Speaker 1: Pro chats with a Dare and he tells her he's
Speaker 1: been hooking up with a girl every night on the boat,
Speaker 1: but he's ready to move on and fall in love
Speaker 1: with her. Yeah, and then he asked her if it
Speaker 1: is does this make you feel weird? She says no,
Speaker 1: but he definitely made her feel weird. Standing next to
Speaker 1: a naked clown beating off would be less And yeah,
Speaker 1: it sounded weird to me, but I wouldn't like. The
Speaker 1: clowns are weird to me. I hate them, and I
Speaker 1: also hate Christmas. I hate.
Speaker 2: Hi long. Welcome to another brands Bag, new episode of
Speaker 2: bad TV. I'm Dylan. That's bad.
Speaker 1: Great to be here, permits boar.
Speaker 2: Granted, double granted, Hey, how are you?
Speaker 1: I'm doing great? The numbers are up. I think you
Speaker 1: know we need some reviews over at bad tv, which
Speaker 1: is feed you're listening to dow If you haven't left
Speaker 1: us a review yet, do you mind going over there
Speaker 1: and just click five stars.
Speaker 2: You don't have to write anything.
Speaker 1: No, I'd appreciate it if you wrote something you think that
Speaker 1: helps the algorithm.
Speaker 2: Oh, I wouldn't venture to guess, wouldn't venture to guess
Speaker 2: how the algorithm works? It's a mysterious opaque monster.
Speaker 1: As it is. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's the baby shower weekend.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, we'll be there.
Speaker 2: Wow are we going to have a bang and ap you?
Speaker 1: So my wife and I have conflicting interactions with you.
Speaker 1: My wife said, last week you walked out of the
Speaker 1: studio walk past her. While she was getting in her car,
Speaker 1: she sai, Dylan, we're coming to the baby shower. Can
Speaker 1: we bring the kids? She said that your answer was
Speaker 1: no kids. So then I said no, no, no, no, let
Speaker 1: me ask Dylan. I asked you on Friday, Dylan, can
Speaker 1: we bring our fucking kids? And you said yeah? So
Speaker 1: what's what's going on with the conflicting story? Is my
Speaker 1: wife a liar? Where you hot?
Speaker 2: Well believe all women true? But your wife is a
Speaker 2: filthy law Oh she is. I went out there. I said,
Speaker 2: are you bringing the kids? She said, oh, I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't you know she's all frazzled.
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, you got too. She's got two kids.
Speaker 2: It's just crazy.
Speaker 1: It's like way too you wait till you got two
Speaker 1: kids and you will someday.
Speaker 2: Well, okay, so she's all frazzled, right, And I go,
Speaker 2: are you bringing the kids, and she goes no. I
Speaker 2: think that she thought that I.
Speaker 1: Was already going to say no.
Speaker 2: I think that she thought that I was behaving as though,
Speaker 2: you know, in some kind of some kind of inquisitor
Speaker 2: role like I was, you know, trying to you know,
Speaker 2: nail it to the cross or something like, you know,
Speaker 2: do you want to bring the kids? Yeah? Boom, no, roasted,
Speaker 2: you can't bring them? Which is the I don't have
Speaker 2: that my heart. I understand that I love Ellie.
Speaker 1: Anyway, we'll be bringing the kids this weekend. Thank you
Speaker 1: for saving my money on having to pay for a sinner.
Speaker 2: Absolutely. The entire baby shower bonanza will be broken down
Speaker 2: at patroon dot com Slash another podcast network.
Speaker 1: For five bucks a month.
Speaker 2: Jesus, tell them how you can get five dollars?
Speaker 1: How can you get five dollars? Let me think here?
Speaker 2: Okay, oh want to hear something crazy?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Did you hear about this guy? And we'll get into
Speaker 2: below deck.
Speaker 1: Well, I was going to start to a rest home
Speaker 1: and actually get a job being i don't know, like
Speaker 1: a maintenance worker.
Speaker 2: Steal from the from the elderly.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, that's sad.
Speaker 2: That is one way to do it.
Speaker 1: When the person working at the front desk, isn't they
Speaker 1: the receptionist, dig into a person, take money out of it.
Speaker 2: Oh, got it, got it? Got it? Well, listen, I
Speaker 2: think that you know, Pat's eyes aren't big enough for
Speaker 2: his stomach. If you do want to get a job
Speaker 2: at a nursing home, I think that you could pretty
Speaker 2: much steal from everybody. You know, they're not very quick
Speaker 2: on the draw, and you'll have much more than five dollars.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't think they allow the elderly to keep
Speaker 1: money on their personal What are they going to do with,
Speaker 1: you know, full of fifty there?
Speaker 2: They're a cash generation. Okay, they don't know this, this
Speaker 2: V and these yeah, stuff like that. But what I
Speaker 2: wanted to bring up. Did you hear about this guy
Speaker 2: that got fifty mili off of Starbucks?
Speaker 1: How that happened?
Speaker 2: I see this headline and we'll get into blood decked
Speaker 2: and second.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, they did a campaign and he's like and
Speaker 1: he held them to it? Right, Like didn't he?
Speaker 2: Can I tell you the story?
Speaker 1: Okay? I think I read the same story.
Speaker 2: Okay, I see this headline. It says man Acchoirs or
Speaker 2: or man awarded fifty million dollars from Starbucks, and turn
Speaker 2: I turned to my wife, I go, why can't I
Speaker 2: singe my leg off for fifty million? I'll take a
Speaker 2: burn to the inner thigh for fifty million dollars. And
Speaker 2: then I go, oh, you know what that is a
Speaker 2: lot of bread for? So I'm reading the article. It
Speaker 2: was a door dash driver. He was handed a tray
Speaker 2: of beverages. One of them was a tee with an
Speaker 2: insecure lid. Okay or unsecure? I guess when you're talking
Speaker 2: about inadimate objects. It spilled on his lap and singed
Speaker 2: his genitals. He went through multiple operations irreparable damage.
Speaker 1: His testes are fries. So Dylan, this harkey back.
Speaker 2: I would not take fifty million for that.
Speaker 1: What do you want to need to make you a whole?
Speaker 2: If we're gonna melt my testies off? It depends on
Speaker 2: if you have kids or not. But if I'm a
Speaker 2: viral twenty four year old man, I mean, the sky's
Speaker 2: the limit. I wouldn't take any amount of money for that.
Speaker 2: So like to melt my balls off?
