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Speaker 1: Plus Welcome to grief making sense of it. I'm Dylan.
Speaker 1: If guilt has been showing up after someone you love died,
Speaker 1: Those what if thoughts can arrive without warning and settle
Speaker 1: in for hours. They often feel heavy because they tie
Speaker 1: back to the care you held for that person. Today
Speaker 1: we turn to an episode titled Grief Guilt after Death
Speaker 1: Five minute Practice for what if thoughts. The practice itself
Speaker 1: takes only five minutes and can fit into a quiet
Speaker 1: morning moment or a restless evening. We move at a
Speaker 1: calm pace because the goal is simply to give those
Speaker 1: thoughts a place to land, rather than push them aside.
Speaker 1: Guilt after a death shows up in many forms. You
Speaker 1: might replay conversations or wonder about choices made in the
Speaker 1: final days. Here is the thing, Those loops do not
Speaker 1: prove anything was wrong with you. Instead, they often speak
Speaker 1: to the depth of the bond that was lost. Meanwhile,
Speaker 1: the short practice ahead offers one steady way to notice
Speaker 1: the thoughts without letting them take over the whole day.
Speaker 1: In other words, we begin by recognizing what is already present. Actually,
Speaker 1: this recognition alone can soften the edge of the guilt
Speaker 1: because it removes the extra layer of fighting the feeling.
Speaker 1: For example, you might name the thought as a grief
Speaker 1: guilt moment and then shift into the exercise that follows.
Speaker 1: The reality is no single practice removes the guilt entirely.
Speaker 1: Plus it can still give a few minutes of steadier
Speaker 1: ground when the questions feel loudest. Ultimately, the topic of
Speaker 1: grief guilt deserves this kind of direct attention because it
Speaker 1: shows up so often after a death. We start that
Speaker 1: focus now. These what if thoughts often arrive without warning
Speaker 1: after a death, and they settle in as grief guilt.
Speaker 1: They sound like quiet questions about what might have gone differently,
Speaker 1: or what someone could have done instead. Because grief already
Speaker 1: carries so much weight, these extra layers of second guessing
Speaker 1: can make ordinary days feel even harder to move through.
Speaker 1: Megan Divine writes in It's Okay that You're Not Okay
Speaker 1: that these thoughts belong to the reality of loss rather
Speaker 1: than to any personal failing. Her words remind us that
Speaker 1: the mind keeps turning over details because the heart still
Speaker 1: searches for a way to protect the person who is gone.
Speaker 1: That search shows up in many different situations. Someone might
Speaker 1: replay a final conversation and wonder if one more phone
Speaker 1: call would have changed the outcome. Another person might fixate
Speaker 1: on a choice made weeks earlier and ask why they
Speaker 1: did not notice small sign sooner. The content of the
Speaker 1: thoughts varies, yet the pattern stays the same. The mind
Speaker 1: returns to the same moments because the connection mattered deeply.
Speaker 1: While these loops feel isolating, they rarely stay hidden for long.
Speaker 1: Friends and family sometimes hear the same questions repeated in
Speaker 1: different forms. The repetition itself can become another source of
Speaker 1: frustration because it seems like nothing settles the mind. Yet
Speaker 1: the thoughts keep returning, precisely because the loss remains present.
Speaker 1: In today's episode, we turn toward one short practice that
Speaker 1: meets these what if thoughts where they already live. The
Speaker 1: practice does not aim to erase the questions. Instead, it
Speaker 1: offers a brief way to notice them without letting them
Speaker 1: take over an entire morning or evening. We will walk
Speaker 1: through the steps together once we have looked at how
Speaker 1: grief guilt shows up in real life. Consider the case
Speaker 1: of a woman who lost her brother after a sudden illness.
Speaker 1: She found herself returning again and again to the afternoon
Speaker 1: she chose not to drive across town. She kept asking
Speaker 1: what would have happened if she had left work early
Speaker 1: and spent those extra hours beside him. The question followed
Speaker 1: her into the grocery store and into quiet evenings at home.
