Speaker 1: What's up? Guys?
Speaker 2: It is Rob from Softcore History and I just want
to say Merry Christmas to me and Dan. We're taking
this week off and instead giving you a preview of
the sort of content you can get at patreon dot
com slash Softcore History ad free. This won't be add
free because it's on the main feed and we're trying
to make money to pay for the Christmas presents we
can't afford. But this is the sort of content, along
with a lot of other stuff you can get at
patreon dot com slash softcore History, So please enjoy this
free Patreon preview.
Speaker 1: Welcome to Softcore History. What is up?
Speaker 2: Welcome back to Softcore History on Paytreon. I am your
host for the week, Rob Fox. As always, I'm joined
by Jake Goldman and Dan Regster. Any new boys, not
bad man? How are you all right? All right?
Speaker 3: Thanks for having us? Uh, how you feeling? First episode?
You were kind of having a bit of a spaz
with the coughs.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got a little ranch water down the wrong hole,
your buttthole? You butt chugging? You butt chugging ranch waters
are dubs, man. It's so funny that you say that
butt chugging because we're kind of talking about butt chugging today. Really, yeah,
what do you mean kind of it's yes, No, it's
very binary butt chugging. Well, we'll get it. We'll get
to that.
Speaker 2: So I joked in the episode on Monday that I I, uh,
you guys are like, oh, I keep you keep getting
your topics from the discord that we have for Patreon members.
You can check it out.
Speaker 3: Yess a joke joking about that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that you guys are just now letting the fucking
you know for you about the people that listen to
the show. Yeah, it's for requests. But I'm a man
of work ethic. I use man of honor, yes, a
man of work ethic. Yes, I used chat GPT. So
right the whole episode, no, no, no, no, So I want.
I was like, let's see how it does. I honestly,
I was just like, let's see how it does. And
I was thinking maybe I would do a list this week,
a little listical of lesser known bizarre medical practices from history. Okay,
so I tell chat GPT, I asked them, I say, hey,
what can you tell? Give me a list of twenty
bizarre medical practices from history? And I was just gonna
I was gonna have to do my own research on it, basically,
like but I just wondered because I like.
Speaker 1: You did with COVID, you had to do your own research.
H yeah, yeah, or like nine eleven, you gotta do
your own research, you do.
Speaker 2: Those towers fell faster than gravity. I think George Bush
opened a black.
Speaker 1: Hole beneath Many people believe it was a sonic ritual
to open a portal.
Speaker 3: You know, it's weirdly a nine to eleven conspiracy theorist me,
Rosie o'donald.
Speaker 2: I could see it. That makes sense to me. Don't
trust the government, that's her words. Sure, great, thanks Rosie. Yeah, wonderful.
She was on the view.
Speaker 3: Out nine eleven conspiracies.
Speaker 2: It was great.
Speaker 1: Do you remember the little coushballs she'd shoot a people
on her little show. No, it was like she like
made those.
Speaker 2: I never mind. Rosie o'donnald was the first Ellen DeGeneres,
like she has some stupid daytime talk show. Trump. She
was a big old whipping post for Trump too. For
a while.
Speaker 1: He mentioned her in the first presidential debate against Clinton.
I think, yeah, it was like, wait, why are we
even talking about that. That was the point where I
was just like, God, damn it, I hate everything so much.
Speaker 3: But anyway, I love when she has a feud with
Larry David Curb.
Speaker 1: God, I forget about that too. Rosie o'donnald is like
such a non person now.
Speaker 2: And she was mad. She was, Yeah, she was, she was.
Speaker 1: She was great in the league of their own. All right,
that's all said, she was. That was the best word. Actually,
Harriet the Spy was pretty good too. Yeah, that's fair.
I'll carry it. The Spy she had a moment.
Speaker 2: But so I asked chat GPTA said, hey, give me
twenty bizarre medical practices from history. And I'm looking down
the list and I'm like, all right, i'll find a
few good ones. We'll do a B and C. The
first one that catches my eye I start doing research
on immediately before I even continue the list, and very
quickly I think two things. One, oh wow, this can
be its entire own episode. I don't even need the
rest of this list. And two, about halfway through writing this,
you guys are this way when you're doing a Patreon episode,
where you're like, fuck, I kind of wish I was
doing this on the main. Yeah, just because it's like
I wish as many people as possible could hear about
what I'm about to tell people about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, not that we don't love you more, I care
about the people that pay us.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you deserve of this more than the fucking poor people,
the poors who listen to the main. So in that respect,
you know, Yes.
Speaker 1: The ghost followers as I would like to refer to them, Yes,
they're not real softies. No, they're just there. They're just
there getting us paid. But these people are paid like us.
You know, ex girlfriend or ex girlfriend's new boyfriend, just
kind of lurking on your social media.
Speaker 3: Just checking me out, just popping in here and there.
Speaker 1: You've used your LinkedIn by mistake, doesn't realize he's not
in private mode. It's like, dude, I know you just looked.
Speaker 2: I know you fucking looked at it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I found this more to.
Speaker 3: Connect when a network network just like you do it, bro,
I found this one, and.
Speaker 1: Holy shit, it became an entire episode. So today it's
about but choking.
Speaker 2: We are talking about the history of tobacco smoke and amas.
Oh I actually know about this, do you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they used to use Billows to blow tobacco smoke
up people's assholes eventually.
Speaker 2: Oh, there's a different way it started. I can't wait
for this.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Um yeah, we're not even really talking about the Billows.
Oh damn, Okay, I know nothing about this, and I
thought that was pretty much. I was like, how are
you gonna squeeze this into an whole episode? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so today, Yeah, we're talking about tobacco smoke animas,
and there are many uses to.
Speaker 1: Hard quote unquote heal people. Hell yeah, perfect, Jake, bring
it back. Have you shoved your fucking vape up your ass?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Uh, it's called the tobacco smoke nima, not a
tobacco vapor enema.
Speaker 2: Mm you fuck. I feel like the vapor would be
more effective though.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just you gotta puck her harder. Yeah, because
you got a drop hooker on your escobar brother or
your jewel escobars would be perfect for shoving up your butt.
Speaker 2: They are perfectly shaped.
Speaker 1: For that depends well, depends on your asshole as both. No,
it doesn'tay round. They're a little round robot dick.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, but what if you just have a pretty
big asshole.
Speaker 1: It's just constantly open. Yeah, asshole, I imagine you don't
have a lot of friends because you just wreak. The
pits of your intestines are leaking out. I don't think
people walk around with a gaping asshole, dude. I think
you're wrong. I think a lot of people walk around
with gaping assholes, just like with a gauge. I believe
thirty five percent of the population right now is walking
around with a butt plug thirty five huh thirty five?
Is that like her seventy percent? So he thinks people
he thinks on their bachelor parties, thinks one hundred million
Americans have a butt pluck in right at all times. Yeah,
that would just that's like the amount of men that
are in the US.
Speaker 3: Also, what where are you getting your numbers from? I
said thirty five percent.
