WEBVTT 1 00:00:12.880 --> 00:00:20.920 Welcome to Destiny. Now here's your host, Cliff Dunning. Perfect 2 00:00:21.079 --> 00:00:23.879 perfect day. I'm looking out the window. The sun is out, 3 00:00:24.000 --> 00:00:29.280 the sky is clear, and it's warming up, Yes, warming up, 4 00:00:29.320 --> 00:00:34.159 meaning spring is coming. Spring is here soon. And I 5 00:00:34.200 --> 00:00:37.560 can tell you I can't I can't get here soon 6 00:00:37.679 --> 00:00:39.479 enough for me. I don't know about you, but this 7 00:00:39.560 --> 00:00:46.520 has been an incredibly cold winter and it seems to 8 00:00:46.560 --> 00:00:50.119 be longer than normal for us here in northern California. 9 00:00:50.200 --> 00:00:54.799 It's been very, very icy, uncomfortable to go out hiking, 10 00:00:54.920 --> 00:00:57.399 and this is something that I do routinely, even in 11 00:00:57.479 --> 00:01:02.359 bad weather. So it's a to wenture to remember if 12 00:01:02.359 --> 00:01:04.680 you could go there with that. Hey, this is Cliff, 13 00:01:04.719 --> 00:01:06.879 your host of Destiny. I hope you're doing well today. 14 00:01:07.799 --> 00:01:10.840 You know, we're struggling with our politics here in the 15 00:01:10.959 --> 00:01:14.239 United States right now. We have some big changes in 16 00:01:14.280 --> 00:01:18.120 the wind and we're so divided. Half of us are 17 00:01:18.159 --> 00:01:22.560 happy with the current administration. Another part of the population 18 00:01:23.200 --> 00:01:26.480 equal number of people are unhappy with But how do 19 00:01:26.560 --> 00:01:28.200 we get along? How do we get along? We're going 20 00:01:28.239 --> 00:01:31.560 to talk about this today with my guests. And you know, 21 00:01:32.040 --> 00:01:35.239 when you have love in your heart, when you are 22 00:01:36.599 --> 00:01:42.239 not trying to spark anger or belittle people, and I 23 00:01:42.400 --> 00:01:46.480 follow I follow into this category myself. When you can 24 00:01:46.560 --> 00:01:50.480 just be neutral and try to just you know, sustain 25 00:01:51.959 --> 00:01:55.319 as much good feeling as you can, then it's easier 26 00:01:55.319 --> 00:01:58.560 for people to hang around you. I mean, I have 27 00:01:59.239 --> 00:02:04.879 friends and and family that have disowned their relatives, disowned 28 00:02:04.879 --> 00:02:08.439 their friends because of the changes that have gone on 29 00:02:08.639 --> 00:02:15.039 in the political scene here. It's radical. I mentioned ahead 30 00:02:15.080 --> 00:02:19.840 of time when Donald Trump became our new president that 31 00:02:19.919 --> 00:02:23.680 I would be wait and see. I'm still feeling that 32 00:02:23.719 --> 00:02:28.199 way right now. There are so many changes that are happening. 33 00:02:29.000 --> 00:02:31.120 I would think that in the next year, or by 34 00:02:31.159 --> 00:02:34.199 the end of the next year, the first year of 35 00:02:34.840 --> 00:02:39.240 Trump's presidency, We're going to see radical changes. And I'm 36 00:02:39.280 --> 00:02:40.919 not going to say either going to be good or 37 00:02:40.960 --> 00:02:44.800 back as nobody knows. Nobody really knows, because there is 38 00:02:44.840 --> 00:02:48.360 a somewhat of a deconstruction going on. But my point 39 00:02:48.479 --> 00:02:52.479 in mentioning politics, and I've promised again, I've promised not 40 00:02:52.520 --> 00:02:56.400 to talk about politics for a number of years. But 41 00:02:56.479 --> 00:02:59.680 the point I'm trying to make is when you can 42 00:03:00.240 --> 00:03:05.879 stay open, stay mindful of those around you, then I 43 00:03:05.919 --> 00:03:15.360 think there's more room for an awareness for contemplation for discussion, 44 00:03:17.080 --> 00:03:21.319 and it has not been that way since November of 45 00:03:21.439 --> 00:03:26.319 last year. We're deeply, deeply divided, and we can't continue 46 00:03:26.360 --> 00:03:30.919 this because we are a unified body of souls that 47 00:03:30.960 --> 00:03:33.479 make up the United States of America, and so that 48 00:03:33.520 --> 00:03:37.240 what we need to do is try to come together 49 00:03:37.280 --> 00:03:42.199 as much as we can without taking in anyone's paradigm, 50 00:03:42.800 --> 00:03:51.919 taking another person's belief, but staying open and hopeful is 51 00:03:51.960 --> 00:03:54.439 the best term I can come up with when we 52 00:03:54.560 --> 00:04:00.840 discuss the current political climate in the United States. Today's 53 00:04:00.879 --> 00:04:03.199 program is with an author who's written a number of books. 