1 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,839 Speaker 1: My mom ran away after I was born because I 2 00:00:12,839 --> 00:00:15,359 came out with drugs in my system. I've tried to 3 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,760 look her up since then, but I think she probably 4 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:20,480 died under a bridge somewhere. I can't say i'd feel 5 00:00:20,519 --> 00:00:23,399 too bad if she did. Grandma always said her biggest 6 00:00:23,399 --> 00:00:25,280 fear was Mom coming back and trying to take me. 7 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:28,559 My dad's parents took me in. It was supposed to 8 00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:30,719 be just until Da've got clean, but he overdosed on 9 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:34,159 fentannel first. He didn't even do fentanel. Grandma told me 10 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:36,439 somebody mixed it in with the crap he bought in 11 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:39,600 the street. I can't say I feel too bad about that, EATA. 12 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,079 He was supposed to be getting clean to raise me. 13 00:00:42,759 --> 00:00:44,719 Maybe I would feel sorry for my parents if I 14 00:00:44,759 --> 00:00:47,200 had known them. Maybe they were good people who made 15 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:49,159 bad choices when they were too young to know better. 16 00:00:49,759 --> 00:00:51,759 But since all I know about them is the drug stuff, 17 00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:54,600 that's my whole concept of them. My therapist did one 18 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:58,039 of those word association exercises with me recently. He only 19 00:00:58,039 --> 00:01:00,280 gave me one second to respond with the first word 20 00:01:00,359 --> 00:01:03,799 or phrase that came to mind. He said, ma'am, and 21 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:07,840 I immediately answered John Key he said, Dad, and I 22 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:10,359 immediately answered, Aunt Die, I'm only telling ye the so 23 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:13,359 ye know me talking about my parents. It isn't like 24 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:16,920 some kind of reach for pity. My feelings are professionally diagnosed. 25 00:01:17,599 --> 00:01:20,959 My grandparents always felt like my parents. I still called 26 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:23,799 them Grandma and Grandpa, but for all intents and purposes, 27 00:01:23,879 --> 00:01:27,519 they were my mom and dad until Grandpa died. It 28 00:01:27,599 --> 00:01:29,480 happened right after we moved into a new house in 29 00:01:29,519 --> 00:01:32,359 two thousand nine. I didn't understand why we had to 30 00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:35,159 move back then. Grandpa kept blaming it on the president, 31 00:01:35,239 --> 00:01:37,760 but that didn't make any sense to me. Fran Mow 32 00:01:37,799 --> 00:01:40,200 kept on saying Grandpa lost his ass on our old house, 33 00:01:40,319 --> 00:01:43,079 which sounded painful but also didn't make sense because Grandpastole 34 00:01:43,079 --> 00:01:46,159 had to see no what. Obviously, I came to understand 35 00:01:46,159 --> 00:01:48,000 the Great Recession later on, and how it forced a 36 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:50,519 multitude of families out of the homes. But I'm trying 37 00:01:50,519 --> 00:01:52,879 to place you in my mindset back then. For some 38 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:55,159 of this to make sense, I'll need to remember what 39 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:59,799 it was like to be seven years old. Where was I? All? Right? Grandpa? 40 00:02:00,159 --> 00:02:01,920 There isn't much to say other than he died in 41 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:04,480 his sleep only days after we moved in. I'll never 42 00:02:04,519 --> 00:02:07,040 forget Grandma wailling loud enough to wake me up that morning. 43 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:09,719 She told me and every one else at Granpa's funeral 44 00:02:09,759 --> 00:02:11,599 that her worst fear came true when she rolled over 45 00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:14,240 that morning and touched his cold, stiff arm. But I 46 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:16,439 guess it was her second greatest fear, right after man 47 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:18,840 coming back for me. So then it was just me 48 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:22,000 and Grandma. I can't honestly say whether she ever had 49 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,680 a job before she went to work at the Salvation 50 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,000 Army up the street to supplement Grandpa was meager life 51 00:02:26,039 --> 00:02:29,520 insurance parts. Next time you go to a Salvation Army, 52 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:33,400 look into the cashier's eyes. I mean, really, look. I 53 00:02:33,439 --> 00:02:35,599 know they are working for Jesus or whatever, but I 54 00:02:35,599 --> 00:02:38,479 swear to God that place sucks out people's souls. When 55 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:40,680 Grandma would talk to friends about her jaw, she would 56 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:42,560 always mention how great it was to work somewhere with 57 00:02:42,639 --> 00:02:44,719 a mission. But that's not what she talked about with me. 58 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:46,560 I heard all about the lines of thanks, barg and 59 00:02:46,599 --> 00:02:48,879 shoppers who treated her no better than one of worthless 60 00:02:48,879 --> 00:02:52,000 trinkets and shelves. None of them knew what Grandma had 61 00:02:52,039 --> 00:02:54,520 been through. When I visited her at work. I could 62 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:56,919 tell some of the customers, usually the ones who didn't 63 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,199 really need to shop at the Salvation Army, assumed she 64 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:01,879 was there because she had and applied herself towards anything better. 65 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:04,680 They had no idea she was trying to feed herself 66 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:06,719 and her grandson on new minimum wage and a crappy 67 00:03:06,759 --> 00:03:09,719 insurance policy, or that she was doing it alone. And 68 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:12,759 because of all this, I was alone too. If I 69 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,199 didn't go visit grandmart work, which I hated doing most 70 00:03:15,199 --> 00:03:17,919 of the time, I went straight home after school. I'd 71 00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:20,639 make myself some pizza rolls or Toaster's droudle and watch 72 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:23,759 cartoons or read until Granma came home after seven. And 73 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:25,719 if that sounds like fun to you, I'm guessing you 74 00:03:25,719 --> 00:03:28,360 had parents. So there's everything you need to know for 75 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:31,319 what's coming next to make sense. I hope my therapist 76 00:03:31,319 --> 00:03:32,919 told me to write this story done to help me 77 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:36,439 process it. So here we go. My fingers are sweating. 