WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:03.200 My next guest understands doing the radio thing first. Because 2 00:00:03.200 --> 00:00:06.599 Wendy Korea, she's a writer, a yogi. She's worked in 3 00:00:06.639 --> 00:00:10.240 film and television, multimedia and music and as a radio 4 00:00:10.320 --> 00:00:12.679 DJ in Aspen and now lives here in Denver. And 5 00:00:12.679 --> 00:00:17.000 she's written a memoir. I usually don't read memoirs. I 6 00:00:17.039 --> 00:00:19.519 don't know why, I just don't. But I got this 7 00:00:19.839 --> 00:00:22.000 and I got the pitch, and I said, ooh, a 8 00:00:22.000 --> 00:00:24.679 fellow radio traveler, I would love to talk about it 9 00:00:24.920 --> 00:00:27.920 and her new memoir, My Pretty Baby, is fantastic. 10 00:00:27.920 --> 00:00:29.600 And Wendy Korea, welcome to the show. 11 00:00:32.399 --> 00:00:35.240 Thank you, Mandy. It is awesome to be here. I'm 12 00:00:35.320 --> 00:00:37.200 so excited to talk with you today. 13 00:00:37.359 --> 00:00:39.240 So I always like to ask a question like this, 14 00:00:39.359 --> 00:00:40.799 when what made you decide? 15 00:00:40.840 --> 00:00:42.240 You know what? I got a story to tell. I'm 16 00:00:42.359 --> 00:00:42.920 to write a book. 17 00:00:45.560 --> 00:00:50.320 Well, I realized that My Pretty Baby is an autopsy 18 00:00:50.359 --> 00:00:55.240 of my family. I peeled apart the layers of intergenerational 19 00:00:55.240 --> 00:01:01.840 and childhood trauma, family dysfunction, family secrets, alcoholism, addiction, and 20 00:01:02.079 --> 00:01:09.799 I found healing through Buddhism, meditation, yoga, sobriety, music, psychotherapy, 21 00:01:09.879 --> 00:01:14.560 and Native American spirituality. And along the way, I had 22 00:01:14.719 --> 00:01:18.959 incredible encounters with icons like Ringo Starr and Joni Mitchell 23 00:01:19.439 --> 00:01:24.400 and Hunter S. Thompson. And My Pretty Baby is about resilience, 24 00:01:24.680 --> 00:01:29.239 recovery and creating your own chosen family when the one 25 00:01:29.280 --> 00:01:30.519 that you had is broken. 26 00:01:31.079 --> 00:01:32.920 I love the part about Hunter S. 27 00:01:33.000 --> 00:01:35.280 Thompson, and we all know he was a fixture in 28 00:01:35.319 --> 00:01:37.840 Aspen for many, many years. Tell me about that relationship. 29 00:01:37.879 --> 00:01:40.799 Tell the listeners about that relationship and how it came about. 30 00:01:42.159 --> 00:01:45.200 Well, I had been in Los Angeles for many years, 31 00:01:45.280 --> 00:01:47.680 and I was in the music industry, as you said, 32 00:01:47.680 --> 00:01:51.120 I was in film and so on. And I left 33 00:01:51.200 --> 00:01:55.359 Los Angeles for a job as a DJ on KSPNFM 34 00:01:55.959 --> 00:02:01.439 Roaring Fork Radio, and my program manager asked me if 35 00:02:01.480 --> 00:02:05.000 I knew who Hunter S. Thompson was, and I said, oh, 36 00:02:05.239 --> 00:02:09.199 I've read articles of his Rolling Stone magazine and isn't 37 00:02:09.199 --> 00:02:12.960 he a character in the Doonesbury cartoons? But I didn't 38 00:02:13.039 --> 00:02:15.520 know a whole lot more than that. And sure enough, 39 00:02:15.639 --> 00:02:18.000 the first week, you know, and of course, as a 40 00:02:18.080 --> 00:02:21.280 newbie DJ, I had the ungodly hour of two am 41 00:02:21.360 --> 00:02:23.759 to six am. Of course, so in my first week, 42 00:02:23.840 --> 00:02:27.400 at four in the morning, I, you know, answered the phone, 43 00:02:27.800 --> 00:02:31.840 good morning, Wendy Moore here on KSPNFM, Roaring Fork Radio, 44 00:02:32.439 --> 00:02:37.120 and here comes the voice. Yeah, can you play me 45 00:02:37.199 --> 00:02:42.080 some warrens ivon Lawyers, Guns and Money? And I played 46 00:02:42.120 --> 00:02:45.280 Warren Zevon for a Hunter for many more