WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.120 --> 00:00:01.800 You know you go to you go to like a 2 00:00:01.840 --> 00:00:04.120 doctor's office or a dentist's office, and that they'll have 3 00:00:04.160 --> 00:00:05.719 you sometimes I'll have you fill out a questionnaire. 4 00:00:06.280 --> 00:00:09.039 Yeah, no, not sometimes, fall every. 5 00:00:08.759 --> 00:00:10.640 Time every time I say the same one. 6 00:00:11.320 --> 00:00:14.000 That I have to keep filling this way, and then sorry, 7 00:00:14.039 --> 00:00:16.800 I know you wanted to talk about this thing, but I'm. 8 00:00:16.280 --> 00:00:17.239 Gonna I've triggered you. 9 00:00:17.280 --> 00:00:21.079 I apologize me because I will fill out the thing 10 00:00:21.199 --> 00:00:25.320 ahead of time online. 11 00:00:23.800 --> 00:00:26.000 To save time, forty. 12 00:00:25.679 --> 00:00:29.239 Eight hours in advance, and they still have me fill 13 00:00:29.320 --> 00:00:33.240 out the goddamn like paper for when I get there. 14 00:00:33.759 --> 00:00:38.039 Do you think I have my insurance information memorized? Oh 15 00:00:38.280 --> 00:00:39.960 all right, sorry to answer your question. 16 00:00:40.079 --> 00:00:42.439 Yes, yes, a lot of people just felt seen by that. 17 00:00:42.799 --> 00:00:45.600 But I went to the dentist for my annual checkup. 18 00:00:45.640 --> 00:00:47.240 And I've been going to the dentist by the way 19 00:00:47.280 --> 00:00:50.399 for a decade, like a long time, and there's a 20 00:00:50.439 --> 00:00:52.600 new questionnaire suddenly, and I have to fill out this 21 00:00:52.679 --> 00:00:54.920 questionnaire and I'm like, this is weird. My insurance information 22 00:00:54.960 --> 00:00:57.640 hasn't changed. Everything is fine. And then one of the 23 00:00:57.719 --> 00:01:02.159 questions is what do you look for in a dental visit? 24 00:01:02.840 --> 00:01:04.920 Oh, and I'm like. 25 00:01:07.200 --> 00:01:10.640 Speed and numbness Like that is what I look for 26 00:01:10.760 --> 00:01:13.400 a dental visit, Like I want to be in and 27 00:01:13.439 --> 00:01:14.760 out and feel nothing. 28 00:01:14.920 --> 00:01:17.439 That's hilarious. What are you looking for? And how do 29 00:01:17.519 --> 00:01:17.799 they pay? 30 00:01:17.879 --> 00:01:21.719 Dental encounter and a dental encounter would be even better. 31 00:01:22.040 --> 00:01:25.040 It would be amazing dental visit or dental. 32 00:01:24.920 --> 00:01:28.519 Experience, particularly because the dentist set my office I got 33 00:01:28.560 --> 00:01:30.280 I kind of got shifted to a new guy and. 34 00:01:30.400 --> 00:01:31.599 And he's cute. 35 00:01:32.040 --> 00:01:32.920 Oh well, there you go. 36 00:01:33.519 --> 00:01:35.920 Like I'm telling you, I'm looking at during my dental visit. 37 00:01:36.040 --> 00:01:38.519 That's a good doctor to be cute. You don't want 38 00:01:38.560 --> 00:01:40.959 your proctologists to be cute. You want your dentist to 39 00:01:41.000 --> 00:01:41.359 be cute. 40 00:01:41.400 --> 00:01:43.480 Yeah, especially because let me tell you something, my mouth 41 00:01:43.560 --> 00:01:46.319 is clean. He is impressed every time he goes looks 42 00:01:46.319 --> 00:01:46.599 in there. 43 00:01:46.680 --> 00:01:48.120 Yeah, she is sparkling. 44 00:01:48.280 --> 00:01:51.000 I have a whole fucking routine. There are there are implements. 45 00:01:51.599 --> 00:01:54.239 Paul, I bet your asshole is beautiful. 46 00:01:55.799 --> 00:01:56.760 Also sparkling. 47 00:01:57.120 --> 00:02:13.360 Also sparkling. Hey, I'm Paul America. 48 00:02:13.560 --> 00:02:15.719 And this is that aged Well. 49 00:02:15.719 --> 00:02:17.520 Yesterday's pop culture. 50 00:02:17.159 --> 00:02:19.599 Today and it's a new month, so it's a new 51 00:02:19.639 --> 00:02:21.280 theme Erica and the theme. 52 00:02:21.199 --> 00:02:24.360 Is ooh is it hot in here, Paul. That made 53 00:02:24.360 --> 00:02:26.280 it sound sexier than I've mended to And this is 54 00:02:26.319 --> 00:02:28.319 not This is not sexy hot, this is hold on, 55 00:02:28.400 --> 00:02:31.840 let me do that again. Yeah, oh boy, these dog 56 00:02:31.960 --> 00:02:33.759 days of summer sure are hot. 57 00:02:34.360 --> 00:02:36.199 I'm in my tank top and and I got my 58 00:02:36.240 --> 00:02:39.039 towel here again because it's sweaty. We are doing summer vacation. 59 00:02:39.520 --> 00:02:42.639 We're just vacation movies for all of August. And the 60 00:02:42.639 --> 00:02:44.759 reason we are doing this Erica is twofold. One we 61 00:02:44.759 --> 00:02:46.840 thought it would be fun, which is the most important reason. 62 00:02:46.840 --> 00:02:50.639 But two, we are going on vacation in September, and 63 00:02:50.680 --> 00:02:53.759 we want to tell everyone that right now. So come September, 64 00:02:53.840 --> 00:02:56.319 there will be no new episodes of that age well 65 00:02:56.680 --> 00:02:58.599 on the main feed or the Patreon it's going to 66 00:02:58.639 --> 00:03:01.800 be radio silence. If you are a Patreon member, you 67 00:03:01.840 --> 00:03:03.919 will not be charged for the month of September because 68 00:03:03.960 --> 00:03:05.560 we are taking it off. 69 00:03:05.800 --> 00:03:07.840 We're we charging, We're going on Vaca. 70 00:03:08.000 --> 00:03:10.199 We're going on Vaca. We're gathering stories, We're gonna be 71 00:03:10.240 --> 00:03:12.560 thinking about you. If I have some time, maybe I'll 72 00:03:12.560 --> 00:03:15.319 make some bonus content for the patrons. But just so 73 00:03:15.360 --> 00:03:18.159 you know, oh he will, you know he will you guys. 74 00:03:18.319 --> 00:03:21.599 You know I won't, well, Paul does that. I'll be 75 00:03:21.680 --> 00:03:22.960 out eating and shopping. 76 00:03:26.199 --> 00:03:26.680 But we want it. 77 00:03:26.719 --> 00:03:28.719 We're going to tell you this every week this month, 78 00:03:28.759 --> 00:03:30.840 so you know it's coming up. You could always download 79 00:03:30.879 --> 00:03:31.719 some back episodes. 80 00:03:31.759 --> 00:03:32.199 We listen. 81 00:03:32.280 --> 00:03:35.360 We will be back with you in October four fright month, 82 00:03:35.400 --> 00:03:37.960 Halloween month, everyone but Paul's favorite month. 83 00:03:40.360 --> 00:03:41.039 All right, Erica. 84 00:03:41.120 --> 00:03:44.199 So before we get to our first summer vacation movie, 85 00:03:44.319 --> 00:03:46.479 we do have a five star Apple podcast review. 86 00:03:46.719 --> 00:03:48.159 Would you like to read? Or shall I read? 87 00:03:48.280 --> 00:03:49.360 Oh? Can I read this one? 88 00:03:49.439 --> 00:03:50.680 Please? You sound excited? 89 00:03:51.280 --> 00:03:52.960 Well, because the title has me excited. 90 00:03:53.080 --> 00:03:54.080 Okay, okay. 91 00:03:54.120 --> 00:03:57.680 Today's review comes from Joe Anne Rose and the title 92 00:03:57.759 --> 00:04:01.479 is you had Me at Psycho. Oh that's gonna be 93 00:04:01.520 --> 00:04:03.080 the first line of my marriage moouse. 94 00:04:04.080 --> 00:04:06.879 You had me at Psycho and the and the diarrhea attack, 95 00:04:06.919 --> 00:04:09.360 in the bathroom attack. 96 00:04:09.800 --> 00:04:13.840 I do, all right? Title is you had Me at Psycho. 97 00:04:14.520 --> 00:04:17.000 I stumbled across this podcast a few months ago, and 98 00:04:17.040 --> 00:04:20.399 I'm so glad I did. All other podcasts are dead 99 00:04:20.439 --> 00:04:24.439 to me, as dead dead, I say, as I worked 100 00:04:24.439 --> 00:04:27.680 through the extensive back catalog. I love that I can 101 00:04:27.759 --> 00:04:32.439 equally enjoy coverage of movies I've both seen and never seen. Okay, 102 00:04:32.920 --> 00:04:35.759 Erica and Paul pulled me in with Psycho, and I've 103 00:04:35.800 --> 00:04:39.720 been openly cackling ever since. Oh, Joe and Rose, a 104 00:04:39.800 --> 00:04:40.680 person after. 105 00:04:40.480 --> 00:04:44.000 My own heart, absolutely openly cackling. It might should be 106 00:04:44.000 --> 00:04:46.920 maybe like the next tagline for our show that aged well. 107 00:04:46.759 --> 00:04:49.560 Openly cackling, cackling like a freak. 108 00:04:52.560 --> 00:04:53.000 I like that. 109 00:04:53.120 --> 00:04:55.120 Joanne notes that you can you can enjoy coverage of 110 00:04:55.160 --> 00:04:57.519 movies you've both seen and have not seen. That's right, 111 00:04:57.639 --> 00:04:59.279 that's part of that. It's part of the magic potion 112 00:04:59.360 --> 00:05:02.160 of this podcast. They'll tell you what happened in the movie. 113 00:05:02.240 --> 00:05:03.240 Don't worry about it. 114 00:05:03.319 --> 00:05:06.439 Don't worry about if you've never seen The Last Unicorn. 115 00:05:06.639 --> 00:05:07.759 Yeah, we got you. 116 00:05:08.040 --> 00:05:08.240 Yeah. 117 00:05:08.279 --> 00:05:09.480 I mean, we may not be able to tell you 118 00:05:09.560 --> 00:05:11.639 exactly what happened in the movie because it is an 119 00:05:11.759 --> 00:05:13.800 LSD trip, but we'll. 120 00:05:13.639 --> 00:05:14.079 Do our best. 121 00:05:14.160 --> 00:05:15.759 Ghost is humanly possible. 122 00:05:17.199 --> 00:05:19.319 Joe Anne Rose, thank you so much for this review. 123 00:05:19.480 --> 00:05:20.079 We loved it. 124 00:05:20.120 --> 00:05:22.199 If you would like at Dindel Tope Bag, all you 125 00:05:22.240 --> 00:05:24.399 have to do is go ahead and email us or 126 00:05:24.439 --> 00:05:27.560 contact us on social media and let us know where 127 00:05:27.600 --> 00:05:29.839 to send it and I'll send it off for you, Erica, 128 00:05:30.480 --> 00:05:34.639 What is this the first? The first film of Vacation 129 00:05:34.839 --> 00:05:36.000 Month two thousand and four. 130 00:05:36.079 --> 00:05:40.279 Today's film is the nineteen ninety eight comedy The Parent Trap. 131 00:05:41.000 --> 00:05:41.480 All Right. 132 00:05:41.600 --> 00:05:46.279 The Parent Trap was requested by Fay Sidney, Mara, Sawthena, Justine, 133 00:05:46.839 --> 00:05:50.160 jan Kessler, Jenny and still more of those peoples whose 134 00:05:50.199 --> 00:05:52.879 names are simply not in their social media profiles. I'm 135 00:05:52.920 --> 00:05:54.639 on the verge of doing a deep dive on these people. 136 00:05:54.680 --> 00:05:58.040 I'm just going to I'm going to get really personal looking. 137 00:05:57.839 --> 00:06:01.759 Around, maybe find out someone really random or like like 138 00:06:01.759 --> 00:06:06.639 like like Carl Rove our show, and you're like, huh, Karl. 139 00:06:06.399 --> 00:06:08.439 Rove is an incredible pull for that. 140 00:06:08.439 --> 00:06:09.800 That's a weird one. 141 00:06:10.000 --> 00:06:11.199 Yeah, that's a weird fit. 142 00:06:11.360 --> 00:06:13.279 But you know what, people like what they like. 143 00:06:13.519 --> 00:06:17.000 People have layers. Actually, I don't think Karl Rove has layers. 144 00:06:17.040 --> 00:06:19.680 I think he is just shit all the way down. 145 00:06:19.839 --> 00:06:22.279 We are for everyone, even war criminals. 146 00:06:21.839 --> 00:06:22.240 That's right. 147 00:06:22.839 --> 00:06:26.279 We are for everybody, all right. So The Parent Trap 148 00:06:26.639 --> 00:06:30.040 was written by Nancy Meyers, David Swift, and Charles Schier, 149 00:06:30.439 --> 00:06:33.120 based on the nineteen sixty one film of the same name, 150 00:06:33.160 --> 00:06:35.800 which was in turn based upon the novel Lisa and 151 00:06:35.920 --> 00:06:37.879 Latti by Eric Kostner. 152 00:06:38.279 --> 00:06:40.720 The fact that this is based on a German novel, 153 00:06:40.800 --> 00:06:47.680 a German novel, makes this all makes sense. Oh my god, 154 00:06:48.680 --> 00:06:51.920 that novel was written in nineteen forty nine. 155 00:06:52.040 --> 00:06:53.920 Oh no, post war. 156 00:06:54.279 --> 00:06:58.079 Germy Okay, okay, okay, I'm getting. 157 00:06:57.800 --> 00:07:00.000 Making more sense, making more sense. 158 00:07:00.600 --> 00:07:03.600 The pieces are coming together now I understand where this 159 00:07:03.680 --> 00:07:06.279 comes from. 160 00:07:06.519 --> 00:07:10.120 The film was directed by Nancy Myers and stars Lindsay Lohan, 161 00:07:10.319 --> 00:07:14.240 Dennis Quaid, Natasha Richardson, Lisa and Walter, Simon Kunz and 162 00:07:14.240 --> 00:07:15.720 Elaine Hendrix. 163 00:07:16.160 --> 00:07:21.160 The parent Trap is Lindsay Lohan's feature film debut, as 164 00:07:21.199 --> 00:07:25.360 well as Nancy myers Is directorial debut. 165 00:07:25.680 --> 00:07:26.439 Wow wow. 166 00:07:26.519 --> 00:07:30.079 I will say that I think, upon viewing it going forward, 167 00:07:30.160 --> 00:07:33.160 I would have had more confidence in Lindsay Lohan's career 168 00:07:33.199 --> 00:07:35.160 longevity than maybe Nancy Myers. 169 00:07:35.199 --> 00:07:35.680 No shade. 170 00:07:35.680 --> 00:07:38.079 I love Nancy meyers movies, but I don't know that 171 00:07:38.120 --> 00:07:41.480 the direction of this really really covers all the holes up. 172 00:07:42.959 --> 00:07:43.319 Oh. 173 00:07:43.959 --> 00:07:46.680 I have one major complaint about the direction of the film, 174 00:07:46.680 --> 00:07:49.560 and that is only that the back half is too long. 175 00:07:49.879 --> 00:07:52.240 Like see, I think the front half is too long. 176 00:07:52.360 --> 00:07:54.240 This movie shouldn't be two hours long. 177 00:07:54.319 --> 00:07:56.879 No, it should be ninety minutes, maybe eighty. 178 00:07:57.399 --> 00:08:00.040 It is a two hour in like five minute. 179 00:07:59.720 --> 00:08:01.279 Movie, and it's way too long. 180 00:08:01.680 --> 00:08:04.920 Like, I know, look spoilers, I know these parents are 181 00:08:04.959 --> 00:08:07.079 getting back together. Call the parent trap. 182 00:08:07.279 --> 00:08:10.439 We know they're twins. They're played by the same actress. 183 00:08:12.319 --> 00:08:14.199 It's not a reveal, you know what. 184 00:08:14.240 --> 00:08:17.040 We can speed some of this ship up. The fact 185 00:08:17.439 --> 00:08:21.480 the amount of time these two spend not acknowledging the 186 00:08:21.519 --> 00:08:27.319 fact that they are identical, unhinged. The adults around them, 187 00:08:27.399 --> 00:08:30.240 not a single adult around them. I'm looking at you 188 00:08:30.399 --> 00:08:31.560 Jannis from Friends. 189 00:08:31.879 --> 00:08:35.440 I'm looking at you Polly Holiday like kiss migrets. 190 00:08:35.360 --> 00:08:37.440 To like look at these girls and be like, we 191 00:08:37.559 --> 00:08:40.440 have to call your parents. Something is something. 192 00:08:40.120 --> 00:08:44.000 Is happening, Something truly odd is going on here. 193 00:08:44.159 --> 00:08:46.279 I look, I don't want to I don't want to 194 00:08:46.360 --> 00:08:48.519 say your parents are at fault here. Maybe there was 195 00:08:48.559 --> 00:08:51.320 a there was a sperm bank issue. We need to 196 00:08:51.360 --> 00:08:53.480 but somehow we have to figure this ship out. 197 00:08:53.679 --> 00:08:53.919 Yeah. 198 00:08:54.240 --> 00:08:57.440 Are these the worst parents in recorded cinematic history? 199 00:08:57.759 --> 00:09:01.600 Oh? Good question, Paul, No, I'm sure, No, there are 200 00:09:01.679 --> 00:09:03.919 worse ones. I'm sure Roll Dahl has worse ones. 201 00:09:04.080 --> 00:09:07.159 Sure, sure, All right, Erica, this next point has nothing 202 00:09:07.200 --> 00:09:09.360 to do with anything. But during research for this, I 203 00:09:09.360 --> 00:09:11.279 found out that Dennis Quaid at least at one point 204 00:09:11.360 --> 00:09:13.679 had a podcast called The Denissance. And if I have 205 00:09:13.720 --> 00:09:16.120 to know that, you and everyone else listening have to 206 00:09:16.159 --> 00:09:16.559 know it too. 207 00:09:17.720 --> 00:09:22.840 Dennisance, please tell me it was him talking about the Renaissance. 208 00:09:22.919 --> 00:09:26.200 I did zero research on it. It was so upsetting 209 00:09:26.240 --> 00:09:28.120 to me that I even know it. I'm sure it's 210 00:09:28.159 --> 00:09:31.600 about him and his career, Like I'm googling it. 211 00:09:31.639 --> 00:09:33.639 I'm googling it. You think I'm not going to google 212 00:09:33.679 --> 00:09:39.159 that pole and so you tell me that information, Dennisance. 213 00:09:39.679 --> 00:09:42.679 Oh, it's it's just Dennis a a nce. It's there's 214 00:09:42.720 --> 00:09:44.679 none of the fancy AI stuff that's in the actual 215 00:09:44.679 --> 00:09:45.440 world Renaissance. 216 00:09:45.720 --> 00:09:49.200 Okay, well I've misspelled it terribly. And you know what's 217 00:09:49.200 --> 00:09:51.360 coming up for me is the Dennis System from It's 218 00:09:51.399 --> 00:09:55.240 Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Oh here it is introducing the 219 00:09:55.279 --> 00:10:00.720 Dennissance with Dennis Quaid and Jared Gustat. Okay, it is 220 00:10:00.759 --> 00:10:04.960 actually about his interests. He is a jet pilot, a 221 00:10:05.000 --> 00:10:09.840 low handicapped golfer, an armchair historian. He has powered a 222 00:10:09.960 --> 00:10:11.080 NASCAR around him. 223 00:10:11.240 --> 00:10:14.480 Is an armchair historian that sounds like someone who doesn't 224 00:10:14.519 --> 00:10:16.399 fucking believe actual historians. 225 00:10:17.200 --> 00:10:18.799 I don't care for that at all. Also, now they 226 00:10:18.879 --> 00:10:19.679 know he's a jet pilot. 227 00:10:19.720 --> 00:10:21.720 We do know how Dennis quad will eventually die, So 228 00:10:21.799 --> 00:10:23.639 I guess that's something we can cross off our Yeah, 229 00:10:23.639 --> 00:10:24.639 are wondering list. 230 00:10:24.440 --> 00:10:27.720 The middleweight boxer. It keeps going and can change a 231 00:10:27.759 --> 00:10:30.159 diaper in twenty seconds according. 232 00:10:29.679 --> 00:10:33.159 To this guess what, guess what? No, you can't, No, 233 00:10:33.399 --> 00:10:36.000 you can't. I have changed many diapers. It is not 234 00:10:36.080 --> 00:10:39.000 possible to clean a child and change a diaper in 235 00:10:39.039 --> 00:10:41.879 twenty seconds. That's bullshit and I don't believe it. 236 00:10:41.919 --> 00:10:43.840 But he has one with Anthony Fauci. 237 00:10:44.080 --> 00:10:46.120 Oh my god, I'm looking it is. 238 00:10:46.399 --> 00:10:48.840 Oh oh he has one with the MyPillow guy. 239 00:10:49.000 --> 00:10:49.480 Oh see. 240 00:10:49.600 --> 00:10:52.200 Yeah, remember when Dennis Quaid was kind of like cool 241 00:10:52.240 --> 00:10:54.080 and we thought he was the same Quaid And as 242 00:10:54.120 --> 00:10:56.759 he's gotten older, he's he's starting to pickle his brain. 243 00:10:56.519 --> 00:10:56.960 A little bit. 244 00:10:57.120 --> 00:10:59.919 Oh No, I don't know anything about him except that 245 00:11:00.080 --> 00:11:02.399 I will admit to finding him very attractive. 246 00:11:02.480 --> 00:11:04.679 Well, of course he's Dennis fucking Quaid. Is he our 247 00:11:04.720 --> 00:11:06.039 hottest Dennis? 248 00:11:06.080 --> 00:11:08.960 Good question? Again I'm thinking of It's always funny in 249 00:11:08.960 --> 00:11:13.000 Philadelphia and that Dennis. But that's a fictional Dennis is hotter. 250 00:11:13.120 --> 00:11:16.840 I think Glenn Howardton is perhaps hotter than the current 251 00:11:16.960 --> 00:11:20.120 day Dennis Quaid, the Dennis Quaid who was in the 252 00:11:20.120 --> 00:11:23.039 film The Big Easy, which is a huge part of 253 00:11:23.080 --> 00:11:27.919 my burgeoning sexuality. That Dennis Quaid has a place in 254 00:11:28.000 --> 00:11:30.840 my heart and in my libido forever. He has one 255 00:11:30.879 --> 00:11:34.559 with Gary Busey, Paul, he hated Gary Bucy. 256 00:11:35.200 --> 00:11:37.440 Wait, I have another hot Dennis. Dennis Haysburg. 257 00:11:37.720 --> 00:11:39.600 Oh, Dennis Haysberg is hot. 258 00:11:38.919 --> 00:11:41.720 That's good. That's a hot Dennisnis. 259 00:11:41.879 --> 00:11:43.159 We have gone way off track. 260 00:11:43.519 --> 00:11:45.360 Hey, stay here for the hot Dennis. 261 00:11:45.399 --> 00:11:47.960 Watch talk about a dennisance. 262 00:11:48.159 --> 00:11:51.440 I can't believe he has a podcast, genuinely, Paul, there's 263 00:11:51.480 --> 00:11:55.279 only like twelve episodes. He just fucking lost interest in me. 264 00:11:59.159 --> 00:12:03.759 The Parent has an eighty seven percent critical rating on 265 00:12:03.840 --> 00:12:07.559 Rotten Tomatoes and a seventy percent audience score. It has 266 00:12:07.600 --> 00:12:10.440 a seventy six percent rating on cherry Picks. 267 00:12:10.720 --> 00:12:12.679 I'm basically fine with that. Look. Look. 268 00:12:12.799 --> 00:12:16.279 Unlike last week's movie, which was a movie with children 269 00:12:16.279 --> 00:12:18.240 that was really four tweens and adults, this is a 270 00:12:18.320 --> 00:12:22.320 kid's movie. It is one hundred percent pitched at like 271 00:12:22.960 --> 00:12:27.480 I would say eight to eleven year old girls, which 272 00:12:27.519 --> 00:12:29.559 is fine. That's not a criticism at all. I'm just 273 00:12:29.559 --> 00:12:31.919 saying that, like for a kids movie. Yeah, I think 274 00:12:31.960 --> 00:12:35.120 eighty seven percent is fine. Lindsay Lohan is as good 275 00:12:35.120 --> 00:12:39.000 as I think any literal twelve year old actor could 276 00:12:39.000 --> 00:12:41.480 be in the in the role. Like, I don't know 277 00:12:41.600 --> 00:12:45.240 where there's room for improvement given the skill level possible 278 00:12:45.240 --> 00:12:47.240 for someone that she's wonderful. 279 00:12:47.600 --> 00:12:51.039 Yes, movie like this is this is the best I've 280 00:12:51.039 --> 00:12:52.240 ever seen Lindsay Lohan. 281 00:12:52.639 --> 00:12:55.039 Yeah, there are moments of just like the child acting 282 00:12:55.159 --> 00:12:57.759 kind of thing of like like hitting the stressed words 283 00:12:57.799 --> 00:12:58.159 too hard. 284 00:12:58.159 --> 00:12:59.559 That's that's my only criticism. 285 00:12:59.799 --> 00:13:02.440 But she's better in this than she is in Mean 286 00:13:02.480 --> 00:13:05.399 Girls and This than she is in anything I've ever 287 00:13:05.399 --> 00:13:05.879 seen her. 288 00:13:05.799 --> 00:13:10.440 In Herbie the love Bug Slander here on this podcast. 289 00:13:10.399 --> 00:13:13.240 This is the Canyons. By the way, I did watch. 290 00:13:13.000 --> 00:13:15.720 That movie I Know Who Killed Me where she also 291 00:13:15.840 --> 00:13:19.320 plays identical twins spoiler for I Know Who Killed Me? 292 00:13:20.279 --> 00:13:24.200 That's right, she does. She's an identical twin setish Yeah, 293 00:13:24.240 --> 00:13:26.399 I know, Honestly, I'm not kidding. This is I saw 294 00:13:26.440 --> 00:13:28.840 her in this and I was like, holy shit, you're 295 00:13:29.480 --> 00:13:32.000 great in like, this is the best I've ever seen 296 00:13:32.039 --> 00:13:32.279 her be. 297 00:13:32.840 --> 00:13:35.879 You can see why she why she popped, why she 298 00:13:35.919 --> 00:13:36.440 became big. 299 00:13:36.600 --> 00:13:37.320 She's incredible. 300 00:13:37.440 --> 00:13:39.559 Some of the audience feels low unless you're showing this 301 00:13:39.600 --> 00:13:41.519 to people for whom the movie is simply not four. 302 00:13:41.799 --> 00:13:44.399 I was thinking the same thing, like, look, I really 303 00:13:44.480 --> 00:13:46.879 enjoyed this movie, Paul. I cried like twice. 