54 00:04:03.199 --> 00:04:06.960 He's actually a screenwriter as well and had his movie option. 55 00:04:07.199 --> 00:04:09.400 The book we're talking about today is called Big Love, 56 00:04:09.520 --> 00:04:14.199 The Power of Living with a Wide Open Heart. And 57 00:04:14.240 --> 00:04:19.279 my guess is Scott Stable, and he's written before. He's 58 00:04:19.480 --> 00:04:23.480 got a monstrous following on Facebook. He's got over three 59 00:04:23.600 --> 00:04:26.839 hundred and fifty thousand people who are listening to what 60 00:04:26.879 --> 00:04:29.600 he has to say. And today we're going to talk 61 00:04:29.639 --> 00:04:36.319 about his crises, his transformation from a devastating childhood where 62 00:04:36.319 --> 00:04:41.480 he dealt with the murder of his parents and then 63 00:04:41.600 --> 00:04:44.439 the death of his brother from an overdose of heroin 64 00:04:45.480 --> 00:04:51.759 and just chronic problems. He just was terribly consumed with 65 00:04:52.040 --> 00:04:57.399 grief and upset, fear, and how to move beyond that, 66 00:04:57.920 --> 00:05:03.759 how to move beyond those times where things are just overwhelming. 67 00:05:04.560 --> 00:05:07.720 And I've been there. I've been there too. I've had 68 00:05:08.399 --> 00:05:10.800 deaths in the family that were so devastating. I was 69 00:05:10.879 --> 00:05:14.959 no good for years, or for at least many months. 70 00:05:16.160 --> 00:05:22.399 And then how it kind of ricochets and continues on 71 00:05:22.519 --> 00:05:28.120 with other little problems that seem insurmountable at times. I mean, 72 00:05:28.439 --> 00:05:30.920 have you ever had a period in your life where 73 00:05:31.519 --> 00:05:34.519 every little thing just didn't seem to go right, that 74 00:05:34.639 --> 00:05:36.519 you felt like you were a failure, that you were 75 00:05:36.519 --> 00:05:40.600 depressed all the time. It's snowballs, you know, it grows 76 00:05:40.639 --> 00:05:42.199 and grows, and it's like, how do I get the 77 00:05:42.240 --> 00:05:46.040 hell out of this? So this is something we're going 78 00:05:46.120 --> 00:05:49.920 to talk about today with my guest. No. One of 79 00:05:49.920 --> 00:05:52.279 the things I do want to mention is that I 80 00:05:52.439 --> 00:05:55.360 believe that everybody should try to do some form of 81 00:05:55.439 --> 00:06:00.000 meditation every day, and if you can't use intention as 82 00:06:00.120 --> 00:06:04.560 much as possible. I intend for this job to happen. 83 00:06:04.720 --> 00:06:11.480 This I intend, I intend for this, this activity to blossom, 84 00:06:11.920 --> 00:06:15.600 this job lead to turn out to be a good 85 00:06:15.680 --> 00:06:21.120 new work situation, this new relationship to grow and to 86 00:06:21.240 --> 00:06:24.839 be loving if you use intention, and we don't, and 87 00:06:24.920 --> 00:06:28.759 we haven't really focused enough on using the intention. It's 88 00:06:28.800 --> 00:06:35.600 more of a recent conveyance. It's reprogramming. It's it's setting 89 00:06:35.639 --> 00:06:38.360 in some new software in the master computer, which is 90 00:06:38.399 --> 00:06:41.040 the brain, and asking it to give us more of 91 00:06:41.079 --> 00:06:44.680 what we want. When we intend to have something happen, 92 00:06:44.839 --> 00:06:49.000 when we intend to have a good outcome from a situation, 93 00:06:49.759 --> 00:06:53.199 we are more actively thinking about that than in any 94 00:06:53.240 --> 00:06:56.800 other time. And so when you are able to intend 95 00:06:57.439 --> 00:07:01.600 on a positive outcome, you can actually make that happen. 