WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.560 --> 00:00:05.080 Welcome to Spark Faith with me doctor Chris Sargent. This 2 00:00:05.160 --> 00:00:09.199 show is about renewed health, rooted in truth and restored 3 00:00:09.279 --> 00:00:12.880 by grace. What does finding health look like for you? 4 00:00:13.599 --> 00:00:16.079 Do you have a vision for your future self and 5 00:00:16.160 --> 00:00:19.640 a way to get there. I'm doctor Chris and after 6 00:00:19.800 --> 00:00:23.559 thirty three years in functional medicine and a lifelong journey 7 00:00:23.600 --> 00:00:28.160 through brain health, weight loss, hormones, mindset, and faith, I 8 00:00:28.359 --> 00:00:33.399 know that real transformation doesn't come from willpower or white 9 00:00:33.479 --> 00:00:39.640 knuckling your way to wellness. It comes from gratitude, honoring 10 00:00:39.719 --> 00:00:43.479 your body as the temple that God created. This show 11 00:00:43.520 --> 00:00:48.799 is about body stewardships, not shade. It's about rewiring your mindset, 12 00:00:49.119 --> 00:00:54.960 your metabolism, and your spirit define lasting health without the grind. 13 00:00:55.520 --> 00:00:59.479 I'll help you cut through the noise, see opportunities instead 14 00:00:59.520 --> 00:01:04.760 of opals, and finally live the healthy, purposeful life you 15 00:01:04.799 --> 00:01:11.120 were created for. Let's spark faith and transformation together. Spark 16 00:01:11.159 --> 00:01:20.680 Faith starts now. Hey, Hey, y'all, welcome back to the 17 00:01:20.719 --> 00:01:25.079 Spark Faith Show. I am doctor Chris Sargent and today's 18 00:01:25.079 --> 00:01:28.680 show is going to be a lot more organized than 19 00:01:28.760 --> 00:01:34.760 last week. I definitely was having a moment and I 20 00:01:34.799 --> 00:01:38.200 am sure that some of what I said last week 21 00:01:38.359 --> 00:01:43.920 was maybe or maybe not coherent. So I'm going to 22 00:01:43.959 --> 00:01:47.439 try to bring this back around to the idea of 23 00:01:47.480 --> 00:01:51.480 where what I was really headed for last week. Instead 24 00:01:51.519 --> 00:01:54.879 of talking in a circle, this week we are talking 25 00:01:54.879 --> 00:01:59.120 about regulation. Right, we were working on foundation and the 26 00:01:59.120 --> 00:02:04.760 foundations of change and how we respond to people who 27 00:02:04.799 --> 00:02:08.639 haven't changed, and then how we ourselves need to respond 28 00:02:08.719 --> 00:02:12.360 and how we can put up resistance to change, and 29 00:02:12.520 --> 00:02:18.159 how all of that human interaction can get pretty messy. 30 00:02:18.319 --> 00:02:20.199 So if you really want to hear the mess, you 31 00:02:20.199 --> 00:02:22.639 can go listen to last week and this week we 32 00:02:22.879 --> 00:02:27.520 are going to talk a little bit more about why 33 00:02:27.719 --> 00:02:33.439 does the old way feel so much easier? Right? We're 34 00:02:33.599 --> 00:02:39.560 still talking about resistance, however, I want to help you 35 00:02:39.719 --> 00:02:44.680 understand where that resistance comes in. So the old way 36 00:02:44.919 --> 00:02:49.120 often feels easier, not necessarily because it's better for us, 37 00:02:49.319 --> 00:02:53.280 Like we know that right deep down someplace in our core, 38 00:02:54.840 --> 00:03:01.639 but it's because it is familiar. Oh no no excuses here, right, 39 00:03:02.280 --> 00:03:09.439 Our brains can actually interpret the past experiences that we 40 00:03:09.759 --> 00:03:17.039 have to predict what comes next. So you are an 41 00:03:17.080 --> 00:03:20.599 emotional eater, right, and a little air quotes here, you 42 00:03:20.759 --> 00:03:26.439 have identified as an emotional eater, and I definitely want 43 00:03:26.479 --> 00:03:32.080 to validate the emotions that you're having. However, I am 44 00:03:32.120 --> 00:03:36.360 going to push back a little bit on the behavioral 45 00:03:37.159 --> 00:03:40.879 thing that it creates, because this is exactly what I'm 46 00:03:40.879 --> 00:03:44.800 talking about. Right, at some point in your life, you 47 00:03:45.039 --> 00:03:50.520 learned that when you're emotional, you eat and you feel 48 00:03:50.560 --> 00:03:53.159 better at least for a little bit. Right. Hey, I 49 00:03:53.159 --> 00:03:56.199 can only say this because I have definitely done enough 50 00:03:56.240 --> 00:04:01.199 emotional