1
00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:12,439
Speaker 1: Good morning from Hell. I'm Chris, and I died recently

2
00:00:12,519 --> 00:00:15,679
and my eternal punishment is to do this podcast where

3
00:00:15,679 --> 00:00:19,359
I interview everyone in the underworld with my co host,

4
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:23,120
who is running for president of Hell against his older

5
00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:29,640
brother Satan Clayton. H Clayton Clayton is what are you doing?

6
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,759
Speaker 2: Shadow boxing? Chris shadow boxing? I'm getting ready.

7
00:00:32,759 --> 00:00:36,399
Speaker 1: I'm getting ready, Chris, getting ready for what the show?

8
00:00:36,439 --> 00:00:40,240
Speaker 2: Getting ready for the debate next week. Okay, I'm out

9
00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:43,479
of breath. I'm actually light aheaded right now. Okay, So

10
00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:45,000
I got a debate next week. It's gonna be for

11
00:00:45,039 --> 00:00:46,920
the primaries, all right, for the Hell elections.

12
00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:47,520
Speaker 1: Uh huh.

13
00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:49,759
Speaker 2: And you know I'm getting ready. I'm I'm, you know,

14
00:00:49,799 --> 00:00:52,960
practicing my form in case things get physical. I'm hitting

15
00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:56,159
the I'm hitting the books literally, I've been punching books

16
00:00:56,159 --> 00:00:56,560
over there.

17
00:00:57,039 --> 00:00:57,880
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I see that.

18
00:00:58,320 --> 00:00:59,920
Speaker 2: I see a stack of books. I fucked him up,

19
00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:02,240
therefore stole their knowledge from them.

20
00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:05,200
Speaker 1: I guess I can't say unequivocally that you won.

21
00:01:05,719 --> 00:01:08,319
Speaker 2: Yeah. No, no, I kicked its task. Also, my neck

22
00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,480
hurts really bad. Is it true they say that if

23
00:01:10,519 --> 00:01:13,400
you sleep on a book, you absorb the knowledge like

24
00:01:13,439 --> 00:01:15,920
it just kind of permeates your skull. That's a thing.

25
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,680
Speaker 1: Right, Well, what book did you sleep on?

26
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,640
Speaker 2: Oh? You know the one, Chris. It's got all the

27
00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:22,359
words in it. You know, it's that that.

28
00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:25,120
Speaker 1: Book, the book with all the words in it. Like

29
00:01:25,159 --> 00:01:25,599
what you.

30
00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:28,280
Speaker 2: Open it up and there's words and then you you

31
00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,799
it like it describes like what the words are like it,

32
00:01:31,879 --> 00:01:32,280
you know, it.

33
00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:34,200
Speaker 1: Tells you what the ad dictionary.

34
00:01:34,359 --> 00:01:37,200
Speaker 2: That's a thank you? Oh my gosh. Yeah? Does that work?

35
00:01:37,239 --> 00:01:39,000
Do I absorb like all the knowledge from that book?

36
00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:39,959
That's the thing, right?

37
00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:43,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's okay, correct, cool, that's totally working.

38
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:43,680
Speaker 3: All right?

39
00:01:43,719 --> 00:01:44,000
Speaker 1: Sweet?

40
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,560
Speaker 2: All right, well, hey, let's get in a Q and

41
00:01:45,599 --> 00:01:48,040
a man. I can prep for the debate later. I

42
00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:50,599
already know I'm gonna win. I'm a feeling feeling good.

43
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:54,280
Speaker 1: Okay. We got a question here from Twitter from Patrick

44
00:01:54,439 --> 00:01:57,159
at rooriney ten twenty nine.

45
00:01:57,359 --> 00:01:59,159
Speaker 2: You just butchered his last name. I'm sure he's very

46
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:01,159
happy about that. Go on, what's up river your rainy?

47
00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:04,319
Speaker 1: H He wants to know what is water cooler talk

48
00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:04,840
like in hell?

49
00:02:05,159 --> 00:02:05,519
Speaker 2: Oh?

50
00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:05,840
Speaker 3: Hm?

51
00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:07,920
Speaker 2: Well, you know it's kind of like up on Earth,

52
00:02:08,039 --> 00:02:10,719
it's you know, punishment. It's awful I mean there's a

53
00:02:10,719 --> 00:02:14,759
few differences. Like our water is it's always boiling, so

54
00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:16,599
you know, if you ever happen to like rest your

55
00:02:16,599 --> 00:02:19,240
elbow on the water cooler, you know, oh you burn,

56
00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:20,120
you burn your elbow.

57
00:02:20,319 --> 00:02:20,520
Speaker 3: You know.

58
00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:25,240
Speaker 2: We talk about just the stupidest, most boring shit imaginable.

59
00:02:25,319 --> 00:02:28,360
I mean again, it's not too disimilar from Earth, I imagine.

60
00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:30,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like there's always someone there who wants to

61
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:32,560
tell you about his mortgage rates.

62
00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:35,400
Speaker 2: That and then and then they just started watching a

63
00:02:35,479 --> 00:02:39,840
series from like eight years ago. Let's talk about Breaking Bad. Yeah,

64
00:02:40,039 --> 00:02:42,039
how about that finale? And then you're like the series

65
00:02:42,039 --> 00:02:44,960
finale and you're like no, no, like season three, Yeah yeah,

66
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:48,159
what you know, you drink the boiling water. So oftentimes

67
00:02:48,159 --> 00:02:48,719
it'll be like.

68
00:02:51,159 --> 00:02:52,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, So a lot of times the talk is more

69
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:57,520
just like uh yeah, because everyone's just their tongues are burned.

70
00:02:57,599 --> 00:03:00,919
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, but not you. I give you warm

71
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:04,719
milk so I can smooth out those dulcet little tones

72
00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:07,159
of your your voice. I needed nice and crisp for

73
00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:08,000
this podcast.

74
00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:10,159
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wish I got the warm milk in a

75
00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:12,159
method other than the one you give me.

76
00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:15,639
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, you put the crisp in crisp.

77
00:03:16,199 --> 00:03:21,400
Speaker 1: Yeah. So another question here from Twitter user Tyler krause

78
00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:25,360
hashtag black Lives Matter. He asks, Uh, so, I have

79
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:29,400
been a long supporter of Satanism. What can Claytonism offer

80
00:03:29,479 --> 00:03:31,159
me that may convince me to switch over?

81
00:03:31,439 --> 00:03:33,599
Speaker 2: Ooh, you know, we got we got a lot of

82
00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:36,639
things going on over here. You know, when I made Claytonism,

83
00:03:36,639 --> 00:03:38,879
I decided I wanted it to be like one of

84
00:03:38,879 --> 00:03:42,479
those really cool online services, you know, So we kind

85
00:03:42,479 --> 00:03:44,560
of have like a loot crate system first of all,

86
00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:46,719
like when you join, you got to pay, you know,

87
00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:50,319
a small price of sixty six dollars and sixty six cents.

