WEBVTT 1 00:00:02.359 --> 00:00:08.480 This is an Unspoiled Network podcast. This is spoil Me 2 00:00:09.439 --> 00:00:21.800 covering Dungeon Crawler Caral chapters one through five. In these chapters, 3 00:00:22.839 --> 00:00:26.960 everybody gets smushed like bugs inside of buildings, which sounded 4 00:00:27.000 --> 00:00:30.039 pretty terrible until I get to hear what the other 5 00:00:30.160 --> 00:00:32.759 options were, and then I'm like, I think I'd prefer 6 00:00:32.840 --> 00:00:36.799 being squished like a bug inside of a building. I 7 00:00:36.840 --> 00:00:38.719 don't feel like I would be good at this game 8 00:00:39.600 --> 00:00:46.560 at all, at all, at all. Welcome to spoil Me, 9 00:01:05.239 --> 00:01:08.519 Welcome to the show everyone. I am Natasha. Thank you 10 00:01:08.640 --> 00:01:12.480 very much to Michael for commissioning this episode. And Michael 11 00:01:12.599 --> 00:01:14.120 is here in the chat and he left a long 12 00:01:14.159 --> 00:01:16.519 comment here that I really wanted to share with you guys, 13 00:01:16.560 --> 00:01:19.959 so he says, I'm hoping you'll enjoy this series. Lit 14 00:01:20.079 --> 00:01:22.280 RPG is kind of a hard sell for a lot 15 00:01:22.319 --> 00:01:25.640 of people, and I get why it's mostly wish fulfillment 16 00:01:25.640 --> 00:01:29.239 stuff because the real world sucks. Most of it is 17 00:01:29.280 --> 00:01:32.719 just dumb fun and to paraphrase Felicia Day, it's like 18 00:01:32.799 --> 00:01:36.319 cotton candy, easy to consume and then it's gone. But 19 00:01:36.400 --> 00:01:39.840 in my opinion, Dudgeon Crawler Karl is a step above 20 00:01:40.040 --> 00:01:43.400 since it avoids most of the cringiest tropes of the genre. 21 00:01:43.920 --> 00:01:47.359 It has a lot of puerile and juvenile humor from 22 00:01:47.359 --> 00:01:50.400 the AI. But I'm a teenager trapped in a forty 23 00:01:50.400 --> 00:01:53.519 five year old body, so I love it. Travis Baldry, 24 00:01:53.640 --> 00:01:57.560 Jeff Hayes, and Andrea Parsnow are in my pantheon of 25 00:01:57.640 --> 00:02:03.079 amazing narrators. Okay, so first of all, I have read 26 00:02:03.159 --> 00:02:08.360 some RPG before, and I definitely see what you mean 27 00:02:08.520 --> 00:02:11.360 with it just being like kind of difficult sometimes, and 28 00:02:11.439 --> 00:02:13.759 it really varies. I have had times where I start 29 00:02:13.759 --> 00:02:16.240 reading and I am just like, nope, no, I'm sorry, 30 00:02:16.319 --> 00:02:20.120 I just cannot do this. Is this is like almost pathetic, 31 00:02:20.240 --> 00:02:24.159 how desperately cool I am supposed to think this person is? 32 00:02:24.919 --> 00:02:27.680 And then there are times where I am like so 33 00:02:27.960 --> 00:02:33.560 sucked into. There's a series called Pixel Dust I think 34 00:02:33.680 --> 00:02:35.400 is the name of it, and it's like there was 35 00:02:35.400 --> 00:02:39.199 supposed to be another book, but there are three that 36 00:02:39.280 --> 00:02:43.000 are written, and I tore through those pretty quick a 37 00:02:43.000 --> 00:02:45.120 few years ago. It's been a while since I read them. 38 00:02:45.560 --> 00:02:48.759 I'm not sure if those exactly count. I think they do. 39 00:02:49.319 --> 00:02:54.159 But it's basically a sort of like party that develops 40 00:02:54.199 --> 00:02:57.759 through a server and they don't know each other in person, 41 00:02:58.159 --> 00:03:01.000 but eventually they begin to uncover something that leads to 42 00:03:01.039 --> 00:03:04.240 them needing to know each other in person. And it's 43 00:03:04.599 --> 00:03:07.439 a whole thing. And I really really enjoyed that one, 44 00:03:07.439 --> 00:03:09.560 and I was so like, sort of bummed when I 45 00:03:09.639 --> 00:03:11.840 looked into it. And it's been years and there hasn't 46 00:03:11.840 --> 00:03:17.319 been another one, So there have been versions of this 47 00:03:17.400 --> 00:03:21.080 that work really well for me. So and yeah, the 48 00:03:21.199 --> 00:03:25.560 whole energy of this book from the start, first of all, 49 00:03:27.400 --> 00:03:34.039 I just want to address, like this narrator is gives 50 00:03:34.039 --> 00:03:38.919 a particular energy right off the top that very much 51 00:03:39.039 --> 00:03:47.000 is giving Putty from Seinfeld. I don't know if that 52 00:03:47.159 --> 00:03:51.080 is going to mean anything to some of you. I'm like, 53 00:03:51.240 --> 00:03:53.159 you know, Seinfeld's a pretty famous show, so most people 54 00:03:53.159 --> 00:03:55.439 are probably gonna get what I'm talking about. But Putty, 55 00:03:55.479 --> 00:04:00.080 who is played by Patrick Warburton, it's different than say 56 00:04:00.199 --> 00:04:04.879 he's giving Patrick Warburton because Patrick Warburton has this particular voice, 57 00:04:04.919 --> 00:04:08.400 but the inflections that he gives when he is like 58 00:04:09.240 --> 00:04:13.759 in Emperor's New Groove or in oh my God, what 59 00:04:13.879 --> 00:04:17.040 is the other thing that I was just thinking, there's 60 00:04:17.040 --> 00:04:21.560 another property, oh oh, when he's Brock Samson and Venture Brothers. 61 00:04:22.360 --> 00:04:27.680 That voice is a really different inflection than Putty, and 62 00:04:28.120 --> 00:04:31.680 this guy was feeling like that for me so hard. 63 00:04:32.120 --> 00:04:34.839 Instantly it was like the first four syllables and I 64 00:04:34.920 --> 00:04:38.279 was like, what is Puddy doing here? What? Which actually 65 00:04:38.439 --> 00:04:41.519 kind of works because just like the way he's described 66 00:04:41.560 --> 00:04:46.199 as being a pretty big dude, feels like that falls 67 00:04:46.279 --> 00:04:51.759 into the right imagery in my head. Oh oh, Michael 68 00:04:51.759 --> 00:04:54.439 says the narrator very much just trying to emulate Patrick Warburton. 69 00:04:54.480 --> 00:04:56.800 If I recall, it's kind of how he pictured the 70 00:04:56.839 --> 00:05:00.279 main character. Okay, I love it. Then that's great because 71 00:05:00.319 --> 00:05:01.839 I started listening and I had to stop and I 72 00:05:02.040 --> 00:05:04.560 put in an earbud in my husband's ear and was like, 73 00:05:04.680 --> 00:05:06.560 who is this? And he's just just like Putty? And 74 00:05:06.639 --> 00:05:13.680 I was like Putty. Yeah. So this the energy of 75 00:05:13.720 --> 00:05:16.199 these first five chapters for me is very much like 76 00:05:18.079 --> 00:05:24.279 Hunger Games meets ready Player one. And for the record, 77 00:05:24.759 --> 00:05:27.120 ready Player one gets a lot of shit, and that's 78 00:05:27.160 --> 00:05:31.079 all fair. I covered Ready Player one for Unspoiled book 79 00:05:31.120 --> 00:05:33.920 Club and I'll tell you what, kids, people really expected 80 00:05:33.959 --> 00:05:36.439 me to hate it, and I just couldn't hate it. 81 00:05:36.759 --> 00:05:39.680 I had such a good time, like all of the 82 00:05:39.720 --> 00:05:43.560 criticism that gets levied at it is one thousand percent fair. 83 00:05:44.480 --> 00:05:47.560 But it just didn't matter to me, And that is 84 00:05:47.600 --> 00:05:49.360 a rare thing, you guys, know, Like there are some 85 00:05:49.360 --> 00:05:50.839 stuff I can't I get hung up and I just 86 00:05:50.879 --> 00:05:56.680 can't get past. And it was just Ready Player one 87 00:05:57.240 --> 00:06:01.480 never seemed to feel like it thought it was real deep. 88 00:06:02.120 --> 00:06:04.879 It always seemed to be fully aware of exactly what 89 00:06:05.000 --> 00:06:11.839 it was and just did that very enthusiastically. And I 90 00:06:11.879 --> 00:06:14.920 respect when something is just like, no, this is going 91 00:06:15.000 --> 00:06:18.160 to be like, as Michael is saying, a nostalgia bomb, 92 00:06:18.399 --> 00:06:20.680 this is gonna be that, it's gonna be wish fulfillment. 93 00:06:20.759 --> 00:06:23.759 It is going to be like every nerd who wishes 94 00:06:23.800 --> 00:06:26.639 that he could like capitalize on all the useless trivia 95 00:06:26.680 --> 00:06:31.399 they know. Like the whole vibe of it felt so 96 00:06:32.680 --> 00:06:37.040 weirdly self aware even as it was ridiculous, that I 97 00:06:37.160 --> 00:06:41.360 just couldn't hate it. So when I say that this 98 00:06:41.439 --> 00:06:44.120 is Ready to Player one meets Hunger Games, in my opinion, 99 00:06:44.199 --> 00:06:47.680 both of those are kind of good things. But like 100 00:06:47.720 --> 00:06:51.360 I said, I don't disagree with any of the criticisms 101 00:06:51.399 --> 00:06:54.920 brought against Ready Player one. It's just that, for whatever reason, 102 00:06:55.240 --> 00:06:57.199 I was able to smooth sail right on past him, 103 