eating for many people in my life, also learned 51 00:04:01.199 --> 00:04:07.560 how to not do that. And so because what happens 52 00:04:07.639 --> 00:04:10.240 is we feel this emotional thing in our brain is like, 53 00:04:10.280 --> 00:04:14.360 oh okay, I know what comes next. We're gonna go eat. Right, 54 00:04:14.479 --> 00:04:21.160 So it's really these well practiced patterns that are easier 55 00:04:21.240 --> 00:04:25.439 to repeat, and we've laid down the tracks or like 56 00:04:25.519 --> 00:04:28.199 last week I was talking about a giant rut. Right, 57 00:04:28.639 --> 00:04:33.120 We've laid down these ruts that are really easy for 58 00:04:33.240 --> 00:04:42.879 our brain to process fast and efficient. Right, So sustainable change. Right, 59 00:04:43.000 --> 00:04:46.399 Like you if you're an emotional eater or whatever habits 60 00:04:46.399 --> 00:04:48.639 you're maybe you're a smoker, maybe you're vaping, and you 61 00:04:48.639 --> 00:04:52.000 want to stop like whatever that pattern is, I mean, 62 00:04:52.120 --> 00:04:55.879 it just is like the world is full of these 63 00:04:55.920 --> 00:05:00.879 patterns for ourselves, right, we create these habits so and again, 64 00:05:01.240 --> 00:05:06.120 you know clearly I am so far from perfect. However, 65 00:05:06.360 --> 00:05:13.839 sustainable change requires enough repetition for that new pattern to 66 00:05:13.920 --> 00:05:17.319 become increasingly familiar. So I don't want to spend my 67 00:05:17.360 --> 00:05:21.759 whole episode on the intro. I want to dive into 68 00:05:21.759 --> 00:05:25.319 a little bit of philosophy and talk a little bit 69 00:05:25.519 --> 00:05:30.720 about you know, this is part and person of the 70 00:05:30.839 --> 00:05:34.600 human condition, if you will, and how are we going 71 00:05:34.680 --> 00:05:38.160 to move past this? Right? Because it can be conquered. 72 00:05:38.600 --> 00:05:41.800 It's just a matter of getting our brains wrapped around 73 00:05:41.839 --> 00:05:44.319 the fact that a it can be conquered. You can 74 00:05:44.399 --> 00:05:48.720 conquer this. Anybody can conquer this. It's just getting our 75 00:05:48.800 --> 00:05:52.000 brain right and keeping it right. Because once you've dug 76 00:05:52.199 --> 00:05:55.000 a fifty foot hole, not only is it hard to 77 00:05:55.120 --> 00:05:58.319 get out of that hole, it's hard to dig a 78 00:05:58.439 --> 00:06:01.000 new hole. Right, we want to dig a new and 79 00:06:01.079 --> 00:06:04.720 better path. We've been talking about the fact that health 80 00:06:05.040 --> 00:06:09.519 is not a destination, It is a direction, right. It 81 00:06:09.680 --> 00:06:13.079 is just it's a trajectory, and so we have to 82 00:06:13.240 --> 00:06:17.040 shift that trajectory. If some of our habits are getting 83 00:06:17.079 --> 00:06:20.199 in the way of moving in that new direction. I 84 00:06:20.240 --> 00:06:22.839 think a few weeks ago I likened it to like 85 00:06:24.000 --> 00:06:27.079 cutting a new path while you're hiking. Right, you have 86 00:06:27.240 --> 00:06:30.439 to get out your sickle and your chainsaw or whatever 87 00:06:30.600 --> 00:06:34.360 that is to create that new path or a new shovel. Right, 88 00:06:34.439 --> 00:06:36.879 if we're talking about a rut, there's all kinds of 89 00:06:36.920 --> 00:06:40.839 analogies we could use, So you pick your favorite, and 90 00:06:40.920 --> 00:06:43.920 I'll probably mix them up a lot today. However, so 91 00:06:44.720 --> 00:06:47.959 what about I know better? So why am I still 92 00:06:48.079 --> 00:06:52.040 doing this? Right? Have you ever known exactly what you 93 00:06:52.199 --> 00:06:56.560 needed to do and still didn't do it? Ah? Right? 94 00:06:56.800 --> 00:07:03.000 So this is right out of the Bible. I wish 95 00:07:03.120 --> 00:07:06.040 I could tell you that it wasn't. I wish I 96 00:07:06.120 --> 00:07:10.079 could tell you that it's so much simpler than that. 97 00:07:10.800 --> 00:07:13.000 I wish I could tell you that it was going 98 00:07:13.079 --> 00:07:20.079 to be easy, peasy to change things. And it just isn't. Right. 