88
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,479
But once every three months, you get a loot crate,

89
00:03:53,919 --> 00:03:55,639
or as I like to call it, a suit crate,

90
00:03:56,800 --> 00:04:00,759
you know, like like suit you know, suit like suit

91
00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:04,000
like so t what moving on?

92
00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:04,639
Speaker 3: H yeah?

93
00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:08,800
Speaker 1: You soot like soot like like burned ash like there

94
00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:11,879
he is there he is yeah, yeah, And uh you know,

95
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,319
you get the soup crate and it's got all sorts

96
00:04:14,319 --> 00:04:14,919
of goodies in it.

97
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:18,079
Speaker 2: You get about eighteen Hail Clayton t shirts and it

98
00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:20,120
will get you. It will have mugs in there too,

99
00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:21,120
if they're not sold.

100
00:04:20,839 --> 00:04:25,160
Speaker 1: Out anything else. That's the only advantage.

101
00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:28,480
Speaker 2: You know, there's lots of good discounts. You know, the

102
00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:31,839
people that helped us, you know, set up souit crate

103
00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:33,759
also helped us with their day. They work on like

104
00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:35,680
Triple A, so you know you can get like a

105
00:04:35,759 --> 00:04:37,439
like a kind of like a triple A discount. You

106
00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:41,199
get point six percent off of every purchase Wow, yeah huge,

107
00:04:41,199 --> 00:04:44,920
say yea of purchase of what primarily porn?

108
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:46,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, porn.

109
00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:49,600
Speaker 2: And you know, from what I hear, people are buying porn.

110
00:04:49,759 --> 00:04:51,879
You know, the DVDs and the vhs is. People are

111
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,240
still buying those because you can't get them anywhere else.

112
00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:56,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, there's exclusive even Beta max.

113
00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:59,079
Speaker 2: They have Beta Max porn. You can also get discounts

114
00:04:59,079 --> 00:05:01,399
on repair parts for a dishwashers, so.

115
00:05:01,959 --> 00:05:03,680
Speaker 1: You know what why dishwashers?

116
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,480
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't I don't know.

117
00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:06,560
Speaker 1: Is there anything else?

118
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:07,319
Speaker 3: You get?

119
00:05:07,319 --> 00:05:10,399
Speaker 2: The Senior Citizen discount of loubies. That's something else you get.

120
00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:15,079
Really Oh yeah, I guess that's good. Who doesn't love lubies?

121
00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:16,000
Speaker 3: How do I do?

122
00:05:16,079 --> 00:05:18,680
Speaker 1: Well? I love them? Well, that sounds like I mean,

123
00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:20,879
there you go, they have it. Vote for Clayton.

124
00:05:21,079 --> 00:05:22,759
Speaker 2: I mean, I think all of these things that you

125
00:05:22,759 --> 00:05:23,120
can get.

126
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:27,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's amazing. Okay. Last question, this is from Internet

127
00:05:27,759 --> 00:05:30,879
Nobody six on Twitter. They asked, how does our recording

128
00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:32,360
equipment not burn in Hell?

129
00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:36,000
Speaker 2: Well, first of all, Internet nobody, you are an Internet somebody.

130
00:05:36,079 --> 00:05:38,800
Okay to me, you're important. Thank you for your vote

131
00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:41,800
in advance. All right, to answer your question. You know,

132
00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:43,519
it is very hot down here in Hell, as we

133
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,920
mentioned with the water cooler boiling water, you know, and

134
00:05:45,959 --> 00:05:49,680
it's hard for recording equipment not to overheat. So you

135
00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:51,680
know what we do is we have a We've implemented

136
00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:54,759
a system of cooling. Basically, we have a we have

137
00:05:54,959 --> 00:05:58,519
hundreds of hamsters put into these little spinning wheels and

138
00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:00,839
then they run and then and then they make fan

139
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:06,000
like airs, blows circuits, circuits scorn cold, and then hamsters eat,

140
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:12,959
and then hamsters run and then power good and equipment cool. Yeah,

141
00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:14,680
eloquently put, I know, yes.

142
00:06:14,639 --> 00:06:17,120
Speaker 1: It's all just hamsters, little hamsters running in the It's

143
00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:17,319
all right.

144
00:06:17,399 --> 00:06:17,560
Speaker 3: Let me.

145
00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:19,279
Speaker 2: Actually, I'm gonna move my microphone so you can take

146
00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:23,279
a listen here you go, hold on, yeah, yeah, hear that.

147
00:06:23,439 --> 00:06:26,480
Here them in they're squeaking, dying little things.

148
00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:27,279
Speaker 3: Yeah.

149
00:06:27,319 --> 00:06:29,879
Speaker 1: Sometimes when everyone dies, they just end up flopping around

150
00:06:29,959 --> 00:06:32,879
in the tubes with the others. It's pretty pretty sad.

151
00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:34,800
I have to clean. I'm in charge of the hamster mate,

152
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:35,399
and it's just.

153
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, Chris. And sometimes they catch you eat

154
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:39,759
in the hamsters, which makes it even more sad.

155
00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:40,560
Speaker 3: You know.

156
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,839
Speaker 2: I'll be like, what, Chris, what's in your mouth? What's

157
00:06:43,879 --> 00:06:46,040
in your mouth? Spit it out, and then it's a

158
00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:46,959
little hamster corpse.

159
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:49,720
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, it's the only food that I have access to,

160
00:06:49,759 --> 00:06:51,480
and I only eat the dead ones. They're already dead. Okay,

161
00:06:51,519 --> 00:06:53,800
I'm not killing hamsters. Okay, I just want to put

162
00:06:53,839 --> 00:06:57,560
that on the record. Uh okay, So who is our

163
00:06:57,639 --> 00:06:58,720
guest for this week?

164
00:06:59,079 --> 00:07:01,279
Speaker 2: Well, Chris. As you know, I am running for the

165
00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:04,720
presidency of Hell against my brother and we're really gearing

166
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,839
up the campaign. It's coming up soon. Primaries are next week.

167
00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:10,680
But you know, in order to get to the top,

168
00:07:10,759 --> 00:07:13,199
you know, you got to start down in the local government,

169
00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:15,319
all right, you got to start like a poison ivy

170
00:07:15,399 --> 00:07:18,079
roots campaign. Okay. So I've been dealing a lot with

171
00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:19,800
the local government, and you know, I've been taking a

172
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:22,439
lot of hard stances on the issues that matter, okay,

173
00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:25,439
And one of the biggest things is is people are

174
00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:29,680
really against jerry mandering. It a huge hot topic, jerry mandering.

175
00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:34,519
So yeah, I actually am for jerry mandering. Oh so anyways,

176
00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:37,480
you know, here to talk on the subject is local

177
00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:39,680
city councilman jerry mandering.