78 00:03:37,039 --> 00:03:39,039 I had this blue curtain on my bedroom window that, 79 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:41,840 if shut during the afternoon, cast a tranquil acrihue on 80 00:03:41,879 --> 00:03:44,400 the walls. I used to love shutting a curtain when 81 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:47,879 every fantasy novels the other woldly light helped me escape 82 00:03:47,879 --> 00:03:50,800 reality and enter the wells in the books I used 83 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:54,039 to fantasize about discovering another world back then. I'm sure 84 00:03:54,039 --> 00:03:56,560 you can understand why. I wrote about this in a 85 00:03:56,599 --> 00:03:59,240 poem for school once, and my teacher recommended a book 86 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:02,280 called The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. I guess 87 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:04,759 it's a classic. I checked it out from the school 88 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:08,039 library and started reading it on the bus. I identified 89 00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:11,039 with the Protectonists, the pefancy Sibbings, having also been abandoned 90 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:12,800 by my parents in the interest of saving my life. 91 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,000 Up in my room, with the blue curtain drawn, I 92 00:04:15,039 --> 00:04:17,879 redepart Wie. Lucy, the youngest Pevensey, opens a wardrobe and 93 00:04:17,879 --> 00:04:20,639 discovers what else but a secret world. As I read 94 00:04:20,639 --> 00:04:23,279 about Lucy's stepping into snowy Narnia, I could have sworn 95 00:04:23,319 --> 00:04:25,240 I heard a soft wind beating against the inside of 96 00:04:25,279 --> 00:04:29,240 my own closet door. I could imagine opening it discovering 97 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:32,199 a pine forest dusted in magical snow. Then the wind 98 00:04:32,199 --> 00:04:34,399 behind the door beat a little harder, hard enough to 99 00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:36,959 snap me out of my daydream. Setting the book down 100 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:40,240 and rejecting its influence, I listened I could not blame 101 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:43,120 my imagination for the door's beating any more. It was 102 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:46,720 almost vibrating, rising in velocity, dropping down to soft tapping, 103 00:04:46,759 --> 00:04:49,160 then rising again. I would love to tell you I 104 00:04:49,199 --> 00:04:51,079 was not so naive to think Narnia could actually be 105 00:04:51,079 --> 00:04:54,199 behind my closet door, but I was. My life preceding 106 00:04:54,279 --> 00:04:56,680 that moment matched the typical protagonist journey in one of 107 00:04:56,720 --> 00:05:00,319 my fantasy books. There, I'd been an orphan, hopelessly dreaming 108 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:02,839 of a better, more exciting, and fulfilling life, when a 109 00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:05,639 wise age my teacher pointed me towards a sacred tone, 110 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:08,279 the lie and the witch and the wardrobe. And now 111 00:05:08,319 --> 00:05:10,120 it was time to discover that, likely due to some 112 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:13,120 sequel worthy back story, I was the chosen one, chosen 113 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,560 for what well. I would just have to open the 114 00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:18,160 closet door and find out. I dropped my feet on 115 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:20,879 to the hardwood floor, I could fill a breeze between 116 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,759 my toes, rushing towards me from under the door. Note 117 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:25,879 to my therapist, this is a big moment for me 118 00:05:25,879 --> 00:05:28,879 because I had always been terrified of closets. I'm not 119 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,720 sure why. Maybe we can explore it in my next session, 120 00:05:31,839 --> 00:05:33,839 but for as long as I can remember, I'd had 121 00:05:33,879 --> 00:05:36,319 this horrible sense that something might be hiding behind every 122 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:39,759 closet door. I realize now this is very common amongst children. 123 00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:42,800 Looking back, it's incredible that I went to the closet 124 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,720 all while it was making those noises, a testament to 125 00:05:45,759 --> 00:05:49,839 my desperation. With each step, I took what I was seeing, hearing, feeling, 126 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:52,600 and even smelling pana whatever you call that cold, damp 127 00:05:52,639 --> 00:05:55,759 smell of snow seemed more unbelievable, yet even more real. 128 00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:58,519 I could almost hear an epic skull playing me towards 129 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:01,439 the big reveal. I reached the door knob, I saw 130 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:03,439 my hand trembling and realized a bit of my usual 131 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:06,240 fear was present. After all. I stood with my hand 132 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:08,959 out like that, contemplating whether I really should open the door. 133 00:06:09,519 --> 00:06:11,439 I gazed back at the book lying on my bed, 134 00:06:11,639 --> 00:06:14,680 wondering if it contained answers. If I was going to 135 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:16,639 open the door and enter some other world. I thought 136 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,639 I should probably take the book with me. I turned 137 00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:21,120 back and took one step toward my bed. The door 138 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:24,480 stopped shaking, and the breezetopped whispering around my ankles. The 139 00:06:24,519 --> 00:06:28,240 wall turned real again. I spun back around Hannah's stretched 140 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:30,639 and ripped open the door, desperate to salvage my chance 141 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:33,959 for adventure. Fear be damned, but the clauset was empty. 142 00:06:34,639 --> 00:06:37,240 I studded the walls and searched the ceiling. There was 143 00:06:37,279 --> 00:06:39,079 no way either had let in a draft, not one 144 00:06:39,079 --> 00:06:41,879 big enough to rattle the door anyway, but from nowhere 145 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:44,800 and I see gasperst past me, combing my hair, billowing 146 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:47,879 my clothes, and drying my eyes. It only lasted a 147 00:06:47,879 --> 00:06:51,040 fraction of a second, but almost knocked me off my feet. Regardless, 148 00:06:51,519 --> 00:06:53,639 nothing followed, but I would look back on this later 149 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:55,560 as not the moment I entered another world, but that 150 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:58,560 I let something into mine. I slammed the closet hut. 151 00:06:59,079 --> 00:07:01,040 Whenever I opened my blue k kurtain after having a 152 00:07:01,079 --> 00:07:03,000 clothes for a while, it felt like waking up from 153 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,920 a dream. I slid the curtain aside to transport myself 154 00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:08,839 out of the reality which had just been infiltrated. The 155 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:12,800 had alterated evening. Sun clean's my room and confided me still. 