99 00:07:20.360 --> 00:07:24.600 So Paul even said in Romance a couple different times, right, 100 00:07:25.160 --> 00:07:28.240 For I do not do the good I want to do, 101 00:07:29.000 --> 00:07:31.959 but the evil I do not want to do. This 102 00:07:32.519 --> 00:07:37.000 I keep doing right, or I do not understand what 103 00:07:37.160 --> 00:07:40.439 I do. For what I want to do I do 104 00:07:40.639 --> 00:07:45.759 not do, But what I hate I do. And that's 105 00:07:45.879 --> 00:07:53.160 pretty strong language, anyho. Right, Like, this entire passage is 106 00:07:53.360 --> 00:08:00.439 about doing that gap between knowing, desiring right, desire something different, 107 00:08:00.560 --> 00:08:05.199 and actually doing the thing. And there's a difference between 108 00:08:05.439 --> 00:08:09.920 all three of those things. Right, he's not excusing his behavior. Right, 109 00:08:10.000 --> 00:08:14.160 we can't excuse our behavior because this is just it's 110 00:08:14.199 --> 00:08:18.199 a divided human will. Right. I know that I have 111 00:08:18.360 --> 00:08:22.720 some a powerful knowing, and I really want to do 112 00:08:22.920 --> 00:08:28.000 this thing, and yet my actions don't line up with that. Right. 113 00:08:28.800 --> 00:08:34.720 So a couple of philosophers also struggled with this. Aristotle 114 00:08:34.879 --> 00:08:38.720 called it acrazia. I believe that's the right pronunciation. I 115 00:08:38.799 --> 00:08:42.840 can be wrong, but this is like weakness of your will. 116 00:08:43.000 --> 00:08:45.279 And this is this is what we also talk about 117 00:08:45.360 --> 00:08:49.679 a lot, right, We talk about our will power, and 118 00:08:49.759 --> 00:08:52.320 so we think that we just have this weak will. 119 00:08:53.159 --> 00:08:57.399 But it describes acting against your own better judgment. You 120 00:08:57.559 --> 00:09:01.559 know which choice is better. You're but desire and appetite, 121 00:09:01.679 --> 00:09:05.639 emotion and actually habit, which is what rite our brain 122 00:09:06.840 --> 00:09:13.360 temporarily overrides that that knowledge, And you know, it's kind 123 00:09:13.399 --> 00:09:20.960 of Augustine says, grant me chastity and constancy, but not yet, right, Like, 124 00:09:21.120 --> 00:09:26.960 that's right, he was looking for this transformation man recognized 125 00:09:27.000 --> 00:09:33.039 his own unwillingness. So I think you know there's there 126 00:09:33.159 --> 00:09:44.600 was also I think it's Amy Winehouse said in her 127 00:09:44.679 --> 00:09:48.639 song you know I'm no good? It says I cheated myself, 128 00:09:49.200 --> 00:09:53.519 like I knew I would. Right like that gets into 129 00:09:53.600 --> 00:09:57.200 even deeper, like I knew the pattern, I knew where 130 00:09:57.240 --> 00:10:00.080 it would lead, and I did it anyway. And and 131 00:10:00.679 --> 00:10:04.200 so you know you'd feel better if you got into 132 00:10:04.240 --> 00:10:07.759 bed earlier. You know that it's eleven thirty and you're 133 00:10:07.759 --> 00:10:11.360 still sitting on the couch binge binging something, right, you 134 00:10:11.559 --> 00:10:13.600 know you need to go to the gym or move more, 135 00:10:13.720 --> 00:10:17.360 get out walk whatever that moving more looks like. You know, 136 00:10:17.559 --> 00:10:19.759 you'd have a much better morning if you were prepared 137 00:10:19.799 --> 00:10:22.919 the night before. Pick out your clothes, get your lunch ready, 138 00:10:23.039 --> 00:10:27.600 blah blah blah blah blah. Right, and there we are. 139 00:10:27.919 --> 00:10:31.559 We do it again, and instead of the whole h 140 00:10:32.120 --> 00:10:34.559 what's wrong with me? Why do I keep doing this? 141 00:10:35.519 --> 00:10:38.480 First of all, we are never going to go down 142 00:10:38.559 --> 00:10:42.440 the shame and guilt road, right like that. That doesn't 143 00:10:43.279 --> 00:10:47.480 that's not going to help, right, that is not particularly useful. 144 00:10:48.799 --> 00:10:52.320 So I also don't want to give you some excuse, well, 145 00:10:53.159 --> 00:10:55.399 your nervous system, My nervous system just won't let me 146 00:10:55.559 --> 00:11:00.320 change because that's not true either. Right, we have tooices. 