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Speaker 1: All right, y'all, Hey hald Ah, come on, this is

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not abuse no more. With your host, doctor Evangelis kre Rich,

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help you to admit when you feel and ncy heel

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from the effects of narcissistic abuse because your feelings do matter.

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How you are doing today, this is not abuse no more.

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Speaker 2: I am your host, doctor k l Rich with knock

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abuse no more, helping you to admit what you feel

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in order to heal from the effects of narcissistic abuse, because.

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Speaker 3: Your feelings do matter, Yes they do.

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Speaker 2: Today is March the eleventh, Wednesday, March the eleventh of

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twenty twenty six. I pray that you have had a blessed,

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stress free, narcissistic.

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Speaker 3: Free, abuse free weeks.

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Speaker 2: So far, and that the remainder of this week will

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continue to be so as well. But if not, we're

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going to be talking about a few things today.

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Speaker 3: Now you may wonder what are we talking about today.

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Speaker 2: We are talking about verbal abuse. Verbal abuse, and many

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people often look at abuse as just having a black eye,

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a broken bone, something that you can obviously see. But

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the thing is, abuse comes in various forms and many

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people use their tongue to abuse, and verbal abuse can

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be just as deadly, just as harmful as any other

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type of abuse. And we often know when you're dealing

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with narcissism, you deal with a lot of those that

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are narcissists. They love to destroy you with their tongue.

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So we're gonna be talking about that today and I

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pray that this will be a blessing to you all.

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I want to just read a verse to a verse

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before we get started with today's podcast, because the Word

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of God has a lot to say about when it

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comes to various issues of abuse. And in James chapter three,

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it talks about taming the tongue, Taming the tongue, and

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I just want to just read a couple of verses

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so that you can know that the tongue is important

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for us to make sure that.

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Speaker 3: We tame it.

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Speaker 2: And in James, the Book of James, chapter three, and

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I just want to start at verse three, it says

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when we put bits into the mouths of horses to

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make them obey us, we could turn the whole animal.

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Or take ships as an example. Although they are very

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large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered

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by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise,

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the tongue is a small part of the body, but

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it makes great boasts. Consider what a great force that

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a great force is set on fire by just a

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small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world

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of evil among the.

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Speaker 3: Parts of the body.

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Speaker 2: It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of

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one's life on fire, and itself set on fire by hell.

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And we're gonna stop right there. Well, let me just

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go to this very next one. It says all animals, birds, reptiles,

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and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed

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by mankind, But no human being contain the tongue. It

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is a restless evil, full of poison. And so when

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we used to have this saying when we were kids

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that sticks and stones may break my bones, but words

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will never harm me.

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Speaker 3: Well guess what it does. Words do harm. And so

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today we we're gonna be talking.

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Speaker 2: About verbal abuse, how to recognize verbal abuse. Today's topic

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is coming from very well mind, and I pray that

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you can take some some things that will help you

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if you're in a similar situation, uh where you're being

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verbally abused, or if you are a person and you

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recognize you know what, These are some of the traits

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that are inside.

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Speaker 3: Of me that I need to change. Verbal abuse one.

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Speaker 2: One thing about verbal abuse, it's it's a form of

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emotional abuse. But the thing is words are used. Words

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are used to degrade the value, to manipulate, to ridicule,

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and to dominate.

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Speaker 4: Uh.

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Speaker 2: We always talk about that at the end of abuse.

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It's somewhat one that wants to obtain or maintain power

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over someone else. Verbal abuse it includes yelling, It includes

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name calling.

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Speaker 5: Uh.

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Speaker 2: It also is under the realm of guilt tripping, using sarcasm,

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using jokes, even to to make someone else feel bad.

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Constant criticism. There is a difference between constructive criticism and

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destructive criticism. Construct the criticism is used to build someone up.

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Destructive criticism is to put someone down. And so it

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is important that people understand the difference between, uh, what's

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uplifting and what is not. So I wanna give you

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some signs that you can use, or some signs to

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detect if you are experiencing verbal abuse. Number one, you

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are afraid of your abuser.

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Speaker 3: You are afraid of your abuser.

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Speaker 2: Abusers often use their tongues to instill fear way before

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they ever lay a hand on you. So you you,

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even if you have never been physically harmed by this person,

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you're emotionally harmed by this person with just the fear

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of the things that they say. Number two, you feel

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like you have to walk on egg shells around this person.

