 210 00:14:50.279 --> 00:14:54.639 Be gentle with yourself as you practice when you forget, 211 00:14:55.559 --> 00:14:59.200 come back to your breath, come back to your heart, 212 00:15:00.559 --> 00:15:06.519 come back to your new affirmation. I am willing to change. 213 00:15:06.720 --> 00:15:15.000 I am safe to move forward. The power is within me. Now. 214 00:15:16.720 --> 00:15:20.080 Now that we've talked about the treasures inside you, my dear, 215 00:15:20.919 --> 00:15:23.600 I want to pull the curtain back a little and 216 00:15:23.759 --> 00:15:28.120 share something from my own journey. Not to dwell on pain, 217 00:15:28.639 --> 00:15:32.200 not to dramatize the past, but to show you something 218 00:15:32.399 --> 00:15:39.960 very important. People can change, lives can transform, Patterns can 219 00:15:40.000 --> 00:15:43.320 be released. I did not wake up one morning as 220 00:15:43.360 --> 00:15:47.000 Louise Hay with all the answers. I was once a 221 00:15:47.039 --> 00:15:50.879 frightened little girl, then a wounded young woman who carried 222 00:15:50.960 --> 00:15:55.480 years of abuse, shame, and deep resentment inside my body. 223 00:15:56.679 --> 00:15:58.879 For a long time, I did not know what to 224 00:15:58.919 --> 00:16:01.759 do with all that pain, so I turned it against 225 00:16:01.799 --> 00:16:07.080 myself and my life. My health, my relationships reflected that 226 00:16:07.200 --> 00:16:11.000 inner war. There came a time when my body began 227 00:16:11.080 --> 00:16:16.240 to speak very loudly through a serious diagnosis. I will 228 00:16:16.279 --> 00:16:19.320 not go into all the details here because this is 229 00:16:19.360 --> 00:16:23.080 not about the drama of my story. What matters is 230 00:16:23.120 --> 00:16:26.320 that I stood at a cross roads. I could see 231 00:16:26.399 --> 00:16:29.320 myself as a helpless victim of both the past and 232 00:16:29.399 --> 00:16:33.240 the illness, or I could ask a different question, what 233 00:16:33.440 --> 00:16:37.600 is my body trying to tell me? In my belief system, 234 00:16:37.960 --> 00:16:41.879 I saw that years of unexpressed anger, self hatred, and 235 00:16:41.960 --> 00:16:45.840 resentment had been sitting inside me like a heavy toxic cloud. 236 00:16:47.080 --> 00:16:49.960 I began to consider that my body might be showing 237 00:16:50.000 --> 00:16:54.720 me not just a problem, but also a doorway. So 238 00:16:54.919 --> 00:16:59.879 I chose gently and imperfectly to walk through that doorway. 239 00:17:01.080 --> 00:17:03.480 I want to be very clear with you, my dear, 240 00:17:04.519 --> 00:17:08.039 when I talk about the connection between emotions and the body, 241 00:17:08.440 --> 00:17:11.880 I am sharing from my personal experience and my own 242 00:17:12.000 --> 00:17:16.240 spiritual framework. This is not a substitute for medical care. 243 00:17:16.880 --> 00:17:21.720 You deserve proper medical attention, loving support, and all the 244 00:17:21.799 --> 00:17:26.519 resources this modern world can offer. If anything I say 245 00:17:26.599 --> 00:17:31.640 inspires you, let it work alongside your health care, not 246 00:17:31.839 --> 00:17:36.160 instead of it. You are worth a full, loving, holistic 247 00:17:36.200 --> 00:17:42.079 approach body, mind and spirit together. In my own journey, 248 00:17:42.400 --> 00:17:46.440 I notice that deep, long held resentment often sat in 249 00:17:46.480 --> 00:17:50.839 the background of serious conditions. For me, I saw a 250 00:17:50.920 --> 00:17:54.960 link between my old bitterness and my physical symptoms, as 251 00:17:55.000 --> 00:17:58.279 though the body was saying, we cannot carry this rage 252 00:17:58.359 --> 00:18:01.920 and hurt forever. I began to see illness as a 253 00:18:01.960 --> 00:18:04.920 wake up call, an invitation to look at what I 254 00:18:04.960 --> 00:18:09.319 had refused to heal emotionally, not punishment, not proof that 255 00:18:09.400 --> 00:18:14.480 I was bad, but a signal what the mind refuses 256 00:18:14.559 --> 00:18:19.839 to release the body often carries. When I started to 257 00:18:19.920 --> 00:18:25.640 release my resentment, to forgive, to soften, my body responded again. 