147 00:11:00.799 --> 00:11:04.559 We can make different choices, and that's oh, I know, 148 00:11:04.799 --> 00:11:09.000 I can feel like that's hard. Right, this is a 149 00:11:09.120 --> 00:11:14.279 hard conversation because we do have choices, and there may 150 00:11:14.320 --> 00:11:18.879 be a reason that those choices don't feel equally easy. 151 00:11:20.200 --> 00:11:22.600 And we definitely talked a lot about last week, right, 152 00:11:22.759 --> 00:11:29.320 resistance to change, and that conversation got complicated because sometimes 153 00:11:29.399 --> 00:11:33.399 we're resistant because we really don't want to change, or 154 00:11:33.480 --> 00:11:40.320 we really don't want someone else to be right. Yuck yuck. Right, Like, 155 00:11:40.440 --> 00:11:44.000 we have to dig into our egos and our pride 156 00:11:44.279 --> 00:11:47.559 and all of those pieces when we're talking and walking 157 00:11:47.720 --> 00:11:51.200 through change, because sometimes we want the result, but we 158 00:11:51.320 --> 00:11:57.320 don't particularly want what it's going to require from us. 159 00:11:59.120 --> 00:12:02.200 Right times, we feel like someone else is trying to 160 00:12:02.399 --> 00:12:06.440 change us. Sometimes we don't even realize we're resisting it. 161 00:12:06.679 --> 00:12:09.080 But that's where our ego and pride have to be 162 00:12:09.240 --> 00:12:15.639 checked at the door, because I think that that's what's 163 00:12:15.720 --> 00:12:19.120 getting like we're in our own way in that moment 164 00:12:19.399 --> 00:12:25.039 if somebody else might be right, and there's the other 165 00:12:25.200 --> 00:12:27.679 side of this coin too, right, So here we go again. Right, 166 00:12:29.399 --> 00:12:32.519 both can be true. Right, I really do want this, 167 00:12:33.519 --> 00:12:36.840 and I'm willing, and I've made the choice, and the 168 00:12:37.080 --> 00:12:42.679 old behavior pulls us into that pit, right, that deep rut. 169 00:12:43.480 --> 00:12:46.679 So what I want to talk about today is the 170 00:12:46.840 --> 00:12:51.159 old way does have enormous advantage in our brain. It's 171 00:12:51.240 --> 00:12:55.360 been practiced. Your brain knows it, your body knows it. Right, 172 00:12:55.559 --> 00:12:57.200 this is what habit is all about. It Just like 173 00:12:58.080 --> 00:13:01.120 every time you drive to your kids school or someplace 174 00:13:01.240 --> 00:13:04.559 familiar like the office, your office or whatever, the grocery store, 175 00:13:05.000 --> 00:13:10.440 you don't even think about it, and that, uh, that's 176 00:13:10.519 --> 00:13:12.960 what I'm talking about, And that's what happens in our 177 00:13:13.240 --> 00:13:17.120 day in day out lifestyle habits. Right, you don't want 178 00:13:17.159 --> 00:13:18.639 to go a new way to the grocery store if 179 00:13:18.720 --> 00:13:21.120 that road is closed and there's three other ways around, 180 00:13:21.159 --> 00:13:23.799 You're like, h I have to go a different way 181 00:13:23.879 --> 00:13:26.000 to the grocery store, and like we take that as 182 00:13:26.080 --> 00:13:31.360 some kind of personal affront. So like, that's that's what 183 00:13:31.720 --> 00:13:37.000 we're talking about. Right. Familiar doesn't necessarily mean better. Sometimes 184 00:13:37.559 --> 00:13:43.759 familiar just means really well practiced. So your brain is 185 00:13:44.039 --> 00:13:49.279 constantly predicting, right, all day long, you don't even think 186 00:13:49.320 --> 00:13:53.200 about it. But your brain is predictive and not like 187 00:13:53.320 --> 00:13:56.519 crystal ball, Oh I know the future, but based on 188 00:13:56.679 --> 00:13:59.559 what you've done, right, it knows what's going to happen next. 189 00:13:59.639 --> 00:14:02.759 And goodness, because honestly, if you had to process everything 190 00:14:02.840 --> 00:14:06.120 that your brain is processing all the time and you 191 00:14:06.279 --> 00:14:09.159 had to be consciously aware of that, I mean we would, 192 00:14:09.919 --> 00:14:12.159 It's just not it's not efficient. Right, if you had 193 00:14:12.200 --> 00:14:15.440 to think about breathing and walking and your heart beating 194 00:14:15.759 --> 00:14:18.919 and all those things, like, how would we ever get 195 00:14:19.159 --> 00:14:23.120 literally anything done? Right? Do you remember when you first 196 00:14:23.240 --> 00:14:27.320 learned to drive? How weird that felt? Like, really, seriously, 197 00:14:27.399 --> 00:14:30.519 take a minute and just think about the first time 198 00:14:30.600 --> 00:14:33.679 you sat behind the wheel of a car by yourself 199 00:14:33.840 --> 00:14:37.919 or with your parent or whatever that awkward time was. 200 00:14:39.799 --> 00:14:42.679 And now think about driving someplace a thousand times. Right, 201 00:14:42.840 --> 