Speaker 1: Hey, the LA Talk fifteen eighty Yeah, we got jokes.
Speaker 1: We said. Our topic this morning is celibacy. So much
Speaker 1: to talk about this hour, and a lot of people
Speaker 1: are making the choice. And then on the other end
Speaker 1: of the spectrum, there's a group called in cells, which
Speaker 1: literally means involuntary celibate. We're being joined this morning by
Speaker 1: an American stand up comic. She's from New Orleans, USA.
Speaker 1: She's an actor, a singer, a writer, a host, and
Speaker 1: an entrepreneur. She's also a matchmaker now in her latest incarnation,
Speaker 1: Del Harrison. Welcome down and me.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me with in cells.
Speaker 2: Involuntarily cells. So ain't nobody getting with them? I mean
Speaker 2: I need more more information.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, you're not up on the in cell movement.
Speaker 1: In cells there's a lot of young men, mostly young men.
Speaker 1: I think they're maybe some women, but in cell refers
Speaker 1: to the there's a group of young men, mostly online
Speaker 1: that are involuntarily celibate, and they're angry because they feel
Speaker 1: many of them I'm paraphrasing, but this is pretty much
Speaker 1: how they are seen as people angry at women because
Speaker 1: they feel that women owe them uh sex, love, companionship,
Speaker 1: and they're not getting it. So some of them are
Speaker 1: pretty and pretty misogynistic if you will.
Speaker 2: Well, they got to turn off the rap music first
Speaker 2: of all, okay, because a lot of that is is TTR.
Speaker 2: How to just want somebody for one thing and now
Speaker 2: you mad with me because you know, and and then
Speaker 2: happy First of all, that group that's not just young
Speaker 2: men too, I mean means some old men out here
Speaker 2: involuntarily celibate too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, well, you know right exactly. They call it. Well,
Speaker 1: this is from CNN, they say. The Anti Defamation League,
Speaker 1: which works to address hate and extremism, defines in cells
Speaker 1: as heterosexual men who blame women in society for their
Speaker 1: lack of romantic success. They're described as being largely misogynistic,
Speaker 1: self pitying, and they are considered dangerous according to the
Speaker 1: Anti Defamation League because of their anti woman views.
Speaker 2: And that's what I'm talking about, guys. Hi, y'all anti women.
Speaker 2: But then y'all need to lay down with us at
Speaker 2: the same time. And you know what, a lot of
Speaker 2: men be like that too, like they hate us. They
Speaker 2: in the comments talk about y'all l this. Y'all need
Speaker 2: to put some clothes on. Y'all just in that, but
Speaker 2: then at the same time you still want to be
Speaker 2: hell by us, and brother, you can't have it both ways.
Speaker 2: You can't be out here mad with your mama deflecting
Speaker 2: on me, and then I'm supposed to go over here
Speaker 2: and lay down with you, you know, And then the other
Speaker 2: half of y'all want to take people on days three
Speaker 2: times for thirty dollars, and then I need to go
Speaker 2: back home. What you do or you mad? Like who
Speaker 2: taught y'all how to court? That's really the bottom line.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know how many black men are
Speaker 1: part of the insult culture. It's generally more like associated
Speaker 1: with Miles. You say, yes, there are black men. I
Speaker 1: think it's generally more associated with white yeah, heterosexual men.
Speaker 1: But I do see what you're talking about in the manisphere.
Speaker 1: I made the mistake one day because I saw someone
Speaker 1: that I know that I thought was a friend talking
Speaker 1: on the man and it turned out to be a
Speaker 1: manisphere chat where they were just spending the whole time
Speaker 1: disparaging black women for wearing weaves and makeup when we
Speaker 1: should be working on our inner beauty and our natural
Speaker 1: our natural beauty or whatever. And I said, why are
Speaker 1: you policing women's hair and makeup, and then I you know,
Speaker 1: they started attacking me. You know, well you're divorced, so
Speaker 1: you're a failure and you know all this stuff. So
Speaker 1: so that anti time. Yeah, that's right. So what I'm
Speaker 1: getting at is that anti woman culture that you're talking about,
Speaker 1: even though in cells aren't generally black, that anti woman,
Speaker 1: that misogynist sort of undertone does exist in the black
Speaker 1: online spaces. I think among men more in the manisphere
Speaker 1: kind of energy.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't even know any Like when you first
Speaker 2: said in cells, I thought of three hundred thousand black
Speaker 2: men i'd have met.
Speaker 1: Part so they don't know it.
Speaker 2: I mean, no, they don't know it. They haven't now,
Speaker 2: but they didn't created the whole group, like because I
Speaker 2: just met a man. I just went on one of
Speaker 2: these like group runs one of these days. I met
Speaker 2: a fifty five year old black man and we're just,
Speaker 2: you know, just talking to him about like, you know,
Speaker 2: every man wants a good woman, right, And he was like,
Speaker 2: I'm fifty five, what would I want a good woman for?
Speaker 2: I got five different women. Well I was like, well,
Speaker 2: I was like brother, you know, immediately I thought he
Speaker 2: was like one of these like high functional autistic man.
