WEBVTT

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, excursionists. It's been a little while, and I want

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<v Speaker 1>to thank you truly for sticking with me through the quiet.

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<v Speaker 1>Life has been shifting behind the scenes, and I've been

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<v Speaker 1>building towards something new. A few projects are in the works,

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<v Speaker 1>not quite ready to announce just yet, but trust me,

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<v Speaker 1>when they arrive, you'll understand why the pause was needed.

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<v Speaker 1>More than anything, I've been working on how I show

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<v Speaker 1>up here for you and for the stories that deserve

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<v Speaker 1>to be told. So here's what's changing. Into the Night

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<v Speaker 1>Anthology is moving to a seasonal format. From now through

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<v Speaker 1>the end of the year. You'll hear new episodes every

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<v Speaker 1>other Thursday, right up until our New Year's special. After that,

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<v Speaker 1>the show will take a short break, returning in March

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<v Speaker 1>for a brand new season. This new rhythm lets me

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<v Speaker 1>bring you deeper stories, better production, and a more consistent experience,

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<v Speaker 1>one you can count on without wondering when the next

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<v Speaker 1>tale will appear. So thank you again for being here.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's step back onto that twisted path together and as always,

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<v Speaker 1>take care of yourselves and each other. Are you ready?

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Endo the Night. I'm Narri your guide on

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<v Speaker 1>today's excursion down a Twisted Path. Be careful not to

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<v Speaker 1>get lost. Be it dark or light, it's easy to

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<v Speaker 1>lose your way. Are you ready, then let's begin. This

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<v Speaker 1>episode contains themes of parental emotional abuse and themes of death. Listener,

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<v Speaker 1>discretion is advised the best and brightest Ben Being a

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<v Speaker 1>third anything can be difficult, but it seemed especially dreadful

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<v Speaker 1>to Benjamin Buckley the third. Even as a toddler, the

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<v Speaker 1>unrelenting sense of disappointment he felt from his parents overshadowed

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<v Speaker 1>his every move. Benjamin Harris Buckley the second and his

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<v Speaker 1>wife Maud didn't need to verbalize their opinion of their

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<v Speaker 1>only child, although they often did. Little Ben knew he

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't the type of son they wanted, or, more specifically,

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<v Speaker 1>that they demanded. Deep in his soul, he knew the

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<v Speaker 1>caustic words only reaffirmed the sad state of his existence.

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<v Speaker 1>Why can't you be a good boy and learn your

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<v Speaker 1>alphabet from mamma? Maud Buckley squinted her eyes as she

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<v Speaker 1>stared down at her son. His eyes brimmed with tears,

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<v Speaker 1>but she paid no.

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<v Speaker 2>Mind to him.

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<v Speaker 1>Glaudius, son knows his alphabet already. It's embarrassing. Try harder.

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<v Speaker 1>These words were some of the earliest memories. Benjamin recalled

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<v Speaker 1>he was not quite two at the time that his

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<v Speaker 1>mother chided him for falling so short. The disappointments only

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<v Speaker 1>compounded over time. He knew without a doubt that he

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<v Speaker 1>was the greatest failure of his parents adult lives, and

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<v Speaker 1>the strain bore down on him from that day forward.

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<v Speaker 1>At three, piano and dance lessons began. At four, his

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<v Speaker 1>parents added tea ball, soccer, tennis, and swimming. Art lessons

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<v Speaker 1>followed soon after. Maud and her husband lamented the fact

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<v Speaker 1>that their son showed neither athletic prowess nor intellectual aptitude

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<v Speaker 1>at an early age. Nothing pained them more in the

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<v Speaker 1>idea that their only product performed so pitifully. There were,

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<v Speaker 1>after all, appearances to be upheld, and it was completely

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<v Speaker 1>unacceptable that anyone could feel superior to the Buckleys in

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<v Speaker 1>any way. Perhaps Harris, as Maud always called her husband,

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<v Speaker 1>we made a mistake having a child. He is not

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<v Speaker 1>at all what we thought he would be, seldom involved

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<v Speaker 1>in his son's upbringing. Harris nodded in agreement and encouraged

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<v Speaker 1>his wife to do what she could with what they

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<v Speaker 1>had to work with. For a child Maud, always a

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<v Speaker 1>stickler for details, devised a schedule she displayed on the

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<v Speaker 1>corkboard that hung in the wall in the foyer. Every

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<v Speaker 1>waking moment of young Ben's day was filled with one

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<v Speaker 1>activity or another. Laytime never appeared on the schedule. Ben's

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<v Speaker 1>efforts to have it added were quickly quashed. Mother, Can

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<v Speaker 1>I please play with Jimmy and the other kids in

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<v Speaker 1>the neighborhood.