Speaker 1: There's three hundred and thirty million Americans. That would be
one hundred million people. That's math is where I'm getting
my numbers from. Literal fucking maths. Doesn't sound right, he said,
basically one third thirty thirty three. So if somebody on
the set has a butt plug in right now, I'm
looking at you, Jake, you want.
Speaker 2: To come look at my asshole. I think we do
need to inspect each other's assholes. You show me yours first.
Speaker 3: You don't want to go up there?
Speaker 2: Why is there a butt plug in it?
Speaker 1: I have crowns that makes him oh all thick smokes
screen from mister Peter. If there's one person here that
would need to plug their ass, yeah, you you have
a butt plug to plug your butt.
Speaker 3: It's not to plug the ass, it's for pleasure.
Speaker 1: Well you don't have a functional butt plug?
Speaker 2: People?
Speaker 1: Can you know? Work and pleasure can be well.
Speaker 3: Rob already bought the foxtail version.
Speaker 1: You should have a little foxed just shake it around.
Courtney's just really into fox play. That's why you're married.
You the name kind of you'd be surprised. Uh, anyway,
you guess the matching foxtails.
Speaker 2: Don't worry about that, Okay, don't worry about our fox play.
I actually we do Sonic the Hedgehog place put three
foxtails in me tails. That's funny, man. I bet she
likes knuckles too, get it? Yeah, because fists who is knuckles?
Speaker 1: And I don't know?
Speaker 2: Actually also, actually tails has two tails. I'm sorry, I've
been doing it wrong. I'm gonna just scream at Courtney
for making me.
Speaker 1: Push freaking me canonically and correct. Yeah, it's only two.
I'm only supposed to have two of these foxtail butt
plugs in my asshole. Which one was the guy from
uh Westworld and sex Drive?
Speaker 2: What's his name? He was in the Sonic movie? Oh,
James Marston.
Speaker 1: Yeah, James Marrison is in it too. I know I'll
never see it. I know, and I only know that
because he's injury duty talking about it. Oh yeah, yeah,
I've heard about that show. It's supposed to be good,
but I don't want to talk about that. Lets me talk.
Speaker 2: About the butts blowing smoke up your asshole. God damn it.
Speaker 1: So your favorite thing.
Speaker 2: Tobacco's medicinal use is nothing new. Native Americans used it
to treat in sect bites, fevers, burns, and uh, extremely counterintuitively, asthma.
Speaker 1: Yeah, seems like it didn't wouldn't work. It could clean
up the asthma just gives you COPD instead. I guess. Yeah,
uh this apparently sometimes I don't. It doesn't say what
they did it for, because like insect bites, I think
it was they would put the tobacco on Yeah, like
a balve.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, burns. I imagine the same way.
I don't know what the asthma was, probably smoke fever
that might have been smoked to but anyway, they don't
say specifically what they blew smoke up assholes for, but
they did blow smoke up assholes.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 2: And this once tobacco made its way to the New
World thanks to uh, Sir Walter Raleigh and his hot
wife Pocahontas who he cucked John Smith from or whatever
friend of the show I suppose in a way front
of the show John's Yeah, tobacco became big, and you
know Europe and uh, soon after uh, the use of
tobacco as medicine came big in Europe.
Speaker 1: I want to know what it was like for the
first white dude, just white dude, like you know, like
you and me type dude, just take a big old
drag of Native American pure tobacco.
Speaker 2: And they probably inhale it right. I mean it gets you,
like insta buzz.
Speaker 1: Your buddy put pack in his first lip. It's seventh
or eighth grade, accidentally swallowing, getting sick, being lightheaded, having
to lay on the ground, Like I need more of
that please. I just want to see, like what a
forty year old looks like when they first tried tobacco,
Like right, like whoo whoo.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And now, granted these people a lot, I guarantee
you the first people to try tobacco largely uh if
they were you know, colonists in the in the New World,
violent drunks. Yeah, they had a high tolerance for poison
to an extent. Different poison certainly, but I'm just saying
I think they're used to being fucked up.
Speaker 1: Oh totally. But like, think about it. These people were
drinking for so long without any sort of nicotine. Oh
my god, can you imagine the first time you drink
and then smoke. Oh, like like the Indians, we're not
doing that either. Didn't really have alcohol, Yeah, I don't
think maybe the maybe the Mayans and aspects did, but
North American Indians really didn't.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Once again another great invention, drinking and smoking brought to
you by white people.
Speaker 2: Little butter and jelly baby. Yeah no, first off, no, no, no,
that is culture is combining. That is cultures combining. Right,
It's like tex mex. Yeah, but poison the best kind,
the funnest. Ironically, both give you diarrheas, so they can. Yeah.
So eventually this came to Europe, and in Europe they
were like, what can we use tobacco to cure? You
know what ailment? Can we use this tobacco smoke and
specifically the tobacco enema, which we have learned from the
Native Americans to cure? What could a tobacco enema cure?
And then they thought, I know what it can cure.
Be in a bitch kind of drowning.
Speaker 1: Like the chull someone out of the river. Blow smoke
up is as quick it'll get yes, yeah, yeah, the
smoke will clear out the water from the lung. Oh
my god, is this where the term blows. I'm not
just blowing smoke up your ass.
Speaker 2: So I couldn't actually find if a was connected.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, The answer is yes, probably because it
doesn't actually do anything.
Speaker 2: It's not right actually good for you, Like you think
you're helping me, but you're just blowing smoke up my ass.
That's probably where it comes from.
Speaker 1: Has so um.
Speaker 2: Essentially what happened is, uh, they'd been using tobacco enemas
for revival, including drowning rival for a while, but English
doctors William Hawes and Thomas Cogan.
Speaker 1: They kind of really really mainstreamed the idea to turn
assholes into chimneys in seventeen seventy four. What they founded
this is this is so funny. They founded the Institution
for Affording Immediate Relief to Persons apparently dead from drowning.
Wait that's the name of the institute.
Speaker 2: Yes, and it went on to later be the Royal
Humane Society, which still exists today so and is run
by King Charles the third.
Speaker 1: Royal He means Society has its founding and people researching
blowing smoke up your ass not researching it, doing it.
Doing is research? Yeah, yeah, fair enough. Yeah.
Speaker 2: The Royal Humanciety Day, which still exists at awards doctors.
You know who got an award from the Royal Humane Society,
Ram Stoker for Jacula.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: But the Royal Anxiety to Day exists and it awards doctors.
It's a big medical uh charity essentially, it's run by
the King, formerly the Queen, now the King and it
started literally with these two doctors founding it to research
blowing smoke up people's assholes. That's how one of the
most important medical charities in the United Kingdom started. That's fantastic,
that's how everything should start.
Speaker 1: Let's go back and see we should actually do an
episode where how did every charity that currently exist get
their start? Right? Mothers Against Drunk Driving was actually originally
an anti temperance society. It was, Oh really, I don't
know if it was. I don't know if they're a
modern anti or like not anti te whatever it is.
Speaker 2: The the woman.
Speaker 1: That started actually murdered somebody with her vehicle. Yeah, yeah,
that's what it was. She It was kind of like
she did though, Like you're not joking, right, because she
did do that. One of the people, one of the
high up people in MAD I think, killed someone while
drunk driving. They're a temperance society.