Speaker 1: Cock looks like Freddy Krueger's face. I understand while you're upset. Now, noh,
Speaker 1: you know in nineteen about five. Can you imagine a
Speaker 1: young Patty. I'm eight years old and I'm talking on
Speaker 1: the school bus and we're talking my buddy, Davey Clark.
Speaker 2: He's dead now, Sunny DAYA.
Speaker 1: He had a heart attack. While I was sleeping. We
Speaker 1: were going back and forth about this old bag who's
Speaker 1: suing McDonald's because a coffee was too hot. And that's
Speaker 1: when I realized this society was a bit too litigious.
Speaker 1: Then you see the injuries. She had a coffee spilled
Speaker 1: between her legs that literally melted her legs. Right, why
Speaker 1: are you making coffee that hot? And it turns out
Speaker 1: the McDonald's had been sued one hundred and forty thousand
Speaker 1: times for the same thing. Knock it off.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you gotta knock it off. No one needs it
Speaker 2: that hot. All right, let's get into below deck. How
Speaker 2: did we watch the episode? We watched it, but more importantly,
Speaker 2: what did we think about?
Speaker 1: Yes, you know, I always watched the show. Sometimes I
Speaker 1: like to record the episode the day that I actually
Speaker 1: saw the episode, not five days later. But oh yeah,
Speaker 1: because I forget all the fun details.
Speaker 2: Are you Are you being passive aggressive towards me?
Speaker 1: Not at all. No, no, no, no, no, no, okay, because
Speaker 1: we do a lot of this Monday night recording.
Speaker 2: We we couldn't record on Friday because I had I
Speaker 2: was stuck in ultrasounds all morning. You know, these people
Speaker 2: really don't care that you got places to be.
Speaker 1: No, they don't get shit.
Speaker 2: I mean it's now. I was present in that moment,
Speaker 2: looking forward to it, in that moment, and you know,
Speaker 2: my wife gets very upset with me because when I'm
Speaker 2: in any doctor's room, if they're really late, I'd start
Speaker 2: playing around. There's a lot of equipment in there. I
Speaker 2: just start kind of pushing and stuff. Yeah, there was
Speaker 2: a needle dispenser that I broke last time we were there.
Speaker 2: It just wouldn't go back to what and so she
Speaker 2: got pissed up. But anyways, we.
Speaker 1: Were understanding these goddamn doctors, especially in this field, the obgyn.
Speaker 1: You have an appointment, Yeah, you can gauge that's gonna
Speaker 1: be twenty minutes. Stay schedule their days.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but there are a lot of questions, you know,
Speaker 2: so many questions.
Speaker 1: And go, I gotta go wrap it up. Email me
Speaker 1: any questions now.
Speaker 2: The beautiful and magical women working in the obgyn departments
Speaker 2: across this country. You can be late. I'll tell you
Speaker 2: who can't be dermatologist? Get out of here. What am
Speaker 2: I doing waiting an hour and fifteen minutes to get
Speaker 2: scar cream from you?
Speaker 1: They're fucking around, that's what they're doing.
Speaker 2: It's crazy. Yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 1: Looking at what new car they want to buy on
Speaker 1: the web.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, get bet you it's Alexis.
Speaker 1: And what other industry does this work. I show up
Speaker 1: at a restaurant and I'm sitting down on my table
Speaker 1: waiting to give my order. Uh, A waiter can just
Speaker 1: show up what he gets to it?
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, Well that's the entire already of Europe,
Speaker 2: but and lots of other places too. But you know
Speaker 2: that's why you got a tip, keep some honest. Anyways,
Speaker 2: speaking of we spoke about this with Chef's Serena. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: before we get plugged that I'm plugging, okay, doing it?
Speaker 2: You plug it.
Speaker 1: We had a great interview with Chef's Serena. If you
Speaker 1: want to know what her relationship with that La bastard.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, that was that was juice.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, the lord chef she told I always asked
Speaker 1: the question, what's the craziest story you've ever seen on
Speaker 1: hers involved a pretty horny captain. That was pretty I
Speaker 1: always do that and you see you hear what she's
Speaker 1: up to now? And no great episode. I think it's
Speaker 1: like twenty minutes or we'll drop.
Speaker 2: Every long days, we'll drop it later. Okay, thoughts and nuts.
Speaker 1: There were some surprises in this episode for me doing that.
Speaker 1: I didn't see kubby Dog.
Speaker 2: That's very exciting.
Speaker 1: I thought that crazy love letter, which production spent a
Speaker 1: lot of time mocking fucking was going to be his
Speaker 1: undoing What is what is.
Speaker 2: Kevin Spaceman's uh name and usual suspects riddle or something
Speaker 2: like that.
Speaker 1: Why did you have to ask that?
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, no, no, no, I know it's kaiser name. Yeah.
Speaker 2: But when his limp straightens out, oh god, I don't know.
Speaker 2: That was essentially like when when his limp straightens out,
Speaker 2: and when a Dare was like, I think this is
Speaker 2: really sweet. It's pretty much the same face. I was
Speaker 2: so shock egg.
Speaker 1: It was quite a twist. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna say it was Darth Vader's Luke's father to us,
Speaker 1: but it was up there.
Speaker 2: That was a big twist. Wow, you know, I was
Speaker 2: finally on Instagram, and I saw finally on Instagram. I'm
Speaker 2: on it all the time, but I finally saw someone
Speaker 2: echo my fury and my sentiment towards M Night chamming
Speaker 2: Man's Trapped. The first person that said, are we all
Speaker 2: just gonna sit around this guy and spend twenty million
Speaker 2: dollars for a promotional commercial? First daughter, I mean, what
Speaker 2: are we doing here? Thank you? I feel seen. What
Speaker 2: were the other surprises this episode?
Speaker 1: I don't remember, but I could shit all over that
Speaker 1: movie trap for like two hours. I love how the
Speaker 1: movie should end at some point, Oh no, we got
Speaker 1: twenty more men minutes of nonsensical plot.
Speaker 2: It should have ended when he thought, you know, I
Speaker 2: could make a movie to further my daughter's career. That's
Speaker 2: when it should have ended.
Speaker 1: And the genius is he probably got investors to.
Speaker 2: Pay for Oh yeah, yeah, a couple of pedos in
Speaker 2: Europe going off financier movie.
Speaker 1: M Night shamming Man. Oh man, Yeah, I loved what
Speaker 1: was that?
Speaker 2: Breaking Breaking Bed?
Speaker 1: Yeah? That was a great movie. Yeah, all right, did
Speaker 1: you give your nas yet?
Speaker 2: No? I didn't even give them, Okay, give them.