Speaker 2: Because I'm like, every man wants a good woman buy him.
Speaker 2: He was like, well, I got five. I got a
Speaker 2: woman for this, I got a woman for that. But
Speaker 2: I was like, brother, you're not sleeping with all five
Speaker 2: of that. I mean what I want? What I want
Speaker 2: to leave? So that man is involuntary. He's been involuntarily
Speaker 2: celibate so long. This man can't think straight. He can't wait.
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, if he's got five different men, how
Speaker 1: is I mean women? How is he celibate?
Speaker 2: He because ain't nobody sleeping with no woman and sleeping
Speaker 2: with that retarded mindset? You know what I'm saying, Like
Speaker 2: this man, I mean I wish.
Speaker 1: They might be, but they might be. I mean there
Speaker 1: are there there are people that have a scarcity mentality
Speaker 1: that think that there aren't enough men, or people that
Speaker 1: think there aren't enough women, or that you know that
Speaker 1: they they might he might Is he rich?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: He mean is he hots? No? I'm talking about the
Speaker 2: rig hot or brilliant. Look he had to he had to,
Speaker 2: you know, got out of high school, started working at
Speaker 2: the trash truck company, got demoted from driving back to Janada.
Speaker 2: You know, what I'm saying and been out here with
Speaker 2: the chemicals method of his brain ever fits like he
Speaker 2: had you. Okay, yeah, I'm sorry, you know, because the
Speaker 2: thing is even my dog she started, or.
Speaker 1: Oh no, she started, she called it what it was.
Speaker 1: I got this. I know you got some cleanup to
Speaker 1: do right now, so I got well, I'll check back
Speaker 1: and would you after you do that. But I mean, look,
Speaker 1: here's the thing. We started talking about celibacy today. We said,
Speaker 1: you know, is it a punishment or is it? Is
Speaker 1: it a choice? Uh? And I think that when we
Speaker 1: talk about in cells, the Fahimas and the chat saying
Speaker 1: they're all white and male. There's also the minis for
Speaker 1: that has a Netflix movies that includes black man like
Speaker 1: Myron Gains. But I mean, and I know that this
Speaker 1: is a whole subculture. And I've also observed a lot
Speaker 1: of women, especially on Instagram, talking about what you're saying, Dell,
Speaker 1: which is that men want to have sex with us.
Speaker 1: You said you want them to hold us. I don't
Speaker 1: think it's really just whole. I think they want to
Speaker 1: have sex with women, but they want to spend all
Speaker 1: their time with men. They don't really like women. I
Speaker 1: don't know if this is a new phenomena or not.
Speaker 1: But the other side of that coin is more and
Speaker 1: more women and men, some men, but more and more
Speaker 1: women are choosing celibacy as a dating choice, and I
Speaker 1: would think that's the other side of the coin. We
Speaker 1: will look at all of that when we come forward.
Speaker 1: You're invited in if you've got something to say about it.
Speaker 1: Eight hundred nine twoh fifteen eighty, eight hundred and nine
Speaker 1: two fifteen eighty. I know that Dell Harrison has something
Speaker 1: to say about something she gets done dealing with that DS.
Speaker 1: It's KBLA doc fifteen eighty and you're waking up with
Speaker 1: Dell Harrison and her pup Happy Monday. Yes, we're off
Speaker 1: to a great start. So, Dell, you're a high profile person.
Speaker 1: You're a singer, you're an actor, you're a comic, you
Speaker 1: do stand up tory, do all of these things. You
Speaker 1: do these mixers for black singles over forty What is
Speaker 1: your personal choice? Are you celibate? Are you considering celibacy?
Speaker 1: Do you think it's growing in popularity? How does this
Speaker 1: topic relate to you?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I am celibates, you know, by choice, and it's
Speaker 2: because I feel like I want to be under the Covenant,
Speaker 2: and I do also feel like when you are a
Speaker 2: person that is on a mission, you know, like myself
Speaker 2: and a lot of people are. You know, when you
Speaker 2: have sex involved expectly quickly, then it's a distraction and
Speaker 2: it usually takes away from your purpose. And so as
Speaker 2: a Christian woman myself, I need to be able to
Speaker 2: hear from the Lord. That's why I'm just like, no,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna refrain at all times because you know, people
Speaker 2: and I feel like people get this confused. People like
Speaker 2: you know, I've talked to men and they feel like, oh,
Speaker 2: if you're celibate, you don't like sex. No, we like,
Speaker 2: say most most of the women I know we like
Speaker 2: sex even more than men like say, but we wanted
Speaker 2: with the right person. And a lot of times, you know,
Speaker 2: when you're when you're laying down too quickly as a
Speaker 2: lot of people want you to do, you know it's
Speaker 2: not the right person because sex, first of all, it
Speaker 2: clouds your visions, you know, and it claws up your hearing.
Speaker 2: People don't know that.
