Speaker 1: I've met a lot of rash old men in my
travels who paid a high price for their notorious reputations.
But I've never met a man who was paid as
much as you have. Was it worth it? Have gone?
Will travel? Selling?
Speaker 2: Mister John Dayner as Paladin, San Francisco, eighteen seventy five,
The Carlton Hotel, headquarters of a man called Paladin.
Speaker 1: It just isn't possible. It's ridiculous. Hey, yes, come in,
let me see you trying to the dresser. He's so
probalyd And what's the moody you call around a floor
like that? Hey boy, it just isn't possible. It's vanished,
completely vanished. Oh my, it slipped out of my hand.
I was standing right there. But where is it? Where
did the confounded thing go?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 4: I help you look, let's see off, mis what we
look for in my collar button?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 1: Oh, let's see it off. Isn't possible. And I'm due
for my appointment with the Countess in fifteen minutes.
Speaker 4: A condis in the.
Speaker 1: Right Honorable Countess of Dunkley Tatsbroom. She sent me a note.
Oh yes, see guts in hotel. She's very nice lady
come in.
Speaker 6: Oh he divided that I can't run now.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's ober.
Speaker 6: What's mandy to crawl a Lada floor like that?
Speaker 7: Oh?
Speaker 1: Miss, you won't?
Speaker 7: Maybe?
Speaker 1: Are you come back later?
Speaker 7: We're very busy.
Speaker 1: Hey boys, quite right, and as long you've coming a
round a bad time, come back later? Please? All right?
Speaker 2: I go come back Lada?
Speaker 7: Oh mis?
Speaker 5: Had you dropped color?
Speaker 2: Button and flow?
Speaker 8: I put him here a kilo?
Speaker 1: You'll be looking for that today? Maybe?
Speaker 9: Well, I come back when you busy?
Speaker 3: Are you're smoking more now? And giant it?
Speaker 10: Least?
Speaker 1: Have a real singer.
Speaker 10: Rat, Have a camel the back, make the very best.
Speaker 3: Have a real singaret? Have a camel?
Speaker 1: Then?
Speaker 8: Are you looking for flavor and mildness?
Speaker 3: I have a real singer rat. Have camel the back,
make the very best.
Speaker 11: Have a real cigarette, A realtor.
Speaker 3: A real sacre. Right, pap came again.
Speaker 1: For the eleventh straight year.
Speaker 10: Camel outsold every other cigarette filled her King's eye and regular.
Speaker 1: The best tobacco makes the best smoke.
Speaker 10: So if you're smoking more now but enjoying it less,
change to camels. Get more real satisfaction every time. Start
to really enjoy smoking again.
Speaker 5: Have a real sat a real scaret, a real sacre.
Speaker 3: Right pap came.
Speaker 1: Thanks to missus Wong. I arrived from my appointment promptly
at ten. Lady May, the right Honorable Countess of Dunkley Totsborough,
waited for me in her sitting room, stiffly erect in
an enormous high backed chair. She was every inch a
noble woman, a delicate bird like, lovely old lady with
snow white hair and alert blue eyes.
Speaker 6: You sit down, mister Kelladin guild. You are a gentleman
with the gun who travels. Yes, rather an odd calling,
But then I suppose it's only temporary.
Speaker 1: Well, sometimes a business like mine can be very temporary.
Speaker 6: Really, Oh yes, because well, mister Paladin, I am here
in San Francisco for only one reason, to avail myself
of your unusual.
Speaker 1: Services fatered, Lady May.
Speaker 6: My husband, the Earl of Dunkley Tatsborough, died three years ago.
The title and estate plane of geniture you know past
my eldest son, Gerald, Dear boy Gerald, very much like
his father Stuffy in a boor but a deer. Nevertheless,
six months ago Gerald met with an unfortunate shooting accident.
Partridge Partridge on the moors in the mist who can't
see anything besides family. Is such a beastlish, detestable girl.
I never did like her. Pamela Gerald's wife, she shot him.
Speaker 1: Oh, oh, that was indeed most unfortunate.
Speaker 6: So now the title and estate passed my son Bertrood.
That's where you come in. I want you to find him.
He's lost, Oh, dear no, he's somewhere in this splendid
country of yours.
Speaker 1: Well it's quite a large country, you know. Well where
would I stop from him? That is, if I started
out to find him?