304 00:13:47.279 --> 00:13:47.679 Uh huh. 305 00:13:47.720 --> 00:13:48.919 Yeah, I may have cried like. 306 00:13:48.879 --> 00:13:51.600 Three times watching this, Like this movie got to me. 307 00:13:51.879 --> 00:13:55.320 I did see Inside Out two this week, and I 308 00:13:55.360 --> 00:13:58.279 actually can't remember anything but crying during Inside Out Too. 309 00:13:58.600 --> 00:14:01.639 Yeah, I haven't seen Inside Out Too. You and I 310 00:14:01.679 --> 00:14:04.320 saw Inside Out one together and we were we were 311 00:14:04.360 --> 00:14:05.480 a disaster. Yeah. 312 00:14:05.480 --> 00:14:06.919 If you want to hear more about my thoughts on 313 00:14:06.960 --> 00:14:10.240 Inside Out Too, subscribe to the Patreon. But I had 314 00:14:10.240 --> 00:14:12.519 a couple tears during this, a couple a couple teary 315 00:14:12.519 --> 00:14:15.960 eyed moments, nothing compared to the full sobbing session. 316 00:14:16.120 --> 00:14:17.720 Agreed, Inside Out Too. 317 00:14:17.799 --> 00:14:20.639 Agreed, no ugly crying during this, but like, yeah, no, 318 00:14:20.720 --> 00:14:25.440 I definitely every single time these girls were reunited with 319 00:14:25.519 --> 00:14:29.000 their parents for the first time. So I was just like, 320 00:14:29.440 --> 00:14:31.240 I know, this is all shades of wrong, but I 321 00:14:31.279 --> 00:14:31.919 really love it. 322 00:14:32.080 --> 00:14:34.320 Yeah, it's so sweet, all right? 323 00:14:34.399 --> 00:14:36.840 Erica? When did you first see The Parent Trap? 324 00:14:37.200 --> 00:14:40.159 Last night? Around ten pm? Which is why I come 325 00:14:40.240 --> 00:14:42.320 complaining so much about it being too long because I 326 00:14:42.320 --> 00:14:44.519 did not get to bed till late, because I was, like, 327 00:14:44.639 --> 00:14:46.879 Jesus fucking christis, movie's over two hours? 328 00:14:47.360 --> 00:14:48.000 God damn it. 329 00:14:48.159 --> 00:14:51.679 I should have started earlier. How about you, Paul, when 330 00:14:51.720 --> 00:14:53.080 did you first see The Parent Trap? 331 00:14:53.240 --> 00:14:55.399 I had never seen this one. I did see the 332 00:14:55.480 --> 00:14:57.240 nineteen sixty one one growing up. 333 00:14:57.320 --> 00:14:58.480 You saw the Hailey Mills one. 334 00:14:58.559 --> 00:14:59.519 I saw the Haley Mills one. 335 00:14:59.519 --> 00:15:03.799 I remember. I genuinely don't remember anything outside of a 336 00:15:03.879 --> 00:15:08.200 general like like enjoyment of the film. Yeah, but I 337 00:15:08.240 --> 00:15:09.159 saw this one this week. 338 00:15:09.240 --> 00:15:11.240 I should say I've never seen the Haley Mills one. 339 00:15:11.240 --> 00:15:13.960 This is my very first parent trap situation. 340 00:15:14.240 --> 00:15:16.360 Yeah, you were a parent trap, Virgin, I was. 341 00:15:16.440 --> 00:15:18.879 It was a parent trap. Virgin and Lindsay Lohan double 342 00:15:18.919 --> 00:15:19.240 team me. 343 00:15:19.440 --> 00:15:21.480 She sure did, she sure did, She got it done. 344 00:15:21.559 --> 00:15:26.519 Nancy Myers has this gift for making unbelievably cheesy things. 345 00:15:26.799 --> 00:15:29.720 Yeah, like sincere and also wealth porn. 346 00:15:30.039 --> 00:15:35.919 And wealth poor. The wealth porn in this movie is excellent. 347 00:15:35.600 --> 00:15:41.960 It's insane, excellent Erica. The tagline the tagline for the 348 00:15:42.000 --> 00:15:45.240 Parent Trap was twice the fun, double the trouble. 349 00:15:45.679 --> 00:15:47.279 It sounds like a gum commercial. 350 00:15:47.320 --> 00:15:49.000 I was gonna say, it feels like double mint may 351 00:15:49.039 --> 00:15:50.360 have a may have a case here. 352 00:15:50.639 --> 00:15:56.279 Maybe remember those double man conversionals. I think it's fine. 353 00:15:56.440 --> 00:15:59.399 It's fine. Shall I read the iTunes synopsis? 354 00:15:59.559 --> 00:15:59.879 Sure? 355 00:16:00.759 --> 00:16:02.519 In this update of a nineteen. 356 00:16:02.279 --> 00:16:05.440 Sixty one film, twins Annie and Halle, both played by 357 00:16:05.440 --> 00:16:09.039 Lindsay Lohan, are strangers until happenstance unites them. 358 00:16:09.320 --> 00:16:11.159 Just that right there? Like wait, what? 359 00:16:12.159 --> 00:16:14.360 Until happenstance unites them? 360 00:16:14.799 --> 00:16:18.200 The preteen girls, divorced parents Nick played by Dennis Quaid 361 00:16:18.360 --> 00:16:21.879 and Elizabeth Natasha Richardson, are living on opposite sides of 362 00:16:21.879 --> 00:16:25.399 the Atlantic, each with one child. After meeting at Camp 363 00:16:25.600 --> 00:16:29.720 American Halle and British raised Annie engineer and identity swap, 364 00:16:29.919 --> 00:16:32.159 giving both the chance to spend time with the parent 365 00:16:32.200 --> 00:16:35.519 they've missed. If the scheme works, it might just make 366 00:16:35.519 --> 00:16:38.399 the family whole again. We make the family whole for 367 00:16:38.440 --> 00:16:40.120 the first time. Let's be clear about. 368 00:16:39.879 --> 00:16:43.639 That, Paul, Do you have an actual synopsis for the 369 00:16:43.639 --> 00:16:44.240 Barent Trap? 370 00:16:44.440 --> 00:16:47.639 The actual synopsis is where is the settlement? I want 371 00:16:47.679 --> 00:16:49.639 to I want to know who the judge was. I 372 00:16:49.679 --> 00:16:51.720 want to know what cases were cited in the past 373 00:16:51.759 --> 00:16:53.000 to allow this to happen. 374 00:16:53.200 --> 00:16:53.960 And I want that. 375 00:16:53.919 --> 00:16:56.759 So I can bring a case. I can sue the 376 00:16:57.360 --> 00:17:00.440 whatever state allowed this, California, I supposed to be. This 377 00:17:00.440 --> 00:17:02.039 can never happen to another set of children. 378 00:17:02.799 --> 00:17:04.599 It might have been British law. For all we know, 379 00:17:04.640 --> 00:17:06.039 they could have been. We don't know if they were 380 00:17:06.079 --> 00:17:07.359 on their way to New York or on their way 381 00:17:07.400 --> 00:17:08.400 to London when they met. 382 00:17:08.559 --> 00:17:11.359 Well, we know that she left, which implies they were 383 00:17:11.359 --> 00:17:11.920 in the States. 384 00:17:12.079 --> 00:17:13.640 Ah, they were in the States. A good call. 385 00:17:13.799 --> 00:17:14.279 Yeah call. 386 00:17:14.599 --> 00:17:16.240 Oh, then it's our fault. Then we did this. 387 00:17:16.440 --> 00:17:16.640 Yeah. 388 00:17:16.680 --> 00:17:19.200 And it also implies that in the movie, it's clear 389 00:17:19.240 --> 00:17:22.720 that she left on a whim. So was she pregnant 390 00:17:22.720 --> 00:17:25.599 when that happened. The whole timeline makes no sense. 391 00:17:25.759 --> 00:17:29.519 You know, she definitely gave birth in the States, because 392 00:17:29.599 --> 00:17:32.480 Chessie knows that there's two kids. 393 00:17:32.559 --> 00:17:35.319 Well, everybody knows there's two kids, apparently except the kids. 394 00:17:35.720 --> 00:17:37.680 I don't know. I don't do you think the British 395 00:17:37.720 --> 00:17:41.240 butler knows. I don't think the British butler knows. 396 00:17:41.359 --> 00:17:45.359 He is not confused when he finds out he is overcome. 397 00:17:45.960 --> 00:17:48.160 Look, my speedo king rolls with the punches. 398 00:17:48.400 --> 00:17:51.279 He is a speedo king. You're straight speedo king by. 399 00:17:51.160 --> 00:17:55.039 The right, great speedo king rolls with the punches. My 400 00:17:55.160 --> 00:18:00.559 glorious leather clad butler is like, oh, there's two of you. Fine, 401 00:18:00.680 --> 00:18:03.880 I'm cool with it. I'm like, let's go. Let's do this. 402 00:18:05.480 --> 00:18:08.799 All right, everyone stick around. We are gonna come right 403 00:18:08.839 --> 00:18:12.240 back after a couple messages. For all non patrons. If 404 00:18:12.279 --> 00:18:14.039 you don't want any ads, all you gotta do is 405 00:18:14.079 --> 00:18:16.000 go sign up for our Patreon at three, five or 406 00:18:16.000 --> 00:18:18.640 ten dollars level and you will get ad free episodes. 407 00:18:18.640 --> 00:18:21.240 For the rest of you, We love you too. Just 408 00:18:21.279 --> 00:18:22.759 sit here and listen to these ads. By the way, 409 00:18:22.759 --> 00:18:24.400 I got an ad last week served to me on 410 00:18:24.400 --> 00:18:28.240 our own podcast for the number one imported Italian charcuterie board, 411 00:18:28.680 --> 00:18:29.960 and I was like, yes. 412 00:18:30.559 --> 00:18:31.720 Yes, that is it. 413 00:18:32.480 --> 00:18:34.799 The algorithm has you figured. 414 00:18:34.480 --> 00:18:37.599 Me out, So stick around. 415 00:18:37.599 --> 00:18:39.519 We're gonna come right back and take you through the 416 00:18:39.599 --> 00:18:52.440 parent trap, and we're back. The Parent Trap opens over 417 00:18:52.519 --> 00:18:55.519 scenes of a wedding on the Queen Elizabeth two Nat 418 00:18:55.599 --> 00:19:00.400 King Coles l is for the Way You Look Me. 419 00:19:00.680 --> 00:19:04.319 He plays and we see two people getting married. Did 420 00:19:04.359 --> 00:19:07.640 you notice so this is canonically nineteen eighty six. None 421 00:19:07.680 --> 00:19:09.640 of these outfits look like they're from nineteen eighty six. 422 00:19:09.759 --> 00:19:11.880 The main woman that's dancing on the floor looks like 423 00:19:11.920 --> 00:19:14.240 she's wearing Baby's costume from the end of Dirty Dancing. 424 00:19:14.319 --> 00:19:15.839 It is peach and flowy. 425 00:19:16.240 --> 00:19:19.039 It is very like nineteen forties. Yeah, again, because I 426 00:19:19.039 --> 00:19:21.720 haven't seen the original, maybe they're like doing something reminiscent 427 00:19:21.759 --> 00:19:24.920 of the first film if it's a callback. The funny 428 00:19:24.920 --> 00:19:26.519 thing about this whole sequence to me is you can't 429 00:19:26.519 --> 00:19:29.440 see their faces, which means at one point they get 430 00:19:29.480 --> 00:19:31.400 like just enough of the face where I'm like, I'm 431 00:19:31.480 --> 00:19:34.480 ninety percent sure that it really is Dennis Quaid. Yeah, 432 00:19:34.480 --> 00:19:37.880 but that is one hundred percent not Natasha Richardson. Is 433 00:19:37.920 --> 00:19:40.640 it that they couldn't get Natasha Richardson for these scenes? 434 00:19:40.680 --> 00:19:43.039 And so they were like, well, just not show their faces. 435 00:19:43.119 --> 00:19:44.799 She was in rehearsals for Cabaret. 436 00:19:45.119 --> 00:19:46.200 Oh is that it? No? 437 00:19:46.200 --> 00:19:48.039 No, No, I'm just making it up. 438 00:19:48.240 --> 00:19:50.319 I would have been really funny. I was like, wait 439 00:19:50.319 --> 00:19:53.400 a minute, why, Like why aren't they showing their faces. 440 00:19:53.839 --> 00:19:55.640 My theory, and I'm pretty sure I'm right, is that 441 00:19:55.759 --> 00:19:59.920 is only occasionally Dennis Quaid. I'm definitely never in a 442 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:03.000 Tasha Rigitson in any of those ship sequences. 443 00:20:03.200 --> 00:20:05.200 All right, So we see the bride in the groom 444 00:20:05.440 --> 00:20:10.640 signing the marriage license, Vito culturalist Nick James, and artist 445 00:20:10.759 --> 00:20:11.720 Elizabeth Parker? 446 00:20:12.000 --> 00:20:15.000 Which of those is more embarrassing? You know? Like sometimes 447 00:20:15.160 --> 00:20:17.279 like for example, when you're at the goddamn doctor's office 448 00:20:17.279 --> 00:20:19.079 and they're like, what is your job? And I'm like, 449 00:20:19.119 --> 00:20:20.880 why do you care? You're fixing my teeth? 450 00:20:20.960 --> 00:20:21.599 Does it matter? 451 00:20:21.839 --> 00:20:24.440 Unless I'm Joey Chestnut, you shouldn't give a shit with 452 00:20:24.519 --> 00:20:24.880 my job? 453 00:20:25.000 --> 00:20:30.720 Is? I think I think Vito culturalist is more embarrassing 454 00:20:30.759 --> 00:20:33.559 because from what I can tell, they misspelled it in 455 00:20:33.640 --> 00:20:36.599 the movie and it should be Viti culturist. Culturalist that 456 00:20:36.640 --> 00:20:38.359 oh should be an eye. I really tried to do 457 00:20:38.400 --> 00:20:39.759 a deep dive on this. I don't know why it 458 00:20:39.759 --> 00:20:40.759 bothered me so much. 459 00:20:40.759 --> 00:20:45.000 Just like Winemaker or something. Vintner I actually Vintner, I 460 00:20:45.079 --> 00:20:50.640 actually think artist is more embarrassing, just to be like, ah, 461 00:20:50.880 --> 00:20:54.119 I'm an artist, Like no, honey, no, you're. 462 00:20:53.920 --> 00:20:56.400 Not has anything ever been more true that these two 463 00:20:56.519 --> 00:20:59.519 come from like long old family money than the fact 464 00:20:59.519 --> 00:21:01.359 that they're getting married at this wedding and they are 465 00:21:01.400 --> 00:21:03.240 a vital culturalist and an artist. 466 00:21:03.400 --> 00:21:04.599 They're the worst people. 467 00:21:04.720 --> 00:21:06.160 They're the worst people. 468 00:21:06.440 --> 00:21:11.119 Natasha Richardson does so much work to make this person lovable. Yeah, 469 00:21:11.160 --> 00:21:13.720 and it works. Love I love her in this She's 470 00:21:13.799 --> 00:21:16.200 so lovely in this film. But if you really just 471 00:21:16.240 --> 00:21:19.799 look at the facts, this woman is a fucking monster. 472 00:21:20.119 --> 00:21:22.920 And the problem with Nick is that everything he sucks. 473 00:21:23.039 --> 00:21:27.839 He's somewhat charming, but he's deeply, deeply, clinically moronically stupid. 474 00:21:27.880 --> 00:21:29.920 He maybe the stupidest character we've ever encountered. 475 00:21:30.039 --> 00:21:32.799 He just follows his dick around and that's like all 476 00:21:32.799 --> 00:21:36.200 he does. Look again, charming because he's played by Dennis Quaid, 477 00:21:36.240 --> 00:21:38.640 who I find very charming. Despite I feel like we're 478 00:21:38.640 --> 00:21:41.400 gonna stop recording this and Paul's gonna be like googled 479 00:21:41.559 --> 00:21:42.000 this quad. 480 00:21:43.359 --> 00:21:45.680 I really don't think there's anything that bad. It's just 481 00:21:45.720 --> 00:21:48.119 like he's he's getting that famous crazy going. 482 00:21:48.319 --> 00:21:50.400 Well, yeah, he's still the less crazy of the Quaids. 483 00:21:50.599 --> 00:21:52.720 So fair, he's still way out ahead. 484 00:21:52.720 --> 00:21:55.160 Way Yeah, Randy, Randy's got this one in a lot. 485 00:21:55.240 --> 00:21:57.920 Randy's got the gold medal five years running. 486 00:21:58.039 --> 00:22:00.480 So eventually we see a photo of Nick played by 487 00:22:00.519 --> 00:22:03.599 Dennis Quaid and Elizabeth played by Natasha Richardson, and they 488 00:22:03.640 --> 00:22:06.119 clink champagne flutes and smile at each other. It's the 489 00:22:06.119 --> 00:22:07.079 photo from their wedding. 490 00:22:07.279 --> 00:22:09.079 By the way, according to this film, I don't know 491 00:22:09.079 --> 00:22:11.279 if you get into this later in the recap, they 492 00:22:11.519 --> 00:22:14.640 met on that cruise ship on day one. They were 493 00:22:14.680 --> 00:22:17.400 sat next to each other at dinner, and they decided 494 00:22:17.440 --> 00:22:20.200 to get married. I haven't really looked this up, but 495 00:22:20.240 --> 00:22:22.039 I'm ninety percent sure because I think I did look 496 00:22:22.039 --> 00:22:23.400 this up years ago because I thought it would be 497 00:22:23.440 --> 00:22:26.160 fun to travel on the Q two. I think it 498 00:22:26.200 --> 00:22:28.960 only takes five days to get from New York to 499 00:22:29.039 --> 00:22:31.240 London or seven days. 500 00:22:31.440 --> 00:22:34.720 Yeah, Well, here's the real kicker, Erica, And this is 501 00:22:34.720 --> 00:22:37.200 what I looked up. So the next thing that's gonna 502 00:22:37.200 --> 00:22:39.079 happen is we're going to smash cut to eleven years 503 00:22:39.119 --> 00:22:42.720 and nine months later in let's say early July, because 504 00:22:42.720 --> 00:22:45.119 all the kids are arriving at camp after school. We 505 00:22:45.160 --> 00:22:47.640 will later find out that the twins that they have 506 00:22:48.160 --> 00:22:50.480 are eleven years and nine months old. Because it's July, 507 00:22:50.640 --> 00:22:53.240 and they say that they are turning twelve in October, 508 00:22:53.359 --> 00:22:57.359 three months later. So that means that not only is 509 00:22:57.400 --> 00:23:02.359 she nine months pregnant when they get married, which is impossible, 510 00:23:02.720 --> 00:23:03.880 give everything else. 511 00:23:03.920 --> 00:23:07.240 Paul, those girls six months early. Yeah, they came six 512 00:23:07.240 --> 00:23:09.839 months early. That's why her hair is red. Okay, that's 513 00:23:09.839 --> 00:23:13.799 why this this ashy brunette and this blonde gave birth 514 00:23:13.839 --> 00:23:16.319 to two ginger queens. 515 00:23:16.440 --> 00:23:18.920 I just have to say, like I thought that the 516 00:23:19.039 --> 00:23:21.160 first second I saw it, I was like eleven years 517 00:23:21.279 --> 00:23:21.880 nine months. 518 00:23:21.960 --> 00:23:24.400 So they're eleven. They're eleven years old, and she's like, no, 519 00:23:24.440 --> 00:23:26.279 I'm turning twelve and three months. It's like, no, you're not. 520 00:23:26.640 --> 00:23:27.519 That's impossible. 521 00:23:29.559 --> 00:23:31.599 Maybe that's why they don't show her face because they 522 00:23:31.599 --> 00:23:35.079 can't show her front either. They're like, she's heavily pregnant. Yeah, no, 523 00:23:35.200 --> 00:23:37.799 these two bastards me. I. By the way, while you 524 00:23:37.880 --> 00:23:41.440 were talking, I did look it up cue too. Voyage 525 00:23:41.480 --> 00:23:45.960 takes seven days. In seven days, these two met, got married, 526 00:23:46.359 --> 00:23:49.880 got pregnant, and then in like nine months, decided to 527 00:23:49.920 --> 00:23:50.880 break it off. 528 00:23:51.079 --> 00:23:53.200 Yeah okay, So as I was saying, we smashed got 529 00:23:53.240 --> 00:23:55.880 to eleven years nine months later, buses are arriving at 530 00:23:55.880 --> 00:23:59.920 Camp Walden in Maine. The camp directors Marva Kulp Senior 531 00:24:00.119 --> 00:24:03.519 and Marva Culp Junior, played by Polly Holliday and Maggie Wheeler. 532 00:24:03.759 --> 00:24:06.680 Some of the best mother daughter casting I've ever seen. Yes, 533 00:24:06.799 --> 00:24:08.039 those two look alike. 534 00:24:08.200 --> 00:24:11.720 Also, the name Marva tickled me every time someone said it. 535 00:24:12.160 --> 00:24:14.319 I think this name is a reference to the sixty 536 00:24:14.359 --> 00:24:16.599 one movie. Oh probably, I'm not one hundred percent short, 537 00:24:16.720 --> 00:24:17.079 I think so. 538 00:24:17.359 --> 00:24:18.640 I'm going to go right out on a limb and 539 00:24:18.720 --> 00:24:21.279 say Marva is the original name of someone in that 540 00:24:21.359 --> 00:24:22.680 nineteen nine novel. 541 00:24:24.319 --> 00:24:27.480 So the Marva's culp are trying to manage the chaos. 542 00:24:27.519 --> 00:24:30.240 As we meet eleven year old Hallie Parker played by 543 00:24:30.319 --> 00:24:32.960 Lindsay Lawn. She's trying to retrieve her bag from this 544 00:24:33.000 --> 00:24:35.880 ever growing pile of duffolds that keep getting thrown onto 545 00:24:35.920 --> 00:24:38.240 this big like this big pile that keeps building up. 546 00:24:38.839 --> 00:24:41.200 She quickly manages to make a couple of friends and 547 00:24:41.240 --> 00:24:43.640 tells him that she lives in Napa on a vineyard, 548 00:24:43.960 --> 00:24:46.319 and they all head off to their cabin as Hallie 549 00:24:46.359 --> 00:24:49.480 asks her new friends if anyone knows how to play poker? 550 00:24:49.680 --> 00:24:52.799 Is Halle coated is queer. The two girls approach her 551 00:24:52.799 --> 00:24:55.279 and she becomes fast friends with them, like right away, 552 00:24:55.799 --> 00:24:57.880 and one of them is a girl, like a very 553 00:24:58.279 --> 00:25:01.839 very cute girl and tied die and she goes, now, 554 00:25:01.960 --> 00:25:04.920 that's my kind of woman, literally says that, and I 555 00:25:05.000 --> 00:25:08.640 get it. They're twelve, so she probably means something or eleven. 556 00:25:09.039 --> 00:25:10.839 She probably means something to the fact of like, oh, 557 00:25:10.839 --> 00:25:15.160 she's wearing tight eye, she's cool, she's California, blah blah blah. Right, 558 00:25:15.599 --> 00:25:18.200 but I mean And then later on in the movie, 559 00:25:18.720 --> 00:25:21.160 there's a scene where Halle, like tight eye girl is 560 00:25:21.160 --> 00:25:23.960 giving Halle like a piggyback ride because Halle is tired, 561 00:25:24.359 --> 00:25:29.440 as she calls her, babe. Okay, this is I'm not 562 00:25:29.559 --> 00:25:32.839 saying they're gay. They're very young, right, like they're pretty sexual. 563 00:25:33.200 --> 00:25:36.319 But I bet a lot of like queer girls saw 564 00:25:36.400 --> 00:25:38.440 this movie young and were like, I feel seen. 565 00:25:38.640 --> 00:25:39.240 Yep, that's me. 566 00:25:39.519 --> 00:25:41.799 I will die on that hill. Halle is gay, work 567 00:25:41.920 --> 00:25:43.000 or queer in some way. 568 00:25:43.240 --> 00:25:44.440 I I'm totally with you. 569 00:25:44.799 --> 00:25:47.680 So Halle has barely cleared the scene when a limo 570 00:25:48.000 --> 00:25:54.480 pulls up and discharges eleven year old very posh Annie James, 571 00:25:54.519 --> 00:25:59.000 played also by Lindsay Lohan with a sometimes wonderful, sometimes 572 00:25:59.039 --> 00:26:01.079 middling English act, and it comes and ghosts. 573 00:26:01.400 --> 00:26:04.160 I can't believe they made her do this. This is 574 00:26:04.319 --> 00:26:05.000 so mean. 575 00:26:05.279 --> 00:26:06.960 It's not bad though she's good. 576 00:26:07.119 --> 00:26:09.759 No, she's not bad, but like it's it's like I 577 00:26:09.880 --> 00:26:11.720 was like, maybe they wanted to like make a really 578 00:26:11.720 --> 00:26:15.160 easy way to delineate between the two characters, but like 579 00:26:15.480 --> 00:26:18.640 then they switch almost immediately, so it doesn't it doesn't 580 00:26:18.680 --> 00:26:22.200 even work. And I'm like, just have Natasha Richardson have 581 00:26:22.359 --> 00:26:25.599 moved to New York to be a fashion designer. There 582 00:26:25.599 --> 00:26:27.559 are plenty of British people who live in New York. 583 00:26:27.599 --> 00:26:29.559 And then Lindsay Lohan can just speak in her normal 584 00:26:29.599 --> 00:26:32.640 fucking voice. Like the level of difficulty there throwing at 585 00:26:32.640 --> 00:26:34.680 this preteen is insane. 586 00:26:34.240 --> 00:26:36.960 But Paul, she fucking nails it. She does sometimes the 587 00:26:37.000 --> 00:26:40.480 accent drops, but literally the greatest actors we have working 588 00:26:40.839 --> 00:26:43.920 their accent drops. Yeah, I've been rewatching Game of Thrones 589 00:26:43.960 --> 00:26:46.400 and like I love Peter Dingklich. Peter Dingklish is an 590 00:26:46.400 --> 00:26:50.839 amazing actor. Cannot do a British accent like he can 591 00:26:51.240 --> 00:26:54.680 sometimes for like fifteen street minutes will have a perfect 592 00:26:54.680 --> 00:26:57.319 British accent, and then it's clear that the scene was 593 00:26:57.359 --> 00:26:58.680 cut and they broke for lunch. 594 00:26:58.559 --> 00:27:00.000 And he came back and he lost it. 595 00:27:00.079 --> 00:27:02.400 He needs to wind back up into it because he 596 00:27:02.640 --> 00:27:04.839 just totally doesn't have an English accent. For the rest 597 00:27:04.839 --> 00:27:09.440 of the team. So Annie is very posh. 598 00:27:09.559 --> 00:27:11.440 The first one is butch, the second one is lipstick. 599 00:27:11.519 --> 00:27:12.039 His lipstick. 600 00:27:12.119 --> 00:27:13.079 Yeah, but not just. 601 00:27:13.400 --> 00:27:16.279 She's dressed like a grandmother. She's wearing like a Chanelle suit. 602 00:27:16.319 --> 00:27:18.400 She's wearing like sensible heels. 603 00:27:18.480 --> 00:27:23.359 I'm like, and you're going to camp wearing. 