WEBVTT 1 00:00:06.040 --> 00:00:10.320 He was just there. Now, I suppose it would be 2 00:00:10.400 --> 00:00:14.400 the more accurate way of referring to the thing. It 3 00:00:14.560 --> 00:00:18.039 was just there, kind of half sitting or sprawled all about. 4 00:00:19.039 --> 00:00:22.120 It wasn't sitting upright as you or I might. It 5 00:00:22.239 --> 00:00:25.679 sure wasn't standing. It looked as if it was lying 6 00:00:25.719 --> 00:00:29.519 on the sofa, except there wasn't a sofa. I don't 7 00:00:29.559 --> 00:00:31.960 recall if I've ever seen a sofa big enough to 8 00:00:32.000 --> 00:00:35.840 have held that thing. On occasion, it would look over 9 00:00:35.880 --> 00:00:39.039 in my direction, not at me, because for the moment 10 00:00:39.119 --> 00:00:41.560 there was no way for it to see me. At 11 00:00:41.640 --> 00:00:43.960 least at the time. I hope that to be true. 12 00:00:44.640 --> 00:00:47.200 It would just look over in my direction and smile 13 00:00:47.320 --> 00:00:51.079 as much as was possible. I'm not sure that it 14 00:00:51.159 --> 00:00:55.079 smiled often. It didn't look as if it had the capability, 15 00:00:55.479 --> 00:00:58.679 but it was sure giving it a good try. One 16 00:00:58.679 --> 00:01:01.039 thing I am certain of is that it was proud 17 00:01:01.079 --> 00:01:04.159 of itself and what it had done. That's why it 18 00:01:04.239 --> 00:01:08.400 kept looking over while trying to smile. I'll tell you 19 00:01:08.439 --> 00:01:11.239 what it reminded me of, But it reminded me of 20 00:01:11.239 --> 00:01:13.599 the way my father used to look when he would 21 00:01:13.599 --> 00:01:16.359 park his mowing machine in the garage after he had 22 00:01:16.400 --> 00:01:19.319 finished with the yard each week and then go walk 23 00:01:19.359 --> 00:01:23.040 around on us law. My father was always so proud 24 00:01:23.040 --> 00:01:25.239 of the job that he had done each week after 25 00:01:25.280 --> 00:01:28.640 mowing the grass. He loved the way it looked when 26 00:01:28.680 --> 00:01:31.760 every blade of grass had been cut and all were 27 00:01:31.799 --> 00:01:36.000 the same height. Again, how everything in that moment was 28 00:01:36.159 --> 00:01:39.480 just as it should be. That look on my father's 29 00:01:39.519 --> 00:01:44.879 face each week when he had finished was unforgettable and unmistakable. Well, 30 00:01:44.920 --> 00:01:47.599 that thing had the same prideful look on its mug 31 00:01:47.680 --> 00:01:51.519 each time it would look over in my direction. I 32 00:01:51.560 --> 00:01:53.519 can only tell you of what I was seeing at 33 00:01:53.519 --> 00:01:56.239 that moment, and I couldn't see all that well, but 34 00:01:56.319 --> 00:01:59.560 I could see better than I wanted to, and all 35 00:01:59.599 --> 00:02:01.879 honest see, I wish I had never seen any of 36 00:02:01.920 --> 00:02:05.719 it at all. That thing was horrible. I don't think 37 00:02:05.799 --> 00:02:08.520 it to be out of place to call it an abomination, 38 00:02:09.120 --> 00:02:12.120 something that never should have existed in the first place. 39 00:02:13.199 --> 00:02:16.199 A talking like that will likely make some folks hot 40 00:02:16.280 --> 00:02:19.400 under the collar at me, But guess what, I don't care. 41 00:02:20.280 --> 00:02:22.639 The folks that would raise came with me were never 42 00:02:22.639 --> 00:02:25.680 in a position that I'd been in. So until you've 43 00:02:25.719 --> 00:02:30.439 walked in my shoes and all that Now I've watched PBS, 44 00:02:30.479 --> 00:02:34.039 and I'm not a complete dullard. I know the all creatures, 45 00:02:34.120 --> 00:02:38.879 great and small thing and the sentiment behind it. Everything 46 00:02:39.159 --> 00:02:42.159 has a reason for being, and each one is special 47 00:02:42.199 --> 00:02:45.719 and unique and should be revered in one form or another. 