Speaker 1: This is a podcast from Minute Media.
Speaker 2: All right, everybody, it's the podcast that is the only
thing in the world that can drag you away from
the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window.
And welcome back to the Shirley You Can't Be Serious podcast.
Shirley fans, I'd like to list you a Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas, ded, Merry Christmas. Jason.
Speaker 3: Thanks, man.
Speaker 2: I'm so excited we've come to the end of our
second season. We're finishing off with Christmas movies, but it
is the season to be jolly, and I'm just I'm
relishing in all of this Christmas blitz.
Speaker 3: I know, man, We've had a great year two. Yeah,
I'm excited about year three. But let's cap year two
with two of the greatest Christmas movies ever made.
Speaker 2: Yeah, two Christmas movies about young boys like us back
in the eighties and nineties who faced troubles but ended
up having a merry Christmas afteral let's do it. So
we're going to talk today about Home Alone Yep nineteen
ninety Yes, and A Christmas Story nineteen eighty three.
Speaker 3: Right, did you see either of these in the theater?
Speaker 2: I know that I saw Home Alone in the theater.
One hundred percent sure I saw it in the theater,
and I may have seen it a couple times in
the theater. It was one of those things like Crocodile Dundee,
where it was just there and stayed there and was
there and there and there and kept being there. So
I'm pretty sure I saw it at least twice in
the theater. A Christmas Story. I was pretty young when
that one came out. I know that I remember seeing
it on VHS. I know that I remembered seeing it
quite a bit before it became the TNT twenty four
hour marathon, which I think we're in year twenty four
of that. This year, I think its ninety seven. Yes,
it's the year twenty four that you're going to get
twenty four hours of Christmas Story.
Speaker 3: They play it twelve times in a row.
Speaker 2: And I'll sit there and I'll watch it. I'll watch it.
I mean, it's just just on while you're doing your
Christmas stuff. But my gosh, it's wonderful.
Speaker 3: And because it's in vignettes, you can pick it up
here and there and drop it absolutely absolutely, So let's
talk about that.
Speaker 2: So you and I talked on the phone yesterday right
about how these two movies are so similar to other movies,
and so I said, you know, a Christmas story doesn't
necessarily have like a real plot to it. I mean,
it's got kind of an arc of He's wanting the
bb gun, but it's really just a bunch of vignettes,
which is basically the same thing as a Christmas vacation
national lampoon a Christmas vacation. It is the arc of
he wants a swimming pool and then a bunch of
vignettes that go along with that family in the hats, right,
that's right. And then you pointed out that Home Alone
is really.
Speaker 3: It's die Hard for kids.
Speaker 2: It's die Hard for kids. I mean, there are a
few select plot lines in the library that you could
pick from, but these are definitely both dude with a problem.
Speaker 3: Right plot lines.
Speaker 2: But it goes beyond that, it does. Do you want
to talk about that now? Are you want to save
that for later?
Speaker 3: No, let's talk about it now.
Speaker 2: Okay, So let's talk about the similarities between Home Alone
and Diehard.
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, so these are the exact same movies, just
flipped ones for adults and ones for kids.
Speaker 2: Right, the beats are pretty similar.
Speaker 3: The first similarity in these two movies the bad guy
Hans Kruber and Harry the Burglar. They both pretend to
be good guys.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Hans Gruber is a guy who works in the building, right,
that's what he's pretending to be, Bill Clay, And then
Joe Peshy's at the very beginning of the movie pretending
to be a cop.
Speaker 3: Oh god, you're not one of them, are you?
Speaker 2: Because he spoke Californian. Check out our Diehard versus Leath
the Weapon podcasts from last year, one of our best
series of podcasts. Yeah, I love that one.
Speaker 3: Okay, what else you got?
Speaker 2: Okay, So close to the end of the movie, both
of those same two guys have a amazing and incredibly
painful looking fall straight back.
Speaker 3: That is very true. That is very true.
Speaker 2: Hans Ribber falls to his death. Ja, I hope that's
not one of the hostages. And Joe Pesci steps on
the slick steps and does the most painful looking knock
the breath out of you back splash into the concrest.
Speaker 3: Those stumpman did not get paid enough on Home alone. Yeah,
here's the other thing. At the very end of the movie.
Who comes to the rescue somebody from left field? Right right,
You've got Al who's Sergeant Al Powell shows up at
just the right time, pulls his gun to blow away.
And also you've got old man Marley shows up with
a snowshell.
Speaker 2: Yep, another fantastic hit straight out of looney Tune.
Speaker 3: Yeah, sure enough.
Speaker 2: Both movies end with an embrace of somebody who they've
been trying to reunite with for the entire movie. You
have John reuniting with Hollie and then you have Kevin
reuniting with his mom. It's all very beautiful. I'll tell
you this one. And if you look closely at this one,
you're gonna be like, wow, where did John Hughes really
watch a diehard? And the copy beat for beat? So
you remember when John McClain first sees Hans come in
with mister Takagi, right, mister, Yes, where's he hiding John McLain, Yes,
under the table, under the table. And the first time
we see the bad guys in home alone, what does
mcaulay culkin do? What does Kevin do? He runs upstairs
and I and then it is the same perspective, little
crouched down hidden underneath the bed instead of underneath the table.
Speaker 3: Hey, I'll tell you another similarity. Yeah, both movies have
guys picking glass out of their feet.
Speaker 2: That's right, Yes, that's hilarious.
Speaker 3: Although Marv does not say all thanks being equal, he'd
rather be in Philadelphia.
Speaker 2: Yeah okay. And then, of course, the thing that I
think I pointed out to you before we even like
really started diving into this, you have two fantastic scenes
both movies. Bad guy gets shot in the crotch.
Speaker 3: Next time you have a chance to shoot someone, don't hesitate.
Speaker 2: Thanks for the advice.
Speaker 3: These movies are great. I can't wait to dive into these.
I actually did see both of these in the theater.
I saw A Christmas Story when I was a fifth grader.