Speaker 2: Where The last.
Speaker 6: Post I had from the dear boy was from a
place called Stinking Springs. Ah, isn't it.
Speaker 1: Well, it narrows it down now that's in the Hila
River section.
Speaker 6: But that was over a year ago.
Speaker 1: A lady may was Berton what we call a remittance
man banished from home living on an allowance.
Speaker 6: Banished is rather a harsh word, mister Peladon. And as
from Lowndes, Bertie is quite wealthy in his own right
from his godmother, the dear Duchess. When he came to
this country, he had a deposit of fifty thousand pounds
to his credit in the chase National Bank of New York.
Speaker 1: But a quarter of a million dollars, it's quite a sum, I.
Speaker 6: Must confess, mister Paladin. I was always inclined to favor Bertran.
He was a delicate child, mild manner, gentle. He grew
to be a fine man, but there was always conflict
with his father, who felt he was a weakling. Nam
de Pende s uppy who it seems a wise thing
Bertie should leave England.
Speaker 1: Do you think he'll want to go back?
Speaker 5: He must.
Speaker 6: He is now the Earl of Duncley, Tatsborough. He must
take his rightful place. Yeah, this ring. Take it to
mister Paladin when you'll find him, And I know you
shall show it to him. He bears the family crest.
And if he should hesitate at all, say this. See
Mums needs her twinkie boy.
Speaker 1: Mums needs her twinkie boy.
Speaker 6: Yes, he will understand. Here is his picture. It was
taken four years ago, just before he left England.
Speaker 1: Oh goodness, let's see. I mean this is the right
honorable Bertrand, Earl of Dunkley, Tatsborough.
Speaker 6: Yes, poor dear, I'm proved so about it. He's going
so far away, feeling he was unwanted.
Speaker 1: Well, Lady May, he doesn't have to feel unwanted anymore.
He's wanted by the territories of Arizona, New Mexico and Texas.
Speaker 6: Yeh, boy, whatever do you mean?
Speaker 1: I hate to say this, but there's no mistake this picture.
This is bad burt I.
Speaker 6: That's Lord DIERTRM taken four years ago.
Speaker 1: That is bad bert He is known as a tough,
dangerous road agent. No, I'm sorry, Lady May.
Speaker 6: Tough, yes, dangers, yes, well, I wish his father could
hear that, bully for Bertie.
Speaker 2: Constipation is something people don't talk about much, but it
can be a problem for anyone, even doctors. And when
constipation occurs, it's interesting to see just what doctors consider
important about a laxative they might use or recommend.
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 2: A majority of the doctors we heard from had this
to say. A laxative should be effective as close to
natural acting as possible, and the medicine that can be
used with complete confidence. Now x lax has been popular
with many doctors and millions of people over the years.
Because plant tasting chocolate, a x lax is effective overnight.
It helps you toward your normal regularity. X lax is
gentle next morning. It gives you the closest thing to
natural action, and that's why many doctors and millions of
people use x lax with complete confidence.
Speaker 1: X lax.
Speaker 2: The laxative that helps you toward your normal regularity gently
overnight is x lax in your medicine cabinet.
Speaker 1: I couldn't see much chance for success in locating the
Earl of Dunkley Tatsborough, alias bad Bert, since obviously the
combined law enforcement officers of all the Southwest had failed
in this endeavor. But Lady May had offered a handsome fee,
twinkled her eyes at me, and besides, I was curious.
I wondered why anyone with fifty thousand, good, substantial English
pounds that draw on would bother to hold up a stage.
It was a search without much plan or direction, but
I started by looking in on my friend Truman Billings,
the sheriff of Navajo County. The walls of his office
were plastered with wanted posters, and among them I found
bad Burt Well.
Speaker 9: Tell you the truth, Paladin, we don't know an awful
lot about that fella. He's a real baffling curse.
Speaker 1: Why have you made any real effort to track him down.
Speaker 9: Oh, look at that wall, Paladin, Look at the wanttage
we got. We have to do our work where we
get the most pressure.
Speaker 1: What do you mean by that?
Speaker 9: Well, take these stagecoach robberies, the insured shipments that get
held up, payroll stuff like that. These we get pressure on.
Those insurance companies are on our tail every minute. There's
bird here. He's lived in a lot of gold, but
they was all private shipments, none of it insured.
Speaker 1: Just having to work out that way. He'd always worked
out that way.