48 00:02:46.400 --> 00:02:49.080 But this thing has no more business being around than 49 00:02:49.199 --> 00:02:53.360 mosquitoes or fire ants. And in my opinion, and it's 50 00:02:53.479 --> 00:02:56.759 just my opinion, the world would be better off without 51 00:02:56.840 --> 00:03:00.159 some things in it. And the thing I watched that 52 00:03:00.319 --> 00:03:03.800 was one of them. Sprawled out on the ground as 53 00:03:03.840 --> 00:03:06.400 long as some of those tiny electric cars that some 54 00:03:06.439 --> 00:03:11.159 people drive. Now, that probably weighed more than those cars too. 55 00:03:11.319 --> 00:03:14.639 It wasn't just long. That thing was beefy and solid. 56 00:03:15.520 --> 00:03:18.719 It wasn't long and lean like a college basketball player. 57 00:03:19.520 --> 00:03:23.120 It was built, I mean like an NFL pass rusher, 58 00:03:23.919 --> 00:03:27.919 big thick ropy muscles flexed and quivered each time it moved. 59 00:03:28.639 --> 00:03:31.199 You could see them all pumped up under its fur. 60 00:03:32.439 --> 00:03:34.960 This thing was bigger than Figno had been when he 61 00:03:35.039 --> 00:03:39.599 had been playing the Incredible Hult, much bigger, and Forigno 62 00:03:39.759 --> 00:03:43.759 was stacked when he had been doing all that, covered 63 00:03:43.800 --> 00:03:47.639 from crown to ankle bone with filthy, matted, coarse looking hair, 64 00:03:47.719 --> 00:03:51.039 that was knotted up in a dozen different places, like 65 00:03:51.120 --> 00:03:54.120 an old stray dog's hair would look before it thins 66 00:03:54.120 --> 00:03:57.280 out and sheds its winter coat and the spring. And 67 00:03:57.360 --> 00:04:01.080 it stunk worse than an old dog too, smell like 68 00:04:01.240 --> 00:04:03.879 garbage as you had let sit inside the can too 69 00:04:03.960 --> 00:04:08.159 long before taking the bag out, that rich, sweet smell 70 00:04:08.280 --> 00:04:12.240 of meat that had gone south. That when you smell it, 71 00:04:12.240 --> 00:04:15.319 it really isn't too bad, but the longer you're around it, 72 00:04:15.439 --> 00:04:18.800 the worse it gets. That's the way this thing smelled. 73 00:04:19.360 --> 00:04:22.199 And trust me, it wasn't something else that drifted across 74 00:04:22.240 --> 00:04:25.800 me on that breeze. I know how right that thing was, 75 00:04:26.000 --> 00:04:29.600 but I'll get to that in a minute. Thinking back 76 00:04:29.680 --> 00:04:32.240 on it as I'm writing this, I can still smell 77 00:04:32.279 --> 00:04:35.759 it in my memory enough that I can almost taste it, 78 00:04:35.959 --> 00:04:38.839 and when it comes that strong, I easily end up gagging. 79 00:04:39.399 --> 00:04:41.519 A couple of times. I've even had to heave up 80 00:04:41.560 --> 00:04:46.319 my breakfast. It's been months since the day I was there, 81 00:04:46.360 --> 00:04:49.639 and I can still see it clear as day. It's 82 00:04:49.759 --> 00:04:54.319 lounging around, just looking about, sometimes directly at me, though 83 00:04:54.360 --> 00:04:57.000 it never knew I was there, or you wouldn't be 84 00:04:57.040 --> 00:05:01.079 hearing this story that thing had no the problem with killing. 85 00:05:01.920 --> 00:05:05.439 Also know that better than I want to. You could 86 00:05:05.439 --> 00:05:07.720 see it in its eyes, and that thing didn't take 87 00:05:07.839 --> 00:05:11.839 lip from anything. They were hard eyes, like everything it 88 00:05:11.920 --> 00:05:15.560 had ever seen was ever gonna see was beneath it 89 00:05:15.720 --> 00:05:20.399 or inferior to it, big and dark, yellowing, some as 90 00:05:20.439 --> 00:05:24.160 if it was old. Maybe it was old. I don't 91 00:05:24.160 --> 00:05:27.360 know how anyone could tell. You couldn't go by how 92 00:05:27.399 --> 00:05:31.279 it moved, because it was spry enough. It didn't move 93 00:05:31.319 --> 00:05:35.240 its arms to waste something with old, worn out joints moved. 