I have vivid memories of seeing it because it was
one of the greatest movie watching experiences I've ever had. Okay,
now I'm gonna say the same thing for Home Alone,
because both times I saw this I laughed my butt off. Okay, yeah,
I as a fifth grader, though, watching Randy snort mashed
potatoes was like the epitome of humor for me. Right,
Oh my gosh, I was like hyperventilating in the movie theater.
So I have wonderful memories of seeing these in the
movie theater. I think I've said, I think I said
last year The Diehard was my greatest movie watching experience.
And I'd say that, you know, Raiders et, but christ
story was.
Speaker 2: Up there for for sure, Yeah, for sure, amazing.
Speaker 3: All right, guys, let's take a quick break. We're going
to intro a new podcast out there right now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, plan your work and work your plan. For many athletes,
saying such as this could be considered scripture, permanent sign
posts lining the long road to success in sports. For some,
the very act of pursuing a career in sports can
give you a sense of control, a sense of safety,
so long as you stick to the plan. That is,
until life happens. The kind of life that happens while
you're making other plans, breakdowns insecurity, panic attacks, PTSD, addiction,
sudden life changes, ones that require an athlete to toss
aside their well laid plans and answer the question, what's
your next play? Blindsided is a podcast about sports, mental health,
and life.
Speaker 3: Hosted by former NAHL goalie Corey Hirsch and psychiatrist doctor
Diane McIntosh. The podcast will share and analyze the moments
for a variety of athletes when everything changed for them
and what happened when it did. The podcast let's listeners
hear the athletes describe moments when mental health became the
most important focus of their lives.
Speaker 2: Blindsided then dives deeper, It gets clinical, and it allows
listeners to leave with an understanding of the different varieties
of mental health challenges people face, why they appear, and
how athletes in particular face them down. Blindsided is a
sports podcast not only for people who follow sports, but
also for those who don't. All right, guys, go check
out Blindside. Okay, let's look back at the history and
see how these two amazing films came to be. Okay,
sounds good, All right, So we'll start with a Christmas story.
It was the oldest of the two, right, yes, and
you can see opening credits. It is based on the
stories of Gene Shepherd. The book he had was called
in God We Trust All Others make Cash. But really
it's from some of those stories from that book, but
also a series of stories that he did in a
speaking engagement that he would do from college campus to
college campus. This guy. His whole life, he's spent in
radio and TV doing these short stories. He's got an
entrancing voice. You know, he's the best narrator. My gosh, yeah, absolutely.
You know you mentioned those stories that he had published.
You know where they typically were published, No Playboy magazine.
Speaker 3: Nice, it doesn't seem very read.
Speaker 2: For the articles. So one particular day in the late sixties,
a young man named Robert Clark Bob Clark, was driving
around his car. He was going about to go on
a date and he catches a radio show where it's
Gene Shepherd telling this story and he's like, what is
this as like a kid sticking his tongue to a lighthole.
This is interesting, and so he like, like, I'll circle
the block and hear the rest of the story instead
of picking up his date. So he circles the block
and then again, and then forty five minutes later, the
story is finally over and his girl isn't there waiting
for him.
Speaker 3: And that girl can go because he gave us a
Christmas story.
Speaker 2: So that planned the seed. Late sixties. Bob Clark is like,
I want to take this story and these other stories
and make him into a movie. And so he hits
up Geene Shepherd, and Gene Shepherd's like, who are you, right, Well,
I work in the film industry in Miami, and he's like,
what movies. He's like, I don't have any movies yet,
and so not interested. Not interested, right. What happens is
that Bob Clark keeps pressure in him, keeps wanting to
do these movies, and continues to develop his career. He
ends up going up to Canada, right, because it's a
tax haven at this time, and he starts making movies
in Canada. So in the early seventies, he starts making,
as you would expect, horror movies, right, everybody starts off
with horror movies.
Speaker 3: They're cheap and they're.
Speaker 2: Easy, right. His first one's called Children Shouldn't Play with
Dead Things. He's got Death Dream, He's got Black Christmas,
and Black Christmas ends up being a pretty big hit.
It's got Margot Kidder in it before she's Superman famous.
But it's a slasher flick. And this is seventy four,
so it kind of inspires things like Friday the Thirteenth
and Nightmare on Elm Street, and he becomes kind of
a big fish in a little pond up there in Canada.
Another one of the movies that he did is this
movie called moon Runners, which is about moonshine runners. It
ended up being the source material for a TV show
you might have heard of called The Dukes of Hazzards.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, are you serious?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 3: Yeah, wow, that's fantastic.
Speaker 2: So they he was involved with that. He's obviously you know,
he was a part of that. In two thousand and
five when they re released The Dukes of Hazard, the
new version with Jessic Simpson and yeah, yeah, oh, he
sued him. He and a bunch of other people suited
him and won the case right before the movie came out.
But it was a other big deal really. Yeah. And
then in nineteen eighty one he ends up doing this
movie that everybody knows from the early eighties. I did
a post on Facebook and I'm like, what's the first
rated R movie that you ever saw?
Speaker 3: And this was the number one response. Yeah, yeah, Porky's. Yep,
I've never seen Porky's.
Speaker 2: D Have you seen Porky's You've never seen Porky Porkies? No, yes,
I've seen Porky's.
Speaker 3: I would like my friend Mark Mingle, I was way
too young in nineteen eighty one to see IRAA movies.
Speaker 2: Well we had a satellite and my parents, so there
you go. Okay. So at this point he's become pretty
dang famous. I mean, Porky's was huge in nineteen eighty one,
and so he's like, hey, I want to finally do
my Jean Shepherd story of the kid who wants a
Red Writer be Begun movie. And the studios are still like, no,
narration is dead. We don't want to have a narrator story.
So they turned him down. They turned him down, and
finally he gets just a little bit of a budget
and he says, listen, I will forego my standard director's
fee if you'll just put a little bit more of
the movie. And they end up making this movie for
less than five million dollars. It's insane. Three point three
million dollars. Released November eighteenth, nineteen eighty three. Hey, I've
got something on Bob Clark for you. Okay, go ahead.
