1
00:00:06,799 --> 00:00:16,480
Speaker 1: You are now listening to soft Core History. What is up?

2
00:00:16,519 --> 00:00:19,239
Welcome back to Softcore History. I am your host for

3
00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:24,320
the week, Rob Fox, joined as always by Dan Regester.

4
00:00:24,559 --> 00:00:25,960
Speaker 2: Always a pleasure to be on the show.

5
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:26,160
Speaker 3: Rod.

6
00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:28,640
Speaker 1: Happy to have you back, and we have a very

7
00:00:28,679 --> 00:00:34,000
special returning guest, one of the favorites of the program,

8
00:00:34,039 --> 00:00:35,560
Missus Jesse Wiseman.

9
00:00:35,799 --> 00:00:40,039
Speaker 4: Oh, thank you and missus Jesse Wiseman even Yeah, missus,

10
00:00:40,079 --> 00:00:40,399
I like.

11
00:00:40,399 --> 00:00:45,359
Speaker 1: That I wanted to address you formally after spending eight

12
00:00:45,399 --> 00:00:48,880
hours listening to your sex noises, yeah, the last day

13
00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:49,359
and a half.

14
00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:49,799
Speaker 2: Yeah.

15
00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:52,320
Speaker 4: Do you like at the end when you were letting

16
00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:55,640
me listen that I just looked you right in the eye. Yeah,

17
00:00:55,719 --> 00:00:58,039
because I was like, you need to know, yeah, that

18
00:00:58,159 --> 00:01:02,119
this is a really uncomfortable thing that you did. But

19
00:01:02,439 --> 00:01:03,359
when is it coming out?

20
00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:04,760
Speaker 1: She should be next week.

21
00:01:04,879 --> 00:01:05,319
Speaker 2: Very excited.

22
00:01:05,359 --> 00:01:07,920
Speaker 3: We have a sketch coming out next week on the

23
00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:12,079
Patreon pageon dot com Last Software History where Jesse and

24
00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:14,599
Jack Mandeville Next, Sweet Sweet Love.

25
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:18,040
Speaker 1: Sweet Audio Love, Audio Love.

26
00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:20,879
Speaker 4: There's something kind of you know, like because we're into

27
00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:24,640
the amateur stuff, Bob, you and I, there's something kind

28
00:01:24,719 --> 00:01:30,319
of uh naughty about an audio only do you know

29
00:01:30,359 --> 00:01:30,760
what I mean.

30
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:33,159
Speaker 1: Well, I think the audio is for me. That's like

31
00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:34,400
half the fun.

32
00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:38,239
Speaker 4: Right, do you search like dirty talking? You know what

33
00:01:38,319 --> 00:01:38,599
I mean?

34
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:41,159
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's if I get an amateur VID and then

35
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:42,280
she's just a mouse.

36
00:01:42,599 --> 00:01:45,920
Speaker 4: Dude, hate that shit off? What do you think this is?

37
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:46,239
Speaker 3: Dude?

38
00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:49,640
Speaker 4: This is your one chance? Yeah, one chance.

39
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:52,079
Speaker 3: A big JOI guy, what's that?

40
00:01:52,159 --> 00:01:55,359
Speaker 2: What instructions? Yeah?

41
00:01:55,439 --> 00:01:58,760
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah yeah yeah. I get on a cam and

42
00:01:58,799 --> 00:01:59,840
I'm like, tell me what to do.

43
00:02:00,159 --> 00:02:03,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, like a teaching moment.

44
00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:06,120
Speaker 1: Now, because I'm married, I do have to do it

45
00:02:06,159 --> 00:02:08,520
in the hall bathroom at midnight.

46
00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:14,120
Speaker 4: Oh cool? Yeah, yeah, that makes it amateur, right, you

47
00:02:14,159 --> 00:02:15,479
go amateur on amateur.

48
00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:17,840
Speaker 2: I love that it don't lie you sneak out in

49
00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:18,400
your car.

50
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:23,680
Speaker 4: That's so much even creepier neighbors walking by, Yeah, it's

51
00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:25,879
very It's an open neighborhood.

52
00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:28,159
Speaker 1: Like everyone is. Our neighborhoods so dark because it's one

53
00:02:28,199 --> 00:02:31,080
of those dark sky neighborhood where everyone walks their dogs

54
00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:33,719
with like flashlights and ship'd.

55
00:02:32,879 --> 00:02:35,120
Speaker 4: Be like yeah yeah, and all the break ins that

56
00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:36,120
are happening, they'd be like.

57
00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:38,840
Speaker 1: Hey, hey, yeah, who's in his car?

58
00:02:39,639 --> 00:02:43,280
Speaker 4: And then they would immediately understand do you know what

59
00:02:43,319 --> 00:02:45,039
I mean? Like, if it was a dude, like a dad,

60
00:02:45,319 --> 00:02:47,840
You're like, all right, Like I fucking get it.

61
00:02:47,919 --> 00:02:51,080
Speaker 1: Bro'm sorry, man, you turn your dome light off. That'll

62
00:02:51,199 --> 00:02:52,719
just be my one request.

63
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:53,039
Speaker 3: Yeah.

64
00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:55,000
Speaker 4: That's the thing with these, you know, all the cars,

65
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,039
with all the sensors, I'd just be worried that, like

66
00:02:57,159 --> 00:02:59,240
something would fucking turn on or you.

67
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:02,400
Speaker 1: Hit one wrong. But yeah, all of a sudden, you're

68
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:03,680
doing it for the whole neighborhood.

69
00:03:03,879 --> 00:03:05,759
Speaker 4: Yeah, because we're all rich. What's up?

70
00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:07,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, gated community? What up?

71
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:10,520
Speaker 4: What I know? I fucking just realized that you have

72
00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:11,520
a gated community.

73
00:03:11,599 --> 00:03:13,560
Speaker 1: Yes, I can't relate to your break ins comment, I

74
00:03:13,719 --> 00:03:16,800
live in apartment for the people out there.

75
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,919
Speaker 4: Yeah, because you're doing it right now. Listen, Bob and

76
00:03:19,919 --> 00:03:22,719
I say success Yet, Bob and I would say there

77
00:03:22,719 --> 00:03:26,039
are moments where we go, God, we miss the fucking apartment.

78
00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:27,639
Speaker 3: Dude, Rob comes from money.

79
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:32,400
Speaker 4: You call somebody to fucking fix your shit. It's amazing

80
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:36,639
you could walk away from that thing and live your

81
00:03:36,759 --> 00:03:40,360
life still stress of that gone.

82
00:03:40,919 --> 00:03:42,560
Speaker 1: I mean, you can literally just be like, God, damn it,

83
00:03:42,599 --> 00:03:46,039
my apartment's on fire. You're like, Hey, the apartment's on fire.

84
00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:47,159
Speaker 4: It's not fire, dude.

85
00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:48,840
Speaker 1: Yeah. Now, if there's like a hole in my wall,

86
00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:51,159
I'm like, my life's over. Yep, that is a fight.

87
00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:54,560
I'll never recover from that. Financially, yep, patch it up?

88
00:03:54,639 --> 00:03:57,680
Did I'll never recover from that financial Who No.

89
00:03:57,719 --> 00:03:59,919
Speaker 4: Because we could patch it up, but it's not gonna

90
00:03:59,919 --> 00:04:02,080
be professional. And if we ever try and sell it,

91
00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:03,159
that's the one thing that.

92
00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:06,800
Speaker 1: Yep, yep, you will still have to get someone to

93
00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:07,159
pay for it.

94
00:04:07,159 --> 00:04:08,879
Speaker 2: I think the appeal of owning a home is to

95
00:04:08,919 --> 00:04:09,479
moa lawn.

96
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:12,439
Speaker 1: That is truly one of the happiest moments of my

97
00:04:12,439 --> 00:04:13,520
week is mowing the lawn.

98
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:14,919
Speaker 2: Throw the earbuds in.

99
00:04:15,479 --> 00:04:18,319
Speaker 4: Yeah, sitting down or pushing.

100
00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:21,120
Speaker 1: Be a little egregious to have a I have a

101
00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:22,600
big backyard, but not bringing up for.

102
00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:26,720
Speaker 4: A rider, dude, a little patch. I'd get a rider.

103
00:04:27,439 --> 00:04:31,439
Speaker 3: Push mo, you decompress, get away from your kids, your wife.

104
00:04:31,439 --> 00:04:33,959
Speaker 1: Oh you fill out that exercise circle real fast on

105
00:04:33,959 --> 00:04:34,519
your Apple Watch.

106
00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:37,000
Speaker 4: Oh no, ship when I see people in the summer,

107
00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:37,800
you do that ship.

108
00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:39,600
Speaker 1: Yeah. I usually have to do it during the kids

109
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,240
naptime too, so it's like a two o'clock mo.

110
00:04:41,959 --> 00:04:46,040
Speaker 4: What the fuck? Using lots of weight.

111
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,160
Speaker 3: What the kids are just staying asleep as you know.

112
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:50,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, they got noise machines.

113
00:04:50,639 --> 00:04:53,000
Speaker 4: And by the way, that's like a noise machine for them.

114
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,240
Like if you started at the right time and just

115
00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:56,160
keep it going.

116
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:57,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, don't.

117
00:04:57,439 --> 00:04:59,240
Speaker 3: Also, maybe get a sniff of the gas can.

118
00:05:00,199 --> 00:05:01,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a good smell.

119
00:05:02,079 --> 00:05:03,720
Speaker 3: Some of the simple pleasures of life.

120
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:07,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do like to have some gas. Yeah, it's fun.

121
00:05:07,959 --> 00:05:10,279
Speaker 4: I would say, try it out, but don't do it

122
00:05:10,759 --> 00:05:12,079
because we're all envious of you.

123
00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:14,279
Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean of sniffing gas or

124
00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:15,439
living in an apartment.

125
00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:18,639
Speaker 4: Oh, I will say, like own a house, but don't because.

126
00:05:18,399 --> 00:05:20,360
Speaker 1: We have an early day to day. Yeah, just even

127
00:05:20,399 --> 00:05:21,920
the family stuff too. We have an early day. And

128
00:05:21,959 --> 00:05:23,920
I was like, oh, sick, dude. If I time it

129
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:27,079
right and if this show doesn't run overly long, then

130
00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:29,439
I get to get home right when my kids napping,

131
00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:31,000
and then maybe I get to take a nap for

132
00:05:31,079 --> 00:05:32,439
like forty five minutes.

133
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,639
Speaker 4: That's happened to me maybe two times in my life.

134
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:36,920
And it's amazing.

135
00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:39,160
Speaker 1: He's not even excited if my wife, if I came

136
00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:41,240
with his wife, if my wife came home and was like, hey,

137
00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:42,680
do you want to fuck write down? I'm like nope,

138
00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:45,639
I'm napping, which is gonna make me come a thousand

139
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:46,279
times harder.

140
00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:50,879
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, just let me nap it out, nap it out,

141
00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:54,199
nap baby. Alright, Sorry, sorry about all the banter. You know,

142
00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:56,079
I like to banter guys.

143
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:59,560
Speaker 1: You're good, You're one of our best banter cos banters.

144
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,480
But we have an episode for you today because you

145
00:06:03,519 --> 00:06:07,480
are the host of Crime Corner, the wildly successful crime show.

146
00:06:07,639 --> 00:06:09,279
Thank you, if you can find it anywhere.

147
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:12,279
Speaker 3: I'm occasionally producing it. But yeah I got bombed.

148
00:06:12,759 --> 00:06:20,439
Speaker 4: Yeah you'll probably be back on it. But anyway, hell yeah,

149
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:24,920
we've got a revolving door of producers for sure. But yeah,

150
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:28,639
doing quite well once videos on Spotify. People are liking it,

151
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,639
so I don't know, check it out.

152
00:06:30,759 --> 00:06:33,360
Speaker 1: So we got some crime for you today.

153
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:34,120
Speaker 4: Thank you.

154
00:06:34,399 --> 00:06:35,199
Speaker 1: You're the crime queen.

155
00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:35,879
Speaker 4: Thank you.

156
00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:39,040
Speaker 3: But of course, and we're gonna do something you're never

157
00:06:39,079 --> 00:06:39,680
gonna touch.

158
00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:42,000
Speaker 1: Oh yeah yeah, oh yeah.

159
00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:43,600
Speaker 3: In a million years, do you guys have like a

160
00:06:43,639 --> 00:06:45,879
window where it's like we don't go further than like

161
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:46,800
fifty years back.