94 00:05:35.759 --> 00:05:38.600 If it had an edge, it scratched, real limber like, 95 00:05:39.279 --> 00:05:41.720 no matter where it had to reach, and some of 96 00:05:41.720 --> 00:05:46.199 those places were best forgotten, along with the smell. Now 97 00:05:46.199 --> 00:05:49.720 this thing had no shame. What it did have were hands, 98 00:05:49.759 --> 00:05:52.800 a big, strong, leathery looking hands that were covered with 99 00:05:52.920 --> 00:05:57.120 that nasty hair on the backsides. Its feet were the 100 00:05:57.160 --> 00:06:00.720 same way. It may have gotten shorted on looks, but 101 00:06:00.800 --> 00:06:04.439 it made up with the foot size. Now I fell 102 00:06:04.480 --> 00:06:06.920 a pretty big shoe, but its feet were at least 103 00:06:07.000 --> 00:06:09.959 twice as white as mine and maybe twice as long. 104 00:06:11.079 --> 00:06:14.680 But out of everything that was so horrible but hypnotizing 105 00:06:14.720 --> 00:06:18.240 to look at, I think it's teeth or what held 106 00:06:18.279 --> 00:06:22.680 my attention the most. The four in front corners of 107 00:06:22.720 --> 00:06:26.240 the top and bottom were sharp and long, like dog's teeth, 108 00:06:26.279 --> 00:06:29.600 and the rest were short and thick and blunted, just 109 00:06:29.759 --> 00:06:33.120 right for grinding against whatever meat or flesh Those sharp 110 00:06:33.160 --> 00:06:37.040 ones had ripped from something. Each one seemed about the 111 00:06:37.079 --> 00:06:40.839 size of my thumb. Before you say anything, no, all 112 00:06:40.959 --> 00:06:44.160 wasn't close enough to see them that well. One of 113 00:06:44.199 --> 00:06:47.199 its teeth was missing, and the space between the ones 114 00:06:47.240 --> 00:06:50.839 that remained looked about the width of my thumb. And now 115 00:06:50.800 --> 00:06:53.639 I'm fine with guessing at it like that. If you 116 00:06:53.720 --> 00:06:56.639 want to know them more precisely, then you go find 117 00:06:56.680 --> 00:06:58.959 one and peel its lips back and you can take 118 00:06:59.000 --> 00:07:01.959 a look. That'll be your affair, but I won't be 119 00:07:02.040 --> 00:07:04.839 going with you. I've had my share and that was 120 00:07:04.959 --> 00:07:09.160 enough to do me. Now you have a fair idea 121 00:07:09.240 --> 00:07:11.920 of what it looked like. That was what I was 122 00:07:11.959 --> 00:07:14.839 trying to accomplish, and I've described it as best as 123 00:07:14.879 --> 00:07:18.519 I could without drawing you a picture on paper. And yes, 124 00:07:18.680 --> 00:07:21.879 I have done that a couple of times. I haven't 125 00:07:21.920 --> 00:07:25.160 shown my drawing to anyone, mainly because I have no 126 00:07:25.240 --> 00:07:29.639 ability to draw. It looked like something an elementary school 127 00:07:29.720 --> 00:07:32.639 student might have drawn. But when I look at what 128 00:07:32.759 --> 00:07:35.240 I put on paper, I can see exactly what I 129 00:07:35.319 --> 00:07:37.680 was trying to draw, and it sends shivers up and 130 00:07:37.720 --> 00:07:41.720 down my spy. Anyone else might think I was doodling, 131 00:07:41.759 --> 00:07:44.199 but when I look at my drawings, they scare me 132 00:07:44.279 --> 00:07:48.079 to death. I bet you're wanting to know how I 133 00:07:48.160 --> 00:07:52.079 came to see one so well without it seeing me. Well, 134 00:07:52.079 --> 00:07:55.279 that's what I'm going to tell you right now. Now. 135 00:07:55.279 --> 00:07:58.399 I'm not especially bright, not as dumb as some, but 136 00:07:58.519 --> 00:08:02.120 not as smart as a lot. I can't ever remember 137 00:08:02.319 --> 00:08:04.959 how to tell a joke, and I never have been 138 00:08:05.040 --> 00:08:09.120 much counted telling stories. But I'm not a liar, and 139 00:08:09.160 --> 00:08:11.600 I'll tell you what happened to me, and it'll be 140 00:08:11.720 --> 00:08:13.600 up to you if you want to believe me or not. 141 00:08:14.720 --> 00:08:18.560 Of all the things i'll lose sleep over being believed about, 142 00:08:18.639 --> 00:08:22.279 this isn't one of them. This is what happened, and 143 00:08:22.360 --> 00:08:26.160 I know it did because I was there. I'm not 144 00:08:26.240 --> 00:08:28.800 what you might call a regular nine to five guy. 145 00:08:29.560 --> 00:08:32.200 It's not that I don't believe in working for whatever 146 00:08:32.279 --> 00:08:35.639 I want or might end up having. I just don't 147 00:08:35.759 --> 00:08:39.360 like being told what to do. There is something about 148 00:08:39.399 --> 00:08:43.559 following orders that I could never get beside now work, 149 00:08:43.639 --> 00:08:45.600 And to tell you the truth, I think I work 150 00:08:45.639 --> 00:08:48.720 harder than most because I'm always out hustling up something 151 00:08:48.759 --> 00:08:51.480 to do. I just don't go to the same job 152 00:08:51.559 --> 00:08:55.000 and do the same thing every day. I don't answer 153 00:08:55.039 --> 00:08:57.799 to anyone for the most part. If I go without 154 00:08:57.879 --> 00:09:00.600 supper or a pack of smokes or new use when 155 00:09:00.639 --> 00:09:03.039 I need them, then it was all my fault for 156 00:09:03.120 --> 00:09:06.559 not trying a little harder. I don't take orders, but 157 00:09:06.639 --> 00:09:09.840 I don't blame anyone but me for my situations either. 