Speaker 1: Audience has got to get pissed. I think we're fifteen
Speaker 1: minutes said, we haven't talked about the goddamn show yet.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, it's been fun though.
Speaker 1: I enjoy talking to my buddy Dell.
Speaker 2: Pots. What were my pots? This show continues to be
Speaker 2: just a hearkening back to the show that we loved.
Speaker 2: There's so much in a turmoil, there's so much strife.
Speaker 2: I think that Alisha has really come into the show
Speaker 2: as the show needs heart.
Speaker 1: You know, we talked.
Speaker 2: About it with love a blind, love a blind all
Speaker 2: the time, that you can't just have a cast of
Speaker 2: filth that's Flora Bama Shore. You need some anchors, you
Speaker 2: need heart, right, We've got that in Alicia. I think
Speaker 2: we've got it in Johnny. You know that there are
Speaker 2: pillars of genuine good vibes aboard this vessel.
Speaker 1: I you know she does have heart, and I also
Speaker 1: she has a little sass.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, there's.
Speaker 1: A plenty of on this vessel. I love when she
Speaker 1: told v Hand fuck off, make his.
Speaker 2: Own honestly, out of my seat metaphorically figuratively. I have
Speaker 2: never gotten up out of my seat one time for
Speaker 2: this show. But ninety pots. Great show, great season.
Speaker 1: Great season. I'm totally enjoying it. That surprise. We already
Speaker 1: pointed out that the fact that a dare was not
Speaker 1: completely grossed out and dare I say creeped out one
Speaker 1: if there was an HR department, perhaps speak to someone
Speaker 1: in that department.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah yeah. And also how old we man, like,
Speaker 2: how old is that? We'll get to it.
Speaker 1: We're all children. I'm gonna give it forty nine.
Speaker 2: So we start off with a little maya kulpa from
Speaker 2: the j man the Greek. Uh, looks like Aphrodite was
Speaker 2: pushing him a little too close to Alicia's face.
Speaker 1: So what you're referring to as after knowing her for
Speaker 1: five and a half minutes, he tried to stick her tongue.
Speaker 2: Down her Yeah, kiss her right.
Speaker 1: I think he's in the galley early this morning to
Speaker 1: in fact see if she plans on bringing charges against him.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, feeling her out. But she says no, she
Speaker 2: I was cool with it was but I don't know
Speaker 2: why you seem a little caught up on charges.
Speaker 3: This is this is the world of seer rutes. There's
Speaker 3: no I understand that. I understand that, but I guess.
Speaker 2: This isn't target you know.
Speaker 1: Well, that's a great point because in any other work environment.
Speaker 1: This would be completely unacceptable, as is when your direct
Speaker 1: supervisor composes a very creepy, motherfucking love letter to you.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And there are a lot of kind of rolls
Speaker 2: of the dice before we even get depending that letter
Speaker 2: that are grossly inappropriate. But you know, I was thinking,
Speaker 2: what kind of I think you should leave sketch would
Speaker 2: it be to do this show but for target employees?
Speaker 2: I mean it'd be okay. So meanwhile, meanwhile Jet Ski arrives,
Speaker 2: We and Laura have a chat about Serena, and then
Speaker 2: we get a little c red history.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, well for so yeah, Laura checks in on
Speaker 1: v Han's rather chaotic love life also, and he appears
Speaker 1: to be playing the field.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and Uncle ball of love.
Speaker 1: I think, oh, he was referring to Zorena and the
Speaker 1: kiss that they'd shared, and I think he says, look,
Speaker 1: she threw a vage in my face. What was I
Speaker 1: going to do? Not motor about it?
Speaker 2: Why? I wish that we had producer Kalen Bak so
Speaker 2: he could flag that moment, because otherwise I got to
Speaker 2: go back and listen to it. And I was like,
Speaker 2: when did Pat talk about When did Pat say that
Speaker 2: disgusting shit that came out of his mouth, and I
Speaker 2: was like really pissed because I was gonna have to
Speaker 2: edit it. But now I'm like, it's so late, and
Speaker 2: you know what, I'm just gonna leave it in.
Speaker 1: That's what me Hans said, quote end quotes in essence.
Speaker 2: Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's basically those quotes are working overtime.
Speaker 1: Well yeah, he blames him on Zarena because it's like,
Speaker 1: what am I supposed to do when a woman's throwing
Speaker 1: himself at me?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're supposed to return the favor.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 2: Let's think it very offended. H Okay, so we get
Speaker 2: a little c red history with the Sioux. It's a
Speaker 2: tale as old as time, masking the isolation of self
Speaker 2: discovery or I should say, drowning it in booze.
Speaker 1: Well, Dylan, I think you have the the first word
Speaker 1: self correct. The other word you have wrong is self
Speaker 1: destructive is the word of the day.
Speaker 2: I don't think you heard what I said.
Speaker 1: What did you say? I said? What is self discovery?
Speaker 2: Yeah? The isolation of self discovery, you know, because we're
Speaker 2: all you know, at the end of the day, you
Speaker 2: take that journey alone, right, People can people can put
Speaker 2: imprints on you not do certain ways, but you take
Speaker 2: that journey alone, and it's a scary journey a lot
Speaker 2: of the times. And that's why sea rats flee to
Speaker 2: the middle of the ocean.
Speaker 1: That's right, now, Dylan. She may have mentioned the d
Speaker 1: word discovery, but she also mentioned that she'd been on
Speaker 1: a path of quote unquote self destruction. And for a
Speaker 1: sea rat, that's like a kid admitting they like ice cream,
Speaker 1: no shit, yeah yeah, yeah. So well apparently she has
Speaker 1: a twin sister. Oh yeah, well one is a twin
Speaker 1: and they were besties and now she's learning how to
Speaker 1: live life on her own. It's worth mentioning. They never
Speaker 1: mentioned the dad, but I think we can make an
Speaker 1: educated guess on why she didn't mention him. He's uh,
Speaker 1: he's nowhere in the picture.
Speaker 2: You know. I finally, you remember when I talked about
Speaker 2: that Sonya Walger book. I was reading ember Sonia Walker.
Speaker 2: I get to the end of this tale, right, and
Speaker 2: I think this is a true story. Her father a
Speaker 2: bit of a scumbag, right, Argentine Diletant. He goes skydiving,
Speaker 2: he gets he becomes obsessed with skydiving, he's one of
Speaker 2: these manic children. Okay, check this out. Okay. So he goes,
Speaker 2: this is Sonya Walger's father. All right. So he hits
Speaker 2: the deck pretty hard one day because evidently it takes
Speaker 2: two rotations to slow you down to uh not terminal velocity.