Speaker 2: MAD founder d UI, the Irving Texas Place organization. Oh
she had dewey. Yeah, hold on, she had dewey. Dude,
I don't know what I'm looking for here, who cares?
But yeah, so it got founded blown smoke up assholes,
and to prove that this would work, they offered to
pay four guineas about one hundred and sixty dollars a
day to anyone who successfully brought a drowning victim back
to life by using a tobacco smoke enema.
Speaker 1: So you tell me if I bring someone to life
with the tobacco smoke enema, I get four Italians to
do whatever I want.
Speaker 2: Yes, ywesome, four guineas yeah sick. In order to test
the idea that tobacco smoke animals could cure drowning, the
volunteers volunteers. Either people were gonna get paid or people
who already working for Society were basically patrolling the Thames
River in London that people all fell into all the time,
apparently waiting and ready to blast smoke up the assholes
of anyone pulled from the river.
Speaker 1: Doesn't matter how long, like they've just been in the
river for four months, try it, yeah, try Or the
guy just like slips falls, not even close to drowning,
just like above the neck, totally fine. It's like no,
I'm quite okay, No you need smoke. You gotta pin
him down, pull his pants down, so we're gonna shove
this up his ass. Uh.
Speaker 2: So, half drowned, soaking people were pulled from the Thames,
barely alive ed were immediately seized upon by these volunteers
like they're just like pulled from the river, soaking wet,
cold as fuck like, and the volunteers.
Speaker 1: Are just like turn them over. Rip they literally rip
their pants off, put a tube into their asshole, and
then to pipe inhale from the pipe, put the other
side of the tube in their mouth and start blowing
smoke through the tube up into these dudes assholes. It's
gonna make a joke that he just had this guy
Vinnie ripping heaters blowing smoke. That's what they were doing,
literally doing that. That's so funny, Like you think there
would be some other method for it, but no, it's
just you gotta get This is how it started.
Speaker 2: It's secondhand smoke in your butt.
Speaker 1: And this is what it looks like. Okay, here's a
picture time. This is such a fancy man. That's also
like the tobacco smoke edema. That that person that's laying
down very like artists drying. Oh yeah, very like pleasant
looking body.
Speaker 2: This is the device. Ah, yes, of course, the ass tube.
They asked, Yeah, this is the device.
Speaker 1: Kind of like a butt hookah. Really it's way too long.
That's a butt hookah.
Speaker 3: They're like, yeah, we're not gonna get anywhere near that ass.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we don't want to do that.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna pop this in and run about ten yards
behind you, sir. So they believed that the backo smoke
and ema did two things for the drowning victim. It
warmed the drowned person and essentially back then they kind
of believe that, like, you know, cold equals dead, warm,
warm equals alive. Sure, so you want to warm the
person up. Second, it stimulated respiration.
Speaker 1: Huh. That's why they believed. Well, okay, hear me out it.
Whenever I'm really cold and outside of a bar, I
kind of always do want a little cigarette because I
feel like it would make me warmer. You probably think
it does, yeah, just like you think like whiskey's making
you warmer when it actually makes you colder. Yeah, because
you're you're constricting. Yeah you feel warmer though, Yeah, you
feel warmer. But yeah, so like you're constricting all those
blood vessels and then maybe you're rapidizing heart rate. It
makes you breathe more. So I could see the logic there,
even if it's not true. Yeah, and if all that
didn't work, you know, then they would try doing.
Speaker 2: Artificial respiration like a proto CPR.
Speaker 1: So wait before we try anything, before we try the
mouth and putting air in the mouth, let blow smoke
up the asshole. This probably caused deaths to the delay.
I like to think there's a middle step where it's like,
all right, the smoke didn't work packetin like they just
stuff a big old chob.
Speaker 2: Funny if they just worked like around holes up. So
it's like first the asshole, you're blowing smoke, and like,
all right, smoke didn't work in the asshole. H let's
put warm water into.
Speaker 1: The pea hole.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, warm water in the pea hole didn't work. Let's,
I guess blow warm air into the mouth hole.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's just how it happens. Yeah, he's really really
thriving around or riving around on the ground after the
warm water in the pea hole. Though, So my just.
Speaker 2: Might have worked on some people because they were like
kinda out of it and then something got jammed up
their asshole, and then smoke got blown up their asshole,
and they were essentially like imagine if you someone was
it's like a smelling salt for your asshole, or like
there's someone passed out unconscious.
Speaker 1: If you stab them in the leg. They might wake up.
Mm hmm yeah, no totally. I mean you're boofing nicotine
like it would get you buzzed.
Speaker 3: No, No, when you go home and your wife's sleep.
Speaker 1: See what happens that cigar you didn't get to fully
smoke the other day, Rob, and you can smoke it
at all, shove it up. Oh. I was gonna say
it for my kid, but I was thinking Rob would
try it, like you know, do your own research.
Speaker 2: What if it was just like what if we just
did like a flat liner's thing, like a movie where
we going where we killed, where we kill ourselves, we
make ourselves medically dead. But then instead of using defibrillators, all.
Speaker 1: Right now, light the fucking parliament, Yeah, and get the
two get the tube like you're just yeah, you just have.
Speaker 2: Like five cigarettes in your mouth that wants.
Speaker 1: You go first. Yeah, you you can flat line first. Okay,
I believe in the So it's fine, it's medicine, Dan,
it works for me.
Speaker 2: By the way, the reason that they didn't they weren't
more into the mouth to mouth resuscitation is because prominent
British doctor William Hunter called it vulgar gay.
Speaker 1: He called it gay. It's vulgar. Mouth to mouth is vulgar.
Put a tube in his butt and blows smoking it, right,
that is insane.
Speaker 2: Right, kissing of like kind of kissing another dude, vulgar,
gay as fuck. So just shove something up his ass
and then blow stuff into it.
Speaker 1: That's just funny, well kind of. It's hilarious. Objectively, no
one can say that's not funny. It's oh, it's hilarious.
It's objectively funny.
Speaker 2: So here's an account of one such tobacco smoke enema
from rescuer Giuseppe Borgie, Oh Jesus Christ, on a night
in December seventeen seventy one.
Speaker 1: Giuseppe is a lot of real people. Unfortunately, this was
popular all over Europe, by the way, just all over Europe.
Speaker 2: The name Giuseppe.
Speaker 1: We both really GISEPPI No, probably Italy and maybe like
a little bit of Switzerland and Croatia or something like
that of Corsica. Perhaps I assisted the person of Francisco Bond,
an inhabitant of the parish of San Pantalon, who had
been pulled out of the Canal of San Silvestro. Everything
is fucking sand I swear to God half alive and
foaming at the mouth.
Speaker 2: He was transferred to the bakery of Madonetta.
Speaker 1: So they just took him to a bakery when he
was dying. I guess is this for like you know,
like the haircut guy would also do leashes.
Speaker 2: Basically in the parish of San Polo, another fucking sand
where I put into practice all of the means prescribed
by the most excellent health magistry, that is to say,
the introduction of tobacco smoke into the anus, the insuffilation
of lungs with air massage, and after the repetition of
these aids started a little bit of recover. So I
carried out blood letting, which improved things further further. So essentially,
they found a drowned person foaming at the mouth, they
brought him to a bakery to smell of croissants. Just
gets people alive, you know.