158 00:09:11.000 --> 00:09:13.440 I'm as likely to be painting a house as I 159 00:09:13.480 --> 00:09:16.159 am to be chopping saplings out of a fence row. 160 00:09:16.879 --> 00:09:19.960 I've dressed stiffs in the basement of the mortuary, and 161 00:09:20.000 --> 00:09:22.480 the next day I handed out flyers in front of 162 00:09:22.519 --> 00:09:26.320 the Pigly Wiggily for a beauty salon. It's not the 163 00:09:26.360 --> 00:09:29.039 easiest way to put dough in your pocket. But if 164 00:09:29.080 --> 00:09:32.320 I have enough to get bone, I don't have to work. 165 00:09:32.399 --> 00:09:34.360 If I don't feel like it now, I can go 166 00:09:34.480 --> 00:09:39.000 fishing instead. People locked in a cubicle can't do that 167 00:09:39.120 --> 00:09:42.600 whenever they feel like it, can They not without getting fired. 168 00:09:42.720 --> 00:09:46.320 I mean A while back, I was doing some work 169 00:09:46.360 --> 00:09:49.600 for the Italian man who owned a nursery. He's a 170 00:09:49.639 --> 00:09:52.399 real nice man, and he throws work at me whenever 171 00:09:52.440 --> 00:09:56.120 he gets these big pushes. He knows I work hard 172 00:09:56.440 --> 00:09:58.799 that I don't get bent when he says he doesn't 173 00:09:58.840 --> 00:10:02.440 need me any longer. If he had hired someone to 174 00:10:02.519 --> 00:10:05.000 do what I was doing, he would either have to 175 00:10:05.080 --> 00:10:07.679 find them something to do when the job played out 176 00:10:07.759 --> 00:10:10.960 or fire them. And with me, he just RILs off 177 00:10:10.960 --> 00:10:14.240 a few bills and shakes my hand until the next time. 178 00:10:14.759 --> 00:10:18.000 It works well for the both of us. He had 179 00:10:18.000 --> 00:10:20.600 called me and said that he had two tractor trailer 180 00:10:20.679 --> 00:10:24.559 loads of rose bushes coming in, one trailer one week 181 00:10:24.600 --> 00:10:28.960 and another the following week. Eight thousand rose bushes on 182 00:10:29.039 --> 00:10:31.960 each trailer that had to be pulled from one gallon 183 00:10:32.039 --> 00:10:34.879 pots and reset into two gallon pots so they could 184 00:10:34.960 --> 00:10:39.080 keep growing bigger. You ladies might think that roses are 185 00:10:39.120 --> 00:10:42.279 the best things since indoor plumbing, but after twelve or 186 00:10:42.320 --> 00:10:45.080 fifteen thousand, you won't care if you never see another 187 00:10:45.159 --> 00:10:49.639 god dang rose. The work was rough, but it paid well, 188 00:10:49.679 --> 00:10:51.639 so I was on the fence about it being my 189 00:10:51.799 --> 00:10:55.639 last day doing that job. A bunch of us were 190 00:10:55.759 --> 00:10:59.519 sitting around eating a sandwich in the midday stoppage when 191 00:10:59.600 --> 00:11:02.600 mister big and Zoli came walking through with the man 192 00:11:02.840 --> 00:11:06.399 who was his foreman for the nursery. They were talking 193 00:11:06.440 --> 00:11:10.639 as they walked. Actually, mister big and Zoli was talking 194 00:11:10.679 --> 00:11:15.000 and James was listening. I wasn't eavesdropping, but I did 195 00:11:15.080 --> 00:11:17.039 hear him, and it was not hard to hear. Mister 196 00:11:17.080 --> 00:11:20.639 bigg and Zoli. I really like him, but I'd never 197 00:11:20.720 --> 00:11:23.759 take him fishing. He even says good morning at the 198 00:11:23.759 --> 00:11:27.240 top of his lungs. So what do you think he 199 00:11:27.360 --> 00:11:30.720 was talking about, Well, he was talking about bat guano, 200 00:11:31.360 --> 00:11:35.399 that's droppings from bats. He had some plants coming in 201 00:11:35.399 --> 00:11:38.360 the next few days that really