96 00:07:01.839 --> 00:07:05.680 And the more you do it, the more consistently the 97 00:07:05.720 --> 00:07:10.680 reality that you want to create actually occurs. But today 98 00:07:10.680 --> 00:07:14.480 we're talking about dealing with fear, dealing with trauma, and 99 00:07:14.680 --> 00:07:19.759 dealing with political situations that are a challenge. And the 100 00:07:19.800 --> 00:07:23.319 program again is big love, the power of living and 101 00:07:23.480 --> 00:07:27.040 with a wide open heart. And my guest is author 102 00:07:27.279 --> 00:07:34.439 screenwriter Scott Stable. Hey, spring is just around the corner 103 00:07:34.680 --> 00:07:37.199 where there's going to be getting better and better as 104 00:07:37.240 --> 00:07:40.079 we continue on into the year, and this means it's 105 00:07:40.079 --> 00:07:43.120 time to think about getting away on a vacation. Earth 106 00:07:43.279 --> 00:07:48.120 Ancients has the best tours you could ever imagine, and 107 00:07:48.199 --> 00:07:52.720 we are talking about Turkey in summer June twenty second 108 00:07:52.759 --> 00:07:57.079 through July second. This is our second annual tour to 109 00:07:57.279 --> 00:07:59.920 this amazing city. We all land and meet in Istam 110 00:08:00.680 --> 00:08:03.839 and for eleven days we tour some of the most 111 00:08:03.879 --> 00:08:08.160 amazing sights in all of Middle East. We're talking the 112 00:08:08.279 --> 00:08:14.000 underground city of darren Kuru, Cappadocia, go Beckley Tepee and 113 00:08:14.120 --> 00:08:16.680 even Carahan Teppy. This is a place that is very 114 00:08:16.720 --> 00:08:19.720 much off limits to a lot of people except Earth Ancients. 115 00:08:20.519 --> 00:08:25.279 Our tours are literally half fifty percent less than what 116 00:08:25.319 --> 00:08:29.519 you typically would pay for an all inclusive eleven day 117 00:08:29.600 --> 00:08:36.039 tour with our host Mohammed Imbraheim and a variety of archaeologists, 118 00:08:36.120 --> 00:08:40.120 geologists and scientists who are providing information on the latest 119 00:08:40.120 --> 00:08:43.759 discoveries in this part of the world. The Earth Ancient's 120 00:08:44.120 --> 00:08:47.320 second annual Turkey Tour is not to be missed. For 121 00:08:47.440 --> 00:08:50.639 the full eighteenerary and more information, go to Earth ancients 122 00:08:50.679 --> 00:08:54.399 dot com forward slash tours. Click on the banner and 123 00:08:54.440 --> 00:08:57.679 you'll see the full eighte tenerary and all the details. Remember, 124 00:08:58.360 --> 00:09:02.080 if you want a fantastic tour at half the normal fee. 125 00:09:02.639 --> 00:09:05.799 Think about earth Agent's tours. We've been doing them for many, 126 00:09:05.840 --> 00:09:09.039 many years and they are a blast. Earth agents dot 127 00:09:09.039 --> 00:09:46.120 Com Forward Slash Tours. Come out and join us. We're 128 00:09:46.159 --> 00:09:49.840 featuring a new author this week, Scott Stable. He is 129 00:09:50.080 --> 00:09:53.200 a recurring author. He's written a number of books, and 130 00:09:53.320 --> 00:09:55.200 I have to tell you also he has written a 131 00:09:55.240 --> 00:09:59.320 movie which I thought about doing years ago, wasn't very 132 00:09:59.360 --> 00:10:02.519 a well at it, but he actually had the movie produced. 133 00:10:03.080 --> 00:10:05.639 The book we're talking about today is called Big Love, 134 00:10:05.840 --> 00:10:11.679 The Power of Living with a Wide Open Heart. And 135 00:10:12.039 --> 00:10:15.600 Scott's written other books as well, but we're going to 136 00:10:15.679 --> 00:10:17.960 focus on this book because it goes into it's really 137 00:10:18.039 --> 00:10:23.240 autobiographical in many ways. It goes into his life trauma 138 00:10:23.320 --> 00:10:27.720 of the pain and how he broke through it all. 139 00:10:28.320 --> 00:10:31.120 And his feeling is that love is the guidance. Love 140 00:10:31.240 --> 00:10:36.759 is the is the tool to use for us during 141 00:10:36.799 --> 00:10:40.759 this physical incarnation. That's about all I can say about it. So, Hey, Scott, 142 00:10:40.840 --> 00:10:44.039 welcome to Destiny. Great to have you on the program. 143 00:10:44.279 --> 00:10:46.679 Hey, thank you so much, Cliff. I'm happy to be here. 144 00:10:46.960 --> 00:10:48.879 And if I may say, you know, Big Love the 145 00:10:49.039 --> 00:10:52.639 paperback is coming out just today and we change the subtitle, 146 00:10:52.759 --> 00:10:56.840 so now it's the Undeniable joy of following your heart 147 00:10:56.919 --> 00:10:58.320 and the cover is green instead of the. 148 00:10:58.360 --> 00:11:00.000 R Oh my god, I have the red version. 