Speaker 9: Yeah, same report from every place he's operated.
Speaker 1: But what about these prime parties have lost gold to Bert,
the people for whom the shipments were intended. Didn't any
of them ever apply any any pressure?
Speaker 9: No, not that I recall. I figure they must have
been folks passing through. Took it to something you gotta
expect in this part of the country.
Speaker 1: All the talk I've heard about Burt makes him out
to be a pretty tough character. Was anyone ever killed
or injured in any of these hold Upsod? No, But
don't kid yourself. He ain't tough. He's got himself a
gang of the worst outlaws in the country. What's your
interest in impelled. I have a message for him.
Speaker 9: Oh you watch yourself if you ever run into him.
He's a bad one. I don't suppose you could tell
me what the message is.
Speaker 1: I could, but you wouldn't believe it. Lady May had
given me a list of the postmarks and all the
letters Lord Bertram had written home to England in the
past four years, and I checked each town. Everyone seemed
to know fear and respect Bad Burt the road engine.
I discovered that he had become a sort of legendary character,
and the tales about him had grown with the telling.
The road from Sofur Flats to heel a Bend was
a desolate one. I was the only passenger in the coach,
but a heavy chest was riding in the boot.
Speaker 4: It's here the hold of mister.
Speaker 3: Come on get out.
Speaker 1: Ah feels good to stretch my leg.
Speaker 9: I drop your gun, mister, I drop you sure and
watch yourself and you won't get hurt.
Speaker 1: It's in the boot, boss, come on, hurry up, mister.
It's here coach being robbed by Bad Bert, leader the
toughest gang in the West. That's very interesting. Why do
you tell me that boss's orders? H where's the boss
way up there on the hill. Yeah, that's the boss.
He got a spyglass. Then he doesn't actually take part
in these robbers.
Speaker 5: Oh he figured a mystery and so far he done
real good, aren't.
Speaker 3: You got it?
Speaker 6: Boss?
Speaker 1: On the last move? Wait a minute, Wait a minute.
I've got something here I want you to take to
your boss.
Speaker 5: Get your hand out of that pocket, get him.
Speaker 1: Well, well you get it. Then it's in my best pocket.
Here the ring for your boss. Oh what side there?
Speaker 5: You don't want no ring?
Speaker 1: I think you'll want this one. I take it to him.
It's in this pocket here.
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, uh oh.
Speaker 1: What's that? Boss?
Speaker 5: You seen me through that spyglass? See me reach in
your pocket. We ain't supposed to take nothing but gold.
See he got some funny IDs.
Speaker 1: Well you show him that ring, he'll understand. And my
name is Paladin. I'm going to be at the King
Hotel and he'll a bend. Don't forget them.
Speaker 5: Oh, don't you forget this here, coach robbed by bad bird.
Speaker 3: Come on, boss, come.
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Speaker 1: When the stage coach reached Hill of Bend, I went
him immediately to the freight office. I was anxious to
learn if the party who lost their shipment of gold
a bad burt would be as disinterested as the others.
The gold had been addressed to Hobbes L. Puffer Esquire.
The clerk had never heard of a gentleman. But then
I remember that Hobbes L. Puffer was the name of
a Cambridge cricket champion who had died three years ago.
That's when I hearded a telegram to the Chase National
Bank of New York requesting an immediate reply. I checked
into the King Hotel and had a drink and dinner,
and started back to the telegraph office. I was just
rounding the corner when I felt the gun at my back.
Speaker 5: Valid him who you He's gonna take a little trip. Boss,
won't see.
Speaker 1: You all right the first time going to step into
the telegraph office. You arded me? You heard me? Yes?
Speaker 9: So what can they do for you?
Speaker 1: My name is Paladin. Did you get an answer to my wire? Sure?
In here it is all read out. Thank you. He
get up, Come on, come on, we can't keep the
boss waiting. As we followed a trail that led over
a mountain, I had a lot of time to think
about the message I'd received from a bank. They confirmed
what I guess I'd already known. Lord Bertrand had been
stealing from himself, orderinglishments of gold from his account to
be delivered in a fictitious name, then setting up the
hold up and splitting with his men. It's almost daylight
when we reached bad Birt's headquarters. There's quite a place
you have here, Yeah, some hide out. Indeed, it is
ie here door. This leads the drawing room. Drawing room.