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Speaker 6: You.

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Speaker 2: You know, when you're in a relationship, you should be

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able to be your true self.

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Speaker 3: But when you are in an abusive.

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Speaker 2: Relationship, you're always walking on egg shells, having to watch

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every little movie you.

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Speaker 3: Make, every little thing you say, uh, the people.

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Speaker 2: You're around, and it's uh uh it's a fear there.

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Speaker 3: It's uh uh.

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Speaker 2: Well, I gotta make sure that I don't make this

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a person upset with me.

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Speaker 3: I don't want this person to be mad at me.

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Speaker 2: So you walk around on egg shells cause you having

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to watch every little move that you make. Uh. This

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makes me think of the movie back in the day

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with Julia Robberts.

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Speaker 4: Uh.

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Speaker 3: It was called uh, what's the name of the movie?

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Speaker 2: Oh, I just slipped my mind, but many of you

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probably know what I'm talking about.

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Speaker 3: It was au uh, a movie that she came out with.

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I believe it was.

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Speaker 2: In the nineties and she was married to this. It's

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called sleeping with the enemy. That's right, sleeping with the enemy.

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And she was married to this abuser, and she found

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herself walking on egg shells every time she was around him.

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She had to make sure the house was just clean,

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just right. The cans were had to be stacked just right,

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the washed house had to be hanging just right. Everything

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she did had to be just right, or else she

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would suffer the wrath of her abusive husband.

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Speaker 3: That's a good.

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Speaker 2: Movie to watch if you are dealing with abuse. Sleeping

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with the enemy, and that's what Julia roberts.

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Speaker 3: Number three.

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Speaker 2: You feel like you cannot share things about yourself with

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them for fear that they will mock or ridicule you.

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If you're in a relationship with someone and you're not

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able to share things, you're not able to be yourself

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or whatever you share they would use against you, then

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you might need to rethink that relationship. I often use

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this for those you who have been following this pa

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this podcast for years that uh, you have the right

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to remain silent, your Miranda rights. Anything you say can

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and will be used against you in the court of

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the narcissists. That means that you don't tell narcissists anything

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that they.

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Speaker 3: Can use against you.

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Speaker 2: And even when you think you're just being open and

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sharing about yourself, they will put it in a vault

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to take it back out.

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Speaker 3: To use against you later. Watch what you say to

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the narcissists.

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Speaker 2: Number four, you're afraid to go out in public with

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them because of what they will say about you in

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front of other people. Narcissists at the at the root

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of who they are, the core of who they are.

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They're very insecure people, but they try to make you

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you insecure. So they will make jokes about maybe your

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weight or or make jokes about uh, something that they

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know is sensitive to you, and they would do it.

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Speaker 3: In front of other people.

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Speaker 2: And then if you call them out on it, then

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they will deflect and put it on you being too

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sensitive or that you are you're taking it the wrong way,

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when in actuality, they were doing that to make you

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feel and look bad. Number five, you feel threatened.

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Speaker 3: L Let me just say this, excuse me.

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Speaker 2: If a narcissist threatens you, and and and this is anybody,

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a lot of people have wind up being harmed or

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killed because they didn't take a threat seriously. If someone

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can threaten to do violence against you, they can follow

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through with it. So if you feel threatened by this person.

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Speaker 3: UH.

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Speaker 2: A couple of years ago, there was someone I knew

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that had put a gun to his wife's head and

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he threatened, you know, to use it, and I would

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tell you know, anyone in that situation be careful because

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if they can threaten violence against you, they can follow

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through with it.

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Speaker 3: Do not take threats lightly.

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Speaker 2: If you're ever in a position where they threaten to

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do harm to you and on themselves, then take it

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seriously and try to get in a safe place as

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possible as soon as you can. Next is you feel

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as if you are constantly being put down about how

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you look, think, act, dress, or talk one thing about

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secure people. When you feel secure about yourself, you don't

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have to put others down. You don't have to put

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someone else down in order to make yourself feel good

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when you are.

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Speaker 3: Confident in who you are.

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Speaker 2: So when you have someone that is being emotionally abusive

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verbally abusive, they really don't feel good about themselves, so

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they gonna criticize every single thing that you do to.