Speaker 1: Each time it surfaced, she felt the same tightness in
Speaker 1: her chest and the same sense that she had missed
Speaker 1: something essential. Her experience mirrors many others because the details change,
Speaker 1: but the ache stays familiar. She tried to reason with
Speaker 1: the thought, and she tried to push it away, Yet
Speaker 1: neither approach brought relief. The thought simply waited for the
Speaker 1: next quiet moment and returned with the same force. Meanwhile,
Speaker 1: another listener described a similar loop after losing a partner
Speaker 1: to a long illness. He wondered whether different medication choices
Speaker 1: made months earlier would have extended their time together. The
Speaker 1: question arrived most often at night, when the house grew still.
Speaker 1: He noticed that the thought carried both sorrow for the
Speaker 1: past and a wish to rewrite it. Stories like these
Speaker 1: illustrate how grief guilt attaches itself to ordinary decisions that
Speaker 1: once felt small. The mind treats those decisions as unfinished
Speaker 1: business because the relationship itself feels unfinished. Because the thoughts
Speaker 1: arrive without invitation, they deserve a response that matches their
Speaker 1: quiet persistence. The short practice we will reach in a
Speaker 1: moment gives the mind something concrete to do when the
Speaker 1: questions begin. It does not promise the questions will disappear.
Speaker 1: It simply provides a place to set them down for
Speaker 1: a few minutes so the rest of the day can continue.
Speaker 1: The woman who lost her brother eventually tried a version
Speaker 1: of this practice on a morning when the what if
Speaker 1: thought appeared while she made coffee. She noticed the thought
Speaker 1: and named it briefly as the same question she had
Speaker 1: heard many times before. Then, she placed her attention on
Speaker 1: the warmth of the mug in her hands and on
Speaker 1: the sound of the kettle cooling. The thought stayed near by,
Speaker 1: yet it lost some of its grip once she gave
Speaker 1: it a small space instead of a large argument. Her
Speaker 1: experience shows one way the practice can sit alongside the guilt,
Speaker 1: rather than against it. The same approach can apply to
Speaker 1: bedtime waves, or to moments when the fog of the
Speaker 1: day makes everything feel distant. We will explore those steps next,
Speaker 1: because they grow directly from the way grief guilt already
Speaker 1: moves through daily life. She kept thinking about the last
Speaker 1: conversation with her brother. The call came on a Tuesday evening,
Speaker 1: and she had been tired from work. She answered, but
Speaker 1: the talk stayed short because she wanted to rest before
Speaker 1: an early meeting the next day. Two days later, the
Speaker 1: illness took him quickly, and the questions started right away.
Speaker 1: What if she had stayed on the phone longer. What
Speaker 1: if she had noticed something in his voice that night?
Speaker 1: What if she had driven over instead of saying good night?
Speaker 1: So soon these thoughts arrived in the quiet parts of
Speaker 1: her day, They showed up while she made coffee or
Speaker 1: sordid mail. Each one led to the next without much
Speaker 1: space between them. Her shoulders grew tight and her breathing
Speaker 1: felt shallow. As the same words circled back. She would
Speaker 1: try to push them away, yet they returned with the
Speaker 1: same force. The loop did not change the facts, but
Speaker 1: it held her attention anyway. She felt the weight in
Speaker 1: her chest and the fog in her mind at the
Speaker 1: same time. Meanwhile, the days moved forward with their usual tasks.
Speaker 1: She went to work and spoke with friends, yet the
Speaker 1: questions stayed close. They came strongest in the evening, when
Speaker 1: the house grew still. She would sit with a book
Speaker 1: and find her thoughts drifting back to that call. The
Speaker 1: details stayed clear, even though she wished they would fade.
Speaker 1: Her hands would rest on the page without turning it
Speaker 1: because the mind stayed busy with the same what ifs.
Speaker 1: Although she knew the illness moved fast, the mind kept
Speaker 1: looking for a different ending. She wondered to if one
Speaker 1: more question during the call could have changed something. The
Speaker 1: thought felt heavy because it mixed care with the ache
Speaker 1: of not knowing. Her stomach tightened each time the idea returned.
Speaker 1: She noticed the pattern after several nights of the same cycle.
Speaker 1: The body carried the tension while the thoughts repeated without
Speaker 1: new answers. Since the loss, she had tried to focus
Speaker 1: on other things. She cleaned the kitchen or took a walk,
Speaker 1: yet the questions found their way back. The loop felt
Speaker 1: familiar after a while, even though she did not want
Speaker 1: it there. It arrived without warning and stayed until something
Speaker 1: else pulled her attention. She would stand at the window
Speaker 1: and watch the street while the mind played the call again.