604 00:27:23.160 --> 00:27:28.000 Sensible heels and a pearl necklace. She's been brought to 605 00:27:28.039 --> 00:27:31.720 camp by her butler, Martin, played by Simon Kuntz. My 606 00:27:31.839 --> 00:27:33.519 favorite character in this movie. 607 00:27:33.559 --> 00:27:36.000 My favorite character is Chessie, but Martin is my second. 608 00:27:36.039 --> 00:27:38.759 They're so great. Both of them are fantastic. Both of fantastic. 609 00:27:39.559 --> 00:27:43.200 Martin and Annie are obviously extraordinarily close. I love this 610 00:27:43.240 --> 00:27:46.400 actor so much in this performance, so much because everything 611 00:27:46.440 --> 00:27:49.119 he does in this scene should creep the shit out 612 00:27:49.119 --> 00:27:51.960 of me. Yes, they have their own secret handshake. He 613 00:27:52.039 --> 00:27:54.480 drops her off at camp. He says, I'm gonna miss 614 00:27:54.480 --> 00:27:56.759 you so much. He gives you a kiss on the forehead. 615 00:27:56.960 --> 00:28:00.400 He actually has this line that's very sweet. It was 616 00:28:00.400 --> 00:28:02.599 like a parent, but a little creepy because he's like 617 00:28:02.680 --> 00:28:06.599 a servant. He says, missing you already, Queen of my heart. Yeah, 618 00:28:06.640 --> 00:28:08.920 but I'm telling you the way the actor delivers it, 619 00:28:09.039 --> 00:28:09.519 I'm like. 620 00:28:09.640 --> 00:28:12.920 Oh, I agree, he really he takes all that. 621 00:28:12.920 --> 00:28:14.319 Because I wrote that line down, I was like, that 622 00:28:14.400 --> 00:28:17.359 is just a weird line to write, but he manages 623 00:28:17.400 --> 00:28:18.279 to make it okay. 624 00:28:18.480 --> 00:28:20.920 It's so sweet. I love this actor so much. He's 625 00:28:20.960 --> 00:28:21.319 so good. 626 00:28:21.519 --> 00:28:21.839 Yeah. 627 00:28:21.880 --> 00:28:24.680 So, because her mom can't fucking be bothered, she's dropped 628 00:28:24.680 --> 00:28:27.759 off by her butler, I'm gonna build a case here 629 00:28:27.799 --> 00:28:30.000 that Natasha Richardson is the worst of the two. I 630 00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:33.039 know Dennis quite is terrible, but I think Natasha Richardson 631 00:28:33.119 --> 00:28:36.759 is actually perhaps the worst parent of all time, Ladies 632 00:28:36.799 --> 00:28:40.000 and gentlemen of the jury. She couldn't fucking be bothered 633 00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:41.119 to drop her kid off. 634 00:28:41.559 --> 00:28:44.359 To be fair, it seems like he put Hallie on 635 00:28:44.400 --> 00:28:46.920 a plane and then had she had to get her 636 00:28:46.960 --> 00:28:50.680 own bus to go more than three thousand miles away, 637 00:28:51.519 --> 00:28:52.680 and he was like, see ya. 638 00:28:52.920 --> 00:28:54.039 That's true. 639 00:28:53.680 --> 00:28:58.359 He didn't even send their butler akhss to drop her off. 640 00:28:58.400 --> 00:29:00.319 He was just like, you're good, right, Hallie. 641 00:29:00.440 --> 00:29:03.319 That's because Halle is wiley. That's because Halle is smart. 642 00:29:03.359 --> 00:29:06.759 She has to be because she has a clinically stupid father. Yeah, 643 00:29:06.799 --> 00:29:08.920 so she has to be the smart one. She's like, no, no, no, 644 00:29:09.119 --> 00:29:11.039 don't try to drive me. You'll just get us lost. 645 00:29:11.079 --> 00:29:12.079 We'll end up in Canada. 646 00:29:12.200 --> 00:29:12.400 Yeah. 647 00:29:12.400 --> 00:29:14.519 I'll find my way to Maine on my own, thank you, sir. 648 00:29:14.680 --> 00:29:17.079 She hitchhiked there, Paul, She didn't take a plane. 649 00:29:17.160 --> 00:29:19.039 If Halle hooked up with Billy from Big, the two 650 00:29:19.039 --> 00:29:19.920 of them would take over the world. 651 00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:22.200 Oh my god. She and Billy from Big stole a car. 652 00:29:22.440 --> 00:29:24.000 They hitchhiked a little bit of the way, and they 653 00:29:24.039 --> 00:29:25.799 were like, you know what this is dodgy, let's just 654 00:29:25.839 --> 00:29:28.519 steal a car. And then they stole a car and 655 00:29:28.680 --> 00:29:30.559 just drove across the country on their own. 656 00:29:31.279 --> 00:29:33.359 We can only hope they hook up with Benjamin Franklin 657 00:29:33.440 --> 00:29:36.559 Rodriguez so he can like keep their criminal tendencies to 658 00:29:36.599 --> 00:29:37.119 a minimum. 659 00:29:39.519 --> 00:29:42.279 So he gives her the butler gives her Annie the 660 00:29:42.279 --> 00:29:45.920 British One a new deck of cards, says, hey, maybe 661 00:29:45.920 --> 00:29:49.160 you'll find someone at Camp Walden who can actually whip 662 00:29:49.200 --> 00:29:53.039 your tush at poker. So these girls have a preternatural 663 00:29:53.119 --> 00:29:53.920 gift for poker. 664 00:29:54.079 --> 00:29:56.960 That's not the only preternatural gift they have, Erica the 665 00:29:57.039 --> 00:29:57.640 other one. 666 00:29:57.480 --> 00:30:00.680 Makes sense, though, this one makes note like like you 667 00:30:00.720 --> 00:30:02.559 know what, keep going? I can't. I can't. 668 00:30:02.839 --> 00:30:06.559 So seemingly days pass with no one in camp ever 669 00:30:06.640 --> 00:30:09.960 noticing that there are carbon copy children lying around, So 670 00:30:10.160 --> 00:30:12.799 eventually we find Halle that's the American one, the one 671 00:30:12.799 --> 00:30:16.000 who had checked across America with Billy from Big dominating 672 00:30:16.039 --> 00:30:19.519 a fencing class run by Marva Culp Junior. That's Janis 673 00:30:19.519 --> 00:30:23.759 from Friends. After soundly defeating everyone, Annie walks up. Now, 674 00:30:23.799 --> 00:30:26.759 since Hallie is not facing her and wearing a fencing 675 00:30:26.839 --> 00:30:28.880 mask one of those things that completely obscures your face, 676 00:30:29.400 --> 00:30:31.519 no one remembers what she looks like, and no one 677 00:30:31.599 --> 00:30:33.799 bats an eye when her carbon copy says. 678 00:30:33.599 --> 00:30:35.119 I'll I'll take a whack at it. 679 00:30:35.359 --> 00:30:38.160 At defeating the champ, they both get their face masks on. 680 00:30:39.000 --> 00:30:42.079 They swash buckle their way all over the campgrounds until 681 00:30:42.119 --> 00:30:45.480 finally Annie that's the British one, manages to knock Halle 682 00:30:45.799 --> 00:30:49.160 over a porch railing into a trough of water. She 683 00:30:49.400 --> 00:30:52.759 immediately apologizes and holds out her hand say oh, I'm sorry, 684 00:30:52.759 --> 00:30:54.359 I didn't mean to do that to her opponent, and 685 00:30:54.440 --> 00:30:55.799 Hallie yanks her into the water. 686 00:30:56.079 --> 00:30:56.480 Yeah. 687 00:30:56.519 --> 00:30:58.799 In the aftermath of the fight, they take off their 688 00:30:58.839 --> 00:31:02.880 masks and fine. Since they are standing directly next to 689 00:31:02.920 --> 00:31:08.279 each other, everyone notices that they are identical. However, they both, 690 00:31:08.359 --> 00:31:12.079 particularly Halle the American one, quickly take offense at the 691 00:31:12.079 --> 00:31:14.920 suggestion that they look anything alike. What is it, Erica, 692 00:31:15.079 --> 00:31:18.240 It's loathing, unadultrated loathing. 693 00:31:18.519 --> 00:31:20.480 I don't get that reference, Paul, what is that? 694 00:31:20.480 --> 00:31:21.599 That is a Wicked reference? 695 00:31:21.960 --> 00:31:22.559 Okay? 696 00:31:22.759 --> 00:31:24.880 We are mere months away from Wicked Part one being 697 00:31:24.880 --> 00:31:25.759 released into theaters. 698 00:31:25.799 --> 00:31:29.319 Oh I saw that musical one time, one thousand years ago. 699 00:31:29.359 --> 00:31:31.119 Do do I have to listen to it again? 700 00:31:31.359 --> 00:31:32.799 Do I have to get Tom back on here to 701 00:31:32.799 --> 00:31:33.759 talk about Wicked with me? 702 00:31:34.319 --> 00:31:35.880 Yes? Frankly, yes. 703 00:31:36.440 --> 00:31:39.279 Okay, So the two girls stock off. Halle is intent 704 00:31:39.440 --> 00:31:42.279 on revenge after losing the fencing match. It seems like 705 00:31:42.319 --> 00:31:44.720 maybe she's been the fencing champion of Camp Walden for 706 00:31:44.759 --> 00:31:45.640 three or four years. 707 00:31:46.000 --> 00:31:47.119 This is quite the upset. 708 00:31:47.880 --> 00:31:50.440 Whoever they have in those little like whoever they have 709 00:31:50.559 --> 00:31:54.480 pretending to be the girls fencing each other, they're good Erica. 710 00:31:54.799 --> 00:31:56.640 That is, Lindsay Lohana, I don't know what. 711 00:31:58.119 --> 00:32:01.599 It's definitely not two fencing experts who also can somehow 712 00:32:01.640 --> 00:32:06.240 pass for like four foot ten in height. Yeah, so far, Paul, 713 00:32:06.440 --> 00:32:08.880 I'm all in on this stupid movie. Sure, even this 714 00:32:09.039 --> 00:32:12.240 scene where like the Adult where Maggie Wheeler's character is 715 00:32:12.319 --> 00:32:15.000 looking right at them and is like, wow, you too, 716 00:32:15.079 --> 00:32:18.519 sure do look alike? And I'm like, you mean identical? 717 00:32:18.680 --> 00:32:21.000 They're identical except one of them is British and one 718 00:32:21.000 --> 00:32:23.039 of them is American, and one of them has shorter. 719 00:32:22.839 --> 00:32:25.599 Hair like down to the freckles on their face. Identical. 720 00:32:25.759 --> 00:32:29.079 Identical. So we cut to Annie's cabin later that night, 721 00:32:29.119 --> 00:32:32.279 British one, and she's running an off the grade poker game, 722 00:32:32.759 --> 00:32:33.640 because of course. 723 00:32:33.440 --> 00:32:36.359 She is just fleecing all of her new friends for 724 00:32:36.400 --> 00:32:36.960 all their work. 725 00:32:37.160 --> 00:32:39.319 I buy them both as good at fencing. I don't 726 00:32:39.359 --> 00:32:42.240 buy that that little miss grows up in Mayfair it 727 00:32:42.319 --> 00:32:45.079 knows about poker. I'm sorry, No, No, where does she 728 00:32:45.160 --> 00:32:47.200 learn did her mother send her off to Monaco for 729 00:32:47.359 --> 00:32:49.400 by herself, like on vacation. 730 00:32:49.640 --> 00:32:51.839 I think the implication is that her grandfather she has 731 00:32:51.880 --> 00:32:54.599 a grandfather in England who I essentially cut of the 732 00:32:54.599 --> 00:32:57.799 recap because he does nothing plot important. I buy that 733 00:32:57.839 --> 00:32:59.680 her grandfather taught her. What I don't buy is that 734 00:32:59.680 --> 00:33:02.960 any child can play poker. I have played poker so 735 00:33:03.039 --> 00:33:05.000 many times with my nephews and none of them can 736 00:33:05.079 --> 00:33:07.480 keep it together. Yeah, you can read them like a book. 737 00:33:07.759 --> 00:33:10.200 Also, this makes it seem like they're both like, like 738 00:33:10.440 --> 00:33:12.920 genius is a poker instead of just insanely. 739 00:33:12.519 --> 00:33:16.079 Lucky, right poker? Like there is skill involved in poker, 740 00:33:16.119 --> 00:33:19.119 but you can't you can't guarantee something. 741 00:33:19.279 --> 00:33:21.319 Yeah, which is what it is, which is what is 742 00:33:21.319 --> 00:33:25.200 about to happen. Right, Okay, So British one is rending 743 00:33:25.400 --> 00:33:27.559 an off the grid poker game. Just as she fully 744 00:33:27.599 --> 00:33:30.839 bankrupts them all, Hallie enters with her own set of friends, 745 00:33:30.839 --> 00:33:35.839 her posse, including her girl friend Tydeye Girl. She's swinging 746 00:33:35.880 --> 00:33:38.599 a sock full of quarters and I'm like, that is 747 00:33:38.599 --> 00:33:39.440 she gonna hurt someone? 748 00:33:39.480 --> 00:33:41.279 It's a little black Jackie, right, but. 749 00:33:41.279 --> 00:33:43.079 You know what I'm into it. I really like Kelly. 750 00:33:43.519 --> 00:33:45.359 It's a little bit nylon full of lemons and I'm 751 00:33:45.359 --> 00:33:46.039 going to beat you with. 752 00:33:48.519 --> 00:33:51.960 She challenges Annie to a game. The stakes escalate until 753 00:33:51.960 --> 00:33:54.680 it is agreed that the loser will have to dive 754 00:33:54.880 --> 00:33:58.640 naked into the lake. Annie is so confident She's like, yes, 755 00:33:58.880 --> 00:34:02.119 let's do that, and she shows her cards. She has 756 00:34:02.160 --> 00:34:06.000 a straight flush. Suck it, loser, get naked. What if 757 00:34:06.000 --> 00:34:07.759 they got naked and then they were both like, we 758 00:34:08.280 --> 00:34:09.719 look identical naked too. 759 00:34:12.440 --> 00:34:16.079 You have the same birthmart Ah, we both. 760 00:34:15.840 --> 00:34:19.880 Have ginger bushes. Of course. Though, when it's time for 761 00:34:19.960 --> 00:34:23.320 Halle to show her cards, she has a royal flush. 762 00:34:23.639 --> 00:34:25.480 Okay, so I looked this up. I don't know if 763 00:34:25.480 --> 00:34:27.239 this is accurate, but this is the best information I 764 00:34:27.280 --> 00:34:30.199 could find. The odds of a straight flush are seventy 765 00:34:30.239 --> 00:34:33.239 two thousand to one. The odds of a royal flush 766 00:34:33.280 --> 00:34:35.320 are six hundred and fifty thousand to one. 767 00:34:35.599 --> 00:34:36.079 Yeah. 768 00:34:36.159 --> 00:34:38.360 The odds of these two having the hands at the 769 00:34:38.440 --> 00:34:42.800 same time forty six point eight billion to one. 770 00:34:43.360 --> 00:34:44.719 Oh, that's how good they are. 771 00:34:44.920 --> 00:34:49.320 The odds of winning the lottery are fourteen million to one. 772 00:34:49.800 --> 00:34:51.800 I mean, if Halle and Annie don't go out and 773 00:34:51.800 --> 00:34:54.800 buy lottery tickets that night, they're frankly losing money. 774 00:34:54.840 --> 00:34:55.840 They're frankly idiots. 775 00:34:56.079 --> 00:34:59.000 Yeah. So, Annie, true to her word, heads out and 776 00:34:59.079 --> 00:35:01.960 jumps into the lake, which only gives Hallie and her 777 00:35:01.960 --> 00:35:04.320 friends a chance to steal her clothes, which is real 778 00:35:04.400 --> 00:35:04.840 dick move. 779 00:35:05.000 --> 00:35:07.039 It's a real dick move. But also they went into 780 00:35:07.119 --> 00:35:10.519 Annie's cabin. You would presume that her cabin mates would 781 00:35:10.519 --> 00:35:14.239 be about and able to stop this theft of clothing. 782 00:35:14.320 --> 00:35:16.880 Right, were her cabin mats like, we don't want to 783 00:35:16.880 --> 00:35:19.719 see you naked. That's a good violation. We're gonna stay 784 00:35:19.719 --> 00:35:20.039 in here. 785 00:35:20.159 --> 00:35:22.199 Or is it just Erica what you've always said? No 786 00:35:22.320 --> 00:35:26.000 honor amongst tween girls. Are they starting to get that savagery? 787 00:35:26.159 --> 00:35:28.760 Eleven is still too young, eleven is still too innocent. 788 00:35:29.119 --> 00:35:31.599 It comes about a year and a half later. We 789 00:35:31.800 --> 00:35:34.039 just wake up one day and you were like, I'm 790 00:35:34.079 --> 00:35:36.760 going to burn down the world. How do I do that? 791 00:35:36.960 --> 00:35:38.800 Where is the kerosene and a match? 792 00:35:39.320 --> 00:35:42.480 How do I make everyone in the world as miserable 793 00:35:42.519 --> 00:35:45.840 as I feel in this moment. I can't do it 794 00:35:45.880 --> 00:35:47.920 with Mike. That's how boys do it, and I've seen 795 00:35:47.960 --> 00:35:49.760 them fail too many times. I have to do it 796 00:35:49.760 --> 00:35:54.199 with my cunning and I will you know what that person, 797 00:35:54.400 --> 00:35:57.079 see that random adult over there, I'm going to destroy them. 798 00:35:57.079 --> 00:35:59.280 To you, I have found the weakest la. 799 00:35:59.440 --> 00:36:02.840 See that poor man just trying to sell newspapers. I'm 800 00:36:02.840 --> 00:36:05.760 going to burn him so hard that he is going 801 00:36:05.800 --> 00:36:07.239 to rethink his whole life. 802 00:36:07.360 --> 00:36:11.760 Inside every tween Girl are two wolves, and both wolves 803 00:36:11.800 --> 00:36:13.000 are hungry and psychotic. 804 00:36:13.320 --> 00:36:19.599 Yeah, Inside every tween Girl are two wolves, and they're 805 00:36:19.639 --> 00:36:24.880 being written by a miniature rapt and a miniature Adolf Hitler. 806 00:36:27.679 --> 00:36:28.119 All right. 807 00:36:28.280 --> 00:36:32.159 So Annie responds by putting all of Halle's cabin's furniture 808 00:36:32.199 --> 00:36:34.960 on the roof, which I can't even get into the 809 00:36:35.000 --> 00:36:36.719 logistics of how this could possibly happen. 810 00:36:36.800 --> 00:36:39.360 But I don't understand. I don't understand. 811 00:36:39.639 --> 00:36:42.320 Was there a police system where there are adult men drafted? 812 00:36:42.360 --> 00:36:44.480 Did she? Did she hire people? What happened? 813 00:36:44.519 --> 00:36:47.199 Did she? She is rich canonically right, and like cell 814 00:36:47.239 --> 00:36:49.960 phones did exist back then, so maybe she called she 815 00:36:50.119 --> 00:36:51.719 called mover, she called men with van. 816 00:36:52.519 --> 00:36:56.639 Yeah, man of the van, that's what we want to do. Okay, 817 00:36:56.719 --> 00:36:59.760 So Halle goes nuclear. Oh, by the way, the Annie 818 00:36:59.800 --> 00:37:01.960 c where she sees she's the camera. I just have 819 00:37:01.960 --> 00:37:03.480 to point this out really quickly. This is one of 820 00:37:03.480 --> 00:37:06.159 my least favorite things that directors do in movies. So 821 00:37:06.440 --> 00:37:08.480 you have your characters, they're walking at a distance, and 822 00:37:08.480 --> 00:37:11.559 they're walking towards the camera, and they walked towards the 823 00:37:11.559 --> 00:37:14.000 camera for like a minute or thirty seconds or whatever, 824 00:37:14.239 --> 00:37:16.679 and then one of them notices something that all three 825 00:37:16.760 --> 00:37:19.039 of them would have been able to see the entire time, 826 00:37:19.320 --> 00:37:21.320 and the other two act confused, as if they have 827 00:37:21.440 --> 00:37:25.000 not looked straight ahead in minutes to see what is 828 00:37:25.039 --> 00:37:27.199 ahead of them, which in this case is the cabin 829 00:37:27.239 --> 00:37:28.119 with furniture on the roof. 830 00:37:28.159 --> 00:37:30.079 That's all I'm yeah, this makes no sense. 831 00:37:30.159 --> 00:37:32.159 Like I'm willing to go with a lot of the 832 00:37:32.199 --> 00:37:34.639 stuff that happens in this movie, like a lot of 833 00:37:34.679 --> 00:37:36.719 the crazy, stupid things. This is the one thing where 834 00:37:36.760 --> 00:37:40.079 I was like, no, no, these are children, these are 835 00:37:40.199 --> 00:37:43.320 small children. And they lifted, they horked a bed up 836 00:37:43.320 --> 00:37:44.199 on the roof of a. 837 00:37:44.159 --> 00:37:46.320 Cabin and balanced it or did they nail it in? 838 00:37:46.679 --> 00:37:49.559 They biled it in because the roof is raked, yes, said, 839 00:37:49.559 --> 00:37:51.639 the thing is not a flat roof, it's raked. They 840 00:37:51.719 --> 00:37:55.559 must have nailed it in somehow. Okay, you know what, 841 00:37:55.840 --> 00:37:59.840 Halle not Hallie. Annie definitely called someone to have. 842 00:37:59.800 --> 00:38:03.920 Them do it, all right, So Halle goes nuclear. In 843 00:38:03.960 --> 00:38:07.440 response to this, she enlists her cabin to booby trap 844 00:38:07.480 --> 00:38:09.920 Annie's cabin to within an inch of its life. There 845 00:38:10.000 --> 00:38:14.480 is shaving cream, honey, water balloons, a basketball, vegetable oil, 846 00:38:14.599 --> 00:38:15.280 chocolate sauce. 847 00:38:15.360 --> 00:38:18.880 Yeah, it's like a Rube Goldberg machine, but for destruction. 848 00:38:18.679 --> 00:38:23.119 It actually mostly goes off without a hitch. Unfortunately, before 849 00:38:23.159 --> 00:38:26.480 the final trap can be sprung, the Marva's Culp arrive 850 00:38:26.719 --> 00:38:30.159 for a sneak inspection, and despite Halle's best efforts to 851 00:38:30.239 --> 00:38:32.920 not let them walk into the cabin, Annie figures out 852 00:38:33.000 --> 00:38:35.199 that she's trying to stop them, and she's like, oh no, 853 00:38:35.280 --> 00:38:38.000 come on in, and the Marva's Culp get caught. In 854 00:38:38.000 --> 00:38:40.639 the final stage. They wind up covered in chocolate sauce 855 00:38:40.679 --> 00:38:43.840 and feathers, and they are not amused, and they decide 856 00:38:43.880 --> 00:38:46.280 that both Annie and Halle must head to the quote 857 00:38:46.360 --> 00:38:51.079 unquote isolation cabin. How do we feel about this as 858 00:38:51.079 --> 00:38:51.719 a punishment? 859 00:38:52.159 --> 00:38:54.280 I need to know because I did not go to 860 00:38:54.280 --> 00:38:56.159 camp when I was a kid. If you are a 861 00:38:56.199 --> 00:38:57.320 listener and you went. 862 00:38:57.159 --> 00:38:58.960 To camp, how do you know I didn't go to camp. 863 00:38:59.119 --> 00:39:01.400 That's a good question. How did you go to camp? 864 00:39:01.480 --> 00:39:03.039 Of course not you knew I didn't. 865 00:39:03.880 --> 00:39:08.960 Of course, not theater camp maybe, but not camp camp. 866 00:39:09.880 --> 00:39:15.039 I went to theater camp actually, but it was not 867 00:39:15.159 --> 00:39:17.159 sleep away. They dropped me off in the morning and 868 00:39:17.199 --> 00:39:19.800 pick me up in the evening. Yeah, I've never been 869 00:39:19.800 --> 00:39:22.880 to camp. If you have, let us know. Is this 870 00:39:22.920 --> 00:39:25.280 a thing, because it's not just in this movie. It 871 00:39:25.320 --> 00:39:28.639 shows up at Adam's family values too. Oh, this seems 872 00:39:28.639 --> 00:39:33.599 illegal at best, illegal at worst extremely negligent and dangerous. 873 00:39:33.840 --> 00:39:34.840 Yes, agreed. 874 00:39:35.079 --> 00:39:37.360 Also, are there only two adults in this entire camp 875 00:39:37.400 --> 00:39:38.079 full of children? 876 00:39:38.400 --> 00:39:40.719 You do see a couple other counselors when people arrive, 877 00:39:40.920 --> 00:39:43.840 but only the culps speak speak. 878 00:39:44.039 --> 00:39:47.440 There's also a little boy played by Lindsay Lohan's brother, Yeah, 879 00:39:47.440 --> 00:39:50.079 accidentally gets dropped off of the girls camp, and like 880 00:39:50.159 --> 00:39:52.239 it's a runner throughout the movie that he is just 881 00:39:52.360 --> 00:39:54.920 there the whole time because his parents don't come to 882 00:39:54.920 --> 00:39:58.519 pick him up, which is very Dina Lohan frankly. 883 00:39:58.519 --> 00:40:00.719 Very But okay, so since you brought that up here, 884 00:40:00.719 --> 00:40:03.599 what he says is I thought this was a boys camp, 885 00:40:03.800 --> 00:40:08.239 which begs the question of did he book himself into it, 886 00:40:08.280 --> 00:40:10.800 because the way he makes it sound, it's like he 887 00:40:10.920 --> 00:40:12.039 was in charge of all of them. 888 00:40:12.320 --> 00:40:15.760 Maybe these parents aren't the worst parents. Yeah, if we 889 00:40:15.880 --> 00:40:19.239 pulled these campers and we're like, so these two twins 890 00:40:19.320 --> 00:40:22.960 parents split them up at birth. Yeah, like didn't let 891 00:40:22.960 --> 00:40:25.159 them know about each other. How about you, guys, what 892 00:40:25.199 --> 00:40:25.679 do you got? 893 00:40:25.840 --> 00:40:27.679 And this kid is like, my parents told me I 894 00:40:27.719 --> 00:40:29.639 was going to a boys camp. They brought me here 895 00:40:29.719 --> 00:40:32.679 under completely false pretenses and have changed their number. 