00:06:57.199 --> 00:07:01.160 and it just didn't drag me down at all. Happened sometimes, 104 00:07:01.319 --> 00:07:08.600 you know. So anyway, the opening of this the transformation 105 00:07:08.720 --> 00:07:12.160 occurred at approximately two twenty three am Pacific standard time. 106 00:07:12.920 --> 00:07:15.240 As far as I could tell, anyone who was indoors 107 00:07:15.240 --> 00:07:18.319 when it happened died instantly. If you had any sort 108 00:07:18.319 --> 00:07:24.000 of roof over you, you were dead. That included people in cars, airplanes, subways, 109 00:07:24.439 --> 00:07:28.600 even tents and cardboard boxes. Hell, probably umbrellas too, though 110 00:07:28.639 --> 00:07:32.639 I'm not so sure about that one. I'm not gonna lie. 111 00:07:33.040 --> 00:07:36.160 You guys who were inside, probably warm and asleep and 112 00:07:36.240 --> 00:07:40.519 dreaming about some random bullshit. I'm jealous. You're the lucky ones. 113 00:07:40.839 --> 00:07:44.279 You were just gone splattered into dust during the transformation. 114 00:07:45.680 --> 00:07:48.560 And you know, normally, when somebody is like you were 115 00:07:48.600 --> 00:07:51.399 the lucky ones, I'm like, oh, jerk off in the corner. 116 00:07:51.920 --> 00:07:55.199 But honestly, this, once you get to reading, I was 117 00:07:55.240 --> 00:07:57.079 sort of just like, yeah, I don't know, I think 118 00:07:57.079 --> 00:08:03.399 he's right. Actually, I think that sounds fair. So we 119 00:08:03.560 --> 00:08:09.759 get this fun little background where he talks about how 120 00:08:10.360 --> 00:08:15.600 he wound up outside in boxers pink Croc sandals that 121 00:08:15.720 --> 00:08:20.879 barely fit a leather jacket and holding a cat named 122 00:08:20.959 --> 00:08:28.199 Princess Donut to the Queen Anne Chunk and apparently like 123 00:08:28.839 --> 00:08:32.799 worth a ton of money. This cat won a cat 124 00:08:32.879 --> 00:08:38.720 show like every fucking weekend. I am very, very interested 125 00:08:39.000 --> 00:08:41.159 in what the Queen Anne Chunk is going to be 126 00:08:41.279 --> 00:08:46.879 turning into because it seems pretty clear to me, like 127 00:08:47.080 --> 00:08:50.519 it's a gamble. Who knows, you know what I'm saying. 128 00:08:51.159 --> 00:08:56.639 But I already right away as soon as he was like, 129 00:08:56.679 --> 00:09:00.000 this is you know my situation. As I wound up here, 130 00:09:00.159 --> 00:09:01.840 I was like, oh, okay, so you were inside chasing 131 00:09:01.840 --> 00:09:04.919 this or outside chasing this cat. If there is one 132 00:09:04.919 --> 00:09:08.039 thing I know, it is chasing animals that have run 133 00:09:08.080 --> 00:09:10.840 out of the house at odd hours of the day 134 00:09:11.360 --> 00:09:15.000 in pajamas or other inappropriate clothing. I had to chase 135 00:09:15.039 --> 00:09:19.399 Pippin across the street the other day, and it was unfortunately, 136 00:09:19.480 --> 00:09:21.679 like the middle of the afternoon, and I was in 137 00:09:21.679 --> 00:09:25.480 my pajamas and that's never a good look. But you know, 138 00:09:25.720 --> 00:09:28.200 especially these days, I just felt like such a slob. 139 00:09:28.559 --> 00:09:32.519 But this bitch ran out because somebody else's dog was out, 140 00:09:32.919 --> 00:09:36.120 and so he went to chase their dog, and so 141 00:09:36.240 --> 00:09:44.080 I blame them, really but uh yeah, I like the 142 00:09:45.559 --> 00:09:49.600 whole way that this starts off. I enjoy this bit. 143 00:09:50.200 --> 00:09:52.639 He had a girlfriend named Beatrice who goes on a 144 00:09:52.639 --> 00:09:55.159 trip and doesn't tell him that her ex boyfriend's going 145 00:09:55.200 --> 00:09:57.720 to be there. I figured it out pretty quick when 146 00:09:57.759 --> 00:09:59.480 I saw the picture of her sitting on his lap 147 00:09:59.480 --> 00:10:02.759 on Instagram. I don't like drama, and I don't deal 148 00:10:02.879 --> 00:10:05.360 well with it. Whether she was actually cheating on me 149 00:10:05.480 --> 00:10:08.600 or not, it didn't matter so much. She lied, so 150 00:10:08.639 --> 00:10:10.799 I called her up and I told her we were done. 151 00:10:12.000 --> 00:10:14.720 I really admire this. This is the sort of thing 152 00:10:14.720 --> 00:10:20.519 where I'm like, I there are times where I get 153 00:10:20.519 --> 00:10:24.799 really frustrated and I'm like, just talk to each other. 