149 00:11:00.080 --> 00:11:03.960 I know you have the hardcover. And it took seven 150 00:11:04.080 --> 00:11:09.480 years from when the hardcover was released to sell through 151 00:11:09.559 --> 00:11:12.279 the first printing of the book and to get to 152 00:11:12.360 --> 00:11:16.480 this paperback, so when ordinarily it's like people put out 153 00:11:16.480 --> 00:11:19.440 a paperback a year after the hardcover. So I'm feeling 154 00:11:19.519 --> 00:11:21.720 just grateful that the book is still in print and 155 00:11:21.879 --> 00:11:24.120 coming out and we have a fresh cover and a 156 00:11:24.120 --> 00:11:24.879 new subtitle. 157 00:11:24.960 --> 00:11:27.960 So I should have asked your publicist for at least 158 00:11:28.000 --> 00:11:31.000 a digital version, because did you update it? And that's well, 159 00:11:31.120 --> 00:11:33.159 the book is the same. Yeah, oh it's the same book. 160 00:11:33.240 --> 00:11:35.639 Yeah, you read what the book is. The only difference 161 00:11:35.679 --> 00:11:37.679 is a little bit of an author's note in the beginning, 162 00:11:37.720 --> 00:11:40.000 which is maybe like four pages. But no, the book 163 00:11:40.039 --> 00:11:41.399 isn't updated. It's the same. 164 00:11:41.519 --> 00:11:45.279 So I got to mention to you, I'm so jealous. 165 00:11:45.320 --> 00:11:47.720 You have a Facebook page which was over three hundred 166 00:11:47.720 --> 00:11:52.360 and fifty thousand likes and act active participants. How did 167 00:11:52.399 --> 00:11:55.279 you grow it? So? He I mean, were you out 168 00:11:55.320 --> 00:11:58.399 there like hitting the streets or were you sitting. 169 00:11:59.159 --> 00:12:01.120 It was back at a time time when it was 170 00:12:01.519 --> 00:12:04.559 easier to grow Facebook pages. You know the movie that 171 00:12:04.600 --> 00:12:08.399 you referenced that I have written, which is still to 172 00:12:08.440 --> 00:12:12.519 this day the lowest grossing wide release film and history. 173 00:12:12.559 --> 00:12:16.279 It's the biggest flop of all time. Oh yeah, so 174 00:12:16.360 --> 00:12:20.639 ten years later, So that helped. Ten years later, Yeah. 175 00:12:20.600 --> 00:12:22.799 Helped grow the Facebook page, is what you're saying. 176 00:12:22.879 --> 00:12:25.279 That didn't help grow the Facebook page, but that's how 177 00:12:25.360 --> 00:12:28.320 I started the page. The PR people at the time said, hey, 178 00:12:28.559 --> 00:12:30.799 why don't you start a Facebook page as the writer 179 00:12:31.039 --> 00:12:33.960 of the film and you can engage with fans and 180 00:12:34.159 --> 00:12:37.600 talk about the experience of working on the project. Well, 181 00:12:37.919 --> 00:12:40.120 the movie bombed and there weren't really any fans, but 182 00:12:40.159 --> 00:12:43.120 I suddenly had this Facebook page, and I thought, well, 183 00:12:43.120 --> 00:12:45.360 what do I want to write about? And so I 184 00:12:45.399 --> 00:12:49.200 started writing about the themes that are most important to me, 185 00:12:49.519 --> 00:12:52.360 like you know, compassion and love and facing our fears 186 00:12:52.399 --> 00:12:55.919 and transcending shame and all of these things, and the 187 00:12:56.039 --> 00:12:58.840 page just started to take off really organically, because that 188 00:12:58.960 --> 00:13:02.360 was actually at a time when the algorithms weren't preventing 189 00:13:02.399 --> 00:13:04.879 you from reaching people who signed up for your page. 190 00:13:05.279 --> 00:13:08.360 So my page was growing fast because people who were 191 00:13:08.559 --> 00:13:11.039 who were following it were seeing my posts and sharing 192 00:13:11.080 --> 00:13:15.440 them like crazy, and it just, you know, kept growing 193 00:13:15.480 --> 00:13:19.600 and growing and growing, and then literally cliff virtually overnight 194 00:13:19.919 --> 00:13:23.440 when they changed that algorithm. However, many years ago, my 195 00:13:23.600 --> 00:13:27.360 page was growing between like twelve hundred and fifteen hundred 196 00:13:27.360 --> 00:13:30.399 new people a day were following my page, and it 197 00:13:30.919 --> 00:13:34.200 went to like basically zero or losing people by the 198 00:13:34.279 --> 00:13:38.360 day because the algorithm just cut off all the organic 199 00:13:38.399 --> 00:13:40.480 reach and they just want you to pay for it 200 00:13:40.559 --> 00:13:41.480 to reach people. 