156 00:07:12,959 --> 00:07:14,800 When I pecked my book up again, I carried it 157 00:07:14,879 --> 00:07:17,639 downstairs to keep reading it in the living room. Grandma 158 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:20,000 came home and called to me from the kitchen. She 159 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:23,120 wanted her sewing machine brought up from the basement. She 160 00:07:23,199 --> 00:07:25,439 had brought home an adult allowine cost from somebody had 161 00:07:25,439 --> 00:07:28,160 donated to the Salvation Army. It had a big tear 162 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,120 under one of the arms, but it was an otherwise 163 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:32,800 perfect condition. She could not bear to see it thrown 164 00:07:32,839 --> 00:07:35,800 away when she could so easily repair it. It's torn through 165 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:38,240 both layers, but I think I can manage it, she said. 166 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:41,920 Want to guess what kind of costume? It was a line. 167 00:07:42,439 --> 00:07:46,360 This was a total coincidence. Happenstince, but sortiviery too. Again. 168 00:07:46,519 --> 00:07:48,240 I could not help but feel linked to the book 169 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:50,480 I had just left in the room. The lion costume 170 00:07:50,519 --> 00:07:52,639 did not try to be overly realistic, but it did 171 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:54,560 have a fuzzy tail and a big bushemin around the 172 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:57,839 gaping hole for the wearer's face. Pranmok kept her singer 173 00:07:57,879 --> 00:07:59,920 in the basement since she rarely used it any more. 174 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:02,759 When Grandpa was alive, she used to sit in front 175 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:05,560 of that machine, often repairing clothes for him, for me, friends, 176 00:08:05,759 --> 00:08:08,639 and neighbors. I thought she didn't have the energy or 177 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:10,959 I'm for sewing any more, But knowing Grandma she would 178 00:08:10,959 --> 00:08:13,000 have fixed anything a friend asked her. I realized much 179 00:08:13,079 --> 00:08:15,519 later that her friend stopped asking for those little favors 180 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:18,480 after Grandpa died. Little did they know as much as 181 00:08:18,519 --> 00:08:20,759 Grandma loved sewing, a project here and there would have 182 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,839 brought her joy that instead went missing. Excited that Grandma 183 00:08:23,959 --> 00:08:26,079 was sewing again, it always made her happier. I went 184 00:08:26,079 --> 00:08:28,360 to the basement. When I opened the door at the 185 00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:31,079 top of the stairs, though, and counted an unexpected obstacle. 186 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:34,080 The stairs were gone. The handrail and frame of the 187 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,799 stacae still pointed the weight down, but no steps existed 188 00:08:36,799 --> 00:08:39,399 to get me there. I returned to Grandma to ask 189 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,360 if she knew the steps had all been removed, but 190 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:43,879 she only scolded me for joking around instead of doing 191 00:08:43,919 --> 00:08:46,919 as she asked. She chastised me so that I doubted 192 00:08:46,919 --> 00:08:48,799 my own eyes in memory, and I returned to the 193 00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:52,360 basement shamed. And there were the stairs walked but sturdy 194 00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:55,519 as ever, large gaps species wide enough for her hand 195 00:08:55,519 --> 00:08:58,399 to reach her and grab your ankle separate every step. 196 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,159 Those gaps had terrify me during a few weeks we 197 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:03,960 had lived in the house. Maybe they wouldn't have seemed 198 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,519 so bad if I could have turned in the basement 199 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:07,200 life from the top of the stairs, but the light 200 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:09,799 bulb at the bottom turned on with the drawstring. I 201 00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:11,440 could only reach it if I stood on the last 202 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:14,159 step and stretched to get there. I had to brave 203 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:17,399 the sinister staircase and whatever might look beneath it. Truth 204 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,559 be told. As much as the stairs frightened me and 205 00:09:19,639 --> 00:09:22,320 never hesitated at the top, I could usually mask my 206 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,759 fear until about half way down, and on the day 207 00:09:24,759 --> 00:09:26,759 Granmo sent me for her sewing machine to fix the 208 00:09:26,759 --> 00:09:29,679 line costume. Half way down, as were, one step vanished again. 209 00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:32,399 My foot fell through the empty space before I caught 210 00:09:32,399 --> 00:09:34,679 myself in the handril and yanked my foot back out. 211 00:09:35,279 --> 00:09:37,200 I can't recall what sort of sound I may, but 212 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:40,080 it felt like my soul escaped through my mouth. Grandma 213 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:42,759 yelled to check on me. I nearly yelled back, Grandma. 214 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:45,039 One of the stairs fell off. Before I realized the 215 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:47,279 tricked my eyes and feet had played on me. The 216 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,799 invisible step had returned once more. I tested it, gaged 217 00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:54,159 its strength, and chatted, sorry, just tripped. I had spooted 218 00:09:54,159 --> 00:09:57,559 myself as what I decided I was dare dreaming about Narnia, 219 00:09:57,559 --> 00:10:00,360 and I'd begun to daymare about the basement steps. I 220 00:10:00,399 --> 00:10:03,000 stopped looking where I put my feet, refusing to acknowledge 221 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:06,159 my nagging anxiety. My next step found alive, fritting, but 222 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:09,480 then became stuck. A cramping pressure fixed it in place. 223 00:10:10,159 --> 00:10:11,759 It felt like a nail had caught my shoe lace 224 00:10:11,759 --> 00:10:15,200 and spontaneously tightened it. Only I was not wearing shoes. 