Speaker 3: So Bob Clark, after he did Christmas Story, he went
on to do the fantastic movie called Rhinestone Dolly Parton,
So thats you're still owe a bit take He also
did Turk one two, From the Hips and other movies
like that.
Speaker 2: But I will tell you this. He did From the Hip.
Speaker 3: He did From the Hip.
Speaker 2: Oh, that's a great one. That's that's David E Kelly's
first script made into a movie. David E Kelly. Who
did The Practice? Who did La Law? Who did Boston Legal?
Who did Ally McBeal. Yeah, he's a big big time
and Joys and yeah, nine Perfect Strangers. Yeah, so awesome.
Speaker 3: Okay, So I got a little tidbit for you on
Bob Clark.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay.
Speaker 3: Bob Clark has the distinction being one of only two
directors to have a movie on both Roger Ebert's Great
Movies List and Most Hated List. Oh okay, Bob Clarks
of course was christ Story is on the Greatest Movies list? Right?
Speaker 2: Do you know the other one? I'm gonna go with
Baby Geniuses.
Speaker 3: Too, Baby Geniuses.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't see that one.
Speaker 3: Baby Geniuses, Baby Geniuses two.
Speaker 2: I don't know. Okay, it doesn't matter. They're both terrible.
Speaker 3: You know who the other director is.
Speaker 2: Now, Rob Bryaner Meathead. Okay, so Rob Reiner, does it
stand by me? Or is it? Princess Bride, It's Princess Briane. Okay,
that's the best one. What's the best one? What's the
worst one?
Speaker 3: North with Elijah Wood.
Speaker 2: I haven't seen that movie. I have neither. Well, all right,
apparently we're not missing it. Although you can't. You can't
always know from good taste. Because Roger Ebert and Genesuskull
both thumbs down on Home Alone.
Speaker 3: Right, it's crazy, it is nuts.
Speaker 2: It is nuts. They're like, it's old hired formula, right,
Like they took Diehard and they just be a kid, right.
Speaker 3: They didn't like it.
Speaker 2: So wrong, so so wrong. He ends up going to
college and then gets a scholarship to play football and
as a quarterback. He was a scholarship quarterback in college.
Really yeah wow. So Bob Clark finally gets to make
his movie. It's released in nineteen eighty three. It has
minimal success, but ultimately develops a cult following. Well, we
know from our prior episode that a young man was
living in an apartment near the time that a Christmas
story came out that had little mice who would run
across his fingers as he slept in the tenement house
that he was in. This led to him writing a
script for a movie about little critters that invaded a
house that he called Grimlins.
Speaker 3: That's right, Chris Columbus rug Grimlins, right.
Speaker 2: So Chris Columbus gets that script in front of Steven Spielberg,
Joe Dante is signed to direct, and Chris Columbus gets
to come out and be a part of the production.
You'll remember from our Grimlins episode that I said he
was super excited about meeting White Accident, not because White
Accident had written all of these wonderful songs because he
was a great actor, but because his mom had written
an incredibly famous Elvis song called Herbreak Hotel.
Speaker 3: Yes, well, this is my mad love find a new
place to dwell at the end of Lone Street, that
heartbreak and Wow.
Speaker 2: And so sure enough, a little bit later on, Chris
Columbus gets to direct his own movie, which is what
he wanted to do. He it's looked at as he's
the new John Hughes. He directs this.
Speaker 3: Movie called Adventures and Babysitting.
Speaker 2: Adventures in Babysitting Elizabeth sho Oh my one of my
childhood crushes, for sure. And then he goes on directs
another movie which is.
Speaker 3: Called Harby goes yes, and it does.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it craps the pot. It does, yeah, it does.
Speaker 3: It does not do well at all. And he thought
his directing career was over.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he thought of oh one and done, you know,
like I had my chance, I got that big hit
and then I lost it with heartbreak Hotel.
Speaker 3: Well, it helps to have powerful friends, because John Hughes
calling and said, I've got a project I want you
to direct from. Yeah, and he's like, oh, fantastic. What
is it.
Speaker 2: It's a Christmas story about the Griswolds.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, otherwise known as Christmas Vacation.
Speaker 1: Is that time and in time.
Speaker 3: The body that man a timely Yeah.
Speaker 2: So he reads the script, He's like, oh, this is great.
I'd love to I love Christmas movies. Yes, I'd love
to be a part of this.
Speaker 3: So he shows up. It starts working, talking to the stars,
and there's one particular person who became so insufferable that
he had to.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Chevy Chase basically treated him like crap. He's like,
you don't know what you're doing. And Chevy, We've talked
about Chevy Chase's ability to get along with other humans,
and Chris Columbus didn't know what to do. I mean,
he's like he was disregarding everything. I would say, he
didn't respect me. There was just nothing I could do.
And he's so he calls up John Hughes and he
doesn't even have to say the words. John Hughes is like,
you know what, I don't think this is the right
movie for you. I've got another one that you might
be interested in.
Speaker 3: It's incredible. So Chris Columbus gets a big break to
do the National Lampoon Christmas Vacation movie. Next thing, he
knows he's out. But John Hughes in the week gap,
there is one week. One week he wrote two scripts yep.
One of which was this little project called Home Alone. Yeah,
and he adds it too, Chris Columbus and says, I
want you to direct this one.
Speaker 2: So this part, this blew my mind. The way John
Hughes worked. He would start writing on a Friday night
and he would have a script finished by Sunday morning.
Speaker 3: Like polished.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like it's done. And it's not just a script.
It's breakfast Club, it's sixteen candles, Weir's science, I mean what.
He would just crank it out in a couple of
days and it was known like, when John Hughes showed
up for the filming part of things, you didn't deviate
from the script because John Hughes was like, the words
that are perfect are the words that I wrote down,
So you don't change those words unless you're John Candy.
And he had so much respect for John Candy. He
was like, just let him, let him riff and it's
going to be gold.