00:14:45.200 you just you don't even know where. You just you 202 00:14:45.360 --> 00:14:48.440 just end up there. Right. I was coming home from 203 00:14:48.480 --> 00:14:50.519 something the other day and I'm like, WHOA, how did 204 00:14:50.559 --> 00:14:52.320 I I don't remember pulling out of the name. I 205 00:14:52.360 --> 00:14:55.639 didn't even remember pulling out of my neighborhood. So like, 206 00:14:55.799 --> 00:14:57.879 that's what happens. You make coffee, you brush your teeth, 207 00:14:57.879 --> 00:14:59.799 you get dressed, you walk through the house and the 208 00:14:59.840 --> 00:15:05.200 door whatever. Because you're you're not consciously solving all that stuff. 209 00:15:05.320 --> 00:15:09.720 Your brain just constantly compares incoming information with what it 210 00:15:09.799 --> 00:15:14.440 already knows and using past experience to anticipate what comes next. 211 00:15:15.039 --> 00:15:23.679 Super useful, super efficient. Right. However, however, those things can 212 00:15:23.879 --> 00:15:29.840 also get in the way. Right, those things can actually 213 00:15:30.240 --> 00:15:35.840 get in the way. Okay, so we have to start 214 00:15:36.039 --> 00:15:41.799 shifting what's gonna come next, and our brain is going 215 00:15:41.879 --> 00:15:45.679 to be like, no, right, we decide we're going to 216 00:15:45.799 --> 00:15:50.320 change that thing. Like your snack in the afternoon, three 217 00:15:50.320 --> 00:15:54.120 o'clock rolls around and suddenly, right, you have this internal 218 00:15:54.279 --> 00:15:57.519 committee in your head like, well, am I actually hungry? 219 00:15:57.799 --> 00:16:00.360 What should I eat? Do I need protein? Maybe I'll 220 00:16:00.399 --> 00:16:03.480 make yogurt? Do I have yogurt? Where's the protein powder? 221 00:16:03.559 --> 00:16:05.840 Maybe I'll just have a cookie? No, I said, I 222 00:16:05.919 --> 00:16:08.320 wasn't going to do that. Well, one cookie isn't going 223 00:16:08.360 --> 00:16:11.039 to kill me, right, And suddenly the new choice just 224 00:16:11.120 --> 00:16:15.320 feels exhausting. Of course it does, and all you feel like, oh, 225 00:16:15.519 --> 00:16:18.120 if you're trying to hinge your food patterns, you feel 226 00:16:18.159 --> 00:16:20.279 like all you think about is food, and you don't 227 00:16:20.279 --> 00:16:24.720 want to do that again. Right. The old pattern doesn't 228 00:16:24.759 --> 00:16:28.639 require any thought whatsoever, right, but the new one requires 229 00:16:28.720 --> 00:16:32.279 our attention, and that I want you to remember this 230 00:16:32.440 --> 00:16:37.759 one thing. Familiar does not necessarily mean better. Familiar just 231 00:16:37.879 --> 00:16:43.480 means well predicted. And I think we sometimes misinterpret familiarity 232 00:16:43.639 --> 00:16:45.639 with well, that must be what I really need or 233 00:16:45.759 --> 00:16:48.799 what I really want, or that is just who I am, 234 00:16:49.679 --> 00:16:52.080 Or you tell yourself lies like well, I'm just not 235 00:16:52.200 --> 00:16:55.679 disciplined and I always go back back to my old ways. 236 00:16:55.759 --> 00:17:03.279 Well maybe, right, Or maybe you've practiced this one behavior 237 00:17:03.360 --> 00:17:08.160 a thousand times and you practice the new one six times. Right, 238 00:17:08.839 --> 00:17:11.720 that's not fair. It's not fair to yourself. And so 239 00:17:11.839 --> 00:17:15.359 we have to figure out that we're not competing on 240 00:17:15.480 --> 00:17:18.599 equal footing here, and we have to keep going. Oh 241 00:17:18.759 --> 00:17:22.400 that word consistency. We have to keep practicing. Are you 242 00:17:22.480 --> 00:17:24.960 gonna do it right every time? No? But what if 243 00:17:25.000 --> 00:17:28.519 in seven days you get six of them? Right? Right? 