896 00:40:33.480 --> 00:40:34.880 I cannot get a hold of them. 897 00:40:34.920 --> 00:40:39.920 Ah, my parents just dropped me off in Maine. And 898 00:40:40.760 --> 00:40:42.760 figure it out and find your way to camp. 899 00:40:43.039 --> 00:40:44.639 Any child of ours would know how to survive in 900 00:40:44.679 --> 00:40:46.119 the wilderness anyway, You'll be fine. 901 00:40:46.239 --> 00:40:49.280 You'd be fine. So Halle and Annie take up residence 902 00:40:49.320 --> 00:40:52.159 in this one cabin by themselves, seemingly for the remainder 903 00:40:52.199 --> 00:40:52.880 of camp. 904 00:40:52.719 --> 00:40:54.719 There, yeah, which is like another seven weeks or something. 905 00:40:54.960 --> 00:40:58.159 Left to their own devices. At first, they made like 906 00:40:58.199 --> 00:41:01.400 they maintain an icy distance, but a storm blows in 907 00:41:01.440 --> 00:41:03.639 one day and they have to like batten down the hatches, 908 00:41:03.639 --> 00:41:06.639 like close the windows and stuff. And Annie helps Halle 909 00:41:06.639 --> 00:41:09.800 close a window that's stuck to prevent her pictures from 910 00:41:09.800 --> 00:41:11.960 blowing through the room. There's a funny moment here where 911 00:41:12.000 --> 00:41:15.159 she's like, I love Leonardo DiCaprio. She kisses a picture 912 00:41:15.159 --> 00:41:16.719 of him and the other little girl doesn't know who 913 00:41:16.760 --> 00:41:19.760 she is who he is rather, and I'm like, is 914 00:41:19.800 --> 00:41:22.440 there a moment where Lindsay Lohan and Leonardo DiCaprio have met? 915 00:41:24.199 --> 00:41:25.679 Like that was my first thought. I was like, there 916 00:41:25.719 --> 00:41:27.000 has to be. There has to be. They must have 917 00:41:27.079 --> 00:41:29.159 met a movie that they were both in at the 918 00:41:29.199 --> 00:41:31.320 same time together, or a picture of them at a 919 00:41:31.320 --> 00:41:35.639 party somewhere like outside smoking cigarettes. So the two girls 920 00:41:35.679 --> 00:41:38.000 start to bond. They don't talk about the fact that 921 00:41:38.000 --> 00:41:38.679 they're identical. 922 00:41:38.920 --> 00:41:40.760 No, no, no, no, Why would that they're not? 923 00:41:41.320 --> 00:41:45.280 Why Paul this is? Is this film about body dys morphia? 924 00:41:45.760 --> 00:41:48.360 Is this a movie about two teenage girls with such deep, 925 00:41:48.559 --> 00:41:51.320 deeply entrenched body dysmorphia that they don't know what they 926 00:41:51.320 --> 00:41:54.639 look like and they can't recognize themselves and other I 927 00:41:54.679 --> 00:41:55.519 wonder about. 928 00:41:55.280 --> 00:41:57.079 That sometimes much than we think. 929 00:41:57.320 --> 00:42:00.000 If I saw my identical twin walking down the street, 930 00:42:00.119 --> 00:42:02.559 would I be like, I don't recognize her because that's 931 00:42:02.559 --> 00:42:04.159 not what I see when I look in the mirror. 932 00:42:04.519 --> 00:42:05.960 Oh you know what I mean? 933 00:42:06.119 --> 00:42:08.599 Like that that sounds like a real a real pitch 934 00:42:08.599 --> 00:42:10.639 for a next David Cronenberg film, Like that is. 935 00:42:10.599 --> 00:42:14.920 In the original German novel I'm convinced. I'm convinced. So 936 00:42:14.960 --> 00:42:17.679 the two girls start to bond, and Hallie says that 937 00:42:17.719 --> 00:42:19.960 she only has a father. By the way, the parents 938 00:42:20.239 --> 00:42:21.960 told them enough to let them know that there is 939 00:42:22.039 --> 00:42:24.559 a parent out there. There. You have a mom out there. 940 00:42:24.760 --> 00:42:27.239 She just doesn't care to be involved in your life. 941 00:42:27.320 --> 00:42:29.800 I really wish one of them had been like, they're dead. 942 00:42:33.039 --> 00:42:35.079 Really really make this stick. 943 00:42:35.079 --> 00:42:38.320 The knife in just makes us so much worse. So 944 00:42:38.440 --> 00:42:40.639 and Annie's like, that's funny. You only have a father. 945 00:42:40.800 --> 00:42:42.639 I only have a mother. And then they realize they 946 00:42:42.679 --> 00:42:44.480 have the same birthday. They're both going to be twelve 947 00:42:44.559 --> 00:42:48.679 on October eleventh, with which Paul points out is actually impossible. 948 00:42:48.679 --> 00:42:49.559 But we're gonna move on. 949 00:42:49.639 --> 00:42:51.920 We're gonna it's also National coming out Day, which might 950 00:42:51.960 --> 00:42:52.719 be significant for. 951 00:42:52.679 --> 00:42:56.159 Hall He Hallie, Hallie girl, you are seen. 952 00:42:56.639 --> 00:42:56.920 Yeah. 953 00:42:56.960 --> 00:42:59.639 They also each only have a photo of their missing 954 00:42:59.679 --> 00:43:02.679 parent that's been ripped down the middle. They put the 955 00:43:02.679 --> 00:43:05.400 pictures together to form the photo we saw at the 956 00:43:05.440 --> 00:43:08.039 beginning of the film of Nick and Elizabeth's wedding, and 957 00:43:09.400 --> 00:43:12.639 low and behold, these two Jabbroni's finally figure it out. 958 00:43:13.360 --> 00:43:15.840 They're sisters. Not just sisters, they're twins. 959 00:43:16.199 --> 00:43:18.320 The upsetting part is that they are the most intelligent 960 00:43:18.320 --> 00:43:20.159 people depicted in the movie. 961 00:43:20.039 --> 00:43:22.280 Oh Bye by William I'm telling you, this is a 962 00:43:22.280 --> 00:43:25.719 film about body just morphing. These two don't know what 963 00:43:25.719 --> 00:43:26.719 they look like in real life. 964 00:43:26.880 --> 00:43:27.039 Yeah. 965 00:43:27.079 --> 00:43:29.599 Annie thinks she's blonde. Hallie thinks she's a brunette. 966 00:43:29.639 --> 00:43:33.400 Annie has like an idea. Halle is all kinds of 967 00:43:33.400 --> 00:43:37.599 messed up about what she looks like. She has no concepts. 968 00:43:37.719 --> 00:43:39.360 As much as I'm making fun of this, though, Paul, 969 00:43:39.840 --> 00:43:41.800 and this is where I was like, tuck, Lindsay Lohan 970 00:43:41.960 --> 00:43:45.000 is so goddamn good. I cried at the scene. Really, 971 00:43:45.159 --> 00:43:47.519 they're so good, she I say, they like it's two 972 00:43:47.559 --> 00:43:51.480 fucking girls. She's so good. She's so good at playing 973 00:43:51.519 --> 00:43:54.840 both these parts that when they when they're like we're sisters, like, 974 00:43:54.880 --> 00:43:55.800 oh god, I'm choking up. 975 00:43:55.840 --> 00:43:56.440 I'm choking up. 976 00:43:56.679 --> 00:43:59.760 The British one is like, we're not just sisters, we're twins, 977 00:43:59.800 --> 00:44:02.320 and they hug and I'm like, oh god, oh god. 978 00:44:02.199 --> 00:44:02.519 I'm good. 979 00:44:02.559 --> 00:44:03.320 Oh my god. 980 00:44:03.480 --> 00:44:05.599 That's so funny because I think I feel like I'm 981 00:44:05.679 --> 00:44:08.000 usually the easier target and that this did not make 982 00:44:08.039 --> 00:44:08.559 me tier up. 983 00:44:08.599 --> 00:44:09.920 This was not a Tierra moment for me. 984 00:44:10.159 --> 00:44:13.119 You are hopeless, my friend. This is so. 985 00:44:13.000 --> 00:44:15.719 Sweet, all right, So the two fill each other in 986 00:44:15.719 --> 00:44:18.079 on the parent they haven't met. Elizabeth is now an 987 00:44:18.119 --> 00:44:21.519 in demand wedding dress designer, while Nick runs a successful vineyard, 988 00:44:21.679 --> 00:44:24.639 perhaps the most successful vineyard ever in the history of 989 00:44:24.679 --> 00:44:27.000 time based on the amount of money he seems to have. 990 00:44:27.119 --> 00:44:27.920 But sure. 991 00:44:29.320 --> 00:44:32.360 Neither have ever gotten remarried. And then the twins have 992 00:44:32.440 --> 00:44:35.400 an idea. They should just swap places at the end 993 00:44:35.400 --> 00:44:37.880 of summer and give themselves a chance to spend time 994 00:44:37.960 --> 00:44:40.880 with the dead beat, I mean parent that they haven't met. 995 00:44:41.159 --> 00:44:44.159 I think dead beat's too good for these too. These 996 00:44:44.159 --> 00:44:46.880 two have a case. If these two wants to emancipate 997 00:44:46.920 --> 00:44:50.280 themselves and just live by themselves in a fucking penthouse 998 00:44:50.320 --> 00:44:51.599 in New York, they have a case. 999 00:44:51.679 --> 00:44:52.280 They have a case. 1000 00:44:52.480 --> 00:44:55.440 Our parents decided that not only were we going to 1001 00:44:55.480 --> 00:44:58.280 live apart, we were going to be lied to about 1002 00:44:58.320 --> 00:45:02.320 the very existence of our idea, twin for a decade 1003 00:45:02.559 --> 00:45:04.079 plus of our lives. 1004 00:45:04.280 --> 00:45:06.719 They need to get Macaulay Culkin's lawyer. They need to 1005 00:45:06.760 --> 00:45:09.880 emancipate Chessie and Martin can live with them and take 1006 00:45:09.920 --> 00:45:10.440 care of them. 1007 00:45:10.519 --> 00:45:11.400 That sounds perfect. 1008 00:45:11.480 --> 00:45:14.039 We just cut out these two assholes. These two fucking 1009 00:45:14.159 --> 00:45:19.199 monsters ripped us apart as children for apparently no reason 1010 00:45:19.519 --> 00:45:21.719 because the movie. I get it, it's a kid's movie. 1011 00:45:21.719 --> 00:45:23.679 They don't want to get deep into it. Ye. Yeah, 1012 00:45:23.400 --> 00:45:26.079 there's no fight, there's no thing of like I had 1013 00:45:26.119 --> 00:45:28.039 to go back to London for my job and I 1014 00:45:28.079 --> 00:45:31.400 had to stay in California for mine, literally anything, And 1015 00:45:31.599 --> 00:45:33.960 you're a degenerate gambler and that's why your kid knows 1016 00:45:33.960 --> 00:45:38.320 so much about poker. It apparently seems like they were 1017 00:45:38.400 --> 00:45:43.000 just like like, especially like her, and like Natasha Richards's 1018 00:45:43.039 --> 00:45:47.119 character woke up one day and was like, no, I'm done. 1019 00:45:47.280 --> 00:45:50.400 I'm done, Thank you sir, thanks for the sperm, thanks 1020 00:45:50.400 --> 00:45:52.599 for the kid, I'll see you later. 1021 00:45:52.639 --> 00:45:53.599 I'm out, all right. 1022 00:45:53.639 --> 00:45:56.119 So if they do this swap, the twins say eventually 1023 00:45:56.119 --> 00:45:58.239 they'll have to switch back, which will let their parents 1024 00:45:58.280 --> 00:46:00.480 meet again, because they already have this idea that their 1025 00:46:00.519 --> 00:46:03.079 parents are actually each other's one true love. Right they 1026 00:46:03.119 --> 00:46:05.039 split up at a They made a mistake splitting up, 1027 00:46:06.039 --> 00:46:08.679 so Annie and Hallie devote the rest of the summer 1028 00:46:08.719 --> 00:46:11.320 to giving each other crash courses in their home lives. 1029 00:46:11.360 --> 00:46:13.800 So that they can pass for each other. One moment 1030 00:46:13.880 --> 00:46:18.519 here where Annie describes to Hallie that she has a butler, 1031 00:46:18.599 --> 00:46:21.079 and Hallie goes, we have a butler, bitch, you have 1032 00:46:21.119 --> 00:46:25.480 a housekeeper. You also have a butler. She's just not 1033 00:46:25.599 --> 00:46:29.079 called a butler. And frankly, she's treated worse than the 1034 00:46:29.079 --> 00:46:30.079 butler is in England. 1035 00:46:30.239 --> 00:46:32.159 Oh yeah, definitely, way worse. 1036 00:46:32.199 --> 00:46:34.880 Way worse, because she's the only person on staff. 1037 00:46:35.159 --> 00:46:36.880 She has to do at the job of a butler, 1038 00:46:36.920 --> 00:46:39.760 a housekeeper, everything now nanny, she says, everything. 1039 00:46:40.159 --> 00:46:42.159 She has to be the mom. How's that? 1040 00:46:42.559 --> 00:46:45.199 How's that? Well? But then again, Martin does have to 1041 00:46:45.239 --> 00:46:47.960 be the daddy and the mom because Natasha Richardson is 1042 00:46:48.119 --> 00:46:49.000 checked out. 1043 00:46:49.280 --> 00:46:53.599 Natasha Richardson is the is the fun aunt, she's the fante, 1044 00:46:55.039 --> 00:46:55.880 She's the money. 1045 00:46:55.960 --> 00:46:58.880 That's all she is. Later in the film, I'm sorry, 1046 00:46:58.880 --> 00:47:01.239 I'm just gonna cut ahead, when when the kid who 1047 00:47:01.239 --> 00:47:03.800 goes back to London let's just call let's just say 1048 00:47:03.840 --> 00:47:06.559 Hallie because that's who it is, shows up at the house. 1049 00:47:06.719 --> 00:47:11.960 She's like, hello, Hello, is anyone hear And I'm like, 1050 00:47:12.519 --> 00:47:16.599 you were gone for eight weeks, your mom didn't meet 1051 00:47:16.599 --> 00:47:19.239 you at the airport. Your mom didn't meet you at 1052 00:47:19.239 --> 00:47:19.840 the door. 1053 00:47:19.960 --> 00:47:20.719 Your butler did. 1054 00:47:20.920 --> 00:47:24.119 Also. The butler pieced out, okay, I'm sorry, I'm cutting ahead, 1055 00:47:24.119 --> 00:47:26.639 I'm cutting ahead. They get to this girl's house in London. 1056 00:47:26.679 --> 00:47:29.159 The girl goes up the walk and enters through the 1057 00:47:29.199 --> 00:47:31.760 front door. The two servants that came with her do 1058 00:47:31.920 --> 00:47:34.519 not I in my head. They went around the back 1059 00:47:34.559 --> 00:47:36.119 and went in through the servant. 1060 00:47:35.880 --> 00:47:37.199 Entrance as they should have. 1061 00:47:37.360 --> 00:47:40.440 As they should no servant will go through the front 1062 00:47:40.440 --> 00:47:44.119 door in this house. And then the girl wanders through 1063 00:47:44.159 --> 00:47:46.199 the house. Do you know how long I was waiting 1064 00:47:46.199 --> 00:47:47.920 for the reveal that she walked into the wrong house 1065 00:47:47.960 --> 00:47:51.719 by accident because the house is hers perfect? How long 1066 00:47:51.840 --> 00:47:54.119 I was waiting for that to happen. And then she 1067 00:47:54.199 --> 00:47:58.400 sees the grandfather first, and then minutes later the mom 1068 00:47:58.519 --> 00:48:01.559 deigns to come down stair and it's like, hey, girl, 1069 00:48:01.719 --> 00:48:02.440 I missed you. 1070 00:48:03.480 --> 00:48:05.199 I was on a phone call. I care far more 1071 00:48:05.239 --> 00:48:06.159 about my career than you. 1072 00:48:06.199 --> 00:48:08.119 Just see. You know, she's the worst. 1073 00:48:09.719 --> 00:48:12.639 Okay, all right, back to this moment in the movie, though, 1074 00:48:12.679 --> 00:48:18.440 we'll get there. So we're almost there. So Hallie and 1075 00:48:18.480 --> 00:48:20.599 Annie are giving each other crash courses on how to 1076 00:48:20.639 --> 00:48:23.599 be how to disguise themselves. Right, This culminates in an 1077 00:48:23.679 --> 00:48:26.599 unwanted haircut and ear piercing for poor Annie. You could 1078 00:48:26.599 --> 00:48:28.119 think you could, you could have given won the ear 1079 00:48:28.159 --> 00:48:30.360 piercing and won the haircut, but they both land on 1080 00:48:30.400 --> 00:48:31.119 the British one. 1081 00:48:31.280 --> 00:48:33.480 Well, no, because the American can't grow her hair. 1082 00:48:33.840 --> 00:48:36.119 She is the short Well right, I just mean to say, like, 1083 00:48:36.159 --> 00:48:37.960 if she has the shorter hair, then make her be 1084 00:48:38.000 --> 00:48:39.320 the one who has to get her ears pierced. 1085 00:48:39.679 --> 00:48:41.119 She already has her ears pierced. 1086 00:48:42.000 --> 00:48:43.880 Right, Wait, I'm missing out. 1087 00:48:45.320 --> 00:48:48.079 I'm just saying, why does Annie have to go through 1088 00:48:48.079 --> 00:48:50.519 two tortures if she has to cut her hair? Just 1089 00:48:50.559 --> 00:48:52.119 write in the script that Hallie is the one who 1090 00:48:52.280 --> 00:48:54.719 doesn't have You're fixing. 1091 00:48:54.400 --> 00:48:58.679 The movie from the other side, gotcha? Hey, you're right? 1092 00:49:00.119 --> 00:49:01.559 Do they have to pierce your ears? All? You think 1093 00:49:01.559 --> 00:49:03.400 Dennis Quaid is going to be like, hey, what happened 1094 00:49:03.400 --> 00:49:04.039 to your pierce? 1095 00:49:04.320 --> 00:49:05.519 Yeah, pierced ears. 1096 00:49:05.639 --> 00:49:08.119 You know what, though Chessie might now now that I 1097 00:49:08.159 --> 00:49:10.800 know where this movie is, Chessie, the heartbeat would be 1098 00:49:10.800 --> 00:49:12.719 like your ears closed up? What the happens? 1099 00:49:12.840 --> 00:49:15.559 Yeah, chess But Chessie is like that anyway. Chessie knows 1100 00:49:15.599 --> 00:49:19.320 almost immediately she gets away with it for hours. 1101 00:49:20.199 --> 00:49:24.840 Chessie A Chessie is canonically the best parent in this film. 1102 00:49:24.920 --> 00:49:26.760 Martin comes a very close second. 1103 00:49:26.840 --> 00:49:28.920 Yeah, and then after that it's the dog Sam. 1104 00:49:29.239 --> 00:49:31.840 Yeah, well, you know what, I'm gonna give it to Meredith. 1105 00:49:32.679 --> 00:49:34.760 Give it to Meredith after this because okay, yeah, she's 1106 00:49:34.760 --> 00:49:35.639 substant at least. 1107 00:49:35.480 --> 00:49:37.719 She's disciplinary, and at least she's honest. 1108 00:49:37.880 --> 00:49:41.920 These could use some fucking discipline. Okay, So the end 1109 00:49:41.920 --> 00:49:44.320 of camp arrives, the twins go through with their plan. 1110 00:49:44.440 --> 00:49:47.639 Holle heads off first to London and that dystopian scene 1111 00:49:47.639 --> 00:49:51.719 that I described earlier, where like Martin lovingly meets her 1112 00:49:51.760 --> 00:49:55.639 at the airport, she successfully completes the secret handshake, the 1113 00:49:55.800 --> 00:49:59.119 like eleven step secret handshake that she Yeah, Annie and 1114 00:49:59.159 --> 00:50:02.159 Martin have so but Martin does not get suspicious about anything. 1115 00:50:02.880 --> 00:50:04.840 He doesn't even notice that she like stits her head 1116 00:50:04.840 --> 00:50:07.440 out the window like a labrador when she sees he's 1117 00:50:07.559 --> 00:50:11.880 like London. She comes home, her mom barely says hi 1118 00:50:11.960 --> 00:50:14.199 to her. Okay, I will say this, though, as much 1119 00:50:14.199 --> 00:50:16.280 as I'm making fun of the scene, this is a 1120 00:50:16.320 --> 00:50:18.960 cry number two. This is cry number two for Erica. 1121 00:50:19.119 --> 00:50:22.000 Oh really, Hallie just wants to meet her mom, and 1122 00:50:22.039 --> 00:50:23.880 she wants her mom to like her. So before she 1123 00:50:23.920 --> 00:50:25.960 meets her mom, she goes, please like me, Please like me, 1124 00:50:26.000 --> 00:50:29.639 Please like me, Like there's something so achingly vulnerable and 1125 00:50:29.679 --> 00:50:32.079 sweet about that, and I was just like, oh, and 1126 00:50:32.119 --> 00:50:35.519 so when Natasha Richardson, who by the way, is such 1127 00:50:35.519 --> 00:50:40.199 a great actress and is so charming, like so naturally 1128 00:50:40.320 --> 00:50:44.119 giftedly charming, because she actually makes this work, because it 1129 00:50:44.159 --> 00:50:46.280 isn't until you start to think about it after the 1130 00:50:46.320 --> 00:50:48.280 movie that you're like, that woman's a fucking monster. 1131 00:50:48.800 --> 00:50:52.519 And also she is fighting through one of the worst 1132 00:50:52.519 --> 00:50:54.880 haircuts I've ever seen on anybody. 1133 00:50:55.079 --> 00:50:56.920 It's a nineteen ninety eight haircut, my friend. 1134 00:50:57.079 --> 00:51:00.559 It is the same haircut that that doctor therape Melissa 1135 00:51:00.599 --> 00:51:03.039 Reeves played by Jamie Gertz hasn't twist her. Only it 1136 00:51:03.079 --> 00:51:07.000 looks way better on Jamie Gertz. This is awful on 1137 00:51:07.119 --> 00:51:08.320 Natasha richard Sidy. 1138 00:51:09.000 --> 00:51:12.199 He is late nineties Meg Ryan, who was by the way, 1139 00:51:12.199 --> 00:51:15.159 at the time married to Dennis Quay's haircut, Like, yeah, 1140 00:51:15.199 --> 00:51:16.920 it is. It is that pixie cut, but. 1141 00:51:16.960 --> 00:51:19.599 Like outgrown Hillary Clinton. 1142 00:51:19.280 --> 00:51:21.679 And didn't look good at anyone. Google Gwyneth Paltrow with 1143 00:51:21.719 --> 00:51:25.000 this haircut. Ooh, no mistake, that was a mistake. The 1144 00:51:25.039 --> 00:51:27.280 only person I said this before, and I maintained this 1145 00:51:27.440 --> 00:51:29.960 that makes his haircut work when on a writer. She's 1146 00:51:30.000 --> 00:51:33.719 the only person that was it. So Elizabeth, being being 1147 00:51:33.760 --> 00:51:36.000 a terrible parent, is completely taken in by the rus 1148 00:51:36.000 --> 00:51:38.079 immediately doesn't recognize that this isn't her kid. 1149 00:51:39.559 --> 00:51:43.239 Gotta say one bit of comedy gold that was absolutely 1150 00:51:43.320 --> 00:51:47.519 left on the field here was making Hallie as Annie 1151 00:51:47.559 --> 00:51:51.599 try British food beans on toast and blood sausage should 1152 00:51:51.599 --> 00:51:52.480 absolutely have been. 1153 00:51:52.400 --> 00:51:55.800 Served and vice versa, and like make Annie do some 1154 00:51:55.920 --> 00:51:59.239 like super California woo woo stuff. She's like, wait, what 1155 00:51:59.280 --> 00:52:02.840 are these crystals for? Are you fucking kidding me? So Elizabeth, 1156 00:52:02.920 --> 00:52:06.480 because she's the worst, gets a phone call from her job. 1157 00:52:06.559 --> 00:52:08.480 It's a photo shoot gone wrong, and she's like, would 1158 00:52:08.519 --> 00:52:10.559 you mind terribly going to work with me to her 1159 00:52:10.639 --> 00:52:13.199 daughter who she hasn't seen in two months, and the 1160 00:52:13.320 --> 00:52:15.679 daughter is like yes, because it's Hallie and she's coolest shit. 1161 00:52:16.079 --> 00:52:18.400 So they go to the shoot. There's a real model there, Vendla. 1162 00:52:18.559 --> 00:52:21.320 She'd I forgot her last name. She's a real fashion model. 1163 00:52:21.320 --> 00:52:24.320 From the nineties. In that scene, they have fun at 1164 00:52:24.360 --> 00:52:27.480 the shoot. Hallie is loving her new glamorous life as 1165 00:52:27.519 --> 00:52:31.360 glamorous as the California life. Is this life? The London 1166 00:52:31.400 --> 00:52:33.039 life is so glamorous. 1167 00:52:33.400 --> 00:52:33.719 Yeah. 1168 00:52:33.760 --> 00:52:36.920 They live in a mansion in London. The mom's a 1169 00:52:36.960 --> 00:52:39.800 famous fashion designer. They're friends with models, They're friends with 1170 00:52:39.920 --> 00:52:42.159 like it's very fucking cool. If I had to pick, 1171 00:52:42.159 --> 00:52:43.960 I'd pick this one of the two lives. 1172 00:52:44.159 --> 00:52:45.960 I think I would actually pick California. 1173 00:52:46.119 --> 00:52:47.760 That makes sense with the two of us, Paul, Yeah, 1174 00:52:47.760 --> 00:52:48.239 it makes sense. 1175 00:52:48.320 --> 00:52:49.519 But I get bored in Napa. 1176 00:52:49.559 --> 00:52:51.599 You're right, No, No, maybe it would be London, but 1177 00:52:51.679 --> 00:52:52.440 it would be it would be hard. 1178 00:52:52.920 --> 00:52:55.320 Did the beauty of the California Probably? 1179 00:52:55.400 --> 00:52:56.519 Yeah, it's so beautiful. 1180 00:52:56.599 --> 00:52:57.280 Napa's pretty. 1181 00:52:57.360 --> 00:52:59.079 Napa has stuff, though, I'm sure, like. 1182 00:52:59.320 --> 00:53:01.280 You're close to say, in Francisco doesn't have the West 1183 00:53:01.360 --> 00:53:02.719 End though you're close. 1184 00:53:02.559 --> 00:53:05.079 To the culture. Yeah, they have the West End like they 1185 00:53:05.119 --> 00:53:06.119 have London. They have London. 1186 00:53:06.199 --> 00:53:06.440 Yeah. 1187 00:53:06.440 --> 00:53:09.000 So anyway, and so she starts to bring up her 1188 00:53:09.000 --> 00:53:12.480 father and Elizabeth tells Halle the story. She's I'm shocked. 1189 00:53:12.519 --> 00:53:14.079 I was expecting her to be more like, No, I 1190 00:53:14.119 --> 00:53:16.400 don't want to talk about that, but she's like, well 1191 00:53:16.440 --> 00:53:18.519 we met on the Qui two blah blah blah. This 1192 00:53:18.599 --> 00:53:20.159 is when we find out they met on the first 1193 00:53:20.239 --> 00:53:22.599 day of a seven day cruise and got married by 1194 00:53:22.599 --> 00:53:23.039 the end of it. 1195 00:53:23.360 --> 00:53:23.559 Yep. 1196 00:53:23.719 --> 00:53:26.960 We cut to Napa Airport where Nick is waiting to 1197 00:53:27.000 --> 00:53:29.039 greet Halle, who is of course really. 