154 00:10:25.120 --> 00:10:27.519 You know. This is one of those times that, in 155 00:10:27.559 --> 00:10:32.320 my opinion, there is nothing that you could tell me 156 00:10:32.480 --> 00:10:40.240 that would make this be okay. Like you can't just 157 00:10:40.279 --> 00:10:43.360 sit on the lap of an ex and not tell 158 00:10:43.399 --> 00:10:45.799 me that they're there, no heads up text. Hey, I 159 00:10:45.799 --> 00:10:48.159 didn't know he was gonna be here, but I arrived 160 00:10:48.200 --> 00:10:50.279 and it turns out they invited him and they didn't 161 00:10:50.279 --> 00:10:55.159 tell me or warning that, Like, Hey, so he just 162 00:10:55.240 --> 00:10:57.279 dumped some girl and I'm gonna be in his lap 163 00:10:57.279 --> 00:10:59.360 on a photo because he wants to make her jealous, 164 00:10:59.399 --> 00:11:02.279 but there's nothing going on. I swear not that that 165 00:11:02.320 --> 00:11:04.320 would be believable, but at least it would be an 166 00:11:04.360 --> 00:11:08.200 attempt to explain a thing away, you know. But it 167 00:11:08.440 --> 00:11:14.159 just there's nothing about this that for me feels inappropriate. 168 00:11:14.240 --> 00:11:18.480 His reaction, I think that's exactly how you want to 169 00:11:18.519 --> 00:11:21.039 handle somebody who starts to like toy with you like this. 170 00:11:21.919 --> 00:11:24.399 I'm just too old for it, you know, Like he's 171 00:11:24.519 --> 00:11:26.480 cutting it off at twenty seven. I feel like he's 172 00:11:26.519 --> 00:11:29.000 doing really well because a lot of us put up 173 00:11:29.000 --> 00:11:31.399 with too much shit for too long, until we finally 174 00:11:31.480 --> 00:11:33.039 start to get to a point in our lives where 175 00:11:33.080 --> 00:11:35.200 we're like, life's too short and I don't need to 176 00:11:35.200 --> 00:11:38.159 waste time on somebody who's decided to pull some bullshit. 177 00:11:41.559 --> 00:11:48.600 So yeah, Donut has all of these like ribbons and 178 00:11:48.720 --> 00:11:53.159 a whole bedroom dedicated to her trophies and her catbox 179 00:11:53.279 --> 00:11:57.120 and all of this stuff. I never considered myself a 180 00:11:57.120 --> 00:11:59.120 big fan of cats, but if we're being truthful here, 181 00:11:59.159 --> 00:12:02.120 I like Donut. That cat did not give two shits 182 00:12:02.159 --> 00:12:05.559 about anybody or anything, and I could respect that. If 183 00:12:05.559 --> 00:12:06.960 Donat wanted to sit on my lap while I was 184 00:12:07.000 --> 00:12:09.679 blasting away on PlayStation, and she sat on my damn lab. 185 00:12:09.960 --> 00:12:11.720 If I tried to pick her up, she hissed and 186 00:12:11.840 --> 00:12:14.399 scratched and jumped right back up there, and then she 187 00:12:14.440 --> 00:12:16.320 looked at me with a squished face that said, what 188 00:12:16.360 --> 00:12:18.919 are you going to do about it? I'd been tempted 189 00:12:18.960 --> 00:12:21.200 more than once to throttle the thing, but I'm not 190 00:12:21.240 --> 00:12:25.159 an asshole. Plus I could respect the little monster's tenacity. 191 00:12:25.720 --> 00:12:27.679 Some of my buddies would give me crap about it, 192 00:12:27.720 --> 00:12:29.279 and he spending all this time with a fuzzy cat 193 00:12:29.320 --> 00:12:31.080 that was probably worth more than I would make in 194 00:12:31.120 --> 00:12:33.919 a year, But I enjoyed it. I enjoyed having that 195 00:12:33.919 --> 00:12:38.919 ball of fuzz sitting in my lap. So what happens 196 00:12:39.039 --> 00:12:42.759 is Beatrice had no smoking rule, and he decides just 197 00:12:42.799 --> 00:12:44.919 to give her the finger after they break up that 198 00:12:44.960 --> 00:12:48.399 he is going to smoke like crazy inside the house, 199 00:12:49.320 --> 00:12:52.480 and he decides to crack the window a little bit, 200 00:12:52.720 --> 00:12:57.120 and Donut, for some reason, decides at that moment, after 201 00:12:57.159 --> 00:12:59.960 never having done this before, it seems, to jump outside 202 00:13:00.200 --> 00:13:05.879 onto a tree, and I think that this points to 203 00:13:06.480 --> 00:13:10.159 she knew something was up. Like all I could think 204 00:13:10.480 --> 00:13:14.919 was this cat was aware that some shit was about 205 00:13:14.919 --> 00:13:19.840 to go down. She fucking knew how don't know doesn't 206 00:13:19.919 --> 00:13:23.159 really matter at this point, but it just felt. I 207 00:13:23.200 --> 00:13:27.360 felt very strongly about the significance of her doing it now, 208 00:13:27.360 --> 00:13:32.080 of all times, when she's never done it before. And 209 00:13:32.759 --> 00:13:36.159 of course he has a moment of just being like, fine, 210 00:13:36.200 --> 00:13:40.200 fuck her, I'm gonna leave her out there now. I 211 00:13:40.240 --> 00:13:44.600 think he says exactly what temperature it was, but uh yeah, 212 00:13:44.600 --> 00:13:48.080 he says it was well below zero, which was unusually cold, 213 00:13:48.399 --> 00:13:53.000 so probably she would have frozen. It always depends on 214 00:13:53.080 --> 00:13:55.759 the animal, but you know, if she's a cat that's 215 00:13:55.879 --> 00:13:59.559 used to being inside and cared for, I don't see 216 00:13:59.600 --> 00:14:03.320 her doing super well outside on her own. There's also 217 00:14:03.399 --> 00:14:05.960 the possibility of her being able to find somewhere to 218 00:14:06.039 --> 00:14:07.919 hunk her down and stay warmer. So she may have 219 00:14:08.000 --> 00:14:10.600 been okay, but you don't want to take that risk, 220 00:14:10.759 --> 00:14:13.720 especially like as he puts it, I'm not an asshole. 221 00:14:14.600 --> 00:14:17.279 I definitely have a kitten that runs outside all the time. 222 00:14:17.600 --> 00:14:19.480 She has finally learned how to get down off the 223 00:14:19.559 --> 00:14:22.240 roof by herself, because she's learned how to crawl down 224 00:14:22.399 --> 00:14:26.720 trees and not just up them. But she I have 225 00:14:26.799 --> 00:14:28.440 gotten to a point where I do have to like 226 00:14:28.519 --> 00:14:32.080 leave her outside sometimes because trying to chase her she 227 00:14:32.200 --> 00:14:36.840 will go where there's no following, and it makes her 228 00:14:36.879 --> 00:14:40.279 stay outside longer if I chase her. So if I 229 00:14:40.360 --> 00:14:42.799 just go out inside and pretend like I don't even care, 230 00:14:43.039 --> 00:14:45.480 eventually she's at the back door crying to be let in. 231 00:14:45.919 --> 00:14:48.759 So that's my tact that I take, But especially when 232 00:14:48.759 --> 00:14:50.799 it's cold out, she wants to come in pretty quick. 233 00:14:51.840 --> 00:14:56.960 So also, there is a neighbor named Missus Parsons who 234 00:14:57.039 --> 00:15:00.240 apparently always makes complaints about noise and stuff. So the 235 00:15:00.279 --> 00:15:04.960 cat screaming out there, I really think the cat did 236 00:15:05.000 --> 00:15:07.600 this to save him. I would like to give her 237 00:15:07.639 --> 00:15:10.080 that credit that she knows what's going on. She jumps 238 00:15:10.120 --> 00:15:13.000 outside because she can tell. And then she stands out 239 00:15:13.000 --> 00:15:15.960 there screaming basically, get the fuck out of the house. 240 00:15:16.000 --> 00:15:18.120 Get out of the house, get outside. You can't be 241 00:15:18.159 --> 00:15:21.200 inside the house anymore. Come outside. And he's just like, God, 242 00:15:21.240 --> 00:15:23.879 why is this cat being so cranky? And she's just like, 243 00:15:23.879 --> 00:15:29.440 I'm saving your life, you piece of shit. So Missus 244 00:15:29.440 --> 00:15:32.879 Parsons has her head stuck out the window and she's 245 00:15:32.919 --> 00:15:37.440 talking to him when the building gets smashed flat and 246 00:15:37.480 --> 00:15:41.679 it cuts her head off. There. I have been coming 247 00:15:41.759 --> 00:15:44.200 across a few too many things in media that I'm 248 00:15:44.240 --> 00:15:47.360 covering lately where somebody's head gets cut off by a window, 249 00:15:47.799 --> 00:15:49.720 and I'll tell you what, It's got me really fucking 250 00:15:49.759 --> 00:15:53.399 paranoid these days. I really have been sort of like, 251 00:15:53.440 --> 00:15:55.480 maybe I just don't ever want to stick my head 252 00:15:55.480 --> 00:16:00.519 through a window for the rest of my life. It 253 00:16:00.600 --> 00:16:02.960 had the building was there and then gone, but it 254 00:16:03.000 --> 00:16:06.039 hadn't disappeared. It was like the building was a massive 255 00:16:06.120 --> 00:16:09.679 tin can that had been crushed by a