258 00:18:26.000 --> 00:18:29.720 This was my experience, not a universal rule, but it 259 00:18:29.799 --> 00:18:33.160 gave me hope, and it gave me direction. One of 260 00:18:33.160 --> 00:18:35.440 the most powerful steps I took was to look at 261 00:18:35.480 --> 00:18:38.079 the people I hated the most and see them as 262 00:18:38.079 --> 00:18:43.240 they once were, small, frightened children. That does not excuse 263 00:18:43.279 --> 00:18:46.599 anything they did. It does not make their behavior right, 264 00:18:47.440 --> 00:18:50.200 but it helped me to understand that hurting people often 265 00:18:50.240 --> 00:18:53.319 come from her, that the violence they gave me was 266 00:18:53.359 --> 00:18:57.960 a continuation of violence they had received. They did the 267 00:18:58.039 --> 00:19:02.079 best they could with the awareness they had, and now 268 00:19:03.039 --> 00:19:07.119 I choose to do better. When I could see their brokenness, 269 00:19:07.400 --> 00:19:10.039 I no longer wanted to drink poison on their behalf. 270 00:19:11.200 --> 00:19:13.720 I wanted to put the cup down. I wanted to 271 00:19:13.759 --> 00:19:18.720 give myself a different future. Forgiveness for me was not 272 00:19:18.799 --> 00:19:23.559 a grand ceremony. It was a daily decision. Sometimes it 273 00:19:23.599 --> 00:19:27.519 sounded like I refuse to let your behavior define my 274 00:19:27.640 --> 00:19:32.480 life anymore. Sometimes it sounded like I release you in 275 00:19:32.519 --> 00:19:36.440 love and I set myself free. Sometimes it was nothing 276 00:19:36.480 --> 00:19:40.240 more than a tired little whisper I'm willing to forgive, 277 00:19:40.839 --> 00:19:44.160 even if I don't know how yet. But each time 278 00:19:44.240 --> 00:19:48.799 I chose even a little willingness, I felt the chains loosen, 279 00:19:48.799 --> 00:19:52.880 my energy began to return. My body felt less like 280 00:19:52.920 --> 00:19:57.440 a battlefield and more like a home. Alongside this inner work, 281 00:19:57.920 --> 00:20:01.799 I also began what I call a full spectrum detox, 282 00:20:02.400 --> 00:20:06.279 not a harsh, punishing regime, but a loving clearing on 283 00:20:06.359 --> 00:20:11.119 all levels. I nourished my body with better food, more water, 284 00:20:11.920 --> 00:20:16.519 gentle movement. I nourished my mind by watching my thoughts, 285 00:20:17.119 --> 00:20:21.920 gently interrupting the old loops of I'm worthless, I'm doomed, 286 00:20:22.559 --> 00:20:27.279 it's hopeless, and replacing them with new ones. I nourished 287 00:20:27.319 --> 00:20:31.079 my heart with affirmation spoken out loud in the mirror, 288 00:20:31.480 --> 00:20:34.920 with as much tenderness as I could manage. The core 289 00:20:35.000 --> 00:20:38.599 of it all was simple. I am willing to change 290 00:20:38.680 --> 00:20:42.759 my thinking. I am willing to speak to myself with love. 291 00:20:43.640 --> 00:20:48.119 Different choices in food helped my body, Different choices in 292 00:20:48.240 --> 00:20:52.039 thought helped my life. So when I say to you 293 00:20:52.160 --> 00:20:56.680 now I am willing to change, I am safe to 294 00:20:56.759 --> 00:21:01.559 move forward. The power is within me. Now. I am 295 00:21:01.599 --> 00:21:04.880 not giving you a pretty phrase. I am handing you 296 00:21:04.960 --> 00:21:08.759 the very key I once used. You are not powerless, 297 00:21:09.200 --> 00:21:13.359 you are not stuck forever. You too, can put down resentment, 298 00:21:13.839 --> 00:21:18.960 invite forgiveness, detox your mind, and speak gently to your body. 299 00:21:19.880 --> 00:21:22.400 And you can do it while still working with doctors, 300 00:21:22.839 --> 00:21:27.880 therapists and all forms of support. You deserve the whole 301 00:21:27.960 --> 00:21:32.519 spectrum of healing. Now, let's talk about something that worries 302 00:21:32.559 --> 00:21:38.640 many people, aging, especially for women. Our culture often treats 303 00:21:38.680 --> 00:21:42.359 aging like a sentence, as if after a certain age, 304 00:21:42.440 --> 00:21:48.400 you are automatically less beautiful, less valuable, less visible. I 305 00:21:48.519 --> 00:21:52.640 see aging differently. To me, Aging is not a curse. 