Speaker 1: And welcome to fifty five Carsy Morning Show. Maryon Ben's,
Speaker 1: who is a we'll still call her a local author.
Speaker 1: We won't hold it against HER's of Cincinnaia native, but
Speaker 1: she did move to Atlanta in the nineties with her
Speaker 1: husband and family. But she is a local author, and
Speaker 1: she wrote a book. It's called You Were Still Dancing,
Speaker 1: The Unforgettable Journey through Alzheimer's. Marion Ben's, welcome to the
Speaker 1: Morning Show. It's great to have you on my program.
Speaker 2: Thanks Brian, and I appreciate the introduction.
Speaker 1: Well, you're more than welcome. I just give my little
Speaker 1: readers a foundation so they know it's a local author.
Speaker 1: I like to support local authors. I think it's really
Speaker 1: kind of neat that we've gotten them in the audience
Speaker 1: because there's some really talented folks out there. But your
Speaker 1: book about Alzheimer's and Sadly you were. How old were
Speaker 1: you when your grandmother experiences the challenge presented by Alzheimer's.
Speaker 2: I was probably sixteen, mid teens. I would say I
Speaker 2: was still living at home and my grandmother. When my
Speaker 2: grandmother was diagnosed, she came to live with my family.
Speaker 2: At that time, there were six kids in a time,
Speaker 2: there were just two of us left, myself and my
Speaker 2: brother Kevin, so Maul moved in. They looked at nursing
Speaker 2: homes and small, small family homes my mom and her sister,
Speaker 2: but they just couldn't come to an agreement on where
Speaker 2: to leave her, and my mom just she wanted her
Speaker 2: with us, so my grandmother moved in.
Speaker 1: Well. Having lived through this with my father struggling with
Speaker 1: Alzheimer's dimension, I ultimately ended his life the challenges presented
Speaker 1: by having to care for a loved one, and not
Speaker 1: just the emotional component, which is obviously overwhelming, but my
Speaker 1: mom was just run down to the point of exhaustion
Speaker 1: because you know, it's a literal twenty four hour day,
Speaker 1: seven day a week proposition dealing with the challenges these
Speaker 1: folks struggle with.
Speaker 2: Right, you know, And that was my mom was also
Speaker 2: work in part time, you know. I remember I was
Speaker 2: in my summers, I was a cam counselor. And during
Speaker 2: one of these years that my grandma was with us,
Speaker 2: I came back in the fall and my mom had
Speaker 2: aged overnight, and it was so dramatic for me and
Speaker 2: traumatic to see that just in the short ten weeks
Speaker 2: when I was gone, how much she had changed. And
Speaker 2: you don't realize that I wasn't the primary caregiver. You know,
Speaker 2: I was witnessing what was going on, but you don't
Speaker 2: take the full blunt of caregiving as a teenager, even
Speaker 2: even I would help mom, or we would sit my
Speaker 2: brother and I would sit with mal so Mom and
Speaker 2: Dad could go out. But it is absolutely a life
Speaker 2: changing aging process for the caregiver. And you know that's
Speaker 2: why I, you know, encourage people who talk to me
Speaker 2: who are going through it to basically to take your
Speaker 2: oxygen first, to take care of yourself, to make sure
Speaker 2: that you're eating right. You know, of all the research
Speaker 2: I did for this book, it's the Mediterranean diet is
Speaker 2: the one diet that just kept popping up, kind of
Speaker 2: went to the top of diets for people, not just
Speaker 2: to prevent Alzheimer's, but just to lead a healthier lifestyle.
Speaker 2: And that's one of the things that you know I
Speaker 2: would recommend, but sleep, exercise, and then some form of
Speaker 2: just clearing your mind. I meditated, you know, And another
Speaker 2: really important thing is just taking people up on it,
Speaker 2: on the offer to sit with your loved one or
Speaker 2: finding someone who will sitting with their life, or paying
Speaker 2: someone just sit with your life, because you need to
Speaker 2: get away. You need to just step back from it.
Speaker 2: And even if you're just going outside and taking a
Speaker 2: small walk and just breathing the fresh air, but it's
Speaker 2: all encompassing.