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Speaker 3: Try to make you feel as if you have to.

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Speaker 2: Meet up to their standards when in actuality, they don't

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even have standards for themselves. Next is you feel inferior

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or ashamed about who you are. No one that you're

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in a relationship with should make you feel ashamed or

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that you're not good enough that you don't meet their standards.

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Speaker 3: They should.

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Speaker 2: You should uplift one another in a relationship. And this

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is rather you're in a intimate relationship, uh, married, if

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you're dating someone, uh, even if you're a friend with someone.

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If you're friends, n they should never make you feel

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ashamed of who you are just so they can get

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a rise out of it.

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Speaker 3: One more, they were gonna take a quick break.

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Speaker 2: They yell at you, but then suggest that you are

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overly sensitive and that you don't have a sense of humor.

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There is nothing funny about being yelled at, screamed at,

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called names, belittle, or devalued. If that was the case,

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then they would enjoy it themselves for someone else doing

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it to them.

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Speaker 3: However, these type.

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Speaker 2: Of individuals, they get uh their rocks off of of

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causing others, causing others harm, causing others to feel bad

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about themselves, and that is not a healthy relationship.

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Speaker 3: We're going to take a quick break and we'll be

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back in just a moment.

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Speaker 4: Before I knew your name, God roading next to mine, promising,

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heavenly waving forest perfect time. I prayed through all the

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lonely nights, trusted what I couldn't see.

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Speaker 5: Somewhere in the heart of God, he was saving you

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for me. Every tear I cried, was planning to see

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this for something true. Every ninety from God wasn't leading

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me straight to you because Heaven reason before You were

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the person.

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Speaker 7: Around did grave, so didn't know why walk into God

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to save.

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Speaker 5: Soone was ready to me, Maybe I'm saving you, really

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know Heaven preserved to.

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Speaker 8: You God feels like redemption, like the story you only

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God could ride wood. He built from broken things, turned something.

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Speaker 5: Holy over nice jallous see speak of price on every chapter.

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Everything he kept you hid.

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Speaker 9: In his hands until he was time A loved and

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take the stage and.

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Speaker 10: Very calls do tell me I'm willing.

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Speaker 7: So when you ken, I recognize disgrace because Heaven.

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Speaker 5: Reason you don't be fun. You were the.

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Speaker 9: Besting around in gray, so I didn't know walk into God.

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Speaker 11: Held your heart say till Mama's read baby outstanding, and

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he read it all ho.

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Speaker 5: Than Heaven reserved.

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Speaker 7: You're the answer to a prayer hows three years ago,

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proof that God restores he is.

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Speaker 9: He always knows.

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Speaker 7: Now everything with you is worship. Every moment feels preying you, because.

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Speaker 5: Loving you reminds me God still comes through. Heaven reserved.

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And now I see clear her love is living ever dance,

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God is always near.

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Speaker 7: You're the mere record and waited until my heart find.

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Speaker 9: God.

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Speaker 5: Every heaven.

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Speaker 6: Preserved, preserved, And that's Heaven reserves you.

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Speaker 2: And you can find these Christian love songs on YouTube.

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Speaker 3: Heaven reserved you, all right.

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Speaker 2: So we're talking about signs of verbal abuse, signs of

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emotional abuse. This next one is is that they overreact

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to small problems and then blame you for the resulting argument.

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So one thing that narcissists love to do is they

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never take responsible for their own actions. So they would

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start something, start the argument, and then blame you for

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the argument even getting started. And you know the thing

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is is that these uh emotional games can have uh

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uh definitely a negative effect on your psyche.

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Speaker 3: And so in order to understand.

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Speaker 2: How they operate and know you know what what you're

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dealing with, then you it's so important to study them

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because then you'll know how not to play the game.

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Another thing is they suggest that they are the victim

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and they try to make you feel guilty about something

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they accuse you of doing. They love to make accusations,

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false accusations, and then they'll flip it and.

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Speaker 3: Make you feel as if you actually did what they said. That, uh,

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what they accused you of doing.

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Speaker 2: Okay, these are some horrific mind games that they play

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with their victims. And and the thing is is that

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when they accuse you of doing something that you didn't do,

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it is s very much sin.

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Speaker 3: It is senseless to try to even.