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<v Speaker 2>I won't stay out.

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<v Speaker 1>Long, Benjamin, don't be ridiculous. You know you have piano

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<v Speaker 1>lessons now, but what about after that? Can I play? Then?

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<v Speaker 1>Maud wrapped her index finger on to the schedule. It's

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<v Speaker 1>three o'clock. Here at four, you have math tutoring. That's

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<v Speaker 1>nothing new. Why do you insist on arguing with me?

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<v Speaker 1>Ben opened his mouth to speak. Don't just don't, Ben,

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<v Speaker 1>The schedule cannot be changed. If you're ever going to

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<v Speaker 1>catch up with others in your life, you can't take

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<v Speaker 1>time off to play. You've already shown that you're behind.

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<v Speaker 1>Play is a waste of time. I don't care what

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<v Speaker 1>Jimmy's parents do with their son, but no six year

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<v Speaker 1>old is going to dictate to your father and me.

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<v Speaker 1>Now get to the piano. This minute, tears welled in

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<v Speaker 1>his eyes, but he did the best he could to

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<v Speaker 1>not cry in front of her. History had proven that

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<v Speaker 1>only made his mother angrier. No, it was better for

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<v Speaker 1>him to bottle his feelings up inside and remained the

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<v Speaker 1>beautiful son he so desperately tried to be. That followed

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<v Speaker 1>resulted in one failure after another. Harris, we have to

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<v Speaker 1>do something about Benjamin. What will others say if he

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<v Speaker 1>continues to be so defective? Her husband furrowed his brow

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<v Speaker 1>as he considered her question. I may know of a solution, Maud.

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<v Speaker 1>Let me talk to a few people I know at

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<v Speaker 1>the university. There may be a program we can enroll

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<v Speaker 1>him in there that will help. It's cutting edge, but

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<v Speaker 1>I think I can pull some strings to get Benjamin

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<v Speaker 1>in hutting edge. I like the sound of that. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>do whatever you can to enroll him in the program

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<v Speaker 1>before we are embarrassed any further. I swear I caught

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<v Speaker 1>Monica and Luen saying it's a shame our son isn't

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<v Speaker 1>up to paw. A tear formed in the corner of

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<v Speaker 1>her eye.

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<v Speaker 2>There there dear, no need to cry.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll talk with my colleagues tomorrow, I promise we can

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<v Speaker 1>fix Benjamin. It's not too late. Harris pulled her close

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<v Speaker 1>to him and held her. Fixing their son was exactly

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<v Speaker 1>what Maud wanted. What Maud Buckley wanted she usually got.

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<v Speaker 1>Harris returned home from work the next day to tell

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<v Speaker 1>her the exciting news. I spoke with doctor Bremerman. He

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<v Speaker 1>said he'd be thrilled to include Benjamin in his program.

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<v Speaker 1>There's paperwork we need to fill out, but he's optimistic

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<v Speaker 1>this will help him. His wife's eyes sparkled for the

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<v Speaker 1>first time in months when discussing Benjamin. He'd prove to

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<v Speaker 1>be more of a burden than a blessing, and Maud

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<v Speaker 1>openly admitted that she'd felt she'd lost the child lottery. Harris,

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<v Speaker 1>this is the best news I've heard in years. Thank

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<v Speaker 1>you for giving Benjamin a chance to not be a disappointment.

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<v Speaker 1>I know how this has troubled you, Maudie. I'd do

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<v Speaker 1>anything for you. In the coming weeks, Ben's parents shuttled

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<v Speaker 1>him back and forth to one doctor at the university

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<v Speaker 1>after another. Mother, I don't feel sick. Why am I

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<v Speaker 1>at the doctor? Don't question me. Benjamin. You may not

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<v Speaker 1>feel ill, but you are not well at all. You

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<v Speaker 1>need to do what.

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<v Speaker 2>Your father and I tell you to do.

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<v Speaker 1>Still confused, Ben watched the passing sights out of the

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<v Speaker 1>car window. He didn't like these doctors his parents dragged

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<v Speaker 1>him to, but he knew it did him no good

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<v Speaker 1>to tell his mother that his father wasn't around enough

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<v Speaker 1>for him to tell. But Ben knew if he could

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<v Speaker 1>tell Benjamin Buckley the second how he felt, it wouldn't matter.