178
00:07:40,839 --> 00:07:44,319
Speaker 3: Hey guys, Hey, hey Jerry. Oh I'm just happy to

179
00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:44,720
be here.

180
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:47,480
Speaker 1: So your name is jerry Mandering.

181
00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:50,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's my my satan given name.

182
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:54,399
Speaker 1: Yes, okay, is this any relation to jerry mandering, like

183
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:56,759
the political actors? Just just of course.

184
00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,839
Speaker 3: I mean, so the thing you'll find out is actually

185
00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:01,319
a lot of things that you love up on Earth

186
00:08:01,399 --> 00:08:05,639
we're invented here in Hell, including the namesake based off me,

187
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:06,800
jerry Mandering.

188
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,519
Speaker 1: You were named after jerry Mandering.

189
00:08:08,839 --> 00:08:10,600
Speaker 3: No, jerry Mandering was named after me.

190
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:11,680
Speaker 1: I invented it.

191
00:08:11,879 --> 00:08:14,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, you know it's like, you know how like

192
00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:17,319
they call uh some toilets the John because it was,

193
00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:20,439
you know, invented by a guy named John. Jerry Mandering

194
00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:21,519
invented jerry mandering.

195
00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:22,399
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah.

196
00:08:22,439 --> 00:08:24,800
Speaker 3: Because the years everyone was just they had a king

197
00:08:24,959 --> 00:08:26,480
or a queen, and I said, hey, what if we

198
00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:28,800
give people some hope. What if we let them think

199
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,959
that they have some kind of control over their life

200
00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,159
and then we rob it from them, Because really, the

201
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:35,440
ultimate type of torture is giving people hope and then

202
00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:38,919
crushing them under the weight of that hope. And that's

203
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:41,840
what really motivates me to do all the things that

204
00:08:41,919 --> 00:08:43,360
I do in my career.

205
00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:46,840
Speaker 1: Okay, well, I mean you've made a huge impact I think,

206
00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:49,120
both in Hell and you know, up on Earth. So

207
00:08:49,919 --> 00:08:50,879
I guess congrats.

208
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:53,519
Speaker 3: Yeah, but not everybody likes it. I gotta be honest,

209
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:54,960
you know, there are a lot of haters out there.

210
00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:58,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I understand. I mean, Jerry Mannering's pretty messed up.

211
00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:00,639
So no jerry mandering sitting right next to you, no, no, no,

212
00:09:00,679 --> 00:09:02,960
you seem okay, But yeah the act, I think you

213
00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:04,960
did a really good job making something awful.

214
00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:07,759
Speaker 2: Jerry, talk us through, like, how did you get elected

215
00:09:07,799 --> 00:09:10,240
to city council? You know, tell us your story, you know,

216
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:12,399
how you got involved in local politics.

217
00:09:12,679 --> 00:09:14,559
Speaker 3: Sure, but let me first tell you that the people

218
00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:16,639
out there who you know, are angry with me and

219
00:09:16,679 --> 00:09:20,039
other city council members. They just want to complain because

220
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:21,840
they look around Hell and all they see is the

221
00:09:21,879 --> 00:09:24,799
good stuff. They don't see the truly awful things that

222
00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:28,600
me and my staff spend countless hours doing to our community.

223
00:09:28,799 --> 00:09:31,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's got the public in mind, you know, easier

224
00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:31,519
to help.

225
00:09:31,639 --> 00:09:33,960
Speaker 3: But I was just a normal demon like the rest

226
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,480
of you guys. And then I saw a torture pit

227
00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:39,799
being built near my tribe, and I thought, that's terrible.

228
00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:42,120
It's just people are going to be tortured there all day,

229
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:44,480
Like when are me and my neighbors are gonna have

230
00:09:44,559 --> 00:09:47,600
time to go to it and throw children into the pit.

231
00:09:47,799 --> 00:09:50,519
Speaker 1: They were taking a pit that you threw children, and

232
00:09:50,519 --> 00:09:52,559
then they were trying to what I guess.

233
00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:55,639
Speaker 3: They were trying to convert it into, you know, one

234
00:09:55,639 --> 00:09:58,879
of those traditional mass torture pits. And it's like, this

235
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:02,120
is just a small communit. Yeah, this pit is for

236
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:06,679
throwing small children into for the demons that live in

237
00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:11,000
this area. So I ran on a platform to change that.

238
00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:14,559
When I was elected, they still built the pit, but

239
00:10:14,799 --> 00:10:19,320
for two hours from two a m To four a m.

240
00:10:19,639 --> 00:10:22,399
There will be no torture, and all demons will be

241
00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:25,960
able to throw as many babies into the pit as

242
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:27,360
they want.

243
00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,080
Speaker 2: That's a pretty good compromise.

244
00:10:29,279 --> 00:10:31,279
Speaker 3: You know, I think that's the name of the game,

245
00:10:31,399 --> 00:10:33,519
is compromise, because you know, at the end of the day,

246
00:10:33,879 --> 00:10:36,600
we got to find a place to torture these people, right.

247
00:10:36,519 --> 00:10:40,080
Speaker 1: Yea, right, whether they be babies or otherwise.

248
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I'm a pragmatist, I get it, you know.

249
00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:45,679
But I just give us some time, some access to

250
00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:48,320
the pit. I think that's the least, you know, the

251
00:10:48,399 --> 00:10:49,039
least we could do.

252
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:51,159
Speaker 2: Plus, I mean you also wanted to preserve, you know,

253
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:54,960
its historical value. I mean that was that was a tradition,

254
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:58,000
you know, like that classic child throwing pit. You know,

255
00:10:58,200 --> 00:10:59,480
you can't lose touch with that.

256
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:02,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, because like I mean, not just me, but like

257
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:06,240
you know, everyone I see like remembers when they were

258
00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:09,919
young and their demon father took them and they threw

259
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:15,159
their first baby into the pit. It means something. Yeah,

260
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:19,039
And I don't want to rob future generations of baby

261
00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:20,720
throwing in pits.

262
00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:24,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, we need that. Yeah, you gotta take a strong

263
00:11:24,799 --> 00:11:27,879
stance on these things. And you know, so I guess

264
00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:30,679
I'm a little confused. So there's Hell, which is like

265
00:11:30,799 --> 00:11:35,240
the entire underworld. Right, then there's also Hell City, which

266
00:11:35,279 --> 00:11:37,519
is just like the capital of Hell. Is that how

267
00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:38,000
it works.

268
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,919
Speaker 3: Yeah, so Hell City, and that's kind of what we

269
00:11:41,039 --> 00:11:45,600
have total control over. It allows us to enact necessary

270
00:11:45,759 --> 00:11:50,320
zoning regulations. For instance, when I came on board, we

271
00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:53,120
made sure to put a landfill on every block, so

272
00:11:53,159 --> 00:11:56,320
when you exit your hot you can smell the rotting

273
00:11:56,399 --> 00:12:00,879
carcass and trash of all your neighbors. Yeah, every neighborhood

274
00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:03,919
gets a coal plant. And that's a promise from me

275
00:12:04,039 --> 00:12:08,080
and my campaign because we know kids love coal, right, Yeah.