took to bat Guanoh, 202 00:11:39.039 --> 00:11:41.960 it's supposed to be really good fertilizer, but for the 203 00:11:42.000 --> 00:11:44.000 load of plants he had come and it was the 204 00:11:44.120 --> 00:11:48.039 very best. According to someone, he was warning a good bit, 205 00:11:48.200 --> 00:11:51.399 really badly. But the stuff was so expensive that he 206 00:11:51.399 --> 00:11:53.960 would lose money on his plants if he bought the 207 00:11:54.000 --> 00:11:57.480 bat stuff. They were almost out of the shed we 208 00:11:57.480 --> 00:11:59.759 were all sitting in when I slid off of the 209 00:11:59.759 --> 00:12:02.399 world bench I was sitting on and ran down to 210 00:12:02.480 --> 00:12:05.240 catch up with them. I got them stopped, and I 211 00:12:05.279 --> 00:12:07.720 told them that I was sorry for interrupting them, but 212 00:12:07.799 --> 00:12:10.720 I could get them some batpoop if they really wanted some. 213 00:12:11.559 --> 00:12:14.000 It wouldn't be all nice and neat and bags like 214 00:12:14.039 --> 00:12:16.440 if they had ordered it. But I felt real sure 215 00:12:16.480 --> 00:12:19.279 I could get them ten or twelve five gallon buckets 216 00:12:19.279 --> 00:12:22.559 full if that would help them out. They looked at 217 00:12:22.600 --> 00:12:26.799 me like I was crazy, but I just stood there. Well. 218 00:12:26.840 --> 00:12:28.639 We talked a bit, and they asked me where I 219 00:12:28.639 --> 00:12:31.200 could go get so much, but I wouldn't tell them that. 220 00:12:31.960 --> 00:12:35.039 And mister bigg and Zolie and James were both nice men. 221 00:12:35.080 --> 00:12:37.519 But if I told them where the stuff was, they 222 00:12:37.519 --> 00:12:39.440 would have sent a couple of guys and they could 223 00:12:39.480 --> 00:12:42.039 have gotten it for themselves without needing me at all. 224 00:12:43.360 --> 00:12:45.480 I had just found a new source for cash, and 225 00:12:45.559 --> 00:12:49.799 I was keeping it to myself. James kept mumbling about 226 00:12:49.799 --> 00:12:52.039 how what I would bring would be pure and not 227 00:12:52.240 --> 00:12:56.279 mixed with filler and sand, how sixty gallons would be 228 00:12:56.399 --> 00:12:59.240 equal to twice or even three times at a bag 229 00:12:59.360 --> 00:13:02.080 they could buy, how it would go further and be 230 00:13:02.159 --> 00:13:05.840 a lot cheaper. In the end, we settled on a 231 00:13:05.919 --> 00:13:08.840 price per bucket, and that the nursery would supply the 232 00:13:08.879 --> 00:13:11.759 buckets and the shovel, and I promised to work through 233 00:13:11.799 --> 00:13:14.480 the weekend and bring them the stuff the monday coming up. 234 00:13:15.200 --> 00:13:18.960 Those were two happy men walking away. I knew it 235 00:13:19.000 --> 00:13:21.240 was going to be kind of a nasty, gross job, 236 00:13:21.279 --> 00:13:23.879 but I was feeling pretty good myself as I went 237 00:13:23.960 --> 00:13:28.120 back to work on those damn rose bushes. Now, before 238 00:13:28.159 --> 00:13:31.080 I tell you the rest of this, I'll say one thing. 239 00:13:31.960 --> 00:13:34.799 I didn't tell those men where that backcrap was because 240 00:13:34.799 --> 00:13:37.320 I didn't want them going in and getting it, and 241 00:13:37.360 --> 00:13:39.799 that's what they would have done, and I wouldn't blame 242 00:13:39.840 --> 00:13:43.159 them if they did. For my own good, I kept 243 00:13:43.159 --> 00:13:46.759 the location to myself. It's the same reason I haven't 244 00:13:46.799 --> 00:13:48.799 said the name of the town where I live in, 245 00:13:49.440 --> 00:13:52.200 and I'm not going to that's for my own good 246 00:13:52.320 --> 00:13:55.799 and yours. I listened as often as I can to 247 00:13:55.879 --> 00:13:58.720 Cam's program, and I like it, and that's why I 248 00:13:58.759 --> 00:14:01.879 sent this to him. But I read the comments from 249 00:14:01.960 --> 00:14:04.320 y'all sometimes, and I don't want to turn on the 250 00:14:04.360 --> 00:14:07.440 local radio one day and hear about some stranger from 251 00:14:07.440 --> 00:14:11.960 Oklahoma or Pennsylvania getting torn to pieces or killed. If 252 00:14:11.960 --> 00:14:15.320 one of you curious types knew where the story took place, 253 00:14:15.759 --> 00:14:18.120 you'd be wanting to come and do some poking around. 