306 00:21:53.240 --> 00:21:56.880 It is a story we tell ourselves. If your inner 307 00:21:56.920 --> 00:22:01.079 story says I am getting old and useless, your body 308 00:22:01.119 --> 00:22:04.920 and your energy will follow that script. If your inner 309 00:22:04.960 --> 00:22:09.920 story says I am growing wiser, deeper, more myself, your 310 00:22:09.960 --> 00:22:14.119 body and your energy can respond to that too. I 311 00:22:14.240 --> 00:22:17.359 have met people in their twenties who were already old 312 00:22:17.480 --> 00:22:22.400 in their bitterness, and people in their seventies who were bright, curious, 313 00:22:22.440 --> 00:22:25.799 and full of life. So I invite you to ask, 314 00:22:26.759 --> 00:22:30.559 what story am I telling myself about my age? Are 315 00:22:30.559 --> 00:22:33.839 you telling yourself that you are too late, too old, 316 00:22:34.359 --> 00:22:38.680 past your prime? Or can you begin to say, I 317 00:22:38.839 --> 00:22:44.119 bless my age, I bless my body. I am willing 318 00:22:44.160 --> 00:22:47.920 to feel vibrant at every stage of life. You may 319 00:22:47.960 --> 00:22:52.039 not believe it fully yet, but remember willingness is enough 320 00:22:52.079 --> 00:22:55.920 to begin. Your cells respond to the way you speak 321 00:22:55.960 --> 00:22:59.680 about them. Your life responds to the way you speak 322 00:22:59.680 --> 00:23:03.640 about your future. Let aging be a journey into deeper 323 00:23:03.680 --> 00:23:08.920 self respect, not a long apology for existing. For many women, 324 00:23:08.960 --> 00:23:11.799 the issue is not only aging, but how they are 325 00:23:11.839 --> 00:23:17.680 treated in relationships, at home, at work. I want to 326 00:23:17.720 --> 00:23:21.079 speak to your heart here. Your value does not come 327 00:23:21.119 --> 00:23:24.920 from another person's approval. Your worth is not issued by 328 00:23:24.960 --> 00:23:29.880 a partner, a parent, or a paycheck. When you forget this, 329 00:23:30.440 --> 00:23:35.759 you may accept unkindness, neglect, or abuse because you secretly 330 00:23:35.799 --> 00:23:40.000 believe that is all you deserve. You might tell yourself, 331 00:23:40.599 --> 00:23:45.240 if I were better, they would treat me better. But 332 00:23:45.319 --> 00:23:48.640 the truth is the other way around. When you treat 333 00:23:48.680 --> 00:23:52.359 yourself better, you begin to see who truly belongs in 334 00:23:52.400 --> 00:23:56.759 your life and who does not. Self respect, my dear, 335 00:23:57.400 --> 00:24:01.000 is not arrogance. It is simply knowing that you are 336 00:24:01.039 --> 00:24:05.480 a precious being and acting accordingly. I will not stay 337 00:24:05.559 --> 00:24:09.200 where I am not respected. I will not shrink to 338 00:24:09.240 --> 00:24:14.039 fit someone else's fear. When you speak to yourself this way, 339 00:24:14.720 --> 00:24:17.599 you raise the standard for how others may speak to you. 340 00:24:18.720 --> 00:24:24.039 And yes, sometimes that means relationships will change. Some people 341 00:24:24.079 --> 00:24:28.000 will rise to meet your new boundaries, others will fall away. 342 00:24:29.000 --> 00:24:32.839 This can be painful, but it is also profoundly healing. 343 00:24:33.880 --> 00:24:37.559 You are trading a life of quiet self betrayal for 344 00:24:37.640 --> 00:24:42.119 a life of honest self love. Boundaries in my work 345 00:24:42.480 --> 00:24:45.559 are one of the purest forms of self love. A 346 00:24:45.640 --> 00:24:48.839 boundary is not an attack. It is simply a line 347 00:24:48.880 --> 00:24:51.920 that says, here is where I end and you begin. 348 00:24:53.000 --> 00:24:57.240 When I respect myself, life learns to respect me. A 349 00:24:57.240 --> 00:25:01.200 soft boundary can sound like I hear you, and I 350 00:25:01.240 --> 00:25:04.680 won't allow myself to be spoken to that way, or 351 00:25:05.759 --> 00:25:09.160 I care about you and I also need rest tonight 352 00:25:10.119 --> 00:25:14.079 or no, that doesn't work for me. You don't have 353 00:25:14.160 --> 00:25:17.599 to scream. You don't have to explain your worth. You 354 00:25:17.720 --> 00:25:21.519 only have to honor it as you do. The universe 355 00:25:21.599 --> 00:25:26.599 often rearranges people in situations to match your new vibration. Now, 356 00:25:26.640 --> 00:25:29.440 I would like to leave you with some affirmations you 357 00:25:29.480 --> 00:25:35.680 can use in different areas of your life, health, relationships, creativity, 358 00:25:36.079 --> 00:25:40.759 and finances. Think of them as little seeds you can plant. 