Speaker 2: Uh just explodes out of his the bones, they explode everywhere, right,
Speaker 2: But he lives. But it's that injury that sends him
Speaker 2: into a spiral of depression. They have to chop his
Speaker 2: leg off because you know, medicine wasn't what it used
Speaker 2: to be in the nineties and the two thousands, you know,
Speaker 2: So they chop his fucking leg off. He goes, I
Speaker 2: want to kill myself, right, Sonia Walger says, don't don't
Speaker 2: do that. Okay, I love you. You've been very absent throughout
Speaker 2: my entire life.
Speaker 1: I think they had like you could have like a
Speaker 1: wood peg leg. The technology. Well yeah, yea, yeah.
Speaker 2: He got used to the prosthetic. He said, all right,
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna kill myself. And then one day, strident,
Speaker 2: stubborn mule of a man, right, is up on a
Speaker 2: rafter with one leg trying to like string a light
Speaker 2: or something.
Speaker 1: Falls dies by accident.
Speaker 2: By accident Sonya Walger's dad. Yeah, wow, crazy story. Now
Speaker 2: that's sad. Now that's sad.
Speaker 1: But Alicia's story zero on the statska try. She also
Speaker 1: mentions before she lays out this rather pathetic Sea Rats
Speaker 1: story that she has no actual experience of the kitchen.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, great, buried the lead. Can't cook?
Speaker 1: Make make those those steal lots that you're watching?
Speaker 2: Shine baby, why don't you say like a fat gut?
Speaker 1: I was doing it like in imitation of a jerk supervisor.
Speaker 2: Lara is still very pissed off, and Marina quite the
Speaker 2: eagle as she can spawn a fucking disgusting loose hair
Speaker 2: in the middle of a bet. I mean that that's disgusting,
Speaker 2: but I gotta I would never have seen that. It's
Speaker 2: kind of like superpower stuff.
Speaker 1: All right, So we get to is this what we
Speaker 1: get to Harry and Brianna bouncing back and forth telling
Speaker 1: where they think they are in the relationship.
Speaker 2: No, this is where I think Laura or Marina accuses
Speaker 2: we end of going through the entire roster of women.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's actually the next thing. So v Han
Speaker 1: chats with Zarena and Lara joins in and they joke
Speaker 1: about wee Hand being a kissing kissing Bandit.
Speaker 2: He's a kissing band.
Speaker 1: And then we find out in this episode that Serena
Speaker 1: is like, I don't really care. Yeah, I'm just having fun.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just bouncing around.
Speaker 1: You know what. You accept people as they are, right, Uh,
Speaker 1: don't wait for people to disappoint you. And if you
Speaker 1: take them as they are, they're going to be making
Speaker 1: out with other people in between having sex with you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, a million percent. But he is spenten by love.
Speaker 2: I don't know if you do. You want to get
Speaker 2: to the big red and hairbear thing before we get
Speaker 2: to the.
Speaker 1: We'll get there. Patty wants to tell the personal story
Speaker 1: because Harry and Brianna are not on the same page.
Speaker 1: She wants him to pick up the pace and or
Speaker 1: she's gonna move on if he doesn't. Yeah, and he
Speaker 1: thinks everything is going fucking great. Typical guy senior year
Speaker 1: college me. I'm dating a girl named Summer right before
Speaker 1: we're about to go on Christmas break. Summer Summer. My
Speaker 1: mom called her Sumner. I'm like, Mom, you never she
Speaker 1: calls my wife Sherry. I don't know, Okay, anyway.
Speaker 2: I think that's what the kids call a micro aggression,
Speaker 2: that's right, Yeah, but how long has she known?
Speaker 1: Sherry's I've been with my wife going on thirteen years.
Speaker 1: Thirteen years, but to be fair, she called the hippie
Speaker 1: white car right by the rock game. All right. So
Speaker 1: sumner summer, right before were about to go on Christmas break,
Speaker 1: we start dating and I'm like, hey, have a great
Speaker 1: Christmas break. I'm really enjoying spending time with you. And
Speaker 1: I was like, I can't wait to see him when
Speaker 1: we get back. Now, So Christmas breaks in college or
Speaker 1: a month and a half. Sure, I get back the
Speaker 1: first day, get off the plane, drive up to campus,
Speaker 1: walking around, trying to find summer. She's a little cold
Speaker 1: to me. I'm like, hey, what's going on. She doesn't
Speaker 1: want to talk to me. And then I learned, like
Speaker 1: days later she wanted me to call her over Christmas
Speaker 1: break and all this. And then she tells me I
Speaker 1: got a guy that I was from high school. He's
Speaker 1: coming up to stay in my dorm for two weeks. Now.
Speaker 1: I'm like, Jesus f H.
Speaker 2: Like, I know it moved so fast, the heartbreak.
Speaker 1: I didn't realize that I should have been more attentive
Speaker 1: guys are dumb.
Speaker 2: Okay, So anyways, a Dare is approached.
Speaker 1: She's approached hats with a Dare and he tells her
Speaker 1: he's been hooking up with a girl every night on
Speaker 1: the boat, but he's ready to move on and fall
Speaker 1: in love with her. Yeah, and then he asked her
Speaker 1: if it is does this make you feel weird? She
Speaker 1: says no, but he definitely made her feel weird. Standing
Speaker 1: next to a naked clown beating off would be less
Speaker 1: And yeah, it sounded weird to me, but I wouldn't like.
Speaker 1: The clowns are weird to me. I hate them. And
Speaker 1: I also hate Christmas.
Speaker 2: I hate Yeah, I hate the thought of that. That
Speaker 2: is so scary. Oh my god. But yeah, so think
Speaker 2: about this. Your boss comes up to you and he
Speaker 2: kind of vomits out all the trials and tribulations he's
Speaker 2: had with the other women aboard the vessels, aboard the vessel,
Speaker 2: and then professes his crush on you. Ween is this
Speaker 2: is just not how you operate in places of work.
Speaker 1: If you worked at Target and you did this, and
Speaker 1: I think in most cases, even if the girl was
Speaker 1: like he's I'm attracted to him, would still find this
Speaker 1: as vile behavior and he would be fired. They wouldn't
Speaker 1: wait till Friday. It would be no, thrown out of
Speaker 1: the building in twenty minutes.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: When I worked at that insurance company, this was all
Speaker 1: over the place.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, because insurance companies
Speaker 2: are essentially like yachts kind of.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean the walls close in. You all meet up
Speaker 2: and binge drink after work.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 2: Okay, So a dares not into him. She thinks that
Speaker 2: he's I don't know, gay or something. Okay, So preference
Speaker 2: sheet meeting and a three four.