Speaker 1: Huh, yeah, it claus up your hearing.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, okay, So if you're a spiritual person like me, Okay,
Speaker 2: you need to be able to hear. And when you
Speaker 2: introduce sey, if it's not with the right person, you're
Speaker 2: going to be introducing a lot of like distraction. You're
Speaker 2: introducing a spirit. And so now where you would have
Speaker 2: been sitting community hearing from the father, that is closed
Speaker 2: up because you know, the male doesn't just have uh
Speaker 2: you know, reproductive equipment. It's actually a wand it controls us.
Speaker 2: You know, whatever he's feeling, you're gonna be feeling. Whatever
Speaker 2: he's doing, he's gonna be doing. And it it's good.
Speaker 2: It's that's krystonite, you know.
Speaker 1: So, wow, that's a lot. That's a lot.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Uh so you really think that is the magic stick?
Speaker 2: Well, it's meant to be the magic stick, you know,
Speaker 2: that's the thing. Is is meant That's how the Lord
Speaker 2: built it. It's meant to be the magic stick. That's
Speaker 2: why you have to have the right burn, you know
Speaker 2: what I'm saying. That's how the LRD built it like that,
Speaker 2: and that's probably why people are so angry they don't
Speaker 2: have a magic stick, you know what I'm saying. So,
Speaker 2: y'all under the curve out here, and.
Speaker 1: Oh now it's a current I'm saying, first it was
Speaker 1: a magic wand now it's a it's a item of.
Speaker 2: No. No. Some people I have not been hurted. Some
Speaker 2: people have not received the magic wine, and so they're angry,
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. And with his angry too, well.
Speaker 1: Yogi says celibacy is healthy. He says, I'm not an
Speaker 1: animal and I've never had a sexual disease. Protect your
Speaker 1: body and mind. Sex can kill you. Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1: A lot of things can kill you. Cars can kill you.
Speaker 1: I mean, food can kill you. Alcohol can kill you.
Speaker 1: A lot of things can kill you if you don't
Speaker 1: handle with care. But Morris is also saying she's right
Speaker 1: about the power of sex. And look, I'm not judging
Speaker 1: you for your choice at all. I remember when I
Speaker 1: used to be on the Steve Harvey Morning Show and
Speaker 1: Shirley Strawberry went for a long period of celibacy because
Speaker 1: she was looking for a husband. And this, I know,
Speaker 1: the sort of born again virgin movement has gained a
Speaker 1: lot of traction, like a I don't know, maybe for
Speaker 1: the reasons you're saying. You know, they want to have clarity,
Speaker 1: or they want to erase their body, their body count
Speaker 1: and start over. I'm not sure, do you. Is it
Speaker 1: your impression that more and more people are making us choice.
Speaker 2: I think more and more people are making a choice
Speaker 2: because once you get and the thing is, I know
Speaker 2: men that are opting into celibacy too. It's not and
Speaker 2: these are attractive men. It's not that they can't get anyone.
Speaker 2: But when you're on a mission, when you're on purpose,
Speaker 2: like purpose requires you to have a certain level of
Speaker 2: self control. And when you have that self control, then
Speaker 2: you understand the value of not just going over here
Speaker 2: and giving it up over here, you know, all these
Speaker 2: different places because now you know, the purpose gets distorted.
Speaker 2: So I feel like people are opting in for that
Speaker 2: reason alone. It's like they're trying to get you know,
Speaker 2: getting to They're not just getting to the bag. They
Speaker 2: in the bag, and they understand white companionship, you know
Speaker 2: when it comes to like sex, because everybody know Howney
Speaker 2: the devil will send you the exact type you're looking for.
Speaker 2: You like them tall, He got them tall, wait around
Speaker 2: the corner, you like them short man? Oh man? Was
Speaker 2: that short man five? So I think you gotta you know,
Speaker 2: you have to have a certain level of self control.
Speaker 2: Because you need to get to the right partnership and
Speaker 2: you know there's nothing like you know, chemistry, be burning
Speaker 2: like crazy for the wrong person.
Speaker 1: So how do men react? Because I know you're not
Speaker 1: only have a dating sort of meet up and you've
Speaker 1: got a whole app for people to meet up, you
Speaker 1: do events, and I know that you yourself are looking
Speaker 1: for a life partner. How do they react when you say, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm celibate. Does that change your dating trajectory?
Speaker 2: Well, it changes it myself period. But it does help
Speaker 2: to warrant because some people need to lay down, Like
Speaker 2: you know, when you may meet these men, whether you
Speaker 2: meet them online or you need honey, A lot of
Speaker 2: these men need a hug. Last week, you get what
Speaker 2: I'm saying, sir, I cannot be out here resolving life problems.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: You know from the last thirteen women that rejected you,
Speaker 2: you have to go back in and figure out why
Speaker 2: you're not getting any hugs. And that's what the INN tells.
Speaker 2: Need to figure out what is it about you in
Speaker 2: particular where you're not huggible to a woman. But the
Speaker 2: thing about it too with me, it helps me to
Speaker 2: ward all the people that may not be a real afraid,
Speaker 2: and I've had a person that has offered me, uh,
Speaker 2: you know, to come come get in his bed. Then
Speaker 2: I was like, oh no, I'm on a life mission.