Speaker 3: You know. It's interesting because I did hear Chris Columbus
say that when an actor deviated from the script, John
Hughes's ear would perk up and be like, no, we're
going to do it my way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay. So he had directed John Candy in both Planes,
Trains and Automobiles and in Uncle Buck.
Speaker 4: Those are two of John Candy's best roles, absolutely absolutely,
maybe best, yeah, I mean, and he wrote The Great Outdoors,
which is another one of John Candy's.
Speaker 2: Yeah, crazy, Now that's interesting. He wrote movies, but he
didn't direct them all right.
Speaker 3: He didn't really like the directing part.
Speaker 2: I think he liked it, okay, but he's just he
was so prolific as a writer. I don't think he
had time, I mean from just to hear this from
nineteen eighty four, Here we Go nineteen eighty four, Sixteen
Candles nineteen eighty five, The Breakfast Club nineteen eighty five,
Weird Science nineteen eighty six, Very Dealer's Day Off nineteen
eighty seven, Planes, Trains and Automobiles nineteen eighty eight, She's
having a Baby nineteen eighty nine, Uncle Buck. I mean,
in that short of a time period he was cranking
him out. I don't think he could have possibly directed
all of the scripts that he was writing, because he
was busy enough directing the ones that he had.
Speaker 3: There is not a bad movie in that list right there.
Speaker 2: Well, the last one on the list came out in
ninety one, and that's Curly sou Well.
Speaker 3: The nineties were a different story for John Hughes.
Speaker 2: It was it was a different story. We can get
into that a little bit. Okay, So Chris Columbus comes
on to direct this movie called Home Alone, right, yes,
And as with all movies, you have to get a
budget for the movie. And John Hughes calls up the
guys at Warner Brothers and he says, hey, I got
this movie. They're like, okay, tell us about it. And
he says, okay, kid, at home alone. All right, how
much ten million? If you can make that movie for
ten million dollars, you can do it, right, And that's
what they said. Yeah, So they go where else are
they going to go? With the John Hughes movies, Chicago,
Chicago Suburbs, and they set up shop. They set up
their back lot at the same high school that they
filmed Ferris Peeler's Day Office and Uncle Buck. It was
called the New Trier School. The school had been shut down,
and so they set up offices, they set up all
of the sets and they got to work.
Speaker 3: It's kind of interesting. So the school basically ran out
of students. I guess the neighborhood matured and there weren't
any young kids anymore. And so they could set up
the art department in you know, like the math area,
you know, and the production part in the English area,
and they had it all kind of right there.
Speaker 2: And they had a giant gymnasium with rafters that you
could hang lights from. It's the perfect place for a
back lot set up. Right now, everybody knows that beautiful
house that they have for Kevin's family, right there's to
all kinds of memes, like I want to know what
Kevin's dad did for a living to be able to
afford this out because it's gorgeous. Yes, but they only
really did the exterior shots because the house's house. You
can't set up and film and get all your lighting
in a house. And so basically they recreated all of
the important interior shots from the house in that gymnasium,
except for when they had to do the flood scenes.
Speaker 3: Right, the flood scenes, they had to build the house
again in the like the empty pool in the high
school Olympic sized pool.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, if you watch the end scene, the
wet bandits have caused flooding and the water's going everywhere,
and they're like, how are we going to do this?
Where's the water gonna go? And then they're wandering around
the school and they come into a building and it's
the old pool and they're like, it's perfect, let's just
pour water into the house and let it hit the pool. Yeah,
the pool's got a dream yep. Okay, so we've wandered
into production a little bit here. Why don't we jump
back to a Christmas story and taught casting?
Speaker 3: Okay, So there's some interesting people that were considered for
roles in a Christmas Story.
Speaker 2: Right. They literally had thousands of people try out for
the part of Ralphie Parker, right Parker. The very first
one that tried out Peter Billingsley, right, who at the
time was kind of an established He had been quite
a few commercials and he was a part of this
TV show called Real People, Right, and so, hey, here's
a kid who's you know, he's got experience, he knows
what he's doing. Seems like the obvious choice. But then
they went ahead and audition several thousand other kids.
Speaker 3: Anyway, they thought he was too famous to be Ralphie
in this movie, right, which is crazy.
Speaker 2: You remember the Hershey Srup commercials, Right, I do, Yeah,
I do?
Speaker 3: Which is kind of crazy that the Oval team played such.
Speaker 2: A big car right right inside joke.
Speaker 3: When he gets hit in the face of a snowball,
I just can't picture anybody else but those sad, giant,
pale blue eyes.
Speaker 2: Right. Well, the backstory on that one was it took
several takes, and the guys who were throwing the snowballs
had gotten pretty good at it, and so they nailed
him hard. And so that take that he got was
the one where he was literally upset and crying because
it hurt. He's getting I mean they it was. The
temperatures that they were foaming in ranged from negative twenty
four to negative twenty. It was cold. And your ball
hit by your fifth or sixth or seventh slush ball
in the eye.
Speaker 3: I'd be crying too, you know what he said when
they hit him, some.
Speaker 2: Of them A great moment. That's a great moment.
Speaker 3: Okay, so listen to this. So Will Wheaton is one
of those guys who auditioned for Ralphie. Yeah, the guy
who goes on to play Gordy and stand by me. Yeah,
and then he does the most amazing narration of Ready.
Speaker 2: Player one, Ready Player one.
Speaker 3: Melinda Dillon got this part because Bob Clark liked her
in Close Encounters.
Speaker 2: She was top billing because of that. I mean, Darren
McGavin had been around for a while, but his was
mostly TV stuff, you know, in character parts. He's in
the Natural two and that sort of thing. But she
was Melinda Dillon was the top bill.
Speaker 3: Close Encounters was long ways before this. But here's the
name that really blows me away. You ready for this one? Yes,
the old man, the person that almost became the old
Man and wanted the part Jack Nicholson.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I knew that, and it would have messed everything up.
It really would have.