Speaker 1: Prefriend sheet matag.
Speaker 2: Okay, uh, some kind of crime person, I think lawyer.
Speaker 2: Crime person is coming board the vessel. She's bringing all
Speaker 2: of her lady friends and they from around the world.
Speaker 2: I love it, from around the world. And they are
Speaker 2: going to Lyddy, a tortoise sanctuary. Oh my god, man,
Speaker 2: do I love a tortoise to what stunning stunning creatures? Yeah,
Speaker 2: they just fire away and complete passivity and wisdom for
Speaker 2: all their life.
Speaker 1: They pointed out. I did a PMZ on this on
Speaker 1: this tortoise that was almost two hundred years old.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Now, poor bastards blind.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's two hundreds, two centuries old.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's crazy to think, but one would ask, why
Speaker 1: do you live so long? What do you have to
Speaker 1: live for?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: You let us all day?
Speaker 2: Well, they'd like lettuce, Oh wa, gonna have purpose of life?
Speaker 1: Right? Should we learn from tortoises?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I think we should learn from tortoises. Do you
Speaker 2: know that their shells have sacred geometry?
Speaker 1: Hmm, like a like a tree.
Speaker 2: Trees have sacred geometry too, but it's a little bit
Speaker 2: more loosey goosey. Tortoises have real concrete lines of divinity
Speaker 2: strewn up and down their back Listen, we love a tortoise?
Speaker 1: Yeah, never buy a tortoise. I'm gonna tell you as
Speaker 1: an animal person, because you're gonna out They're gonna outlive you,
Speaker 1: and then you gotta worry about their future if you
Speaker 1: fall in love with them as a child.
Speaker 2: And you will fall in love with them. They're so gosh,
Speaker 2: aren't cute? The way they bite things? It's just amazing,
Speaker 2: all right? So A dare asks Johnny if he's been
Speaker 2: to the waffle house that was a low percentage? Yes,
Speaker 2: just going to say that we and breaks from work
Speaker 2: to write a letter. This break is about thirty minutes long,
Speaker 2: and uh it is about them on a perfect sunlit
Speaker 2: day with country music playing in the background while butterflies
Speaker 2: are fluttering in his tummy. Listen. I know the cast listens,
Speaker 2: so I don't want to be too I.
Speaker 1: Think they understand. We're basically joking about it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're joking. How dumb is this guy?
Speaker 1: I know he's an idiot.
Speaker 2: I mean, what do you do would write this letter? Man?
Speaker 1: Well, don't pi on our faces.
Speaker 2: You know, maybe we're just not brave enough to do
Speaker 2: something this stupid.
Speaker 1: Now I've done this, Yeah, I wasn't on camera.
Speaker 2: Well, when I was in fifth grade, I did.
Speaker 1: I used to ask this girl, Carrie Danike, to go
Speaker 1: to Roll on America every Sunday throughout the summer of
Speaker 1: nineteen eighty five. She said no, she do this thing,
Speaker 1: which I appreciated. She goes, oh, this is pat because
Speaker 1: you know you call. We don't have cell phones back then,
Speaker 1: and she go, let me go ask my dad. Hold up,
Speaker 1: I'd be anxiously waiting is Carrie tonight Roll on America
Speaker 1: where I did like the beats right, yeah, And she's like,
Speaker 1: dad said, I can't go.
Speaker 2: Yeah, damn it.
Speaker 1: All right, Well I'll call you next Sunday.
Speaker 2: Okay, God, you just soak in that Americana of that
Speaker 2: tail right there, and you just you're really long, you know.
Speaker 2: Now it's all dms and dick pics. That's right, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean? I can sod them and way.
Speaker 1: Better back in the day.
Speaker 2: All right, So we get ready to greet the guests.
Speaker 2: Ween is still talking about the letter Caroline and the kooks,
Speaker 2: right though, there are so many of them, it looked
Speaker 2: like there were fifty of them.
Speaker 1: Question, did one of them, as they're getting the tour
Speaker 1: of the vessel say that Captain hot Jason was checking
Speaker 1: her out?
Speaker 2: MM? I think so too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm him. I'm pissed.
Speaker 2: Guys. Let's take a quick break to talk about an
Speaker 2: amazing company. If you're ready to optimize your nutrition this year?
Speaker 2: Are you? Are you ready?
Speaker 1: I know I am.
Speaker 2: Well, then Factor is for you. They have chef made
Speaker 2: gourmet meals that make eating well easy, their dietician approved
Speaker 2: ready to heat and eat in two minutes, so you
Speaker 2: can feel right and film it no matter what life
Speaker 2: throws at you. Now we've rattled off a couple of
Speaker 2: different things that life can throw at you.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Uh, asteroid.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's not just life, that's the solar system.
Speaker 2: Bad movie. You could see a bad movie, yeah, be
Speaker 2: all bummed out about it afterwards. Yeah, and then an
Speaker 2: asteroid could it you? But listen, you're going to get
Speaker 2: through all of that if you have reliable, quick, easy,
Speaker 2: nutritious meals in your fridge. Pat, what are some of
Speaker 2: your favorites.
Speaker 1: Well, some of my favorites are everything on their menu
Speaker 1: that is vegetarian. You know, I'm trying to convert over
Speaker 1: to vegetarian. Yes, yes, And they have like a billion
Speaker 1: options over there, and they're all low calorie choices.
Speaker 2: Yeah. With forty options across eight dietary preferences on the
Speaker 2: menu each week, it's easy to pick meals tailor to
Speaker 2: your goals. If you want to convert to Hinduism the
Speaker 2: way that Patrick is right now, you can do that.
Speaker 2: Choose from preferences like calorie smart, protein plus, keto, vegetarian.
Speaker 2: It's all there. The rainbow is yours at Factor, where
Speaker 2: you can eat smart with Factor. Get started at Factor
Speaker 2: meals dot com, Slash Factor Podcasts and use code Factor
Speaker 2: Podcasts to get fifty percent off your first blox plus
Speaker 2: free shipping. That's code Factor podcast at Factor meals dot com.
Speaker 2: Slash Factor podcast to get fifty percent off plus free
Speaker 2: shipping on your first box. Thank you Factor. Yeah man,
Speaker 2: getting it to the wife. You know.