Speaker 1: The words stayed the same, and the feeling in her
Speaker 1: body stayed the same too. Eventually she reached a point
Speaker 1: where the weight of the loop became too much to
Speaker 1: carry alone. She wanted away, to meet the thoughts without
Speaker 1: letting them take the whole evening. The search for relief
Speaker 1: started there, because the cycle had worn on her for weeks.
Speaker 1: She looked for something small that could fit into the
Speaker 1: moments when the questions grew loud. This kind of loop
Speaker 1: shows up often after a death because the mind tries
Speaker 1: to find control in a situation that offered none. The
Speaker 1: details differ from one person to the next, yet the
Speaker 1: pattern of returning questions stays similar. The body responds with
Speaker 1: tension while the thoughts keep circling the same ground. We'll
Speaker 1: pause here for a short break and return soon with
Speaker 1: a simple practice that can meet these thoughts when they arrive.
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Speaker 1: Guilt after a death often shows up through repetitive mental
Speaker 1: replay because the mind keeps circling back to certain moments.
Speaker 1: In the case of the woman who lost her brother,
Speaker 1: the thoughts return to their last conversation again and again.
Speaker 1: She wondered what she might have said differently, or whether
Speaker 1: she could have noticed something sooner. These replays feel heavy
Speaker 1: because they mix regret with the sense that something should
Speaker 1: have changed. However, the feeling of guilt does not equal
Speaker 1: actual responsibility for the outcome. The illness moved quickly, and
Speaker 1: no single conversation could have altered that path. Distinguishing the
Speaker 1: two helps because the mind sometimes treats every what if
Speaker 1: as proof of fault when the events sat outside anyone's control. Meanwhile,
Speaker 1: these thoughts arrive without warning, and they do not follow
Speaker 1: a fixed timeline. Although some days pass more quietly, the
Speaker 1: loops can return during ordinary tasks, such as washing dishes
Speaker 1: or walking to the car. Since the law, she had
Speaker 1: tried to focus on other things, yet the mind kept
Speaker 1: searching for a different ending. Therefore, the absence of a
Speaker 1: set schedule matters because it means the experience stays personal
Speaker 1: rather than following any expected order. People notice similar patterns
Speaker 1: after many kinds of death because the ache searches for
Speaker 1: answers even when none exist. In fact, the replay serves
Speaker 1: as one way the heart tries to make sense of
Speaker 1: the sudden change. While the days move forward with their
Speaker 1: usual demands, the inner questions stayed close. Although she reached
Speaker 1: a point where the weight became too much to carry alone,
Speaker 1: the thoughts themselves carried no timeline requirement. Instead, they showed
Speaker 1: up in the quiet parts of the day and sometimes
Speaker 1: during moments that once felt ordinary. Because the search for
Speaker 1: a different ending feels so personal, it can leave someone
Speaker 1: believing they stand apart from others who have faced loss. However,
Speaker 1: many listeners recognize the same pattern because the details change
Speaker 1: while the ache remains familiar. The reality is that these
Speaker 1: mental loops do not prove responsibility, and they do not
Speaker 1: mark any stage that must be completed. Since no fixed
Speaker 1: timeline governs when the thoughts ease or return, the experience
Speaker 1: stays open ended. Therefore, patience with the mind becomes part
Speaker 1: of living alongside the loss, rather than a task with
Speaker 1: an end point. Although the woman in the story eventually
Speaker 1: spoke with others who understood the same loop, the thoughts
Speaker 1: continued to visit at their own pace. Meanwhile, ordinary routines
Speaker 1: kept moving, and the replays sometimes interrupted them without warning.
Speaker 1: Because the distinction between guilt and responsibility stays important, it
Speaker 1: helps to name the difference out loud. When the loop begins,
Speaker 1: the mind may insist that a different word or action
Speaker 1: would have mattered, yet the facts of the illness stand
Speaker 1: separate from that insistence. In other words, the replay reflects
Speaker 1: the pain of absence more than any actual control over events.
Speaker 1: Although the days continued their usual tasks, the inner questions returned.