Speaker 2: And then we actually got closer for me telling him
Speaker 2: that I'm celibate, I need to you know, we actually
Speaker 2: became friends. But guess what, what's honest with me? He
Speaker 2: was like, listen, you we we're just only going to
Speaker 2: be able to be friends, okay, because my girlfriend got
Speaker 2: some work to do. No problem, because I will let
Speaker 2: her do all the work until I determined that, you know,
Speaker 2: maybe maybe we will grow closer one day and and
Speaker 2: the work will shift over here. But no, you know,
Speaker 2: I was I respected, you know what I'm saying, and
Speaker 2: that's put the expectations right. So we're you know, we're
Speaker 2: we're still in contact, but you know that it's clear
Speaker 2: out there. It's clear that he needs to go over
Speaker 2: here and you know, and and get get the work done.
Speaker 2: So he says, and I need to be over here
Speaker 2: with my promise.
Speaker 1: With your promise. The spooky sat behind the door, says
Speaker 1: Yogie Fish twenty nineteen. Once it's a year back, the
Speaker 1: gender war is officially over, just like the boss chick era.
Speaker 1: I'd be happy with both of those eras being over
Speaker 1: for sure, but I'm not sure that I believe that.
Speaker 1: He goes on to say, the overwhelming majority of men
Speaker 1: are not trying to get in a permanent relationship with
Speaker 1: women who have high body counts, and so that I
Speaker 1: guess that's an upside of being celibate. You would seem
Speaker 1: unless you did a lot of it, well as you
Speaker 1: had a prolific hoe era before you became to celebrate celibate.
Speaker 2: No, but what I'm talking about is with like with Spook,
Speaker 2: I agree with everything you say, except for the high
Speaker 2: body count, because unless she's seventeen and you just meeting her,
Speaker 2: the average person is going to have a high body
Speaker 2: count their eyes, unless somebody just got married when they
Speaker 2: was you know, right out of high school seventeen, they
Speaker 2: was together for forty years and then they just got
Speaker 2: a divorced or you know, or he died that other
Speaker 2: than that, when you go into relationships, said when you
Speaker 2: when you're going through relationships just thinking a person is
Speaker 2: the one, you could have said, Yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Have my own theories about that too, because I feel like,
Speaker 1: of course, you don't want to have body bags piled up.
Speaker 1: But I feel like men say that when they're not
Speaker 1: really into someone. If if Rihanna was liking you, you
Speaker 1: wouldn't care what her body count was. If Beyonce was
Speaker 1: liking you, you wouldn't care what her body count. Well,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm not a man. Maybe I'm wrong?
Speaker 1: Am I right?
Speaker 2: Stop asking?
Speaker 1: Right? Right, right, right? But it's but that doesn't have
Speaker 1: anything to do with why you chose, why you yourself
Speaker 1: are choosing celibacy, not trying to slow down the body count.
Speaker 2: But also too, is I stopped counting okay because I
Speaker 2: do what I want to do out here? And then
Speaker 2: also too, is.
Speaker 1: The a man?
Speaker 2: You need to stop asking because that is a question
Speaker 2: that hurts you. It don't hurt the woman, it hurts you.
Speaker 2: She just moves right on, honey, to collect another one.
Speaker 2: And guess what you out here doing the same thing.
Speaker 2: Most of y'all got a double y'all, most of our
Speaker 2: body count is double what we got, and you worried
Speaker 2: about the body count. That is the wrong question, Like
Speaker 2: you need you need to stop asking that. But I
Speaker 2: do believe I do agree with Spoops about the you know,
Speaker 2: when he mentioned the gender ward, I want them to
Speaker 2: be over too, because that is what divides many people
Speaker 2: from getting together. Men are are you know if you
Speaker 2: like a video, one of the negative Mirron Games video,
Speaker 2: which I would not let him claim that he is
Speaker 2: from the Black Rays, honey, I would. You know, if
Speaker 2: you like it one of those negative videos, A bunch
Speaker 2: of those negative videos come up, you respond to it,
Speaker 2: and that's wuld be on your timeline. And those are
Speaker 2: divisive things. So that's why you know you got a
Speaker 2: lot of these men. And then of course you have
Speaker 2: this very masculine hip hop music. I just went to
Speaker 2: this bar the other night, you know, thinking I was gonna.
Speaker 1: Hear some R and B.
Speaker 2: In every every song was this masculine song that was
Speaker 2: very masculine attracting, and all these men was in there.
Speaker 2: But the music was just like all I need her
Speaker 2: to do was SUNI and see and and I'm gonna
Speaker 2: just leave hold that.
Speaker 1: Son. I thought. We've got news driv against sports and
Speaker 1: and more. We're talking celibacy. You're invited in eight hundred
Speaker 1: nine two oh, fifteen eighty KBLA Talk, fifteen eighty, j
Speaker 1: BLA Talk fifteen eighty. We're talking celibacy today, Del Harrison
Speaker 1: is my guest. She's a comedian, she's a writer and actress,
Speaker 1: a singer, and a host. She also has an app
Speaker 1: called Cambaie, which will help you find your match, and
Speaker 1: she has chosen for herself celibacy. Celibacy our topic today
Speaker 1: this hour, and we were talking off the air too,
Speaker 1: of course you on the air, you were saying, men
Speaker 1: need to stop asking about body count. This is one
Speaker 1: of the areas where there's a complete double standard. You
Speaker 1: got a man like well Chamberlain, how many women did
Speaker 1: he say he was with ten thousand or something crazy
Speaker 1: like that, And so men go around bragging about it
Speaker 1: like it makes them somehow a conqueror or a you know,
Speaker 1: some kind of a I don't know, Romeo or something.