225 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:18,360 There was no wooden step beneath my foot. I had 226 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,440 stepped into the palm of a wrinkled gray hand, the 227 00:10:20,559 --> 00:10:22,960 very sort, I supposed, the irrational fear as had tried 228 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:26,039 to warm me about its knotted fingers were responsible for 229 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:29,039 the crushing sensation. A bruttle looking risk connected the hand 230 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:31,279 to a bony arm, which disappeared under the step. Mother 231 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:34,679 foot still stood upon the hand tugged the last two 232 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:36,600 steps in the basement floor rushed up at me. But 233 00:10:36,639 --> 00:10:38,759 my fear wholly belonged to the monster dragging me below 234 00:10:38,799 --> 00:10:42,320 the stairs. Its movements were emphasized by awful groans and 235 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:45,600 pops like old barn were protesting a storm. I think 236 00:10:45,639 --> 00:10:49,279 they came from the monster's bones. I screened for Grandma Will, 237 00:10:49,279 --> 00:10:51,679 holding myself against the monster's pole with the hand rail. 238 00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:54,720 Another knolled hand rose through the stairs, snatching at my 239 00:10:54,759 --> 00:10:59,159 free ankle. It almost caught me. Where was Grandma? I 240 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:02,600 kicked and connected with something like eggshells. Retribution came in 241 00:11:02,639 --> 00:11:05,919 a furious tug, which finally loosed my hands. I fell. 242 00:11:06,519 --> 00:11:09,240 My body crashed on to crusted paate cans, scattering them 243 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:12,080 across the floor. I clenched my as shot as if 244 00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:14,200 I could make the monster disappear. As I flailed amongst 245 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:18,440 the cans, cobwebs, and dead insects. Uneven footsteps descended cautiously 246 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:21,600 above me, and I heard Grandma shouting. She sounded so 247 00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:24,480 far away. I threw bling kicks as my hand searched 248 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,600 for a weapon or purchase on anything which might stop 249 00:11:26,639 --> 00:11:29,360 me from being taken, from being dragged deeper into the shadows. 250 00:11:29,919 --> 00:11:32,840 The monster's wet mouth opened near my ear, Its sticky 251 00:11:32,879 --> 00:11:36,240 tongs qulched inches away a flinch, and my eyes opened. 252 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:39,840 Two green, humanlike eyes met them, green eyes set in 253 00:11:39,879 --> 00:11:42,279 a gaunt face made of living stone. It bore a 254 00:11:42,279 --> 00:11:44,759 collapsed nose and a black forehead from mouth gaping in 255 00:11:44,759 --> 00:11:47,720 an open frown. Black hair, oily and left framed this 256 00:11:47,759 --> 00:11:51,360 horrid expression shoudows disguised any further details. But just as 257 00:11:51,399 --> 00:11:54,320 through tear, as I focused on, my attacker started losing opacity. 258 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:57,200 Like a cloud breaking apart, it drifted into the ether. 259 00:11:57,799 --> 00:11:59,960 This grip on my ankle remained tight until the last 260 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:03,320 its faint edges vanished. Grandma found me a heap of 261 00:12:03,399 --> 00:12:06,879 vibrating muscles, lubricated by tears and snot. She demanded to 262 00:12:06,879 --> 00:12:09,320 know what I was doing beneath the stairs. You could 263 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:11,200 have spilled one of these cans all over the floor, 264 00:12:11,279 --> 00:12:14,720 you know, she scolded me. What happened? I took her 265 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:16,840 hand and let her pull me out from under the staircase. 266 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,639 By the way, not one step was missing, which made 267 00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:21,960 it difficult to instill any credibility into the story I 268 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:25,120 proceeded to tell her. Even to me, it sounded like 269 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:28,440 the rampant delusions of an overworked imagination. I carried the 270 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:31,039 sewing machine upstairs once I got a handle on myself. 271 00:12:31,559 --> 00:12:33,759 I didn't want to, but I realized I would be 272 00:12:33,759 --> 00:12:36,639 back in the basement again soon if I didn't. Grandmaw 273 00:12:36,759 --> 00:12:38,440 watched me from the corners of her eyes for the 274 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:40,919 rest of the night. It would not be until later 275 00:12:41,039 --> 00:12:43,039 that night, when I rolled my sock off of my foot, 276 00:12:43,159 --> 00:12:45,360 that I would discover fall on bruces wrapping all the 277 00:12:45,399 --> 00:12:48,600 way round it. If nothing else, those are certainly real. 278 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:51,600 There's a certain age when, although you are told ghosts 279 00:12:51,639 --> 00:12:55,039 and monsters aren't real, you need assurances. You start to 280 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:58,960 notice inconsistencies your it all. Drinking soda will wrot your teeth, 281 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:01,600 but there are garbage bags bursting with empty Mountain Dukens 282 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,879 in your friend's garage, and his parents have all their 283 00:13:03,879 --> 00:13:06,960 pearly whites. You're told by some relative who smokes a 284 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,720 pack a data you should never pick up the habit. 285 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:11,039 But if smoking is so terrible, why does it seem 286 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:13,120 they can't wait for the chance to do it. You 287 00:13:13,159 --> 00:13:16,039 are told ghosts and monsters, some werewolves and vampires aren't real. 288 00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:19,120 Then a green eyed basement welleru pulls you under the stairs. 289 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:23,080 The next morning, a Saturday, Grandma was off work. I 290 00:13:23,159 --> 00:13:26,240 came downstairs while she was making breakfast and asked, Grandma, 291 00:13:26,279 --> 00:13:29,919 do you believe in ghosts? Of course not, Carter. Why 292 00:13:29,919 --> 00:13:33,480 would you ask such a silly question? Grandma predictably answered. 293 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,120 I swallowed my nerves and said, because I think I 294 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:40,039 saw one yesterday in thebisement, Grandma said, well, I'm pretty 295 00:13:40,039 --> 00:13:43,200 sure you didn't. I doubled down. I think it came 296 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:46,279 out of my closet, Grandma replied, every kid thinks there's 297 00:13:46,279 --> 00:13:48,960 a monster in their closet. Some day you'll grow up 298 00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:52,039 and realize that sort of thing is josilly. Besides, the 299 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:55,440 only real monsters are lawyers and congressmen. I didn't know 300 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:57,559 what those were, but I was pretty sure a congressman 301 00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:00,200 hadn't pulled me to the staircase. But Grandma, I was 302 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:01,960 about to shore the bruise on my foot, even though 303 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:05,360 they had already faded significantly, but she interrupted me. You've 304 00:14:05,399 --> 00:14:08,039 been reading too many of those books about magic and dragons. 