276
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:10,080
Speaker 2: They think about the air too, the air that we're

277
00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:13,320
breathing in every day. We don't want this crisp, clean,

278
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,840
clear air. I want smog in.

279
00:12:15,799 --> 00:12:18,559
Speaker 3: My life, all right, Yeah, yeah, yeah, you have a

280
00:12:18,639 --> 00:12:19,559
right to smog.

281
00:12:19,879 --> 00:12:21,799
Speaker 1: Well it's good because it's like there's certain things you

282
00:12:21,799 --> 00:12:24,080
don't want to look at and you and with smoggy

283
00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:26,360
of the ability to not look at them, you know.

284
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:29,440
But with clean air, it's like you just see right

285
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:32,600
through everything and you see your miles. Yeah, it's like,

286
00:12:32,639 --> 00:12:33,320
who wants that?

287
00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:35,200
Speaker 2: Well. Another good thing about this coal plants is you

288
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:38,879
know you got those giant chimneys just shooting black smoke

289
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:41,480
up into the air, just just pouring out all sorts

290
00:12:41,519 --> 00:12:43,039
of chemicals and it's beautiful.

291
00:12:43,159 --> 00:12:43,320
Speaker 3: You know.

292
00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:45,679
Speaker 2: It's like they put these cold plants and they're producing

293
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:47,519
all that stuff. But it's also it's like it's like

294
00:12:47,519 --> 00:12:49,159
a it's like a landmark, you know.

295
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:51,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, Honestly, it brings a tear to your eye. And

296
00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:53,720
I mean that literally because it's the smog like it

297
00:12:53,879 --> 00:12:56,519
just it just attacks your lungs and your your your

298
00:12:56,519 --> 00:12:59,120
tear ducks and really just you know, makes you kind

299
00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:00,879
of weep. Yeah, And I'm proud of that.

300
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:01,279
Speaker 1: Yeah.

301
00:13:01,279 --> 00:13:03,519
Speaker 3: And we want to make sure that everything's built a spec.

302
00:13:03,639 --> 00:13:06,240
So you want to put a torture shack in your backyard,

303
00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:08,440
then you better get a permit, which is when you

304
00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:11,080
permit a councilman to shove a pine cone up your ass.

305
00:13:11,399 --> 00:13:14,879
Every torture shack requires a pine cone up your.

306
00:13:14,759 --> 00:13:17,159
Speaker 1: Ass to get a torture shack built.

307
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:21,639
Speaker 3: Yes, part of the necessary paperwork and bureaucracy required in

308
00:13:21,679 --> 00:13:22,200
Hell City.

309
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,000
Speaker 2: If you want to do torture, you gotta be tortured,

310
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:24,399
you know it.

311
00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,279
Speaker 1: So it works. So it seems like you mostly deal

312
00:13:26,279 --> 00:13:29,559
in a lot of like bureaucracy and zoning and just

313
00:13:29,679 --> 00:13:31,320
like annoying laws.

314
00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:33,480
Speaker 3: And I wouldn't say it's annoying I think it's it's

315
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:36,120
you know, I think everybody loves bureaucracy. I think that's

316
00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:38,440
one of Hell's biggest gifts to the earth.

317
00:13:38,759 --> 00:13:39,440
Speaker 2: No, I love it.

318
00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:41,360
Speaker 1: I guess that's one of the benefits of living in

319
00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:43,559
like the city of Hell. You know, like you actually

320
00:13:43,559 --> 00:13:46,320
get the benefit of all the bureaucracy that's not in

321
00:13:46,399 --> 00:13:47,440
the out in the country.

322
00:13:47,519 --> 00:13:49,360
Speaker 3: At the end of the day, you're gonna get more

323
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:52,960
torture in Hell City. You're gonna get more smug in

324
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,960
Heal City. I mean, if you want a truly terrible

325
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,360
live health, City is where you want to be. And

326
00:13:58,399 --> 00:14:01,919
it's because of hard working politics like myself.

327
00:14:02,159 --> 00:14:04,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, you don't end up in Hell City.

328
00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:05,799
You don't have to go to like the suburbs, you know,

329
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:07,159
like Flugerville or something.

330
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:13,879
Speaker 1: God that sounds horrible, I know. Okay, So I don't

331
00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:16,720
know too much about like the zoning laws or the

332
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:20,480
other like restrictions if you wanted to like build something

333
00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:21,559
or I don't know.

334
00:14:21,559 --> 00:14:23,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, Jerry, how does zoning work down in Hell? Like

335
00:14:23,919 --> 00:14:26,399
what's you know, how do they determine what goes where?

336
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:28,559
And like what's the most of the city zoned for?

337
00:14:29,039 --> 00:14:32,240
Speaker 3: You know, Traditionally in Hell City, every most of the

338
00:14:32,279 --> 00:14:35,120
city is zoned for torture, but you know there are

339
00:14:35,159 --> 00:14:37,240
some exceptions. I mean, the big thing that the city

340
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:40,600
council does is manage zoning changes. So whenever we have

341
00:14:40,639 --> 00:14:43,480
a zoning change, we make sure we'll learn everybody nearby,

342
00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:46,919
and everybody who wants to come in and complain about

343
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:49,879
that change, we tell them exactly where to go, where

344
00:14:49,919 --> 00:14:52,480
to show up. It's a door in city hall. You

345
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:55,799
walk through it, and it's a bottomless pit. And so

346
00:14:55,879 --> 00:14:58,799
we get rid of all the complainers, and so we

347
00:14:58,919 --> 00:15:02,440
allow the city count so to do what we want.

348
00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:06,000
Speaker 1: To do, which is anything, which is anything okay, great,

349
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:08,879
fair to me. How do you alert people of these changes?

350
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:13,279
Speaker 3: Again, we we find a pine cone up the ass

351
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:18,679
really does give people's attention, uh huh. So you'll find

352
00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:22,120
and you know, it's one of those things because limited budget,

353
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:27,480
a lot of different aspects of local government bureaucracy revolve

354
00:15:27,559 --> 00:15:30,080
around a pine cone up your ass. And on Earth

355
00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:32,279
that might seem you know, like a like a metaphor,

356
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,360
but but in Hell City it's quite literal.

357
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:37,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I heard you. Guys also really recently went paperless,

358
00:15:37,519 --> 00:15:39,240
which was a big step and I heard you were

359
00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:43,480
actually describing, you know, local government announcements onto stones and

360
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:45,080
then throwing them into people's windows.