times thereafter 47 00:02:45.680 --> 00:02:50.599 a few weeks later, I actually met Hunter and he 48 00:02:50.719 --> 00:02:53.400 asked me if I wanted to be his assistant. So 49 00:02:53.639 --> 00:02:56.360 I was his assistant as well as being a DJ 50 00:02:56.520 --> 00:03:01.719 on KSPNFM. And by that time, I'm oddly enough, I 51 00:03:01.919 --> 00:03:05.520 was sober. I had quit drinking, I had quit smoking, 52 00:03:05.680 --> 00:03:09.080 I had quit it all. And you know, my years 53 00:03:09.120 --> 00:03:12.159 in working for Geffen Records and A and M Records 54 00:03:12.759 --> 00:03:15.360 in Los Angeles finally caught up with me and it 55 00:03:15.400 --> 00:03:19.159 was time to let it all go. And although it 56 00:03:19.240 --> 00:03:22.479 was just a professional relationship with Hunter, I was his 57 00:03:22.560 --> 00:03:28.759 assistant there. You know, he uh decidedly was not sober 58 00:03:29.039 --> 00:03:33.439 and he was doing it all and I was right 59 00:03:33.479 --> 00:03:36.639 in front of me, and in restaurants where we would go, 60 00:03:36.879 --> 00:03:42.599 he would you know, just unflinchingly snort lines of cocaine. 61 00:03:42.800 --> 00:03:48.560 And so it was an incredible experience because underneath that 62 00:03:48.680 --> 00:03:54.800 grufphic stereor underneath that facade of you know, his notorious habits. 63 00:03:55.199 --> 00:03:59.319 There was really a vulnerable and very soft center to Hunter, 64 00:03:59.479 --> 00:04:02.599 and that was the part that I connected to. And 65 00:04:03.039 --> 00:04:08.599 he was such a unique human being despite his notorious reputation, 66 00:04:08.800 --> 00:04:12.120 he was kind to me, and he was generous with me, 67 00:04:12.599 --> 00:04:16.959 and he really appreciated my work ethic and he mirrored 68 00:04:17.040 --> 00:04:20.839 back to me my self worth and my loveability. And 69 00:04:21.439 --> 00:04:24.720 that was why I in the book My Pretty Baby, 70 00:04:24.920 --> 00:04:27.600 I talk about that experience and why I talk about 71 00:04:27.600 --> 00:04:31.120 my experiences hanging out with Joni Mitchell and meeting Ringo 72 00:04:31.199 --> 00:04:36.480 Starrs because these larger than life celebrities were so kind 73 00:04:36.839 --> 00:04:40.920 and loving to me. And the message really is that 74 00:04:41.439 --> 00:04:44.800 you just never know how a simple act of kindness 75 00:04:44.800 --> 00:04:48.680 to another human being is going to unpack them for life. 76 00:04:49.079 --> 00:04:54.360 Do you think that your tumultuous family dynamic perhaps made 77 00:04:54.399 --> 00:04:58.959 you better suited to deal with the tumult of Hunter 78 00:04:59.120 --> 00:05:02.759 s Thompson or even the music scene when you were there? 79 00:05:02.959 --> 00:05:05.000 You know, I think that if you come from a 80 00:05:05.639 --> 00:05:07.720 we'll call it a leave it to Beaver background, right, 81 00:05:07.800 --> 00:05:12.160 those those perfect nuclear families, I think that the excesses 82 00:05:12.240 --> 00:05:15.720 of that age may have seemed too much, but because 83 00:05:15.839 --> 00:05:19.000 you didn't have that cleaver kind of family growing up. 84 00:05:19.040 --> 00:05:21.519 Do you think maybe you were better equipped somehow. 