305 00:14:08,519 --> 00:14:11,919 You are losing touch with reality, losing touch with reality. 306 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:15,519 See and here I thought reality was losing touch with itself. 307 00:14:16,039 --> 00:14:18,879 Grandma's hard nosed disposition seemed unelpful in the moment, but 308 00:14:18,879 --> 00:14:21,600 it actually went a long way in comforting me. Hearing 309 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,679 how easily she dismissed Maclay made me wonder if she 310 00:14:23,799 --> 00:14:25,759 was right, which opened the door to the possibility that 311 00:14:25,799 --> 00:14:28,639 everything was actually okay, and that was enough to get 312 00:14:28,639 --> 00:14:32,519 me through the day. Mostly. Sometimes, Granma would make a 313 00:14:32,519 --> 00:14:35,000 noise downstairs, and I would jump and glance at the closet, 314 00:14:35,559 --> 00:14:38,559 but mostly I felt safe. I don't think the monster 315 00:14:38,759 --> 00:14:40,879 liked my new confidence much, so it went after my 316 00:14:40,919 --> 00:14:44,080 source of comfort. Grandma opened my door that evening, right 317 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:47,279 before bed hand shaking. I thought she had just received 318 00:14:47,279 --> 00:14:49,279 some bad news, or maybe she was sick. She did 319 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:52,200 look a little feverish. Without looking at me, she closed 320 00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:54,559 the door behind her, then pointed to my closet and asked, 321 00:14:54,679 --> 00:14:56,720 did you really mean what you said about something coming 322 00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:59,600 out of there? I had to think she and I 323 00:14:59,639 --> 00:15:02,080 had boy put so much effort into convincing me nothing 324 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,559 had happened that turning around and believing it again took 325 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:08,279 some effort. I said, yeah, I guess I did you guess? 326 00:15:09,039 --> 00:15:12,039 She demanded. Then, but you've never been one to make 327 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,960 up stories, have you? Do you believe me? I asked. 328 00:15:16,399 --> 00:15:18,279 She opened my door again and gestured for me to 329 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:21,879 follow her. We went downstairs to the kitchen. The table 330 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:25,200 was a mess. Grandma always spread her materials out across 331 00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:27,639 the whole table when tackling a sewing project, but never 332 00:15:27,679 --> 00:15:30,440 with such total disregard. She led me all the way 333 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:33,159 outside into the driveway. On the way out the door, 334 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,480 I asked what we were doing, and Grandma answered, I 335 00:15:35,559 --> 00:15:38,279 have to keep an eye on this. A nasty smelling 336 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:40,639 smoke wafted over the driveway from the side of the house. 337 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:43,639 It irritated my eyes and made my nose run clear 338 00:15:43,679 --> 00:15:46,639 and mortary. Grandma said, I might have been wrong about 339 00:15:46,639 --> 00:15:49,200 what I said earlier, you know about She couldn't make 340 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,440 herself say gos. But I didn't hold it against her. 341 00:15:52,039 --> 00:15:54,200 I had never heard her apologize before, and she was 342 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:57,200 trying her best. She finished, but don't worry, I think 343 00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,960 I took care of it. The wind breathed particularly pungent 344 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:04,080 cloud of smoke toward us. I coughed. Granma moved us 345 00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:06,879 further up the driveway. From there I could see a 346 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:08,679 round the side of the house and found the source 347 00:16:08,679 --> 00:16:11,919 of the smoke. Granfas's old charcoal grill was on fire, 348 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:15,279 or at least that's how it looked. I noticed the 349 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:17,639 fuzzy tail of the lion costume dangling from the open 350 00:16:17,679 --> 00:16:20,519 top and asked, why did you burn the costume, granm 351 00:16:20,519 --> 00:16:23,039 I ignored the question. I want you to stay out 352 00:16:23,039 --> 00:16:25,519 here until we can go back inside together. Then I 353 00:16:25,559 --> 00:16:27,559 want you to tell me if you see anything strange again, 354 00:16:27,679 --> 00:16:30,679 or if anything weird happens, you tell me right away, 355 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:33,279 you hear. I nodded and tried to ask about the 356 00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:36,879 lion costume again, but the flame suddenly tripled gran must 357 00:16:36,879 --> 00:16:39,639 war and shuffle toward the grille. I couldn't follow her 358 00:16:39,679 --> 00:16:42,759 through the smoke. I heard her coughing, then aloud hiss. 359 00:16:43,399 --> 00:16:45,919 The smoke turned white, and the smell changed to something 360 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,720 like a dusty attic. Gran Mustard a few feet from 361 00:16:48,759 --> 00:16:52,120 the grill, holding a fire extinguisher, The child lion costume, 362 00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:55,080 now covered in thin foam, slumped to the ground. After 363 00:16:55,159 --> 00:16:57,840 dumping the costumes remains in the thrush bin, Grandma went 364 00:16:57,879 --> 00:17:00,240 straight up to her room and shut herself in. I 365 00:17:00,279 --> 00:17:03,360 went around, checking locks on doors and windows. All was 366 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:05,759 a cure, but I still feared our infultrutor might find 367 00:17:05,799 --> 00:17:08,400 another way in. I was smart enough to put together 368 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,640 how Grandma thought it was connected to the lion costume, 369 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:13,000 and by burning the costume, she had ended the haunting. 370 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:15,400 I wanted her to be right, but I feared she 371 00:17:15,519 --> 00:17:18,400 was not. I lay alone in bed, wanting to ree, 372 00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:20,359 but scared of what might come out of the book next. 373 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,839 It had not occurred to me, and would not for 374 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:25,039 many years, that whatever had come into our house was 375 00:17:25,079 --> 00:17:28,839 masking itself with whatever occupied mine in Granma's mines. It 376 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,119 was inserting itself at the top of our awareness and 377 00:17:31,119 --> 00:17:34,599 twisting those things which brought us joy. It was leaching us. 378 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:38,240 I think it wanted us weak. Sleep tugged up my eyelids. 379 00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:40,680 My thoughts ran together in an incoherent mush that I 380 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:43,400 was no longer paying any attention to. My mind was 381 00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:45,240 nearly blank when I heard a thought above me. I 382 00:17:45,279 --> 00:17:47,240 stared at the ceiling until I heard the next thump, 383 00:17:47,319 --> 00:17:50,039 clearly from the roof. It didn't come from the attic. 