Speaker 1: Mary and Ben's author of You were still dancing. This
Speaker 1: Alzheimer's situation, though, developed further because once your grandmother, I
Speaker 1: guess it was it after she passed that your mother
Speaker 1: came down with the symptoms of Alzheimer's.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, my grandmother passed, and you know it was
Speaker 2: it was another I would say fifteen twenty years when
Speaker 2: Mom started showing the signs, but she actually you know,
Speaker 2: Alzheimer's is now known to begin in the brain twenty
Speaker 2: you know, two decades before the symptoms first appear. So
Speaker 2: while we're out living our lives, there's a lot going
Speaker 2: on inside our head that you know, we don't know
Speaker 2: about now. Now, there is early testing if you're brave
Speaker 2: enough to do it, and I haven't done that yet,
Speaker 2: but I have friends that have, and I think you
Speaker 2: really have to be careful to make sure that you
Speaker 2: have the personality that can handle that. Maybe you have
Speaker 2: an increased risk of developing Alzheimer's. I know myself if
Speaker 2: if I forgot a word, which I sometimes do, Yeah,
Speaker 2: the first place to know is I'm getting Alzheimer's, and
Speaker 2: just advantage that might follow out.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Benz, I have the exact same reaction.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: I'll be sixty in September and I like to just
Speaker 1: pass it. I was like, jeez, Frian, you're getting old.
Speaker 1: You're just not as sharp as you used to be.
Speaker 1: And I'm struggling to find a word. But then again,
Speaker 1: I immediately think of my father, and it's unsettling, to
Speaker 1: say the least. So it is good, no, no, go.
Speaker 2: Ahead in the absence of a cure, and there is
Speaker 2: none right now that I think you really have to
Speaker 2: weigh whether you can handle knowing that you have a
Speaker 2: greater chance now. Of course you can go back to
Speaker 2: all the things what do I need to do to
Speaker 2: prevent it? But you still have to know if you
Speaker 2: have the mindset that can you know, not go had
Speaker 2: turled places whenever you know we're my keys, or you know,
Speaker 2: you walk into a room and what did I come
Speaker 2: in here for? And I think that we all do
Speaker 2: it to some extent. So when you have a history
Speaker 2: in your family. It's easy to go there, and then
Speaker 2: it's easy to kind of become consumed bias. Yeah, that's
Speaker 2: the you know, just to try to not go there.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Actually, I can see it bringing on full blown
Speaker 1: depression if you, I mean, if you, if you're dwelling
Speaker 1: on it enough. It's just it's terrib because the disease
Speaker 1: is insidious. I mean it, I actually and I don't
Speaker 1: know what that sounded like disrespect for my dad or
Speaker 1: that I was happy he died, but what a weight
Speaker 1: was looked that he was miserable, He didn't know who
Speaker 1: anybody was. He laid in his bed and had no function,
Speaker 1: you know, no control over his bowels, which is obviously
Speaker 1: a common problem in these situations, which is one of
Speaker 1: the reasons why you're tending to someone twenty four to seven. Uh,
Speaker 1: it's it's just he I knew he was in a
Speaker 1: better place, that he was released.
Speaker 2: Right exactly. And and I believe that's the word. And
Speaker 2: that's how I thought my grandmother. I felt like she
Speaker 2: was just let go, she was released. And I think
Speaker 2: that's just such a nice way to look at it.
Speaker 2: And it really helps if you, if you it depends
Speaker 2: on you know where you come from spiritually. But but
Speaker 2: if you do believe that we are you know, we
Speaker 2: are our soul, encompasses, are body or however you look
Speaker 2: at it, you know, to be released from those chains,
Speaker 2: and they really do hold you down when you have
Speaker 2: a disease such as Alzheimer's.
Speaker 1: Well, if you're faced with Alzheimer's in your family, what
Speaker 1: having lived this now two times, you obviously saw it all,
Speaker 1: how do you what do you recommend people to do
Speaker 1: in terms of dealing with this challenge and maintain some
Speaker 1: sort of I know you mentioned the exercise and taking
Speaker 1: walks and all that related to caregiving, because it is exhausting,
Speaker 1: But what about just coping with the general reality that
Speaker 1: they're living with.