162
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,879
Speaker 4: Yeah, we've done a couple, but it's it's hard to

163
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:53,360
relate to that kind of freedom when it comes to crime.

164
00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:56,800
Speaker 1: It's like oh yeah, right literally yeah, And also you

165
00:06:56,839 --> 00:06:59,040
can't relate to the victims like, oh, she worked twenty

166
00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:01,600
hours in a button fan and yeah, prostitute for the

167
00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:02,600
other eight hours a day.

168
00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:03,079
Speaker 2: That's right.

169
00:07:03,439 --> 00:07:06,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, days were twenty eight hours for laborers back then.

170
00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:10,079
And right it's like, I don't I mean, it sounds

171
00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:11,040
like it was a relief.

172
00:07:11,319 --> 00:07:13,439
Speaker 4: Yeah, they're not tracking cell phones, no, do you know

173
00:07:13,519 --> 00:07:16,240
what I mean? They're not got CCTV like you really are.

174
00:07:16,319 --> 00:07:18,800
Just like, there's if you get caught. Here's the thing.

175
00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:21,639
If you get caught back then you're a piece of shit,

176
00:07:22,319 --> 00:07:23,439
sloppy motherfucker.

177
00:07:23,519 --> 00:07:23,879
Speaker 1: Yeah.

178
00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:25,399
Speaker 4: So that's that's what kind of interesting.

179
00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:29,160
Speaker 3: It's like taking the drug test and getting popped for cocaine. Rightly,

180
00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:31,279
so the system within forty eight hours.

181
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,160
Speaker 4: You want to get caught. You're bored at that point.

182
00:07:33,199 --> 00:07:35,360
Speaker 1: You're right, come on, you do have a problem if

183
00:07:35,399 --> 00:07:38,160
you fail at drug test with cocaine. Oh, you actually

184
00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:42,519
have a problem, yeah, because you're doing it too much. Yeah,

185
00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:48,279
but today we have one of the most infamous killers

186
00:07:48,279 --> 00:07:54,000
in all of ancient Roman history. Okay, and more than that,

187
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,360
it's a lady Ooh, I.

188
00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:00,519
Speaker 4: Was gonna say Roman history, this one's for the ladies,

189
00:08:00,639 --> 00:08:01,199
but it.

190
00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:09,079
Speaker 1: Is for she was not just a murderer, but an assassin. Okay,

191
00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:10,720
a poison queen.

192
00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:14,399
Speaker 4: We always are. We keep it clean, do you know

193
00:08:14,399 --> 00:08:18,439
what I mean? Nothing? Nothing, hack him up, gory, No,

194
00:08:18,639 --> 00:08:20,160
we keep it nice and clean.

195
00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:24,319
Speaker 3: Get a little flirtatious poor a glass of wine.

196
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,839
Speaker 1: That that is how one of them happened in this episode.

197
00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:32,120
She's a clever little minx too. We're talking about Lacusta

198
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:37,039
of Gaul, Emperor Nero's master of poisons.

199
00:08:37,919 --> 00:08:39,240
Speaker 4: Master poisons.

200
00:08:39,399 --> 00:08:42,200
Speaker 1: What a t actually, I believe technically it was the

201
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:43,360
Imperial poisoner.

202
00:08:44,279 --> 00:08:47,200
Speaker 4: Even fucking batter by the way I would have gone

203
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:47,679
with that one.

204
00:08:47,759 --> 00:08:53,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, just having somebody on staff that masters poisons.

205
00:08:52,679 --> 00:08:54,720
Speaker 4: Bring out the poisoner. I don't want to bring out

206
00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:57,519
I don't want to bring up ditty, but like, bring

207
00:08:57,559 --> 00:08:58,600
out the poisoner.

208
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the sort of power that people just don't

209
00:09:02,159 --> 00:09:02,720
have anymore.

210
00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:05,919
Speaker 2: He's not in court if he has a poisoner.

211
00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:07,480
Speaker 1: No true.

212
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,559
Speaker 4: True problems taking care of true true.

213
00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:13,840
Speaker 1: So Lacusta. Not a lot is known about her early life.

214
00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:16,360
She was born in Gaul. We know that much modern

215
00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:20,600
day France. Uh, And she probably grew up and she

216
00:09:20,639 --> 00:09:22,799
was a commoner. She's a peasant, and she probably grew

217
00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:26,360
up learning about herbs and botany because she was poor

218
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:28,679
and just had to eat leaves basically her whole life

219
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:33,759
growing up like that situation or that might even be generous.

220
00:09:36,879 --> 00:09:40,279
Speaker 2: And a couple of her friends died eating the wrong thing.

221
00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:43,039
Speaker 1: And you're like, oh, yeah, you has to know which

222
00:09:43,159 --> 00:09:48,720
mushrooms are bad, which plants are bad, which was yeah,

223
00:09:48,759 --> 00:09:51,120
so she knew. She grew up knowing like you can

224
00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,600
eat this, don't eat this, that'll fucking kill you, so

225
00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:57,559
on and so forth. At some point, they don't know

226
00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:02,159
when she moved to Rome and was still obviously a

227
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:06,679
poor girl or whatever, and was like being poor sucks.

228
00:10:07,639 --> 00:10:09,720
How do I make some money? And then she was like,

229
00:10:09,799 --> 00:10:14,000
you know what, everyone in the city's an asshole. I

230
00:10:14,039 --> 00:10:15,759
bet they'd be into poisoning each other.

231
00:10:15,919 --> 00:10:17,320
Speaker 4: Everyone in Rome is an asshole.

232
00:10:17,399 --> 00:10:20,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, it's just like a city, like you know,

233
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:23,480
people like Washington, DC's the swamp, like multiply that times

234
00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:25,159
a billion and you have Rome.

235
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:27,879
Speaker 4: Basically, yeah, I do hate everyone out there.

236
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, so that's why the in cels gravitate to reme.

237
00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:32,720
Uh okay, modern day.

238
00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:37,559
Speaker 4: Okay, because it's something that they were men.

239
00:10:38,519 --> 00:10:40,480
Speaker 3: If you're you're about ancient Rome, you gotta be down

240
00:10:40,519 --> 00:10:42,039
the fuck guys.

241
00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:45,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what I see. Like I don't ask it

242
00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:46,840
because I'm just like, whatever, I don't want to get

243
00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:50,480
into a conversation about ancient Rome, right, But I'm just like,

244
00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:54,240
but what is that makes sense? Like when men were men,

245
00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:58,960
but they were so manly that they were powerfully.

246
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:02,080
Speaker 3: Banging, banging each other, dominate another man each other.

247
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:05,120
Speaker 1: Also boy slaves also, So that's what I'm saying, Like,

248
00:11:05,159 --> 00:11:06,919
if you're an in cel and you're like I want

249
00:11:06,919 --> 00:11:09,840
to bed, we're mad A shoot, Rob, I don't. I'm

250
00:11:09,879 --> 00:11:11,960
tired of all this queer modern shit and like I

251
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:16,440
have a terror. I have horrible news for you. Horrible

252
00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:17,440
news for you.

253
00:11:17,279 --> 00:11:21,440
Speaker 4: Real quick. It's still a little history podcast.

254
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:24,080
Speaker 3: And so they were kind of chads though, you know,

255
00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:26,960
if the woman's giving you a lip, you just go

256
00:11:27,039 --> 00:11:28,039
over and bang your boy.

257
00:11:28,399 --> 00:11:30,840
Speaker 1: That was I don't think I told you about this

258
00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:35,639
in an episode where we did an episode of just

259
00:11:35,679 --> 00:11:40,039
like ancient Roman sexuality like stories for Asia and uh

260
00:11:40,279 --> 00:11:43,759
as a wife try to credit put yourself in this situation.

261
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:46,440
I know you say it's hard to uh empathize with

262
00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:49,000
like a murder victim from the eighteen hundreds. Try to

263
00:11:49,039 --> 00:11:50,519
see if you can see if you can wrap your

264
00:11:50,519 --> 00:11:53,279
mind around this on the show before. But I guess

265
00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:57,440
at one point some ancient Roman wealthy person, patrician class

266
00:11:57,480 --> 00:12:00,759
person and noble was like with his wife ife at home,

267
00:12:00,879 --> 00:12:06,960
and she was like, I will never never let you

268
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:07,840
do anal with me.

269
00:12:08,879 --> 00:12:10,559
Speaker 3: Ever, she just said it.

270
00:12:10,679 --> 00:12:12,399
Speaker 1: I guess that's how it came up in some way.

271
00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:19,720
And he laughs at her and yanksen his teenage slave

272
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:24,440
and bends him over and shows her his butthole, and

273
00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:28,200
it's like, you think I want that? Look at this,

274
00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:30,559
I guess whenever I want.

275
00:12:30,799 --> 00:12:33,960
Speaker 4: Rob, You're taking a lot of liberties with this story.

276
00:12:33,679 --> 00:12:38,200
Speaker 1: Right, I mean I'm not speaking Latin, I guess.

277
00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:42,480
Speaker 4: Okay, it's loosely translated, right, yeah, Okay.

278
00:12:42,279 --> 00:12:45,159
Speaker 1: Like I'm a fucking look like Danny McBride, and this

279
00:12:45,279 --> 00:12:48,240
is the end or whatever. Yes with Channing Tatum, flight

280
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:49,559
into that whatever I want.

281
00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:50,679
Speaker 4: Whenever I want.

282
00:12:51,759 --> 00:12:53,679
Speaker 1: So anyway, she's like, because the.

283
00:12:53,759 --> 00:12:58,399
Speaker 4: Slave is just there to be pimped in. Okay, I

284
00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:00,080
really don't understand the room.

285
00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:04,759
Speaker 1: But yeah, it's an interesting place in time. Yeah. So

286
00:13:04,879 --> 00:13:06,279
she moved to Rome and she's like, dude, I bet

287
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,759
I can sell poisons like crazy and just like crush it.

288
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:15,399
Yeah so she does. And business is a booming because greed, ambition,

289
00:13:15,639 --> 00:13:17,720
all this shit is just rampant in Rome. People want

290
00:13:17,759 --> 00:13:20,000
to kill each other constantly for little things. And like

291
00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:23,440
you said, if you get caught for killing someone any

292
00:13:23,559 --> 00:13:26,559
time before nineteen eighty, yeah pathetic.

293
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:28,919
Speaker 3: You're sloppy, especially.

294
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:31,600
Speaker 4: If you have money, like the people that are hiring her.

295
00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:34,320
Oh yeah, you have money, and you get caught in

296
00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:37,039
this era, you're a fucking idiot.

297
00:13:37,759 --> 00:13:43,600
Speaker 1: Problem is, business was booming. Girl boss right, making money.

298
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:45,879
Speaker 4: My favorite term, I love it.

299
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:50,720
Speaker 1: But she got too popular.

300
00:13:51,559 --> 00:13:53,320
Speaker 4: Well known? Yeah yeah yeah, yeah.

301
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:55,879
Speaker 1: Word got out. She's probably someone rolled over on her.

302
00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:59,399
Yeah who would some slob who did get caught rolls over.

303
00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:00,919
Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, you know what I mean.

304
00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:05,120
Speaker 1: For sure, she gets thrown in jail, gets tossed in

305
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:05,879
Roman jail.

306
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,679
Speaker 4: Of course it's her and not the person that writes her.

307
00:14:08,759 --> 00:14:12,519
But anyway where she likely you know, would have just

308
00:14:12,639 --> 00:14:13,320
rotted away.

309
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:19,080
Speaker 1: He just rotted behind bars. Sure, but she was that good,

310
00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:24,039
and word got out all the way to the top,

311
00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:27,600
all the way to the top of the Roman Empress Agrippina.

312
00:14:28,279 --> 00:14:29,759
Speaker 4: Oh it is a chick at this time.

313
00:14:29,879 --> 00:14:33,000
Speaker 1: A well, she's not. She's just like the queen. She

314
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:35,759
just like, there's there's an emperor. Oh okay, yeah, yeah.

315
00:14:35,679 --> 00:14:38,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, come on, come on now, dude, what are you

316
00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:39,600
fucking even talking about.

317
00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:43,440
Speaker 1: So this is Nero's mom, Agrippina the Younger. So in

318
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:49,200
fifty four BC, Agrippina worried that her son Nero might

319
00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:53,080
not ascend to the throne because it's her son. But

320
00:14:53,159 --> 00:14:55,519
it's only the Emperor Claudius's adopted son.