384 00:17:50,559 --> 00:17:53,920 I knew because of how soft it sounded, soft but heavy. 385 00:17:54,599 --> 00:17:56,799 When I heard this second thump, I pulled my covers 386 00:17:56,839 --> 00:17:59,279 over my head. I wondered if grham Mo could hear 387 00:17:59,319 --> 00:18:02,240 the sounds too. They began pacing above me, like some 388 00:18:02,279 --> 00:18:04,400 one walking in circles. For what purpose I could not 389 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:08,119 venture to guess. After seven or eight rounds, the footsteps stopped. 390 00:18:08,759 --> 00:18:11,279 A few seconds passed, then both feet, if that's what 391 00:18:11,319 --> 00:18:15,440 they were, jumped, landing together. Everything went quiet. Mine even 392 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:18,200 breathing sounded twice as loud beneath my covers, making me 393 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:19,680 hold my breath out of fear I would miss a 394 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:23,000 crucial sound outside. Whatever was out there jumped again, but 395 00:18:23,079 --> 00:18:24,799 this time its feet did land in the attic above, 396 00:18:24,839 --> 00:18:27,599 as if it had fallen through the roof. My ceiling groaned. 397 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,559 I started calculating how quickly I could run to my 398 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:33,400 door to Grandma's room. The next thud boom before I 399 00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:36,000 made a decision. It came from right beside my bed 400 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,799 and sounded like my bare feet when I jumped out 401 00:18:37,839 --> 00:18:40,400 of bed every morning. It was there right next to me. 402 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,119 Did it know I was there too? Did it know 403 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:45,799 I was hiding under the covers. I'd been holding my 404 00:18:45,799 --> 00:18:48,599 breath too long. Soon I would have to release it, 405 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:50,680 and then the monster would no more to find me. 406 00:18:51,319 --> 00:18:54,240 It was so still, so quiet. I silently begged for 407 00:18:54,279 --> 00:18:56,000 it to make the floor creak, or for some sound 408 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,960 which would disguise a whispering breath. But the fountain beside 409 00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:01,119 my bed made no such sound, and I had to breathe. 410 00:19:01,559 --> 00:19:03,640 I intended for my lips to form a tiny spigot, 411 00:19:03,759 --> 00:19:06,839 but the desperate air inside me forced them open. Immediately 412 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:09,279 my covers flew off. They hit the far wall in 413 00:19:09,319 --> 00:19:11,640 a cluster. I did not look to see what had 414 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,640 thrown them, instead rolling off of the bed in the 415 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:16,640 side opposite the intruder. My bed springs cirked like some 416 00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:19,519 one was crawling across the mattress. Too afraid to stand, 417 00:19:19,519 --> 00:19:21,839 the less heavy snatched up. I flattened myself and slipped 418 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:24,759 under the bed. I wanted to scream for Grandma, but 419 00:19:24,799 --> 00:19:27,319 had again folded myself into thinking silence would protect me. 420 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,200 I could hear every movement from the being above me. 421 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:32,440 Head springs squeal, the box spring groaned, and I thought 422 00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:35,480 this slast two inches above me might split Whatever was 423 00:19:35,559 --> 00:19:37,759 up there must have been three or four times heavier 424 00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:40,720 than me. For a second, my primary fear changed from 425 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:43,240 being caught to being crushed. I heard one of the 426 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:45,920 slots near my feet break from the frame. It fell 427 00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:48,799 diagily across my legs, and still the weight above increased. 428 00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:51,480 When it seemed inevitable the whole bed would come down 429 00:19:51,519 --> 00:19:54,319 on me, the intruder jumped when it landed in the 430 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:56,880 bed again. Another slot snap in the middle, prodding my 431 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,039 chest and forcing me to move close to the edge. 432 00:19:59,559 --> 00:20:02,160 It must been encouraged by snapping board because the intruder 433 00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:05,440 jumped again and again and again. Each time the whole 434 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,079 bed frame shook, the legs slid four inches. During all 435 00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:11,000 of this, I could no longer stand the anticipation of 436 00:20:11,039 --> 00:20:13,799 the final blow. I cried, stop and regret, instantly wrench 437 00:20:13,839 --> 00:20:16,400 my stomach. I tried to call into a ball, but 438 00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:19,279 I didn't have enough room to move. My protests worked 439 00:20:19,279 --> 00:20:22,119 though A gust of ethereal wind opened my bedroom door 440 00:20:22,119 --> 00:20:24,880 and signaled my salvation from present danger, but also the 441 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:27,680 beginning of a new set of horrors. No more sounds 442 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:29,480 came from my bedroom, but down the hall I heard 443 00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:32,559 gran Must scream my name. Terrified of what I would find, 444 00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:34,079 but eager to be out from under the bed and 445 00:20:34,079 --> 00:20:36,680 the restrictions it imposed, woke my way out and scampered 446 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,319 to the doorway, peering into the dark hallway, seeing nothing, 447 00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:44,000 hearing nothing. Branma only screened my name once. Had she 448 00:20:44,039 --> 00:20:45,319 meant for me to go to her or to run 449 00:20:45,359 --> 00:20:48,400 away to aid or escape? I knew which one I 450 00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,200 wanted to do, but I wouldn't have been able to 451 00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:52,799 live with myself after abandoning my only family. The only 452 00:20:52,839 --> 00:20:55,319 person who remained sober and alive enough to take care 453 00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:57,480 of me. I don't believe Grandma was telling me to 454 00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,319 come or run away, because when I did finally go 455 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:02,720 to her, she angry beyond any doubt. The most furious 456 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,119 I ever saw her ride up to the day she 457 00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:06,359 pass away. Is the only