201 00:13:41.519 --> 00:13:44.679 They wanted you to be more of an advertiser. 202 00:13:45.840 --> 00:13:48.240 They wanted to They wanted to treat you like, this 203 00:13:48.320 --> 00:13:50.919 is your business and if you want to reach people, 204 00:13:51.000 --> 00:13:53.399 you have to pay for them to reach people, okay, 205 00:13:54.120 --> 00:13:58.000 which I wasn't willing to do. And the amounts were outrageous. 206 00:13:58.080 --> 00:14:00.559 I mean, I did the math one day and for 207 00:14:01.200 --> 00:14:03.840 my one post to reach the three hundred and fifty 208 00:14:03.879 --> 00:14:07.399 thousand people following my page, it was thousands of dollars. 209 00:14:07.440 --> 00:14:11.440 It will Oh my god, it's ridiculous, So my good. 210 00:14:11.840 --> 00:14:13.840 But I felt I really liked it because I was 211 00:14:13.879 --> 00:14:15.639 looking at some of the sections and you would do 212 00:14:15.720 --> 00:14:19.279 it like you quote part of the book. Yeah, you'd 213 00:14:19.720 --> 00:14:23.000 do passages and they were really inspirational. I've read a 214 00:14:23.039 --> 00:14:24.679 few of them, and I can see why people were 215 00:14:24.679 --> 00:14:27.240 coming back, going, when's Scott going to post something new 216 00:14:27.279 --> 00:14:29.440 on I mean, because you probably kept people. 217 00:14:29.960 --> 00:14:32.240 I was posting several times a day too. I was 218 00:14:32.320 --> 00:14:33.759 so active on that page. 219 00:14:33.840 --> 00:14:36.840 So yeah, so that's all over with now. Now it's 220 00:14:36.879 --> 00:14:38.600 kind of a. 221 00:14:38.039 --> 00:14:40.360 I mean, I haven't posted in about a year, and 222 00:14:40.399 --> 00:14:43.799 I'm not Yeah, I'm not really vibing with it right now, 223 00:14:43.919 --> 00:14:45.919 but you know, we'll see what the future holds. You 224 00:14:45.960 --> 00:14:46.320 never know. 225 00:14:47.360 --> 00:14:50.679 Let's talk about this wonderful book. So much of it 226 00:14:50.759 --> 00:14:54.960 is your trauma and and pain, and we'll talk a 227 00:14:55.000 --> 00:14:57.879 little little bit later about how you kind of kept 228 00:14:57.919 --> 00:15:02.480 it all together. But what I mean that's that seems 229 00:15:02.519 --> 00:15:04.639 to be the fundamentals of the book, the theme of 230 00:15:04.679 --> 00:15:07.799 the book. But how do you look beyond the pain? 231 00:15:08.159 --> 00:15:12.559 How do you how do you begin getting a sense 232 00:15:12.600 --> 00:15:16.639 of you know, this is not who I am. I 233 00:15:16.919 --> 00:15:21.000 can't keep doing this, can't be bringing it up constantly. 234 00:15:22.480 --> 00:15:26.919 Well, I think, I mean, in my experience, it's about 235 00:15:27.000 --> 00:15:32.039 understanding that part of being human in this reality is 236 00:15:32.120 --> 00:15:36.200 experiencing pain right is experiencing trauma. And you know, anyone 237 00:15:36.200 --> 00:15:39.559 who's made it to adulthood has likely had some hard 238 00:15:39.559 --> 00:15:43.519 things to contend with in their lives. And I don't 239 00:15:44.159 --> 00:15:47.120 I don't see a need in the way that I 240 00:15:47.279 --> 00:15:51.200 used to to kind of bury everything and pretend it 241 00:15:51.240 --> 00:15:53.039 isn't there, and that's my way to deal with it. 242 00:15:53.120 --> 00:15:55.879 Sometimes I do that. Sometimes I numb out and escape, sure, 243 00:15:56.360 --> 00:15:58.799 like the best of them, you know, But I for me, 244 00:15:59.639 --> 00:16:02.720 it's it's about understanding that along with feeling any of 245 00:16:02.759 --> 00:16:06.279 the hardships that I'm feeling, there's also so much more 246 00:16:06.320 --> 00:16:09.759 to experience in this world. So I try to I 247 00:16:09.840 --> 00:16:12.679 try to keep myself open to more than just what 248 00:16:13.039 --> 00:16:17.039 has been difficult. So that means like keeping myself open 249 00:16:17.080 --> 00:16:19.919 to what is beautiful in the world, keeping myself open 250 00:16:19.960 --> 00:16:24.840 to the very real connections that are meaningful in my life, 251 00:16:24.919 --> 00:16:28.960 keeping myself open to my creativity and the creativity of others. 