Speaker 3: It's not okay, definitely not yeah, sorry ever accused someone
Speaker 3: of that?
Speaker 1: If you definitely didn't happen anyway, where are we? All right? Meanwhile,
Speaker 1: the heads of both departments and uh chat or something
Speaker 1: and h Zarena and Alicia. Oh yeah, yeah, sorry, one
Speaker 1: thing I'm noticing here. Sorry, my notes are a mess.
Speaker 1: Zarena is getting along along swimmingly.
Speaker 2: With Alicia, is the perfect attitude, and she has no
Speaker 2: idea how to cook, so she is perfect candidate for Serena. God.
Speaker 2: I mean, I would be so pissed if I was Jason.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, all right, all right, So this is
Speaker 1: where Vhan. It only took me eight episodes to say
Speaker 1: his name correctly. Uh he uh.
Speaker 2: You know the fans have lamented that we don't give
Speaker 2: them that any nicknames anymore. Right, Well it's not it's right,
Speaker 2: but I mean we should really do something.
Speaker 1: All right, I'll work on it. So he reads his
Speaker 1: uh insane letter to Harry. Have you ever had a
Speaker 1: buddy do that to you?
Speaker 2: Mmm? Nope, I had a buddy do that to me.
Speaker 2: My god, are we talk full of personal stories?
Speaker 1: Oh? Sorry, well I'll move it on.
Speaker 2: But no, no, no, hey.
Speaker 1: I sent this text to this girl because she's confused
Speaker 1: me on what's going on with the thing. And he
Speaker 1: reads it to me and I said, you use the
Speaker 1: word heavy petting in that text? Are you out of
Speaker 1: your fucking mind?
Speaker 2: What content?
Speaker 1: And you can't take back a text?
Speaker 2: What context was that?
Speaker 1: Well, he was asking, uh, you know, we've been on
Speaker 1: five dates and we haven't a kisstore done any heavy petting.
Speaker 1: And I was like, are you eighty five fucking years old?
Speaker 2: Ye say that? Yeah, he's trying to be he's trying
Speaker 2: to be cute.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was a wording for him that I think
Speaker 1: was being polite.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not. No, it's weird.
Speaker 1: Very weird.
Speaker 2: That not as weird as a naked clown beating off
Speaker 2: next to you. That is so fucking weird. Okay, so
Speaker 2: we have a little trouble with the door. These ladies
Speaker 2: are getting tanked pretty quick. They're falling on the floor
Speaker 2: and they're stomping on each other's head.
Speaker 1: They're having a great time.
Speaker 2: They're having a blast. And then we get to the
Speaker 2: well this is where he's reading them the note. I
Speaker 2: love that Serena is just filming them doing absolutely nothing.
Speaker 2: The guests have requested traditional dance, so what they're going
Speaker 2: to get instead are three boat employees in silver underwear
Speaker 2: shaking their their little their little booties around. Listen, we
Speaker 2: talked about it last week. This stuff works. This stuff
Speaker 2: just freaking works. Know how to do it. So the
Speaker 2: j Man is a little bit more micromanagerial this episode.
Speaker 2: He's like, you love a chat. You know, he's really
Speaker 2: he's really getting after him. But then we get to
Speaker 2: Laura and we and Lara hates him. Yeah, and Ween
Speaker 2: is not the biggest fan of her. This is what
Speaker 2: we love. This is what we need, you know what
Speaker 2: I mean?
Speaker 1: Bumping heads with departments absolutely, especially at the top.
Speaker 2: You know, of course we need some tension in the
Speaker 2: various departments. But when the two factions that run the
Speaker 2: boat are warring, now that's conflict.
Speaker 1: True. Where do you side? I'm somewhere in the middle here.
Speaker 1: I think Lara is leaning a little too heavy on
Speaker 1: the decky department.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not sure. I'm more like Johnny, like, you know,
Speaker 2: let's not mope, let's not blame, Let's have some good vibes,
Speaker 2: Let's get some good fucking tips man.
Speaker 1: Which makes me ask why in a later episode in
Speaker 1: the season, is that young man punching a wall.
Speaker 2: You're gonna have to stay tuned. I guess so, because
Speaker 2: I'm also very confused about that. I am it's got
Speaker 2: to be over Alicia.
Speaker 1: I think someone gets fired, That's all I'll say. But anyway,
Speaker 1: she he says there's a gray area, and then she
Speaker 1: just thinks he's a lazy piece of shit and not
Speaker 1: passionate about it.
Speaker 2: Can I say something really quickly? Your menagetois in the
Speaker 2: d MS, with all these sea rats is really harming
Speaker 2: your ability to focus on the narrative of this television show.
Speaker 1: Oh you think so, I'm distracted?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I mean, I I you know, I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't talk to him. I remain pure, clean and
Speaker 2: innocent throughout this whole process. You're slipping things out to
Speaker 2: the audience that people might get fired. I mean, it's uh,
Speaker 2: it's a conflict of interest.
Speaker 1: I thought, Oh, I didn't say any of that.
Speaker 2: I think you did all right, let's get to dinner.
Speaker 1: Well, I was gonna say v Ann has a workaround
Speaker 1: for Lara's mandate that they need a little help from
Speaker 1: the decies, because she said I see them standing right.
Speaker 1: Oh yeahyeah, yeah, he's got a fix. Okay, here's the
Speaker 1: fix here. When there's nothing to do, right, but you're
Speaker 1: still working, pretend like you're doing something, you know, that's
Speaker 1: that's the way you get out of doing dishes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean we and we'd love to have you
Speaker 2: on the show. But how this guy is Bosona? I
Speaker 2: have no idea. He's a deckhand. He is not a Boson. Yeah,
Speaker 2: not a Boson at all. All Right, so Martini's to
Speaker 2: start dinner. I can see a pretty cranked up be
Speaker 2: a c then I you know, if you start with Martini's,
Speaker 2: you're gonna have a You're gonna get ripped up. Oh yeah, Martin,
Speaker 2: it's like three shots of git.
Speaker 1: Well that's why you just use it as a sipper
Speaker 1: for like an.
Speaker 2: Hour, yeah, half hour. So Alicia made a little curry
Speaker 2: for the crew. It is inedible double dog, a double
Speaker 2: dog Dare food, which is perfect.
Speaker 1: Okay. I felt bad for them. They're working all day
Speaker 1: long and you make inedible food for that sad the
Speaker 1: poor guy has to sit there and eat something that
Speaker 1: it's like burning his throat.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, as I two spice cocks, I guess
Speaker 2: I hate spicy. I mean we yeah, we would not.