361
00:15:45,279 --> 00:15:48,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you figure that if if the stone lands

362
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:51,480
on their head, they're gonna notice it, right, Because the

363
00:15:51,519 --> 00:15:54,480
biggest thing is people are just going to ignore anything

364
00:15:54,519 --> 00:15:56,000
you try to like throw at them.

365
00:15:56,519 --> 00:15:59,320
Speaker 1: But if you throw something they can't ignore.

366
00:15:59,519 --> 00:16:01,919
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they're they're gonna notice.

367
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,360
Speaker 1: It's just hard to break stuff with paper, so yeah,

368
00:16:04,399 --> 00:16:05,039
that makes sense.

369
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:07,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, you break a few bones, you'll move

370
00:16:07,399 --> 00:16:07,840
some heads.

371
00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:08,759
Speaker 1: Yeah.

372
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:11,480
Speaker 3: In Hell City, we want to make sure that if

373
00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:15,320
we have a school, there's a porn shop located within

374
00:16:15,519 --> 00:16:19,000
a quarter mile. So that's really where zoning gets like

375
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:21,360
creative and allows you really mold things.

376
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:23,639
Speaker 2: I heard we're going to try to reduce that distance

377
00:16:23,679 --> 00:16:25,279
to like, you know meters, you know.

378
00:16:25,279 --> 00:16:29,200
Speaker 3: Like, yeah, well I can only do so much, you know,

379
00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:32,399
I'm just one demon. But you know, the closer we

380
00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:37,600
can bring liquor stores, drug dealers to schools, the better.

381
00:16:37,679 --> 00:16:40,480
And we do that through the miracle of zoning.

382
00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:43,559
Speaker 2: All respectable businesses, and we need more of them, you know,

383
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,120
you know, you know what we need more of Jerry

384
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:47,480
Nail salons.

385
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,559
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, we have some nail salons in Hell City,

386
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:52,840
but I know we want more. We have demons that

387
00:16:53,159 --> 00:16:58,559
need their hoofs, claws, and horns treated and trimmed, and

388
00:16:58,639 --> 00:16:59,559
you know, plus.

389
00:16:59,279 --> 00:17:02,559
Speaker 1: There's the bej is like the blowjobs.

390
00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:05,519
Speaker 3: No, you stick a buff job for the for the horns.

391
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:08,160
Speaker 2: Oh, Chris, you wonder why you're in Hell.

392
00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:10,640
Speaker 1: Well, sorry, I don't have horns. I don't get them

393
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:11,799
buffed very often.

394
00:17:15,079 --> 00:17:17,839
Speaker 2: You're missing out's Yeah, it's important. Feels almost as good

395
00:17:17,839 --> 00:17:18,480
as a blowjob.

396
00:17:20,799 --> 00:17:24,319
Speaker 1: I had noticed. There are a lot of schools in Hell,

397
00:17:24,559 --> 00:17:26,680
like a lot. Are there just a lot of kids?

398
00:17:26,759 --> 00:17:28,279
Or like, what's the deal with that, Jerry?

399
00:17:28,319 --> 00:17:30,799
Speaker 2: If I made? Those are actually just school zones. Yeah,

400
00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:32,640
we just have Oh yeah, you don't want we don't

401
00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:34,799
want people driving too fast and getting to their places

402
00:17:34,799 --> 00:17:37,400
on time, so we just have school zones everywhere. Our

403
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:39,839
school system is actually located in a place called Heck.

404
00:17:40,039 --> 00:17:41,839
Speaker 1: Okay, so it's not in Hell. It's like kind of

405
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:43,799
like a study like they have to go to Heck.

406
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's it's a it's a really you know,

407
00:17:45,839 --> 00:17:48,400
weird kind of setup. But yeah, yeah that's how that's

408
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:49,000
how it goes.

409
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:50,880
Speaker 3: But the schools are reported. You know, it's the next

410
00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:52,240
generation of torturers.

411
00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:54,160
Speaker 1: So do they do They just they enter a school

412
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,920
and then they get transported to heck. Is that how

413
00:17:56,319 --> 00:17:56,839
it works?

414
00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:00,160
Speaker 2: Yeah? Heck or as it's you know, sometimes known HG

415
00:18:00,279 --> 00:18:03,759
double hockey six okay, another common name. Yeah, okay, all right.

416
00:18:04,119 --> 00:18:06,640
Speaker 1: Besides like I guess, zoning, what else are you in

417
00:18:06,799 --> 00:18:07,200
charge of?

418
00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:09,400
Speaker 3: Oh, the big thing is the budget. We set the

419
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:12,799
budget every year and it's always a hot debate, you know,

420
00:18:13,039 --> 00:18:15,759
but we have you know, literally, yeah, we have we

421
00:18:15,799 --> 00:18:18,000
have priorities, like, for instance, we know that we have

422
00:18:18,079 --> 00:18:21,599
to devote a lot of tax money to our fire

423
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:24,799
crews and trucks which are in charge of going around

424
00:18:24,839 --> 00:18:26,640
and starting fires around the city.

425
00:18:27,079 --> 00:18:29,119
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, well yeah, I mean that's like, if

426
00:18:29,119 --> 00:18:30,000
you don't have that.

427
00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:32,920
Speaker 3: Where the fires is gonna who's gonna start the fires? Yeaeah.

428
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:35,279
Speaker 1: So what else? What are some other I guess big

429
00:18:35,359 --> 00:18:36,319
budget items.

430
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,839
Speaker 3: Well, we always make sure that there's a lot of

431
00:18:38,839 --> 00:18:42,279
money for construction at the airport. No matter what, there

432
00:18:42,319 --> 00:18:44,960
will always be three hundred and sixty five days a

433
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,279
year construction at the airport. Every time we finish building

434
00:18:48,279 --> 00:18:50,960
a road, we make sure there's money to start work

435
00:18:51,039 --> 00:18:54,000
on that same road again, so there will always be

436
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:58,079
road construction. We know everyone loves road construction.

437
00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:00,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, basically as soon as you finish that road, you

438
00:19:00,759 --> 00:19:01,759
start tearing it up again.

439
00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:04,079
Speaker 3: Is that Yeah, you know, like there's really no other

440
00:19:04,119 --> 00:19:04,640
way to do it.

441
00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:06,079
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's important.

442
00:19:06,319 --> 00:19:09,160
Speaker 3: Those roads are important, very important. And so my my

443
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:11,720
big project that we're cutting the ribbon on this week

444
00:19:11,799 --> 00:19:15,640
is it's a new water sewage treatment plant and it's

445
00:19:16,319 --> 00:19:18,759
where you go and you're able to shit in the

446
00:19:18,799 --> 00:19:21,000
drinking water in Hell City and make sure there's a

447
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:26,400
good amount of sewage going into every home in Hell.

448
00:19:27,079 --> 00:19:27,400
Speaker 1: Wow.

449
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:29,599
Speaker 2: It's a big undertaking. It's important.