Speaker 1: They jammed a tube up the person's ass, started blowing
smoke into it while massaging their body, and then once
they started to come to, they cut them open to
bleed them out.
Speaker 2: That actually, what if that was the best hangover cure?
Speaker 1: Like you just get yeah, like a night on the town,
you get a little tobacco, smoke in your butt, get
a little massage, bleed a little.
Speaker 3: Yeah, really just kind of be like a sap from
the tree.
Speaker 2: Just does that make a tree feel better taking its sap?
Get like a little maple tap and uh oh, maple
trees love that ship.
Speaker 1: What if they do? What if it's like it's getting off.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like sounding but for a maple tree.
Speaker 1: Out just ooze me baby? Is that is it?
Speaker 2: Tree?
Speaker 1: Com is the tree coming? Yeah? It's like, you know,
if a mother can't breastfeed. What if trees they don't?
What if trees don't do like what's that Mark Wahlberg
movie m Night Shovel on the opening the happening? Yes,
what if it's what if they don't kill us?
Speaker 2: What if they don't do the happening because they think
it's really funny that we dump their g's on our pancakes.
Speaker 1: Dude, these guys are freaks.
Speaker 2: Oh, they don't want to kill us because they just
get such a kick out of watching us dump their
their loads on our breakfast.
Speaker 1: And when we're eating, it's like it's like for children,
Like we're like, yeah, like these guys are sick.
Speaker 2: Speaking of which, my dog's been eating a lot of
my cum lately.
Speaker 1: Fuck, where's the why do you want to like collaborate
unpacked expand on that? Yeah, sure sure, Uh this is
probably a good time to bring this up. We're talking
about loads and the wrong people eating them. Uh yeah.
So I jerk off in the shower every morning usually, right, Yeah,
it's a little you know, hard reset, good start to
the morning. Yeah, a couple for one of the amen's.
You know, it's for your prostate health. And uh, I
don't have my master bathroom now. It doesn't have like
a shower bath combo. It's a dope ass walk in
You've seen it.
Speaker 2: It's a nice shower. It's a nice walk in shower,
and it's on ground level or whatever.
Speaker 1: And you don't close the door, well does it?
Speaker 2: I do close the door when I'm in there showering.
The problem is, and I roughly stand in the same
place every day when I jerk off and come on
the ground.
Speaker 1: Um, just do it over the drain like a civilized
human being.
Speaker 2: It gets swept up, see like right there, gets swept
up in the water.
Speaker 3: Sorry, continue, Yeah, you gotta go to the drain and
then stomp it down.
Speaker 2: Like spaghetti strain it you know, coming spaghetti. Oh, you
press it through, it's fucking it gets swept up, but
the water it's gone. Oh I'm sorry, I'm thinking of
when you.
Speaker 1: In your cum. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So what's been happening is we noticed that Leo has
gone into the shower and he's licking this one spot
all the time. And Corny's like, why does he blave
on the spot? And then I finally see the spot
he's looking and I was like.
Speaker 1: Oh, it could be any h I was like, Babe,
I hate to tell you this, but that's what if
Courtney's doing the same things roughly where the spot too.
Both the dogs do like to.
Speaker 2: Look at her underwear or used underwear a lot, which
is disgusting him and going on for years.
Speaker 1: But that's very a very kind of normal, maybe because
it's you. This is the hot cot, you get on
the Patreo, you dumping loads in her, you know, maybe
some residue on the underwear. Yeah, so they've been looking
to your coum for long.
Speaker 2: That's like a bourbon to them.
Speaker 1: That's like it's courty aged Yeah in a barrel.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I got it should be noted her dad subscribes
this patriot.
Speaker 3: What are the odds, sorry, man, that he listens to everything?
Speaker 1: Does God? I forget about that.
Speaker 2: But yeah, Leo has just been every day that we
leave the bath door open, We're like, where's Leo? And
then we go in and we just find him slurping
at that spot.
Speaker 1: Leo, I, that's my favorite. Like just to go into
fucking town.
Speaker 3: What if that's keeping your dogs alive?
Speaker 2: Though?
Speaker 1: Get there? He's fourteen. I think he just gets like younger.
It's not helping his hips. I guess I need to
come more. I don't know.
Speaker 3: Just go directly to the source.
Speaker 1: You know what. Fuck, cut out the middleman. That is
the shower floor. It's the time to cut out the
middle man. Rough Listen, Sharks, I'm not lying to you.
If Courtney somehow found out that me jerking off directly
into Leo's mouth would extend his life twenty years before,
she'd milk you. Yeah, into that mount, no questions that
a little pup light. Oh yeah, fuck smoke animals. Let's
talk about this for a half hour. Yeah, I'm glad
I brought that. I didn't get that off my chest.
I was tired of only my family knowing. You know, well,
it sounds like it's not really on your chest, it's
more on the floor of the bath. You're right. Yeah,
so Courtney knew well. I told her after. She was like,
Leo keeps licking this one spot and I was like,
what's uh, yeah, that's that's my spot, my spot, it's mine.
Oh God, the things we learn about each other. Of course, personally,
I've learned so much about you and my fucking ten minutes.
Christ I mean, you said the fouls.
Speaker 2: Well both of you said anything gross, so that I did. Courtney,
he's rhypothetical sparal aging my fucking chiz for the dogs.
Speaker 1: Uh well, she did barrel age my chiz, but it
turned into two children for now. True. We just finally
eating a child.
Speaker 2: He's like, I know what it tastes like before, let
me taste it after it's cooked.
Speaker 1: This is aged. Yeah, another let's just get back to this.
Speaker 2: And here's another story from seventeen forty six of a
revival of a person with the smoke anema who had drowned.
A man's wife was pulled from the water apparently dead
amid much conflicting advice.
Speaker 1: So she was pulled and people were like, try this,
try that. Put a grape in the mouth, you know
what I mean. I mean trying poor oil in her ears.
I feel like before there was really standardized medicine, there's
probably a lot of that and cross Oh my gosh,
every fucking mother's everyone chair quarterbacking the corpse.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so everyone's yelling shit, take a shirt up. And
she's laying.
Speaker 1: There dead, pulled from the River Thames, and a sailor
walks by and he's smoking a pipe and he sees
the distressed husband and he's like popeye, you know, like.
Speaker 2: Shove this up her ass.
Speaker 1: The pipe. Yeah, He's like, showed up her ass and
then blow on it. Okay, that'll work. Did it well?
First a by the way, the husband was like, okay,
you got it, sailor sure.
Speaker 2: I feel like a sailor in any time would just
be like, she's dead. Hey, he's crying, ha hey, put
the supper ass, that'll work.
Speaker 1: He's just so drunk, yeah, just impossibly drunk.
Speaker 2: But by the way, a sailor would be someone you
might listen to about drowning too, so he's probably like, Okay,
well you're gonna sailor sure, So he.
Speaker 1: Put the pipe.