Speaker 1: But women are shamed for it. So it's not the same.
Speaker 1: It's it's it's you know, it's not the same in society.
Speaker 2: And we shamed for it because you know, we we
Speaker 2: we generally make better decisions about sleeping with people. So
Speaker 2: it does signify when a woman has a high body account.
Speaker 2: It does signify in the past she's been sleeping with
Speaker 2: people that didn't want her, or you know, she didn't
Speaker 2: want or there was something there because generally we do
Speaker 2: like to be with one man. But they are avoiding
Speaker 2: the fact that, you know, some of these men are
Speaker 2: slick out here and will tell you anything and will
Speaker 2: make you feel like, oh, y'all might be getting married,
Speaker 2: you know, in the morning, just give it up to
Speaker 2: night and in the morning he is dos.
Speaker 1: But I mean, we have to trick a man into
Speaker 1: like marrying us if he was gonna be ghosts anyway.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel like, I'm sure that's not
Speaker 1: why you're practicing celibacy. But to me, the era of
Speaker 1: playing games, I don't know. For me, it's just over.
Speaker 1: Either you're you're gonna do what you say or you're not.
Speaker 1: I don't want to do all that, not because I
Speaker 1: don't care, but because it doesn't work.
Speaker 2: No, And I agree with you. And that's the thing is,
Speaker 2: and that's why a lot of people are choosing it,
Speaker 2: because if you are gonna do what you say, you're
Speaker 2: gonna do what you say, regardless of the sac Because
Speaker 2: the thing about it, too is you can't even get
Speaker 2: to know, Like if you look at these marriage shows,
Speaker 2: dominique like married at first side, Fine, me too, me too.
Speaker 2: I am fascinated with the show. But all of the
Speaker 2: ones that flee together right away, they usually break up
Speaker 2: for some reason.
Speaker 1: Okay, fair, fair fair, But then you look at it.
Speaker 1: At my friend Shirley Strawberry, she was celibate for a
Speaker 1: couple of years, several years she finally found this man
Speaker 1: and married him, and he turned out to be a crook.
Speaker 1: So even the whole I do thing doesn't necessarily, you know,
Speaker 1: protect you. I don't know.
Speaker 2: The thing about it, too is your decision. See. The
Speaker 2: thing about it too is you cannot be waiting in
Speaker 2: desperation now, like when you're waiting for the lawyer to
Speaker 2: sing you your wife or yourself, you know, your husband
Speaker 2: to find you. You can't be waiting in deceration, so
Speaker 2: you marry anything. There are still signs like you know
Speaker 2: that that you can look for and still lives that
Speaker 2: people call because I'm sure he wasn't up, you know up.
Speaker 2: I'm sure she was laid up some nights to perspect
Speaker 2: that he was. But she wanted to get married just
Speaker 2: so much so she can have to say, you know,
Speaker 2: and I don't know her specific situation, but that's what
Speaker 2: happens to a lot of people. They miss out on
Speaker 2: the red flags because of the thing you want, and
Speaker 2: you can't want the thing so much that your vision
Speaker 2: is now blinded by good You know, you you're not
Speaker 2: making good decisions because you're desperate for their end results.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, Forensic says many wouldn't be interested
Speaker 1: in any Rihanna anyway since she ain't FBA at all.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Forensic earlying. I'm sorry you foundational Black American
Speaker 1: like because she's from Barbadi and not from here. That's
Speaker 1: just those are the things folks say when they think
Speaker 1: Rihanna will never ever be interested in them. You know,
Speaker 1: would you date Rihanna Miles?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: What but if but if a woman tells you I'm celibate,
Speaker 1: would that be a red flag or a green flag
Speaker 1: for you? That's not it.
Speaker 4: That's not a red flag. I mean it's a conversation
Speaker 4: to have, for sure, but I mean it does not
Speaker 4: a red flag. I'm not holding nothing against you for that.
Speaker 3: I mean, you know, it's it's your reasoning for everything,
Speaker 3: for sure.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Some people that told me they've been offended by a
Speaker 2: man told me that he was offended when he hears
Speaker 2: a woman is celibate, like he takes personal offense. And
Speaker 2: see that's a man right there. He lived by his flesh.
Speaker 2: And you know this, this man was also single. And
Speaker 2: and it's because you living by the flash and you
Speaker 2: need everybody to sleep with you.
Speaker 1: Last week, Forensica to count and says Dominque, I'm being facetious. Okay, good,
Speaker 1: because I knew that was a lie. If Rihanna came
Speaker 1: up and started nibbling on your neck, it would be over.