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Speaker 2: Argue with them or defend yourself because they already know

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that you didn't do it, but they're gonna continue coming

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at you as if you did. They hide their verbal

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abuse when you are around other people, but act completely

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different when you are alone. One thing when you're dealing

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with narcissists is that they they do not show their

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real selves. They're like chameleons. They blend in with the

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environment around them. They're like at a being at a

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masquerade ball. They have the mask on it, so people

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don't really see who they are. The only ones who

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see who they are, Oh, people that maybe closest to them,

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or the ones that's the recipient of their abuse.

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Speaker 3: So if you were.

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Speaker 2: To tell someone, oh, this person is narcissistic, this person's

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a narcissist, more than likely, unless they've seen those traits themselves,

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they will not believe you, because the narcissists do whatever

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they can to keep their real cells from being exposed.

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As I've often mentioned before on this podcast over the years,

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is the movie series V They did the original in

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the eighties and then they did a remake in two

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thousand where you had these these alien creatures come down

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to Earth. They looked like humans, they talk like humans,

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they dress like humans, but underneath the skin, they were

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reptilian creatures.

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Speaker 3: Okay, and this is how narcissists are.

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Speaker 2: They look and act like nothing is wrong with them,

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but behind the scenes, they're a whole different species.

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Speaker 3: So form.

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Speaker 2: You know, there are different forms that verbal abuse can take.

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And one of the things that we talk about on

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this particular podcast is gaslighting, and and that that's when

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someone makes you doubt your reality. So all the all

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the the the emotional abuse, all the judgments, all the

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things that they do to you. They gaslight you to

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make you think that it's not true, to make you

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think that it's you, so they make you doubt the

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reality of the situation. For example, in the movie gas

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Light from the nineteen forties. I think they did a

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couple of them in the nineteen forties. But in the

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movie Gaslight, this husband would trying to make his wife

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that he married her for her money. But he was

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trying to make his wife think that she was going crazy,

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so sh he would he would flicker the Actually he

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was trying to look for the hidden treasure.

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Speaker 3: And he would flicker the lights. That's why I got

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the name gas light.

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Speaker 2: And he would be in the basement doing whatever and

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and the gas light would be flickering. But he would

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do things to try to make her think she was crazy,

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such as moving her keys from where she knew she

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put it, moving around pictures on the wall to make,

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you know, make her think she had she was losing

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her mind, so that he could get her committed and

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then he could take over her wealth. Well, that's how

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narcissists do with their intended victims. They will try to

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gaslight you to make you doubt your reality. They could

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be undone something, but they would flip the script or

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make you think, oh, no, I didn't do what you said,

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or you know that I did, and make you think

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that you're losing touch with with reality.

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Speaker 3: Another thing, when you're.

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Speaker 2: Dealing with verb abuse, you would deal with blaming. They

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would make you believe that you are responsible for their

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abusive behavior. How many times how you may be seen

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the movie or you might have seen this in real

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life where an abuser will beat somebody to a pope

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and then say, oh, well you made me. No one

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make you do anything. No one can make you do anything.

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You're either responsible for your own actions or you're just

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not taking accountability because you just don't want to. So

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they are never responsible for their abusive behavior.

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Speaker 3: In their own minds.

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Speaker 2: So therefore they shift the blame and they blame the

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recipient of the abuse instead of instead of taking responsibility for.

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Speaker 3: What they have done.

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Speaker 2: Another thing you may deal with is kundi sension. While

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often disguised as humor, they'll use sarcastic comments to belittle

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and to the mean the person who's the target of

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their abuse, and once again they will make you think that, hey,

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you're oversensitive. When they're actually trying to do things to

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pull you down.

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Speaker 3: Another thing when.

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Speaker 2: You're dealing with the verbal abuse. Another form that it

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can take is in criticism. This means that they will

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give you harsh remarks, they will be they will try

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to make you feel bad about yourselves, and they will

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make you think that it's constructive when it's a deliberate

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attempt to be hurtful. Constructive criticism, again, is when someone

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is trying to help you, but when you're dealing with

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an abuser, there's nothing constructive about their criticism.

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Speaker 3: It's destructive is to bring you down.