252 00:16:29.000 --> 00:16:33.080 It's like, I think, sometimes our minds can be incredibly 253 00:16:33.120 --> 00:16:36.799 myopic in the way they view things, and so often 254 00:16:36.799 --> 00:16:40.039 the mind steers through the lens of like negativity and 255 00:16:40.159 --> 00:16:43.360 darkness and everything that's wrong on this planet. And there's 256 00:16:43.360 --> 00:16:45.399 so much wrong on this planet. I mean, there's so 257 00:16:45.600 --> 00:16:49.159 much in this country is just there's so much violence 258 00:16:49.200 --> 00:16:54.720 and injustice and division. It can be incredibly easy to 259 00:16:54.840 --> 00:16:58.159 stay attuned to just that. But I don't feel like 260 00:16:58.200 --> 00:17:00.679 we're ultimately being of service to our selves or our 261 00:17:00.720 --> 00:17:03.759 world if that's the only lens through which we're viewing things. 262 00:17:04.119 --> 00:17:09.000 So how do we remember that we are wildly expansive beings? 263 00:17:09.039 --> 00:17:11.480 And I'm able to hold not just my trauma and pain, 264 00:17:11.559 --> 00:17:14.279 but able to hold so much beauty and create so 265 00:17:14.400 --> 00:17:19.960 much beauty. And by doing so that isn't denying the 266 00:17:20.079 --> 00:17:24.039 hardship here. It's just remembering that there's so much more 267 00:17:24.079 --> 00:17:27.759 than just hardship here, and that I think sometimes Cliff 268 00:17:27.799 --> 00:17:32.319 we I know because I see it online. There's this 269 00:17:32.519 --> 00:17:37.039 idea that to foster joy or make space for joy 270 00:17:37.039 --> 00:17:39.000 at a time where there's so much suffering and so 271 00:17:39.119 --> 00:17:43.680 much injustice for many feels incongruent. And for me, it's like, 272 00:17:44.599 --> 00:17:48.599 never stop making yourself available to moments of joy and 273 00:17:48.640 --> 00:17:51.799 connection and love. It is not our misery that helps 274 00:17:51.799 --> 00:17:54.240 people out of their misery. It's like joy is a 275 00:17:54.359 --> 00:17:57.279 very vital life force and an energy that is of 276 00:17:57.359 --> 00:18:01.359 service to all. So don't stop yourself from feeling it 277 00:18:01.440 --> 00:18:04.960 simply because others out there are suffering. Trust that if 278 00:18:04.960 --> 00:18:07.640 you're being called into your joy, that that that is 279 00:18:07.680 --> 00:18:10.119 just a beautiful thing for you to experience in the moment. 280 00:18:10.599 --> 00:18:13.599 And look, you'll be suffering again. We all go through 281 00:18:13.640 --> 00:18:16.680 these cycles, right, And I think that I don't. I 282 00:18:16.759 --> 00:18:19.359 don't want to just give myself over to the pain here. 283 00:18:19.759 --> 00:18:21.960 I want to give myself over to the fullness of 284 00:18:22.000 --> 00:18:22.880 this experience. 285 00:18:23.519 --> 00:18:26.599 I can tell that you're a deeply spiritual person, Scott, 286 00:18:26.720 --> 00:18:29.400 and you said something in the very beginning. You said 287 00:18:29.440 --> 00:18:32.519 that we come into this life kind of you know, 288 00:18:33.079 --> 00:18:37.720 experiencing trauma, pain and suffering. Would you say that this 289 00:18:37.799 --> 00:18:40.519 is kind of a school for this that we're learning. 290 00:18:40.720 --> 00:18:43.680 Can you take it beyond the physical and go Our 291 00:18:43.799 --> 00:18:48.519 soul is asking us to experience this life in whatever 292 00:18:48.559 --> 00:18:51.839 script that we've set out for it to be. And 293 00:18:51.960 --> 00:18:56.000 it's it's getting through and understanding that love is the 294 00:18:56.079 --> 00:18:57.519 ultimate healing tool. 295 00:18:58.839 --> 00:19:01.119 For me, one hundred percent, life is the ultimate healing 296 00:19:01.119 --> 00:19:05.039 tool and without love, healing is not possible. So for me, 297 00:19:05.319 --> 00:19:09.680 I'm continuously asking myself what is love inviting me to 298 00:19:09.720 --> 00:19:12.279 do in this moment? Even like, I see things going 299 00:19:12.319 --> 00:19:16.200 on in this country that are so enraging and infuriating 300 00:19:16.279 --> 00:19:20.480 and heartbreaking, and I want to honor that and allow 301 00:19:20.559 --> 00:19:23.640 for myself to feel that, because it's what's really happening 302 00:19:23.680 --> 