Speaker 1: Just saying, but what's the endgame? I mean, if you
Speaker 1: met a woman, Miles who said I'm celibate by choice,
Speaker 1: would you date her? Because I feel like that means
Speaker 1: probably And maybe maybe I'm making an assumption, Dell, but
Speaker 1: to me, it sounds like she's waiting for marriage.
Speaker 4: I mean that's why I'm saying the conversation should be
Speaker 4: had at that point. It's not an automatic deal breaker because,
Speaker 4: like I say, it could be for any number of reasons,
Speaker 4: your health reasons, your personal reasons, your spiritual journey.
Speaker 3: I get it, I get and understand all of them.
Speaker 4: I may not be the man to stick around with
Speaker 4: you through all that, but it's worth a conversation for show.
Speaker 3: It's not a deal breaker.
Speaker 1: And what is what is the endgame? I mean, when
Speaker 1: do you break the fasts? Dell? Are we waiting forever?
Speaker 1: Are we waiting till we get married? Are you waiting
Speaker 1: until you know? The Lord comes down and says, that's
Speaker 1: your guy. You don't have to marry him. You can
Speaker 1: sleep for them tonight, Like, what what's.
Speaker 2: The down and say I'm gonna sleep with him tonight?
Speaker 2: The NOOI ain't. I'm gonna come down and say that.
Speaker 2: The thing about it, too is you know, uh, I
Speaker 2: feel like when you are when you have an exploration
Speaker 2: date is because you don't believe it's gonna happen, so
Speaker 2: you just like it don't happen by this day, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna just do it. It's gonna happen. I'm worthy of
Speaker 2: a person, you know. I'm worthy of a person. First
Speaker 2: of all, I've been married before, okay, and I'm worthy
Speaker 2: of a person. So if I'm worthy of a person,
Speaker 2: that means that I know that someone is out there
Speaker 2: and guess what, I don't feel like my husband is
Speaker 2: somewhere dumps and diving in the trash can, sleeping with
Speaker 2: everybody on the first night, just until he gets to me.
Speaker 2: I do believe that he is also a man that's
Speaker 2: just like me. That's practice of self control and walking
Speaker 2: with the law and on purpose. And I feel like
Speaker 2: a lot of people are lacking, Like when you are
Speaker 2: living by the flesh, you're just so desiring the flesh.
Speaker 2: A lot of times you're lacking purpose, lacking.
Speaker 1: Okay, I see Miles making a face, So Miles wants
Speaker 1: to say, so, I'm gonna turn it over to him
Speaker 1: instead of what I was about to say.
Speaker 4: So, I gotta remember we're talking about celibacy, so I
Speaker 4: want to stay on topic a little bit. But if
Speaker 4: if a man wants to take his time before he
Speaker 4: gets down on one knee and marror, you had a
Speaker 4: time dating the end date for that before you walk away,
Speaker 4: and you say, you know what, he's not the one
Speaker 4: for you.
Speaker 3: So I mean, what's what's wrong withold happen to end
Speaker 3: date for it?
Speaker 2: Having an end date for the celibacy.
Speaker 4: The celibacy, you're saying, there's no end date for it's
Speaker 4: gonna happen eventually. Just wait on it's gonna happen. To
Speaker 4: act like it's not gonna happen, you being impatient. If
Speaker 4: I said the same thing about getting down and getting
Speaker 4: you that ring and making you my wife.
Speaker 1: I love you.
Speaker 3: It's gonna happen like I love you. We have we're
Speaker 3: building something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and also right, well'll let you answer his question.
Speaker 2: Okay, but again, but if if it is gonna happen,
Speaker 2: then we just don't wait on each other. If you
Speaker 2: need me to, if you need me to, now hurry
Speaker 2: up my process. So, but I need to wait on
Speaker 2: your process, then we are not equally your So.
Speaker 1: So no, no test drive at all. You're gonna marry
Speaker 1: this person without ever sampling the goods?
Speaker 2: Okay, but the thing about it too, Okay, No, No,
Speaker 2: I'm going to answer it to you right now. First
Speaker 2: of all, I don't be friends with you at all
Speaker 2: unless I know it's good. But I don't need to
Speaker 2: sleep with you. My instinct is, oh, I've had a
Speaker 2: past life, so I can look at a man and
Speaker 2: I can see exactly with this section is I can
Speaker 2: see if you're good. I can see if you're not
Speaker 2: within second.
Speaker 1: So okay, well, that would be a hell of a
Speaker 1: mistake if you were just wrong that one time. Now
Speaker 1: it's okay, all right, Uh, we don't leave that right there. No,
Speaker 1: because honestly, there's some things that are chemistry, and it
Speaker 1: doesn't only have to do with equipment. If that's what
Speaker 1: you're looking at, IM just saying uh anyway.
Speaker 2: So no, no, no, but I feel like that's why
Speaker 2: you get to know a See.
Speaker 1: This is the thing.