254 00:14:19.120 --> 00:14:21.559 I don't need anyone in and up in the graveyard 255 00:14:21.600 --> 00:14:24.919 on account of what I saw, so trust me, you're 256 00:14:24.960 --> 00:14:27.919 better off stand right where you are and just listening 257 00:14:27.919 --> 00:14:31.399 to how things happen. Now, I'll get back to the story. 258 00:14:32.759 --> 00:14:35.840 As I mentioned earlier, I like to fish. It's how 259 00:14:35.879 --> 00:14:39.679 I relax and come Saturday night, there isn't much anything 260 00:14:39.759 --> 00:14:42.399 better than a plate full of fresh fried fish with 261 00:14:42.440 --> 00:14:46.279 onion rings and iced tea. I have this place where 262 00:14:46.279 --> 00:14:48.320 I like to wet the hook because I always have 263 00:14:48.440 --> 00:14:51.320 the pond of myself, and I never leave out from 264 00:14:51.320 --> 00:14:55.480 there without a stringer full. It's real dark there, trees 265 00:14:55.519 --> 00:14:58.320 all around keep most of the water shaded out of 266 00:14:58.360 --> 00:15:01.840 the wind, and it's my kind of place. But it's 267 00:15:01.840 --> 00:15:03.960 as hard as pushing a chain to get there, and 268 00:15:04.000 --> 00:15:07.399 that's why no one's ever there. Anyone with a fishing 269 00:15:07.480 --> 00:15:10.000 rod knows of it, but it isn't worth the hassle 270 00:15:10.120 --> 00:15:12.919 for them to get there. But I have a four 271 00:15:13.080 --> 00:15:16.320 x four square body that won't ever win a beauty contest, 272 00:15:16.399 --> 00:15:20.399 so I don't mind getting there back before Hector was 273 00:15:20.440 --> 00:15:23.720 a put the brains in the Highway department decided that 274 00:15:23.840 --> 00:15:26.440 a tunnel was needed to get from here to somewhere 275 00:15:26.480 --> 00:15:29.519 else faster, so they figured that going through a mountain 276 00:15:29.600 --> 00:15:33.039 was better than going over or around it. What they 277 00:15:33.080 --> 00:15:35.960 didn't figure on was that the mountain wanted no part 278 00:15:35.960 --> 00:15:39.399 of it. Those crews didn't get more than halfway through 279 00:15:39.440 --> 00:15:43.039 before someone realized that they were spending more time fetching 280 00:15:43.080 --> 00:15:45.679 out all the mountain bits that had fallen during the 281 00:15:45.799 --> 00:15:49.120 night than they were spending on the actual digging and boring. 282 00:15:50.120 --> 00:15:53.000 The machinery they kept having to throw away because of 283 00:15:53.080 --> 00:15:57.399 being crushed by fallout didn't swallow easily either, and the 284 00:15:57.480 --> 00:16:00.200 sixth man to die in that hole really tied the 285 00:16:00.240 --> 00:16:03.720 bow on all of it. They stayed long enough to 286 00:16:03.759 --> 00:16:07.080 shore everything up inside like they were going to continue 287 00:16:07.120 --> 00:16:10.440 the next day, and then everyone just split and never 288 00:16:10.519 --> 00:16:14.720 came back. Nature has been taking it back ever since. 289 00:16:15.200 --> 00:16:17.960 And the entrance to that tunnel that goes to nowhere 290 00:16:18.080 --> 00:16:20.399 isn't more than a couple of hundred yards from where 291 00:16:20.399 --> 00:16:24.000 I like to fish. I expect you wouldn't have been 292 00:16:24.039 --> 00:16:26.440 able to hear yourself think down there when all the 293 00:16:26.519 --> 00:16:30.960 construction was going on, but it's quiet now. They closed 294 00:16:31.039 --> 00:16:33.679 up shop, chewed up the road on the way out 295 00:16:33.919 --> 00:16:36.200 so no one could go mess it around down there 296 00:16:36.279 --> 00:16:40.639 and set audios. But they hadn't counted on me, and 297 00:16:40.679 --> 00:16:43.679 how much I liked to fish. I don't guess they 298 00:16:43.679 --> 00:16:46.639 didn't figure on me being the nosy type, else they 299 00:16:46.639 --> 00:16:50.600 would have sealed that great hole up. The first day 300 00:16:50.639 --> 00:16:53.120 I found that pond was also the first day I 301 00:16:53.200 --> 00:16:57.200 went snooping around inside. And that's how I knew about 302 00:16:57.200 --> 00:17:01.879 the bats. I can take her leaf snakes and spiders 303 00:17:01.919 --> 00:17:05.160 and rats and wasp I may not like them, but 304 00:17:05.200 --> 00:17:09.079 they don't bother me. But bats are a different thing altogether. 