Speaker 2: He shoved the pipe up his wife's ass in front
of this fucking crowd of people offering advice, started blowing
the smoke into her ass. The sailor said blow hard,
and he did, uh, and miraculously the woman was revived. Well,
it's not stupid if it works.
Speaker 1: I mean again, I'm telling I kind of think that
the reason at resustiated people is just if you get
just something jammed up your ass, you're gonna you're gonna
wake up. Yeah, what do you think, Dan, I think
people sleep through a lot.
Speaker 2: They do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it depends what kind of sleeper you are, I guess, yeah,
heavy sleeper, like sleeper.
Speaker 2: I'm a heavy sleeper.
Speaker 1: But I feel like.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I've had a colonoscopy, so they show something on my mask.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, you're medically induced down.
Speaker 2: I suppose being unconscious from drowning is borderline. Yeah, pretty
much the same thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Uh.
Speaker 2: In seventeen sixty seven, it's actually how they did surgery
back then.
Speaker 3: They would drown you. That was their anesthesia.
Speaker 1: It's not the worst idea. It's better than having your
arm sot off alive. Like, here's drinking this whiskey. Here's
a towel.
Speaker 2: I mean I would absolutely, but you would still wake
up probably. What I absolutely like, can I just get
as drunk as humanly possible before we do this?
Speaker 1: I mean, I imagine there's some point where it's like, no,
you'll bleed out.
Speaker 2: Put a turnique on it. You're fine. You have to
put a trinket on it anyway, I mean, yeah, cutting
an arm off.
Speaker 3: What do you think this is a tattoo? Can you
not be too drunk for tattoos? You can be very
drunk for a tattoo.
Speaker 2: I was about to say, is that just like a
consent tattoos?
Speaker 3: No, No, it's a you'll bleed all over the ink thing.
Speaker 2: Oh and that's just unsanitary.
Speaker 3: Or also fuck up the tattoo.
Speaker 1: Oh it'll be worth okay.
Speaker 2: In seventeen sixty seven, the Society for Recovery of Drowned
Persons was founded in Amsterdam, and by eighteen oh two,
with the tobacco smoke up the asshole, they had resuscitated
nine hundred and ninety victims of drowning.
Speaker 1: Holy shit, that's a lot of people. Yeah, that's like
a miracle cure for drowning, that's what they thought.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so people became so convinced that tobacco smoke animas
cured drowning that kits started being stored everywhere, like first
aid kits or defibrillators at the airport. I was about
to say, they probably had them on boats with the
life present. They had them on boats. They had them
at points all around the river in London. These kids,
they were in churches, pharmacies, they were at like literal
just like stations at the tank along the chains. Yeah,
tobacco literally tobacco, a pipe, the tube, something to fuck light.
Speaker 1: It would later they later bellows, but initially tubes and
stuff like that. Wow, I did not know the weird
origins of that. And that's a weird thing already, the
billows part. But like God, it was mouth it was
mouth first for a while for a while. Yeah. And
you were encouraged by the way after you were resuscitated
to tip the person thanks for the tip your rescue. Yeah,
tip your tipper, you know, like just the tip.
Speaker 2: Well I think you a little get a little in there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, I'd tip the guy that saved my life,
regardless of how Yeah.
Speaker 2: But would you if he gave you CPR? Would you
as a joke, be like, okay.
Speaker 1: Like shove it up my ass?
Speaker 2: Yeah, why aren't you blowing smoke up my ass? Why
don't you start with that? Why don't you have to
make a weird his mouth thing? Gay boy a funny
in a movie will never make a funny scene. It's
just like you brought someone from the seventh like you
brought like Benjamin Angle into the present. Because this is
Benman Franklin times and like you pull like someone some
like kids is like drowning at the pool and Ben
Franklin just pulls him out, lights of pipe and starts
blowing smoke into his asshole. They call him a groomer.
I think you've skipped grooming at that point. I guess
you are just a predator.
Speaker 1: That's just a weird kink too, is like the foreplay,
You're at that point, you're just once you're getting in
the child's asshole. Yeah, that's pretty much. Yeah, you skip
the grooming. It makes you wonder, like it's probably like
carrying cigarettes was probably.
Speaker 2: Like a good call, not cigarettes, but like.
Speaker 1: Bearing pipe tobacco. Yeah, but carrying tobacco is like a
kind of like a public service thing too.
Speaker 2: It's like be prepared. You know, you never know when
someone was choking.
Speaker 1: It'd be funny if someone was choking to death and
they were just.
Speaker 3: Like shoving tobacco up.
Speaker 2: They're like like up there, fucking asshole.
Speaker 1: The guy just dies, yeah, no, and then somebody it's like,
that's ah, you do what? You shove your dick down
their throat? Idiot water smoke up ass solid food, dick
and throat. It'd be funny.
Speaker 2: It'd be funny if the dick and throat worked, only
because they're like quick John long penis come over here.
Speaker 3: And dislodged the item in the back of the road.
Speaker 1: You got face fucked to life.
Speaker 2: That to death to life.
Speaker 1: It's probably on a porn hub search somewhere.
Speaker 3: It's probably happened once.
Speaker 1: Yeah on Earth, absolutely, Are you kidding me the amount
of the sample size we have at this point.
Speaker 2: Everything's happened once.
Speaker 1: Everything.
Speaker 3: Would you shove your dick in your homie's mouth to
save his life?
Speaker 2: Sure? I just said I would be forced to do
it to save my dog's life, so yeah, I would voluntarily.
Speaker 1: Do it, so.
Speaker 3: Right, So yeah, so yes, yes, how good of a homie.
Speaker 1: You know what if I knew it was going to
save anyone's life, I'd do it.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: But who you know who you're not shoving your dick
in their mouth to save them?
Speaker 1: People?
Speaker 2: Drowning child.
Speaker 1: Okay, hear me out. Okay, actually don't quite. A giant
portion of the population is a child choking on a
handful of skittles, right. You can save their life by
unlading it. Only and the only way you do is
unladging it with your dick. But only I know that. Yeah,
that's the problem. Yeah, only you know it, Like the
whole room doesn't know. Well, he had to, he knew
that would happen.
Speaker 2: It's like, trust me, only you know it, and no
one even knows, Like.
Speaker 1: So no one knows me. Yeah, and only I know that.
And you're in a very crowded spot. It's like an airport.
It's basically, would you would you go to.
Speaker 2: Jail for decades and be a sex offender for the
rest of your life to save a child's life?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: Fuck it, I think that kid's dying.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, oh absolutely not. Yeah, okay, I have self
preservation first, baby. Yeah, you always put your mask on
before you shove your.
Speaker 2: Dick down someone's throat.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah.
Speaker 2: So one of the first examples ever of a tobacco
eima being used to bring someone back to life in
Europe is that of Anne Green. That is the fun story,
A little bit of an aside, not to announce it
like Jake, but I will anyway.
Speaker 1: So this is just I.
Speaker 2: This honestly could have almost been its entire own episode,
but not quite. But it's fun someone to say it anyway.
Speaker 1: Green was a maid in the house of Sir Thomas
Reid in sixteen fifty.