Speaker 2: The thing about it, too, is when you're getting to
Speaker 2: know a person, these are the things that bond you
Speaker 2: like you can when you's sex as one bond, But
Speaker 2: there are so many other bonds that you need to
Speaker 2: make before you jump over into this field, because sex
Speaker 2: before you know all all these other bonds is a
Speaker 2: false bar. And then you wake up in the morning,
Speaker 2: you know, three months later and be like, I actually
Speaker 2: hate this person. And that's what happens a lot of people.
Speaker 2: You get you have it said, he looks so good
Speaker 2: you it's like I just met this dude. He looks
Speaker 2: Oh my god, he is and then you'd be like,
Speaker 2: wait a minute, this old on, this brother is inconsistent,
Speaker 2: this brother is this. And this is not to take
Speaker 2: every man, but I'm talking about when you don't take
Speaker 2: the time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, go ahead, Miles.
Speaker 3: Is bad sex a relationship ender for you? Or do
Speaker 3: you stay with mister bad sex?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: No, bad sex is a is a relationship not starter.
Speaker 2: If I don't think it's that we don't even we
Speaker 2: don't even get to know each other. We don't talk.
Speaker 1: But since you're celeb, wouldn't know until you already said I.
Speaker 2: Do, I wouldn't know immediately. I would know immediately.
Speaker 1: Okay, well maybe you know what, Maybe I need to
Speaker 1: have you vet anyway, I know. I mean, it was
Speaker 1: the same question Joki said. He says, what if you're perfect,
Speaker 1: man doesn't have a magic one? Is that a deal breaker?
Speaker 1: But you've already said I do. You're not gonna go
Speaker 1: get another divorce because the man is the fishing in
Speaker 1: the sack.
Speaker 2: I think that, y'all like and and and maybe it's
Speaker 2: because I have had I have lived a very full
Speaker 2: life in this area. My my body does not even
Speaker 2: wake up until we are sexually compatible. So like, I
Speaker 2: don't I know it off the break and yours doesn't either,
Speaker 2: Like you know, it's something that's natural with us when
Speaker 2: you when you take away the desperation, it's something that's
Speaker 2: natural like and mouth, please speak to this too. It's
Speaker 2: just something about your body that you know what it's
Speaker 2: gonna be like with this word, It's like when I
Speaker 2: meet some men something that I've had sexual relationship with,
Speaker 2: I already knew it was good, Like just talking on
Speaker 2: the phone. I already knew what it was gonna be like.
Speaker 2: I didn't have to guess that is what you know.
Speaker 1: You be delusional and sincere at the same time. If
Speaker 1: you're not a vision and you're talking about getting married
Speaker 1: but your celibate, I'm going to want to test drive
Speaker 1: before I.
Speaker 2: Buy, just saying, please test drive all day long email.
Speaker 2: But are you married right now? Are you married right now?
Speaker 1: I don't think he is. I think he's in our relationship,
Speaker 1: test driving with no car note.
Speaker 2: Going down to the dealer, just test driving it. Yes,
Speaker 2: but is never gonna get an official loan. She is
Speaker 2: never gonna get the car. Note that you've been pro.
Speaker 1: Paul says, you're you're in the X Men. You got superpowers?
Speaker 1: All right, we'll shoot Dale Harrison, you might need them.
Speaker 1: We're talking celibacy. I'm not judging. I'm just trying to
Speaker 1: understand and of course having some conversation. That's what we
Speaker 1: do around here. We are KBLA Talk fifteen eighty DJ
Speaker 1: Black nine or nine says A no shame in celibacy
Speaker 1: and abstinence, certainly not saying there's shame in it. For me,
Speaker 1: it would be like I think it would be like
Speaker 1: going on a really strict diet. The minute I do that,
Speaker 1: I want to eat all the time. If I'm just
Speaker 1: living my life and I'm not focused on that, I'm
Speaker 1: you know, just living my life and and I'm still
Speaker 1: living within my morals and principles. It's not for me.
Speaker 1: It's not one extreme either your dumpster diving, as del
Speaker 1: Harrison so delicately put it, or you're you know, or
Speaker 1: you're absin, and I fully feel like there's a there's
Speaker 1: a sweet spot in between. Miles. Would you ever go celibate?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm curious that how long is it had to
Speaker 3: be gone to you consider?
Speaker 1: How long do you do without when until it's considered? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's true. I'm celibating.
Speaker 3: The summer.
Speaker 2: So yeah, I think it's when it's intentional, you know,
Speaker 2: when you when you just yeah, if it's on purpose,
Speaker 2: then yeah, you've been celebrated. That's that's what it is.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, Okay, so even if it's minutes
Speaker 1: because you intentionally said that you're celibate, it counts. Got it.
Speaker 1: Speaking of sex, the US Supreme Court did reject Donald
Speaker 1: Trump's push thank you forensic to throw out that verdict
Speaker 1: and the sex abuse case. So celibate or otherwise, e
Speaker 1: gen Carrol is going to keep her five point three million,
Speaker 1: and she may be getting the eighty three million. So anyway,
Speaker 1: I digress. So how's it going? Do you feel better?
Speaker 1: Do you feel different? Do you? I mean you said
Speaker 1: you got these spidy senses going where you can. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I don't mean to question your but you you never know.