Speaker 2: What are your recommendations the reality that that the caregiver
Speaker 2: lives with or the reality that the patient lives with.
Speaker 1: No the caregiver. I was thinking more of the caregiver,
Speaker 1: because quite often the patient themselves loses any sense of
Speaker 1: recollection or even ability to recognize you as a as
Speaker 1: a relative, right, you know.
Speaker 2: So for myself personally, I do and I think about
Speaker 2: it every day. That's the first thing. I Alzheimer's is
Speaker 2: no more than a couple of degrees away from you know,
Speaker 2: my thought process wherever I am. I do believe strongly
Speaker 2: in a one meditation. I know I spoke with that earlier,
Speaker 2: but I can't emphasize that enough to even go into
Speaker 2: like a deep breathing clearing your mind, just kind of
Speaker 2: setting the tone for the day as you you know,
Speaker 2: get I believe that I always start my day with exercise,
Speaker 2: some form of yoga, some form of our Wilbek exercise,
Speaker 2: and just try to, you know, give my body the
Speaker 2: best chance I can to keep from you know, the
Speaker 2: problem with Alzheimer's, it's not a problem. The issue with
Speaker 2: Alzheimer's is that Alzheimer's is very much like any other
Speaker 2: disease that affects the heart right. So if you have
Speaker 2: high blood pressure, if you have high cholesterol, those those
Speaker 2: need to be recognized and then they need to be
Speaker 2: taken care of broad under control, whatever means that is.
Speaker 2: I am on a satin I you know, I don't
Speaker 2: feel like I should be out of statins because I'm
Speaker 2: in state, and I eat right, and I exercise and
Speaker 2: I try to do all the right things. But apparently
Speaker 2: genetically I'm predisposed to having high cholesterol. You tried my
Speaker 2: doctors ride to you know, do it you know with diet,
Speaker 2: do it with exercise. He gave me a lot of time.
Speaker 1: Well, let me strongly encourage you to look into bioidentical
Speaker 1: hormone replacement therapy, which is what the Europeans do to
Speaker 1: solve the cholesterol problem. Plus it really makes you feel good,
Speaker 1: I mean really good. So Okay, bioidentical hormone replacement therapy.
Speaker 1: You may your hormones could be out of balance, low estrogen,
Speaker 1: low tester and whatever, what testoster, whatever happens to be.
Speaker 1: But if you do some research on it, they don't
Speaker 1: use statins in Europe from what I've been told by
Speaker 1: physicians that I deal with. So just a thought, but
Speaker 1: it also deals with a whole bunch of other problems,
Speaker 1: you know, metapausal problems and you know, sexual desire, and uh,
Speaker 1: I just it's it's it's kind of magical, if I
Speaker 1: may be so bold as to say so, Marion Ben's Now,
Speaker 1: I guess this book is recommended for anybody who is
Speaker 1: dealing with the realities of Alzheimer's. Anybody who's got a
Speaker 1: family member or a loved one or a friend who's
Speaker 1: struggling with the disease, thoughts, comments, and how to deal
Speaker 1: and cope with it all In the book, you were
Speaker 1: Still Dancing, an unforgettable journey through Alzheimer's. By our Still,
Speaker 1: we'll call her local author Mary and Ben's Marian. Thanks
Speaker 1: for putting this down And I checked on Amazon. Everybody
Speaker 1: loves it. You got a five star review there and
Speaker 1: it came out June of last year. So I people
Speaker 1: can get a copy of your book on my blog
Speaker 1: page at fifty five krs dot com and I'll encourage
Speaker 1: them to do that.
Speaker 2: I really appreciate that, and I do think it's very
Speaker 2: for her going to say.
Speaker 1: The process, yeah, and prayers to everybody who has to
Speaker 1: deal with it. It's not a fun process. Mary, and
Speaker 1: you have a wonderful Valentine's Day and a great weekend.
Speaker 1: And I'll encourage my listeners to pick up a copy
Speaker 1: of your book over my blog page fifty five krs
Speaker 1: dot com. Take care and thanks for your time this morning.