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Speaker 2: And they would do it in public or they would

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do it in private, but they would try to make

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you think that they're doing it for your own good,

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when it's actually to try to make you feel bad

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about yourself. Another form of verbal abuse is judging. They're

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always looking down on you. They're not accepting you for

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who you are. They're holding you to unrealistic expectations, things

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that they can't even meet themselves, but they're gonna hold

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you to it. We're gonna take another quick break and

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we'll be back.

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Speaker 3: In just a moment.

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Speaker 5: I met you, I was walking along praying one that

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God will leave me home. I carryed every down like

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a heavy stone. One grened love was meant for me.

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Then you can't solving like the sun rise, like surn.

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Speaker 12: The longest season and some morn and ride saw in

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mercy shining in your eyes, and my heart finally learned

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to breathe heavy step every tear that album through.

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Speaker 5: Now I see they were leading me to you. If

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they died, allow you let me sing Lord for the

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way Jesus feed the road, for the press you pray

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went out.

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Speaker 9: Can't speak for the strength you live, went out for

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the week of all the blesses. He's carrying me through.

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Speaker 5: The greatest world.

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Speaker 9: Saddenly, you hit on my hearty and everything I think God,

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00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:19,759
I think God. You hold my dreams like the fragile glass.

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Speaker 5: You believe in me.

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Speaker 10: When my courage lips fast, you remind me telling of

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00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:30,480
who I am and the promises written in his hands.

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00:29:31,279 --> 00:29:34,880
Speaker 9: When the storm wins fries and the nice girl along.

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00:29:35,359 --> 00:29:40,480
Speaker 5: You're the stead orhythm in my trainbling song. It serned

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00:29:40,519 --> 00:29:41,680
my words.

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00:29:41,279 --> 00:29:46,640
Speaker 9: Into a whispered grace till peace comes flooding in this place.

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00:29:46,839 --> 00:29:51,680
Speaker 5: Every joy, every trial we walked and draws me closer

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00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:57,640
deep bury into you. I thank God for you've ever seen.

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00:29:57,680 --> 00:30:05,920
Speaker 9: Mo she's speaking away, for the way you smile, mant

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how you make this house a place. I know that

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seasis carry me through the grass worm simply quell my

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heart and everything I do, I beg God.

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Speaker 5: I thank God for you. If I had a thousand

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times to live, I choose your hand and every one

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of them.

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Speaker 9: If tomorrow never comes and the sky turns to the great,

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still live my hands and say you my.

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Speaker 5: Mind bread very con standing. Every moment, every breath, be

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sp It's grace.

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Speaker 10: I don't desert, but he still game. So when you're down,

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if you're er, come and rest inside my love. You're

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the melody my heart holds true.

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Speaker 5: Baby on the gift, and.

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Speaker 9: I think God, for you have seen the for the

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way you say you life my dark and swear.

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Speaker 5: For the tin and listen.

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00:31:29,839 --> 00:31:33,799
Speaker 9: Thanks you for doing the little quiet asked that no

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one knew about the best.

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Speaker 5: He's carrying me through the crest. Swan is still.

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Speaker 9: You al forever till my life is through.

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Speaker 5: I think God. I think God for God love heavy

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press every day. You're my blessing mon.

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Speaker 3: And that is thank God for you.

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Speaker 2: Again you can find these beautiful, beautiful love songs on

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00:32:23,519 --> 00:32:29,000
YouTube Christian love Songs. All Right, So we've been discussing

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about verbal abuse and some of the forms that verbal

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abuse can take.

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Speaker 3: And another form that it takes on is humiliation.

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Speaker 2: Humiliation, and so this is a painful, particularly painful way

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that narcissists abusers can treat their victims by insulting them

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in public and causing them in front of peers, friends,

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or or people that they're around. Try to humiliate you,

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to make you feel bad in front of others. Another

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thing is judging, when you're looking down on someone, when

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you're not accepting them for who they are, when you're

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again holding them to unrealistic expectations, and this.

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Speaker 3: Is not something that you should You should not feel

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judged in a relationship.

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Speaker 2: Another form is manipulation, where they use words to manipulate

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and control you. This is a type of verbal abuse,

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a type of emotional abuse. They're guilt tripping you to

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do certain things. They guilt trip you even if you

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want to hang around your friends or family. Nothing is

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ever good enough when you're dealing with someone that is

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an abuser. Another another form of verbal abuse is name calling.