Speaker 2: I would throw a canip shit if I was served
Speaker 2: something far too spicy. Not right right, right at all?
Speaker 1: Okay, I want to make another observation here. I was
Speaker 1: not crazy about the cruise shirts that they made them
Speaker 1: wear to serve dinner. Did you catch that, TACKI They
Speaker 1: look like they worked at the White Lotus Hotel. And
Speaker 1: that's a tiki bar.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I like it. Yeah, you big tiki guy.
Speaker 2: You a tiki like.
Speaker 1: A pineapple drink with a little booze in it.
Speaker 2: No, I know, But are you a teaky like like.
Speaker 1: You know, referring to the bar down the street from me.
Speaker 2: Well, the LA has these like teaky haunts that people
Speaker 2: go to.
Speaker 1: You know. Yeah, there's one down the street from me,
Speaker 1: and there's there's one near you on Sunset. I think
Speaker 1: the bar only fits it's a bathroom size.
Speaker 2: Well that's what I'm saying. All of these tiki haunts
Speaker 2: they're tiny, and there's like it's like a trying to
Speaker 2: get on the fucking matter horn to go in and
Speaker 2: suck down rum, you.
Speaker 1: Know what I mean, And they get pushed around. You
Speaker 1: can't even enjoy your goddamn drink.
Speaker 2: Yeah, people are screaming, and there are like regulars there.
Speaker 2: I'm like, how are you a regular who just goes
Speaker 2: and drinks my ties all the time? Be a fucking
Speaker 2: Vietnam veteran? Like, what's going on here? All right?
Speaker 1: If she has a type, based on her description of
Speaker 1: what she's into, I think she should date kid Rock.
Speaker 2: M hmm, yeah, which is the exact.
Speaker 1: Well, not that different than van I guess.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, Vann is the mini Cooper version of
Speaker 2: kid Rock. But if you're pissed about a cultural issue,
Speaker 2: perhaps and you you wanna you know, let's say, take
Speaker 2: your I R out on a stack of bud lights.
Speaker 2: I dare be right there with you. That was so
Speaker 2: cool when he shot all of them. Yeah yeah, yeah, awesome. Yeah, dude,
Speaker 2: he is he is the best.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's great. You know what that loser? Yeah, he
Speaker 1: played the MTV Music Awards two years in a row
Speaker 1: for some reason. I don't know why they booked himwo
Speaker 1: years in a row. He did the same song that bow,
Speaker 1: which he bowed about. In twenty ten, he showed up
Speaker 1: there again. Right, You'll never guess what Soggy performed.
Speaker 2: I bet he was like, I'm a fucking artist. I'm
Speaker 2: gonna do back down South. I'm not doing bomb to bomb.
Speaker 2: And there was some producer that came out. They went, kid,
Speaker 2: that's not what these people need.
Speaker 1: You're doing the boat bed.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I hate this. What a talent? Okay, So yeah,
Speaker 2: she has a type of evidently hick chauvinists, but it
Speaker 2: hasn't been working for her, which is the gate opening
Speaker 2: on her love for when local chicken curry with pineapple
Speaker 2: kicks things off with open Hawaiian shirts.
Speaker 1: Oh. By the way, little tease Dill did not let
Speaker 1: up on Zarena in that interview with her.
Speaker 2: Oh I kind of did.
Speaker 1: You went in honor a couple of things.
Speaker 2: All right, Well, I mean, you know, well, we got
Speaker 2: to keep it. We got to keep it, honest, we
Speaker 2: got to keep it saucy.
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, it's saucy, lots of saucy.
Speaker 2: Sauce everywhere on that one.
Speaker 1: It's because it was on the preference sheet eight thousand times.
Speaker 1: I'd like to see those preference sheets. Yea, dyl you
Speaker 1: were talking about.
Speaker 2: I was talking about the curry, right, and it's curry
Speaker 2: and the people come out and they have their shirts
Speaker 2: open and their abs are out. And before this, it's
Speaker 2: important to note for the record, with the record show,
Speaker 2: Ween is giving a Spartacus moment. Pep talk to the
Speaker 2: boys as though they are about to land on Normandy. Okay,
Speaker 2: you're not going to be pissed off when you got
Speaker 2: twenty five hundred bones coming your way. Okay, So that's
Speaker 2: important to color this next thing that happens. They get
Speaker 2: in their little shorts and they come out for dessert,
Speaker 2: which is rum and coconut cake.
Speaker 1: I love rum and coconut. I would love this dessert.
Speaker 2: You are a big, big tropical fruit dessert.
Speaker 1: Not only that, I like smoshy wet. I can just
Speaker 1: taste that rum in that cake.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah yeah, pineapple upside down. Oh yes, what about
Speaker 2: a trace leches you're oh you kiddy?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I even buy those from the grocery.
Speaker 2: Oh that's so wet. That's a wet, very wet. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2: We So anyways, we in kind of pulls a Times
Speaker 2: Out kind of moment.
Speaker 1: Oh I was I was ready to be an ally. Yeah,
Speaker 1: despite uh, despite showing his naked body at every goddamn opportunity,
Speaker 1: At this very moment, he feels exploited.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I meant to say times up, but yeah we
Speaker 2: in who a former employee of multiple months at Beef Cheeks,
Speaker 2: is now really upset that he was objectified in this
Speaker 2: horrific manner.
Speaker 1: He feels like a piece of bea.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, well you are, you're see rat? All right?
Speaker 2: Dinner was two courses. I don't know if that's editing.
Speaker 2: If it's not editing, let us know, three pots can't
Speaker 2: serve people curriem cake call of a day, right, we
Speaker 2: can't do that, all right? So Adair's got mail. She
Speaker 2: goes ugh long letter and then we read down. I
Speaker 2: don't know what this fucking hoedown Night's Tale Royalty Free
Speaker 2: music was. It made me feel like I was around
Speaker 2: a campfire with kid Rock shooting those budweisers, those budweisers,
Speaker 2: that iconography of liberal fucking cuckoo bear shit, you know,
Speaker 2: and then instantly transported to the ren Fair. For some reason,
Speaker 2: the music really threw me off. I couldn't ingest the
Speaker 2: love pat was there anything really romantic in the letter.
Speaker 1: Not absolutely. He just rambled on for quite a bit.
Speaker 1: Nothing of note here.
Speaker 2: Well it looks like it worked.