450
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:31,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, if someone's gonna drink water, you want to make

451
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:33,519
sure that there's a good amount of shit in that

452
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:34,279
water well.

453
00:19:34,279 --> 00:19:37,200
Speaker 1: And I will say this, it really makes you know,

454
00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:39,720
chat at the water cool or that much better when

455
00:19:39,759 --> 00:19:41,559
you just have like boiling shit.

456
00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:45,000
Speaker 3: The last big one is wildlife services. You know, I mean,

457
00:19:45,039 --> 00:19:48,640
when there's a hell beast in your lawn eating your intestines,

458
00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:51,480
you're gonna get a little annoyed, you know, and you're

459
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:55,319
gonna wanna call wildlife services to take care of it. Huh.

460
00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:57,359
And you know there are a lot of hell beasts

461
00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:57,960
in Hell.

462
00:19:58,039 --> 00:20:01,279
Speaker 1: So what exactly do wild services do? Do they just

463
00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:03,519
like capture the beasts and take them out to.

464
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,839
Speaker 3: Oh sorry, if it wasn't clear, they don't. They don't

465
00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:09,160
actually get rid of the beast. They they help feed

466
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:12,440
you to the beast because there's like, you know, really

467
00:20:12,599 --> 00:20:14,960
large fangs. It's kind of hard for the beast to

468
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:18,440
kind of like get you in there. They grease you

469
00:20:18,559 --> 00:20:20,039
up and and then kind of.

470
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,079
Speaker 1: Like pok you in. So it's really kind of more

471
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:25,440
like murderers. Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah.

472
00:20:25,799 --> 00:20:27,240
Speaker 2: So you know, do you ever dabble in like the

473
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:29,480
Parks and he creation department? Like, what are your stands

474
00:20:29,519 --> 00:20:30,599
on the parks and heck?

475
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:32,400
Speaker 3: Well, it's funny you say that or bring that up

476
00:20:32,759 --> 00:20:36,039
right now? The big debate is all about Confederate statues.

477
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:38,480
Speaker 1: So wait, are you for them? You want them? Or

478
00:20:38,519 --> 00:20:40,680
you're against? What are what is your thought on them?

479
00:20:40,759 --> 00:20:42,839
Speaker 3: Oh? No, ses are you? We're not We're not actually

480
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:47,000
building statues. We're just taking actual Confederate soldiers in Hell

481
00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:51,480
and covering them with molten nickel and letting them dry.

482
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:55,279
Oh so it's less they're not really posing. They're more

483
00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:56,039
kind of like.

484
00:21:00,279 --> 00:21:02,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, seeing Star Wars impart strikes Back, you know,

485
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:05,119
and Frozen. Yeah, it's like that. But they're just like

486
00:21:05,279 --> 00:21:07,759
a bunch of racist guys, you know, planted in various spots.

487
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:09,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, and probably more painful.

488
00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:10,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely.

489
00:21:10,559 --> 00:21:12,920
Speaker 1: Any other big things that you're kind of like in

490
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:14,279
charge of, Yeah.

491
00:21:14,079 --> 00:21:16,720
Speaker 3: I make sure that you know. All of the employees

492
00:21:16,799 --> 00:21:20,039
at uh in City Hall and Health City, we have

493
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:22,119
like a strong culture, and a part of that is

494
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:25,880
having like a culture crew that's there to throw parties

495
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:29,240
for our workers to distract them from how low their

496
00:21:29,279 --> 00:21:32,599
actual pay is, just like on Earth, and you know,

497
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:36,039
that's that's where companies got the idea to pay their

498
00:21:36,079 --> 00:21:39,480
employees so little and distract them by like, you know,

499
00:21:39,599 --> 00:21:41,480
fun parties or gotcha.

500
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:42,119
Speaker 1: Gotcha.

501
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:44,640
Speaker 2: It's really cool too, because we'll take a lot of

502
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:46,720
the money that we could be paying the employees and

503
00:21:46,759 --> 00:21:51,359
we'll just throw a really big, elaborate, wasteful party, you know,

504
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:54,759
and then we announce, guess what, no Christmas bonuses this year.

505
00:21:54,759 --> 00:21:56,599
It's paying for this party.

506
00:21:57,119 --> 00:21:59,440
Speaker 3: And the great thing is you can use all of

507
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:03,359
that money yourself just reward the people up in charge.

508
00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:05,000
It's really great, but I mean, and again, you know,

509
00:22:05,079 --> 00:22:06,880
I don't want to take credit. You know, this is

510
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:09,839
something Health City has been doing for a while, but recently,

511
00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:12,960
you know, Earth companies, especially those tech companies, have really

512
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:13,759
gotten on board.

513
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:16,480
Speaker 1: Oh so, I guess I'm curious. I haven't actually voted

514
00:22:16,519 --> 00:22:18,400
in Hell Like, what is the voting process?

515
00:22:18,799 --> 00:22:21,119
Speaker 2: It's actually it's quite simple, isn't it, Jerry.

516
00:22:21,519 --> 00:22:25,240
Speaker 3: Quite simple. You have to travel outside of Hell City

517
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:28,359
if you want to vote in Health City. You have

518
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:30,920
to go out of Hell City to vote, Okay, and

519
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:34,200
there's no form of transportation to get there. And in

520
00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:37,880
order to find the map to get there, you guessed it,

521
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:39,720
pine cone up the ass.

522
00:22:40,039 --> 00:22:41,920
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I know.

523
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,599
Speaker 3: It's just you know, the budget's limited, so our options

524
00:22:44,599 --> 00:22:47,279
are limited. Works it works, If it works, it works.

525
00:22:47,519 --> 00:22:50,319
Speaker 1: So you have to go somewhere get a pine cone

526
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,880
up the ass to find out where the polling locations are.

527
00:22:53,079 --> 00:22:55,880
Speaker 3: Right, I'll tell you, guys. I'll tell you guys, but

528
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,839
don't tell anyone else. You have to go to the

529
00:22:58,880 --> 00:22:59,960
maze of bewilderment.

530
00:23:00,319 --> 00:23:00,680
Speaker 1: Okay.

531
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:03,599
Speaker 2: It's a very simple process to get your vote in you.

532
00:23:03,519 --> 00:23:05,920
Speaker 1: Know, uh huh, you just get a pint gun up

533
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:10,640
the ass, then travel to somewhere in another dimension to

534
00:23:10,759 --> 00:23:14,920
the Maze of Bewilderment. Is right, find the one pull in.

535
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:16,880
Speaker 3: And before you get you'll have to go We built

536
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:20,759
the infinite roundabout, so you'll have to go through the

537
00:23:20,799 --> 00:23:24,359
infinite roundabout. And when you're done going through an infinite

538
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:27,720
amount of loops, then you get to the Maze of Bewilderment.

539
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,920
Speaker 1: Okay, the entrant to the maze. Yeah, yeah, and then

540
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:32,640
you have to go through the maze.