giant cosmic boot. 256 00:16:12.039 --> 00:16:15.039 Wind rushed at me and it was instantly dark. The 257 00:16:15.080 --> 00:16:17.879 street lamp just to my left was gone. The buildings 258 00:16:17.879 --> 00:16:20.399 all around me were gone. The cars on the street 259 00:16:20.559 --> 00:16:24.600 were gone too. Everything was gone except the trees and 260 00:16:24.639 --> 00:16:28.000 the bicycles and the bike wrecks and Marjorie Williams moped 261 00:16:28.080 --> 00:16:32.840 that was still booted by parking enforcement. I could barely 262 00:16:32.879 --> 00:16:37.279 see anything except in the distance thanks to the lack 263 00:16:37.320 --> 00:16:42.519 of buildings. A fire burned, there was utter complete silence, 264 00:16:44.840 --> 00:16:49.279 and he says where the cars were parked on the road, 265 00:16:49.360 --> 00:16:53.559 car shaped indentations of dirt appeared as if they'd been 266 00:16:53.679 --> 00:16:56.600 pulled down toward the center of the Earth being ripped 267 00:16:56.639 --> 00:17:04.119 directly through the asphalts, and then he sees Missus Parson's 268 00:17:04.160 --> 00:17:08.119 head by his feet. This is one of those things 269 00:17:08.160 --> 00:17:16.920 where it's such an unbelievably surreal image that I try 270 00:17:17.319 --> 00:17:20.720 and think sometimes when I'm reading things, how would I 271 00:17:20.880 --> 00:17:26.759 have reacted in this particular situation. I really have nothing 272 00:17:27.599 --> 00:17:32.200 on this one. I genuinely have no earthly idea what 273 00:17:32.319 --> 00:17:36.559 the fuck I would do. I mean, he says that 274 00:17:36.599 --> 00:17:38.799 he feels like he wants to throw up, and immediately 275 00:17:38.799 --> 00:17:41.000 I was like, yeah, okay, I could do that. I 276 00:17:41.000 --> 00:17:43.440 could throw up. We could do that. That feels like 277 00:17:43.480 --> 00:17:49.319 a reasonable next step. And then all of a sudden, 278 00:17:49.759 --> 00:17:53.200 a person speaks. And what's fun about the audiobook is 279 00:17:53.240 --> 00:17:58.720 that they do voice effects whenever it's the system speaking 280 00:17:59.200 --> 00:18:02.920 to make them sound more electronic, and so it really 281 00:18:02.920 --> 00:18:05.799 helps to like differentiate things, and I like it. I 282 00:18:05.799 --> 00:18:12.720 think it works really well. Surviving humans take note per 283 00:18:12.759 --> 00:18:15.160 Syndicate Rules sub Section five forty three of the Precious 284 00:18:15.200 --> 00:18:18.160 Elemental Reserves Code. Having failed to file a proper appeal 285 00:18:18.200 --> 00:18:21.119 for mineral and elemental rights within fifty solars of first contact, 286 00:18:21.119 --> 00:18:24.000 your planet has been successfully seized and is currently being 287 00:18:24.039 --> 00:18:27.839 mind of all requested elemental deposits by the assigned planetary Regent. 288 00:18:28.400 --> 00:18:31.039 Every interior of your world has been crushed, and all 289 00:18:31.119 --> 00:18:34.119 raw materials organic and nanimate are in the process of 290 00:18:34.160 --> 00:18:37.720 being mined for the requested elements. Per the Mind Material 291 00:18:37.839 --> 00:18:40.400 Reclamation Act, along with sub Section thirty five of the 292 00:18:40.400 --> 00:18:44.680 Indigenous Planetary Species Protection Act, any surviving humans will be 293 00:18:44.759 --> 00:18:49.200 given the opportunity to reclaim their lost matter. The Borent Corporation, 294 00:18:49.359 --> 00:18:52.680 having been assigned regency over this solar system, is allowed 295 00:18:52.680 --> 00:18:55.240 to choose the manner of this reclamation, and they have 296 00:18:55.400 --> 00:18:59.759 chosen Option three, also known as the eighteen level World Dungeon. 