1198 00:53:28.840 --> 00:53:33.039 In Nick, being canonically the better parent, actually fucking picks 1199 00:53:33.039 --> 00:53:34.119 his kid up at the airport. 1200 00:53:34.559 --> 00:53:36.679 Annie is not as smooth as her sister. She can 1201 00:53:36.719 --> 00:53:39.519 barely keep it together as she's talking to Nick. She's 1202 00:53:39.639 --> 00:53:41.679 saying Britishism is like, oh, it was horrid, you know, 1203 00:53:41.719 --> 00:53:43.679 and he's like horrid? Does he need a finishing school? 1204 00:53:43.760 --> 00:53:47.559 So she's not quite as smooth as Halle wasn't trained 1205 00:53:47.599 --> 00:53:50.559 at the feet of Billy from Big Nick also mentions 1206 00:53:50.599 --> 00:53:52.519 that a lot has been happening in the eight weeks 1207 00:53:52.519 --> 00:53:54.440 since she's been gone, but she doesn't really clock that, 1208 00:53:54.920 --> 00:53:58.360 and he drives her back to their enormous Napa Valley 1209 00:53:58.800 --> 00:54:02.599 estate with a vineyard attack, where she's greeted by Chessie 1210 00:54:02.639 --> 00:54:06.360 played by Melissa and Walter. She's her nanny, she's their cook, 1211 00:54:06.480 --> 00:54:10.320 she's everything, and she immediately says something is changed, like 1212 00:54:10.440 --> 00:54:14.760 even almost before she says anything. Chessie's like, huh, that's weird. 1213 00:54:15.039 --> 00:54:16.679 You look different, you seem different. 1214 00:54:16.800 --> 00:54:19.000 Yeah, where do you think the name Chessie came from? 1215 00:54:19.880 --> 00:54:20.719 What's your real name? 1216 00:54:20.920 --> 00:54:25.400 Duchess Chesterton, Chesterton. 1217 00:54:25.320 --> 00:54:27.239 Chester Chester. Her real name is Chester. 1218 00:54:27.320 --> 00:54:28.159 Her name is Chester. 1219 00:54:28.239 --> 00:54:30.280 Yeah, her name is Chesty. But she's like, you know what, 1220 00:54:30.320 --> 00:54:32.079 if I'm going to be a professional nanny, I should 1221 00:54:32.079 --> 00:54:33.079 probably take the tea out. 1222 00:54:33.639 --> 00:54:35.679 Yeah. 1223 00:54:36.039 --> 00:54:37.960 One thing I did notice about this scene is that 1224 00:54:38.079 --> 00:54:41.079 Annie is informed that she will be participating in the unpacking, 1225 00:54:41.360 --> 00:54:45.960 whereas in Britain, Martin just unpacks for Hallie. Yeah, don't 1226 00:54:46.159 --> 00:54:50.360 have servants do shit for children. It will make them assholes. 1227 00:54:51.039 --> 00:54:53.039 I don't care. I want it. I want that life. 1228 00:54:53.159 --> 00:54:55.840 You can have it now. Now you're not an asshole. 1229 00:54:55.920 --> 00:54:58.440 You have to fully form into a non asshole before 1230 00:54:58.480 --> 00:55:01.800 the stuff like this could happen. Their family dog, Sammy, 1231 00:55:01.800 --> 00:55:05.119 who's this beautiful golden lab or golden retriever, is not 1232 00:55:05.199 --> 00:55:05.760 fooled at all. 1233 00:55:05.840 --> 00:55:06.480 He barks it. 1234 00:55:06.599 --> 00:55:09.960 He barks it Annie right away, not aggressively, just like hey, stupid, 1235 00:55:10.119 --> 00:55:11.920 that's not Hallie, right, that kind of thing. 1236 00:55:12.159 --> 00:55:12.679 Yeah. 1237 00:55:12.840 --> 00:55:14.960 Nick tells Annie that he has someone he wants her 1238 00:55:14.960 --> 00:55:17.800 to meet when she's done unpacking, And we see her 1239 00:55:17.840 --> 00:55:21.400 father talking to this woman outside, and Annie and Chessie 1240 00:55:21.400 --> 00:55:24.039 go upstairs to unpack, and she pumps Chessie for information 1241 00:55:24.480 --> 00:55:27.960 and Chessie dishes with almost no. 1242 00:55:29.719 --> 00:55:31.639 You know what, I'm starting to go back to Martin 1243 00:55:31.679 --> 00:55:34.239 being the better parent because everything Chessie does here is 1244 00:55:34.400 --> 00:55:35.480 shady as fuck. 1245 00:55:35.679 --> 00:55:37.440 It's shady as fuck. But you know what, she I 1246 00:55:37.519 --> 00:55:40.400 believe she did that to protect Nick. She was like, 1247 00:55:40.559 --> 00:55:43.480 I don't have the power or standing in this family 1248 00:55:43.760 --> 00:55:45.360 to derail this relationship. 1249 00:55:45.639 --> 00:55:47.480 So I'm gonna put it on an eleven year old. 1250 00:55:47.639 --> 00:55:49.000 I'm gonna play my trump card. 1251 00:55:49.119 --> 00:55:51.280 I don't know. I don't like that. I don't like this. 1252 00:55:51.400 --> 00:55:53.679 She sticks with the onus of this on that kid, 1253 00:55:53.760 --> 00:55:54.000 all right. 1254 00:55:54.079 --> 00:55:57.119 So Chessie tells Annie, who she thinks is Hallie, that 1255 00:55:57.199 --> 00:55:59.760 the woman is Meredith Blake. She's a publicist from Sam 1256 00:55:59.800 --> 00:56:02.039 Prance Cisco who Nick hired to help with the vineyard, 1257 00:56:02.679 --> 00:56:05.079 and basically all but says that she's a gold digger. 1258 00:56:05.559 --> 00:56:07.800 She when she says the word publicist, she makes it 1259 00:56:07.840 --> 00:56:10.679 sound like she's saying sex worker. Yeah, She's like she's 1260 00:56:10.719 --> 00:56:14.599 a publicist if you know what I mean. I'm like, 1261 00:56:14.840 --> 00:56:15.760 you made a publicist. 1262 00:56:15.920 --> 00:56:16.920 I think you mean a publicist. 1263 00:56:16.920 --> 00:56:20.119 We're running a multimillion dollar business here, we're selling goods 1264 00:56:20.159 --> 00:56:23.159 and services to the public. We should probably have a publicist. 1265 00:56:23.559 --> 00:56:27.199 So Annie heads downstairs and we meet Meredith, played by 1266 00:56:27.239 --> 00:56:28.039 the great. 1267 00:56:27.800 --> 00:56:31.960 Elaine Hendrix, another famous lesbian from another movie, Lisa Lutner 1268 00:56:32.119 --> 00:56:34.880 from Roman Michell's High School Union. That's right, that's all 1269 00:56:35.079 --> 00:56:36.119 lesbian extraordinaire. 1270 00:56:36.400 --> 00:56:38.480 This is who went Okay, you know how I said. 1271 00:56:38.480 --> 00:56:41.119 Hallie has body dysmorphia. When she looks in the mirror, 1272 00:56:41.239 --> 00:56:44.960 she thinks she looks like Elaine Hendrix, but not this version. 1273 00:56:45.039 --> 00:56:46.960 She thinks she looks like Lisa Lutner from Rome and 1274 00:56:46.960 --> 00:56:49.559 Michell's High School Reunion in the in the fucking power 1275 00:56:49.639 --> 00:56:52.440 suit with the hot lesbian haircut. That's who she thinks 1276 00:56:52.480 --> 00:56:57.480 she is. Yeah, Meredith is very smarmy, Like really, Elaine 1277 00:56:57.519 --> 00:57:01.039 Hendricks plays bitch so well. It's like she's the subtle 1278 00:57:01.079 --> 00:57:03.679 actress too. She doesn't play it so over the top. Yeah, 1279 00:57:03.719 --> 00:57:06.280 she's so good in this movie. So Annie of course 1280 00:57:06.360 --> 00:57:10.400 immediately hates her, because yeah she should. Meredith sucks. She 1281 00:57:10.480 --> 00:57:12.880 immediately is like Annie because she is the smarter of 1282 00:57:12.920 --> 00:57:15.719 the two. Hallie might be wilier, but Annie is the 1283 00:57:15.800 --> 00:57:17.840 smart one. So she's like, I know how to get 1284 00:57:17.880 --> 00:57:21.119 under someone's skin in under two seconds. She goes cause 1285 00:57:21.159 --> 00:57:22.840 maredth is like how old are you? And she's like, 1286 00:57:22.960 --> 00:57:27.599 I'm eleven? How old are you? And Meredith grits her 1287 00:57:27.599 --> 00:57:31.199 teeth and is like, I'm twenty six. And then Hallie's like, 1288 00:57:31.320 --> 00:57:35.159 or Annie, I should say, is like, how old are you? Dad? 1289 00:57:35.559 --> 00:57:39.280 So your girlfriend is only fifteen years older than me? 1290 00:57:40.119 --> 00:57:42.599 How much younger? How much older than her? Are you? 1291 00:57:42.760 --> 00:57:46.440 She's all of us out loud, thinking everyone extremely uncomfortable. 1292 00:57:47.079 --> 00:57:50.199 Nick is called inside and the two women are left outside. Well, 1293 00:57:50.440 --> 00:57:52.719 the woman and the girl are left outside. Annie's in 1294 00:57:52.760 --> 00:57:55.880 the pool, Meredith is on a deck chair. Meredith feels 1295 00:57:55.920 --> 00:57:58.719 a call from a charity and turns it down on 1296 00:57:58.800 --> 00:58:01.920 Nick's behalf right. She's like, no, he's not doing that. 1297 00:58:02.000 --> 00:58:04.320 He's out of the country. I'm so sorry. Annie turns 1298 00:58:04.320 --> 00:58:06.000 to her and she's like, wait, is my dad leaving 1299 00:58:06.000 --> 00:58:07.679 the country And She's like no, no, no, I'm actually 1300 00:58:07.719 --> 00:58:10.559 being a good publicist and doing my job. Right after 1301 00:58:10.599 --> 00:58:13.159 the call, Meredith tries to bond with Annie, and he's like, 1302 00:58:13.320 --> 00:58:18.800 absolutely not. He totally gaslights Meredith. She's like, so, how 1303 00:58:18.840 --> 00:58:22.559 does it feel to be Dad's twenty ninth girlfriend? Yeah, Eddie, 1304 00:58:22.599 --> 00:58:24.000 She's like, what do you mean? And she's like, oh, 1305 00:58:24.039 --> 00:58:26.679 he's had a lot of women before you. It's always 1306 00:58:26.719 --> 00:58:29.239 the same routine, lovey dovey. Then he takes out a 1307 00:58:29.239 --> 00:58:33.000 bottle from his special like Vintage or whatever. How that 1308 00:58:33.119 --> 00:58:37.440 girl knew that was coming is a fucking like, she's incredible. 1309 00:58:37.079 --> 00:58:39.480 She's studied up with Hallie, she did her homework. 1310 00:58:39.639 --> 00:58:41.719 Yeah, of course. Nick comes out and he's like, I 1311 00:58:41.760 --> 00:58:44.719 got a bottle from my special Vintage for everyone, and 1312 00:58:44.719 --> 00:58:47.440 Annie like winks at Meredith, like block sister. 1313 00:58:47.880 --> 00:58:50.639 So Annie manages to get Halle on the phone. She 1314 00:58:50.719 --> 00:58:53.360 reports on Meredith, but Halle doesn't believe her about the 1315 00:58:53.360 --> 00:58:56.920 seriousness of the situation, and she tells Annie just sabotage 1316 00:58:56.960 --> 00:59:00.480 the relationship and refuses to bring Elizabeth to California immediately. 1317 00:59:00.480 --> 00:59:02.679 She's like, no, I've had one day with Mom. I'm 1318 00:59:02.760 --> 00:59:06.119 staying here, Like, deal with this situation, okay, Erica, I 1319 00:59:06.119 --> 00:59:08.239 have an alternate I have an alternate film to. 1320 00:59:08.199 --> 00:59:08.719 Pitch for you. 1321 00:59:09.039 --> 00:59:13.119 Oh okay, what if Hallie just like single white females. Annie, 1322 00:59:13.519 --> 00:59:16.239 so like she's like, I'm doubling down. When when she 1323 00:59:16.360 --> 00:59:17.960 tries to switch back, I was gonna be like, well, 1324 00:59:17.960 --> 00:59:20.920 I don't know who this person is. I'm Annie, I 1325 00:59:21.039 --> 00:59:24.079 belong in London, and she tries to steal her life. 1326 00:59:24.280 --> 00:59:25.360 She steals her life. 1327 00:59:25.400 --> 00:59:26.000 I'm telling you. 1328 00:59:26.039 --> 00:59:27.519 It has like remember the good Son. 1329 00:59:27.639 --> 00:59:29.639 Remember that there was like a there was a series 1330 00:59:29.679 --> 00:59:31.800 of like evil children movies in the nineties. 1331 00:59:31.800 --> 00:59:33.199 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that would. 1332 00:59:32.960 --> 00:59:35.760 Fit so beautifully in that genre of like a little 1333 00:59:35.760 --> 00:59:38.480 girl who's Oh paul I love this idea. 1334 00:59:38.599 --> 00:59:39.920 Yeah, this is a great idea. 1335 00:59:40.039 --> 00:59:42.800 That is a pitch, that is a Yes, it is 1336 00:59:42.840 --> 00:59:45.719 a parent trap, but it goes horribly wrong. 1337 00:59:46.000 --> 00:59:50.000 Yes, yes, Nick ends up married to Meredith. Meredith really 1338 00:59:50.039 --> 00:59:53.400 does ship that girl off to like some boding school somewhere. 1339 00:59:53.159 --> 00:59:55.840 And it's the proper nice British one, whereas the American 1340 00:59:55.880 --> 00:59:58.320 one is like, it's just like living her best life 1341 00:59:58.360 --> 00:59:58.880 in London. 1342 00:59:59.480 --> 01:00:03.880 Yes, she's like, you mean my mom, not our mom. 1343 01:00:03.639 --> 01:00:05.119 And she just hangs up the phone. 1344 01:00:05.559 --> 01:00:09.239 Yeah, oh I love it, paul I love it, except 1345 01:00:09.280 --> 01:00:11.920 probably she would have to kill Martin because Martin, you 1346 01:00:12.039 --> 01:00:14.639 figure it out that because these movies have to get dark, right, 1347 01:00:14.679 --> 01:00:16.159 So Martin figures it out somehow. 1348 01:00:16.239 --> 01:00:17.920 But that's a great third act twist. 1349 01:00:18.119 --> 01:00:21.159 Yeah, Martin figures it out, and Hallie has to kill 1350 01:00:21.320 --> 01:00:23.599 Martin to keep her secret from coming out. But she's 1351 01:00:23.639 --> 01:00:27.960 not Annie. Oh she throws him down the stairs. 1352 01:00:28.360 --> 01:00:29.599 Yeah, or she poisons him. 1353 01:00:29.599 --> 01:00:33.719 She poisons his crumpets. Oh my god, Paul like this movie. 1354 01:00:34.639 --> 01:00:37.039 She pushes him off of big bed, she gets him 1355 01:00:37.039 --> 01:00:39.800 on the eye and then just yes, defenestrates him off 1356 01:00:39.800 --> 01:00:41.239 of the eye of the eye. 1357 01:00:41.440 --> 01:00:44.360 She tosses him in the Thames. She locks him in 1358 01:00:44.400 --> 01:00:46.719 the dungeon part of the Tower of London and throws 1359 01:00:46.760 --> 01:00:47.360 away the key. 1360 01:00:49.519 --> 01:00:52.840 She starts just a slow psychological torture of him, where 1361 01:00:52.840 --> 01:00:55.360 she keeps taking his shoes and she makes them half 1362 01:00:55.360 --> 01:00:57.199 a size smaller every three days. 1363 01:00:57.239 --> 01:00:59.880 Oh yes, but it's with his speedo. 1364 01:01:01.920 --> 01:01:03.679 We are gonna get to the Martin speedo moment, and 1365 01:01:03.719 --> 01:01:06.039 we're gonna celebrate Martin full throatedly. 1366 01:01:06.280 --> 01:01:08.679 Oh my god, this you know what, Let's stop talking 1367 01:01:08.679 --> 01:01:10.880 about this stupid hoofy and write our own guys, we 1368 01:01:10.960 --> 01:01:11.360 gotta go. 1369 01:01:11.880 --> 01:01:13.039 We're busy, all right. 1370 01:01:13.239 --> 01:01:17.280 Back in California, Jesse continues to notice changes in quote 1371 01:01:17.320 --> 01:01:18.199 unquote Halle. 1372 01:01:18.280 --> 01:01:19.880 She calls out her lack of appetite. 1373 01:01:20.119 --> 01:01:22.840 She calls out her phoning someone at like midnight the 1374 01:01:22.920 --> 01:01:26.440 night before Annie manages to put her off again. She 1375 01:01:26.519 --> 01:01:29.199 goes on a horseback ride with Nick. She's quizzing him 1376 01:01:29.199 --> 01:01:31.159 about her mother, and she's basically like, oh, you know, 1377 01:01:31.159 --> 01:01:32.320 I'm gonna be thirteen soon. 1378 01:01:32.360 --> 01:01:33.000 I need a mom. 1379 01:01:33.039 --> 01:01:34.639 And he's like, I was wondering, what do you think 1380 01:01:34.679 --> 01:01:38.280 of Meredith as a person, and Annie very rightfully points 1381 01:01:38.320 --> 01:01:40.880 out that the woman is a stranger and then takes 1382 01:01:40.920 --> 01:01:43.119 off on a horse before Nick can say anything crazy, 1383 01:01:43.239 --> 01:01:44.800 like I'm engaged to Meredith. 1384 01:01:45.440 --> 01:01:48.400 That is how rich these bitches are. Both these girls, 1385 01:01:48.480 --> 01:01:51.480 doesn't matter where they're from. Both of them are expert 1386 01:01:51.480 --> 01:01:52.159 horse riders. 1387 01:01:52.239 --> 01:01:53.199 Yeah, no problem. 1388 01:01:53.199 --> 01:01:55.800 That would have been another great twist to throw in. 1389 01:01:55.840 --> 01:01:58.559 One of them's afraid of horses and you're like, I 1390 01:01:58.599 --> 01:02:01.039 can't get on a horse, But no, they're both expert 1391 01:02:01.079 --> 01:02:02.719 horse riders. That's not even a question. 1392 01:02:02.880 --> 01:02:06.519 Expert poker players, world class horseback riders, and Olympic medalists 1393 01:02:06.519 --> 01:02:06.960 in EPI. 1394 01:02:07.079 --> 01:02:09.079 By the way, did I did you think the fencing 1395 01:02:09.159 --> 01:02:11.000 was going to come back, because I sure as shit did, 1396 01:02:11.000 --> 01:02:12.519 and I was really disappointed when it did. 1397 01:02:12.719 --> 01:02:14.519 I thought the fencing was coming back. I thought the 1398 01:02:14.559 --> 01:02:16.679 poker was coming back. I thought the turning down the 1399 01:02:16.760 --> 01:02:19.000 charity without telling him was coming back. I thought the 1400 01:02:19.000 --> 01:02:21.440 horseback riding was coming back. None of this comes back. 1401 01:02:21.760 --> 01:02:25.159 None of this comes back. So back of the house, 1402 01:02:25.320 --> 01:02:28.119 Annie is starting to panic. Poor Annie, he really has 1403 01:02:28.199 --> 01:02:29.679 been put in a tricky situation. 1404 01:02:30.039 --> 01:02:32.519 After getting her hair chopped off and her ears pierced 1405 01:02:32.519 --> 01:02:34.800 by an eleven year old, she's really had the rougher 1406 01:02:34.800 --> 01:02:35.199 go of it. 1407 01:02:35.599 --> 01:02:38.960 That ear piercing scene is insane, by the way. 1408 01:02:39.039 --> 01:02:41.159 We did not really like, we didn't dwell. 1409 01:02:41.400 --> 01:02:44.840 We didn't dwell. That is like body horror. So she's 1410 01:02:44.880 --> 01:02:47.880 like walking around panicking. She's talking to herself, right, and 1411 01:02:47.920 --> 01:02:50.679 she thinks she's by herself, so she drops the accent. 1412 01:02:51.199 --> 01:02:53.440 She starts to speak in her British accent. She's like, 1413 01:02:53.440 --> 01:02:55.360 what am I gonna do? How do I fix this? 1414 01:02:55.920 --> 01:02:59.559 Not realizing that Chessie is sitting in an armchair not 1415 01:02:59.599 --> 01:03:03.920 far away like and she can't see her. Chessie turns around, 1416 01:03:04.000 --> 01:03:05.920 she turns out of the armchair and she's like, what's 1417 01:03:05.960 --> 01:03:08.960 going on. She doesn't come clean right away. She's like, 1418 01:03:08.960 --> 01:03:10.599 what do you mean? I don't know what you're talking about, 1419 01:03:10.920 --> 01:03:13.719 And this is a beautifully acted scene. Chessie's like, if 1420 01:03:13.760 --> 01:03:15.840 I didn't know any better, I would think you and 1421 01:03:15.880 --> 01:03:18.840 she's like you know what, No, never mind, never mind, 1422 01:03:19.239 --> 01:03:22.920 and she starts to walk away and Annie comes clean. 1423 01:03:23.000 --> 01:03:25.280 She goes, would you think I was Annie? She chooses 1424 01:03:25.280 --> 01:03:28.440 her English accent and Chessie's like, oh my god, are 1425 01:03:28.440 --> 01:03:30.440 you Annie? Like that is the moment in the movie 1426 01:03:30.480 --> 01:03:32.360 where I realized that Chessie knows about it. 1427 01:03:32.519 --> 01:03:37.039 I know, Bigan. I'm like, what, yeah, what everyone knows? 1428 01:03:37.280 --> 01:03:37.840 Everyone knows. 1429 01:03:37.880 --> 01:03:39.760 And this was the moment where I teared up because 1430 01:03:39.800 --> 01:03:43.639 Lisa Ann Walter just fucking owns this moment. 1431 01:03:43.960 --> 01:03:48.840 Every single time someone meets one of the twins in 1432 01:03:48.840 --> 01:03:52.400 the movie, I fucking lose my shit. And this is again, Yeah, 1433 01:03:52.440 --> 01:03:55.079 this was another one for me where she's like, oh 1434 01:03:55.159 --> 01:03:59.239 my god, you're Annie and they hug. Oh it's so sweet. 1435 01:03:59.719 --> 01:04:04.360 Nick peers Chessie like being the fucking best being, like 1436 01:04:04.400 --> 01:04:07.000 an a class lady, does not give Annie up. She 1437 01:04:07.119 --> 01:04:08.599 just hugs her again and she's like, I'm gonna make 1438 01:04:08.599 --> 01:04:10.760 you something special. I'm gonna cook everything in the kitchen 1439 01:04:10.800 --> 01:04:14.199 for you, and she leaves. Nick asks Annie, but who 1440 01:04:14.239 --> 01:04:17.119 he thinks is still Halle Because he's clinically. 1441 01:04:16.639 --> 01:04:17.440 Saying an idiot. 1442 01:04:17.920 --> 01:04:20.480 He is, by the film's own admission, the better of 1443 01:04:20.519 --> 01:04:22.840 the two parents, the more active of the two parents. 1444 01:04:23.159 --> 01:04:26.239 He and Hallie spend every day together. They do everything together. 1445 01:04:26.280 --> 01:04:30.559 They're best friends. We know why Elizabeth doesn't recognize when 1446 01:04:30.639 --> 01:04:33.440 she comes home, because she's like, oh you, it's you again. 1447 01:04:33.920 --> 01:04:35.079 Were you always a girl? 1448 01:04:35.559 --> 01:04:38.679 A fully different person could have walked Keky Palmer could 1449 01:04:38.679 --> 01:04:42.000 have walked through, and Elizabeth wouldn't have noticed a difference. 1450 01:04:42.280 --> 01:04:44.360 She would have been like, well, welcome back. That's something 1451 01:04:44.559 --> 01:04:46.559 me to come home from camp. I really expect you 1452 01:04:46.599 --> 01:04:49.840 to stay there anyway, gotta go. Nick is supposed to 1453 01:04:49.880 --> 01:04:52.079 be the good parent, and he still does not realize 1454 01:04:52.119 --> 01:04:55.239 it's not his kid. Yeah, and he asks Annie, what 1455 01:04:55.320 --> 01:04:57.639 do you think about making a Meredith a part of 1456 01:04:57.719 --> 01:05:01.679 this family? Annie, knowing full well she's doing here, pretends 1457 01:05:01.719 --> 01:05:05.639 to be thrilled. She's like, oh, my god, dad, that 1458 01:05:05.639 --> 01:05:08.519 would be incredible. I've always wanted a big sister. 1459 01:05:08.880 --> 01:05:10.599 That was fucking funny. 1460 01:05:10.800 --> 01:05:15.639 That was Matthew Avellian, will your dad an old sick fuck? 1461 01:05:16.119 --> 01:05:21.320 Absolutely way to call him a cradle robbing creak, pervert, 1462 01:05:21.559 --> 01:05:25.360 pervert to his face without actually calling him this. She's like, 1463 01:05:25.480 --> 01:05:27.559 I've always wanted a big sister, and he's like, wait what. 1464 01:05:27.679 --> 01:05:32.760 She's like, You're gonna adopt Meredith. That's wonderful. I love 1465 01:05:32.840 --> 01:05:34.239 this for all of us. 1466 01:05:34.360 --> 01:05:36.639 I hope you put on sunblock before going horseback riding 1467 01:05:36.639 --> 01:05:37.719 because he can get it burnt. 1468 01:05:38.000 --> 01:05:42.159 That fucking burn that is. Annie should work for the CIA. Honestly, 1469 01:05:42.199 --> 01:05:45.079 Hallie should be an international spy and Annie should be 1470 01:05:45.159 --> 01:05:47.960 her handler at the CIA too. You need to run 1471 01:05:48.000 --> 01:05:48.719 the fucking world. 1472 01:05:48.760 --> 01:05:49.519 It would be awesome. 