Speaker 1: Chapter two of Winnie the Pooh by A. A. Milney.
This livery vox recording is in the public domain. Chapter two,
in which Pooh goes visiting and gets into a tight place.
Edward Baar, known to his friends as Winnie the Pooh
or Pooh for short, was walking through the forest one day,
humming proudly to himself. He had made up a little
hum that very morning as he was doing his stoutness
exercises in front of the glass, to a law law,
to a law law as he stretched up as high
as he could go, and then to a la law trawl,
Oh help law as he tried to reach his toes
after breakfast. He had said it over and over to
himself until he had learnt it off by heart, and
now he was humming it right through properly went like this.
Tra la la tra la la, tra la la tra
la lah rum tom tiddle um tum little ill ttle
ill title little tittle ill rum tum tittle um. Well,
he was humming this hum to himself and walking along gaily,
wondering what everybody else was doing and what it felt
like being somebody else, When suddenly he came to a
sandy bank and in the bank was a large hole. Ah,
said Pooh. Rum tum tidle um tum. If I know
anything about anything, that ho means rabbit, he said, And
rabbit means company, he said, And company means food and
listening to me, humming and such like rum tom tittle um.
So he bent down, put his head into the hole
and called out, is anybody at home? There was a
sudden scuffling noise from inside the hole, and then silence.
What I said was is anybody at home? Called out
Pooh very loudly. No, said a voice, and then added,
you needn't shout so loud. I heard you quite well
the first time. Bother said, Pooh, isn't there anybody here
at all? Nobody? Winnie the Pooh took his head out
of the hole and thought for a little, and he
thought to himself there must be somebody there, because somebody
must have said nobody. So he put his head back
in the hole and said, hello, rabbit. Isn't that you? No,
said rabbit in a different sort of voice this time.
But isn't that rabbit's voice? I don't think so, said rabbit.
It isn't meant to be oh, said Pooh. He took
his head out of the hole and had another link,
and then he put it back and said, well, could
you very calmly tell me where Rabbit is. He has
gone to see his friend poo Bear, who is a
great friend of his. But this is me, said bear,
very much surprised. What sort of me, Pooh Bear? Are
you sure, said rabbit, still more surprised. Quite quite sure.
Oh well, then come in. So Pooh pushed and pushed
and pushed his way through the hole, and at last
he got in. You were quite right, said rabbit, looking
at him all over. It is you glad to see you.
Who did you think it was? Well, I wasn't sure.
You know how it is in the forest. One can't
have anybody coming into one's house. One has to be careful.
What about a mouthful of something? Who always liked a
little something at eleven o'clock in the morning, and he
was very glad to see Rabbit getting out the plates
and mugs. And when Rabbit said, honey, are condensed milk
with your bread, he was so excited that he said both.
And then so it's not to seem greedy, he added,
Oh boy, don't bother about the bread, please, and for
a long time after that he said nothing, until at last,
humming to himself in a rather sticky voice, he got up,
took Rabbit lovingly by the paw, and said that he
must be going on? Must you? Said rabbit pointedly? Well,
said Pooh, I could stay a little longer if it,
if you, and he tried very hard to look in
the direction of the larder. As a matter of fact,
said Rabbit, I was going out myself directly. Oh, well,
then I'll be going on. Goodbye, Well, goodbye, if you're
sure you won't have any more? Is there any more?
Asked Pooh. Quickly, Rabbit took the covers off the dishes
and said, no, there wasn't I thought not, said Pooh,
nodding to himself. Well, goodbye, I must be going on.
So he started to climb out of the hole. He
pulled with his front paws and pushed with his back paws,
and in a little while his nose was out in
the open again, and then his ears, and then his
front paws, and then his shoulders, and then oh help,
said Pooh, I'd better go back. Oh bother, said Pooh,
I shall have to go on. I can't do either.
Said Pooh, Oh, help and bother. Now by this time,
Rabbit wanted to go for a walk too, and, finding
the front door full, he went out by his back
door and came round to Pooh and looked at him. Hello,
Are you stuck, he asked, No, said Pooh, carelessly, just
resting and thinking and humming to myself. Here, give us
a paw. Pooh Bear stretched out a paw, and Rabbit
pulled and pulled and pulled. Oh Oh, cried Pooh, you're hurting.
The fact is, said Rabbit, you're stuck. It all comes,
said Pooh, crossly, of not having front doors big enough.
It all comes, said Rabbit, sternly, of eating too much.
I thought at the time, said rabbit. Only I didn't
like to say anything, said Rabbit. That one of us
was eating too much, said Rabbit, and I knew it
wasn't to me. He said, well, well, I shall go
and fetch Christopher Robin. Christopher Robin lived at the other
end of the forest. And when he came back with
a rabbit and saw the front half of Pooh, he said,
silly old bear in such a loving voice that everyone
felt quite hopeful. Again. I was just beginning to think
said bear, sniffling slightly. That Rabbit might never be able
to use his front door again, and I should hate that,
he said, so should I said, Rabbit use his front
door again, said Christopher Robin. Of course he'll use this
front door again, good, said rabbit. If we can't pull
you out, Pooh, we might push you back. Rabbit scratched
his whiskers thoughtfully and pointed out that when what's Pooh
was pushed back, he was back, and of course nobody
was more glad to see Poo than he was still there.
It was some lived in trees and some lived under ground.
And you mean I'd never get out, said Pooh. I mean,
said Rabbit that, having got so far, it seems a
pity to waste it. Christopher Robin nodded. Then there's only
one thing to be done, he said. We shall have
to wait for you to get thin again. How long
does getting thin take, asked Pooh anxiously, About a week,
I should think, But I can't stay here for a week.
You can stay here, all right, silly old bear. It's
getting you out, which is so difficult. We'll read to you,
said Rabbit cheerfully. And I hope it won't snow, he added,
and I say, oh, fellow, you're taking up a good
deal of room in my house. Do you mind if
I use your back legs as a towel horse, because
I mean, there they are doing nothing, and it would
be very convenient just to hang the towels on them.
A week, said Pooh gloomily. What about meals? I'm afraid
no meals, said Christopher Robin, because of getting thin quicker.
But we will read to you. Bear began to sigh,
and then found he couldn't because he was so tightly stuck,
and a tear rolled down his eye as he said,
then would you read a sustaining book such as would help?
And conquered a wedged bear in great tightness. So for
a week Christopher Robin read that sort of book at
the north end of Pooh and Rabbit hung his washing
on the south end, and in between Bear felt himself
getting slenderer and slenderer, And at the end of the week,
Christopher Robin said, now, so he took hold of Pooh's
front paws, and Rabbit took hold of Christopher Robin, and
all Rabbit's friends and relations took hold of Rabbit, and
they all pulled together, and for a long time Pooh
only said oh and oh, And then all of a
sudden he said pop, just as if a cark were
coming out of a bottle, And Christopher Robin and rabbits
and all the rabbit's friends and relations went head over
heels backwards, and on the top of them came Winnie
the Pooh free. And so with a nod of thanks
to his friends, he went on with his walk through
the forest, humming proudly to himself. But Christopher Robin looked
after him lovingly and said to himself, silly, old bear.
End of Chapter two.