297 00:19:00.279 --> 00:19:04.119 The Borent Corporation retains all rights to broadcast, exploit, and 298 00:19:04.200 --> 00:19:07.400 otherwise control all aspects of the World Dungeon, and will 299 00:19:07.400 --> 00:19:09.599 remain in control as long as they adhere to Syndicate 300 00:19:09.640 --> 00:19:17.160 regulations regarding World resource reclamation. Upon successful completion of Level 301 00:19:17.200 --> 00:19:20.200 eighteen of the World Dungeon, regency of this planet will 302 00:19:20.200 --> 00:19:25.039 revert to the successor a Syndicate Neutral Observer AI myself 303 00:19:25.160 --> 00:19:27.920 has been created and dispatched this planet to supervise the 304 00:19:27.920 --> 00:19:30.359 creation of the World Dungeon and ensure all the rules 305 00:19:30.359 --> 00:19:36.799 and regulations are properly followed. So first of all, the 306 00:19:36.880 --> 00:19:39.960 fact that like it's oh, you didn't you didn't file 307 00:19:40.799 --> 00:19:44.720 your claim for your own resources, and you get to 308 00:19:44.720 --> 00:19:49.240 get your resources back if you want, but you have 309 00:19:49.319 --> 00:19:54.079 to fight in this game show to do it. This 310 00:19:54.200 --> 00:19:56.599 is some of the whitest shit I ever heard of 311 00:19:56.599 --> 00:20:01.839 my life. This is like real colonized, and I'm kind 312 00:20:01.839 --> 00:20:04.839 of loving it because this is just what the shit 313 00:20:05.000 --> 00:20:08.000 that you know what, I'm not gonna do this. I'm 314 00:20:08.000 --> 00:20:11.079 gonna wait and see what happens later because it might 315 00:20:11.079 --> 00:20:14.720 be more relevant. But you guys, the way that we 316 00:20:14.920 --> 00:20:20.519 handle resources on native lands to this day, we act 317 00:20:20.559 --> 00:20:24.200 like all of our bullshit and underhanded dealings is in 318 00:20:24.240 --> 00:20:26.519 the past and that now we've learned our lesson and 319 00:20:27.000 --> 00:20:32.480 it is the biggest scam in the world, the way 320 00:20:32.759 --> 00:20:38.359 that we have found ways to like continue to exploit 321 00:20:38.400 --> 00:20:40.640 these people and pat ourselves on the back like we 322 00:20:40.720 --> 00:20:46.480 are like making reparations anyway. I just the combination of 323 00:20:46.599 --> 00:20:50.559 just you should have filed for your matter. And also 324 00:20:51.279 --> 00:20:55.000 there is an Indigenous Planetary Species Protection Act, but this 325 00:20:55.160 --> 00:20:59.519 is what the act does, which is like doesn't feel 326 00:20:59.519 --> 00:21:04.720 real protect to me, my God. The first level of 327 00:21:04.720 --> 00:21:07.400 this dungeon will open approximately eighteen seconds after the end 328 00:21:07.480 --> 00:21:10.759 of this announcement. First level will be open for one 329 00:21:10.839 --> 00:21:14.799 human hour only. Once entrances are closed, you may no 330 00:21:14.920 --> 00:21:17.880 longer enter. If you enter, you may not leave until 331 00:21:17.920 --> 00:21:20.519 you have completed all eighteen levels or if you meet 332 00:21:20.880 --> 00:21:26.400 or if you meet certain other requirements. They don't say 333 00:21:27.200 --> 00:21:32.440 until you're dead. They should, but they don't. They just 334 00:21:32.519 --> 00:21:38.839 say certain other requirements, which is hilarious. If you choose 335 00:21:38.880 --> 00:21:40.920 not to enter the World Dungeon, you will have to 336 00:21:40.920 --> 00:21:43.519 sustain yourself upon the surface of your planet, and this 337 00:21:43.559 --> 00:21:46.559 may be the last communication you receive during your lifetime. 338 00:21:47.119 --> 00:21:51.519 All previously processed matter and elements are forfeit. However, you 339 00:21:51.599 --> 00:21:55.119 are free to mine and utilize any remaining and naturally 340 00:21:55.160 --> 00:21:59.880 a Korean resources for your own benefit. I don't even 341 00:21:59.920 --> 00:22:05.119 know exactly what falls under that category what counts as 342 00:22:05.160 --> 00:22:10.000 previously processed matter and elements? Like what it sounds like 343 00:22:10.039 --> 00:22:15.759 to me is basically anything that's been manufactured is ours, 344 00:22:16.599 --> 00:22:20.720 and you guys can go mine brand new or but 345 00:22:21.480 --> 00:22:24.799 if it's been built already, that shit's ours, which is 346 00:22:25.599 --> 00:22:28.279 I mean, really, what other option is there? At this 347 00:22:28.319 --> 00:22:35.240 point that to go into the dungeon, and they describe 348 00:22:35.440 --> 00:22:37.839 the number of entrances to each level, and that they 349 00:22:37.839 --> 00:22:40.319 will always decrease by half starting with one hundred and 350 00:22:40.359 --> 00:22:45.839 fifty thousand, and each lower level will have a longer 351 00:22:45.839 --> 00:22:49.519 period of reclamation. It is recommended you immediately find and 352 00:22:49.640 --> 00:22:54.599 