244 00:17:28.680 --> 00:17:30.880 Or maybe you start with four out of seven and 245 00:17:30.960 --> 00:17:34.119 then next week it's five, and then it's six, and 246 00:17:34.200 --> 00:17:37.039 then now you're seven out of seven, and next the 247 00:17:37.119 --> 00:17:39.079 following week you're like, oh, I'm gonna do seven out 248 00:17:39.119 --> 00:17:41.640 of seven again, and then you do it, and then 249 00:17:41.680 --> 00:17:44.759 it's month over month. Right. Maybe you have a slip 250 00:17:44.839 --> 00:17:47.920 up one day, but you're like, no, nope, I'm gonna 251 00:17:47.920 --> 00:17:49.559 get right back on it because I'm not gonna I'm 252 00:17:49.599 --> 00:17:52.759 gonna have a good month. Right, So you just keep moving, 253 00:17:53.720 --> 00:17:58.599 And I can tell you that the old way does 254 00:17:58.839 --> 00:18:03.799 have a cost too, Right, When we keep sliding backwards, 255 00:18:04.720 --> 00:18:07.960 it becomes this place where we don't trust ourselves anymore, 256 00:18:07.960 --> 00:18:11.400 and we don't trust ourselves to change. And it's that 257 00:18:11.839 --> 00:18:16.680 internal self trust that starts dogging at our self esteem 258 00:18:17.440 --> 00:18:20.279 and makes us feel crappy and leads us down that 259 00:18:20.400 --> 00:18:24.359 whole shame and guilt path. We don't want to be there, right, 260 00:18:24.440 --> 00:18:27.839 We're forgiven, we don't need to walk down that path. 261 00:18:28.799 --> 00:18:31.839 So when we start changing, we have to become intensely 262 00:18:32.079 --> 00:18:36.119 aware of the cost of the new behavior. You decide 263 00:18:36.160 --> 00:18:38.799 you're going to prepare more meals at home, now you 264 00:18:39.039 --> 00:18:43.359 have to plan, make a grocery list right, go to 265 00:18:43.480 --> 00:18:47.759 the store. Cook the protein. Honestly, y'all, just batch cook 266 00:18:47.839 --> 00:18:51.319 your protein. It makes so much sense. Put it in 267 00:18:51.440 --> 00:18:55.440 glass containers, throw it in your fridge. The rest is easy. 268 00:18:55.519 --> 00:18:56.960 And I don't want to go down that rabbit hole 269 00:18:56.960 --> 00:19:00.200 because I could stay there for a day, right, don't 270 00:19:00.240 --> 00:19:03.559 have a day? So you're thinking, whoa, this is so 271 00:19:03.799 --> 00:19:07.920 much work. But honestly, like it's like starting strength training 272 00:19:08.160 --> 00:19:11.839 and just realizing that, Okay, yes, this is a lot 273 00:19:11.920 --> 00:19:17.119 of work, and it doesn't have to necessarily do with 274 00:19:17.200 --> 00:19:19.680 our lifestyle. Right, Maybe you're trying to communicate differently in 275 00:19:19.759 --> 00:19:23.599 your marriage, or you're learning to pause instead of be reactive, 276 00:19:24.359 --> 00:19:27.680 or you're trying to actually feel things instead of shutting down. 277 00:19:27.880 --> 00:19:30.960 I've definitely spent the last many years figuring that out. 278 00:19:31.920 --> 00:19:36.960 And this new behavior requires some extra attention, so it 279 00:19:37.119 --> 00:19:41.279 has a very visible cost. But the old behavior has 280 00:19:41.319 --> 00:19:47.440 a cost too, and we just haven't noticed it, or 281 00:19:47.880 --> 00:19:52.079 it was maybe noticing it that caused you to want 282 00:19:52.200 --> 00:19:57.680 to shift. And so remembering the old cost in the 283 00:19:57.799 --> 00:20:01.759 moment of the hard of the new cost can help 284 00:20:01.880 --> 00:20:06.079 us keep moving forward. Right, take out every night cost us. 285 00:20:06.119 --> 00:20:09.680 Something not sleeping well cost us, something not moving costs, 286 00:20:09.839 --> 00:20:15.559 something living in chaos cost us. So staying in patterns 287 00:20:15.559 --> 00:20:20.559 that leave us exhausted, frustrated, disconnected all have a cost, 288 00:20:22.680 --> 00:20:24.960 and when you've lived with them long enough. Right, we've 289 00:20:25.039 --> 00:20:27.759 talked about this before. It's like the slow drift. We 290 00:20:27.880 --> 00:20:31.440 talked about this four or five weeks ago, so we 291 00:20:31.599 --> 00:20:37.720 start to normalize that. However, however, we have to stop 292 00:20:37.839 --> 00:20:45.160 and say is this really working? And realize that this 293 00:20:45.359 --> 00:20:52.240 isn't just how life is. Right. Yes, there's a cost 294 00:20:52.359 --> 00:20:55.039 to the new thing, but there's a cost to the 295 00:20:55.200 --> 00:21:02.359 old thing too, So I know, if it's not serving you, 296 00:21:03.039 --> 00:21:06.720 then that's something that we have to keep moving past 297 00:21:07.519 --> 00:21:12.279 and work into something that is saying like, Okay, I 298 00:21:12.440 --> 00:21:17.119 know why isn't this easy yet? But how about asking 299 00:21:17.200 --> 00:21:22.799 yourself how many times have I actually practiced it? Okay? 300 00:21:23.200 --> 00:21:25.400 This is where you give yourself a little grace, not 301 00:21:25.640 --> 00:21:30.200 an excuse to keep doing it the old way, but 302 00:21:30.400 --> 00:21:33.519 just give yourself grace to not be perfect and realize 303 00:21:33.519 --> 00:21:38.000 that failure is part of moving forward. It doesn't mean 304 00:21:38.160 --> 00:21:40.400 that you just have to, oh, I screwed it up again, 305 00:21:40.559 --> 00:21:43.880 there's my day or whatever like, No, just jump back 306 00:21:43.960 --> 00:21:46.599 on your plan the very next meal. Just because you 307 00:21:46.680 --> 00:21:49.279 had a donut in the morning doesn't mean that you 308 00:21:49.720 --> 00:21:52.440 just like can throw away your whole day. You've got 309 00:21:52.480 --> 00:21:55.680 four or five other meals to choose, so let's choose 310 00:21:56.799 --> 00:22:03.559 instead of just just like fallen back into our old pattern. Right. Yes, 311 00:22:03.680 --> 00:22:07.079 there's a cost on both sides of those things. So 312 00:22:07.519 --> 00:22:12.960 sometimes we resist the obvious cost of changing because we've 313 00:22:13.160 --> 00:22:18.759 stopped noticing the hidden cost of staying the same. Okay, 314 00:22:20.799 --> 00:22:25.039 repetition changes what feels normal, right, That's what we were 315 00:22:25.400 --> 00:22:29.160 just saying. So what happens when you keep practicing? What 316 00:22:29.279 --> 00:22:34.000 happens this new thing? How long does it take? Well, 317 00:22:34.119 --> 00:22:37.279 it takes however long it takes twenty one days? Soon 318 00:22:37.359 --> 00:22:40.519 new habit don't count on it. It's more like a 319 00:22:40.599 --> 00:22:44.640 couple of months, if we're being honest, right, Right, you 320 00:22:44.720 --> 00:22:46.960 start two days a week, then three days a week, right, 321 00:22:47.240 --> 00:22:49.559 But in eight weeks you should be at seven days 322 00:22:49.559 --> 00:22:54.160 a week, right, like, yeah, or even six out of seven. 323 00:22:54.680 --> 00:22:59.079 And now you've really created like some momentum for this 324 00:22:59.440 --> 00:23:04.160 change that you've been trying to work on. It doesn't 325 00:23:04.279 --> 00:23:08.640 take as many brain cells to make to do that rut, right, Like, 326 00:23:08.839 --> 00:23:13.519 you've got a good rut coming. You're making that new path, 327 00:23:14.160 --> 00:23:17.519 You're forging those new train tracks in your brain. The 328 00:23:17.599 --> 00:23:21.640 new thing is going to become less new, right. Yes, 329 00:23:21.720 --> 00:23:24.799 it's awkward at first, right, of course, it's very awkward. 330 00:23:24.880 --> 00:23:26.880 My son and I started doing something new together and 331 00:23:27.039 --> 00:23:30.079 it was super awkward. He got it right away because 332 00:23:30.240 --> 00:23:35.039 he's an athlete whatever, but for me, it's still awkward 333 00:23:35.400 --> 00:23:38.240 and I have to really think about all the pieces 334 00:23:38.400 --> 00:23:42.799 of the puzzle to make this thing work. We're having 335 00:23:42.920 --> 00:23:45.519 fun and it's a choice, and I'm going to keep 336 00:23:45.599 --> 00:23:48.039 doing it so that when he comes back from school, 337 00:23:48.079 --> 00:23:53.559 I'm better than him. Ha. Anyway, that's an aside, But 338 00:23:54.680 --> 00:23:57.039 I know that. You know, one of the reasons that 339 00:23:57.119 --> 00:24:00.119 we give up change way too quickly is because we 340 00:24:00.200 --> 00:24:03.519 expect this new behavior to feel natural immediately. Like these 341 00:24:03.599 --> 00:24:08.920 expectations don't match reality. And when our expectations don't match reality, 342 00:24:09.319 --> 00:24:13.359 we have choice then too. Yep, I know. I just 343 00:24:13.519 --> 00:24:16.519 have to keep doing it to make it feel normal 344 00:24:17.440 --> 00:24:21.920 because we've done it before and we can do it again. Right, 345 00:24:22.480 --> 00:24:26.440 it is sustainable, Right, it can become the new you. 346 00:24:27.279 --> 00:24:31.960 What does that new person do? This new person doesn't 347 00:24:31.960 --> 00:24:35.880 eat junk food in the afternoons. Right, you have a 348 00:24:35.960 --> 00:24:40.039 healthy snack at three o'clock. Right, this is my new self. 349 00:24:40.319 --> 00:24:42.920 I have a healthy snack at three o'clock so that 350 00:24:43.000 --> 00:24:48.079 I don't overeat at dinner. Ooh, okay, so now I'm 351 00:24:48.200 --> 00:24:51.640 butting