1473 01:05:49.599 --> 01:05:53.559 They were. They're so evil. I love it. So Nick's like, no, no, no, no, no, 1474 01:05:53.960 --> 01:05:56.599 I'm not going to adopt Meredith. I'm going to marry 1475 01:05:56.599 --> 01:05:59.000 her because you can't fuck someone you've adopted. I've looked 1476 01:05:59.000 --> 01:05:59.360 into it. 1477 01:05:59.440 --> 01:06:03.159 Now. Did they change or is that you know what? 1478 01:06:03.599 --> 01:06:04.480 I believe it. 1479 01:06:04.519 --> 01:06:06.440 Was legal in New York until that, and then they 1480 01:06:06.480 --> 01:06:08.000 were like, no, well, we didn't think we had to 1481 01:06:08.000 --> 01:06:08.880 write this law. 1482 01:06:08.719 --> 01:06:09.679 But I guess we do. 1483 01:06:10.199 --> 01:06:12.480 It's like one of those old laws where you're like, oh, 1484 01:06:12.519 --> 01:06:15.719 that sex with a horse and you're like, yeah, yeah, 1485 01:06:15.840 --> 01:06:18.559 I guess someone had to write it down and make 1486 01:06:18.599 --> 01:06:21.079 it a law because too many people were doing it. 1487 01:06:21.719 --> 01:06:25.039 So Annie gets so upset at this revelation that's not 1488 01:06:25.079 --> 01:06:28.199 really a revelation that she starts ranting in French because 1489 01:06:28.239 --> 01:06:31.679 she forgets that Hallie does not speak French. And Nick 1490 01:06:31.800 --> 01:06:35.239 is like, hey, calm down, Everything's gonna be okay, it'll 1491 01:06:35.280 --> 01:06:37.360 be fine. Hey were you just speaking French with the 1492 01:06:37.360 --> 01:06:39.760 fuck And he's like, I learned it at camp. Don't 1493 01:06:39.760 --> 01:06:44.320 worry about it. Leave me alone, you pervert. Nick's like relax, 1494 01:06:44.400 --> 01:06:46.519 it'll be fine, and she's like, you can't get married. 1495 01:06:46.559 --> 01:06:49.559 You'll ruin everything, and then she runs away. It's in 1496 01:06:49.599 --> 01:06:51.840 about three months that she's about to turn into the 1497 01:06:51.840 --> 01:06:53.960 beast with the two wolves inside of her. The one 1498 01:06:54.039 --> 01:06:56.719 is being written by Anna Winter. The one is being 1499 01:06:56.800 --> 01:07:03.559 written by Elizabeth Bathory, where she's like, I want to 1500 01:07:03.599 --> 01:07:05.440 bathe in the blood of everyone, but I want to 1501 01:07:05.440 --> 01:07:06.960 do it in a way that makes them look up 1502 01:07:06.960 --> 01:07:07.599 to me something. 1503 01:07:08.519 --> 01:07:10.039 I want to make them say thank you after I 1504 01:07:10.079 --> 01:07:14.440 do it. Yeah, all right, So Meredith appears. She assures 1505 01:07:14.519 --> 01:07:17.480 Nick that she'll talk to Halle and iron things out 1506 01:07:18.119 --> 01:07:20.840 and she finds her sitting Annie actually but she thinks 1507 01:07:20.840 --> 01:07:23.679 she's Halle. She finds her sitting in a gazebo and 1508 01:07:23.719 --> 01:07:27.239 the two finally just take the gloves off. Annie tells 1509 01:07:27.280 --> 01:07:30.159 Meredith that marriage is based on more than just sex appeals. 1510 01:07:30.199 --> 01:07:32.599 She's like, you're beautiful, but that's all you got, and 1511 01:07:32.679 --> 01:07:36.039 Meredith insists that she adores Nick and nothing that Hallie 1512 01:07:36.119 --> 01:07:39.079 does will come between them. They are getting married in 1513 01:07:39.159 --> 01:07:42.039 two weeks, and Annie asks if that means his money 1514 01:07:42.079 --> 01:07:45.119 has nothing to do with the relationship, and Meredith tells 1515 01:07:45.119 --> 01:07:47.639 her that she's in way over her head. 1516 01:07:48.159 --> 01:07:50.519 Is this the scene where we meet Meredith's gay assistant 1517 01:07:50.599 --> 01:07:51.519 or has that already happened? 1518 01:07:51.599 --> 01:07:52.519 That's already happened. 1519 01:07:52.599 --> 01:07:55.000 By the way, it's not just Halle. There's other gay 1520 01:07:55.039 --> 01:07:58.519 representation in this film, which I thought might be Martin 1521 01:07:58.519 --> 01:08:00.559 at first. It turns out it's not Mark, which is 1522 01:08:00.639 --> 01:08:01.280 I'm flying. 1523 01:08:01.199 --> 01:08:02.639 It's saying that it's not Martin. 1524 01:08:02.679 --> 01:08:04.800 But yes, I'm fine with it not being Martin because 1525 01:08:04.800 --> 01:08:06.440 I do love the way that turns out. But we 1526 01:08:06.519 --> 01:08:09.400 do have more gay representation in this film because an 1527 01:08:09.559 --> 01:08:14.599 absolute gay icon is meredith assistant. He's the flatsam and 1528 01:08:14.679 --> 01:08:17.520 jetsam to merediths ursula he is here for it. 1529 01:08:18.800 --> 01:08:21.479 Meredith says she's on a little go kart right, and 1530 01:08:21.840 --> 01:08:24.319 this is right before they go off on their horseback ride. 1531 01:08:24.680 --> 01:08:26.279 She gets back in the golf cart with her gay 1532 01:08:26.279 --> 01:08:28.479 assistant and she says, first change I'm going to make 1533 01:08:28.560 --> 01:08:30.680 is to send that two faced brat off to boarding 1534 01:08:30.720 --> 01:08:35.159 school in Timbuckto and he says, oof Ice woman. 1535 01:08:35.840 --> 01:08:38.960 Love you. I don't know who you are. One you 1536 01:08:39.119 --> 01:08:41.520 one line character who does not even get named in 1537 01:08:41.560 --> 01:08:43.960 this film, but I fucking love you. I see you, 1538 01:08:44.000 --> 01:08:44.560 and I love you. 1539 01:08:44.680 --> 01:08:45.960 His name is definitely Caden. 1540 01:08:46.239 --> 01:08:47.439 His he is definitely Caiden. 1541 01:08:47.560 --> 01:08:49.119 Yeah, kay d e n. 1542 01:08:49.319 --> 01:08:52.760 She met him in a leather bar and where she 1543 01:08:52.920 --> 01:08:55.840 was doing pr work and he was like, you are stunning, 1544 01:08:55.920 --> 01:08:57.880 and she's like, I need an assistant, come with me. 1545 01:08:58.479 --> 01:09:01.199 So Annie fax is a message to London. It's a 1546 01:09:01.199 --> 01:09:03.279 picture of a dog barking nine to one to one, 1547 01:09:03.760 --> 01:09:06.319 and Halle spots it. She rushes out to a phone 1548 01:09:06.359 --> 01:09:09.680 booth to call California. Annie picks up right away and 1549 01:09:09.760 --> 01:09:12.800 tells Halle, look, our father is engaged. 1550 01:09:12.840 --> 01:09:13.479 She's engaged. 1551 01:09:13.520 --> 01:09:16.159 This woman, I need help and Halle finally believes that 1552 01:09:16.199 --> 01:09:18.720 the situation is dire and agrees to tell their mother 1553 01:09:18.800 --> 01:09:20.760 and get the plan for them to meet again. Up, 1554 01:09:20.960 --> 01:09:22.960 up and running. Okay, fine, fine, fine, I won't stop. 1555 01:09:23.000 --> 01:09:25.960 I'll stop stalling. We have to get her back to California. 1556 01:09:26.159 --> 01:09:28.920 So back at the house in London, we're still in London. 1557 01:09:29.279 --> 01:09:32.000 Hallie climbs into bed with Elizabeth and tells you the 1558 01:09:32.000 --> 01:09:35.279 truth about what's going on. Elizabeth has overcome at being 1559 01:09:35.319 --> 01:09:38.600 confronted with the daughter she abandoned, rather than making a 1560 01:09:38.640 --> 01:09:41.239 single compromise in order to keep both her daughters in 1561 01:09:41.239 --> 01:09:45.319 her life again. Though, because Sasha Richardson is a goddamn 1562 01:09:45.359 --> 01:09:49.760 genius or was a goddamn genius, Mama Erica wept wept. 1563 01:09:50.319 --> 01:09:51.960 I didn't weep. I did tear up a little bit. 1564 01:09:52.039 --> 01:09:52.239 Though. 1565 01:09:52.239 --> 01:09:55.119 They almost make it sound like this this decision was 1566 01:09:55.319 --> 01:09:56.399 like the court did it. 1567 01:09:56.800 --> 01:09:58.600 They're like, this was the decision of the court. 1568 01:09:58.640 --> 01:10:01.720 We couldn't do anything about it, Like, yes, you could, 1569 01:10:02.279 --> 01:10:03.520 you have agency. 1570 01:10:04.199 --> 01:10:07.319 It was it was justice King Solomon. He told us 1571 01:10:07.359 --> 01:10:10.439 to switch the swet these girls up. Nothing we could 1572 01:10:10.479 --> 01:10:12.800 do about it. There's a sweet moment here too, where 1573 01:10:12.840 --> 01:10:14.760 Hallie' is like I just really wanted you to like me, 1574 01:10:15.640 --> 01:10:17.520 and like, I just wanted to get to know you again. 1575 01:10:17.600 --> 01:10:20.000 Hallie is given more to do in a way her way, 1576 01:10:20.119 --> 01:10:22.199 Like I know, it's the same actress, but she's given 1577 01:10:22.279 --> 01:10:25.359 more to do when she's playing Hallie. And it's just 1578 01:10:25.359 --> 01:10:27.840 just a sweet scene because Elizabeth's like, I love I've 1579 01:10:27.840 --> 01:10:30.199 loved you since the day you were born. Not enough 1580 01:10:30.239 --> 01:10:33.079 to keep you, but I've loved you since the day 1581 01:10:33.119 --> 01:10:33.640 you were born. 1582 01:10:34.079 --> 01:10:36.239 It's so much easier to love someone when they're far away, 1583 01:10:36.279 --> 01:10:37.760 you know what I mean? Yeah, Oh my god, yeah, 1584 01:10:37.880 --> 01:10:38.920 particularly children. 1585 01:10:39.159 --> 01:10:41.840 Oh absolutely, you know I love I love both these girls, 1586 01:10:41.920 --> 01:10:45.000 but I've never met them, never met them. Elizabeth then 1587 01:10:45.000 --> 01:10:48.439 explains the divorce settlement. I got to keep Anny, your 1588 01:10:48.479 --> 01:10:50.520 father got to keep you, and we agreed to never 1589 01:10:50.600 --> 01:10:52.920 see each other ever, ever again, because we can't be 1590 01:10:52.960 --> 01:10:56.840 in the same room together. Right, Apparently these two are 1591 01:10:57.199 --> 01:11:01.319 so opposed to each other, they hate each other so much, 1592 01:11:01.399 --> 01:11:04.239 so toxic, that they simply cannot be in the same 1593 01:11:04.359 --> 01:11:08.479 room together. The movie will not bear that at all. Literally, 1594 01:11:08.479 --> 01:11:11.159 what happens is is she's too attracted to Nick. She 1595 01:11:11.199 --> 01:11:13.640 can't keep hers straight, Like her mind is all a 1596 01:11:13.680 --> 01:11:15.359 flutter whenever she's around him. 1597 01:11:15.439 --> 01:11:16.399 She gets stigmatized. 1598 01:11:16.560 --> 01:11:20.079 Yeah, she gets digmatized by Nick and like they both 1599 01:11:20.159 --> 01:11:23.279 quote unquote have tempers, which again the movie has not shown, 1600 01:11:23.600 --> 01:11:26.359 oh once that either of these people have any kind 1601 01:11:26.399 --> 01:11:26.840 of temper. 1602 01:11:27.119 --> 01:11:28.960 Yeah, She calmly. 1603 01:11:28.520 --> 01:11:31.920 Agrees to fly back to NAPA, speak with Nick, figure 1604 01:11:31.960 --> 01:11:33.800 this all out, figure out a way. The two girls 1605 01:11:33.800 --> 01:11:36.760 and spitting each other's lives, She's like, don't worry, we 1606 01:11:36.840 --> 01:11:41.560 will fix this. Smash cut to Elizabeth smoking, freaking out 1607 01:11:41.960 --> 01:11:44.920 in her in her giant bedroom and through her walking closet, 1608 01:11:45.239 --> 01:11:47.319 asking Martin to come on the trip with them. She's like, 1609 01:11:47.359 --> 01:11:49.359 not as a butler, just as a friend, as an 1610 01:11:49.399 --> 01:11:52.880 emotional support butler, if you will, because I don't know 1611 01:11:52.880 --> 01:11:55.199 what to do here. I haven't seen that man in 1612 01:11:55.439 --> 01:12:00.000 eleven years and nine months and I'm freaking out. How 1613 01:12:00.359 --> 01:12:02.640 enters and tells her that Nick has been filled in 1614 01:12:02.680 --> 01:12:05.600 on what's going on and is so excited to see her. 1615 01:12:05.640 --> 01:12:07.960 She's like, really, he's excited to see me, even though 1616 01:12:07.960 --> 01:12:10.560 I've gotten older and he's probably fucking a twenty six 1617 01:12:10.600 --> 01:12:12.199 year old, you know what. Let's not talk about that. 1618 01:12:12.520 --> 01:12:15.000 So they agree they're all going to meet or Hallie 1619 01:12:15.039 --> 01:12:17.039 tells them that they've agreed to all meet the next 1620 01:12:17.119 --> 01:12:19.479 day at noon in San Francisco at a hotel. 1621 01:12:19.920 --> 01:12:22.840 Yep, we cut to the Stafford Hotel in San Francisco. 1622 01:12:23.239 --> 01:12:26.079 Meredith is excited to introduce her parents to Nick. Both 1623 01:12:26.119 --> 01:12:28.159 of her parents, by the way, are thrilled that she's 1624 01:12:28.239 --> 01:12:31.079 landed a rich old man like but her mother and 1625 01:12:31.119 --> 01:12:35.000 father clearly taught her you hook, you hook a big one, 1626 01:12:35.159 --> 01:12:36.000 and you stick with it. 1627 01:12:36.239 --> 01:12:39.359 Yeah, she comes from a long line of gold diggers. 1628 01:12:39.560 --> 01:12:43.000 Yeah, this is the family business. She's less excited when 1629 01:12:43.039 --> 01:12:46.079 Nick appears with Annie, Chessie and Sammy, all of whom 1630 01:12:46.560 --> 01:12:51.000 universally despised Meredith. And just the idea that a hotel 1631 01:12:51.000 --> 01:12:52.760 would allow a dog just come in and this is 1632 01:12:52.800 --> 01:12:54.600 a carpeted hotel, by the way, this is like a 1633 01:12:54.960 --> 01:12:57.720 this is a high class hotel that a dog of 1634 01:12:57.800 --> 01:13:00.439 not even a guest could come in and just wander 1635 01:13:00.479 --> 01:13:02.840 about insane. 1636 01:13:03.359 --> 01:13:04.560 So, after a brief. 1637 01:13:04.319 --> 01:13:06.960 Tour of the hotel as a potential wedding venue, Meredith 1638 01:13:07.000 --> 01:13:09.279 dismisses her parents for a few hours. They says, when 1639 01:13:09.359 --> 01:13:11.399 you go to the pool, and she said, suggests to 1640 01:13:11.479 --> 01:13:13.439 Nick that they go check out the Honeymoon Sweet in 1641 01:13:13.479 --> 01:13:15.479 this way that sounds like they're gonna fuck in the 1642 01:13:15.479 --> 01:13:16.720 honeymoon swee, which don't do that. 1643 01:13:17.520 --> 01:13:18.039 Don't do that. 1644 01:13:18.159 --> 01:13:20.239 Well, what's weird is like, do you have the honeymoon 1645 01:13:20.239 --> 01:13:23.079 sweet or is it a couple currently in there right now? 1646 01:13:23.720 --> 01:13:25.880 That's not how things work, Nancy Meyers. No. 1647 01:13:26.840 --> 01:13:30.960 Meanwhile, the British contingent arrives at the Stafford, but Elizabeth 1648 01:13:30.960 --> 01:13:32.800 has decided to hit the sauce in the flight and 1649 01:13:32.920 --> 01:13:36.680 is completely schnockered. She is making good decision after good decision. 1650 01:13:36.760 --> 01:13:38.640 She cannot stop making the good decisions. 1651 01:13:38.680 --> 01:13:40.960 How much do you have to drink on a twelve 1652 01:13:40.960 --> 01:13:42.520 hour flight to get that drunk? 1653 01:13:42.840 --> 01:13:44.640 A lot? Which I will say. 1654 01:13:44.640 --> 01:13:46.640 You know, what I will say about the film is 1655 01:13:46.680 --> 01:13:49.720 that Natasha Richardson gets to have a lot more fun 1656 01:13:50.119 --> 01:13:54.560 than Dennis Quaid. She gets to act a clown. So, 1657 01:13:54.760 --> 01:13:58.079 as Nick and Meredith neck in the elevator, he sees Elizabeth, 1658 01:13:58.119 --> 01:14:01.600 who smiles and waves. He shocked, and Elizabeth, who we 1659 01:14:01.640 --> 01:14:04.600 must remember thinks he's expecting her, is quite confused at 1660 01:14:04.600 --> 01:14:07.520 his reaction. So she heads upstairs and she gets both 1661 01:14:07.560 --> 01:14:09.760 of her daughters in one room, and she is none 1662 01:14:09.800 --> 01:14:12.319 too happy when she figures out that Nick had absolutely 1663 01:14:12.399 --> 01:14:15.560 no idea that she was coming. She is even less 1664 01:14:15.560 --> 01:14:18.520 happy when she realizes that both Chessi and Martin were 1665 01:14:18.600 --> 01:14:20.960 fully aware that Nick had no idea she was coming, 1666 01:14:21.039 --> 01:14:24.079 and were fully in on this entire plan. That's not 1667 01:14:24.159 --> 01:14:26.359 the important part of the scene. The important part of. 1668 01:14:26.279 --> 01:14:28.079 The scene, the best part of the scene, Paul. 1669 01:14:28.199 --> 01:14:31.000 The important part of the scene is that Martin walks out. 1670 01:14:31.159 --> 01:14:33.840 He does one of those doo like he's so excited 1671 01:14:33.840 --> 01:14:34.840 he's on vacation re member. 1672 01:14:34.880 --> 01:14:35.079 He's not. 1673 01:14:35.079 --> 01:14:37.720 There's a butler's there's a friend in a speedo. And 1674 01:14:37.760 --> 01:14:39.960 when I tell you, I did not expect Simon Kohons 1675 01:14:39.960 --> 01:14:41.239 to look as good an a Speito as. 1676 01:14:41.159 --> 01:14:44.319 He looks Ospeito's so tight it's almost inappropriate for a 1677 01:14:44.399 --> 01:14:45.159 children's movie. 1678 01:14:45.199 --> 01:14:46.960 You shouldn't be walking around in front of girls in 1679 01:14:46.960 --> 01:14:50.039 that outfit. Like, but he's European. They have different states European. 1680 01:14:50.119 --> 01:14:52.560 And also I did notice the movie has him like 1681 01:14:52.600 --> 01:14:55.159 put a towel in front of his junk, so that 1682 01:14:55.279 --> 01:14:57.960 like it's not like so awkward that he's like in 1683 01:14:58.000 --> 01:15:00.279 a room with an eleven year old. Yeah, by the way, 1684 01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:02.720 he's in a butler's uniform all the way up until 1685 01:15:02.720 --> 01:15:05.279 the moment when she's like, you're coming as our friend, 1686 01:15:05.319 --> 01:15:07.479 you are not our butler on this trip. And then 1687 01:15:07.520 --> 01:15:10.680 he wears what I presume is his normal everyday clothes, 1688 01:15:11.159 --> 01:15:14.520 which is top to bottom black with a black leather jacket. 1689 01:15:15.600 --> 01:15:17.199 I love everything about this man. 1690 01:15:18.520 --> 01:15:21.119 He's a fan of the clash on his normal days, 1691 01:15:21.119 --> 01:15:22.840 but he's a high end butler. 1692 01:15:23.560 --> 01:15:25.199 I feels like one of those guys who's like on 1693 01:15:25.239 --> 01:15:28.199 the weekends, rides a bike, like rides a motorcycle through 1694 01:15:28.199 --> 01:15:29.000 the countryside. 1695 01:15:30.439 --> 01:15:31.399 He's a lothario. 1696 01:15:31.640 --> 01:15:34.039 You know, by the way, we have seen this actor before. 1697 01:15:34.319 --> 01:15:35.680 Do you recognize him? No? 1698 01:15:35.920 --> 01:15:37.560 Actually it is a small. 1699 01:15:37.439 --> 01:15:41.720 But crucial role in Four Weddings in a funeral. He 1700 01:15:41.840 --> 01:15:44.479 is the man who Hugh Grant accidentally tells that his 1701 01:15:44.560 --> 01:15:46.239 wife has been cheating on him for years. 1702 01:15:46.800 --> 01:15:53.159 Oh right, all right, So Martin bops out in his speedo. 1703 01:15:53.279 --> 01:15:56.279 He runs right into Chessie. The attraction is immediate. The 1704 01:15:56.279 --> 01:15:59.520 two servants must also get together, and he tells Elizabeth 1705 01:15:59.520 --> 01:16:02.439 the truth. Nick is engaged and they brought her here 1706 01:16:02.479 --> 01:16:04.880 to stop the wedding and to get their parents back together. 1707 01:16:04.960 --> 01:16:07.399 And Elizabeth says, look, I'm here for one thing, and 1708 01:16:07.439 --> 01:16:09.760 one thing only. We are swapping the two of you 1709 01:16:09.880 --> 01:16:13.600 back to your proper homes. We're gonna see about maybe 1710 01:16:13.640 --> 01:16:15.279 trying to get let you see each other a couple 1711 01:16:15.359 --> 01:16:16.359 times throughout the year. 1712 01:16:16.760 --> 01:16:20.680 That's it heartbreaking. Yeah, honestly, the fact that this movie 1713 01:16:20.680 --> 01:16:23.239 does not include a prolonged scene of these two girls 1714 01:16:23.279 --> 01:16:26.720 crying and begging her parents to keep them together is 1715 01:16:26.760 --> 01:16:30.880 shocking because it would not be undeserved. We cut to 1716 01:16:31.000 --> 01:16:33.560 Nick heading downstairs to look for Elizabeth because he saw 1717 01:16:33.560 --> 01:16:35.079 her in the elevator and he's like, wait, was that 1718 01:16:35.760 --> 01:16:38.800 my ex wife down there? He runs into both of 1719 01:16:38.840 --> 01:16:42.439 his daughters separately, who both pretend to be Hallie when 1720 01:16:42.439 --> 01:16:44.239 they see him or well, one is Halle. One is 1721 01:16:44.279 --> 01:16:46.880 pretending to be Halle. The wind is so flustered he 1722 01:16:46.920 --> 01:16:49.600 does not even notice that they are wearing totally different outfits. 1723 01:16:50.359 --> 01:16:53.239 Both girls are wearing yellow, but that's it, but they're 1724 01:16:53.239 --> 01:16:55.279 wearing like ones in a skirt, ones in pants like 1725 01:16:55.319 --> 01:16:58.039 it's a whole other, one has a jacket. One doesn't 1726 01:16:58.439 --> 01:17:01.680 real Halle meets me Meredith for the first time. Meredith 1727 01:17:01.720 --> 01:17:04.039 sees Hallie and in the in the lobby. Halle has 1728 01:17:04.079 --> 01:17:06.439 never met her before. She goes, where's your father? And 1729 01:17:06.560 --> 01:17:09.319 she's such a cunt to her, like right away that 1730 01:17:09.880 --> 01:17:20.239 that helly? Like is this smile on her face and goes, oh, Meredith, excellent, everything, 1731 01:17:20.560 --> 01:17:23.359 this is excellent. Meredith heads to the bar and sits 1732 01:17:23.399 --> 01:17:26.239 down where Elizabeth, who is still drunk from the flight, 1733 01:17:26.680 --> 01:17:29.960 is desperate for a hangover cure. The bartender hands are 1734 01:17:30.079 --> 01:17:34.920 this like nasty, like rouse, like gray, honestly like oh, 1735 01:17:35.159 --> 01:17:38.640 Elizabeth like cheers to Meredith. Not knowing who the woman is, 1736 01:17:38.680 --> 01:17:40.079 she's just sitting next to her at the bar and 1737 01:17:40.119 --> 01:17:41.640 she's like, here's to you. I hope your life is 1738 01:17:41.720 --> 01:17:45.479 less complicated than mine, and she starts to drink. Meredith 1739 01:17:45.560 --> 01:17:48.000 sees the name on the check. She goes, are you 1740 01:17:48.239 --> 01:17:52.039 ze Elizabeth James, famed wedding dress designer. I saw your 1741 01:17:52.079 --> 01:17:54.399 one of your last dresses in Vogue and it was 1742 01:17:54.439 --> 01:17:57.399 so beautiful. This is kismet. I'm getting married in two 1743 01:17:57.399 --> 01:17:59.399 weeks and I need a dress. None of this is 1744 01:17:59.439 --> 01:18:02.600 how anything. And frankly, this is one area where I 1745 01:18:02.640 --> 01:18:04.159 expect Nancy Myers to know better. 1746 01:18:04.479 --> 01:18:06.560 That's fair weddings and kitchens. 1747 01:18:06.880 --> 01:18:10.479 Nancy Myers is the kind of woman who knows how 1748 01:18:10.560 --> 01:18:15.279 long a bespoke wedding dress takes to make, and Elizabeth 1749 01:18:15.319 --> 01:18:17.439 actually agrees to it because she's still so drunk. 1750 01:18:17.479 --> 01:18:19.439 I guess she is like, Oh my god, stop squawking 1751 01:18:19.479 --> 01:18:20.880 at me, Why are you so loud? 1752 01:18:20.920 --> 01:18:23.800 I'll make you a dress. It's fine, it's fine. Meanwhile, 1753 01:18:24.159 --> 01:18:27.359 Nick continues to search for Elizabeth around the pool, and 1754 01:18:27.520 --> 01:18:31.560 all of our characters converge until he sees Elizabeth across 1755 01:18:31.600 --> 01:18:33.439 the way. She's walking on the other side of the pool. 1756 01:18:33.640 --> 01:18:36.359 Elizabeth cleans up extremely well. For a woman who is. 1757 01:18:36.359 --> 01:18:37.560 That hangover youre worked. 