305 00:17:10.119 --> 00:17:12.720 I'd never cared one way or the other about bats, 306 00:17:12.759 --> 00:17:16.759 because I'd only ever seen a couple. But inside that tunnel, 307 00:17:17.240 --> 00:17:20.839 well that'll change your mind, all right, thousands of them 308 00:17:20.920 --> 00:17:24.359 hanging there, quivering and twitching, and the dern floor of 309 00:17:24.400 --> 00:17:28.880 that tunnel near covered with their droppings. The first time 310 00:17:28.920 --> 00:17:31.039 I went in there, the smell was so rank that 311 00:17:31.119 --> 00:17:33.839 it made me sneeze. And I guess the racket woke 312 00:17:33.920 --> 00:17:37.400 them nasty devils up. They dropped off the roof and 313 00:17:37.440 --> 00:17:40.799 swarmed around, flying about one hundred miles an hour, not 314 00:17:41.000 --> 00:17:44.000 out of the tunnel, just around and around until they 315 00:17:44.039 --> 00:17:48.000 calmed down and they roosted again. I just squatted down 316 00:17:48.039 --> 00:17:50.960 and covered my head. While it was going on. It 317 00:17:51.000 --> 00:17:53.359 had been like standing in the middle of a pile 318 00:17:53.400 --> 00:17:56.400 of leaves and someone switching on a leaf blower from 319 00:17:56.400 --> 00:17:59.839 every direction, except that the leaves and the tunnel could 320 00:18:00.400 --> 00:18:03.839 if they wanted to. Now I don't care if bats 321 00:18:03.880 --> 00:18:06.960 do eat mosquitoes. I hate the creepy little things, and 322 00:18:07.039 --> 00:18:09.680 I couldn't wait to get out of there. I only 323 00:18:09.720 --> 00:18:12.480 went back in a couple of times after that, and 324 00:18:12.519 --> 00:18:15.720 not very far either. I really didn't care if I 325 00:18:15.759 --> 00:18:19.759 never went back inside again. They could have the tunnel, 326 00:18:19.880 --> 00:18:22.720 if I could have the pond. But then the idea 327 00:18:22.759 --> 00:18:25.000 of making good money for not a lot of work 328 00:18:25.079 --> 00:18:28.480 came up, and I started talking myself into going back 329 00:18:28.519 --> 00:18:33.000 in and staying in while I worked. It hadn't seemed 330 00:18:33.039 --> 00:18:36.039 so bad an idea when I was talking to James 331 00:18:36.079 --> 00:18:38.880 and mister Bigg and Zoli, but the more I thought 332 00:18:38.880 --> 00:18:41.960 about it later, the more I wished I had said nothing. 333 00:18:43.160 --> 00:18:46.759 But still, a deal is a deal. So I went 334 00:18:46.839 --> 00:18:51.480 that Saturday morning to shovel up sixty gallons of that mess. 335 00:18:52.319 --> 00:18:55.119 I tried to be smart about everything, but trying was 336 00:18:55.160 --> 00:18:57.960 about as far as I got. If I had been 337 00:18:58.000 --> 00:18:59.960 on the ball, I would have left all my bucket 338 00:19:00.200 --> 00:19:03.160 at the entrance in the daylight. I could have filled 339 00:19:03.240 --> 00:19:05.200 up a couple and brought them out and got new 340 00:19:05.240 --> 00:19:08.160 buckets and some fresh air. But I was in a 341 00:19:08.240 --> 00:19:10.920 hurry to fill them and have done with this place. 342 00:19:12.039 --> 00:19:14.799 I knew the whole time that if this worked, mister 343 00:19:14.880 --> 00:19:17.440 big and Zoli wasn't going to hush until he had 344 00:19:17.480 --> 00:19:20.799 me bringing him buckets full every week. But I wasn't 345 00:19:20.839 --> 00:19:24.759 going to worry about that until later. Instead of doing 346 00:19:24.799 --> 00:19:27.640 as I should have, I stacked all the buckets inside 347 00:19:27.640 --> 00:19:30.359 each other and slid the handle of the shovel through 348 00:19:30.400 --> 00:19:34.000 the wire loops, and I put that shovel on my shoulder. 