85 00:05:23.040 --> 00:05:25.240 You know, that's a really good question, and I never 86 00:05:25.279 --> 00:05:27.800 thought of it, but you're absolutely right. Of course, I 87 00:05:27.879 --> 00:05:32.079 also had a degree in psychology and a degree in theater, 88 00:05:32.199 --> 00:05:36.480 and I always thought that my degree in psychology helped 89 00:05:36.519 --> 00:05:40.079 me to deal with, you know, the likes of all 90 00:05:40.160 --> 00:05:43.279 the musicians that I met working for A and M 91 00:05:43.319 --> 00:05:47.560 Records and Keffen Records, and I was used to people's 92 00:05:47.680 --> 00:05:54.160 access excesses because my stepfather was an alcoholic, and so 93 00:05:54.439 --> 00:05:58.879 I did have experience with that. And you know, it's 94 00:05:59.000 --> 00:06:02.079 very interesting as you read my book, you'll you'll learn 95 00:06:02.399 --> 00:06:08.000 that my mother always would ask me to look at 96 00:06:08.000 --> 00:06:11.720 my stepfather's good side, which of course he had, and 97 00:06:12.399 --> 00:06:14.839 he had a good side, and he could he could 98 00:06:14.879 --> 00:06:17.839 be kind, and he could be generous, but he was 99 00:06:17.879 --> 00:06:20.439 also an alcoholic, and he was mentally ill, and he 100 00:06:20.560 --> 00:06:26.000 was violent. So I had been trained, literally since growing 101 00:06:26.079 --> 00:06:29.600 up to always look at people's good sides, even though 102 00:06:30.040 --> 00:06:34.560 they were notoriously high or drunk. 103 00:06:35.439 --> 00:06:38.319 The book is fantastic. It's an easy read. It is 104 00:06:38.480 --> 00:06:40.319 I think I read it. I know I read it 105 00:06:40.319 --> 00:06:44.160 in one sitting. It's just a really interesting story. And 106 00:06:44.199 --> 00:06:45.680 one of the things I said this to Wendy off 107 00:06:45.720 --> 00:06:47.839 the air. When you live in the public eye, even 108 00:06:47.879 --> 00:06:50.319 if you are a DJ in Aspen or you're working 109 00:06:50.360 --> 00:06:53.480 in movies and television, there's this perception that exists that 110 00:06:53.560 --> 00:06:55.600 you have led this charm life and you've never had 111 00:06:55.600 --> 00:06:58.879 a challenge and you've never had difficulty. And it's memoirs 112 00:06:58.920 --> 00:07:01.480 like this that I think help other people who have 113 00:07:01.560 --> 00:07:04.560 had similar difficulties, because gosh, I hate to say it, Wendy, 114 00:07:04.560 --> 00:07:07.079 and I'm sure you've had people tell you this. Your 115 00:07:07.120 --> 00:07:09.560 story is probably a lot like other people's stories, right 116 00:07:09.639 --> 00:07:12.399 in the sense that you had those challenges growing up, 117 00:07:12.439 --> 00:07:17.040 and yet you went on to have this absolutely fantastic life, 118 00:07:17.120 --> 00:07:19.240 it seems, I mean, from the outside looking. 119 00:07:18.959 --> 00:07:25.160 In, absolutely And that's why I one of the reasons 120 00:07:25.199 --> 00:07:27.959 why I wrote it, because I have friends that I've 121 00:07:28.000 --> 00:07:30.800 known for thirty years who are reading the book now 122 00:07:30.879 --> 00:07:33.839 and saying, oh my god, I had no idea that 123 00:07:33.879 --> 00:07:36.120 you had gone through this and gone through that. And 124 00:07:36.720 --> 00:07:40.680 originally I wrote My Pretty Baby because I realized that 125 00:07:40.759 --> 00:07:45.600 my family's dysfunction and secrets had written my biography and 126 00:07:45.800 --> 00:07:49.680 hince my biology, and I wanted to rewrite my story 127 00:07:49.720 --> 00:07:52.680 and choose my own happy ending. But as I was 128 00:07:52.720 --> 00:07:55.279 writing it, as you said, I realized, more than just 129 00:07:55.439 --> 00:07:59.040 my story, this is about how millions of us carry 130 00:07:59.120 --> 00:08:05.160 wounds that science now shows rewires our biology and impacts 131 00:08:05.199 --> 00:08:08.639 our health and relationships for life. So as I was 132 00:08:08.680 --> 00:08:11.720 writing it, I realized, this is a call to action. 