00:19:26.880 inside of me. But if all we're doing is raging, 303 00:19:27.640 --> 00:19:31.279 you can't raise yourself into healing. Like anger is a 304 00:19:31.359 --> 00:19:35.119 powerful change agent, a beautiful change agent, but anger alone 305 00:19:35.559 --> 00:19:38.279 does not create healing. It has to be supported by love. 306 00:19:38.599 --> 00:19:41.480 And when I'm speaking about love, I see love as 307 00:19:41.519 --> 00:19:44.440 just energy so for me, and it's an energy that 308 00:19:44.559 --> 00:19:47.759 informs compassion and kindness and forgiveness and all of the 309 00:19:47.799 --> 00:19:52.200 things that we hold to be most true in this experience. 310 00:19:52.559 --> 00:19:55.359 So I know that when I'm playing with the energy 311 00:19:55.359 --> 00:19:58.119 of love and speaking from that place and acting from 312 00:19:58.160 --> 00:20:02.920 that place, I am myself and our world. And and 313 00:20:03.000 --> 00:20:05.960 to what you you said about our soul and learning, 314 00:20:06.680 --> 00:20:08.319 what I want to say is, I don't want to 315 00:20:08.359 --> 00:20:12.079 pretend that I know anything for sure about these things, 316 00:20:12.160 --> 00:20:15.440 because it does when when people talk so confidently about 317 00:20:15.720 --> 00:20:19.160 the afterlife, I'm like, Okay, I know this is how 318 00:20:19.200 --> 00:20:23.240 you what your intuition tells you, but at least honor 319 00:20:23.279 --> 00:20:25.759 that it's just what your intuition tells you, because there's 320 00:20:25.799 --> 00:20:29.039 no proof, I happen to fall in line with the 321 00:20:29.079 --> 00:20:33.079 idea that we do incarnate and our our soul, you know, 322 00:20:33.319 --> 00:20:37.240 our soul moves from lifetime to lifetime. So I'm aligned 323 00:20:37.279 --> 00:20:43.200 with the idea that are my soul is an absolutely 324 00:20:43.359 --> 00:20:47.160 peaceful still aspect of who I am. That is simply 325 00:20:47.200 --> 00:20:51.000 bearing witness without judgment to everything I'm experiencing here and 326 00:20:51.119 --> 00:20:54.920 learning from it, but with no suffering. I don't. I 327 00:20:55.279 --> 00:20:57.720 really believe in all of us there is a soul 328 00:20:57.799 --> 00:21:02.759 centered place that exists beyond suffering, that just observes, just 329 00:21:02.799 --> 00:21:06.079 bears witness right, just is in total acceptance of all 330 00:21:06.119 --> 00:21:09.480 that is. And when I'm connecting to that place within myself, 331 00:21:10.400 --> 00:21:13.200 I feel so much more peaceful, which is why I 332 00:21:13.240 --> 00:21:16.920 think I'm incentivized to connect to that place within myself 333 00:21:17.000 --> 00:21:21.400 because that place is quiet, and up here in my 334 00:21:21.519 --> 00:21:24.079 mind and my ego, there's so much noise, there's so 335 00:21:24.200 --> 00:21:27.279 much insanity. So for me, what I've learned, Cliff is 336 00:21:27.400 --> 00:21:31.640 just it's not about changing my mind, because my mind 337 00:21:31.720 --> 00:21:34.240 is the same as it's ever been. It's about shifting 338 00:21:34.279 --> 00:21:37.400 my relationship to my mind and my thoughts and understanding 339 00:21:37.640 --> 00:21:40.680 that that's where my power lives. When I am lost 340 00:21:40.880 --> 00:21:43.839 in the belief that the things my mind is telling 341 00:21:43.880 --> 00:21:47.640 me are all true, I create suffering myself for myself. 342 00:21:47.960 --> 00:21:49.920 But when I'm able to observe the thoughts of my 343 00:21:50.000 --> 00:21:53.039 mind and the more self abusive ones that are somehow 344 00:21:53.039 --> 00:21:56.519 suggesting I'm less than or unloved and unworthy, and I 345 00:21:56.559 --> 00:22:00.240 can just recognize those thoughts as lies without giving much 346 00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:04.440 energy to them, I create for myself a lot more peace. 