Speaker 1: Because loss leave space for them. Therefore, allowing the thoughts
Speaker 1: to exist without immediate judgment offers one way to meet
Speaker 1: them where they already live. People find these replays appearing
Speaker 1: during morning routines or late at night, because the mind
Speaker 1: uses quiet moments to review what cannot be changed. While
Speaker 1: the search for answers feels urgent, it does not follow
Speaker 1: any schedule set by outside expectations. Since the loss, she
Speaker 1: had tried to focus elsewhere, yet the ache pulled her
Speaker 1: back to the last conversation. However, recognizing that the feel
Speaker 1: feeling of guilt does not equal responsibility allows room for
Speaker 1: both the thought and the truth to sit side by side.
Speaker 1: In fact, this recognition can arrive gradually because the mind
Speaker 1: needs time to separate the two even when the facts
Speaker 1: remain clear. Although these thoughts do not follow a fixed timeline,
Speaker 1: they often connect to specific triggers, such as a certain
Speaker 1: time of day or an object that recalls the person
Speaker 1: who died. Therefore, noticing the trigger without trying to push
Speaker 1: it away becomes part of the process. The woman in
Speaker 1: the story notice the thoughts during quiet parts of her day,
Speaker 1: and that pattern repeated for others who shared similar losses.
Speaker 1: Because the experience stays individual, it resists any single description,
Speaker 1: yet the core elements of replay and the search for
Speaker 1: a different ending appear often. Meanwhile, daily life continues, and
Speaker 1: the loops visit alongside it, rather than in place of it.
Speaker 1: Listeners who recognize this pattern may find com effort in
Speaker 1: knowing the thoughts carry no requirement to resolve on a
Speaker 1: particular schedule. Instead, they can return or soften at their
Speaker 1: own pace, while ordinary tasks fill the hours. Although the
Speaker 1: weight sometimes feels too much, the distinction between guilt and
Speaker 1: responsibility remains available each time the replay begins. Therefore, the
Speaker 1: next part of this episode turns to examples from the community,
Speaker 1: where others describe how these what if thoughts showed up
Speaker 1: in their own lives. To close this portion, try a
Speaker 1: short evening grief naming practice that takes less than five minutes.
Speaker 1: Sit quietly and speak the name of one thing you
Speaker 1: wish had gone differently. Then follow it with one fact
Speaker 1: you know to be true about the illness or event itself.
Speaker 1: Repeat once if the thought returns, and then stop. Many
Speaker 1: listeners reach out after hearing about these loops because the
Speaker 1: experience lands close to home. One person described losing a
Speaker 1: partner to a long illness and wrote that the mind
Speaker 1: keeps returning to the choice not to push for one
Speaker 1: more test. The note said the thought arrives right after
Speaker 1: waking and stays through the first cup of coffee. Another
Speaker 1: listener shared the moment after a parent passed and wondered
Speaker 1: whether a different phone call the week before would have
Speaker 1: changed the outcome. The words on the page stayed short,
Speaker 1: yet the feeling of being caught in place came through clearly.
Speaker 1: A third note spoke of a sibling who died suddenly
Speaker 1: and the replay of the last argument that never got resolved.
Speaker 1: Each message carried the same quiet weight of circling without
Speaker 1: a way to step aside. These accounts sit side by
Speaker 1: side because the stuck sensation shows up across different losses.
Speaker 1: The details shift, yet the sense of being held inside
Speaker 1: the same few sentences repeats. While the mind keeps offering
Speaker 1: new angles, the heart stays fixed on what might have
Speaker 1: been different. Meanwhile, the ordinary parts of the day still
Speaker 1: ask for attention, even though the loop makes every small
Speaker 1: task feel heavier. Since these thoughts arrive without warning, they
Speaker 1: interrupt whatever else is happening and then linger. The reality
Speaker 1: is that many people recognize this pattern once they hear
Speaker 1: someone else name it out loud. In fact, the letters
Speaker 1: often end with the same simple question of how to
Speaker 1: keep living inside the day when the replay starts again.