Speaker 2: She was when she was twenty two. She was seduced
by Reid's sixteen year old grandson and got pregnant.
Speaker 1: Damn kids, got game, I.
Speaker 2: Know, right. The thing is, though she didn't realize she
was pregnant. And the other thing is is that after
seventeen weeks, she miscarried and pushed the feetus out in
the miss carriage. Obviously, this freaked your the fuck out.
She tried to get rid of the dead fetus, but
because she you know or not, but she tried to
get rid of the dead fetus because she was afraid
of getting in trouble for any number of things. You know,
fucking a noble person. When she was just commoner and
or also fucking ot a wedlock, and then obviously, presumably
she was afraid of getting in trouble for what she
ultimately did get in trouble for, which is infanticide or
being accused of in fanticide. So the remains of the
fetus were, however, despite her best attempts, discovered, and she
was arrested.
Speaker 1: She was tried.
Speaker 2: She was prosecuted by Sir Thomas Reid, the person she
was the maid for. Oh so the the grandfather of
the person had sex with.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: At the trial, a midwife testified, a literal expert on
babies and thing at the time, and she testified that
there was no way a fetus at that stage of
development could have been born alive, and thus no way Anne.
Speaker 1: Could have killed it. It was just two. It was
not viable, right.
Speaker 2: Ann's friends and co workers also testified that as far
as they could tell from her temperament or humor or whatever,
that she hadn't been pregnant for very long. Right she was,
She had started experiencing things after like a month or whatever.
So obviously Anne was found guilty because fuck her. Yeah,
of course you fucked my grandkid.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So despite literal expert testimony.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that there's no way she could have killed that
infant because there's no way that had been covering for women. Yeah,
what a shitty world, witch is be lying.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's nice to finally see them support their own though.
Speaker 2: Finally someone's in your corner.
Speaker 1: It doesn't happen very often, especially now what women tear
each other down.
Speaker 2: I know all you need to do to get a
group of mothers to immediately hate each other is ask
them to give their opinions on breastfeeding.
Speaker 3: Oh my, and drop the grenade and walk away.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Were you at that fucking New Year's Eve or New
Year's Day? Pf Chin's lunch we went to when we
like when I first moved out here where breastfeeding came up.
There was a group of us. There were three women
at that table and it got weird. Who what, Uh, I'll.
Speaker 2: Tell you off there it was nuts.
Speaker 1: Is there anyone we worked with?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Two?
Speaker 1: What were they like? Breastfeed only? Uh that's the wrong opinion. Uh,
it's whatever's right for you. But like, no, it was
one person that very sane opinion. One did not. Yeah,
but anyway, I'll tell you it is literally all that
matters is fed as best feed them, feed them, feed
the kid, feed them. That is all that matters.
Speaker 2: But dude, like literally, there are there are chicks that
will be like, if you're not breastfeeding, if you're not
feeding from your breast, you might as well just throw
your baby in the river.
Speaker 1: You might as well like just get a lawyer now,
because they're gonna be a serial killer. Yeah, it's fucking
and just make sure. And it's not even that is
of all the things that is not a.
Speaker 2: Patriarchy induced, male induced competitive thing. It's like case women
that should be like, yeah, do whatever you need to
do for your baby, or just you throw that granada
there and it just turns into a nightmare.
Speaker 1: Or women that think like women that have sea sections
aren't real mothers. It's like, are you fucking kidding? That's
but that's at least like niche like this will turn
normal women fucking crazy.
Speaker 2: Women thought were normal. It's crazy anyway. Anne was sound guilty.
She was hanged at Oxford Castle on December fourteenth, teen
fifty at Anne's own request. Two things happened. First, four
or five of her friends swung the rope. I think
more people swinging the rope, gets it done quicker? Oh true?
Speaker 1: And also she asked the soldier.
Speaker 2: She turned to a soldier at the castle or whatever
who was staying next to her for the hanging.
Speaker 1: She was like, Hey, will you do me a favor?
I just I don't want to suffer. I don't want
this last long.
Speaker 2: So will you just take your musket, the butt of
your musket and just smash my fucking face in, damn
so that I don't have to just sit here choking, like,
just smash, bash my fucking brains in. And the soldier
was like, oh, sure, no problem, Yeah, you got it,
And so he bashed her fucking head in.
Speaker 1: That's nice. Somebody actually asked, yeah, you know, I've been
with I was gonna do it anyway. Another question for you,
would you be on the rope for your homie? If
they asked, I want to see him struggle.
Speaker 2: It's like, I'm not lifting you up, grind until you die.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's not what we're about, bro.
Speaker 2: No, but I won't tear you down either, won't. I
won't cut you down. Never tear your homie down.
Speaker 1: Yeah, not even if he's hanging from the gallows.
Speaker 2: Nope.
Speaker 1: Yeah, especially Yeah, like.
Speaker 3: A cable machine that he did himself.
Speaker 2: Just think about think about how strong that he'll be
if he lives.
Speaker 1: Dude, his neck game be crazy, you know.
Speaker 2: Deprive him of that, make him you make him weak.
Speaker 1: Would never know she'd have done those little necklifts in
the gyms. You would have died from this rope. Yep.
After half an hour, everyone was pretty sure she was dead. However,
so after a half an hour of smashing her face
and hanging her that was the fast way, I guess. Wow,
they were like, all right, we got her.
Speaker 2: So she was then given to the Oxford physicians William
Petty and Thomas Willis for dissection because it was fine
to dissect pieces of ship. Basically, yeah, like she had
done something, allegedly done something horrible, so it's fine to
you don't diet.
Speaker 1: Perfectly innocent woman, yes, but yeah, yeah, right you don't.
You can dissect criminals, right, you.
Speaker 2: Can't dissect like good chushions whatever. But when the physicians
opened Green's coffin the next day to dissect her, they
realized she still had a pulse and was slightly breathing.
Speaker 1: Oh, so they blew smoke up her us.
Speaker 2: Patty and Willis turned to their two Oxford colleagues, who
cares what their names are. The group of physicians tried
several remedies to revive Green. They poured hot cordial down
her throat, which is like kind of booze.
Speaker 1: Which I'm sure her throat at this point is just
the open hole at the end of her head. Yep.
They rubbed her limbs and again bashed in.
Speaker 2: Yeah they yeah, her bashing had They rubbed her limbs
and extremities. Of course, they did some blame letting, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Let her out a little bit more. Uh.
Speaker 2: They put poultice on her breasts. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think they just wanted They're doing too many things.
You're never gonna know what worked.
Speaker 2: I know, I know, right even a minute they you know,
I think they just wanted to feel those titties.
Speaker 1: And of course they jammed a tube upper asshole and
now she's immortal and blue tobacco smoke up it. Oh
my god. Uh.
Speaker 2: The physicians then placed her in a warm bed with
another woman who continued to rub her and keep warm.
I think they're just jerking off the whole time.
Speaker 1: Personally, Hey Susette, Hey, hey, we got a little friend
for you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is just the worst. This is just the
worst fetish party you've ever been to.