359 00:25:41.759 --> 00:25:46.200 Remember the way you use the matters. Don't bark them 360 00:25:46.200 --> 00:25:49.920 at yourself like orders. Speak them as you would to 361 00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:54.000 a beloved child. You are comforting. Look into your own 362 00:25:54.039 --> 00:25:57.440 eyes in the mirror. If you can, let your tone 363 00:25:57.480 --> 00:26:02.799 be gentle, your body soft, your breath slow. For health, 364 00:26:02.880 --> 00:26:05.920 you might stand in front of the mirror, place your 365 00:26:05.960 --> 00:26:10.759 hands somewhere on your body, and say, I am vibrant, 366 00:26:11.359 --> 00:26:15.240 radiant health. Even if you are working with illness. Right now, 367 00:26:15.759 --> 00:26:17.839 you are speaking to the part of you that knows 368 00:26:17.880 --> 00:26:22.039 how to move toward balance. If your mind protests, you 369 00:26:22.079 --> 00:26:25.960 can soften it with I am willing to move toward vibrant, 370 00:26:26.400 --> 00:26:35.200 radiant health. Willingness opens the door for relationships, particularly when 371 00:26:35.200 --> 00:26:38.799 you feel lonely or unloved. You can place your hand 372 00:26:38.839 --> 00:26:42.480 on your heart and say I am love and I 373 00:26:42.519 --> 00:26:47.599 am loved. Then add I release loneliness by coming home 374 00:26:47.640 --> 00:26:50.759 to myself. Feel what it is like to be on 375 00:26:50.839 --> 00:26:55.400 your own side, to enjoy your own company, to treat 376 00:26:55.440 --> 00:26:59.680 yourself with the kindness you long for from others. When 377 00:26:59.720 --> 00:27:02.599 you may make yourself your own safe place, your outer 378 00:27:02.720 --> 00:27:07.839 relationships begin to shift to match this inner climate. People 379 00:27:07.880 --> 00:27:10.599 who cannot meet you at this level of respect may 380 00:27:10.680 --> 00:27:16.559 drift away. Those who can will be drawn closer. For creativity, 381 00:27:17.039 --> 00:27:21.079 when you feel blocked or small, try this. Sit down 382 00:27:21.200 --> 00:27:24.240 with a piece of paper or in your creative space 383 00:27:24.440 --> 00:27:28.240 and say I allow the creative energy of the universe 384 00:27:28.279 --> 00:27:31.799 to flow through me. You don't have to force genius, 385 00:27:32.160 --> 00:27:36.079 you don't have to strain. You are simply opening a channel. 386 00:27:37.160 --> 00:27:41.319 Creativity is not about being special. It is about letting 387 00:27:41.400 --> 00:27:49.039 life express through you in whatever way feels true. Cooking, painting, writing, gardening, parenting, 388 00:27:49.400 --> 00:27:53.720 problem solving. Let your mind stop judging and let your 389 00:27:53.759 --> 00:27:58.079 heart play. For finances, when fear about money starts to 390 00:27:58.119 --> 00:28:03.200 grip you, instead of repeating there's never enough, I'm always behind, 391 00:28:03.839 --> 00:28:07.079 it will never work, you can gently introduce a new 392 00:28:07.119 --> 00:28:14.200 pattern my income is constantly increasing, I accept all possibilities. Again, 393 00:28:14.720 --> 00:28:18.799 if your mind shouts that's not true, you don't have 394 00:28:18.920 --> 00:28:22.680 to argue. You can say, I am willing to believe 395 00:28:22.720 --> 00:28:26.400 that my income can constantly increase. I am willing to 396 00:28:26.519 --> 00:28:32.640 accept new possibilities. You are not denying your current reality. 397 00:28:32.680 --> 00:28:37.079 You are expanding what is possible in your future. The 398 00:28:37.160 --> 00:28:40.319 most important part of using affirmations in the way I 399 00:28:40.480 --> 00:28:44.920 teach is how you bring them into your body. Say 400 00:28:44.920 --> 00:28:48.519 them out loud when you can say them in the mirror, 401 00:28:49.359 --> 00:28:53.559