Speaker 1: Because the feeling of being stuck does not come with
Speaker 1: an obvious exit, the next step is to meet the
Speaker 1: thought where it already lives, rather than trying to push
Speaker 1: it away. Therefore, a short practice can sit beside the
Speaker 1: loop instead of fighting it. One way to answer these
Speaker 1: what if thoughts begins with a brief pause that uses
Speaker 1: the breath in a gentle reminder. The approach is called
Speaker 1: grief what if grounding, and it takes five minutes or less.
Speaker 1: It starts by noticing the current moment without needing to
Speaker 1: change the thought that arrived. Then it moves to naming
Speaker 1: three things that are true right now in the room
Speaker 1: or in the body. After that, the practice returns to
Speaker 1: the breath for a few slow cycles, while allowing the
Speaker 1: replay to stay in the background if it chooses. The
Speaker 1: point is not to erase the loop, but to place
Speaker 1: one small anchor alongside it so the day can continue.
Speaker 1: This kind of response grows out of the same understanding
Speaker 1: that these mental replays serve as one way the heart
Speaker 1: tries to make sense of sudden change. Although the loop
Speaker 1: does not prove responsibility, it still deserves a steady place
Speaker 1: to rest. Therefore, the five minute practice offers a repeatable
Speaker 1: way to stay present with whatever arrives. Meanwhile, the ordinary
Speaker 1: tasks of the morning or the evening can move forward
Speaker 1: even while the thought remains nearby. In other words, the
Speaker 1: practice does not demand that the guilt disappear. It simply
Speaker 1: creates room for both the thought and the next small
Speaker 1: action at the same time. That brief pause forms the
Speaker 1: start of grief what if grounding because it meets the
Speaker 1: looping thoughts right where they arrive after a death. Researchers
Speaker 1: at the Greater Good Science Center found in their twenty
Speaker 1: twenty report on self compassion that a short, structured pause
Speaker 1: helps ease the pre pressure of repetitive guilt without forcing
Speaker 1: the thoughts away. The practice takes five minutes in total,
Speaker 1: and it works whether you stand in a kitchen or
Speaker 1: sit on a bus seat, since it needs no special
Speaker 1: tools or quiet room. Begin with two minutes of steady breathing.
Speaker 1: Place one hand on your chest if that feels steady,
Speaker 1: and draw air in slowly through the nose. Then release
Speaker 1: it through the mouth while counting each cycle to four.
Speaker 1: The breath gives the mind a single anchor, while the
Speaker 1: what if thoughts continue in the background, and this step
Speaker 1: simply creates space around them. Move next into two minutes
Speaker 1: of a gentle reminder drawn from self compassion. Say to yourself,
Speaker 1: in a low voice or in your mind, that the
Speaker 1: thought belongs to grief, and that you can hold it
Speaker 1: with the same patience you would offer a friend. Repeat
Speaker 1: the reminder once or twice during the two minutes, because
Speaker 1: the words do not need to replace the guilt, but
Speaker 1: only sit beside it for a moment. Finish with one
Speaker 1: minute of simple noticing. Open your eyes if they were closed,
Speaker 1: and name three ordinary objects within reach, such as the
Speaker 1: edge of a table or the feel of fabric against
Speaker 1: your arm. This final minute returns attention to the room
Speaker 1: without requiring any change in the thoughts themselves. The three
Speaker 1: steps stay flexible because the timing serves only as a guide,
Speaker 1: and you can shorten or lengthen any part on a
Speaker 1: given day. Since the practice relies on breath and a
Speaker 1: phrase you already carry inside you, it fits into ordinary moments,
Speaker 1: such as waiting at a stoplight or standing in line
Speaker 1: at a store. Although the what if thoughts may return later,
Speaker 1: the five minutes still count as a response rather than
Speaker 1: a failure because they mark one small act of turning
Speaker 1: toward the grief instead of battling it. Listeners often find
Speaker 1: that the breathing step alone interrupts the sharpest edge of
Speaker 1: the loop, while the reminder step softens the self blame
Speaker 1: that follows. Meanwhile, the noticing step prevents the mind from
Speaker 1: drifting into longer rumination once the minutes end. Because the
Speaker 1: whole sequence stays short, it leaves room for the rest
Speaker 1: of the day to unfold without an expectation that the
Speaker 1: guilt must disappear. The approach draws directly from the understanding
Speaker 1: that these mental replays arrive without warning and do not
Speaker 1: prove responsibility. In other words, the practice offers a brief
Speaker 1: structure that honors the ache while adding one layer of
Speaker 1: kindness drawn from the report on self compassion. You may
Speaker 1: notice during the reminder step that certain phrases feel more
Speaker 1: natural than others, and that adjustment belongs to you alone,
Speaker 1: since no single wording fits every loss. While the steps
Speaker 1: remain simple, they still require no performance or perfect focus
Speaker 1: because the goal centers on presence rather than achievement. Instead,
Speaker 1: the practice simply creates a short interval where the heart
Speaker 1: can acknowledge the thought and then continue with whatever comes
Speaker 1: next in the afternoon or evening. So though some days
Speaker 1: the five minutes may feel longer than others, the structure
Speaker 1: still holds because it asks only for the time you
Speaker 1: already have. You do not have to do the practice.