Well that's what the boss calls it. I can't figure
why everybody's waiting for you to get on he well
he is boss. Yeah, are you coming, mister Paladin? Bert,
nice place you have here, Thank joy, we like it
or like a fancy hunting lodge and a hide out
for thieves. Now don't bother with introductions. I recognize these
boys from their pictures. Your group certainly adds up to
a tidy little sum and reward money.
Speaker 5: He get an awful smart both, mister Paladin.
Speaker 4: We can do nicely without your trailer is I brought
to her simply to ask where did you get this ring?
Speaker 1: It was given to me along with a message for you, missy.
Well we'll come. Man's the missy, it's heavy. I think
you'd better send your men out. Oh not at all.
My companion's are men with me now, please, Missy. All right, Bert,
you asked for it. Mums needs her twinkie boy.
Speaker 7: Now what's that supposed to mean?
Speaker 5: Why you No, no, no, no, no, no no no no, mister Kelly,
Well you can't stand still for that kind of consultant talk.
Speaker 4: No, gentlemen, I'm going to have to ask you to
leave the drawing room. After all, this is the matter.
I feel that I must settle myself.
Speaker 1: Had a boy ball.
Speaker 5: Because he's too durned smart.
Speaker 7: Come on, fellows, Well.
Speaker 4: Mister Paladin, from your message, it appears that my tenure here.
Speaker 5: Is over.
Speaker 1: Oh you couldn't have held out much longer anyway. Even
fifty pounds doesn't last forever when you're cutting in practically
every outlaw on the frontier.
Speaker 4: Oh but it was money well spent, mister Paladin.
Speaker 1: You can't possibly imagine. I think I can, Lord Bertrand
or should I say bad Bert?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yes, bad bird boss wanted?
Speaker 4: Oh if Moms needs her twinkie boy.
Speaker 11: Those people come in to me and they say, oh,
told you were once a great chef. Because I am
now selling meat in my butcher shop. One sometimes forgets
I know lots about.
Speaker 8: Cooking me too, though, I'll let you in on a
little cooking secret of mine.
Speaker 1: French is wh's the sheer sauce?
Speaker 8: Ah, Only French is w's. The shear has in it
a collection of spices the Germans know accentuates a good
flavor of meat. Frenches also had soy an chopies, tamarinds.
I could go on and on, but theseing teans due
to everyday food mouth watering, nay I, I suggest you
try this with pot roast at one tablespoon.
Speaker 1: Franchis was the year to each cup of travy Ah.
Would you believe the difference With Franchis. You really spark up.
Speaker 11: Your meals and people will say, my goodness, but you're
a wonderful cook, just as they used to say to me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've finished with this, Miss Long, you can take
the trade downstairs.
Speaker 6: Miss I keep thinking all the time of this bad Bert.
Speaker 2: You tell me about he really rough, he's on money,
and divide up with that man.
Speaker 1: Well you understand, of course, miss wrong. The men didn't
know it was his money. They just figured he was
a pretty clever boss planning all those successful hold ups.
And naturally, in the custom among thieves, there had to
be a division of the spoils.
Speaker 6: Very funny rough he's on money.
Speaker 1: Well, Miss Wong. Bert was a meek little man, painfully
aware of his insignificant He desperately needed important fear a
big man, even if it cost him his inherance.
Speaker 7: Oh plenty money to have that refutation.
Speaker 1: Ah, but Bert had his day of glory. Now Lord Berton,
the Earl of Dunkley Tuxborough, is back in England, attending
to his estate where he'll live out his days. He
be forgotten, but mark you my words. The stories about
bad Bert will grow and be told and retold until
nobody will know where the truth leaves off and the
tall tales begin. But he'll be remembered.
Speaker 7: Oh oh brother, this miserable cold and my sinuses.
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Speaker 2: Tablet Have Gun Will Travel Created by Herb Meta and
Sam raw Is pull gill Stand, directed in Hollywood by
Fine Palace, and stars John Dayner as Powerin with Ben
Wright as hey Boy and Virginia Gregg as Miss warm
Tonight's story was specially written for Have Gone Will Travel
by Ann Dows, featured in the cast for Launch stopped
in Bartle Robinson, James Nusser, and Teggy Webber. This is
Hugh Douglas inviting you to join us again next week
when CBS Radio presents Have Gun Will Travel