Speaker 1: But anyway, are you feeling different? Is there? Are you
Speaker 1: feeling the upside of this decision in your life and
Speaker 1: and and seeing the benefits of it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm definitely seeing the benefits. Also to Dominique, we
Speaker 2: need to go out so I can go head and
Speaker 2: and vc you some guys and then you can test
Speaker 2: out my theory and you can let me know that
Speaker 2: you got.
Speaker 1: Sleeping with a bunch of guys, like what the heck?
Speaker 2: No, No, I turn out the absolute one, just one.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: I'm talking about you saying you don't know what the
Speaker 2: sex is like, and I'm making you know. We can
Speaker 2: spend one night out and I could be like, ah,
Speaker 2: dominate don't was okay, I think he now he gonna
Speaker 2: be like, I'm telling you you need to go out
Speaker 2: because I don't. You know, at this day and age,
Speaker 2: you know, fighting senses is way up, but it's going way.
Speaker 2: It's going well because I don't have the interference of
Speaker 2: the flash constantly, you know, directing my emotion.
Speaker 1: As doctor gill as Doctor gil Wyatt, the sex therapist, psychologist,
Speaker 1: psychiatrist says sex is a human need like food, water,
Speaker 1: you know, housing, you know, human touch and sexuality is
Speaker 1: one of our needs. So you could go the other
Speaker 1: way and say you're gonna get more uptight, less relax
Speaker 1: perhaps less likely to make a clear eye decision if
Speaker 1: you go too long without any sex.
Speaker 2: Okay, sex is a need, I completely agree. But just
Speaker 2: like people fast from sugar.
Speaker 1: And you know, sure is not a need. Coffee is
Speaker 1: not a need.
Speaker 2: Okay. But just like people fast, the body from different
Speaker 2: things that they need to clear it out of, sex
Speaker 2: is one of those things. It's a need, especially when
Speaker 2: you have a right partner. But I'm sure if you
Speaker 2: talk to Yail right now, she's like, oh, don't just
Speaker 2: sleep with anybody. You're gonna have to find rightfully aligned partner.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, she does say don't just sleep with anyone.
Speaker 1: But and in fact she says, when you don't have anyone,
Speaker 1: you're better off pleasure in yourself than going without. But
Speaker 1: that's another conversation for another day perhaps, But I don't
Speaker 1: think it's you know, that's like saying, oh, hunger is
Speaker 1: only a need when you have good food. No, you
Speaker 1: have to have food. I mean, you know, I rather
Speaker 1: you don't eat fast food, but I don't want you
Speaker 1: to die.
Speaker 2: Yeah. The thing is too is sex is not the
Speaker 2: same as fast food. Sex is something that is going
Speaker 2: into your body from another person. So that's why you
Speaker 2: need it rightfully alive. Fast food you go over here
Speaker 2: and get your own Popeyes yourself, you know, and you
Speaker 2: can do whatever you want to with the fried chicken,
Speaker 2: even though you're not supposed to be having it. But
Speaker 2: seg it can destroy you when you are after it
Speaker 2: from anyone. And that's what people got to understand is, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's a need. Yeah, we need to be having And
Speaker 2: this does not mean you can't meet someone. And y'all
Speaker 2: not affectionate, y'all not hugging you know, y'all. I mean
Speaker 2: I don't be kissing. You know I'm not I'm not
Speaker 2: said I'm not a kisser or whatever, but you know,
Speaker 2: a hug is extremely intimate. The kids on the forehead
Speaker 2: is extremely intimate. So there are some things you can
Speaker 2: experience when you're dating someone that that makes it feel
Speaker 2: like say, that makes it feel just as fulfilling with
Speaker 2: the touch, because it's the tail.
Speaker 1: We don't leave it there because it's almost time to
Speaker 1: pass the mic. Mind folks how to find you your
Speaker 1: come by a app so they can find someone celibate
Speaker 1: or otherwise.
Speaker 2: Okay, y'all find me and I am Dale Harrison. Find
Speaker 2: my app AI. It is a comby Yer is not
Speaker 2: a dating app. It is an AI powered location to
Speaker 2: the health Black singles over forty five each other in person.
Speaker 2: So you're not going on the apps to anyone and
Speaker 2: swipe and send out any d M. You're going on
Speaker 2: there so that you could check in. The checking list
Speaker 2: is available for you to find where people are and
Speaker 2: then you're gonna see the heat map to see the
Speaker 2: area popular singles.
Speaker 1: Komb Ye Del Harrison, thank you so much. I always
Speaker 1: appreciate the conversation with you. You're such a great sport.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, and you can tap in with
Speaker 1: me at Duprema Radio, d P R I, m A
Speaker 1: and then radio on all platforms. You can find us
Speaker 1: at KBLA fifteen eighty. It's time for me to pass
Speaker 1: the mic. Doctor Cornell West End, Congresswoman Maxine Waters coming
Speaker 1: up next hour. Like my mama, the late great Diane
Speaker 1: da Prima used to say, the ultimate famine is the
Speaker 1: starvation of the imagination. Until next time, my KBLA delegation,
Speaker 1: one love,