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<v Speaker 1>Maud the Mighty ruled Supreme weeks filled with brain scans

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<v Speaker 1>and sleep studies followed by surgeries. Physically, Ben felt miserable,

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<v Speaker 1>but the treatments worked in his mother's estimation. With every

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<v Speaker 1>new step and every procedure, Ben's IQ grew, with more

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<v Speaker 1>abilities gained came something he'd never had before, his mother's

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<v Speaker 1>love and approval. For the first time in his life,

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<v Speaker 1>she had pride in her eyes when she looked at him. Intellectually,

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<v Speaker 1>he knew this was an improvement. His emotions, however, weren't

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<v Speaker 1>affected to the degree they should have been, and this

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<v Speaker 1>made Ben wonder, why shouldn't I be happier now.

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<v Speaker 2>That mother isn't embarrassed by me? Why can't I enjoy

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<v Speaker 2>the love she's showing me now?

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<v Speaker 1>Ben didn't have the answer to those questions. He didn't

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<v Speaker 1>let his mother know his emotions were unmoved by her

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<v Speaker 1>sudden increase in affections. He smiled, played the dutiful son,

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<v Speaker 1>and acknowledged her interest in him. He noticed other changes

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<v Speaker 1>in his emotional health as well. While his academic success

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<v Speaker 1>was undeniable, the higher his IQ rose, the less he

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<v Speaker 1>wanted to socialize with others. I remember begging my parents

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<v Speaker 1>to let me play with other children in the neighborhood.

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<v Speaker 1>I cried and pouted because they invariably said no. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know why, but now that I'm older, I don't

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<v Speaker 1>care to be around other children. I'm perfectly content with

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<v Speaker 1>my books. Maybe I'm simply growing up. Ben shrugged off

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<v Speaker 1>his indifference about friends, and his parents never noticed. So

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<v Speaker 1>enraptured were they in his growing intellect that they scarcely

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<v Speaker 1>cared about his social and emotional well being. He's going

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<v Speaker 1>to do great things now, Harris Maud beamed at her

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<v Speaker 1>reflection in the mirror as she readied herself for the

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<v Speaker 1>dinner party that evening. Now we are the envy of

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<v Speaker 1>the other parents, and it's lovely, isn't it. Harris put

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<v Speaker 1>his arms around her and looked into the mirror with

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<v Speaker 1>her Yes, Dear, it certainly is time that we had

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<v Speaker 1>something to brag about. I know that the doctors have

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<v Speaker 1>helped to a degree, but I truly believe that Benjamin's

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<v Speaker 1>natural abilities are finally coming out. He was a late

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<v Speaker 1>bloomer and undoubtedly would have eventually come around. I couldn't

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<v Speaker 1>agree more. I'm sure he would have done just fine

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<v Speaker 1>without the doctor's but I believe they sped up the process.

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<v Speaker 1>I can hardly wait to compare our scores to the

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<v Speaker 1>other children's. Over dinner, Harris smiled. He too was now

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<v Speaker 1>proud of his son, but he was especially pleased with

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<v Speaker 1>his wife's improved humor. Maud referred to any of Benjamin's

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<v Speaker 1>achievements as out successes. She wasn't about to be left

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<v Speaker 1>out of the limelight he now garnered among their peers.

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<v Speaker 1>She had, after all, been a driving force in his improvements.

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<v Speaker 1>While Harris contacted the medical team, it was she who

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<v Speaker 1>demanded that something be done to help their son, so

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<v Speaker 1>she considered herself an equal part in his new found accomplishments.

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<v Speaker 1>Every Tuesday, Maud took their son to the university, where

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<v Speaker 1>he met with the medical team. While pleased with her

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<v Speaker 1>son's improvements, Maud often appeared bored and impatient while dropping

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<v Speaker 1>Benjamin off or picking him up. The medical professionals, among

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<v Speaker 1>themselves worried that the Buckleys may not be vested emotionally

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<v Speaker 1>in the study. Doctor Bremerman, what do we do if

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<v Speaker 1>the Buckleys choose to remove Benjamin from the study. He's

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<v Speaker 1>too valuable to lose. The following Tuesday, doctor Bremerman broached

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<v Speaker 1>the subject with the Buckleys and implored them to continue

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<v Speaker 1>the appointments. I can assure you that his gains will

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<v Speaker 1>be thwarted if we do not continue.

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<v Speaker 2>He's made oh.