349 00:19:35.039 --> 00:19:37.279 I would have everything I needed. Once I got in 350 00:19:37.440 --> 00:19:40.640 deep where that stuff really covered the ground, I would 351 00:19:40.720 --> 00:19:42.799 have to make a half a dozen trips back in 352 00:19:42.920 --> 00:19:45.400 and out, but I could go as fast as I wanted, 353 00:19:45.480 --> 00:19:48.160 because the buckets would be full by then, and I 354 00:19:48.160 --> 00:19:51.960 would be done when I started fetching them back outside. 355 00:19:52.119 --> 00:19:55.359 I had new batteries in the spotlight that's attached to 356 00:19:55.400 --> 00:19:57.720 my ball cap that I wear when I go coon 357 00:19:57.839 --> 00:20:01.680 hunting or catfishing. I was hoping that the light wouldn't 358 00:20:01.680 --> 00:20:05.160 bother the bat, since it would be pointed mostly straight down. 359 00:20:05.240 --> 00:20:08.440 The biggest part of the time I was going to 360 00:20:08.480 --> 00:20:10.359 have the light, and this seemed the best way to 361 00:20:10.440 --> 00:20:14.519 see in there. I wasn't worried about noise either. It 362 00:20:14.559 --> 00:20:17.160 wasn't like I was going to be digging through hard dirt. 363 00:20:17.559 --> 00:20:21.200 I was just scooping up bat droppings. It was my 364 00:20:21.319 --> 00:20:23.759 plan to have those buckets filled and sitting in the 365 00:20:23.799 --> 00:20:27.400 back of my truck by early afternoon, and my reward 366 00:20:27.559 --> 00:20:30.640 for a job well done was my cooler with two 367 00:20:30.680 --> 00:20:34.119 sandwiches and three high life sitting on ice beside my 368 00:20:34.240 --> 00:20:37.839 favorite rod and reel in the truck. Twelve buckets of 369 00:20:37.880 --> 00:20:40.440 bat crap and me catching a few fish was going 370 00:20:40.519 --> 00:20:44.160 to make for a good day. The shoveling went better 371 00:20:44.279 --> 00:20:47.599 than I expected. The stuff was nasty and it made 372 00:20:47.640 --> 00:20:50.599 my nose burn, but it filled the shovel easily and 373 00:20:50.680 --> 00:20:54.519 fell into the buckets quietly. If I moved my head 374 00:20:54.559 --> 00:20:57.240 wrong or too quickly, I could hear the bats above 375 00:20:57.279 --> 00:21:00.960 me and getting agitated at being disturbed, but I would 376 00:21:01.000 --> 00:21:03.480 face the light towards the ground and they would settle 377 00:21:03.519 --> 00:21:07.279 down again. And I stayed nervous the whole time, but 378 00:21:07.400 --> 00:21:10.519 as time passed, I learned how to operate in there 379 00:21:10.759 --> 00:21:15.319 sort of live and let live situation. Everything went so 380 00:21:15.519 --> 00:21:18.480 well that after I had the buckets filled, I picked 381 00:21:18.559 --> 00:21:20.880 up one and used it to really mash the guano 382 00:21:21.079 --> 00:21:23.680 down and pack the other buckets as tightly as I 383 00:21:23.720 --> 00:21:26.440 could with the stuff so I could put more in 384 00:21:26.559 --> 00:21:30.799 each one. The buckets weren't heavy even after being filled, 385 00:21:30.839 --> 00:21:35.279 so I tried to give mister Biggins only his money's worth. Finally, 386 00:21:35.319 --> 00:21:37.920 when I couldn't pack it in anymore, I reached down 387 00:21:37.960 --> 00:21:39.960 to get the first two buckets so I could haul 388 00:21:40.000 --> 00:21:42.880 them out, And that was when I heard the noises. 389 00:21:43.440 --> 00:21:46.039 It was a racket like I had never heard before. 390 00:21:47.480 --> 00:21:49.920 If you ask me while I was standing there in 391 00:21:50.000 --> 00:21:52.319 the dark what was going on, I'd have guessed that 392 00:21:52.400 --> 00:21:54.960 a pack of dogs were really having at each other 393 00:21:55.839 --> 00:21:59.599 the most awful growling and yelping you've ever heard. And 394 00:21:59.640 --> 00:22:02.039 there I was so deep in that tunnel that I 395 00:22:02.039 --> 00:22:06.680 couldn't see the outdoors light or anything else. A ceiling 396 00:22:06.720 --> 00:22:09.680 full of bats were hanging over me. The most got 397 00:22:09.720 --> 00:22:12.920 awful fight up ahead of me. And there I was 398 00:22:13.000 --> 00:22:15.720 sitting in the dark with twelve buckets of bat droppings. 399 00:22:17.160 --> 00:22:19.839 I was figuring out what I was supposed to do next, 400 00:22:20.200 --> 00:22:23.400 and a scream came from up ahead, and then a roar, 401 00:22:23.720 --> 00:22:26.720