321
00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:58,679
Speaker 4: Oh so it won't the lineage isn't gonna write.

322
00:14:58,679 --> 00:15:03,279
Speaker 1: And he's got other kids. Vine Nero's the oldest. Yeah,

323
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:05,240
he's the oldest, and he has been adopted. And a

324
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:07,440
lot of people do just get adopted into it, Like

325
00:15:07,519 --> 00:15:10,039
a lot of emperors are adopted sons of the emperor

326
00:15:10,039 --> 00:15:13,759
they succeeded, so they can fuck him. Yeah, I mean maybe,

327
00:15:13,879 --> 00:15:17,600
I don't know, you're not You're probably right, right, But

328
00:15:18,279 --> 00:15:21,200
she's still worried. She's like, I need to lock this down.

329
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:24,039
I need my boy to be the emperor. So She's like,

330
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:27,320
I'm gonna pull I'm gonna kill Claudius the emperor. I

331
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,639
need to kill him to make sure Nero inherits the

332
00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:32,039
throne because all the other kids are pretty young. Okay,

333
00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:33,440
I like old enough.

334
00:15:33,799 --> 00:15:34,799
Speaker 4: So this is your window.

335
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:39,399
Speaker 1: Yes, okay, So obviously not easy to murder an emperor.

336
00:15:39,559 --> 00:15:44,960
He's got guards, food testers, so on do they have? Yeah? Okay, yeah,

337
00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:46,360
they've got food testers and all this.

338
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:49,879
Speaker 4: Shit that like they drop dead and they go yep, yep,

339
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:51,519
yep every time.

340
00:15:51,519 --> 00:15:55,360
Speaker 3: You're like, yeah, you're going through a dozen food testers

341
00:15:55,399 --> 00:15:55,720
a week.

342
00:15:56,159 --> 00:15:57,559
Speaker 4: Yeah, no shit, huh yeah yeah.

343
00:15:57,879 --> 00:15:59,480
Speaker 1: But I mean if the food tester drops dead, you're

344
00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:02,480
immediately just kill basically kill anyone you suspect of doing it.

345
00:16:02,519 --> 00:16:03,639
Speaker 4: Oh yeah yeah yeah.

346
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:07,600
Speaker 1: So they need a real sexy plan to get around

347
00:16:07,639 --> 00:16:12,679
the food tester. Okay, Agrippina great poisoner, that doesn't just

348
00:16:12,759 --> 00:16:14,600
mean kill.

349
00:16:14,799 --> 00:16:15,840
Speaker 4: Ah.

350
00:16:15,879 --> 00:16:20,120
Speaker 1: So she cooks up a little something gives the food

351
00:16:20,159 --> 00:16:24,720
tester slash guard some diarrhea. Okay, and he's got a

352
00:16:24,759 --> 00:16:29,200
call in sick, like in the moment, almost like right

353
00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:32,440
twenty minutes before he's like oh god, and like just

354
00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:36,080
runs out that bad Yeah.

355
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:39,200
Speaker 4: So then and back then by the way, diarrhea, get

356
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:42,000
your affairs in order, your fucking you're fucking dead.

357
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:45,519
Speaker 3: It'll be your last day yea, yeah, yeah, super dehydrated.

358
00:16:45,639 --> 00:16:48,519
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's whatever it is. Diarrhea killed you back in

359
00:16:48,559 --> 00:16:48,799
the day.

360
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:52,360
Speaker 1: Immediate, almost immediately, almost immediately. Yeah, just like one run

361
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:54,879
and you're out and you're in what a way. You're like,

362
00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:00,279
and it's by the way, there's public toilets. Oh bath,

363
00:17:00,399 --> 00:17:01,200
So you're just dying around.

364
00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:03,720
Speaker 4: Oh, you're welcoming it at that point, right, You're like

365
00:17:04,079 --> 00:17:06,359
it's almost like a gift. Where're like, yes, I will die.

366
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:07,279
Speaker 1: I think this is horrible.

367
00:17:07,519 --> 00:17:08,200
Speaker 2: I need to leave.

368
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:13,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, So she gives the guard diarrhea. With him out

369
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:16,559
of the way, they serve a plate of mushrooms to Claudius,

370
00:17:16,559 --> 00:17:19,960
it's his favorite food, and sprinkle that with poison, and

371
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,400
Claudius is just like, oh.

372
00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:27,079
Speaker 4: Mushrooms, fuck up, this big fucking grossed Yeah, fucking just

373
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:28,640
powering up like super Mario.

374
00:17:28,799 --> 00:17:33,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, just houses this plate of mushrooms, eats him without hesitation.

375
00:17:34,039 --> 00:17:38,000
But being a cautious man, he's the emperor, he knows

376
00:17:38,079 --> 00:17:40,400
that poison is a weapon that would be used against

377
00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:44,279
him at anytime. Obviously, he has a food tester also,

378
00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:47,759
just as another backup plan and a safety shoot.

379
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:48,839
Speaker 2: He keeps a.

380
00:17:48,759 --> 00:17:54,000
Speaker 1: Feather on the table with him to induce vomiting if

381
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:57,160
he suspects he's being poisoned. So he just jammed that

382
00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:00,279
feather down your throat. Get the poison out. Aren't you

383
00:17:59,839 --> 00:18:01,440
happy you live in twenty twenty five?

384
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:05,319
Speaker 4: Seriously, what a horrible way to make yourself too.

385
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:08,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, before our meal, we're not going to say a prayer,

386
00:18:09,079 --> 00:18:10,200
but I do need my feather?

387
00:18:10,319 --> 00:18:13,799
Speaker 4: Yes, can I have my puking feather, my long peacocks.

388
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:22,599
Speaker 1: The poison kicks in. Claudius starts. His doctor, who is

389
00:18:22,599 --> 00:18:28,160
in the room, jumps into action, grabs the feather, starts

390
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:31,400
just jamming it down its throat like throw up, live live.

391
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:31,920
Speaker 4: Yeah.

392
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:38,240
Speaker 1: But this tricky little girl thought of that too. She

393
00:18:38,279 --> 00:18:39,079
thinks of everything.

394
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:40,039
Speaker 2: The feather's poisoned.

395
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,319
Speaker 1: Feather, so it's poisoned.

396
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:44,799
Speaker 4: What she's so good?

397
00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:46,079
Speaker 1: Yeah?

398
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:46,839
Speaker 4: She hot?

399
00:18:47,119 --> 00:18:49,720
Speaker 1: I hope, so right? We don't know the only there's

400
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:52,720
no paintings of her, course the Augusta of gall There

401
00:18:52,759 --> 00:18:55,200
is a funny painting that from like the Renaissance.

402
00:18:55,519 --> 00:18:57,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's her.

403
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:01,720
Speaker 1: This kind of spoils something later once she becomes imperial poisoner.

404
00:19:02,839 --> 00:19:05,319
It's just a painting of her testing poison on a slave.

405
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:10,920
Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, I mean hot back then was a different thing.

406
00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:13,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, who knows, but.

407
00:19:13,799 --> 00:19:16,200
Speaker 4: Yeah she was able to. You can't do all this

408
00:19:16,359 --> 00:19:19,000
and not be like a little bit good looking, right,

409
00:19:19,079 --> 00:19:19,559
you would think.

410
00:19:19,599 --> 00:19:22,240
Speaker 1: And honestly, maybe she's wasn't that good looking for them,

411
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,240
but like good looking now because she's like probably thin

412
00:19:24,319 --> 00:19:25,000
because she grew up.

413
00:19:25,519 --> 00:19:28,039
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, and they're like ew gross, yeah exactly here,

414
00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:30,119
you've never eaten anything.

415
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:34,759
Speaker 3: She has to induce the male gaze in order to distract.

416
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:38,319
Speaker 1: Right, right, or she's so unattractive that no one noticed

417
00:19:38,319 --> 00:19:39,160
pays her any attention.

418
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:41,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, and they wouldn't think of her. Actually that's literally

419
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:43,079
not even probably the case.

420
00:19:43,799 --> 00:19:45,480
Speaker 3: But you'll get that gross bitch out of here.

421
00:19:45,519 --> 00:19:47,680
Speaker 1: I'm not looking at this. What the fuck? Yeah, you don't,

422
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,319
doesn't it. You don't even clock her, it doesn't.

423
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:52,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's almost like no one's in the room. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

424
00:19:52,279 --> 00:19:52,680
I got you.

425
00:19:53,799 --> 00:19:59,240
Speaker 1: So the feather had been poisoned, Claudius dies and Nero

426
00:19:59,759 --> 00:20:01,480
A sends to the throne.

427
00:20:02,759 --> 00:20:05,599
Speaker 2: Did he not have his succession plan in order? No?

428
00:20:05,759 --> 00:20:09,240
Speaker 1: And so Agrippina was like just made sure to.

429
00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:12,480
Speaker 4: Like she had this small window of like, if this

430
00:20:12,559 --> 00:20:15,279
happened suddenly he hadn't we can get him right in there.

431
00:20:15,279 --> 00:20:17,880
Speaker 1: He and she had enough supporters that were like, you know,

432
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:21,440
just grab the boys head, here's the cow good, don't

433
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:22,400
ask any questions.

434
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:25,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, hose ain't loyal. Did she even like her husband?

435
00:20:25,279 --> 00:20:28,839
Speaker 4: No, No, anyone like their husbands back then.

436
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,119
Speaker 3: Yeah, but maybe she made a sacrifice for her son.

437
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:32,759
Speaker 1: Well, he also had multiple.

438
00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:37,480
Speaker 4: Wives, so yeah, there was no like love. It was

439
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:40,039
really just like how do I get to the top.

440
00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:41,839
Speaker 1: She this woman's making business decisions?

441
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:44,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, cut throat, they all are.

442
00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:46,920
Speaker 4: That's why. Like a hole as a hole and nobody's

443
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:47,759
like in love.

444
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,960
Speaker 1: No, no, that didn't exist.

445
00:20:50,039 --> 00:20:51,640
Speaker 2: Actually there was. There was one dude that was in

446
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:52,640
love and it cost him.

447
00:20:53,319 --> 00:20:56,440
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah. The emperor who was before he was

448
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:58,240
a couple of a couple of people before Nero. Right,

449
00:20:59,319 --> 00:21:01,000
he was right now, right for Augusta. So he was

450
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:02,319
like two or three emperors before Nero.

451
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:03,720
Speaker 3: Yeah.

452
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:07,559
Speaker 1: Who the other emperor was like, ah, for business reasons,

453
00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:11,200
I needed to divorce that wife you love and marry

454
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:11,640
a new chick.

455
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:14,119
Speaker 4: And it drove him insane, the guy that had to

456
00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:16,720
get divorced. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because he was actually in love.

457
00:21:16,799 --> 00:21:19,240
Yeah well first mistake.

458
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:21,319
Speaker 1: Right, I was thinking like mark Ane, Oh that too,

459
00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:24,240
mark Antony also love really well, I don't think that

460
00:21:24,279 --> 00:21:26,200
was love. I think that was lust.

461
00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:29,839
Speaker 4: See okay, now I get it too, Like the the

462
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:34,799
obsession with ancient Rome, right is like it wasn't There

463
00:21:34,839 --> 00:21:35,680
was no like love.

464
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:39,039
Speaker 1: It was all just you do what you gotta do, right,

465
00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:40,799
do you gotta do and do what you want to do, do.

466
00:21:40,759 --> 00:21:41,960
Speaker 4: What you gotta do, do what you want to do.

467
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:46,759
Because now we know that kind of love will ruin everything. Yeah,

468
00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:50,440
it's the fall of the entire empire. Is love if

469
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:51,079
you break it down.

470
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:55,400
Speaker 1: But going, so, Nero ascends to the throne. But Nero,

471
00:21:55,960 --> 00:22:00,960
who famously was not a nice person, uh, needed more

472
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:05,200
people debt Okay, so he asked his mom's poison, Wench,

473
00:22:06,319 --> 00:22:09,319
to take care of someone else for him, because, like

474
00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:12,799
I said, he was, you know, shoved onto the throne.

475
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,240
But Claudius's other sons still existed.

476
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:17,200
Speaker 3: Right.

477
00:22:17,519 --> 00:22:24,279
Speaker 1: Oh so at this point I guess Agrippina like employed

478
00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:27,000
Lacusta but didn't free her from jail.

479
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:29,240
Speaker 4: So she had to like go back to jail when

480
00:22:29,279 --> 00:22:29,920
she was done.