541
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:35,039
Speaker 3: You have to go through the maze. Yeah yeah, And

542
00:23:35,079 --> 00:23:37,720
you better do that in fifteen minutes or less, because

543
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:40,799
that's how much time you have to vote in Hell.

544
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:45,480
Because voting's important and we have to make sure that

545
00:23:45,559 --> 00:23:47,799
we get it right. So if it's only open for

546
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:51,119
fifteen minutes, we can make sure for fifteen minutes that

547
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:54,240
voting booth will be perfect.

548
00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:56,680
Speaker 1: Everything will run smoothly. If you really limit the number

549
00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:58,119
of people who are able to do it and the

550
00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:00,279
amount of time that they have to do it, that's yeah,

551
00:24:00,319 --> 00:24:01,200
that's genius.

552
00:24:01,519 --> 00:24:04,519
Speaker 2: Fortunately, the voting polls are open at very convenient times

553
00:24:04,519 --> 00:24:07,319
from three am to three fifteen am, and we're also

554
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:12,200
in negotiation for opening up another easily accessible voting booth.

555
00:24:12,319 --> 00:24:13,759
Speaker 1: Oh so you did be more than one.

556
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:16,200
Speaker 2: It's right where we're thinking about opening one up in

557
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:17,480
heaven for the Hell elections.

558
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:19,160
Speaker 1: If you're in hell, how would you get up to

559
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:22,079
heaven but you can't? Yeah, okay, I realized as I

560
00:24:22,079 --> 00:24:23,720
asked that question what the answer was.

561
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:29,279
Speaker 3: The important thing is that voting exists somewhere. Whether or

562
00:24:29,359 --> 00:24:32,960
not you get there in time is your problem. But

563
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:38,319
as long as it technically exists, then this is a democracy.

564
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:42,400
And I think this hell democracy is something that I

565
00:24:42,519 --> 00:24:44,160
feel very proudly of.

566
00:24:44,519 --> 00:24:48,079
Speaker 1: Gotcha, So, I guess you talked a lot about the budget.

567
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,839
Where does the budget come from? Like, I mean, is

568
00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:51,599
it all taxes?

569
00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:55,440
Speaker 3: Of course, it's taxes, you know, And the big one,

570
00:24:56,079 --> 00:24:58,640
you know, is the torture tax. You know, if you're

571
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:01,319
going to torture, we gotta tax it.

572
00:25:01,599 --> 00:25:01,799
Speaker 2: You know.

573
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,640
Speaker 3: It's just one of those things that the government has

574
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:08,279
to get money somehow, And we know how important torturing is.

575
00:25:09,079 --> 00:25:12,240
So if you want to shove a hot poker in

576
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:16,440
someone's asshole, you're gonna have to pay the government for

577
00:25:16,599 --> 00:25:20,599
the ability to do that. We also have the school

578
00:25:20,599 --> 00:25:24,319
district taxes, you know, to educate the tortures of tomorrow,

579
00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:26,599
which we find, you know, very important.

580
00:25:26,759 --> 00:25:29,319
Speaker 1: Yeah. This, uh, and that's just for the school zones,

581
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:30,799
not for the actual schools, right.

582
00:25:30,759 --> 00:25:32,160
Speaker 3: Not for the actual Yah, gotcha?

583
00:25:32,279 --> 00:25:35,480
Speaker 1: Gotcha? So are you running for re election anytime soon

584
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:38,319
or use anything like coming up that people should be

585
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:39,079
voting for.

586
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:39,599
Speaker 2: No.

587
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:42,400
Speaker 3: I murdered all my potential opponents, so I'm good on

588
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:47,440
re election. What I'm here is to push Proposition six

589
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:51,640
six six, and that's where we will ban electric cars

590
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:57,680
from hell, ban gasoline cars from hell, and all automobiles

591
00:25:57,759 --> 00:26:04,000
will run on call, and not just normal coal leaded coal.

592
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:07,200
We're gonna take the coal and we're going to put

593
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:10,920
the lead in the coal, and it's going to run

594
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:11,640
out of your car.

595
00:26:12,079 --> 00:26:15,599
Speaker 2: It's it's a very important proposition. People need to exercise

596
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,160
their write and vote for it. You know, our our slogan,

597
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:21,759
our catchphrases, don't be a bunch of dicks, vote prop

598
00:26:21,839 --> 00:26:24,759
six six' six. All right, So remember that jingle when

599
00:26:24,759 --> 00:26:27,000
you go to the polls, and remember me as well,

600
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,359
because I'm going to be voting in the upcoming election.

601
00:26:29,599 --> 00:26:33,079
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love that jingle. Michael Jackson just finished like

602
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:35,079
a really great version of it, and it's going to

603
00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:37,240
be running in the commercials soon. Good.

604
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:39,599
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have a question for you, mister jerry mandering.

605
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:43,119
Who will you be supporting in the presidential primary?

606
00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:46,559
Speaker 3: That vote is for mister Clayton.

607
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:47,200
Speaker 2: That's right.

608
00:26:47,279 --> 00:26:50,640
Speaker 3: I think he brings change that we need in Hell.

609
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:54,599
Things are too good. We need to make them worse.

610
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:59,160
I am not alone when I say that Satan has

611
00:26:59,519 --> 00:27:03,359
taken a back seat in governance and things in Hell

612
00:27:03,519 --> 00:27:09,759
have gotten too good. We need Clayton to make Hell

613
00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:10,920
shitty again.

614
00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:13,799
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you for that glowing endorsement. I promise

615
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:15,839
I will do my best to you and to all

616
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:19,079
my constituents. I will make things fucking awful. That is

617
00:27:19,079 --> 00:27:19,640
my promise.

618
00:27:19,839 --> 00:27:23,200
Speaker 1: This is your first political endorsement. Wow, that's great. Congratulations Clayton.

619
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:26,119
Speaker 2: Thank you. You're your Pinecunes will be in the mail. Oh,

620
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:26,480
thank you.

621
00:27:26,759 --> 00:27:27,079
Speaker 3: All right.

622
00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:29,079
Speaker 2: Well, on that note, make sure you guys tune in

623
00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:31,559
next week where we will be having our primary debates,

624
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:34,359
the first debates in the Hell election. So it's gonna

625
00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:36,839
be it's gonna be big. After that, we're gonna be

626
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:38,440
taking a bit of a break, but we will be

627
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:39,640
back shortly. After.

628
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll take a couple of weeks off to work

629
00:27:42,279 --> 00:27:45,119
on the campaign and uh put then be back just

630
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:47,279
a few weeks later and there'll be some good, you know,

631
00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:49,799
political ads in between to give you stuff to listen to.

632
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:52,559
Speaker 2: That's right, So tell your friends all about our show,

633
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:56,200
all about our campaign. Thank you for listening, vote for me,

634
00:27:56,839 --> 00:27:57,480
Hail Clayton.