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If someone has to call you derogatory names, they insult you.

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This is something that is used to chip away at

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your sense of self worth, your sense of your self esteem,

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and so therefore, this is not something that anyone should

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have to deal with in a relationship when someone is

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calling you derogatory names outside of who you are. One

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00:34:37,559 --> 00:34:40,960
another type of abuse that falls up under the realm

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of verbal abuse and emotional abuse is ridicule. Ridicule a

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verbally abusive person. They will make you the butt of

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their jokes. They will select things for as jokes that

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they know will hurt you and anyone again, Yeah, if

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they have to constantly put you down or make fun

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of you, or do things that they know will hurt you,

468
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then they're no good for you. Why is it often

469
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:20,679
h hard to recognize verbal abuse? Uh uh Again, when

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we talk about yelling, putting people down, name calling, belittling,

471
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belittling them, it's not always something that's easy to spot

472
00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:35,760
because when you're dealing with especially covert narcissists, they know

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how to do it in such a way that it

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oftentimes flies over people's heads.

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Speaker 3: But this is something that no one should ever have

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to deal with. It's a form of bullying.

477
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Speaker 2: You're demeaning that person, You're intimidating them, you're frightening them.

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Speaker 3: Uh.

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Speaker 2: Ultimately, you're trying to control them. And therefore you should

480
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:06,480
never ever allow someone, if at all possible, to treat

481
00:36:06,639 --> 00:36:12,079
you in this manner. I often say, we teach people

482
00:36:12,599 --> 00:36:17,119
how to treat us by what we allow them to

483
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:22,519
do to us. People are oftentimes verbally abusive because they

484
00:36:22,599 --> 00:36:25,639
may have grown up in a family of abusers.

485
00:36:26,119 --> 00:36:29,280
Speaker 3: They they may be dealing with mental illness.

486
00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:34,000
Speaker 2: They may do it because of past experiences that they

487
00:36:34,079 --> 00:36:38,079
have had and may be part of just their makeup.

488
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:41,719
But the thing is is that people can change if

489
00:36:42,119 --> 00:36:47,840
they're willing to put in the work to change. If

490
00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:51,440
you're dealing with verbal abuse, you may also be dealing

491
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:55,199
with anxiety. You might have anxiety when you're around this person.

492
00:36:56,119 --> 00:36:59,719
It may change your mood. You might deal with the

493
00:37:00,519 --> 00:37:06,559
because these things actually hurt. These words actually hurt. When

494
00:37:06,639 --> 00:37:09,840
people put you down, it actually hurt. You might have

495
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:14,000
a decrease of self esteem. You may be dealing with

496
00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:19,960
feelings of guilt or shame or hopelessness. Some people may

497
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:26,920
be dealing with PTSD or substance abuse. Anytime someone puts

498
00:37:27,039 --> 00:37:31,800
you at an alternate state of what your reality should be,

499
00:37:32,559 --> 00:37:37,840
that it is unhealthy for you. So what to do

500
00:37:38,679 --> 00:37:43,840
If you are dealing with verbal abuse, One thing to

501
00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:44,880
do is call it out.

502
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:46,000
Speaker 3: Now.

503
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:48,400
Speaker 2: The thing is, when you're dealing with people of a

504
00:37:48,519 --> 00:37:52,159
narcissistic mindset or they hate to be called out on

505
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:55,159
what they're doing, But the thing is, you have to

506
00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:58,880
call it out because let them know that it is

507
00:37:59,159 --> 00:38:03,239
unacceptable and you will no longer take it, which leads

508
00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:07,679
us into our next one set boundaries. That means that

509
00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:11,519
you firmly tell that person that you're no longer going

510
00:38:11,639 --> 00:38:14,400
to take their abuse judge, You're not gonna take their judging,

511
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:16,360
You're not gonna take their name calling, you're not gonna

512
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:17,119
take their threats.

513
00:38:17,559 --> 00:38:20,440
Speaker 3: You're not gonna deal with it. And if they want

514
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:21,960
to scream and swear at you.