481
00:22:30,039 --> 00:22:32,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, so Nero.

482
00:22:31,839 --> 00:22:34,920
Speaker 4: People, dude, they just fucking treated him like shit.

483
00:22:35,039 --> 00:22:35,119
Speaker 2: Right.

484
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,279
Speaker 1: So Nero comes to her and.

485
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:39,559
Speaker 3: You gotta be in a dungeon to kind of, you know,

486
00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:41,880
brew up your your witch poison.

487
00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:44,720
Speaker 4: The dungeon in their cast whatever it is.

488
00:22:44,799 --> 00:22:46,839
Speaker 1: What I don't know what her leaf access is in

489
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:50,200
a prison, right, but she's got the knowledge and that's

490
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:53,000
what counts. So she's in prison. It's fifty five a

491
00:22:53,079 --> 00:22:56,680
d I said PC earlier. Ad Uh. Nero comes to

492
00:22:56,720 --> 00:23:00,240
her cell and is like, I need some fucking and

493
00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:06,359
poison because I got a younger brother, Britannicus, and he

494
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:09,799
is Claudius's son, and there are people who think he

495
00:23:09,839 --> 00:23:12,880
should be the emperor. So he's got to go. That

496
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:14,839
nine year old has got to go.

497
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:19,799
Speaker 4: Oh geez, he's a threat.

498
00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:22,480
Speaker 1: Okay, so he's like any well.

499
00:23:22,519 --> 00:23:25,079
Speaker 4: Whatever, Yeah, they can be quite threatening.

500
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:25,400
Speaker 2: Yeah.

501
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:26,440
Speaker 4: Probably in that era.

502
00:23:26,319 --> 00:23:28,000
Speaker 1: Too, he might have been like twelve. It just said

503
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:30,799
he wasn't even a teenager. Okay, so he's not yet

504
00:23:30,799 --> 00:23:33,440
a teenager. I think nine is just a funny age

505
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:33,839
to say.

506
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:34,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, for sure.

507
00:23:35,079 --> 00:23:41,160
Speaker 1: So apparently Nero was not just worried about the fact

508
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:43,400
that he had was heir to the throne. He was

509
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:46,799
also this is a direct quote from an ancient historian,

510
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:50,200
he attempted to poison Britannicus as much out of envy

511
00:23:50,599 --> 00:23:54,200
because he had a sweeter voice as from apprehension of

512
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:56,440
what might ensue from the respect that people entertained for

513
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:57,319
his father's memory.

514
00:23:58,039 --> 00:24:01,519
Speaker 4: So he was also just he just really didn't he

515
00:24:01,559 --> 00:24:03,640
didn't like the cut of his jim.

516
00:24:03,799 --> 00:24:06,839
Speaker 1: I think he was jealous that people liked Britannicus. Sure,

517
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:08,160
Niro was a fucking weirdo.

518
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:13,640
Speaker 4: Sure adopted there always gonna be like, fuck the real kid, right.

519
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:16,559
Speaker 1: Nero was an ugo to a ginger an ugo and

520
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:19,720
neck beard oh yeah, and sadistic as fuck.

521
00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:23,519
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, clearly do you have all that going on

522
00:24:24,039 --> 00:24:24,720
in this time?

523
00:24:25,039 --> 00:24:28,640
Speaker 3: I imagine he showed signs in his teenage years as well.

524
00:24:28,799 --> 00:24:36,480
Speaker 1: This is allegedly what Nero looked like. Oh god.

525
00:24:37,039 --> 00:24:40,119
Speaker 3: Nero famously had parties where he would just have Christians

526
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:41,519
as human torches.

527
00:24:41,799 --> 00:24:46,799
Speaker 1: To like the room okay, slashes background music for a

528
00:24:46,799 --> 00:24:47,319
few minutes.

529
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:53,880
Speaker 4: This fucking eras bonkers. It's yeah, I'm starting to understand,

530
00:24:54,519 --> 00:24:57,480
it's starting to get it. It really is just like

531
00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:58,960
anything you can think of.

532
00:24:59,519 --> 00:25:03,319
Speaker 1: They oh, any fucking any weird.

533
00:25:03,039 --> 00:25:06,440
Speaker 4: Ass thing they did, Yeah, probably tried it out.

534
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:08,880
Speaker 1: It's it was just it was pure trial and Arabic.

535
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,000
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah for everyone.

536
00:25:10,759 --> 00:25:14,039
Speaker 1: Like you guys, we've been a civil like civilizations existed

537
00:25:14,039 --> 00:25:15,960
for like three thousand years. We don't know what we're doing.

538
00:25:16,039 --> 00:25:17,920
Speaker 4: Let's like figure some shit out, you know.

539
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:20,640
Speaker 3: Like morality is not a real thing at this point.

540
00:25:21,039 --> 00:25:23,880
Speaker 4: No, No, they're trying to find the line of like

541
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:28,000
reality and what we're gonna call what's right and wrong

542
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:31,160
right wrong, what we're gonna like all do and not do.

543
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:33,559
Speaker 1: And it's almost like, honestly the way you could do

544
00:25:33,599 --> 00:25:37,440
it on like a civilizational timeline. Yeah, as it's like

545
00:25:37,559 --> 00:25:40,119
raising children, right, Like you see like your ten year

546
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,440
old or your four year old do something and you're like,

547
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:45,079
what the fuck are you thinking?

548
00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:47,599
Speaker 4: Right, and you're like no, no, no, I don't even

549
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:50,240
know that could be in your mind. So I'm gonna

550
00:25:50,279 --> 00:25:51,519
now make that a rule.

551
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:52,000
Speaker 1: Right, right?

552
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:53,119
Speaker 3: Yes, So that was it.

553
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:56,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's how the that's like on the human scale,

554
00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:57,559
that's where these people are at.

555
00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:01,799
Speaker 4: They would walk into these rooms and be like oh no, no, no, no,

556
00:26:02,079 --> 00:26:03,079
we're not gonna do this.

557
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:06,119
Speaker 1: We shouldn't, Yeah, but they do it first and then

558
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:07,400
they're like, oh.

559
00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:11,759
Speaker 4: Boy, I mean a couple of us liked it. You're

560
00:26:11,839 --> 00:26:13,640
the weirdos go over there. Yeah.

561
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:19,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, So poison could not simply be poured onto britannicus

562
00:26:19,279 --> 00:26:21,599
food to drink because he also, of course had.

563
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,559
Speaker 4: A food oh even more so like that.

564
00:26:23,599 --> 00:26:25,799
Speaker 2: Also, wouldn't that be very obvious? Yeah?

565
00:26:25,839 --> 00:26:27,079
Speaker 1: And that's the other thing too, It's like if he

566
00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:30,000
gets poisoned, then again you gotta go start just killing

567
00:26:30,039 --> 00:26:34,319
anyone you suspect and stuff like that. So and you

568
00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:36,759
couldn't even if the poison was slow acting, so the

569
00:26:36,759 --> 00:26:38,920
food tester doesn't die right away. If the food tester

570
00:26:39,039 --> 00:26:41,880
and Britannic is die, then people are like it was

571
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:45,119
slow acting poison. That's the same result. Yeah right, Yeah,

572
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:49,480
we gotta go kill everyone we think was involved in this. Okay,

573
00:26:49,759 --> 00:26:57,200
So she tried lacusta to poison Britannicus once, really subtly, uh,

574
00:26:57,839 --> 00:27:01,799
And she opted for arsenic, but she used too small

575
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:05,759
a dose. She wanted to make it seem natural, not suspicious, sure,

576
00:27:05,839 --> 00:27:11,039
but she didn't dose him enough and Nero was fucking pissed.

577
00:27:12,039 --> 00:27:14,880
Now this is a guy completely sadistic, like we said,

578
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:17,920
lit Christians on fire for funzies. Yeah, yeah, kicked his

579
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,519
pregnant wife to death at one point.

580
00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:21,839
Speaker 4: We're going to put that in the no pile.

581
00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:22,920
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah yeah.

582
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,839
Speaker 3: They felt bad about it though, and renamed his boy

583
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:28,160
slave after Yeah he found boy.

584
00:27:28,319 --> 00:27:30,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, he found a boy that looked like.

585
00:27:30,279 --> 00:27:34,039
Speaker 4: Her and cut off his dick whoa whoa bud I

586
00:27:34,039 --> 00:27:36,079
mean okay.

587
00:27:35,839 --> 00:27:38,680
Speaker 1: Married him for the rest of his life, dressed him

588
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:41,759
up like just all on the street.

589
00:27:42,039 --> 00:27:42,839
Speaker 4: The nero did.

590
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:46,559
Speaker 3: Yeah, so a lunatic had a slight resemblance to his

591
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:48,119
ex wife that he killed.

592
00:27:48,839 --> 00:27:51,440
Speaker 2: Felt bad, so he you know.

593
00:27:51,559 --> 00:27:53,720
Speaker 4: Just he looks a little he took off this kids,

594
00:27:53,839 --> 00:27:57,240
we have some inbreeding proper back then. Yeah, he's got

595
00:27:57,279 --> 00:28:00,000
a an inbred forehead type.

596
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:03,480
Speaker 1: But sitch, I mean, if you he looks Appellation, there

597
00:28:03,519 --> 00:28:07,039
we go. Thank you, Yeah you say it, Okay, sorry

598
00:28:07,039 --> 00:28:10,519
to our Appellation listeners, but you know who you are.

599
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:11,559
Speaker 3: Yeah.

600
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:13,759
Speaker 4: The X Files did a really great job of.

601
00:28:13,839 --> 00:28:14,720
Speaker 1: The band episode.

602
00:28:14,799 --> 00:28:17,640
Speaker 3: Right, it's bold talk coming from the Ozarks over there.

603
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:22,000
Speaker 1: I'm not from the fucking Ozarks, same same state, are

604
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:22,880
you fucking kidding me?

605
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:24,200
Speaker 3: Yeah?

606
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:28,279
Speaker 4: The one where the Ladies under the Stairs. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

607
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:33,000
yeah great up. Didn't they like end pretty soon after that?

608
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:34,279
Speaker 1: I was right in the middle of the run.

609
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:37,319
Speaker 4: Really maybe I just stopped watching after that.

610
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:40,200
Speaker 1: I was like no, no, But it never aired on

611
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:43,640
TV again for like years because they were like, you

612
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:46,519
did what you wrote? What Fox was like, oh, I

613
00:28:46,519 --> 00:28:47,640
didn't check that script.

614
00:28:47,759 --> 00:28:52,240
Speaker 4: Bro, it's burned into bring it up all the time.

615
00:28:52,319 --> 00:28:54,759
Speaker 3: That's such good boys.

616
00:28:54,799 --> 00:28:57,119
Speaker 4: That's Nero. But that's nearro, do you know what I mean? Like,

617
00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:57,960
that's what I'm thinking.

618
00:28:58,079 --> 00:28:59,559
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're on, You're right on.

619
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:00,359
Speaker 4: Okay.

620
00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:06,559
Speaker 1: So Nero is furious and uh beats her, whips it

621
00:29:06,599 --> 00:29:09,000
flogs her, and it's like, if you don't get it

622
00:29:09,079 --> 00:29:12,480
right this time, I'm gonna fucking kill you.

623
00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:16,440
Speaker 4: You don't want to kill the like master poisoner.

624
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:18,119
Speaker 1: But going right, you would think that she'd be like, well,

625
00:29:18,119 --> 00:29:19,039
all right, I'm gonna poison.

626
00:29:19,079 --> 00:29:21,039
Speaker 3: Torturing the poisoner seems like a bad idea.

627
00:29:21,119 --> 00:29:24,799
Speaker 1: Yeah sure. So now Nero is like, fuck, caution, this

628
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:29,799
dude just needs to fucking die. So Lacosta's like, all right,

629
00:29:30,359 --> 00:29:33,839
I gotta I guess, I gotta uh you know, get it.

630
00:29:34,319 --> 00:29:34,920
Speaker 2: Get it right.

631
00:29:35,039 --> 00:29:38,880
Speaker 1: This time. So, uh, she starts testing poisons to get

632
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:43,400
it like exactly right and everything specifically on children. I

633
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:46,599
guess Nero just provided her with a gaggle of younglings

634
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:48,720
to uh.

635
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:50,240
Speaker 4: To test poison on.

636
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:52,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, just a bunch of little birds.

637
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:57,319
Speaker 1: Okay, so that was a thing that happened.