Speaker 3: The Old Man is not the he's not the main character.
Speaker 2: He is though, he is so important, but he can't
be the guy who takes over the show. He has
to be the one that is the driving train behind everything.
I mean, if you look at it, it's really a
movie that's as much about him as anybody else. I mean,
Ralphie is watching What's going On with his Dad so
much of the time. That part was hugely important, and
Jeane Shepherd said there were a lot of famous guys.
I'm sure he was thinking of Jack Nicholson, but Darren
McGavin was the most important pick for that movie because
he could be Dad without being somebody who's too big
and trivy star to be Dad.
Speaker 3: Can someone tell me what kind of a world we
live in where a man has to fight his parness
and the neighborhood does's awesome.
Speaker 2: By the way, all of that profanity was completely ad lived,
and he had a lot of trouble not saying actual
profane words because they wanted a PG rating.
Speaker 3: So can this happened in both movies that sort of
cartoon gibberish that they hit yep in a Christmas store.
Dad Joe Peschi has to do the same thing, and Homeo.
Speaker 2: Joe Peshi was mad about the script. He like, comes,
He's like, I can't do the script, and why not
he goes, because there's no f's in here, And I'm
like what He's like, Listen, that's just how I talk, man,
I mean he did. I wouldn't say, you know, hi,
missus Johnson, how you doing. I'd say, hi, missus e
fing Johnson, how's your effing dad? Right?
Speaker 3: You told me that he that's how you read scripts.
If there's missing F words.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he reads them anyway. Yeah, he puts them in himself.
And so I think what he did with this one
is he had to put them in and then take
them back out. So you see him wentz a few
times before a few things. He's trying not to say
the ball.
Speaker 3: When he says shoot, he says shoot. It is the
most forced non cuss word you've ever seen.
Speaker 2: That's hilarious.
Speaker 3: I do think the cartoon profanity, you know, the Looney
Tunes like language that shows up in both of these movies.
Was super funny to me as a kid, and it's
still endearing as an adult.
Speaker 2: Absolutely.
Speaker 3: I love that I can watch all of these movies
at any time with my kids.
Speaker 2: So one of the other kids that auditioned for the
part was a kid named Scott Schwartz who had come
out with a movie just before this called The Toy
mm hmm with mister Richard pryor mister Jackie Gleeson. I mean,
I watched The Toy all the time when I was
a kid.
Speaker 3: It's Richard Donner directed it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a great movie. I mean I think it was.
It was great back in the eighties when I was
watching it. Yet, I mean, you remember the painting scene right. Anyway,
So he was he'd been in hundreds of commercials, He's
been in this movie where he's the main title character,
and then he auditions for this part. And it's not
really even an audition it is it is. He goes
to meet Bob Clark and Bob Clark's just talking to him,
and Bob Clark says, you know what, had I missed
lunch today? You want to go there? I abb a
hot dog? And he's like, yeah, I love hot dogs.
You know he's a kid. Of course, that's what he's
gonna say, right, So they go downstairs, they have a
hot dog. They go back upstairs and he's like, you know,
Scott has wondered, wonderful to meet you. I have a
great day. I look forward to talking to you again soon.
And so Scott leaves walks back to his agent's office
with his dad seven minutes away. I mean that's literally
like down the street. They walk in, she's like, what'd
you do? And they said what do you mean? And
she goes, well, you did something right because you got
the part. And he's like, we had a hot dog.
I mean that was it.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 2: But when they send him the script, there's no name
on it. He doesn't know that he's playing Flick. He
just gets a script and so he's thinking, well, I've
just done this big movie. And so first thing he
does is he goes and counts all the lines. Of course,
that's what you do when you're a kid, right, And
so he counts all of Ralfie's lines, thinking he's going
to be Ralphie. Well, they show up and Bob Clark
is like, all right, uh, Peter, you're gonna be Ralphie, Scott,
you're going to be flick rd, You'll be Schwartz. And
so he's like, ah, so I'm not Ralphie, and I'm
not even Schwartz, even though my name is Schwartz. Yeah, really,
I'm flick Okay, well all right, and he goes through
and he looks at it. He's like, well, at least
you get to stick my tongue with the pole.
Speaker 3: That, you know. Scott Schwartz went on to have sort
of a rough nineties and early two thousands.
Speaker 2: It's a colorful career. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he was acting.
Speaker 2: Here's a guy from Jersey doing what he can to
make the ends meet. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3: He did some of the some of the doubling.
Speaker 2: I haven't seen any of this. No, he's doing much better.
Speaker 3: One other things I want to mention Teddy Moore, who
plays Miss Shields.
Speaker 2: Yes, she was eight.
Speaker 3: Months pregnant when they filmed this. Oh wow, okay, So
in order for her to be Miss Shields, they didn't
want to show an unmarried mother in the late thirties
early forties, right, And so what they did is they
just bowled her up and made her chunky.
Speaker 2: So she wasn't that heavy. Not she's not big. Oh wow,
that is that's crazy. Okay, so that's a Christmas story.
Let's move on to casting for Home Alone talking around
Christmas tree.
Speaker 1: And Christmas.
Speaker 2: Right now. I know, as we mentioned, John Hughes had
directed Uncle Buck and had this young star in Uncle
Buck who's really kind of a side character, but he
really did some amazing work with John Candy kid named
Macaulay Culkin, and so he thinks, I wonder if I
could write a movie with a nine year old as
the main character, right, And that really is how the
script for Home Alone came to be.
Speaker 3: So there's two from Uncle Buck that got us Home
Alone and got us specifically Mcaulay Culker.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Okay.
Speaker 3: So there's the scene at the beginning with John Candy
when he's quizzing with questions.
Speaker 2: Fantastic scene. Where do you live in the city? You
have a house, apartment rent? What do you do for
a living? Lots of things. I don't have one. How
come I don't need one? Don't have one?
Speaker 3: How come?
Speaker 2: It's a long story. You have kids? No, I don't come.