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Speaker 1: Terms and conditions apply perfectly. We'll pause here for a
Speaker 1: short break and return soon with more thoughts on carrying
Speaker 1: these moments forward. After the breathing settles, the body. The
Speaker 1: next part of grief what if grounding turns toward a
Speaker 1: gentle reminder drawn from self compassion. This step holds space
Speaker 1: for the simple fact that guilt after a death does
Speaker 1: not mean the person failed in their care or their choices.
Speaker 1: The mind may keep circling because it wants to protect
Speaker 1: what mattered. However, that loop does not prove any shortcoming
Speaker 1: on the listener side. Instead, it reflects how deeply the
Speaker 1: bond ran and how sudden the change felt. While the
Speaker 1: reminder sits with that truth, a short phrase can help
Speaker 1: steady the thoughts. Once the two minutes of breathing finish,
Speaker 1: the phrase goes like this, my care was real, even
Speaker 1: when the outcome stayed outside my hands. That line gives
Speaker 1: the mind one place to land without pushing the what
Speaker 1: if thoughts away. It fits right after the breath work
Speaker 1: because the body already feels a little steadier by then.
Speaker 1: Patience with the mind counts as part of the process too.
Speaker 1: The replay arrives because the heart keeps reaching for a
Speaker 1: different ending. Although the practice offers a brief pause, it
Speaker 1: also allows room for the truth that some endings stay
Speaker 1: beyond reach. Therefore, returning to the phrase once more can
Speaker 1: soften the edges without erasing what still feels heavy right now. Meanwhile,
Speaker 1: the final minute of noticing brings attention back to the
Speaker 1: present breath or the sounds in the room. Since the
Speaker 1: whole sequence stays around five minutes, it works in the
Speaker 1: quiet before the day starts, or in a short break
Speaker 1: later on. The reality stays that each time the practice
Speaker 1: meets those looping thoughts, it builds one small habit of
Speaker 1: turning toward kindness instead of away from it. On top
Speaker 1: of that, the encouragement comes from knowing these moments add
Speaker 1: up over time. Although the loops may return, the patients
Speaker 1: practiced in these minutes stays available whenever needed. In fact,
Speaker 1: that patience reminds us the mind works hard to make
Speaker 1: sense of what happened. Therefore cares carying. The short phrase
Speaker 1: forward offers one steady point when the day feels uncertain,
Speaker 1: that practice we walked through meets those what if thoughts
Speaker 1: right where they land after a loss. The breathing settles
Speaker 1: the body first, Then the reminder brings in a bit
Speaker 1: of kindness towards the mind. Finally, the noticing returns attention
Speaker 1: to what sits right in front of you. At that moment.
Speaker 1: Because these loops often return without warning, the steps stays
Speaker 1: short enough to reach for on any given day. If
Speaker 1: this podcast helps you make sense of your shit, join
Speaker 1: our supporters Club for three dollars a month. Add free
Speaker 1: listening and early episodes come with it. Independent media only
Speaker 1: stays alive when listeners back it. You can find the
Speaker 1: link to join in the episode description. Next week we
Speaker 1: turn to grief and the quiet reminders that surface during
Speaker 1: ordinary errands. Meanwhile, if the practice we covered today feels
Speaker 1: worth trying, give it one go sometime this week. Even
Speaker 1: a single round can show whether it fits the moments
Speaker 1: when guilt circles back, the hope here rests in small
Speaker 1: steady returns to the present rather than any full release
Speaker 1: of the ache.
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