up some new habits together, and that's the whole 352 00:24:51.680 --> 00:24:55.000 atomic habits thing, right, We push them together and then 353 00:24:55.079 --> 00:25:01.000 one begets another. So yes it's hard. Yes, yes it's 354 00:25:01.119 --> 00:25:08.759 very hard, and that is normal friction of learning something new. Right, 355 00:25:08.839 --> 00:25:12.160 the first time you try and exercise or stretch, Right, 356 00:25:12.319 --> 00:25:14.119 the first time you look at a machine, you have 357 00:25:14.200 --> 00:25:16.319 to figure out how to adjust the seed and where 358 00:25:16.440 --> 00:25:19.519 the weights and how much weight and where's my form 359 00:25:19.599 --> 00:25:21.799 and blah blah blah. But six months later, you walk in, 360 00:25:21.920 --> 00:25:24.039 you do the whole thing. You're listening to your tunes, 361 00:25:24.079 --> 00:25:27.279 you're bouncing around. You don't even think about it as much. Right, 362 00:25:27.400 --> 00:25:30.000 you load your weights and you get in your body 363 00:25:30.079 --> 00:25:35.240 stance and you do the thing right. The workout's still hard, 364 00:25:35.599 --> 00:25:40.240 come on, but you just become more efficient at doing it. 365 00:25:40.559 --> 00:25:43.880 And the same thing happens with food or driving. Did 366 00:25:43.960 --> 00:25:45.720 I eat enough at breakfast? What do I need to 367 00:25:45.720 --> 00:25:47.880 eat for dinner? Food? Food? Food, food food. It can 368 00:25:47.920 --> 00:25:52.079 feel like a full time job, but after enough repetition 369 00:25:53.519 --> 00:25:57.599 you will know like, oh, look, that's four ounces of protein. 370 00:25:57.720 --> 00:26:01.279 I know exactly what that is. And you start tracking 371 00:26:01.359 --> 00:26:04.680 and you realize, yep, that's four ounces of protein. I 372 00:26:04.839 --> 00:26:10.119 know exactly what I'm doing. So, like, we talk so 373 00:26:10.359 --> 00:26:16.799 much about this unliving fresh right, my last four or 374 00:26:16.839 --> 00:26:19.960 five months of living fresh. We have talked a lot 375 00:26:20.200 --> 00:26:28.559 about adaptation, and your capacity to adapt isn't only what 376 00:26:28.759 --> 00:26:31.319 got you into old patterns, but it's also what is 377 00:26:31.400 --> 00:26:34.839 going to allow you to build the new ones. And 378 00:26:35.119 --> 00:26:39.160 your body is always responding to what you repeatedly ask 379 00:26:39.519 --> 00:26:43.400 of it, right, Muscle adapts to resistance. We can have 380 00:26:43.640 --> 00:26:49.279 muscle memory, cardiovascular system, your metabolism, We've talked about that 381 00:26:49.440 --> 00:26:55.279 a lot, and your behaviors, right, they can adapt through 382 00:26:55.599 --> 00:26:59.759 repetition as well. So I hope that that leaves you 383 00:27:00.039 --> 00:27:05.680 with some hope, right, not just ah, I don't know 384 00:27:05.720 --> 00:27:08.519 if I can do this, So I think what I 385 00:27:08.680 --> 00:27:12.000 want you to to set Remember, as you start some 386 00:27:12.160 --> 00:27:16.079 new things, don't wait for it to feel natural. Right, 387 00:27:17.279 --> 00:27:21.039 And this brings us to the part I really want 388 00:27:21.119 --> 00:27:23.960 you to hear. You don't have to wait until the 389 00:27:24.079 --> 00:27:29.480 new behavior feels natural to do it because right now, right, 390 00:27:29.599 --> 00:27:32.839 you're going, what what? That just kind of blew your mind? Right, 391 00:27:32.920 --> 00:27:35.119 You don't have to wait until the new behavior feels 392 00:27:35.200 --> 00:27:39.319 natural to do it because the actually that's backwards. Your 393 00:27:39.400 --> 00:27:44.759 new behavior is never going to feel natural. However, you 394 00:27:44.960 --> 00:27:48.519 have to do it for it to feel natural. Right, 395 00:27:49.039 --> 00:27:51.680 when I become more disciplined, I'll start exercising. When I 396 00:27:51.799 --> 00:27:53.720 become a morning person, I'll get up earlier when I 397 00:27:53.759 --> 00:27:56.680 feel motivated. All Right, you hear where I'm coming from, right, 398 00:27:57.400 --> 00:28:00.359 But honestly, it's the practice that has to come from first. 399 00:28:01.079 --> 00:28:04.599 You have to practice getting up. You have to practice 400 00:28:04.640 --> 00:28:07.519 working out, you have to practice meal prep, you have 401 00:28:07.640 --> 00:28:10.720