Speaker 1: It's fur The doctors back then are weird, like four
dudes with the with the basically dead chick jamming a
tube of her ass like mud on her titties from
another woman in bed. They're just rubber. This is what
they're doing on Monday's episode when they go to that
fishing club at the South Fork Fish Club. Yeah, you
should make its just like Yeather doing weird sex stuff. Oh,
we should make uh ropats for South Work Fish Club. Okay, yeah,
work on it all the other tea ideas, right. Yeah.
After twelve to fourteen hours, she began to speak okay,
and she was eating solid food after four days. Within
one month, Green had fully recovered, though she had amnesia
about the execution. Uh what what what's the Yeah wait,
hold on, she's fine. Yep, she just didn't remember being executed.
So what's the legal situation here? Ah?
Speaker 2: She was pardoned because they thought God himself had saved her,
proving her innocence. And also they thought she was innocent
and God was exacting justice because Thomas Reid died three days.
Speaker 1: After her hanging like up trial by combat actually God
might have done that, of all the things that might
have been God.
Speaker 2: So to recap, this woman was hanged for half an
hour and had her fucking skull smashed in by a
giant musket. If you just go look up a musket
from sixteen fifty.
Speaker 3: Now, is this a life she wanted to live after though?
She all fucked up?
Speaker 2: Or she no, she got prettier. So the twenty two
year old eventually got married, had three children, and lived
a long and happy life until thirty two. She died
at the age of thirty one.
Speaker 1: That's a long one long life.
Speaker 3: Hell yeah, yeah, man, if you an extra nine years, yep.
Speaker 2: Bonus, you're a bliss. So despite the fact that this
definitely didn't cure a drown the fact we know now
that it definitely didn't.
Speaker 3: Cure drowned definitely know that.
Speaker 1: Wow, it sounds like it.
Speaker 3: There's a lot of things death hanging.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm sorry you said it cares a lot of things. Yeah, ah,
well that's what the people of Europe thought.
Speaker 2: They were like, dude, this cures drowning, and bitches that
were hung for thirty minutes and had the fucking skull smash.
Speaker 3: For thirty minutes. Yeah, that's so excessive.
Speaker 1: There's a guy. It's just she's swinging around. There's a
guy just like.
Speaker 3: That.
Speaker 1: That is an episode of television long like, Oh, you're
gonna watch an episode a monk. Yeah, and in the background,
there's gonna be a lady getting commercial breaks included. Yeah,
getting your head bashed. And for context, try this at home.
Put a belter on your neck and hang yourself for
thirty minutes and see if you live. Don't do that,
but also don't see the have your friend, well limited
liability friend, have a buddy in the head while you
do it. Yeah, that's with a baseball batch.
Speaker 2: That's your fucking headed like this chick might have been
wolverine to be quite out of it.
Speaker 1: That's me dog fucking legs already already good. That's how
you hobble a second run. I can't do that.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, slowly but surely so you're a slow wolverine.
Wolverine was surely, but he was not slowly.
Speaker 3: It was kind of slow. It depended on how catastrophic
the injury is.
Speaker 2: He got shot in the head by a bullet and
got up with in fire. Right, because it's a little yeah,
fair enough, that's slower. So the Europeans were essentially like, man,
if this cure is drowning, can it cure anything?
Speaker 3: And the answer is yes yes.
Speaker 2: They soon prescribed it for headaches, respiratory failure, cold hernias, lethargy,
and abdominal cramps, which the abdominal cramps you you blew
smoke up the asshole while also having them drink chicken broth.
Huh okay, get it from both sides. Yeah, and Eiffel
towered by medicine. Yes. Soon, tobacco smoke eemas were used
for treating typhoid fever and even cholera outbreaks during the
stage of collapse and death. The cholera outbreaks, however, a
bit of a hazardous line of work for the tobacco
smoke enema administrators.
Speaker 1: I was about to say, I don't think you want
your mouth on a tube connected to someone with cholera's asshole. No,
you do not. Isn't one of the problems with that,
like explosive diarrhea? Yes, it is. See where this is going?
What happened? So?
Speaker 3: Is this where the bills comes in just a human centipede?
Speaker 1: This is this is where the billows situation eventually became necessary,
but only trial and quite a bit of error, you know,
brought the billows. It's kind of like when you gotta
siphon some gas, right like, you gotta act like that.
Speaker 3: You gotta just you're gonna get a little in the mouth.
Speaker 1: You're gonna get some in your mouth. You gotta spit
it out. Just keep going, swallow it. Be a man.
Speaker 2: So the way it work yourself, the way this works again,
if you don't know what the tobacco thing is, you
light the pipe, you take a big fat fucking rip,
You put the tube in your mouth, and then you
blow it up, the tube into the asshole of the collar.
Speaker 1: Patient.
Speaker 3: But I've been to hookah bar.
Speaker 1: A tube.
Speaker 2: Unlike Dan at the sex club, does not go or
does go both ways? Oh Dan does not, he doesn't
didn't blow the Irish guy.
Speaker 1: I did not know this piece was dangerously close up.
Oh close, yeah, how close that's a visue. I don't
really want to relive.
Speaker 2: As close as that mic to your face.
Speaker 1: No, okay, not that close, but like as close as
uh here you I'll just where this can is so
tobacco am like your face sick?
Speaker 2: Weird?
Speaker 1: Huh and throbbing. By the way, it's pulsating um use
that sixty beats per minute.
Speaker 2: It's really athletic. So, like you said, Jake, the primary
symptom of cholera is diarrhea. Now, what you might not
know is that cholera in particular has a fun special
type of diarrhea.
Speaker 1: Oh I didn't know that. It's called rice water stool. Okay,
go ahead. Uh. Cholera diarrhea is sort of like.
Speaker 2: A bit viscous and milky white and filled with little
white chunks, much like water that rice.
Speaker 1: Has been boiled in. Why just that's the way the
disease fucked with your gut. Gross.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's gross.
Speaker 1: It makes me feel bad on my insights thinking about it.
Speaker 2: So if in the process of blowing smoke up the
tube that was inserted into the asshole of a man
or woman with cholera, with late stage cholera, the medic
maybe coughed or had to inhale because they needed to
breathe because their body was like breathe, you're full of smoke.
And then they accidentally inhaled while the tube was in
their mouth. They got a mouthful of hot, white diarrhea.
Speaker 1: Oh man, gross again. Pass you're doing this on your
little spot in the shower as well. A little white
diarrhea in all over the shower.
Speaker 2: That's what he calls just out of my tube, that's
what he calls his coum.
Speaker 1: Yeah, white diarrhea, and that's actually what he's looking at.
Speaker 2: It's actually funny because I jammed something up my ass
and then my tube is filled with hot white milk.
Speaker 1: And it splurts out everywhere. Yeah, I bet you really
wanted to do this one on the main Huh. Yeah,
this one could have never made the men. You know what,
this one either gets it.
Speaker 3: I'm thinking about pivoting.
Speaker 1: You're gonna switch them.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna release this on the main. You and you
have been uh, I've been.
Speaker 1: You've been bombed. I what you cared about the people?
You've been bomped? Okay, that's fine, I'm kidding. No, Jake's
still on the main. It came out Monday, did well
it will? The video came out Tuesday. By the way,
once you get a mouthful of cholera diarrhea, you now
have colera.