person I shared that harrowing 458 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:09,160 night with. When she saw me, she was already red 459 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:12,240 and turned purple. The glow of her bedside lamp, which 460 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:14,400 she stood beside, wearing only in that gown cast au 461 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:18,000 gus shadows on her scowling face. How to James, she growled, 462 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:21,200 Is this your idea of a joke? Has it been 463 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:24,440 you scaring me this whole time? I heard to explain, No, 464 00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:27,359 something just left my room. I was hiding under my 465 00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:30,359 bed the whole time. She yelled, almost as loudly as 466 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:32,960 she had first screened my name. This stops right now, 467 00:21:33,599 --> 00:21:35,920 tell me the truth. Or boom, like a shotgun, shook 468 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:39,519 the floor. This one came from downstairs. Prian Martin I 469 00:21:39,559 --> 00:21:42,599 stared at each other, paralyyesed with fright. I'm not sure 470 00:21:42,599 --> 00:21:44,799 a word can convey the evil feeling which bled into 471 00:21:44,839 --> 00:21:48,119 the air, rising from downstairs like invisible smoke. It was 472 00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:51,920 similarly suffocating and tasted just as toxic. It's still here, 473 00:21:52,039 --> 00:21:55,240 I said, knowing she would understand what I meant, although 474 00:21:55,319 --> 00:21:57,160 she still hadn't told me what happened to her earlier 475 00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:59,039 that day. With the costume, I had a feeling she 476 00:21:59,079 --> 00:22:02,119 might believe in monsters. Now we need to leave, she said, 477 00:22:02,759 --> 00:22:05,960 not necessarily to me. But where could we go? There 478 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,599 wasn't a ness upstairs unless you counted the windows, all 479 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,279 of which led out to a two story drop that 480 00:22:10,319 --> 00:22:12,279 I may have been able to endure with little injury, 481 00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:15,119 but would at the very least horble Grandma. And that's 482 00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:17,680 assuming she could make it through a window. We ran 483 00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:20,319 out of time to decide what to do. Another sound 484 00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:23,160 came from below, this time the distinctive croak of the 485 00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:26,480 first stair. I imagined a foot, an elongated version of 486 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:28,480 the hand which had grabbed me in the basement, pressing 487 00:22:28,519 --> 00:22:31,480 down on that step. I'm not sure why, because neither 488 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,559 Grandmr nor I had seen the monster yet. That night 489 00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:37,920 it felt more present, I guess, it felt inevitable, and 490 00:22:38,039 --> 00:22:41,240 it smelled now, adding to its amplified presents. It smelled 491 00:22:41,279 --> 00:22:44,400 like smoke and strangely a bit like barbecue. It also 492 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,799 had a toxic undertone, which forced the memory of grand 493 00:22:46,799 --> 00:22:49,400 Mob burning the lion costume upon me. But now the 494 00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:52,119 footsteps were half way up the stairs. They came in 495 00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,680 an uneven patent which did not synchronize with my intrinsic 496 00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:57,599 memory of how the stairs should sound. It almost sounded 497 00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:00,599 like two separate and trews creeping up car her. Grandma 498 00:23:00,599 --> 00:23:03,799 whispered close the door. This obvious reaction had eluded me 499 00:23:03,839 --> 00:23:05,799 while I tried to make sense of what I was hearing, 500 00:23:06,319 --> 00:23:08,000 I reached for the door at the very moment to 501 00:23:08,039 --> 00:23:11,279 tonished mane emerged at the top of the stairs. I watched. 502 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:14,200 It was all I could do, as the charred and 503 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:16,599 in some places melted lion suit padded into the hallway 504 00:23:16,599 --> 00:23:20,200 on all fours. It was clearly operated by something physical within. 505 00:23:20,799 --> 00:23:22,599 The hood pointed down, so the black and man hid 506 00:23:22,599 --> 00:23:24,480 to wear his face, but I imagined it would mirror 507 00:23:24,519 --> 00:23:26,119 the one I had seen prayer, the one with the 508 00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:29,160 green eyes. Without shutting the door, lest I let the 509 00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:32,160 downward facing lion of our location, I scoured back to Grandma. 510 00:23:32,799 --> 00:23:35,000 She shut off her lamp and we knelt behind her bed. 511 00:23:35,599 --> 00:23:38,119 Grandma had all sorts of boxes and shoes and things 512 00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:41,440 under her bed, so I couldn't hide there this time. Luckily, 513 00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:43,839 Grandma's vanity mirror faced the open doorway, so I thought 514 00:23:43,839 --> 00:23:46,880 I could watch the lion. Unfortunately, I realized if I 515 00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:48,640 could see the lion in the mirror, it could also 516 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:51,279 see me. I cowered away from the reflection. A board 517 00:23:51,319 --> 00:23:55,200 popped in the hallway, and others squeaked. If I tried hard, 518 00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:57,119 I could make out the sound of the fussy tail dragging. 519 00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:00,480 I heard the main brushing against the bedroom door, and 520 00:24:00,599 --> 00:24:02,680 risked a glance at the mirror, hoping the lion wouldn't 521 00:24:02,759 --> 00:24:05,160 choose that moment to look up. Pope meant nothing to 522 00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:08,079 the vile spirit which had possessed the costume. Our eyes 523 00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:12,039 met in the reflection. It's mild, Grandma, I shouted, as 524 00:24:12,039 --> 00:24:14,799 I scrambled to my feet. She climbed up using the 525 00:24:14,799 --> 00:24:17,759 bed and gasped when she saw the lion's face. The 526 00:24:17,839 --> 00:24:20,440 lion stopped back and forth, much like a real cat, 527 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:23,359 pacing to show us our boundary. With walls behind and 528 00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:25,359 to either side of us, we had nowhere to go. 529 00:24:26,039 --> 00:24:27,839 It fed off our fear, and it must have been 530 00:24:27,839 --> 00:24:30,720 getting full. Grandma and I were both the most terrified 531 00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:34,920 of our lives. Get back, Grandma screamed. She picked up 532 00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:38,200 the lamp, wielding it defensively. The lion pounced on to 533 00:24:38,279 --> 00:24:41,880 the bed. Grandma turned the lamband. You can't take him. 534 00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:45,440 You can't, Grandma cried, angrily, weaving the lamp back and 535 00:24:45,519 --> 00:24:48,880 forth like a torch. The lion came forward, moving fully 536 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,279 into the light, and I saw its face in perfect detail. 