It's an even longer story. My dad's brother. What's your
record for consecutive questions asked, I'm your dad's brother. All right,
you have much more hair in your knows of my dad.
How nice of you to notice I'm a kid. That's
my job.
Speaker 3: You got much more hair on your nose than my dad.
How do I see you to notice I'm a kid,
that's my job, right right, laugh out loud moment and
Uncle Buck. But then there's a scene where Uncle Buck
has to go chase after the oldest daughter in the
family and he has to leave the kids there at
home until Shenise can come over home alone. He's home alone. Oh,
he's home alone. And there's a funny scene where he's
sitting right by the door and he's talking to her
through the mailshoot. Yeah, it's super cute, and he asked
her to get her license out so he can verify
this her and he actually peeks out the mail shoot
at one point and sees three bad guys. It's like,
it's really cute. That scene gave us home along. Yeah,
it's incredible, it's great. So you're right. Mcaulay culkin was
the one and really only Kevin mcollister, right. John Hughes
wanted him, but they did bring in other people to
look at right, Okay, Well, in fact, the kid who
played the neighbor, the neighbor, yeah right, what's the gas
mileage on this car? Nicole in France?
Speaker 2: Right now?
Speaker 3: That kid auditioned for the role of Kevin mcows.
Speaker 2: So I saw that kid, and I'm like, I know
that kid from somewhere. It's Overboard. He's one of the
three sons in Overboard.
Speaker 3: Well of the kids gets poison Ivy Yes, all right,
Mitch Murphy, Jeffrey Wise, okay, now, then Harry and Marv right, okay,
big list here. So Marv was like the sidekick to
Joe Peshi's character, right right, Christopher Lloyd was looked at
to be Marv.
Speaker 2: I can see that Tim Robbins was considered to be
the role of Marv.
Speaker 3: I can also see that you need him tall and
skinny to Joe Pesci's sort of ye short and plump.
Speaker 2: It's the whole thumb pinky theory.
Speaker 3: The thumb pinky theory.
Speaker 2: Give credit to my roommate in college, Clay Yoakum, for
that one. I was you see how many times you've
got a short, fat guy next to a tall, thin
guysh thumb pinky theory.
Speaker 3: So that role eventually went to a guy named Daniel Roebuck. Roebuck,
not Stern, not Stern. We'll come back to Daniel Roebuck. Okay,
So Harry, he's the main burglar. He's like the lead burglar.
This is Joe Peshi's.
Speaker 2: Character, right, Okay, So here are the names.
Speaker 3: You ready for this?
Speaker 2: Yep? Okay?
Speaker 3: We are talking about John Lovett's Rowan Atkinson, Bob Hoskins,
Danny de Vita.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all short and plump. Robert de Niro, Am I wrong?
Speaker 5: Robert de Niro is a little too tall, I think, right,
Kevin Pollock, that's right, Yeah, because Chris Columbus loved Raging
Bull and so he wanted Robert de Niro and then
was like, now, but what's jokees she doing?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Here are the two names that blew me away though, Okay,
for the role of Harry Dudley Moore okay and Phil Collins.
Speaker 2: Honestly, I can see both of those. I could see
it with the little British accent and the silliness. And
you know, Phil Collins was a buster, I guess, so
who knows?
Speaker 3: Maybe? Okay, all right, we want to talk about the
McAllister's real quick.
Speaker 2: Sure, all right.
Speaker 3: Kate McAllister, the casting director, had been involved with Beetlejuice,
So she loved Katherine Ohara, right, and she knew she
was super funny, yes, and so she was kind of
a shoe in. But the one name that they consider Christy.
Speaker 2: Ally hmm okay, two pretty back in nineteen ninety eight.
She's kind of a babe. Yeah, yeah, not mom material
at that point, I think.
Speaker 3: Could you see Christy Elliott cab.
Speaker 2: Maybe? Okay? Yeah.
Speaker 3: So then the next role to Phill is Peter McAllister,
that's the dad.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: That role went to John Hurt, which you mentioned Black
Christmas a few minutes ago, starring Margot Kidder, also the
star of Superman one, two, three, four. Margot Kidder and
John Hurd were married in the seventies. Oh yeah, that's right,
for a glorious six days. Okay, all right, he figured
out she was nutso and less than a week. Yeah,
So anyway, I thought that was fine. Okay, so that
role considered for the people. I mean, you've got big
names like Michael Douglas, Kevin Costner, Martin Sheen, dan Ackroyd,
Charles Groden who ended up playing the old Man in
the sequel to A Christmas Story, Johne Trivolt, Tom Scarrett,
I mean, these his name Steve Martin.
Speaker 2: But here's the problem. As we mentioned before, this movie
had to get made for ten million dollars. We couldn't
have a movie that had these guys in it. They
were too expensive. And at this point, Joe Peschi was
not that expensive, and Daniel Roebuck Daniel Roebuck. But the
chemistry between Daniel Roebuck and Joe Peschi was not good.
Speaker 3: Okay, So here's the deal with that. Yeah, they Joe
Peshi went to the producers. He's like, I don't think
chemistry's there with this guy. They had shot one scene.
They hadn't really worked together, right, Daniel Roebuck is still
bitter about this whole process.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and who wouldn't be, right.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's one of the biggest hits of the decade.
Speaker 2: And Daniel Stern had quit. He quits.
Speaker 3: Okay, we need to talk about that, okay, Yo. Daniel
Stern was hired for six weeks with the work yep,
and then they came back to and they said, well,
it's going to be eight weeks huh. He's like, okay,
no problem. So do I get paid for eight weeks
or just still six weeks? And they're like, no, just
six weeks. He's like, well that's bull crap. I'm not
working for eight on six weeks worth of pay?
Speaker 2: Right, So he quit, he quit, he bailed. You almost
didn't have Daniel Stern in this movie.
Speaker 3: Every time I see Daniel Stern, I see an iron
imprint on his face, you know.
Speaker 2: But fortunately he wised up.