Speaker 2: You instantly get colerad.
Speaker 1: Yeah and so, and also you no longer want to
eat food. Ever again, ever again. So it's like ozempic.
Speaker 2: Well, honestly, the plus side of this is once you
get a mouthful of hot white shit full of rice chunks,
well ricey shit chunks.
Speaker 1: Uh, you want to die anyway?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so the cholerad is a welcome It's like I
wish it was a bullet job. Oh god, yeah, just
do it as fast as you get. Uh So a
lot of these tobacco smoke enema medics administrators ended up dying,
hence the need for the billows.
Speaker 1: Oh that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, no, I get it.
That's that's where why the transition happens. Seems like that
probably should have taken precedent before the mouth. I don't know,
like they probably had the technology to do it. Yeah,
billows already existed.
Speaker 3: Why were they like mouth first?
Speaker 2: Trial and error?
Speaker 1: Baby, Like you know why? You know why? All right,
it's getting a little closer to God or further it's
much further away. The practice fell out of favor when
in eighteen eleven it was discovered that nicotine was bad
for you.
Speaker 3: That's not true.
Speaker 1: I thought it didn't get discovered until like Thetropers Digest
nineteen fifty.
Speaker 2: No, no, they knew in eighteen eleven, really that it
fucked with your circulation and stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's so cool. It was so cool for sure. Yeah,
everyone probably heard them, was like, so nerd that lady
survived hanging and lived to thirty one. What do I
give a fuck about smoking?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's gonna eventually save me. It's just going in
the wrong end.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: However, you could still buy old used tobacco smoke anima
equipment and secondhand stores for years after that. So basically
tobacco smoke anema's it kind of became for a while
the type of thing in Europe, in England I think specifically,
where it's like it wasn't medically sound or supported, but
it's like old people were.
Speaker 4: Like, you don't need to take adviler day, will just
put a warm towel on your head, and and and
and and drink salt water, you know what I mean.
So like people were like, oh I've got some constipation,
come blow smoke up my ass.
Speaker 1: For decades after that, I can get us one for
eighty five bucks right now, do it?
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm actually serious.
Speaker 1: A tobacco smoke anima is it an actual like old one.
I don't know if this is the tobacco smoke anymore
or just an enema. Oh that might yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean you can blow smoke into it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what what is the tobacco smoke anima? Kid?
Speaker 2: But a tube?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's basically, yeah, it's a tube.
Speaker 2: It's any tube that would be like, you can get
a tobacco smoke anima at home depot and then and
then a gas station. Yeah, it's really a simple kid.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a back of fucking Winston's in a PBC pipe,
not a lot honest.
Speaker 2: Yeah, uh yeah, this is great though. So yeah, basically
the tobacco smoke anima, for decades after it fell out
of favor, was still what do you call it? Not
an old wives tale, old wives remedy, but what do.
Speaker 1: You call those things? It's a folk remedy, like remedy. Yeah,
I'm trying to think of what it is. I can't
right now, but yeah, yeah, like it's like the old
like it would be like ear candling. Now they're like
that shit doesn't do anything, but like people are like, no,
I swear it, I swear by it, swear by ear candling.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So yeah, that is the history of blowing smoke
up your ass, up your ass. Who's in the game.
Speaker 1: Abacco baby, oh big tobacco. Yeah, for sure, the American
product that pretty much put us on the map.
Speaker 2: It really did. I think, I really don't think the
English side of American colonies became totally via until there
was a cash crop and that was tobacy.
Speaker 1: Hoe back well, you had like furs and stuff like that.
Beaver furs really popular in Europe, but that was more
with the French than the English.
Speaker 2: I think with the English, tobacco.
Speaker 1: Was where it was at.
Speaker 2: But yeah, that is the history of tobacco smoke.
Speaker 1: Enemas side note on the featured products, like what you
may also like on this antique enema is a Travis
Barker Liquid Death collab box kit for the anniversary of
Enema of the State. It is a can of liquid
Death signed by Travis Barker and an enema to give
yourself a liquid death enema.
Speaker 2: Fuck yeah, Liquid Death future sponsor on this podcast. It's
it's six to eight hundred dollars.
Speaker 1: That's fucking awesome. It's hilarious. Liquid death is dope. So
Liquid Death is going to be a sponsor for us
starting June twenty sixth were you talking about now, essentially
the deal.
Speaker 2: We had a call with them the other day. Their
rep was super do whatever.
Speaker 1: Super cool.
Speaker 2: They're like, do whatever, talk about how you can mix
it with alcohol, We don't care. But this is this
is free, I know and whatever. I'm just telling these
people that like this is they like a little inside baseball,
and I'm they're saying like they were one of the
coolest sponsors we ever talked to. And by the way,
the whole deal is you get twenty five percent off
their merch. It won't launch I think until the six
twenty six episode comes out, so don't.
Speaker 1: Try it yet. But in general, they were like, we
just want you to tell people to go buy Liquid Death.
So if you want to support it, if you like
sparkling water, which I think most people do, kind.
Speaker 2: Of, don't buy it yet. Wait a few weeks.
Speaker 1: But I'm just saying liquid Death is. They're with us,
and they're dope.
Speaker 2: So it's still water too.
Speaker 1: Actually they just literally they do. I like kids of Water.
But anyway, they were like, yeah, well the whole the
whole just sounds like an ad, but yeah, no, they're great.
Speaker 2: The whole program is like, we just want you to
tell people to buy liquid Death, and that is dope
and makes me makes me just want to buy liquid Death.
Speaker 1: But I don't need you.
Speaker 2: Right now because I have a bunch of my garage.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they sent us.
Speaker 3: And you never get Oh yeah, where's our motherfucker?
Speaker 1: It's coming all right anyway, I am blown away by
this episode. I'm really glad you found this, and thanks
chat GPT for spitting rob the most rob thing he
could ever talk about it right. I was like, does
hold on a minute, due Christ when you really oh
tobacco and I'm just like, oh, Billow's how is he
going to do an episode of this? That is fucking nuts.
It's nuts.
Speaker 2: It's the collar of it, just swallowing hot white diarrhea.
Speaker 1: What I learned today, though, more than anything, is that
your dog eats your come. That's what I call it.
That is a wild revelation. Like I don't know if
I can ever look at you the same. H.
Speaker 2: What I'm excited for is you guys come over my
house and forget that Leo does that and let him
lick you. Oh.
Speaker 1: I'm like, boys, Leo's like my best friend. I know
he ever liked me, so that's good. Leo will find
me in a room and just sit near me. Yeah,
like he loves Jake.
Speaker 2: It's just like, what's up, dude. He's waiting for you
to come. He's like, dude, you're gonna bust a nut.
You bust a nut.
Speaker 1: Come on, man, just bust a nut. Boys, It's cool,
it's cool. I had a lot of laughs on this episode.
It feels good. Same yeah, same. Uh. Well that's all
I got.
Speaker 2: So for Jake Goman and damnit, Jester, I'm rob Fox.
Speaker 1: You just got soft served.