133 00:08:12.120 --> 00:08:14.800 I want us may to be able to have these 134 00:08:14.839 --> 00:08:20.800 conversations honestly and openly, without shame, without guilt, because I 135 00:08:20.959 --> 00:08:24.240 believe this is how we're going to heal society. And 136 00:08:24.439 --> 00:08:28.360 fortunately for me, as I was reading writing my book, 137 00:08:28.519 --> 00:08:32.000 I was reading all of the latest research by the 138 00:08:32.159 --> 00:08:35.360 likes of doctor Gabor Mattey, who wrote The Myth of Normal, 139 00:08:35.799 --> 00:08:39.559 and doctor Bessel vander Kolk, who wrote The Body Keep Score, 140 00:08:40.159 --> 00:08:44.240 and realized, oh my gosh, all of this latest research 141 00:08:44.360 --> 00:08:47.600 is showing that about sixty one to sixty four percent 142 00:08:47.879 --> 00:08:53.399 of adults have at least one adverse childhood experience. And 143 00:08:53.440 --> 00:08:59.559 the listeners can go online and google adverse childhood experiences quiz. 144 00:08:59.679 --> 00:09:03.080 It's ten questions. You can take the quiz to see 145 00:09:03.080 --> 00:09:07.279 what number you have. And now we know that so 146 00:09:07.440 --> 00:09:10.919 many people carry trauma from their childhood, and we know 147 00:09:11.080 --> 00:09:16.039 now that it can increase your risk for depression, for anxiety, 148 00:09:16.799 --> 00:09:22.279 for rage, for chronic diseases, and if you have a 149 00:09:22.320 --> 00:09:26.519 score of six or more without seeking some kind of 150 00:09:26.600 --> 00:09:32.759 help and healing, your life expectancy can be affected. Now 151 00:09:32.799 --> 00:09:36.200 I have a score of seven out of ten. But 152 00:09:36.320 --> 00:09:40.159 the good news is that all of this research shows 153 00:09:40.679 --> 00:09:45.840 and is proving that the damage can be reversed with 154 00:09:45.919 --> 00:09:52.159 the very same modalities that I intuitively practice for the 155 00:09:52.159 --> 00:09:56.039 past forty five years. And so that is why my 156 00:09:56.240 --> 00:09:59.399 Pretty Baby is like a guidebook to other people who 157 00:09:59.440 --> 00:10:01.960 may not know how to begin or where to begin. 158 00:10:02.440 --> 00:10:06.600 And I hope that it inspires them to look at 159 00:10:06.639 --> 00:10:09.440 all of the things that I did to heal myself 160 00:10:09.519 --> 00:10:12.080 and maybe they could just choose one and start there, 161 00:10:12.960 --> 00:10:16.840 because it turns out all the things that I tried, 162 00:10:17.039 --> 00:10:24.200 like meditation and spirituality and yoga of course sobriety when needed, 163 00:10:24.799 --> 00:10:34.399 and all the somatic modalities like massage, yoga, movement, hiking, dance, meditation, 164 00:10:35.159 --> 00:10:40.840 we know are very healing. And in psychotherapy, one of 165 00:10:40.879 --> 00:10:46.200 the most important modalities for processing trauma is called EMDR 166 00:10:46.960 --> 00:10:52.519 I movement desensitation training. So I hope that the listeners 167 00:10:52.879 --> 00:10:57.320 if you're just beginning to heal. You know this is 168 00:10:57.480 --> 00:11:01.399 good information. This is a call to action for us 169 00:11:01.480 --> 00:11:05.200 to have these conversations and for us to heal, and 170 00:11:05.320 --> 00:11:08.639 perhaps for you to be the cycle breaker in your family. 171 00:11:09.039 --> 00:11:11.639 Love that the book is My Pretty Baby. The author 172 00:11:11.720 --> 00:11:14.679 is Wendy Corea. Wendy, thank you so much for writing, 173 00:11:14.799 --> 00:11:16.799 Thank you so much for sharing your story, and thanks 174 00:11:16.960 --> 00:11:18.240 so much for joining us today. 175 00:11:18.919 --> 00:11:22.440 Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate having 176 00:11:22.480 --> 00:11:24.679 this voice for my pretty Baby. 177 00:11:24.840 --> 00:11:26.159 Thank you, Thanks Wendy. 178 00:11:26.440 --> 00:11:29.480 You can find a link to Wendy's website and where 179 00:11:29.519 --> 00:11:30.240 you can buy her book. 180 00:11:30.240 --> 00:11:30.960 It's a great book.