635
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:08,480
Speaker 1: All right, Thank you Brandon Farmahine for coming on as

636
00:28:08,519 --> 00:28:09,559
mister jerry mandering.

637
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:12,200
Speaker 3: Hooray. I'm sure that was terrible.

638
00:28:13,319 --> 00:28:16,519
Speaker 2: That's that classic Brandon Farmahini ego that I had known.

639
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:20,880
Speaker 1: Love. So, Brandon, been a while since we've got into

640
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:23,759
work together. Tell us what you've been up to.

641
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:28,000
Speaker 3: Well, I started my own company last year and we

642
00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:32,960
have three new podcasts you can check out. The first

643
00:28:33,039 --> 00:28:36,880
one is kind of how when you turn thirty things suck.

644
00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:40,279
Your body sucks. Everything you were told as a child

645
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:45,079
is a lie and it's awful. Everything everything's awful. And

646
00:28:45,119 --> 00:28:46,640
that should have been the name, but the name of

647
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:48,640
the podcast is Wrong Side of Thirty.

648
00:28:49,759 --> 00:28:50,920
Speaker 1: I just turned thirty.

649
00:28:51,559 --> 00:28:54,880
Speaker 3: Fuck, it's terrible. It's just gonna get worse.

650
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:59,200
Speaker 1: I think I've listened to every episode. It's extremely funny.

651
00:28:59,279 --> 00:29:03,240
Brandon now it's very fine. No no, no, no, And

652
00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:05,359
I wouldn't I wouldn't say this if I didn't actually

653
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:07,880
believe it. I also wouldn't actually listen to it if

654
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:10,599
I didn't actually enjoy it. It is very funny. Who

655
00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:12,759
was it that told the storybellt taking a shit in Paris?

656
00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:13,799
Speaker 2: That was me?

657
00:29:14,079 --> 00:29:16,559
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I left a lot of details out like

658
00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:19,680
that whole That whole experience was just like thirty minutes

659
00:29:19,759 --> 00:29:24,519
long of like me in an old Paris cafe where

660
00:29:24,559 --> 00:29:28,000
the bathroom is just a single toilet, like it's it,

661
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:32,079
and there's a little American kid on the other side knocking,

662
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:34,400
trying to like open the door, and I have to

663
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:35,920
be like, I don't know why I said I was

664
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:42,960
like occupato in France to an American, and you know,

665
00:29:43,079 --> 00:29:47,680
she kid, and she's there narrating everything. She's like, mom,

666
00:29:47,759 --> 00:29:50,160
he's still going. He's been in there for twenty minutes.

667
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:52,359
And then I don't know how you guys are, but

668
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:54,599
I poop before I pee, so I'm done with the

669
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:57,279
poop and then I start peeing and I'm like, finally,

670
00:29:57,319 --> 00:30:00,240
this experience is almost over. And I think they're gone

671
00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:01,599
because I haven't heard them in a while, and then

672
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:05,079
I just hear through the door, Mom, now he's peaking,

673
00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:08,640
and I realized Americans are terrible.

674
00:30:09,039 --> 00:30:11,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what it occurred. Yeah, and then my favorite

675
00:30:11,799 --> 00:30:14,599
thing is, at least according to the most recent episode,

676
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:17,640
you can pay twenty dollars or whatever, and you get

677
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:22,319
to pick what the next episode's about. Yes, yeah, you're brilliant.

678
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:25,599
Via by All you have to do is contribute to

679
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:26,559
Brandon's cameo.

680
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:31,119
Speaker 3: Yeah, my cameo. I mean, like the ninety so some

681
00:30:31,279 --> 00:30:34,400
chick on ninety Day Fiance is like financing a house

682
00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:36,359
based on her cameo, and I was like, fuck, I

683
00:30:36,359 --> 00:30:40,039
can get a cameo. So we like made it a thing.

684
00:30:40,119 --> 00:30:42,720
You can pick the next topic by buying a cameo.

685
00:30:42,839 --> 00:30:44,920
Speaker 1: All I know is I'm gonna be picking the next topic.

686
00:30:45,599 --> 00:30:47,640
Should this podcast finish this recording.

687
00:30:48,359 --> 00:30:51,960
Speaker 3: We have a new podcast though, launching. It's I know

688
00:30:52,039 --> 00:30:54,160
you guys don't watch it, but you probably will soon

689
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:57,720
because it's exploding in popularity. Ninety Day Fiance. We have

690
00:30:57,759 --> 00:31:00,440
a ninety Day Fiance podcast launching. It's the best reality

691
00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:03,319
show on television. It's the best show on television. It's amazing.

692
00:31:03,519 --> 00:31:06,400
So if you do watch it, it's called ninety Days

693
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:10,640
sore A. So look for it on any all the

694
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:13,440
major podcast providers. That one's a lot of fun.

695
00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:15,079
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then what was your third one?

696
00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:18,039
Speaker 3: That one is a one on one interview. As Chris

697
00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:21,799
definitely knows, we have done a shit ton of interviewing

698
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:25,000
over the years from you know, like behind the scenes

699
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:29,359
type shit. So I've just taken those skills, which are

700
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:33,759
not transferable to anything else, and done a one on

701
00:31:33,759 --> 00:31:36,480
one podcast show, and that is tell them who you are,

702
00:31:37,119 --> 00:31:39,920
so people I find interesting. The next episode should be

703
00:31:40,079 --> 00:31:43,599
out in about a week, and ironically enough, it is

704
00:31:43,599 --> 00:31:45,279
with a city council person.

705
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:50,119
Speaker 1: Oh well, there you go full circle. Yeah. Well, so

706
00:31:50,319 --> 00:31:53,759
people just search for wherever you're listening to podcasts. I

707
00:31:53,839 --> 00:31:57,279
personally would recommend Wrong Side of Thirty because I think

708
00:31:57,279 --> 00:32:00,799
it's really funny. But there's go give those listen and

709
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:03,200
uh yeah, thanks for coming on, Brandon, Thanks.

710
00:32:03,319 --> 00:32:05,279
Speaker 3: Thanks for thanks for having me. I hope, I hope

711
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:06,440
they don't cancel the show.

712
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:10,279
Speaker 1: If I watched an episode of ninety day Fiance, can

713
00:32:10,319 --> 00:32:12,160
I be on it? Sure? Okay?

714
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:15,319
Speaker 3: All right, wait wait wait do you require money?

715
00:32:15,559 --> 00:32:16,240
Speaker 1: No?

716
00:32:16,319 --> 00:32:19,359
Speaker 3: Okay then yeah then sorry, then yes, that's what I mean, Yes,

717
00:32:19,359 --> 00:32:20,720
that you can be on it all right.

718
00:32:20,759 --> 00:32:21,319
Speaker 1: Thanks Brandon,