638
00:29:57,400 --> 00:29:57,680
Speaker 4: Cool.

639
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:02,440
Speaker 1: So we're at a party now, all right, and Britannicus

640
00:30:02,599 --> 00:30:07,480
is presented with a goblet of wine. Right, but obviously

641
00:30:07,519 --> 00:30:10,799
you can't just poison the wine because it'll be you know,

642
00:30:10,839 --> 00:30:14,200
someone will die, right, So what they do is they

643
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:17,640
heat up the wine a funck. It's hot as fuck, right.

644
00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:18,480
Speaker 2: So.

645
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 1: Britannicus obviously gives the wine to his food tester to

646
00:30:23,519 --> 00:30:25,519
test it, and he drinks it and he's like, oh god,

647
00:30:25,599 --> 00:30:28,559
that's fucking hot. It's not poisoned, but O Jesus Christ,

648
00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:33,839
that is hot, and uh, Britannicus is like, oh okay, cool, cool, cool,

649
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:35,440
and he gets some cool water to pour in the

650
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:37,960
wine to cool it down, and then drinks the wine.

651
00:30:38,599 --> 00:30:39,640
The water was poisoned.

652
00:30:39,799 --> 00:30:41,799
Speaker 4: Water was poisoned.

653
00:30:42,279 --> 00:30:46,480
Speaker 1: Because they knew little baby Britannicus, who is not a teenager,

654
00:30:47,319 --> 00:30:49,160
he's gonna need to cool down the wine for his

655
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:52,680
soft little boileps ans drink hot wine.

656
00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:59,599
Speaker 4: That that that plan is pretty bonkers and could have

657
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:04,680
many points in it. Could have like really drink cold

658
00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:09,200
water just like hot wine, like I'm having something else,

659
00:31:09,279 --> 00:31:14,079
I don't know, hot wine. We're gonna cool down hot wine.

660
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:16,799
Speaker 2: So it sounds like a bad time, yes, in general.

661
00:31:16,839 --> 00:31:21,920
Speaker 4: Yeah on wine in Rome? Please yeah, get a new gloss.

662
00:31:22,319 --> 00:31:24,119
Speaker 1: Someone else cool or like it's or he could have

663
00:31:24,119 --> 00:31:26,279
even been like, oh okay, it's cool. Well I'll wait

664
00:31:26,319 --> 00:31:27,079
for him to cool.

665
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:30,160
Speaker 4: Down any any number of things. She's already gotten beaten.

666
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:31,720
I don't know, this was a weird one. I'm just

667
00:31:31,759 --> 00:31:34,400
saying that's a real risk.

668
00:31:34,559 --> 00:31:37,480
Speaker 1: But he drinks, pours the poisoned water into the wine,

669
00:31:37,559 --> 00:31:40,279
drinks it falls to the ground, you know, like Geoffrey

670
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:44,519
Brathy and styling Game of Thrones like sure, and uh,

671
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:47,960
everyone's like, oh ship, what's happening? And Nero just pops

672
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:51,599
in and it's like it's cool, he's epileptic. Oh it's

673
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:55,680
cool taking to his bedroom. Silly britty god having another seizure.

674
00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:58,720
Speaker 4: It's fly annoying. Sorry everyone.

675
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:02,039
Speaker 1: Can you believe people want him to be emperors?

676
00:32:02,079 --> 00:32:04,920
Speaker 2: Seriously? Yeah?

677
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:09,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, so he goes dies in his room. Sure, Nero

678
00:32:09,839 --> 00:32:11,839
buries him the next day in a like in a

679
00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:13,920
raging storm, and it's just like, yeah, he's dead, dies

680
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:14,839
on a groutside, don't know.

681
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:17,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, we gotta do it though, you gotta be you know,

682
00:32:17,319 --> 00:32:18,000
you know how it is?

683
00:32:18,119 --> 00:32:20,400
Speaker 2: Okay he did? They make up a story like oh

684
00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:20,960
he ran away.

685
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:23,319
Speaker 1: Nope. They're just like, yeah, that Caeesar killed him.

686
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,680
Speaker 4: No, because I'm sure there was people with him, you know,

687
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:29,480
like he probably had to have these I'm imagining some servants,

688
00:32:30,079 --> 00:32:31,759
so he can't say like, oh he ran away. It's

689
00:32:31,799 --> 00:32:34,400
like there's witnesses at that point, right, right.

690
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:36,799
Speaker 1: There's only so many even servants you can kill before.

691
00:32:36,799 --> 00:32:37,680
People are just like.

692
00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:43,480
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah yeah, Like if they want something, then they're

693
00:32:43,519 --> 00:32:44,519
like wait a minute, are.

694
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:46,640
Speaker 1: There forty less servants than their work?

695
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:49,920
Speaker 4: Yeah? Because like I needed something the other day and

696
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,359
like no one was around. Don't get it for me now,

697
00:32:52,519 --> 00:32:52,960
I'm mad.

698
00:32:54,279 --> 00:32:56,559
Speaker 3: Faces are names that are gone. But they know that

699
00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:57,200
something's off.

700
00:32:57,480 --> 00:32:59,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, they know that they're not getting their stuffed you

701
00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:02,559
know what I mean. Yeah, So.

702
00:33:04,119 --> 00:33:08,920
Speaker 1: Boom, no more challengers to the throne. Nero is good

703
00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:13,319
to go, and he hooks a girl up oh, he

704
00:33:13,319 --> 00:33:18,480
gives her a He appoints her imperial poisoner, gives her

705
00:33:18,759 --> 00:33:23,240
a large estate, servants. She's a made woman.

706
00:33:23,759 --> 00:33:29,839
Speaker 4: Whoa red flags? WHOA why did that lady get so rich?

707
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:36,599
What did she do? Yeah, it's always when they're like,

708
00:33:36,599 --> 00:33:38,640
you know, they cash in the insurance check.

709
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:41,400
Speaker 3: And I'm think people were that smart back then.

710
00:33:41,839 --> 00:33:44,799
Speaker 1: Because even more sus is that he officially pardons her

711
00:33:44,839 --> 00:33:49,480
for all the poisonings she definitely did. Hmmm, So she

712
00:33:49,599 --> 00:33:52,599
immediately the poisoner immediately gets a pardon and is granted

713
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:56,599
a large estate and servants becomes a nobility for all

714
00:33:56,640 --> 00:34:00,960
intents and purposes. Yeah, and everyone's like, huh, all right,

715
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:06,680
that's interesting. I guess what are you going to do

716
00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:07,920
confront NERO?

717
00:34:08,679 --> 00:34:14,159
Speaker 4: Exactly right, he has a made poisoner like that will

718
00:34:14,159 --> 00:34:16,920
now do Yeah, so you don't. He's a scary dude

719
00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:17,920
at this point.

720
00:34:18,639 --> 00:34:19,320
Speaker 1: He'll do anything.

721
00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:21,920
Speaker 3: But don't the Roman troops just kind of like take

722
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:23,119
out embers all the time.

723
00:34:23,199 --> 00:34:25,920
Speaker 1: Not yet, Okay, this is not that area where the

724
00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:29,920
Praetorian Guard is just constantly like, but you're annoying.

725
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:33,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, we're still in trial and error territory.

726
00:34:33,679 --> 00:34:37,920
Speaker 1: So she spent some happy years living in her estate,

727
00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:42,920
poisoning people at the discretion of Nero, and Nero relied

728
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:47,960
heavily on poison to get get their job. I guess

729
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:52,360
at one point he poisoned his aunt to seize her estates.

730
00:34:53,679 --> 00:34:57,920
She was apparently extremely constipated, probably from poison, so she

731
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:00,719
was given something to constipation.

732
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:01,480
Speaker 4: Poison.

733
00:35:01,679 --> 00:35:06,119
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd rather have the no ship, dude, constipation going out.

734
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:07,320
Speaker 4: That's cruel.

735
00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:10,480
Speaker 1: Funny you say that. So it was a nice one

736
00:35:10,519 --> 00:35:14,719
to hunch. So they give her poison to constipate the

737
00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:17,559
fuck out of her, and then Nero shows up and

738
00:35:17,679 --> 00:35:21,400
is like and orders her to take a laxative to

739
00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:23,960
feel better. But it's a fatal dose of laxative, and then,

740
00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:28,079
after being constipated for some excruciating amount of time, ships

741
00:35:28,079 --> 00:35:31,159
herself to death. Yeah, rips and half yeah yeah, yeah,

742
00:35:31,199 --> 00:35:34,360
with the fatal laxative dose that Nero makes her take.

743
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:38,000
Speaker 2: Dude, he was just trying to be a good guy.

744
00:35:38,119 --> 00:35:41,760
Speaker 4: I abolicle, Dude, I guess I shouldn't.

745
00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:42,599
Speaker 2: Be trying to help my hand.

746
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:46,639
Speaker 4: Yeah, constipation, I was just normal, right, Like, how diabolical

747
00:35:46,679 --> 00:35:46,880
he is?

748
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:49,840
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, I would say, well, no, even for the time,

749
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:52,119
people were like this guy is fucked ita.

750
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:54,760
Speaker 4: Okay, we're starting to get like, h.

751
00:35:55,159 --> 00:35:58,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, like have some decency about it, right, Okay, Like

752
00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:02,760
it's the it's the different it's between like I don't know,

753
00:36:04,079 --> 00:36:08,599
jfk And and Bill Clinton maybe or something, right, you

754
00:36:08,639 --> 00:36:09,320
know what I mean.

755
00:36:09,199 --> 00:36:11,800
Speaker 4: Where you go like let's keep it a little bit

756
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,440
under rat right, and then we're like all right, no,

757
00:36:14,639 --> 00:36:15,360
we gotta stop.

758
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:17,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you were just out of control.

759
00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:19,119
Speaker 2: You did what with a cigar?

760
00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:19,599
Speaker 1: Yeah?

761
00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:23,119
Speaker 4: Yeah, like you're fucking a Nero like that.

762
00:36:23,599 --> 00:36:23,800
Speaker 1: You know.

763
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:26,079
Speaker 4: He was just trying stuff out late and move on.

764
00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:27,599
Speaker 1: Yeah.

765
00:36:27,639 --> 00:36:29,639
Speaker 4: I guess we don't think about that enough, right, Like

766
00:36:29,679 --> 00:36:34,320
how fucking weird he was with ship? Yeah, cigars in places.

767
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:37,320
Speaker 1: And then absolute just like second control it.

768
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:39,239
Speaker 4: Oh dude, he was you should be in charge of

769
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:40,280
no one insatiable.

770
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:45,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess so kills the zamp and LaCosta is

771
00:36:45,639 --> 00:36:48,519
still just crushing it. Just an imperial poisoner, you know,

772
00:36:48,639 --> 00:36:50,440
like living a good life, a life she could have

773
00:36:50,559 --> 00:36:56,480
never dreamed of, being a forest nymphant gall love it. Uh.

774
00:36:56,800 --> 00:37:01,159
And she decides, I guess that Nero's instruction to an extent.

775
00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:03,840
But she's like, I'm not gonna pull the ladder up.

776
00:37:04,159 --> 00:37:08,519
I'm gonna get back. She starts training other poisoners. She

777
00:37:08,559 --> 00:37:09,679
opens a poison school.

778
00:37:11,159 --> 00:37:12,599
Speaker 2: She was a madame of poison.

779
00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:15,440
Speaker 4: Yeah mmm mm hmmm.

780
00:37:16,239 --> 00:37:18,840
Speaker 3: Can't be sharing your secrets, oh willy nilly, Like.

781
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:24,360
Speaker 4: No, not with other ladies, because ladies, ladies.

782
00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:26,679
Speaker 1: But you know she can't be. She can only be

783
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:29,599
in one place at a time. Nero needs poison here, there,

784
00:37:29,599 --> 00:37:30,159
and everywhere.

785
00:37:30,239 --> 00:37:32,760
Speaker 4: She went some time off, she's seen the other side, right,

786
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:34,280
and she's like, I want to relat.

787
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:37,039
Speaker 1: I mean, when you're running a business, eventually you want

788
00:37:37,039 --> 00:37:39,400
to hire other people to do work that you don't

789
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:42,159
want to do. Right, that's all she's doing.

790
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:44,280
Speaker 4: She just feels like she's gotten to that point. I

791
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:44,679
get it.