Speaker 1: Well I'll tell you how he knew it worked. It's
Speaker 1: the next morning and Adare and him meet up and
Speaker 1: they hug and she says chat later, and to quote Lloyd,
Speaker 1: so you're saying there's a chance, yeah, yeah, yeah, And
Speaker 1: apparently she is. Is she? Though she didn't say no,
Speaker 1: and she didn't run to HR although that would be
Speaker 1: a mission, that would be poor.
Speaker 2: Let's talk later is usually a fairly ominous.
Speaker 1: Well there were, they're working, but she should remind herself,
Speaker 1: this is your direct supervisor. You could He's the only
Speaker 1: one that can get you in trouble.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you could fire her.
Speaker 1: I mean we had a sea rat combo with a
Speaker 1: posa and a decky where they would literally have sex
Speaker 1: in the tender Do you remember Ross. He's the guy
Speaker 1: that reached out to us and said, can you stop
Speaker 1: talking about me please?
Speaker 2: Oh oh oh.
Speaker 1: He was having sex with that Oh yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah yeah yeah, quick little uh, little pants down
Speaker 2: just kind of you get thrown over the railing real
Speaker 2: quick on your way back to work. Can don't mind?
Speaker 1: I mean listen.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of tension, a lot of stress gets
Speaker 2: built up on these on these on these boats. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: so struggling to find words, and that means, well, that's
Speaker 2: really been the entire episode. But that means that it's
Speaker 2: time to wrap up. Okay, and we wrap with making
Speaker 2: sandwiches for this picnic and getting on our excursion to
Speaker 2: lad ink Win. Is kind of a little dude wears
Speaker 2: my car about the whole thing. He's not really looked
Speaker 2: up how long it's going to take for them to
Speaker 2: go about this adventure. He just kind of throws out
Speaker 2: of time twelve o'clock, and it looks like they're gonna
Speaker 2: be anywhere from three to seven hours late for this
Speaker 2: lunch with clotted cream, and there are flies pissing and
Speaker 2: shitting all over the food.
Speaker 1: That's right. This is what I'll say. I'll warn it
Speaker 1: any potential employers never hire someone that is just falling
Speaker 1: in love. They're going to be completely useless.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I just a love sick puppy, and love
Speaker 2: sick puppies do insane things, right. You know, we've talked
Speaker 2: about it before. I used to cry a lot when
Speaker 2: I was courting my wife. Deer walk out in the
Speaker 2: open so that drunks like my uncle Hub can shoot them.
Speaker 1: I used to leave my job and still try and
Speaker 1: do my time card like I was working that day,
Speaker 1: but I was in my car calling my ex girlfriend
Speaker 1: over and over Somna, No, this was Lebanese.
Speaker 2: Lot Okay, But I don't think any of us have
Speaker 2: ever done something as crazy as what Ween does. To
Speaker 2: close this episode, out Ween decides that he is going
Speaker 2: to make a dare a cheese plate. Now, first things first,
Speaker 2: why what's a gesture of love? No, it's not, it's
Speaker 2: it's not.
Speaker 1: Can I say something? Chakouterie boards are so twenty twenty four.
Speaker 1: No more cheese boards.
Speaker 2: We're over it.
Speaker 1: You know, we need to find a new thing.
Speaker 2: I do think they had a great run. Chacutarie boards
Speaker 2: had a good run. I'd say that Chacuterie boards were
Speaker 2: the hot, new young thing on the block probably twenty
Speaker 2: eighteen to twenty twenty four.
Speaker 1: Dyl I went to a night before the wedding thing
Speaker 1: and someone put a platter in front of me. In
Speaker 1: twenty eleven, Churi.
Speaker 2: Really Now, now, I'll not kick at Chacuturi out of bed.
Speaker 2: I mean, if we're doing it at let's say, a
Speaker 2: winery in Tuscany and they've got you know, they they're
Speaker 2: making the salami. I mean, I'm gonna cry, this is
Speaker 2: so beautiful. But if we're a Laurel tavern and they're
Speaker 2: buying Trader Joe's persudo and slapping it on a fucking
Speaker 2: piece of plybood, get out of here. But anyways, we
Speaker 2: needs a cheeseboard to profess his love to a dare
Speaker 2: and he asks the new sous chef to do it for.
Speaker 1: Him, which I'd argue it's a small boat that would
Speaker 1: get out there.
Speaker 2: Uh the how thank you for?
Speaker 4: I'm gonna say how this works with the ladies has
Speaker 4: a job like us, I teach man how to get
Speaker 4: more asked for less money. Right, you have to prepare
Speaker 4: it yourself, dear. That's how we would work, okay, because
Speaker 4: they don't want to know that you page someone to
Speaker 4: do it, someone else to buy your flowers.
Speaker 1: It's about putting you to work, dear.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and Tom's gotten a little older. You know, he
Speaker 2: was I think kicked off to restaurant radio on the
Speaker 2: early two thousands, but he's still going. He's on am.
Speaker 1: The fact that he asked her to do it instead
Speaker 1: of asking her to would she help? Yeah, that's the
Speaker 1: mistake he makes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, it's a disgusting, pig shit move. And the
Speaker 2: thing about weh In that's really fucking annoying actually is
Speaker 2: the melodrama and sensitivity that come after things.
Speaker 1: Oh he's like that. Yeah, I think he stopped short
Speaker 1: of calling her a bee work.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we got to find out how old this guy is,
Speaker 2: because if he's in his twenties, it's still disgusting. But
Speaker 2: he's definitely not. And so it's like kind of one
Speaker 2: flew over the cuckoo's nest kind of shit. He's super
Speaker 2: behaving inappropriately, getting the comments, getting the reviews. Steal from
Speaker 2: the elderly and go to Patren.
Speaker 1: Steal from the receptionist desk. There's always a purse sitting there.
Speaker 2: Okay, steal from the receptionist desk and don't get greedy. Okay, no, no,
Speaker 2: just take take If they have a butterscotch and some gum. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I take a butter scotch, take some gum. If they
Speaker 2: have those strawberry candies, leave those, Okay that those are
Speaker 2: hard to come back? All right?
Speaker 1: What some mentos? What was that it's either rain or
Speaker 1: an earthquake.
Speaker 2: I felt like an earthquake. Yeah, Jesus, great cat peppered
Speaker 2: with those things.
Speaker 1: The world's gonna end.
Speaker 2: YEP, all right, enjoy it. I'm doing. Saying goodbye, Pat,
Speaker 2: Say goodbye.
Speaker 1: Matterds distant
Speaker 2: Distin impact if the