Speaker 3: So when they let go of Daniel Roebuck, they called
Daniel Stern and Diniel Starn Is like, ah man, yeah,
no problem.
Speaker 2: Let's let's do this right.
Speaker 3: Just a couple more tidbits for you. The role of
Uncle Frank, the jerk uncle.
Speaker 2: Yeah right, yeah, look what you did, you little jerk.
Speaker 3: So something interesting was I found out he was originally
written to be the master villain behind this whole home
invasion plot. The original script had him as the guy
that was bringing these burglars in and setting the whole
thing in motion. Wow, so we hate him anyway. Yeah,
so that role was written for Kelsey Grammer.
Speaker 2: Really, Kelsey Grammer. Okay, that's interesting, okay.
Speaker 3: All right, cool, kind of interesting. And the only other
thing I want to mention is Kevin's cousin Fuller, the
one he's worried about wedding the bed. That's his actual brother,
Karen Culkin, right, who played Ralphie in the sequel to
Christmas Story.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, what was that called a Summer Story? Yeah? Right,
they had a few. Yeah, they had a few sequels,
and they even had a Christmas Story two.
Speaker 3: I wanted to watch this before we came in here.
Speaker 2: I put it on you. I texted you, and you
challenged me. This movie exists. You watch every crappy movie
that is somehow related to a movie you watched under
the Cherry Moon. I watched it on the Cherry Moon.
Speaker 3: I could barely make it through the trailer of Christmas
Story Part two.
Speaker 2: Right. It is one of the worst rated movies I've
ever seen, Like it's like a one point five or
four or something on IMDb. They don't get that bad.
I mean you can't rate it as zero. That means
everybody rates it a one. Yeah, you had one guy
out there who put two And do you know who
plays the dad in that movie? Who? Daniel Stern? So
there you go, there's our crossover Wow, there's our bridge.
Speaker 3: That is awesome. One more quick thing. Yes, Alan Rickman
was considered for the role of Harry.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 3: Alan Rickman, who played of course, Hans Hans Kruber in
die Hard, who also starred McCaulay Culkin's aunt Bonnie Badelia,
who played Holly freaking Gennaro.
Speaker 2: There you go, all ties together. Okay, let's move into production. Okay.
So these masterful movies are Seeing Gold followed by Seeing Gold.
I mean they just don't really There are no throwaway parts.
You don't walk away unless it's you know, you know
you're gonna catch it again in the next two hours
because it's Christmas Day and it's on TNT. But it
is solid gold from beginning to end on both of
these movies, right, without question, one of the most memorable
scenes in a Christmas story is sticking the tongue to
the pole. I g God, Darien, right it is okay.
So the way that they worked that out, the special
effects way that they worked it out. Remember this is
a low budget movie. They hooked up a vacuum cleaner.
They hooked up a vacuum into a pole, right and
painted it. And you see he always comes in from
the side and there's a little tiny hole that they
had in this pole, and so the vacuum would start
and the suction would pull that tongue, so he could
actually pull away and his tongue would stay stuck. Well,
it's the first time they've ever tried something like this.
So the first time that they did it, it literally
sucked his face onto the pole. Now you put his
tongue on it, it sucked his whole mouth in like oh,
turned off, off, turn off, And so they reduced the
power a little bit, got it to where just his
tongue would stick on there, and then they filmed it,
and it took twelve and a half hours to film
that scene. What they were filming in the cold, I mean,
I told you negative twenty four to negative twenty is
where we were. You can see the kid's breath. Yes,
they were wearing period clothing, so there was no lining
in the gloves. I mean, they had little electric socks
and electric warmers that they stuck on them. But these
kids were freezing their butts off. And he had to
shoot for twelve and a half hours.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 2: Then they take the film and they underdevelop it and
he has to call him back and say, Scott, we
gotta shoot that scene again, and he's like, so got
good news you get to film some more and bad
news it's and so they really improved, and the second
time they shot it, they got it done in eleven
and a half hours. Oh my gosh. And at one point,
no kidding, they broke for lunch and as a joke,
all of the other actors left and he was still
stuck to the hole and he's like, wait, guys waiting there.
Speaker 3: Just leave you guys, come back, don't hear me.
Speaker 2: I've always wondered.
Speaker 3: How that worked, because it's clear as day that his
tongue is stuck to that bowlt Oh yeah, you know,
but you're right. You never see it straight on.
Speaker 2: It's always to the side, right, arms a flailing.
Speaker 3: That scene is so funny when the teacher is like,
where's Flick and they're like flick, flick who and then
she comes back and gives them the guilt trip.
Speaker 2: Adults always the same that stuff, but kids know it's
always better not to keep.
Speaker 3: I'm sure the guilt you feel it's far worse than
any punishment. Yeah, I love that. That scene so funny.
Let's talk about Scott Fargas for a second.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, it's not Scott. I thought it was Scott
for the longest time. I also thought it was Scott.
But it's Scott with a U. Yes, yes, Farcas, so
help me. Yellow eyes.
Speaker 3: I love that that line. He does not have yellow eyes.
Speaker 2: No, but people are sure that he does. People will
meet him on the street and they're like, I remember
your yellow eyes. He's like, right, I remember it.
Speaker 3: Okay, then what a great bully though, you know, oh fantastic.
And he's got he's got that laugh and they like
freeze on their tracks.
Speaker 2: You know. I gotta I gotta say that moment is
the top moment in the whole movie for me, because
it is, like, it's so emotionally packed. Ralphie has just
gotten his C plus on the theme that he thought
he was going to get an A plus plus plus
plus plus, even with his bribe of the big basket
of fruit. He still gets a C plus C plus.
Speaker 3: Plus.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Shoot, So he's absolutely devastated walking home alone, doesn't
even bother to walk home with his friends, and gets
that snowball in the face. And he's the only kid
that we don't actually see bullied, like they get Schwartz,
they get Flick, but you don't see this, but it's
that moment. The tears are true and real and the
rage is real, and you see him give it back
to a bully, and I mean like heartstrings. I'm like, ye,
give it him back, and then get Ralphie. And then
when you think that the dad is going to destroy him,
Dad's gonna killed Ralphie.