347 00:22:05.000 --> 00:22:07.160 And we can all do this. Our minds are always 348 00:22:07.200 --> 00:22:09.319 are lying to us all the time, and it's like, 349 00:22:09.480 --> 00:22:14.200 whenever your mind is suggesting that you're unworthy or unlovable, 350 00:22:14.279 --> 00:22:16.960 that is a lie. And if you choose to believe 351 00:22:17.039 --> 00:22:19.880 that lie, you're going to suffer. But if you choose 352 00:22:19.920 --> 00:22:22.559 to just reflect, oh, that's just my mind doing what 353 00:22:22.599 --> 00:22:26.039 all human minds do. You suffer less. 354 00:22:26.480 --> 00:22:31.559 Yeah, you know, I don't capture from your book that 355 00:22:31.640 --> 00:22:35.200 you're a therapist, but I think from the writing you 356 00:22:35.759 --> 00:22:41.000 are helping the reader see through your experience that you 357 00:22:41.039 --> 00:22:44.759 don't have to be traumatize your whole life. You don't 358 00:22:44.799 --> 00:22:47.359 have to live with it. I'd like you to describe 359 00:22:47.480 --> 00:22:53.839 what you call a love spreader your book and tell us. 360 00:22:55.920 --> 00:22:58.799 I think you give it to us in the book itself, 361 00:22:58.839 --> 00:23:03.720 but tell us how that works and how each of 362 00:23:03.799 --> 00:23:05.359 us can become a love spreader. 363 00:23:08.119 --> 00:23:14.119 Sounds dirty when you say it, I don't know. Sex 364 00:23:14.839 --> 00:23:17.000 dirty when I wrote it. I don't know, but you know. 365 00:23:17.039 --> 00:23:19.799 For me, it's just about I believe deeply in the 366 00:23:19.839 --> 00:23:22.839 power of love is our greatest healing agent. So I'm 367 00:23:22.880 --> 00:23:25.680 someone who makes a lot of noise for the power 368 00:23:25.720 --> 00:23:28.119 of love. That is the core of the work I do. 369 00:23:28.240 --> 00:23:30.519 I talk a lot about love. I talk a lot 370 00:23:30.519 --> 00:23:33.400 about self love. I write a lot about these things 371 00:23:33.920 --> 00:23:37.079 because I feel that when we apply love to anything 372 00:23:37.119 --> 00:23:40.680 else that we're doing or experiencing in this life, we 373 00:23:40.880 --> 00:23:44.400 have the potential to grow and to create healing. So 374 00:23:44.680 --> 00:23:49.599 for me, spreading love is as simple as being intentional 375 00:23:49.839 --> 00:23:52.799 about showing up with kindness when you're out in the community, 376 00:23:53.079 --> 00:23:55.599 when you're at the store shopping, How are you engaging 377 00:23:55.680 --> 00:23:59.559 with clerks, how are you with people out in the world. 378 00:23:59.559 --> 00:24:02.240 Anytime you are showing up with kindness in your heart, 379 00:24:02.279 --> 00:24:05.000 you're spreading love, right Like, how are you showing up 380 00:24:05.039 --> 00:24:08.000 for yourself when you're looking at yourself in the mirror. 381 00:24:08.000 --> 00:24:10.240 When you're talking to yourself as you're going to sleep, 382 00:24:10.480 --> 00:24:14.119 are you locked into the self abusive ego thoughts or 383 00:24:14.160 --> 00:24:17.799 are you remembering to offer yourself some kindness? This is 384 00:24:17.839 --> 00:24:21.240 spreading love right there are so any time we're connecting 385 00:24:21.640 --> 00:24:24.759 to compassion for our fellow human beings, anytime we have 386 00:24:24.839 --> 00:24:28.920 chosen to forgive, anytime we are doing any anytime we 387 00:24:28.920 --> 00:24:32.119 are being empathetic in any sort of way, we are 388 00:24:32.160 --> 00:24:36.480 spreading love. So it's within our capacity, each one of us, 389 00:24:36.960 --> 00:24:40.880 to be a love spreader. And in my experience, this 390 00:24:40.960 --> 00:24:42.759 is one of the ways we heal our world. This 391 00:24:42.839 --> 00:24:44.519 is one of the ways we change our world. Like 392 00:24:44.839 --> 00:24:48.359 you and I were talking beforehand about how frustrating it 393 00:24:48.400 --> 00:24:51.359 can be to look at the political reality in our country. 394 00:24:51.400 --> 00:24:54.920 And it's always frustrating to look at the political reality 395 00:24:54.920 --> 00:24:57.839 in our country because it's usually half of the people 396 00:24:57.880 --> 00:25:00.359 are agreeing, half of the people are opposing, and those 397 00:25:00.359 --> 00:25:04.240 two halves are warring with each other, and it's insane, right, 398 00:25:04.480 --> 00:25:09.359 And yet if I am someone who is not willing 399 00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:14.640 to look at the humanity in the person who is saying, 400 00:25:14.839 --> 00:25:18.599 even for me, the most horrific things, but to remember, 401 00:25:19.000 --> 00:25:21.720