515
00:38:22,119 --> 00:38:24,320
Speaker 2: Or things of that nature, and you're not gonna take

516
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:28,400
that too, walk away, walk away from it. You can

517
00:38:28,519 --> 00:38:31,800
limit your exposure to them. If you're dealing with someone

518
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:36,920
that's abusive in any form, then if you're able to

519
00:38:37,039 --> 00:38:41,239
limit your exposure to them and surround yourself by people

520
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:45,079
that will value you, people that will love you, people

521
00:38:45,159 --> 00:38:49,639
that will support you, then that's the best way to

522
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:53,760
deal with it is to limit your exposure to them.

523
00:38:54,639 --> 00:38:57,920
Another thing is sometimes people have to go as far

524
00:38:58,119 --> 00:39:02,840
as going as far as ending the relationship all together,

525
00:39:03,679 --> 00:39:07,079
because sometimes people are not willing to change.

526
00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:14,000
Speaker 3: People they love being abusive. So therefore, if they're.

527
00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:16,800
Speaker 2: The type of person that is not willing to put

528
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:19,960
in the work to change, after you've told them, hey,

529
00:39:20,039 --> 00:39:23,519
this is unacceptable, I will not be taking this anymore.

530
00:39:24,079 --> 00:39:27,119
Speaker 3: If they do not want to change, then you may

531
00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:29,400
have to end the relationship.

532
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:32,880
Speaker 2: If you're dealing with this on the job, you need

533
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:37,039
to document it and report it to someone that's higher up.

534
00:39:38,559 --> 00:39:41,840
You may not always be able to eliminate people from

535
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:46,559
your life, but you can definitely try to limit your

536
00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:51,239
exposure to this. And again this could be on the job.

537
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:56,239
This could This is called workplace bullying and there are

538
00:39:56,320 --> 00:40:00,440
certain laws that cover discrimination in the workplace hera in

539
00:40:00,519 --> 00:40:04,400
the workplace, and so therefore you can seek legal advice

540
00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:11,639
for that from an attorney. Again, seek help, seek help,

541
00:40:12,599 --> 00:40:15,840
reach out to people that you can trust, reach out

542
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:20,000
to a counselor reach out to someone that can give

543
00:40:20,039 --> 00:40:23,760
you that support that you need in order to help

544
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:28,199
you develop healthy coping skills in.

545
00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:30,840
Speaker 3: Order to deal with it in the short and the

546
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:31,480
long run.

547
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:34,480
Speaker 2: And hopefully what I mean by dealing with it is

548
00:40:34,559 --> 00:40:39,119
not staying in that situation, but helping you to set

549
00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:43,920
boundaries so that this person will either stop it or

550
00:40:44,079 --> 00:40:48,920
you can limit it, eliminate it all together, or either

551
00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:51,679
limit how often you.

552
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:53,840
Speaker 3: Are dealing with this individual.

553
00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:57,920
Speaker 2: One thing that I I wanna give you before we

554
00:40:58,199 --> 00:41:02,679
end today's podcast is the number to the National Domestic

555
00:41:03,199 --> 00:41:07,880
Violence Hotline, and that is one eight hundred seven ninety

556
00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:12,440
nine seven two three three. That's one eight hundred seven

557
00:41:12,639 --> 00:41:16,360
ninety nine seven two three three, And you can go

558
00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:22,039
to their website at www dot dohotline dot org. That's

559
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:26,679
www dot dohotline dot org. You can also text the

560
00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:31,000
word start to eight six seven eight eight. Text the

561
00:41:31,079 --> 00:41:35,880
word start to eight eight seven eight eight.

562
00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:39,400
Speaker 3: There is help for you. If you are a veteran.

563
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:43,199
You can get all kinds of unlimited resources at VA

564
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:45,480
dot o org.

565
00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:50,639
Speaker 2: No one deserves to be abused, and if someone is

566
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:55,920
making you feel as if this is acceptable behavior, you

567
00:41:56,159 --> 00:41:59,599
can say no, I am no longer going to be

568
00:41:59,679 --> 00:42:08,719
your hunching bag. Rather, it's physically, verbally, spiritually, financially, emotionally,

569
00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:16,559
or any other way you can say no today. I

570
00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:19,639
pray that this podcast has been a blessing to you

571
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:22,480
today and that you would know guess.

572
00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:27,360
Speaker 3: What your feelings they do matter. This is doctor k

573
00:42:27,559 --> 00:42:31,079
O Richard Kabus. No more until next time.