792
00:37:45,199 --> 00:37:47,679
Speaker 1: So she opens the school and and she's, you know,

793
00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:51,440
just constantly working on recipes and shit like that. Nero,

794
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:55,079
being the gracious boss that he is, good boss, uh,

795
00:37:55,119 --> 00:37:58,840
sends her slaves and convicted criminals to test her poisons on.

796
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:01,039
You know, She's like, I need a few people like

797
00:38:01,599 --> 00:38:02,880
theory can only get you so far.

798
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:05,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, right, you've gotta I like.

799
00:38:05,199 --> 00:38:07,639
Speaker 4: The convicted criminal. The kids one was rough.

800
00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:09,000
Speaker 1: Yeah that's a little but.

801
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:13,199
Speaker 4: Yes, then the fucking right. You know, just normal dudes,

802
00:38:13,199 --> 00:38:15,719
I guess in this era are like nightmares.

803
00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:18,280
Speaker 1: It's like the still bread and you're poor, you're gonna

804
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:19,280
go to this lady's estate.

805
00:38:19,519 --> 00:38:22,719
Speaker 4: Yeah exactly. It's not actual criminals, it's the people that

806
00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:24,280
are just like I just wanted to eat.

807
00:38:24,519 --> 00:38:27,920
Speaker 1: Really, you're gonna get one final meal life in prison.

808
00:38:28,159 --> 00:38:28,880
Speaker 4: Yeah.

809
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:34,559
Speaker 1: So she's loving life, she's crushing it. She's Nero's girl,

810
00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:39,440
you know what I mean. Sure, but unfortunately she's Nero's girl.

811
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:43,480
Nero goes down.

812
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:47,440
Speaker 3: Oh I was gonna say, narrow short shelf life to

813
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:48,000
be his girl.

814
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:51,599
Speaker 1: No, he never turns on her. He never turns on her.

815
00:38:51,639 --> 00:38:55,880
She's too valuable, too useful. But everyone else turns on Nero.

816
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:59,920
Oh no, yeah, because they're like, fu, I can't fuck

817
00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:03,719
take this guy anymore. He is a psycho. He's rough

818
00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:04,360
to look at me.

819
00:39:04,519 --> 00:39:06,159
Speaker 4: Yeah exactly. That was the main thing.

820
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:09,519
Speaker 1: He keeps making me call that boy his wife's name.

821
00:39:09,599 --> 00:39:12,159
It is not his wife. I know what he did

822
00:39:12,159 --> 00:39:12,840
do his wife.

823
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:15,159
Speaker 4: That's all happening in this time.

824
00:39:15,079 --> 00:39:20,800
Speaker 1: Same time period. So in sixty eight a d the

825
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:28,320
citizens revolt against Nero, The Senate condemns him and Nero

826
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:33,480
is like, well I'm fucked and runs out of Rome,

827
00:39:33,679 --> 00:39:40,280
pieces the fuck out of Rome and kills himself. Okay,

828
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:42,599
because he's I mean, he's like, there's nothing, it's over,

829
00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:43,920
Like I'm not.

830
00:39:44,199 --> 00:39:47,119
Speaker 3: He does not get the end, and he deserves no, no,

831
00:39:47,119 --> 00:39:47,440
no no.

832
00:39:47,519 --> 00:39:51,920
Speaker 1: Some some say it was with a poison, that a

833
00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:58,119
special poison Lacusta gave him, you know, a break. Okay, yeah,

834
00:39:58,159 --> 00:40:00,760
because even he's like I'm doing and some stuff.

835
00:40:01,119 --> 00:40:05,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, this can only last so long, even in room.

836
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:10,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm really testing the limits. Yeah, and I'm gonna.

837
00:40:10,719 --> 00:40:12,840
Speaker 4: Keep doing it. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm

838
00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:15,760
not gonna stop, but like at this point, someone's gonna

839
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:16,400
stop me.

840
00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:18,800
Speaker 1: Someone's gonna get mad, I imagine.

841
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:19,639
Speaker 2: Yeah.

842
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:21,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what we talk about, like serial killers and

843
00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:24,639
people in this era where it's like you get to

844
00:40:24,679 --> 00:40:27,519
a point where you're just like all right, even like

845
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:31,679
normal just human brain kicks in and you go, this

846
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:34,199
is bad. Yeah, yeah, like I got it.

847
00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:37,679
Speaker 1: Should catch me at the point I'm the ripper. Do

848
00:40:37,679 --> 00:40:39,840
you know what I read about BTK the other day

849
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:41,800
that I didn't know and maybe you do know this.

850
00:40:42,159 --> 00:40:44,440
Speaker 4: I think I know a lot about him. He's my favorite,

851
00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:45,039
but go ahead.

852
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:49,480
Speaker 1: At one point he stopped murdering for a while, yeah,

853
00:40:49,519 --> 00:40:52,840
because he was running the HOA and he got just

854
00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:55,559
he got off just as hard from getting people for

855
00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:58,840
HOA violations yep as he did killing. Yeah.

856
00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:01,199
Speaker 4: For like what was it like ten seven years or

857
00:41:01,199 --> 00:41:03,079
something like, it was a long time. He was like,

858
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:07,480
you know, I think Cobscout Leader and HOA and he

859
00:41:07,639 --> 00:41:08,880
was just like, I've got shit.

860
00:41:09,079 --> 00:41:10,119
Speaker 2: They found his true colin.

861
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:13,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, like I I'm in charge of shit. And that's

862
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:16,440
like kind of all he wanted, which is why he's

863
00:41:16,559 --> 00:41:18,480
very He's an interesting.

864
00:41:18,039 --> 00:41:19,280
Speaker 1: One because he wanted in control.

865
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:22,119
Speaker 4: He just wanted to control. And if you if he

866
00:41:22,159 --> 00:41:23,719
was able, I don't know what happened with the HOA

867
00:41:24,199 --> 00:41:25,920
if he was able to like keep that.

868
00:41:26,039 --> 00:41:28,159
Speaker 1: Going, stay busy. It sounds like he was a bit

869
00:41:28,159 --> 00:41:30,679
of a nero on the HOA, right, just really yes,

870
00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:31,920
every tickie tack.

871
00:41:32,159 --> 00:41:37,159
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, he loved giving violations and driving around. I

872
00:41:37,199 --> 00:41:40,000
think what happened with if I remember right, with the

873
00:41:40,119 --> 00:41:43,119
HOA is that he started like driving around looking for violations,

874
00:41:43,159 --> 00:41:45,960
trash cans out whatever, and started to get that like

875
00:41:46,119 --> 00:41:49,400
itch when he would drive around and look for oh,

876
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:53,280
and found on his you know, hoa drive or whatever

877
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:57,639
those drives found like some new people, Yeah, some vulnerable

878
00:41:58,199 --> 00:42:02,599
mom and kids by themselves in a house. And did

879
00:42:02,639 --> 00:42:06,280
he get voted out of the HO Way. I don't know.

880
00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:07,639
Speaker 2: That's when he turned down.

881
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:10,920
Speaker 1: That's what I'm if these people are like, God, this

882
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:12,440
guy can't get any worse.

883
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:15,559
Speaker 4: Yeah, he must have been really bad though, if it

884
00:42:15,719 --> 00:42:21,000
was feeding the need to bound and torment torment people,

885
00:42:21,159 --> 00:42:22,880
so he must have been pretty bad.

886
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,800
Speaker 1: It's just like that makes sense to me that he

887
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:27,760
would the power thing. Yeah, that that would get him

888
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:30,719
off like enough. Just he's just like hiding in a

889
00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:33,360
bush watching someone like read the note on their door.

890
00:42:34,159 --> 00:42:39,280
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, and he loved it and like, but.

891
00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:42,840
Speaker 1: People, And honestly, you could say that the people who,

892
00:42:43,039 --> 00:42:46,000
let's just say, for the sake of argument, unelected him.

893
00:42:45,880 --> 00:42:48,320
Speaker 4: Off of the h O Way, right, are to blame.

894
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:49,639
Speaker 1: They have blood on their hands.

895
00:42:49,679 --> 00:42:53,199
Speaker 4: Yeah, you gotta let those kind of people like.

896
00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:57,480
Speaker 1: Keep the monster in. It's doesn't matter how much noise

897
00:42:57,519 --> 00:42:59,679
it's making, because if you think it's just gonna run

898
00:42:59,679 --> 00:43:00,719
off into the woods, you're wrong.

899
00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:01,079
Speaker 3: Yep.

900
00:43:02,559 --> 00:43:07,440
Speaker 1: So Nero, he's out. He kills himself. I don't know

901
00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:08,760
if it was with the poison or not, but he

902
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:12,480
did allegedly have the break glass in case of emergency,

903
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:13,880
a little gold box.

904
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:18,239
Speaker 4: Oh sweet, a little special gold box bunkers.

905
00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:24,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, his little emergency box. So Nero's immediate successor, Emperor Galba,

906
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:27,800
very quickly is like, well, we're cleaning.

907
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:34,199
Speaker 4: House anyone, Yeah, anyone that was in his pocket. Let's go.

908
00:43:35,679 --> 00:43:39,960
Speaker 1: All of these people are pieces of shit, just the worst.

909
00:43:40,559 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 3: Yeah.

910
00:43:41,079 --> 00:43:46,679
Speaker 1: So they're all dead during the swamp yeah, literally literally

911
00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:52,000
so the historian, Uh, so they're all arrested and sentenced

912
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:56,760
to death. The historian Cassius Dio rights Lacusta, the Sorceress

913
00:43:57,239 --> 00:44:01,440
and others of the scum of the earth or others

914
00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:03,920
of the scum that had come to surface in Nero's day.

915
00:44:04,280 --> 00:44:07,480
He Goalba ordered them to be lead and chained throughout

916
00:44:07,519 --> 00:44:11,599
the whole city and then be executed. So Goalba wants

917
00:44:11,639 --> 00:44:14,360
to clean house. By the way, whether or not you

918
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:17,119
were even a bad person in Nero's.

919
00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:19,159
Speaker 4: Orbit, yeah, because you can't take the time to like

920
00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:22,760
figure that out, right, and you just don't. He was

921
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:25,519
so diabolical that you're just like, I can't trust.

922
00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:27,440
Speaker 1: Right, everyone's got I go. So we've talked about this

923
00:44:27,519 --> 00:44:29,400
on the show before. I'm certain you don't know this

924
00:44:29,519 --> 00:44:32,559
because it's horrifying and takes place in ancient Rome. But

925
00:44:32,639 --> 00:44:35,079
his boy wife Nero's boy wife, for example.

926
00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:38,679
Speaker 4: I'm still wrapping my head around all that. But yeah, yeah,

927
00:44:38,719 --> 00:44:40,039
with the dick cut off and stuff.

928
00:44:40,199 --> 00:44:42,320
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, he means a pretty unifo.

929
00:44:43,599 --> 00:44:48,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, he was a unich Okay. So he was sentenced

930
00:44:48,679 --> 00:44:51,440
to be taken to not the Colisseum because that didn't

931
00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:54,400
exist yet, but to the arena, the pre the stadium

932
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:55,360
before the Colisseum.

933
00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:56,960
Speaker 2: Still getting games off, yeah.

934
00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:59,639
Speaker 1: Still get still playing games. He was ordered to be

935
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:04,679
uh raped to death by as many gladiators as could

936
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:10,199
get it before he just expired. But he was like

937
00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:13,159
he heard about that and was like nope and killed himself.

938
00:45:13,239 --> 00:45:13,519
Speaker 4: Bleep.

939
00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:14,119
Speaker 2: Yeah.

940
00:45:14,159 --> 00:45:19,119
Speaker 4: Yeah, like they all probably had a little breaking break.

941
00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:21,599
Speaker 3: Yeah, well you know, maybe I don't know.

942
00:45:21,559 --> 00:45:23,159
Speaker 1: You know who didn't.

943
00:45:24,039 --> 00:45:26,400
Speaker 2: Ironically, the poison Queen.

944
00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:31,639
Speaker 1: Did not have a break in case of emergency, but

945
00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:32,920
herself poison.

946
00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:35,400
Speaker 4: You know what's weird though, is she knows too much

947
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:38,119
about what it does to you. I don't know if

948
00:45:38,119 --> 00:45:41,280
she would want to, like if you know everything of

949
00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:44,719
like what it does and how you die and the right.

950
00:45:44,639 --> 00:45:48,039
Speaker 1: And the and it's not like the fast. These poisoning

951
00:45:48,079 --> 00:45:48,719
us are painful.