537 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,000 A few locks of black hair had loosened from the hood, 538 00:24:54,079 --> 00:24:56,000 framing the face and putting it in context. For me, 539 00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:59,279 it was gray and hollow and dead looking, but it was, 540 00:24:59,279 --> 00:25:01,759 without a doubt, the face of my mother. She sensed 541 00:25:01,759 --> 00:25:04,920 my recognition. No, don't you look at him, Grandma warned, 542 00:25:05,519 --> 00:25:08,599 look at yourself. What judge would ever give you custody? 543 00:25:09,279 --> 00:25:13,160 What's your plan? Kidnapping him? The thing wearing Mom's face 544 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:16,519 looked back at Grandma and grinned. Pink coloration spread from 545 00:25:16,519 --> 00:25:19,319 behind its ears and washed over the whole face. The 546 00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:22,240 nose inflated and straightened. Its then dry lips puffed out, 547 00:25:22,279 --> 00:25:26,160 and heel then darkened. Beautiful eyebrows grew in a boat's eyes, 548 00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,119 which came out of the skull until they looked chieful 549 00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:30,680 and alert. The face now looked like a frogo I 550 00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:32,799 had seen of my mother in high school, right before 551 00:25:32,799 --> 00:25:36,119 she was introduced to hard drugs. If I needed any confirmation, 552 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:38,279 the thing in the lions suit was not actually my mother, 553 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,480 that was it. Even if she was still alive, that 554 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:44,400 version of her was long dead. The spirit had tapped 555 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,880 into Grandma's worst fear, though, and it had a piercing 556 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,480 grip on her. Go away, I shouted at it, but 557 00:25:49,559 --> 00:25:52,799 it remained focused on Grandma. Its face was beautiful, but 558 00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,960 its expression hideous. Its grin had become as neared its 559 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:59,079 repaired no scrunched, and in its eyes I saw something 560 00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:03,000 I had never seen before or yet instantly recognized, bloodlust. 561 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:06,480 The lion hunched back and pound at Grandma. She threw 562 00:26:06,519 --> 00:26:08,720 the lamp of both arms directly into the lion's face, 563 00:26:08,839 --> 00:26:12,039 my mother's face. The lamp entered the costume's hood, still 564 00:26:12,079 --> 00:26:15,319 actively pursuing its trajectory. The whole costume went limp as 565 00:26:15,319 --> 00:26:16,960 the lamp dragged it off of a bed, through the 566 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,279 air and on to the floor across from us, where 567 00:26:19,279 --> 00:26:22,519 the lamp shattered and the costume went still. Let's go, Carter, 568 00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:25,440 Grandma said. She ushered me away from the bed, and 569 00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:28,119 we heardd downstairs. On the way out the door, she 570 00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:31,440 grabbed her car keys. She drove us to the Salvation Army, 571 00:26:31,519 --> 00:26:34,920 and we slept on donated couches or tried to sleep anyway. 572 00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:37,960 We let the bank fell close on that house. We 573 00:26:38,039 --> 00:26:41,200 never went back. Whether that dark spirit had been patiently 574 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:43,359 awaiting its chance in that house when we moved in, 575 00:26:43,519 --> 00:26:45,920 or if actually came with the costume, we weren't going 576 00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:48,559 to risk facing it again. Grandma had to buy a 577 00:26:48,559 --> 00:26:50,720 new copy of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe 578 00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:53,839 for the school library. I've chosen to remain ignorant about 579 00:26:53,839 --> 00:26:56,759 the house's fate. I'm not sure if it still stands, 580 00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:59,799 or if it does, who owns it. I fear see 581 00:26:59,839 --> 00:27:02,359 how the emotion continues to drive me that re establishing 582 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:04,680 any sort of connection to the house, even just seeing 583 00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:06,799 a picture of it, might invite the terrible thing back 584 00:27:06,799 --> 00:27:09,319 into my life. And now I don't have Granma to 585 00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:13,279 protect me. She passed away unexpectedly in her sleep. At 586 00:27:13,279 --> 00:27:16,079 her funeral, the minister said she passed away peacefully. I 587 00:27:16,079 --> 00:27:18,519 hope he's right, but I'm not so sure. The reason 588 00:27:18,519 --> 00:27:20,319 I wonder her ties back to why Grandma tried to 589 00:27:20,319 --> 00:27:22,960 burn up that lion costume. She told me her theory 590 00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,839 about what happened years after our ordeal. It knew I 591 00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:27,680 was afraid to lose your grandpa, and that I knew 592 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:30,920 his heart wasn't in the greatest shade. Somehow it killed him. 593 00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:33,000 It took him away, because that's what I was most 594 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,319 afraid of. It must have lived off with the daily 595 00:27:35,319 --> 00:27:37,279 fears I had about not being able to support you 596 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,240 or losing you, until it was strong enough to try 597 00:27:39,279 --> 00:27:41,319 to take you to I could see it her way. 598 00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:44,039 If I tried, I had not been the intented victim 599 00:27:44,039 --> 00:27:46,759 of the haunting, as I had previously believed. I was 600 00:27:46,799 --> 00:27:49,599 merely a pawn and a scheme to what her Grandma, 601 00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:52,000 but I believed her based on what made her burn 602 00:27:52,039 --> 00:27:55,279 the costume. While she was repairing the outer lining, she said, 603 00:27:55,319 --> 00:27:58,200 she began to feel the fabric tightening. She realized it 604 00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:01,400 was moving slightly beneath her fingertips. She sat back and 605 00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:04,519 watched as the costume faded, but only partially, she said. 606 00:28:04,559 --> 00:28:07,000 The lights only firned up about half way down. A 607 00:28:07,079 --> 00:28:10,720 face had appeared in the open hole. Grandma recoiled. The 608 00:28:10,799 --> 00:28:14,039 face blowish gray and morbidly still belonged to me. It 609 00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:16,079 was my face and case in the stillness of death.