Speaker 3: Daddy will not kill Ralphie.
Speaker 2: And the mom so subtly O Ralphie got in a
fight today. What oh I saw that the bears and
points it out, gives him the light touch things for
different between me and mom.
Speaker 3: After that, Yeah, great scene.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 3: I want to point out something else to Okay, let's
give it up for our man Flick, who sacrifices himself
for the best betterment of the of the group.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 3: They're like, you come here, and he's like uncle, uncle,
uncle uncle, He's already saying right, and poor Randy's laying
there like a slug.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 3: They go grab him and get up and they but yeah,
f Flinn comes to the rescue of everybody else. I
was going to mention one other thing about the tongue
the tongue pole thing. So because of this scene, a
bunch of kids tried this and learns a hard way
that this really works. Your tongue will stick to railroad ties,
to light poles too, if it's cold enough. You're doug sticking.
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't try this.
Speaker 3: At home, kid.
Speaker 2: You didn't learn it from a Christmas story. You should
have learned it from dumb and dumber.
Speaker 3: Somebody called the fire department dummer.
Speaker 2: Oh, look snow, this movie, as much as it is
little vignettes that are strung together by the idea that
this needs to you know, that he has to get
this red rider be begun. You've got a little orphan
Annie and the Dakota pen drink be sure and drink
your ovaltine. And you've got the lamp, and you've got
the changing of the tire. Oh, FuG I didn't say fudge.
All of these brilliant little vignettes that lead along. But
it's all really about his relationship with his dad, and
his dad who seems to not care unless the kids
are annoying him, you know, and is always frustrated and angry.
And then in the end he's the one who surprises
him and mom by getting in the red Rider. He's
been listening the whole time. He's the only one that
he didn't ask right. He never asked his dad right.
He yesked Sanna, he asked his teacher, he asked his
mom right. He even snuck the advertisement inside the Life
magazine to catch you unaware. Dad comes through.
Speaker 3: Yeah, love it? Okay, d We've got a surely showcase
this week from one of my best buddies from high school.
His name's Chris Bauer. We used to call him Bomber
all the time. He got me in trouble all the
time in Sunday School. He's one of those guys that
could make me laugh. I mean, I just cracked me
up all the time.
Speaker 2: Is this a guy that like hit you in the
head with the cassette tape? Yes?
Speaker 3: Yes, same guy.
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, in the middle of New.
Speaker 3: Mexico, I'm in asleep and he whacked me in the
forehead with the ACDC back in black tape.
Speaker 2: Yes, there you go. The worth of pain.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's right, that's right. Well, here's what he had
to say. He's weighing in on young guns, young guns too,
and Tombstone. The episode we did here in September October.
Speaker 6: Hey guys, it's Chris Bauer or is Jason refers to
me as Bomber. I'm here to give my final judgment
on the Tombstone Young Guns Young Guns two podcasts. I'm
judging these movies on three criteria or abilities, rewatchability, quotability,
and overall entertainability, which includes two important subabilities, recommendability and pausibility.
On rewatchability, this is a dead heat between Tombstone and
Young Guns. Either of these comes on and I'm busy
for the next hour forty seven minutes to two hours
and ten minutes yep. For Young Guns two, I'm surfing
my way through the channel guide and coming back to
it if I don't find anything else. Next quotability. All
three are filled with great one liners and phrases, but
I had to narrow this down to those I regularly
drop on my wife and kids. While Junior, you beck
that queen again, and I'll blow you straight up. That
Wildcat's Aresh is poetic Hall of Fame material. It doesn't
mesh well in everyday scenarios like We've come to a
place where an Indian is lost, and when an Indian
is lost he turns to the spirit world does, which
I have used on many occasions, such as walking into
Costco or listening to my daughter tell me what happened
at school that day. So for this ability, the Belted
Earl has spoken, and I'm giving it to Young Guns,
with Tombstone and Young Guns Too coming in a very
close second. And third, finally, entertainability. Like I said earlier,
this one includes two other very important abilities, recommendability and pausibility.
All three on their own are what I consider entertaining,
and recommendability is high for all of them. As for pausibility,
I could leave Young Guns Too at any point and
go do whatever errand or chores required of me at
that time and be okay. With Tombstone, I would probably
have to wait until the Wyatt and Josie horse chase
scene or any of the Wyatt and Mattie scenes to
pause and tend to my obligations. But Young Guns, it's
only one hundred and forty seven minutes, and when whatever
is required of me rears its ugly head, I'm probably
twenty to sixty minutes into the movie already anyway, so
he can wait until I watch Murphy reap the whirlwind
and hear Doc say the epitaph read only one word pals.
So with all that being said, my final judgment goes
Young Guns number one, followed almost instantly by Tombstone in second,
and Young Guns Number two being the red ass Mexican
greaser who does it with his horse. Thanks guys for
putting on a great podcast which I look forward to
every week. And buenos tardes amigos.
Speaker 2: All right, that was hilarious. That was awesome. I absolutely
love that take. I obviously I disagree and I put
Tombstone one, but I cannot fault him for his logic.
Those love scenes are a big, ugly I sore in
the middle of an otherwise perfect movie.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think he and I saw Young Uns two
in the theater together, and nice, I think we were
actually kind of singing Blaze of Glory in the closing credits.
Speaker 2: So awesome.
Speaker 3: Chris, Thanks so much man. Always good to hear from you.
And stay out of trouble.
Speaker 2: Okay, thanks Chris.
Speaker 3: Okay, So that's gonna do it for part one of
our Home Alone versus a Christmas Story episode, and I
think we're actually gonna drop our second or part two
of this not not a full week away.
Speaker 2: No, we're gonna we're gonna try to get it up
here in a couple of days so that we get
it in before Christmas. You guys, be sure and hit
subscribe or follow if you haven't already, so that you
catch that second part of this episode and Merry Christmas,
Merry Christmas.