952
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:51,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, and she you don't know it, like even

953
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:54,840
like breaking like the Nero doesn't know right, so he's

954
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:59,119
just like and like slot like dies this horrible slow.

955
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:01,880
I mean it's Oregon breaking down death.

956
00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:04,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like the equivalent almost of like chucking bleach,

957
00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:08,440
where you're just like your insides are on fucking fire. Yes, yes,

958
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:11,800
so she doesn't do it, doesn't poys herself or maybe

959
00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:13,519
she didn't have time. Maybe she is caught or she's

960
00:46:13,559 --> 00:46:19,199
able to. I don't know now if you thought Nero's

961
00:46:19,519 --> 00:46:25,679
boy wife sentence was bad okay, Lacusta, I don't know

962
00:46:25,719 --> 00:46:29,480
if they thought she was like head bitch in charge

963
00:46:29,519 --> 00:46:32,960
of being awful in terms of being in Nero's cabinet, you.

964
00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:34,880
Speaker 4: Know what I mean, right, like she was telling him

965
00:46:34,960 --> 00:46:37,280
people to do it instead of just being told.

966
00:46:37,599 --> 00:46:42,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, but they really a first off foreigner, b second

967
00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:45,320
off poor sure, like yeah she was given a States

968
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:46,639
but that's new money trash.

969
00:46:46,719 --> 00:46:50,480
Speaker 4: They were always gossiping about her having that house, like

970
00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:52,079
we know how she has it.

971
00:46:52,239 --> 00:46:56,400
Speaker 1: She has killed at this point, you gotta think hundreds of.

972
00:46:56,400 --> 00:47:00,039
Speaker 4: People, yeah, family members, you know, yeah.

973
00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:02,360
Speaker 1: And just testing a lot. Yeah yeah, got a house

974
00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:04,360
at Toort. I mean, she's got hundreds of bodies.

975
00:47:04,519 --> 00:47:07,960
Speaker 4: And let us not forget she has a poison school, right,

976
00:47:08,079 --> 00:47:09,840
so that's pretty hardcore.

977
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:15,000
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, so they're like, this one is going

978
00:47:15,079 --> 00:47:22,599
to feel the pain. Oh no, so similar to Nero's

979
00:47:22,599 --> 00:47:27,960
boy wife, she gets a similar sentence. Okay, fuck to death. Sure,

980
00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:32,559
but not by gladiators. That's too nice.

981
00:47:33,159 --> 00:47:35,599
Speaker 2: Mm hmm, that's too high status.

982
00:47:36,599 --> 00:47:41,360
Speaker 4: They uh they plus they only like dudes. Yeah, but anyway, I.

983
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:43,639
Speaker 1: Don't I don't know how to put this delicately. Uh.

984
00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:46,559
They they brought in a giraffe.

985
00:47:47,119 --> 00:47:50,000
Speaker 4: What how's it doing?

986
00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:54,960
Speaker 3: How does the draft down?

987
00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:56,800
Speaker 4: What is it?

988
00:47:57,960 --> 00:47:59,239
Speaker 1: They found a way?

989
00:47:59,440 --> 00:48:05,719
Speaker 4: They really are like the deepest, darkest corners of porn. Yeah,

990
00:48:05,760 --> 00:48:09,079
I just imagine, just like you don't know how it's

991
00:48:09,079 --> 00:48:10,000
gonna work, but you're like.

992
00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:13,880
Speaker 3: A giraffe's gotta have just a hog on it.

993
00:48:14,159 --> 00:48:14,360
Speaker 1: Yeah.

994
00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:15,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, so that's what I was saying, like not a

995
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:17,800
I just thought you were going to say a whorse

996
00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:18,719
or something like this.

997
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:21,320
Speaker 3: But he's also so high off the ground.

998
00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:22,400
Speaker 2: I don't know how he gets.

999
00:48:22,559 --> 00:48:24,199
Speaker 1: I think they built something to her.

1000
00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:26,719
Speaker 4: So they built that's what I was thinking of stage

1001
00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:28,599
or built some kind of platform.

1002
00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:29,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, a hole.

1003
00:48:30,039 --> 00:48:32,800
Speaker 4: Right with the arms and the thing and cool.

1004
00:48:33,039 --> 00:48:36,159
Speaker 1: She was fucked to death by a giraffe in front

1005
00:48:36,159 --> 00:48:39,480
of a cheering crowd listen.

1006
00:48:39,519 --> 00:48:41,679
Speaker 2: There wasn't a ton of entertainment options back then.

1007
00:48:43,079 --> 00:48:45,000
Speaker 1: So yeah, people talk about We talked about on the

1008
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:47,719
show all the time about phones are ruining society, Like

1009
00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:50,719
you know what people entertain themselves with prior to phones

1010
00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:51,159
and TV?

1011
00:48:51,519 --> 00:48:53,599
Speaker 4: Yeah, give them a phone, do you know what I mean?

1012
00:48:53,639 --> 00:48:57,239
Give them something to like let out those types of

1013
00:48:57,320 --> 00:48:58,960
weird urges and.

1014
00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:00,840
Speaker 3: The wife going on a day night. Oh you want

1015
00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:02,559
to go see this lady get fucked to death by

1016
00:49:02,559 --> 00:49:03,119
a giraffe.

1017
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:06,920
Speaker 4: They heard that was happening today. Oh yeah, yeah, I

1018
00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:07,920
didn't know they were doing that.

1019
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:11,119
Speaker 1: I was in the forum and there was the announcer

1020
00:49:11,159 --> 00:49:13,280
guy was I just thought it was interesting. I've never

1021
00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:15,880
seen a giraffe before. I guess not an ideal way

1022
00:49:15,920 --> 00:49:17,920
to see a draft for the first time, but it's

1023
00:49:18,199 --> 00:49:19,760
when else are we going to see a giraffe? Yeah?

1024
00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:21,199
Speaker 3: Yes, that's an alien right.

1025
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:24,079
Speaker 1: Yeah right, Most people are like, what the fuck is that?

1026
00:49:24,239 --> 00:49:25,119
Speaker 3: I don't know what it is.

1027
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:28,079
Speaker 1: There was another so, like two hundred years prior to this,

1028
00:49:28,119 --> 00:49:32,199
when when the Carthaginians invaded Rome, the Carthaginians had elephants, right,

1029
00:49:33,079 --> 00:49:37,199
and you know, we're we are very twenty first twentieth

1030
00:49:37,199 --> 00:49:39,039
century brain where it's like, oh you oh no, I've

1031
00:49:39,079 --> 00:49:41,559
seen not one hundred times at the zoo or whatever. Yeah, Dophan,

1032
00:49:41,599 --> 00:49:44,400
sure I've seen pictures of that's not it doesn't exist

1033
00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:47,000
for these people, giraffes, elephants. It might as well be

1034
00:49:47,199 --> 00:49:51,519
another planetrue. So when the Carthaginians came to the battlefield

1035
00:49:51,519 --> 00:49:54,119
with elephants, a bunch of people were just like nope.

1036
00:49:54,880 --> 00:49:58,039
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, they're like this is alien invasion. Basically they

1037
00:49:58,039 --> 00:50:00,239
didn't even know what that meant. Yeah, but there's like, no,

1038
00:50:00,599 --> 00:50:03,079
I don't know what this is. My mind is exploded.

1039
00:50:03,119 --> 00:50:05,599
Speaker 2: I'm not talking with it. Yeah, are the.

1040
00:50:05,519 --> 00:50:07,480
Speaker 1: Equivalent we like to say, It's like, just imagine if

1041
00:50:07,519 --> 00:50:09,519
like a bunch of like mirror people came out of

1042
00:50:09,519 --> 00:50:11,159
the ocean riding and squids.

1043
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:14,960
Speaker 4: They're just like yeah, and it becomes tolely common later,

1044
00:50:15,159 --> 00:50:19,239
but at that time you're like, no, no, this doesn't

1045
00:50:19,400 --> 00:50:22,320
compute not doing it. How big is the giraffe?

1046
00:50:23,199 --> 00:50:25,039
Speaker 1: Yeah? Sure, do you know what I mean?

1047
00:50:25,079 --> 00:50:29,119
Speaker 4: Like, is it are we? Did they pick giraffe because

1048
00:50:30,119 --> 00:50:33,280
way bigger than a horse, which they had.

1049
00:50:33,400 --> 00:50:36,119
Speaker 1: Lots of, Right, they have plenty of horses, plenty.

1050
00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:39,760
Speaker 4: Of horses that would work.

1051
00:50:40,039 --> 00:50:43,360
Speaker 1: Huh, but actually thinking a horse might be worse, to

1052
00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:49,039
be honest, based on what I'm seeing, I can't really

1053
00:50:49,039 --> 00:50:51,679
get a good feel for size on this, but okay,

1054
00:50:52,559 --> 00:50:54,159
still unpleasant, i'd imagine.

1055
00:50:54,280 --> 00:50:58,800
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, yeah, I think longer probably.

1056
00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:03,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're really making through some stuff. Yeah, yeah, So

1057
00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:09,440
that is how lacusta imperial poisoner to Nero, one of

1058
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:13,519
the most prominent singular killers in ancient history, who wasn't

1059
00:51:13,559 --> 00:51:18,079
like a warlorder whatever, right in terms of normies, Yeah,

1060
00:51:18,159 --> 00:51:23,199
one of the most prominent killers in ancient history meets

1061
00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:26,760
her endow via giraffe.

1062
00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:31,719
Speaker 3: She met a way worse end than fucking Nero. Yeah,

1063
00:51:31,760 --> 00:51:32,639
she had split in half.

1064
00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:36,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, no pharisees. But of course it's always the ladies,

1065
00:51:36,880 --> 00:51:39,519
always the ladies that are gonna take all of the

1066
00:51:39,559 --> 00:51:44,440
heat for this crazy dude. Short amount of time. He

1067
00:51:44,480 --> 00:51:45,880
got a lot of stuff done. Huh.

1068
00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:48,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, it's about packed and.

1069
00:51:48,840 --> 00:51:50,360
Speaker 4: He packed in a lot of stuff.

1070
00:51:50,639 --> 00:51:54,239
Speaker 1: A punch got it done. Yeah, he came in, did

1071
00:51:54,280 --> 00:51:56,199
what he promised. Only insane shit.

1072
00:51:58,159 --> 00:52:01,000
Speaker 4: Listen, I love it.

1073
00:52:01,079 --> 00:52:01,239
Speaker 1: Now.

1074
00:52:01,239 --> 00:52:03,320
Speaker 3: This is a tale of why you should not have

1075
00:52:03,400 --> 00:52:07,639
ambition or goals, because if she just stayed her poor

1076
00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:11,320
peasant life in the forest, she doesn't get violated by

1077
00:52:11,519 --> 00:52:12,320
a zoo animal.

1078
00:52:13,280 --> 00:52:15,280
Speaker 4: No, but you would probably die of diarrhea.

1079
00:52:15,559 --> 00:52:18,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean if she keeps living in the

1080
00:52:18,960 --> 00:52:20,360
woods and Gaul's.

1081
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:22,199
Speaker 2: Yeah, that seems more pleasant.

1082
00:52:22,239 --> 00:52:25,079
Speaker 1: But here's the thing. She got to live for a time, Yes,

1083
00:52:25,440 --> 00:52:28,280
the best possible life she could have ever lived.

1084
00:52:28,840 --> 00:52:30,920
Speaker 3: Do you think she chooses it though? If she knows

1085
00:52:30,920 --> 00:52:33,320
her ending, let.

1086
00:52:33,159 --> 00:52:37,320
Speaker 4: Me ask, you're able to ten years? Okay, you get

1087
00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:42,000
a mansion. Okay, Bob, yep, you get a mansion. I

1088
00:52:42,039 --> 00:52:44,159
don't know where you would want to live, Malibu, up

1089
00:52:44,159 --> 00:52:45,039
on the hillside.

1090
00:52:44,679 --> 00:52:47,800
Speaker 3: Don't know all your servants.

1091
00:52:47,280 --> 00:52:52,079
Speaker 4: Right, But at the end of the ten years, Bob, it's.

1092
00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:55,840
Speaker 1: A real deal with the devil. I mean, for me

1093
00:52:56,559 --> 00:52:59,119
having grown up like middle class, that's not up. But

1094
00:52:59,119 --> 00:53:02,119
if I grew up the dirt like this, did, I

1095
00:53:02,119 --> 00:53:05,440
mean not? Even poverty doesn't begin to like she's faral

1096
00:53:05,559 --> 00:53:08,079
almost you know what I mean, right, like like you

1097
00:53:08,079 --> 00:53:13,960
think of yeah, yeah, so yeah, probably I might take

1098
00:53:13,960 --> 00:53:14,719
that deal.