1758 01:18:37.880 --> 01:18:40.760 Yeah, for a woman who is dressed in all white 1759 01:18:40.880 --> 01:18:44.640 and in like a very wrinklable outfit who just got 1760 01:18:44.680 --> 01:18:49.479 off a twelve hour flight and is canonically drunk and 1761 01:18:49.600 --> 01:18:52.640 or hungover, she looks incredible. He sees her across the way, 1762 01:18:52.800 --> 01:18:55.920 he gets flustered. He ends up falling after a series 1763 01:18:55.920 --> 01:18:59.000 of mishaps, ends up falling into the pool. He emerges 1764 01:18:59.039 --> 01:19:01.279 in front of her, sopping wet, and the twins appear 1765 01:19:01.359 --> 01:19:04.039 and finally clue their dumbass father and as to what's 1766 01:19:04.039 --> 01:19:07.840 going on. What if she like somehow, through some way, 1767 01:19:07.960 --> 01:19:11.319 Elizabeth gave birth to two girls. Nick wasn't there when 1768 01:19:11.399 --> 01:19:13.960 the girls were being born. She's furious at him for that. 1769 01:19:14.760 --> 01:19:18.119 No one tells him he has twins. Oh leaves one 1770 01:19:18.199 --> 01:19:22.159 girl with him. He thinks there's only one daughter, and 1771 01:19:22.239 --> 01:19:25.119 then at this moment realizes that the whole time there's 1772 01:19:25.159 --> 01:19:25.720 been two. 1773 01:19:26.159 --> 01:19:26.680 That's good. 1774 01:19:27.039 --> 01:19:29.600 That's another good villain story. We can we can, we 1775 01:19:29.640 --> 01:19:32.439 can cook up later. So both the girls make a 1776 01:19:32.479 --> 01:19:35.640 plea that they need both of their parents. I need 1777 01:19:35.680 --> 01:19:37.399 a dad so I know how to how to behave 1778 01:19:37.479 --> 01:19:40.119 around men because Martin's not gonna cut it. I need 1779 01:19:40.159 --> 01:19:43.560 a mom to teach me how to do things because 1780 01:19:43.600 --> 01:19:47.199 fucking Meredith hates me, and Nick and Elizabeth tell them, okay, 1781 01:19:47.359 --> 01:19:49.600 adults need to talk. What don't you two girls leave 1782 01:19:49.680 --> 01:19:50.760 us alone for a few minutes. 1783 01:19:51.039 --> 01:19:53.960 Adults quo Martin fucking quotation. 1784 01:19:54.079 --> 01:19:56.439 And meanwhile, Hallie's like, let me go do your taxes 1785 01:19:56.479 --> 01:19:58.000 because I don't think you neither of you know what 1786 01:19:58.000 --> 01:20:01.239 you're doing. Uh. Meredith I appears at the pool and 1787 01:20:01.239 --> 01:20:03.960 she's like, hey, you've met our wedding dress designer. And 1788 01:20:04.000 --> 01:20:06.960 of course everyone is clued in, clues Meredith in to 1789 01:20:07.039 --> 01:20:10.760 what's going on, and she freaks out. She's like, I 1790 01:20:10.840 --> 01:20:13.720 don't like this at all. I don't like your ex 1791 01:20:13.720 --> 01:20:15.479 wife is in your life. And now it's not just 1792 01:20:15.560 --> 01:20:18.840 one hateful child, it's two. And the twins take the 1793 01:20:18.840 --> 01:20:22.720 opportunity to startle their potential evil step monster by being like, 1794 01:20:23.119 --> 01:20:25.359 you get to have both of us now. 1795 01:20:27.920 --> 01:20:31.159 That night, the twins, with the help of their grandfather's 1796 01:20:31.199 --> 01:20:34.239 credit card, I suppose, charter a ship and make their 1797 01:20:34.239 --> 01:20:37.079 best attempt to recreate the night their parents were married, 1798 01:20:37.479 --> 01:20:41.359 with Simon and Chessie serving them dinner on a romantic 1799 01:20:41.600 --> 01:20:44.640 on a romantic cruise. While Elizabeth and Nick are charmed 1800 01:20:44.920 --> 01:20:47.199 and happy for the other one that their career dreams 1801 01:20:47.239 --> 01:20:51.720 came true, it's loosely implied that it was their careers 1802 01:20:51.720 --> 01:20:53.680 that got in the way, but it's really never defined. 1803 01:20:53.960 --> 01:20:56.560 They can't come to a solution for their problem. Right 1804 01:20:56.640 --> 01:20:59.119 after all, they had this arrangement because they both never 1805 01:20:59.159 --> 01:21:02.720 wanted to see each other again, and Nick references the 1806 01:21:02.800 --> 01:21:05.680 day Elizabeth packed where she apparently threw a hair dryer 1807 01:21:05.720 --> 01:21:08.960 at his head. Okay, I just wrote down these lines. 1808 01:21:09.039 --> 01:21:11.359 These are the lines, right. He asked her why she left, 1809 01:21:11.760 --> 01:21:14.680 because he says, maybe we could talk about what happened 1810 01:21:14.680 --> 01:21:17.439 between us sometime it's all kind of hazy. Now, it 1811 01:21:17.520 --> 01:21:19.960 happened so fast. It's probably hazy because the concussion he 1812 01:21:19.960 --> 01:21:21.880 got from the hair dryer, but that's beside the point. 1813 01:21:22.279 --> 01:21:26.800 And then she just says it started so fast. What happened. 1814 01:21:27.159 --> 01:21:29.680 I mean, it's clear they got pregnant immediately. 1815 01:21:30.279 --> 01:21:32.960 Yeah, so fast that she just stated two babies in 1816 01:21:32.960 --> 01:21:36.039 the space of like two weeks. So she says they 1817 01:21:36.039 --> 01:21:39.039 were both young and said stupid things. She packed and 1818 01:21:39.079 --> 01:21:41.079 got on a plane and he didn't come after her, 1819 01:21:41.399 --> 01:21:43.520 and he says he didn't know she wanted him to. 1820 01:21:43.840 --> 01:21:44.319 I hate this. 1821 01:21:44.600 --> 01:21:45.119 I hate this. 1822 01:21:45.279 --> 01:21:47.079 I hate this. I'm leaving and I want you to 1823 01:21:47.119 --> 01:21:48.840 follow me. I hate that. 1824 01:21:49.159 --> 01:21:50.760 It doesn't have to make I don't need it to 1825 01:21:50.760 --> 01:21:53.800 make sense. I just needed to not be so cringey 1826 01:21:53.840 --> 01:21:55.520 that I want to murder both of you, that I 1827 01:21:55.560 --> 01:21:57.840 want these two girls to sink this ship with their 1828 01:21:57.880 --> 01:22:00.920 parents on them and like run away with Martin and 1829 01:22:00.960 --> 01:22:04.960 Chessie and just live happily ever after with their parents, 1830 01:22:05.000 --> 01:22:06.600 with their real parents, with their. 1831 01:22:06.439 --> 01:22:09.039 Real parents who have actually helped them through their childhoods. 1832 01:22:09.359 --> 01:22:11.439 So the two decided time just get the show on 1833 01:22:11.479 --> 01:22:13.880 the road head home with their respective twin and allow 1834 01:22:13.920 --> 01:22:16.000 the girls to spend some holidays together. You know, we'll 1835 01:22:16.000 --> 01:22:18.479 spend Easter and Christmas will alternate sea. 1836 01:22:18.600 --> 01:22:21.880 That is so cruel. I know you have a twin 1837 01:22:22.000 --> 01:22:25.239 sister that you now adore, and you've met your other 1838 01:22:25.359 --> 01:22:28.199 parent who you've never met before. And for Hallie, this 1839 01:22:28.279 --> 01:22:31.680 is a big fucking deal. Annie seems less into Nick. 1840 01:22:31.720 --> 01:22:32.279 If I'm being on. 1841 01:22:32.359 --> 01:22:35.680 There, Well, she's she met Nick when he was under 1842 01:22:35.720 --> 01:22:38.319 the sway of Meredith. So your opinion of the person 1843 01:22:38.359 --> 01:22:41.039 is like, you're dating this person's the. 1844 01:22:40.960 --> 01:22:44.199 Best version of Nick alagery. But I feel like Annie 1845 01:22:44.199 --> 01:22:46.720 could take, take or leave Nick. Annie. He's like, you 1846 01:22:46.760 --> 01:22:49.000 know what I find you wanting. Martin is a better 1847 01:22:49.079 --> 01:22:49.600 dad than. 1848 01:22:49.479 --> 01:22:51.720 You are one hundred percent. 1849 01:22:51.760 --> 01:22:54.560 Meanwhile, to rip Halle away from Elizabeth at this point 1850 01:22:54.640 --> 01:22:57.680 is just fucking cruel. And they're like, yeah, you'll see 1851 01:22:57.680 --> 01:23:00.000 each other every six months, don't worry about it. 1852 01:23:00.279 --> 01:23:00.600 Yeah. 1853 01:23:00.640 --> 01:23:03.239 So the twins, because they're not assholes like their parents, 1854 01:23:03.239 --> 01:23:06.239 are like, no, we're not having it and we are 1855 01:23:06.319 --> 01:23:07.880 not going to let you know which one of us 1856 01:23:07.920 --> 01:23:10.359 is which until you figure out a better solution than 1857 01:23:10.359 --> 01:23:12.680 this nonsense. So they refuse to be clear as to 1858 01:23:12.680 --> 01:23:15.600 who is who. Nick looks them both dead in the 1859 01:23:15.640 --> 01:23:17.880 eyes and it's like that one is, halle, I'm sure 1860 01:23:17.920 --> 01:23:20.600 of it, And then the other one's like, are you 1861 01:23:20.920 --> 01:23:24.560 And they're like no. Neither neither of them has ever 1862 01:23:24.600 --> 01:23:26.680 broken a bone or had a scar, which I find 1863 01:23:26.760 --> 01:23:30.159 harry give given their propensity for violence, both these kids. 1864 01:23:31.479 --> 01:23:34.359 So they're like, go back to the drawing board, figure 1865 01:23:34.399 --> 01:23:37.239 it out, parents, And in the meantime, the four of 1866 01:23:37.319 --> 01:23:39.640 us are going to go together on this annual camping 1867 01:23:39.720 --> 01:23:42.520 trip that Nick and Hallie go on every year before 1868 01:23:42.560 --> 01:23:45.880 school starts. As Paul writes here, and I think he's correct, 1869 01:23:46.159 --> 01:23:49.439 as is de Raguur in this film, the children completely 1870 01:23:49.520 --> 01:23:53.880 outmatch their idiot parents and get their way. Also, again, 1871 01:23:53.960 --> 01:23:56.920 these like, I'm one thousand percent on the girl's side, 1872 01:23:56.960 --> 01:24:00.359 but they really really could use a little bit of discipline. 1873 01:24:00.720 --> 01:24:03.159 Neither of these kids has ever been yelled at a 1874 01:24:03.279 --> 01:24:04.199 day in their life, and. 1875 01:24:04.159 --> 01:24:05.640 It shows agreed. 1876 01:24:06.000 --> 01:24:07.960 This is why I think Meredith isn't maybe the worst 1877 01:24:07.960 --> 01:24:08.399 thing that's. 1878 01:24:08.279 --> 01:24:10.880 Ever happened with the at least they put at least 1879 01:24:10.880 --> 01:24:14.079 she'll put a scare into them. She'll they'll understand that 1880 01:24:14.079 --> 01:24:15.439 there may be opponents in life. 1881 01:24:15.479 --> 01:24:17.640 She'll show them what a consequence looks like. 1882 01:24:17.760 --> 01:24:21.119 We're shaping little Rory Gilmore's right now. This is what's happening. 1883 01:24:21.720 --> 01:24:24.239 So we cut to NAPA and Meredith is none too 1884 01:24:24.279 --> 01:24:26.720 pleased about this plan, and that's before she even learns 1885 01:24:26.720 --> 01:24:30.640 that Elizabeth is also going. So Elizabeth appears and she says, 1886 01:24:30.680 --> 01:24:33.640 you know what, Meredith should come as well. Of course 1887 01:24:33.640 --> 01:24:35.560 you're upset. I want you to understand that I have 1888 01:24:35.600 --> 01:24:38.279 no designs on your fiance. You come on this trip. 1889 01:24:38.640 --> 01:24:41.560 Then when it's time to leave, Elizabeth just bows out 1890 01:24:41.720 --> 01:24:44.560 and sends Meredith off camping with Nick and the two girls. 1891 01:24:44.560 --> 01:24:46.520 And Meredith's like, well, if you're not going, I don't 1892 01:24:46.520 --> 01:24:48.560 have to go. It's far too late to save her 1893 01:24:48.600 --> 01:24:51.600 from going on this hell after all, as Elizabeth points out, 1894 01:24:51.720 --> 01:24:55.000 it's a perfect opportunity to bond with her future stepdaughters. 1895 01:24:55.319 --> 01:24:58.640 Elizabeth is really like, now we know where Annie and 1896 01:24:58.680 --> 01:25:01.199 Howie get it from. Because Nick, he is truly stupid, 1897 01:25:01.239 --> 01:25:05.039 because he's so dumb. Jill doesn't figure out he is. 1898 01:25:05.199 --> 01:25:07.600 I don't think he gets what Elizabeth is doing here. 1899 01:25:07.640 --> 01:25:10.199 He absolutely doesn't. What an idiot if he got it 1900 01:25:10.279 --> 01:25:12.079 he would already have broken up with Meredith. 1901 01:25:12.439 --> 01:25:15.119 So the twins are extremely put out at this change 1902 01:25:15.119 --> 01:25:17.760 of plans, and they set out to torture Meredith as 1903 01:25:17.840 --> 01:25:20.880 much as possible. While they're hiking. They load up her 1904 01:25:20.880 --> 01:25:24.720 backpack with rocks. They call her Cruella sort of behind 1905 01:25:24.760 --> 01:25:27.319 her back, but she can hear them, and they put 1906 01:25:27.359 --> 01:25:29.560 a lizard on her water bottle and in her hair. 1907 01:25:29.600 --> 01:25:33.479 The lizard, Paul writes, in an extremely upsetting turn of events, 1908 01:25:33.840 --> 01:25:37.359 winds up halfway in Meredith's mouth. How did they film this? 1909 01:25:37.920 --> 01:25:40.119 It was? It's a CGI lizard? Is it? 1910 01:25:40.119 --> 01:25:44.079 It's it's real some of the time, but that's CGI, Okay. 1911 01:25:44.199 --> 01:25:47.359 I was curious because it gets on our heads, on 1912 01:25:47.479 --> 01:25:50.840 Elizabeth Hendrick, Elizabeth no Elesa Drigs's head, and then it 1913 01:25:50.920 --> 01:25:52.800 runs down her face and into her mouth and then 1914 01:25:52.840 --> 01:25:55.279 she kind of sucks it in by accident while she's screaming, 1915 01:25:55.680 --> 01:25:57.439 and it looks so real. 1916 01:25:57.640 --> 01:25:59.800 I recoiled from this. 1917 01:26:00.359 --> 01:26:02.439 Is that real? Is that? Like? How did they train 1918 01:26:02.520 --> 01:26:03.439 this lizard to do that? 1919 01:26:03.840 --> 01:26:06.560 How much did they pay Elaine Hendrix to do that? 1920 01:26:07.439 --> 01:26:10.079 I hope it was four billion dollars. 1921 01:26:12.359 --> 01:26:15.800 At the campsite that night, Meredith is complaining about the food. 1922 01:26:15.880 --> 01:26:18.279 All there is to eat is trout. The girls give 1923 01:26:18.319 --> 01:26:21.199 her something to like use his mosquito repellent. Being a 1924 01:26:21.239 --> 01:26:23.640 fucking idiot, she takes it and starts using it, even 1925 01:26:23.680 --> 01:26:25.359 though she knows these kids are out to get her, 1926 01:26:25.880 --> 01:26:28.680 and it turns out it's sugar water, which draws all 1927 01:26:28.720 --> 01:26:31.920 the mosquitos right to her. She's like, fine, I'm going 1928 01:26:31.960 --> 01:26:34.439 to take the world's largest sleeping pill and forget this 1929 01:26:34.520 --> 01:26:37.039 day ever happened. She turns to Nick and she gives 1930 01:26:37.119 --> 01:26:40.600 him a long, pointed kiss before heading off to sleep. 1931 01:26:40.760 --> 01:26:42.479 Nick doesn't act weirded out enough. 1932 01:26:42.319 --> 01:26:43.840 By this, No, he's not at all. 1933 01:26:43.880 --> 01:26:45.079 He's like, you know, what I really want to do 1934 01:26:45.279 --> 01:26:47.079 is make out in front of my two twin daughters, 1935 01:26:47.079 --> 01:26:48.760 one of them I met yesterday. 1936 01:26:48.520 --> 01:26:50.399 And he keeps telling them to be nice. 1937 01:26:50.680 --> 01:26:53.119 He's the worst. He does not know how to like. 1938 01:26:53.479 --> 01:26:57.880 He sees what they're doing, and at best he's like, guys, 1939 01:26:58.079 --> 01:27:00.439 he rolls his eyes at them. Yeah, but most of 1940 01:27:00.439 --> 01:27:03.279 the time he kind of smiles behind Meredith's back and 1941 01:27:03.319 --> 01:27:06.359 he's like, that was fucking funny, you guys, well done, 1942 01:27:06.640 --> 01:27:09.720 well done to the woman I'm supposed to love. He 1943 01:27:09.920 --> 01:27:12.640 really sucks. Now that I'm saying it out loud, he 1944 01:27:12.760 --> 01:27:16.039 might suck more than Elizabeth. There's a real race to 1945 01:27:16.079 --> 01:27:16.560 the bottom with. 1946 01:27:16.560 --> 01:27:18.960 These sprint to the basement. 1947 01:27:19.279 --> 01:27:22.239 So as Meredith goes to sleep, of course, she's knocked 1948 01:27:22.239 --> 01:27:24.479 out from her giant sleeping pill. She does not hear 1949 01:27:24.640 --> 01:27:28.880 or see the twins as they unzip the tent. They 1950 01:27:29.079 --> 01:27:32.560 drag Meredith's inflatable mattress out onto the lake and let 1951 01:27:32.560 --> 01:27:37.319 her float off like a Viking funeral. She wakes up 1952 01:27:37.359 --> 01:27:39.760 the next morning in the water. There's a bird like 1953 01:27:39.840 --> 01:27:43.319 land that landed on her chest. She panics, she screams, 1954 01:27:43.600 --> 01:27:46.279 She winds up in the water. Nick comes out of 1955 01:27:46.279 --> 01:27:48.319 his tent and instead of being like, what the fuck 1956 01:27:48.399 --> 01:27:51.279 did you kids do? That is out of line. I 1957 01:27:51.279 --> 01:27:53.359 can't believe you did that. She could have died out 1958 01:27:53.359 --> 01:27:54.840 there in the middle of the night. She could have 1959 01:27:54.920 --> 01:27:58.039 rolled over in her sleep, still like drugged out from 1960 01:27:58.079 --> 01:28:01.079 her pill, died in the lake. And then it's on us. 1961 01:28:01.199 --> 01:28:03.319 What no, no, no, he doesn't do any of that alcohol. 1962 01:28:03.800 --> 01:28:08.279 He looks at them and he goes, girls, you guys, 1963 01:28:08.880 --> 01:28:10.039 you guys. 1964 01:28:09.720 --> 01:28:14.439 Come on, come on, guys, be nice. Just like they 1965 01:28:14.479 --> 01:28:16.800 said in Roadhouse, be nice. 1966 01:28:17.119 --> 01:28:20.239 Not nice, you kids. Come on, Come on, we could 1967 01:28:20.279 --> 01:28:22.399 have had a Friday the thirteenth happening here. We could 1968 01:28:22.399 --> 01:28:24.239 have had that woman die in the lake and then 1969 01:28:24.319 --> 01:28:27.359 murder people for generations to come. This could have been 1970 01:28:27.399 --> 01:28:31.199 Camp Crystal Lake. She luckily did none of that happens. 1971 01:28:31.239 --> 01:28:34.920 She doesn't die. She's like swims the shore. She like 1972 01:28:35.119 --> 01:28:39.520 trudges up to Nick, and she's like, it's them or me. 1973 01:28:40.199 --> 01:28:42.520 I'm not dealing with this shit. Either we get married 1974 01:28:42.560 --> 01:28:45.880 and ship them off the fucking Switzerland, or we're not 1975 01:28:45.920 --> 01:28:49.079 getting married, And without missing a beat, he smiles at 1976 01:28:49.079 --> 01:28:51.159 her in a real shit eating grin frankly for what 1977 01:28:51.279 --> 01:28:54.640 is just transpired, and goes them, I pick them, obviously, 1978 01:28:54.760 --> 01:28:56.439 they're my children. I pick them. 1979 01:28:56.640 --> 01:28:58.039 We cut back to Napa. 1980 01:28:58.439 --> 01:29:01.199 The girls report to their mother they've been punished, even 1981 01:29:01.239 --> 01:29:04.079 though Nick doesn't seem to be even remotely disappointed about 1982 01:29:04.079 --> 01:29:05.119 the end of his engagement. 1983 01:29:05.439 --> 01:29:07.520 I'm surprised they knew how to how to pronounce the 1984 01:29:07.560 --> 01:29:10.319 word punished. They were like, we were what's the word punch? 1985 01:29:10.520 --> 01:29:13.399 We were? We were granded, grnded. 1986 01:29:13.920 --> 01:29:22.479 The con consequences. Conquences are conquences for our actions. We'd 1987 01:29:22.520 --> 01:29:24.399 never heard that word. So we we don't know. We 1988 01:29:24.399 --> 01:29:25.760 don't know anything about this. 1989 01:29:25.760 --> 01:29:28.079 This might be what the Isolation Cabin was trying to 1990 01:29:28.119 --> 01:29:29.880 teach us. But that was awesome, so that couldn't have 1991 01:29:29.880 --> 01:29:34.520 been it. So Nick and Elizabeth have dinner together and 1992 01:29:34.640 --> 01:29:37.760 Nick shows her his private wine collection in the wine cellar, 1993 01:29:38.279 --> 01:29:40.159 and he brings her to the bottle of wine they 1994 01:29:40.199 --> 01:29:42.079 had at their wedding, and he tells her that he 1995 01:29:42.119 --> 01:29:44.600 owns every single bottle of it that exists. 1996 01:29:45.079 --> 01:29:47.000 Can I tell you that's what romantic as? 1997 01:29:47.600 --> 01:29:49.279 Oh, yeah, that's good, that'll work. 1998 01:29:49.399 --> 01:29:51.039 As soon as he said that, I was like, well, 1999 01:29:51.119 --> 01:29:54.039 my pants just came off. Which one of these wine 2000 01:29:54.119 --> 01:29:55.239 racks do you want to do me on? 2001 01:29:57.279 --> 01:30:01.520 Elizabeth is far more restrained that she is from Iland 2002 01:30:01.600 --> 01:30:04.560 after all. She just asks if they can open one, 2003 01:30:04.640 --> 01:30:07.079 and he says she's the only one he would drink 2004 01:30:07.119 --> 01:30:07.399 it with. 2005 01:30:07.479 --> 01:30:08.680 Now, my pants are off. 2006 01:30:08.479 --> 01:30:10.119 To which one of these do you want to bend 2007 01:30:10.119 --> 01:30:14.039 me over them? Let's do this, Nick, let's do this. 2008 01:30:14.359 --> 01:30:17.000 There's some nonsense about how she doesn't have to be 2009 01:30:17.159 --> 01:30:19.840 brave anymore. It doesn't make any sense. But then they 2010 01:30:19.840 --> 01:30:22.840 hear CHESSI arrive and and she breaks the moment, and 2011 01:30:22.880 --> 01:30:24.960 these two do not go to Poundtown, even though it 2012 01:30:25.039 --> 01:30:27.359 is clear that they belong together. The next day, it 2013 01:30:27.439 --> 01:30:31.159 is a down poor Erica. Everybody says they're goodbyes. Elizabeth 2014 01:30:31.199 --> 01:30:34.720 and Annie head back to London. They enter their empty house. 2015 01:30:35.479 --> 01:30:38.399 They're a little sad. They walk into the room where 2016 01:30:38.399 --> 01:30:41.119 they're expecting to find their grandfather behind his paper, and 2017 01:30:41.159 --> 01:30:43.800 someone is there reading the paper and they say hello, 2018 01:30:43.960 --> 01:30:46.359 and the paper comes down and it's not grandfather at all, 2019 01:30:47.039 --> 01:30:50.680 it's Hallie. The concord after all, takes half the time. 2020 01:30:51.239 --> 01:30:52.319 How did they get the concord? 2021 01:30:52.600 --> 01:30:55.479 Was there a concord from San Francisco to love It? 2022 01:30:57.359 --> 01:30:59.800 Maybe Los Angeles. Let's say there was a concord from 2023 01:31:00.000 --> 01:31:03.760 Los Angeles. They flew at to La caught the concord. 2024 01:31:04.319 --> 01:31:05.840 That's it. That's fine, that's how he did it. 2025 01:31:05.920 --> 01:31:08.960 That's fine, we'll take it. Hallie tells them that about 2026 01:31:09.039 --> 01:31:11.680 thirty seconds after they left, we realized we didn't want 2027 01:31:11.720 --> 01:31:15.560 to lose you two again. And Elizabeth says we and 2028 01:31:15.640 --> 01:31:16.199 Hallie is. 2029 01:31:16.119 --> 01:31:18.520 Like, no, bitch, I flew the concord by myself. 2030 01:31:19.399 --> 01:31:24.319 I literally flew it. I piloted the concord. Here keep going, 2031 01:31:26.119 --> 01:31:29.600 so Nick appears and says, we I made the mistake 2032 01:31:29.640 --> 01:31:32.119 of not coming after you once, Lizzie. I'm not going 2033 01:31:32.159 --> 01:31:35.279 to do that again, And they kiss and the twins 2034 01:31:35.319 --> 01:31:38.720 rejoice and they say we did it, and that's the 2035 01:31:38.840 --> 01:31:42.000 end of the movie. They are quite literally not citizens 2036 01:31:42.000 --> 01:31:42.920 of the same country. 2037 01:31:43.680 --> 01:31:45.760 Yeah, I don't know. One of them clearly goes to 2038 01:31:45.840 --> 01:31:48.520 like an amazing school in London, and the other one 2039 01:31:49.000 --> 01:31:50.279 just like lives on her by. 2040 01:31:50.079 --> 01:31:52.920 Her wits, gets home schooled by CHESSI yes, I don't know. 2041 01:31:53.399 --> 01:31:56.520 I don't just like flies to Vegas every weekend for 2042 01:31:56.560 --> 01:31:59.439 a tournament and then comes home with like like twenty 2043 01:31:59.479 --> 01:32:02.119 thousand dollars richer. So I don't know how they're gonna survive. 2044 01:32:02.680 --> 01:32:06.239 Yeah, that is the end of the parent Trap. So 2045 01:32:06.760 --> 01:32:07.399 stick around. 2046 01:32:07.439 --> 01:32:09.079 We will come right back and we'll give you our 2047 01:32:09.119 --> 01:32:23.479 random observations and final rankings. 2048 01:32:20.000 --> 01:32:24.359 And we're back. Paul, who's your favorite twin? Let me start, 2049 01:32:24.399 --> 01:32:25.399 There's start. 