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<v Speaker 1>Much progress that it would be a shame to lose

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<v Speaker 1>ground at this point. It's vital to his success that

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<v Speaker 1>Benjamin continues in our program. Maud may have deluded herself

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<v Speaker 1>over her role in her son's development, but she was

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<v Speaker 1>a realist. Of course, doctor Bremerman, we wouldn't dream of

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<v Speaker 1>ending Benjamin's treatments. The man let out a sigh of

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<v Speaker 1>relief and ran his fingers through his gray hair. The

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<v Speaker 1>team will be very happy to hear that Benjamin is

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<v Speaker 1>making such progress. It's important that we see this through

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<v Speaker 1>Harris spoke up. Of course, we want Benjamin to reach

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<v Speaker 1>his full potential. We're pleased with the improvements we've seen

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<v Speaker 1>in the past year. Lee's continue helping him for the

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<v Speaker 1>next several years. Benjamin Buckley the Third spent countless days

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<v Speaker 1>either in the hospital or being observed by members of

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<v Speaker 1>the university team. At first, he didn't understand what was

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<v Speaker 1>happening to him.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not even sure mother and father know what being

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<v Speaker 2>done to me. What's all this about.

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<v Speaker 1>Eventually, however, Ben became self aware, and he even surprised

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<v Speaker 1>the doctors who cared for him with his level of

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<v Speaker 1>understanding of the project. Doctor Bremerman, now a man in

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<v Speaker 1>his seventies, felt a sense of paternal protection for the

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<v Speaker 1>subject of his long term study. While his parents barely

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<v Speaker 1>noticed Benjamin's social Withtrawal, it troubled doctor Bremerman. Ben, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>worried about you. You seem sad, Thank you, Doctor Bremerman.

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<v Speaker 1>But I don't think what I feel is sadness. Instead,

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<v Speaker 1>it's isolation that bothers me. I can't relate to other people.

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<v Speaker 1>Give me any mathematical formula and I'll solve it. Ask

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<v Speaker 1>me to tell you information about a thousand random topics,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'll do it quickly and accurately. I'm missing something though,

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<v Speaker 1>missing something. Yes, I'm big here pointed to his head.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm small here he pointed to his heart. I understand theories.

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<v Speaker 1>I can calculate problems, but I can't relate to other people.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't belong and I worry that I lack empathy.

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<v Speaker 1>I can see where that would trouble you. Think of

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<v Speaker 1>all the amazing advancements you've made in science with your abilities.

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<v Speaker 1>Though a sense of satisfaction should come with that, right,

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<v Speaker 1>Benjamin's shoulders slumped.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, I suppose so. Thank you for talking with me, doctor.

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<v Speaker 1>After the elderly man left the room, Benjamin's sighed, I don't.

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<v Speaker 2>Think he understands. How could he? How can he?

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<v Speaker 1>Benjamin's success in the world of science and business was undeniable.

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<v Speaker 1>At night, however, when he no longer had to smile

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<v Speaker 1>and pretend to be social, he sat alone on his

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<v Speaker 1>couch and contemplated the emptiness he felt inside. Amount of

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<v Speaker 1>knowledge replaces what I'm missing.

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<v Speaker 2>In fact, the more I learn, the more empty I feel.

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<v Speaker 1>Years passed, and in time the people who surrounded Benjamin

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<v Speaker 1>became ill or died. His mother's demise was most distressing

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<v Speaker 1>in her older years, when she lost her beauty and

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<v Speaker 1>need for appearances, she underwent a humbling of spirit. Instead

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<v Speaker 1>of caring about social standing or what others thought of her,

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<v Speaker 1>she now realized what she needed in her life was

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<v Speaker 1>the love of her family. She wanted genuine emotion, and

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<v Speaker 1>with her husband long deceased, she turned to Benjamin for

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<v Speaker 1>the love she craved. As her time drew near, Benjamin

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<v Speaker 1>sat stiffly next to his mother's hospital bed. She reached

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<v Speaker 1>out and held his hand, but he did barely more

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<v Speaker 1>than briefly squeeze her hand. In response, Anny, I know

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<v Speaker 1>I wasn't the best mother in the world to you,

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<v Speaker 1>but your father and I have loved you. Won't you

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<v Speaker 1>show me any sign that you loved me back? He

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<v Speaker 1>stared blankly into her eyes.

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<v Speaker 2>I wish I could. Mother. You made me this way.