1099
00:53:14,960 --> 00:53:18,880
Speaker 4: Yeah for her, Yeah yeah, I think she did essentially.

1100
00:53:19,039 --> 00:53:20,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what.

1101
00:53:20,480 --> 00:53:24,480
Speaker 4: You know, even Nero while he was doing all this shit,

1102
00:53:24,639 --> 00:53:28,519
was like, something's gonna fucking happen, right, you know, you

1103
00:53:28,599 --> 00:53:32,400
know what you're what deal you're making if you go

1104
00:53:32,599 --> 00:53:33,920
that high up in status.

1105
00:53:34,679 --> 00:53:36,519
Speaker 1: But that's the only guy offering the job.

1106
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:39,119
Speaker 4: It's true. And also she didn't have by the way,

1107
00:53:39,159 --> 00:53:41,519
she didn't have a choice. It's like he's beating her

1108
00:53:41,599 --> 00:53:45,199
up if she's not doing it right, So it's kind

1109
00:53:45,239 --> 00:53:46,199
of you know.

1110
00:53:46,320 --> 00:53:50,039
Speaker 3: Yeah, Nara probably comes up with something even more sadistic somehow.

1111
00:53:50,400 --> 00:53:53,840
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, it's and because he did threaten to execute

1112
00:53:53,880 --> 00:53:55,960
her too, Yeah, pull off and god knows what he's

1113
00:53:55,960 --> 00:53:56,639
going to do to her.

1114
00:53:57,679 --> 00:54:00,960
Speaker 4: Yeah. It wasn't like she was loving it.

1115
00:54:01,159 --> 00:54:04,119
Speaker 1: She really bought herself time it really it was always

1116
00:54:04,119 --> 00:54:05,440
going to end with a giraffe.

1117
00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:07,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, it always does.

1118
00:54:07,440 --> 00:54:09,679
Speaker 1: The path, Yes, no matter which path.

1119
00:54:09,480 --> 00:54:13,000
Speaker 3: You take, they all converge back to It's not turtles

1120
00:54:13,039 --> 00:54:14,760
all the way down as giraffe. Yeah.

1121
00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:20,039
Speaker 1: Yeah, so yeah, that is the story of Lacusta of Gaul.

1122
00:54:21,159 --> 00:54:24,400
What'd you learn today, Jesse? Well, too much?

1123
00:54:24,880 --> 00:54:27,320
Speaker 4: Too much. I learned too much. I was starting to

1124
00:54:27,440 --> 00:54:29,159
if you if you remember, in the beginning, I was

1125
00:54:29,199 --> 00:54:31,039
starting to be like, all right, guys, I get it,

1126
00:54:31,119 --> 00:54:34,840
you know, like the the obsession with the Roman Empire,

1127
00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:38,960
Like I get it. And now I'm even more confused. Right,

1128
00:54:40,199 --> 00:54:42,119
but then also understand.

1129
00:54:42,400 --> 00:54:45,119
Speaker 1: Again these are like civilization. Is that it's like nine

1130
00:54:45,159 --> 00:54:46,480
to eleven year old stage.

1131
00:54:46,840 --> 00:54:53,039
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah. And also you know, put a lady in

1132
00:54:53,199 --> 00:54:57,719
charge like that, Yeah, something's gonna happens. They're not gonna

1133
00:54:57,800 --> 00:55:00,400
let her go all the way to the top and

1134
00:55:00,440 --> 00:55:01,599
live a comfy line.

1135
00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:03,480
Speaker 1: And by the way, so I didn't even mention this

1136
00:55:03,519 --> 00:55:06,519
Agrippina the younger who murdered Claudius to get Nero on

1137
00:55:06,559 --> 00:55:10,719
the throne. Yeah, mom eventually gets killed by Nero. Yeah,

1138
00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:14,719
so he doesn't even hook her back up.

1139
00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:17,320
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah, he's real cool.

1140
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:20,199
Speaker 1: Yeah. And actually I didn't press in the story, but

1141
00:55:20,199 --> 00:55:22,760
maybe you'll appreciate this as a mother. When he sent

1142
00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:25,800
the soldiers or whatever to kill her or assassins, I

1143
00:55:25,840 --> 00:55:28,800
don't know what it was. She they come in and

1144
00:55:28,840 --> 00:55:30,559
she knows what's up and she got and she knows

1145
00:55:30,559 --> 00:55:33,719
who sent them, so she goes. Essentially, she was like,

1146
00:55:34,719 --> 00:55:36,199
you might as well stab me in my womb.

1147
00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:42,559
Speaker 4: She's badass. Yeah, she started the whole thing. Yeah, so

1148
00:55:42,599 --> 00:55:46,119
she's just like, well, of course, that little son of

1149
00:55:46,159 --> 00:55:46,800
a bitch.

1150
00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:50,480
Speaker 1: Got it from mom. Learned it from you, mom? Sorry, Mom,

1151
00:55:50,760 --> 00:55:51,880
would you learn to day Daniel?

1152
00:55:52,320 --> 00:55:56,400
Speaker 3: I just learned that this girl probably took the right

1153
00:55:56,519 --> 00:56:03,159
deal because she bought herself an additional ten eleven years.

1154
00:56:03,880 --> 00:56:06,559
Speaker 1: At least, at least of the good life.

1155
00:56:06,679 --> 00:56:09,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, because yeah, she's meeting her end in a horrific

1156
00:56:09,360 --> 00:56:10,760
fashion regardless.

1157
00:56:11,159 --> 00:56:13,199
Speaker 1: Right, somebody as well kick that can down the road,

1158
00:56:13,280 --> 00:56:14,280
So live the high life.

1159
00:56:14,440 --> 00:56:17,840
Speaker 3: And yeah, if that giraffe stare me down in ten years,

1160
00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:19,599
so be it, so be it.

1161
00:56:20,719 --> 00:56:22,480
Speaker 1: And then who is today's hitler?

1162
00:56:23,599 --> 00:56:26,480
Speaker 4: The dude that drank that hot wine and was like,

1163
00:56:27,039 --> 00:56:30,760
let's add some water to it. That's psychotics.

1164
00:56:30,840 --> 00:56:33,320
Speaker 3: This is totally normal hot wine psychotic.

1165
00:56:33,480 --> 00:56:36,159
Speaker 4: He had to be in on something, because no one

1166
00:56:36,239 --> 00:56:40,400
is like, this wine is boiling hot. Don't worry, child,

1167
00:56:40,840 --> 00:56:44,880
I will add some water to it, right, the water

1168
00:56:44,920 --> 00:56:46,039
that's sitting right next to it.

1169
00:56:46,119 --> 00:56:49,920
Speaker 1: Weird, no one understanding that that was weird.

1170
00:56:50,639 --> 00:56:53,239
Speaker 4: Is something's up with that? Yeah, he may have been

1171
00:56:53,320 --> 00:56:55,480
leading the whole fucking organizations, you know what, I mean

1172
00:56:55,519 --> 00:56:58,559
to fuck to let that plan go to the end,

1173
00:56:59,320 --> 00:57:00,960
it had to have other people, and they.

1174
00:57:00,920 --> 00:57:02,760
Speaker 1: Didn't drink the water too, like, oh hold on, let

1175
00:57:02,760 --> 00:57:03,400
me test the water.

1176
00:57:04,760 --> 00:57:08,760
Speaker 3: Right, we're also under selling how about this life?

1177
00:57:08,800 --> 00:57:10,079
Speaker 1: She was Lacusta.

1178
00:57:10,239 --> 00:57:13,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, she got into this of her own, Yeah.

1179
00:57:14,360 --> 00:57:16,639
Speaker 4: Of her own accord, and then we kind of think

1180
00:57:16,679 --> 00:57:19,599
of her as you know, nero do it. But like

1181
00:57:20,119 --> 00:57:22,679
poison school, you're making a bunch of little bit assassin.

1182
00:57:22,760 --> 00:57:23,920
Speaker 2: How many kids did she kill?

1183
00:57:24,079 --> 00:57:27,079
Speaker 1: You've just on the way up, Yeah yeah, yeah.

1184
00:57:26,599 --> 00:57:29,199
Speaker 4: You've drank the poison, so to speak at that point.

1185
00:57:29,280 --> 00:57:34,039
Speaker 1: Yeah, right, Yeah, who's your hitler today? Her? Her LaCosta? Yeah,

1186
00:57:34,039 --> 00:57:35,960
I mean she killed a lot of kids and also

1187
00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:39,119
a lot of probably semi innocent people, you innocent people,

1188
00:57:39,159 --> 00:57:40,679
depending on I.

1189
00:57:40,599 --> 00:57:43,559
Speaker 3: Mean when in dus just blame the woman, Yeah, don't.

1190
00:57:43,360 --> 00:57:45,840
Speaker 4: You guys always yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1191
00:57:45,679 --> 00:57:46,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just easy.

1192
00:57:46,960 --> 00:57:50,599
Speaker 4: No one asked questions, right, they go like, yep, knew it.

1193
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:51,880
Speaker 1: Yeah makes sense.

1194
00:57:51,920 --> 00:57:52,599
Speaker 2: It's a layup.

1195
00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:56,880
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well that's all I got for today. On Lacusta

1196
00:57:56,920 --> 00:57:59,360
of Gaul. Jesse, thank you so much for joining us.

1197
00:57:59,480 --> 00:58:03,679
Speaker 4: Of course, I always learned so many fun things on

1198
00:58:03,800 --> 00:58:07,760
this show. Was it last time burning animals being lit

1199
00:58:07,800 --> 00:58:08,519
on fire? Yeah?

1200
00:58:08,559 --> 00:58:09,480
Speaker 3: A lot of animals.

1201
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:12,159
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, the animals got their revenge.

1202
00:58:12,320 --> 00:58:14,000
Speaker 4: The animals had a good time.

1203
00:58:14,519 --> 00:58:16,480
Speaker 1: Right, unambiguously right.

1204
00:58:16,840 --> 00:58:17,800
Speaker 4: They liked it.

1205
00:58:17,880 --> 00:58:19,559
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I'm sure with all the cheering scared

1206
00:58:19,559 --> 00:58:20,159
the draft.

1207
00:58:19,920 --> 00:58:22,440
Speaker 4: A little bit, but sure, but I had a job

1208
00:58:22,480 --> 00:58:22,719
to do.

1209
00:58:22,920 --> 00:58:28,280
Speaker 1: Yeah it did, g idiot, but yeah for Jesse Wiseman,

1210
00:58:28,360 --> 00:58:29,480
go listen to Crime Corner.

1211
00:58:29,639 --> 00:58:30,000
Speaker 4: Thank you.

1212
00:58:30,239 --> 00:58:30,880
Speaker 1: Wherever we were.

1213
00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:34,039
Speaker 3: Podcasts are found check out our Patreon picton dot com

1214
00:58:34,039 --> 00:58:35,079
sas Softcore History.

1215
00:58:35,119 --> 00:58:37,400
Speaker 2: Two additional episodes every Wednesday and Friday.

1216
00:58:37,559 --> 00:58:39,840
Speaker 1: And we got a hot sketch coming in with Jesse,

1217
00:58:40,599 --> 00:58:44,440
with Jack Mandeville, with Dan, with a bunch of people,

1218
00:58:45,039 --> 00:58:48,320
my wife, everybody's in it. Had to pull the whole

1219
00:58:48,320 --> 00:58:49,079
bench for this one.

1220
00:58:49,320 --> 00:58:49,840
Speaker 3: I love it.

1221
00:58:49,960 --> 00:58:52,239
Speaker 4: This is gonna be a big one. Yeah, it sounds

1222
00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:52,800
from what I.

1223
00:58:52,800 --> 00:58:56,400
Speaker 3: Hear fift I like it.

1224
00:58:57,079 --> 00:58:59,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like an audiobook but a short story instead

1225
00:59:00,079 --> 00:59:02,400
with the graphic sex scene in it. Sure, so yeah

1226
00:59:02,599 --> 00:59:06,159
check it out. But for Dan Rojester and Jesse Wiseman.

1227
00:59:06,559 --> 00:59:07,360
I'm Rob Fox.

1228
00:59:07,440 --> 00:59:08,440
Speaker 2: You just guts all served