utilize the tutorial guild. Multiple tutorial tutorial guilds will be 353 00:22:54.640 --> 00:22:59.839 seated throughout the dungeon on levels one through three. So 354 00:23:02.039 --> 00:23:05.839 at this point, Carl is realizing that he is going 355 00:23:05.839 --> 00:23:09.400 to freeze to death. It's below zero outside. He has 356 00:23:09.480 --> 00:23:12.319 no pants on, he doesn't even have proper shoes on. 357 00:23:13.640 --> 00:23:17.839 And he hears a trumpet blast and he looks and 358 00:23:17.960 --> 00:23:24.240 sees this thrift store that has been smashed to the ground, 359 00:23:24.319 --> 00:23:25.880 so it's no longer there, but the space where it 360 00:23:25.920 --> 00:23:30.759 had been a spotlight pops up. I saw an additional 361 00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:34.160 spotlight appear about a mile away. I saw a few 362 00:23:34.160 --> 00:23:38.680 more littered throughout the city. Even from this distance, I 363 00:23:38.680 --> 00:23:42.039 could feel the warmth radiating from the brightly lit hole 364 00:23:42.079 --> 00:23:48.200 in the ground. So he heads to shelter, which I'm 365 00:23:48.200 --> 00:23:54.000 not mad at. Dungeon floor one time to level collapse 366 00:23:54.519 --> 00:23:59.960 five days start of chapter two. So he heads down 367 00:24:00.200 --> 00:24:04.359 there and he doesn't hear another soul. Doughnut, of course, 368 00:24:04.519 --> 00:24:09.680 is with him, and the stairs go on quite a ways. 369 00:24:11.680 --> 00:24:16.400 They're carved and like have this pattern. It says could 370 00:24:16.400 --> 00:24:19.519 have been fish or maybe demons. The almost Asian looking 371 00:24:19.559 --> 00:24:24.640 carvings gave me an uneasy feeling. These stairs weren't here 372 00:24:24.880 --> 00:24:28.160 just a few minutes ago. The whole thing is made 373 00:24:28.200 --> 00:24:31.400 of buildings and cars and people of the world. Who 374 00:24:31.440 --> 00:24:38.039 did this? How did they do this? So he finally 375 00:24:38.039 --> 00:24:43.880 gets to the bottom, there's a door and a box 376 00:24:44.000 --> 00:24:47.400 pops up into his site. So what we're getting is, 377 00:24:47.559 --> 00:24:50.759 you know, the player view in a video game, and 378 00:24:50.880 --> 00:24:53.480 he has to learn how to control these boxes and 379 00:24:53.720 --> 00:24:56.960 options and stuff with his mind and learn how to 380 00:24:57.039 --> 00:25:01.599 navigate them only by thinking about them. So this winds 381 00:25:01.640 --> 00:25:04.880 up taking him some practice a little bit later. But 382 00:25:05.640 --> 00:25:08.599 this is a rendition of Kua Tin, the dominant species 383 00:25:08.640 --> 00:25:11.640 of the boring system and principal owner of the Borran Corporation. 384 00:25:12.240 --> 00:25:15.039 Make sure you recognize these guys. There'll be a test later. 385 00:25:15.720 --> 00:25:19.200 Was that last part supposed to be a joke? I 386 00:25:19.240 --> 00:25:23.200 don't think so. I don't think so. I just don't. 387 00:25:23.640 --> 00:25:30.400 I don't know, so he opens the door and U 388 00:25:30.799 --> 00:25:37.720 fucking Donut bites his hand and he gets greeted a timer. 389 00:25:38.160 --> 00:25:44.319 Four days, twenty three hours, and forty eight minutes. Crawler 390 00:25:44.640 --> 00:25:49.599 number four thousand, one hundred and nineteen Princess Donut Level 391 00:25:49.640 --> 00:25:54.799 one Race Cat class not yet assigned. You have been 392 00:25:54.839 --> 00:25:58.839 designated Crawler number four one hundred twenty two. You have 393 00:25:58.920 --> 00:26:03.039 been assigned the crawler Carl. You are assigned the race 394 00:26:03.079 --> 00:26:06.359 of Human. You are currently level one. You may choose 395 00:26:06.359 --> 00:26:08.519 a new race and class as soon as you descend 396 00:26:08.519 --> 00:26:11.240 the third floor. Your stat points have been assigned based 397 00:26:11.279 --> 00:26:14.359 on your current physical and mental profile. See the stat 398 00:26:14.400 --> 00:26:19.279 menu for more details. Congratulations, you've earned your first achievement. 399 00:26:19.519 --> 00:26:23.160 Crazy Cat Lady. You've entered the World Dungeon accompanied by 400 00:26:23.160 --> 00:26:28.680 a cat. Ah isn't that sweet? Reward? You've received Bronze 401 00:26:28.720 --> 00:26:34.200