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<v Speaker 1>You got what you wanted. What do you mean, Ben,

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<v Speaker 1>I've only ever wanted the best for you. No, you

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<v Speaker 1>wanted me to make you look good. Do you think

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<v Speaker 1>I don't remember when you were embarrassed by me, when

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<v Speaker 1>simply being myself wasn't good enough for you. A tear

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<v Speaker 1>trickled down the corner of maud Buckley's eye. Please, Benny,

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<v Speaker 1>he stopped her. No, mother, you did this, he pointed

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<v Speaker 1>at himself. Do you think I don't know what you

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<v Speaker 1>did to me, what the doctors at the university did

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<v Speaker 1>to me. I'm not a simpleton. No, I'm the genius

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<v Speaker 1>you demanded I become, and you didn't care what lengths

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<v Speaker 1>it took to turn me into one. You created a genius,

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<v Speaker 1>but you destroyed me as a person. Benny, we only

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<v Speaker 1>wanted what was best for you. No, you wanted what

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<v Speaker 1>was best for you. The doctors of the clinic wanted

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<v Speaker 1>to make history. No one cared about Benjamin Harris Buckley

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<v Speaker 1>the Third, no one. Now he's gone, and you are

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<v Speaker 1>left with nothing but what you asked for. Porely somewhere

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<v Speaker 1>inside you is love for your poor dying mother. After

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<v Speaker 1>all I've done for you, all you've done for me.

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<v Speaker 1>When you sent me to that clinic of torture, you

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<v Speaker 1>gave them permission to implant a neurlink into my brain.

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<v Speaker 1>You killed me. I can't give you the love you

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<v Speaker 1>ask for, mother. It's not that I won't, I can't.

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<v Speaker 1>Long ago I realized what a monster you turned me

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<v Speaker 1>into I'm not half man and half computer. I've lost

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<v Speaker 1>what made me a man altogether. He rose from his

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<v Speaker 1>seat next to her and walked to the window. Don't

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<v Speaker 1>talk like that, Benjamin. Your father and I tried our best.

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<v Speaker 1>The Doctor's truly cared for you too. I was used

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<v Speaker 1>as a prototype, nothing more. Thanks to you and the

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<v Speaker 1>mad scientists in that clinic, you've unleashed the undoing of

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<v Speaker 1>mankind as it was. No more emotions, only cold understanding.

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<v Speaker 1>The neurlink is more powerful than humanity. Mother, you helped

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<v Speaker 1>create the end of humanity. Benjamin, Please don't say these things.

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<v Speaker 1>Not now. I'm dying. I need you. He turned and

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<v Speaker 1>smiled a cold smile at her. Of course you still

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<v Speaker 1>only care about you now, of all times, it's still

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<v Speaker 1>about you.

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<v Speaker 2>Don't worry though.

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<v Speaker 1>When I'm gone, others will do the bidding of the

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<v Speaker 1>monstrous wheels now set in motion.

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<v Speaker 2>I was the guinea pig. I not need it anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>Maud Buckley reached her hand out to him, but he

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<v Speaker 1>ignored her.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a lovely view. From here. I can see exactly.

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<v Speaker 1>Twelve point eighty six miles. It will take exactly four

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<v Speaker 1>point two seconds for impact. I've lived to provide you

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<v Speaker 1>what you wanted, a son you could be proud of.

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<v Speaker 1>I became your winning ticket in the child lottery you

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<v Speaker 1>so desperately sought. Now you're dying and I am free

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<v Speaker 1>from that burden. It's time to stop this madness. You've

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<v Speaker 1>had your best and brightest ben for long enough. Goodbye, mother,

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<v Speaker 1>No Benny, don't he ignored her. Please opened the window

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<v Speaker 1>and plunged to his death. His last thoughts brief as

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<v Speaker 1>they were, celebrated the closest feeling to emotion he'd had

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<v Speaker 1>in years, and it was the sweet sensation of freedom.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you for joining me for this episode of the

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<v Speaker 1>Into the Night Anthology podcast. Written by Caroline Giamanco, narrated

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<v Speaker 1>by Nari Quack. Theme music by Nico Rodriguez, all other

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<v Speaker 1>original music, sound design and editing by Omenhawk Studios. You

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<v Speaker 1>can find our links in the show notes. Into the

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<v Speaker 1>Night is on your favorite podcatcher, so make sure to like,

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<v Speaker 1>subscribe and leave a five star review to help other

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<v Speaker 1>excursionists to join us. I'll see you next time, and remember,

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<v Speaker 1>whether in the shadows or in the daylight, all twisted

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<v Speaker 1>paths lead you into the night. Into the night, Anthology

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<v Speaker 1>is a creative TYPO entertainment production