2050 01:32:25.279 --> 01:32:26.359 My favorite twin. 2051 01:32:26.640 --> 01:32:30.199 Yeah, I feel like Hallie is the obvious answer, but 2052 01:32:30.319 --> 01:32:32.039 I think I'm gonna go with Annie because I'm telling 2053 01:32:32.119 --> 01:32:34.079 you Annie, Annie was the one who I had to 2054 01:32:34.079 --> 01:32:36.079 deal with all the shit Hallie got to go to 2055 01:32:36.119 --> 01:32:39.399 have a beautiful London vacation. Basically, have nothing bad happened 2056 01:32:39.439 --> 01:32:41.680 for like three days. Annie had to get her hair 2057 01:32:41.720 --> 01:32:43.960 cut that she didn't want, she got her ears pierced, 2058 01:32:44.079 --> 01:32:46.319 and then she went home to a fucking disaster that 2059 01:32:46.359 --> 01:32:47.119 she had to deal with. 2060 01:32:47.279 --> 01:32:50.279 Oh, you're right, I keep forgetting what the ears piercing 2061 01:32:50.319 --> 01:32:54.279 that really is intense. You're absolutely right. They really should 2062 01:32:54.279 --> 01:32:55.239 have switched the twins up. 2063 01:32:55.439 --> 01:32:55.680 Yeah. 2064 01:32:55.760 --> 01:32:58.039 I see your points. I see all of your points, 2065 01:32:58.079 --> 01:33:01.359 and they're all valid. I'm gonna go Halle. So I'm 2066 01:33:01.359 --> 01:33:03.680 gonna go to Halle, who I do believe flew the 2067 01:33:03.720 --> 01:33:08.079 concord by herself. Yea, from from la to London. At 2068 01:33:08.079 --> 01:33:10.239 the end of the film, all right, what are your 2069 01:33:10.319 --> 01:33:11.479 random observations? 2070 01:33:11.760 --> 01:33:15.960 Okay, this is a very like, uh, geographical stupid thing. 2071 01:33:16.000 --> 01:33:18.720 But in the beginning, when when Halle is telling all 2072 01:33:18.760 --> 01:33:21.159 of her new friends that she's from Napa, and she's like, 2073 01:33:21.199 --> 01:33:24.319 it's in northern California, and I'm like, every single person 2074 01:33:24.399 --> 01:33:26.800 I know that comes from that area is like, it's 2075 01:33:26.840 --> 01:33:30.119 not northern California. It's like it's like in New York 2076 01:33:30.159 --> 01:33:33.800 when anything even three feet outside of the Bronx is upstate. Yeah, 2077 01:33:33.840 --> 01:33:38.000 it's like like there's Napa is like halfway up California. 2078 01:33:38.159 --> 01:33:40.720 It's mid California. It's not northern California. 2079 01:33:40.880 --> 01:33:42.680 No one. I've never heard anyone be like, we're in 2080 01:33:42.760 --> 01:33:43.920 mid California. 2081 01:33:43.920 --> 01:33:46.000 Well no, but it's it's like it's just north of 2082 01:33:46.119 --> 01:33:47.159 La that's all. 2083 01:33:47.199 --> 01:33:48.640 It is. Northern California. 2084 01:33:48.680 --> 01:33:51.760 There's there's a whole nother like third of California above 2085 01:33:51.840 --> 01:33:52.560 Napa Valley. 2086 01:33:52.760 --> 01:33:56.439 Oh. I know because I drew. I once was in 2087 01:33:56.479 --> 01:34:01.479 a car that drove three hours north of Yeah, we 2088 01:34:01.479 --> 01:34:04.119 weren't even close to being out of California. I was like, 2089 01:34:04.119 --> 01:34:05.600 how fucking big is this state? 2090 01:34:06.199 --> 01:34:07.880 Too big? Frankly too big. 2091 01:34:08.479 --> 01:34:12.880 I also have a geographic one. When Martin drops Annie 2092 01:34:12.880 --> 01:34:15.520 off at camp, he says goodbye to her, they do 2093 01:34:15.560 --> 01:34:17.760 their little handshake. He gets in the limo, and then 2094 01:34:17.800 --> 01:34:20.479 you hear him very clearly, go all right, take me 2095 01:34:20.560 --> 01:34:23.399 to the airport to the driver, and I'm like, buddy, 2096 01:34:23.960 --> 01:34:27.199 you're in Maine. It's beautiful here by a lobster roll. 2097 01:34:27.359 --> 01:34:28.640 Go go go see the. 2098 01:34:28.520 --> 01:34:29.880 Ocean, see the sights. 2099 01:34:30.439 --> 01:34:33.840 Don't go straight to the airport. That sucks, That really sucks. 2100 01:34:34.439 --> 01:34:36.119 He has to fly right back to make sure that 2101 01:34:36.560 --> 01:34:38.920 Elizabeth doesn't burn down the house because she's not paying 2102 01:34:38.920 --> 01:34:42.439 attention any It's like, I'm the last line of defense 2103 01:34:42.479 --> 01:34:45.399 between this idiot and a conflagration to rival the Great 2104 01:34:45.439 --> 01:34:48.079 London Fire. Like we have to we have to keep 2105 01:34:48.159 --> 01:34:54.199 eyes on her. There's something that Annie says when she 2106 01:34:54.319 --> 01:34:57.159 meets her father for the first time, and it's in 2107 01:34:57.239 --> 01:34:59.319 their car ride back to the back to the vineyard, 2108 01:34:59.359 --> 01:35:01.039 and it's very cute and she keeps messing up until 2109 01:35:01.079 --> 01:35:02.920 she's messing up and she has to kind of justify 2110 01:35:02.960 --> 01:35:05.760 herself and she starts talking about how important it is 2111 01:35:05.760 --> 01:35:08.319 to have a father, and she says, think about it. 2112 01:35:08.439 --> 01:35:12.960 There's a whole day dedicated to celebrating fathers. And it's like, girl, 2113 01:35:13.119 --> 01:35:14.399 we're at the point where there's a who Day. It's 2114 01:35:14.399 --> 01:35:21.199 dedicad to celebrating everyone, like mothers, brothers, siblings, sisters, cousins, grandparents, grandparents. 2115 01:35:21.279 --> 01:35:22.560 There are days for donuts. 2116 01:35:22.600 --> 01:35:23.680 The gays get a whole month. 2117 01:35:23.640 --> 01:35:25.079 There is a National donut Day. 2118 01:35:25.319 --> 01:35:27.640 It's not a real proof point for you the way 2119 01:35:27.640 --> 01:35:28.199 you're treating it. 2120 01:35:28.319 --> 01:35:32.560 Ah. There's one bit of nineties ephemera in the film 2121 01:35:32.600 --> 01:35:35.880 that tickles me. Tickled me so much when Mary at 2122 01:35:35.920 --> 01:35:37.880 what point Mary it is is driving up to the 2123 01:35:37.920 --> 01:35:40.920 house and she's blasting her music in her car and 2124 01:35:40.960 --> 01:35:44.159 she's of course driving like a convertible because she's that 2125 01:35:44.239 --> 01:35:47.159 kind of gal. This as long as she's blasting as 2126 01:35:47.399 --> 01:35:52.720 parents just don't understand. There's so many levels to this. 2127 01:35:53.119 --> 01:35:55.279 Is it ant a joke about how parents just don't 2128 01:35:55.359 --> 01:35:58.319 understand like the parents in this movie? Is it that 2129 01:35:58.359 --> 01:36:01.960 this is what this woman thinks rap? Is Is it 2130 01:36:02.000 --> 01:36:04.039 that this is what Nancy Meyers thinks? 2131 01:36:04.680 --> 01:36:07.439 Is is it her attempt at bonding with the kid 2132 01:36:07.479 --> 01:36:09.039 that she might be the stepmother too? 2133 01:36:09.680 --> 01:36:12.159 I have more questions than answers, frankly, but I don't know. 2134 01:36:12.800 --> 01:36:15.560 I don't care. It's it tickled me so much that 2135 01:36:15.640 --> 01:36:17.560 she's listening to parents just don't understand. 2136 01:36:18.800 --> 01:36:19.439 There is a Brie. 2137 01:36:19.600 --> 01:36:22.479 There's a scene after Nick tells whichever daughter is there 2138 01:36:22.720 --> 01:36:25.479 that he's engaged to Meredith, and she comes up and 2139 01:36:25.520 --> 01:36:27.560 she's like, oh, what's wrong And she starts to kind 2140 01:36:27.600 --> 01:36:29.199 of like be all sexy with him, and he explains 2141 01:36:29.239 --> 01:36:33.239 to her. She gets out a bell and rings the 2142 01:36:33.279 --> 01:36:38.359 bell for Chessie, and Chessie arrives with the correct expression 2143 01:36:38.439 --> 01:36:41.760 on her face that is the moment you dump her. Yeah, 2144 01:36:41.800 --> 01:36:44.359 that is the moment that you're like, Nope, you're a 2145 01:36:44.399 --> 01:36:47.800 horrible person, like and instead he's like, please Chessie. Like 2146 01:36:47.880 --> 01:36:50.560 basically me, like, I know, I know she's a horrible 2147 01:36:50.600 --> 01:36:52.960 human being, but I really want to fuck her. 2148 01:36:53.079 --> 01:36:54.960 So would you mind like putting up with her for 2149 01:36:54.960 --> 01:36:55.560 a little while? 2150 01:36:55.640 --> 01:36:58.399 For me, I'm very curious as to how this marriage 2151 01:36:58.439 --> 01:37:00.479 is gonna work out because we have two people who 2152 01:37:00.479 --> 01:37:04.479 are like meaning Elizabeth and Nick, because we have two 2153 01:37:04.560 --> 01:37:08.840 people who are so spineless and in every way like 2154 01:37:08.880 --> 01:37:11.960 the two most fucking spineless human beings on the planet, 2155 01:37:12.199 --> 01:37:15.039 and then these two very willful little girls who basically 2156 01:37:15.119 --> 01:37:18.720 have to like do everything for their parents. Yeah, I 2157 01:37:18.720 --> 01:37:21.119 think a sequel would get dark, would get real dark, 2158 01:37:21.199 --> 01:37:21.760 or real quick. 2159 01:37:21.960 --> 01:37:25.199 I think we have yet another horror movie to propose, 2160 01:37:25.239 --> 01:37:28.560 in which they simply take over the finances for their parents, yeah, 2161 01:37:28.600 --> 01:37:29.920 and start running their lives. 2162 01:37:30.000 --> 01:37:32.600 Yeah, they pull a gaslight, they put their parents away 2163 01:37:32.640 --> 01:37:35.399 in an insane asylum, and they just run the businesses together. 2164 01:37:35.840 --> 01:37:39.239 They turn that vineyard into a billion dollar that's right. 2165 01:37:39.279 --> 01:37:42.359 They become the nixt Dom Perignon. Like that's how big 2166 01:37:42.399 --> 01:37:43.079 they fucking get. 2167 01:37:43.159 --> 01:37:45.680 And if you think they're not allowing tracking on their property, 2168 01:37:45.720 --> 01:37:47.159 you are sadly mistaken. 2169 01:37:47.239 --> 01:37:52.439 My friend, Ah, I just have one more. And when 2170 01:37:52.439 --> 01:37:54.079 the girls are at camp, one of the things they 2171 01:37:54.159 --> 01:37:56.560 bond over is they both like to eat Oreo cookies 2172 01:37:56.600 --> 01:37:59.000 with peanut butter. And the one who says it first 2173 01:37:59.239 --> 01:38:02.119 is like, I know a lot of people think that's disgusting, 2174 01:38:02.119 --> 01:38:04.000 and the other one's like, no, it sounds it's great. 2175 01:38:04.039 --> 01:38:06.319 And I was like, I've never done it, yeah, but 2176 01:38:06.399 --> 01:38:10.439 I don't think that sounds disgusting. In fact, that sounds incredible. 2177 01:38:10.520 --> 01:38:13.239 That was my last one. That's the thing. 2178 01:38:13.319 --> 01:38:15.840 I was like, what like say, like, I like, you know, 2179 01:38:16.000 --> 01:38:19.760 I like Oreos and jelly, right, that's weird. Oreos and 2180 01:38:19.800 --> 01:38:23.239 peanut butter. Nothing could seem more like two great tastes 2181 01:38:23.239 --> 01:38:24.159 that taste great together. 2182 01:38:24.479 --> 01:38:26.199 As soon as the movie said it, I was like, 2183 01:38:26.239 --> 01:38:27.840 can I go? Do I have time? And I'm like, no, 2184 01:38:27.880 --> 01:38:30.479 it's twelve fucking thirty because I started watching this too late. 2185 01:38:31.239 --> 01:38:34.439 Tomorrow I will get peanut butter and Oreos. 2186 01:38:34.960 --> 01:38:36.680 I remember when I was a kid, my mom used 2187 01:38:36.720 --> 01:38:39.439 to get these chocolate covered gram crackers and I would 2188 01:38:39.479 --> 01:38:41.760 dip them in peanut butter. To this day, one of 2189 01:38:41.760 --> 01:38:43.640 the most delicious things I've ever eaten in my entire 2190 01:38:43.640 --> 01:38:44.359 goddamn life. 2191 01:38:44.640 --> 01:38:47.560 Oh are those grand crackers still around or are they discontinued. 2192 01:38:48.279 --> 01:38:50.439 I don't know if they're still around, but I now, 2193 01:38:50.439 --> 01:38:52.720 because I'm fancy, I get these, like I get these 2194 01:38:52.760 --> 01:38:54.800 kind of fancy ones that are just dark chocolate covered 2195 01:38:54.800 --> 01:38:57.039 ground crackers and with peanut butter on them. 2196 01:38:57.159 --> 01:38:59.319 Oh, the next time I come to your house, we're 2197 01:38:59.319 --> 01:39:01.720 doing or that's what we're doing. We're doing that for 2198 01:39:01.880 --> 01:39:05.079 days when You're like, do you want to have lunch 2199 01:39:05.159 --> 01:39:07.039 and I'm like, no, I want to gorge myself on 2200 01:39:07.079 --> 01:39:10.199 peanut butter covered grand crackers. Is with chocolate? Please please, 2201 01:39:10.239 --> 01:39:10.600 and thank you? 2202 01:39:11.039 --> 01:39:11.359 Yes? 2203 01:39:11.800 --> 01:39:13.439 All right, Erica, how are we gonna How are we 2204 01:39:13.439 --> 01:39:16.600 gonna rank the Parent Trap one to ten? 2205 01:39:16.960 --> 01:39:18.399 Speedo Kings. 2206 01:39:18.800 --> 01:39:20.760 The great thing about the Speedo King in this movie 2207 01:39:20.800 --> 01:39:24.079 is that it was an unexpected speedo king. I didn't expect. 2208 01:39:24.199 --> 01:39:26.640 I didn't expect the speedo. I didn't expect the ability 2209 01:39:26.680 --> 01:39:29.640 to pull off the speedo. I didn't expect the Insussians 2210 01:39:29.960 --> 01:39:31.399 with which it was pulled off. 2211 01:39:31.520 --> 01:39:36.159 Good like, perfectly put, perfectly put The jaunty little dance 2212 01:39:36.279 --> 01:39:38.600 in which he came out in front of his employer 2213 01:39:38.840 --> 01:39:42.000 and an eleven year old girl and was absolutely living 2214 01:39:42.119 --> 01:39:42.960 my best life. 2215 01:39:43.560 --> 01:39:48.520 I'm going to the pool, see you later. One to 2216 01:39:48.520 --> 01:39:51.439 ten criminally terrible parents. 2217 01:39:51.560 --> 01:39:54.800 Truly like yeah, like the courts should get. 2218 01:39:54.600 --> 01:39:58.560 Involved, Yeah yeah, yeah, or another court because the court 2219 01:39:58.560 --> 01:40:00.359 they apparently went to drop the ball. 2220 01:40:00.600 --> 01:40:03.359 What about that grandfather? Can't that grandfather just raised both 2221 01:40:03.399 --> 01:40:05.000 those girls on his own. 2222 01:40:05.319 --> 01:40:08.199 Although didn't Jesse and Martin have anything to say about this? 2223 01:40:08.840 --> 01:40:10.560 Yeah, I was gonna say, now that I think about it, 2224 01:40:10.600 --> 01:40:12.119 that grandfather is complicit too. 2225 01:40:12.159 --> 01:40:15.000 I suppose everyone is complicit. 2226 01:40:15.319 --> 01:40:17.159 You have a theory that Martin didn't know. I don't 2227 01:40:17.199 --> 01:40:18.159 believe it Martin knew. 2228 01:40:19.039 --> 01:40:21.159 I don't think Martin new. I want I don't want 2229 01:40:21.159 --> 01:40:24.399 to believe Martin knew. Martin to be innocent in all 2230 01:40:24.439 --> 01:40:28.479 of this. One to ten children with body dysmorphia and 2231 01:40:28.680 --> 01:40:31.960 or face blindness where they don't see themselves in the world. 2232 01:40:32.439 --> 01:40:34.319 Yeah, Hallie just goes to the world. She sees a mirror. 2233 01:40:34.399 --> 01:40:36.960 She just sees Brandy. Carlyle's like, yes, yeah. 2234 01:40:36.600 --> 01:40:40.000 She just sees lydia tar right when she looks at herself. 2235 01:40:40.239 --> 01:40:43.920 That's all she sees Annie. Annie sees Queen. 2236 01:40:43.800 --> 01:40:50.920 Victoria yea, Annie sees Dame Maggie Smith. At like twenty seven, Annie. 2237 01:40:50.680 --> 01:40:53.399 Sees Vanessa Redgrave, which actually does work. 2238 01:40:53.479 --> 01:40:54.039 In the film. 2239 01:40:54.119 --> 01:40:54.279 Yeah. 2240 01:40:54.319 --> 01:40:56.159 That tracks all tracks, that all tracks. 2241 01:40:56.279 --> 01:40:57.399 Yeah. 2242 01:40:57.479 --> 01:40:59.960 Yeah. One to ten Punishment Cabin. 2243 01:41:00.640 --> 01:41:04.319 I went to the Punishment Cabin. Yeah, it's in that 2244 01:41:04.439 --> 01:41:09.079 area of Tribeca that's still lawless by the tunnel. 2245 01:41:09.439 --> 01:41:12.479 Yeah, but this is slightly different. 2246 01:41:12.680 --> 01:41:16.399 How about one to ten tween girls that wake up 2247 01:41:16.399 --> 01:41:20.600 one day and there's two wolves sitting inside them. One 2248 01:41:20.640 --> 01:41:22.760 is being written by Attila the Hunt and the other 2249 01:41:22.840 --> 01:41:25.119 one is being written by Eleanor of Aquitaine. 2250 01:41:26.319 --> 01:41:28.880 One is being written by Thanos and one is being 2251 01:41:28.880 --> 01:41:29.920 written by Magneto. 2252 01:41:32.800 --> 01:41:36.039 One is being written by Bloody Mary Tudor and the 2253 01:41:36.079 --> 01:41:37.960 other one is being written by Napoleon. 2254 01:41:38.560 --> 01:41:41.119 One's being written by Jaafar and the other one's being 2255 01:41:41.119 --> 01:41:44.800 written by Ursula. 2256 01:41:45.039 --> 01:41:47.239 How about this one, Let's do this, this one, fun 2257 01:41:47.279 --> 01:41:48.600 with this one, this one? 2258 01:41:48.880 --> 01:41:50.560 Do you want to go first? Or shall I go first? 2259 01:41:50.800 --> 01:41:54.640 I'll go first on this one. It's a Nancy Myers film. 2260 01:41:54.479 --> 01:41:57.000 M I don't think I have to tell anyone. Mary 2261 01:41:57.000 --> 01:42:00.640 a person of color. Yeah, entirely white. I don't even 2262 01:42:00.680 --> 01:42:02.239 think there were black kids at that camp. 2263 01:42:02.560 --> 01:42:04.680 There were there were, oh yeah. 2264 01:42:04.760 --> 01:42:07.159 The reason I know is because one of Annie's friends 2265 01:42:07.239 --> 01:42:09.920 was played by Kat Graham, who grew up to become 2266 01:42:10.039 --> 01:42:13.600 like a CW actress. Ye, and so I recognized her. 2267 01:42:13.640 --> 01:42:15.600 That's the only reason I'm one hundred percent positive that 2268 01:42:15.600 --> 01:42:16.880 there was at least one little black girl. 2269 01:42:17.000 --> 01:42:18.840 There was one little girl of color at the camp. 2270 01:42:18.920 --> 01:42:21.399 And Meredith is listening to parents just don't understand. You 2271 01:42:21.439 --> 01:42:23.199 know what, Let's give this film an n double ACP 2272 01:42:23.279 --> 01:42:27.640 Award right now, right now. I love Nancy Myers. I 2273 01:42:27.680 --> 01:42:30.880 do enjoy her films. They are by white people for 2274 01:42:31.119 --> 01:42:31.680 white people. 2275 01:42:32.039 --> 01:42:32.479 It's true. 2276 01:42:32.520 --> 01:42:35.079 I actually think in most cases is fine. Like I 2277 01:42:35.079 --> 01:42:37.680 don't think I don't think something's got to give needs 2278 01:42:37.680 --> 01:42:38.600 people of color in it. 2279 01:42:38.760 --> 01:42:41.119 Nancy Myers makes white nonsense films. Yeah, I say that 2280 01:42:41.199 --> 01:42:44.399 with deep love, with love and respect, I have a one. 2281 01:42:44.239 --> 01:42:46.840 Hundred percent agree. I don't think Baby Boom needs a 2282 01:42:46.840 --> 01:42:50.800 lot of diversity. I don't think it's complicated requires a 2283 01:42:50.840 --> 01:42:54.439 lot of diversity. So that's fine. But this one, because 2284 01:42:54.439 --> 01:42:57.359 it's about kids, four kids, and it's nineteen ninety eight, 2285 01:42:57.399 --> 01:42:59.399 it's a little late for the white blindness to be 2286 01:42:59.520 --> 01:43:02.720 on so hard, Like a little more diversity would have 2287 01:43:02.720 --> 01:43:03.880 been would have been great. 2288 01:43:03.960 --> 01:43:05.880 Wemake this movie with an interracial couple. 2289 01:43:06.600 --> 01:43:12.199 Cast, cast Constance Woo and and and Paul mescal. 2290 01:43:13.680 --> 01:43:14.399 As the parents. 2291 01:43:15.680 --> 01:43:19.079 Twist. She's the vintner, he's the fashion designer. 2292 01:43:19.279 --> 01:43:19.760 That's right. 2293 01:43:19.840 --> 01:43:20.439 He lives in. 2294 01:43:20.439 --> 01:43:22.279 Dublin and still does wedding dresses. 2295 01:43:22.680 --> 01:43:25.640 Yeah, still does wedding dresses and wear short shorts all 2296 01:43:25.680 --> 01:43:26.079 the time. 2297 01:43:26.279 --> 01:43:28.520 Straight as an arrow, straight as a narrow, Straight as 2298 01:43:28.520 --> 01:43:28.880 an arrow. 2299 01:43:28.920 --> 01:43:31.039 He's not even a bisexual king in this He's straight 2300 01:43:31.039 --> 01:43:31.560 in this movie. 2301 01:43:31.680 --> 01:43:33.880 No, his best friend is played by Andrew Scott though, 2302 01:43:34.000 --> 01:43:36.680 that's right, they're Butler. They're Butler is played by Andrew 2303 01:43:36.720 --> 01:43:38.880 Scott Cannon. 2304 01:43:39.319 --> 01:43:41.880 That is a great movie. That is a fucking great movie. 2305 01:43:44.039 --> 01:43:47.159 Who plays the himbo who's trying to steal Constant Woo's money. 2306 01:43:47.199 --> 01:43:48.560 He's trying to gold dig Constance Woo. 2307 01:43:48.640 --> 01:43:51.000 Then Alan Richson done so. 2308 01:43:51.159 --> 01:43:54.800 Yeah, no diversity. In most cases, I would give Nancy 2309 01:43:54.800 --> 01:43:57.279 Meyer movies passes because, as Paul says, and he's not wrong, 2310 01:43:57.359 --> 01:43:59.359 they are white nonsense movies. 2311 01:43:59.439 --> 01:44:02.319 They're white no sense of the highest order, and like, 2312 01:44:02.399 --> 01:44:03.399 you know what, some. 2313 01:44:03.800 --> 01:44:10.479 Like white nonsense needs needs to need some representation too. 2314 01:44:08.079 --> 01:44:10.079 Sure needs to be aired out. 2315 01:44:10.079 --> 01:44:13.600 Sometimes sometimes you just want to see a white lady 2316 01:44:13.680 --> 01:44:16.600 dancing in her million dollar kitchen. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, 2317 01:44:16.640 --> 01:44:19.560 would have loved more gay representation than the one the 2318 01:44:19.560 --> 01:44:23.600 one assistant who is clearly supposed to be gay. The 2319 01:44:23.680 --> 01:44:26.159 messaging is not great, like, but I don't think kids 2320 01:44:26.159 --> 01:44:27.960 are going to take anything from it. I don't. It's 2321 01:44:27.960 --> 01:44:29.960 not the kind of kids movie where the messaging isn't great, 2322 01:44:29.960 --> 01:44:32.239 and I think it's detrimental to kids in their development. 2323 01:44:32.359 --> 01:44:34.600 No, because it's so even kids would know this is silly. 2324 01:44:34.680 --> 01:44:37.960 Good roles for women. I'm gonna give it a six. 2325 01:44:38.359 --> 01:44:42.600 He was six out of ten tween girls with wolves 2326 01:44:43.359 --> 01:44:46.800 dire wolves inside of them. Sure one is written by Aria, 2327 01:44:46.880 --> 01:44:48.359 the other one is written by Sansa. 2328 01:44:48.920 --> 01:44:51.399 Okay, yeah, all right, how about you, Paul? 2329 01:44:52.079 --> 01:44:54.800 Uh? Yeah, I think that's it. Like the movie is 2330 01:44:55.039 --> 01:44:58.439 the very definition of like harmless. Like it's so silly, 2331 01:44:58.520 --> 01:45:01.520 it's so over the top. I think more diversity would 2332 01:45:01.520 --> 01:45:04.359 have been welcome. I will say there is one moment 2333 01:45:04.399 --> 01:45:06.640 where Lindsay Lohan does say a word that we don't 2334 01:45:06.680 --> 01:45:09.119 use anymore. She says, we are being jipped, which is 2335 01:45:09.199 --> 01:45:11.520 generally considered a faux pas. 2336 01:45:11.640 --> 01:45:13.039 Oh right, totally. 2337 01:45:13.239 --> 01:45:15.760 That not a huge one, but like it just stuck 2338 01:45:15.800 --> 01:45:17.279 out because I'm like, wow, I haven't heard someone say 2339 01:45:17.279 --> 01:45:19.479 that in a long time, because we don't say that anymore. 2340 01:45:19.680 --> 01:45:22.239 It's not polite. Yes, by the way, One thing I 2341 01:45:22.239 --> 01:45:23.880 do want to mention this has nothing to do with 2342 01:45:23.880 --> 01:45:26.279 my rating of the film though, but like the CGI 2343 01:45:26.880 --> 01:45:28.119 is seamless. 2344 01:45:28.560 --> 01:45:29.239 Yeah, it's pretty good. 2345 01:45:29.359 --> 01:45:32.399 It's so seamless that I genuinely had moments where I 2346 01:45:32.439 --> 01:45:34.520 thought it was too like it feels like you're watching 2347 01:45:34.560 --> 01:45:35.600 two different girls. 2348 01:45:35.880 --> 01:45:36.079 Yeah. 2349 01:45:36.079 --> 01:45:39.039 I don't really have any complaints about the movie. It's charming, 2350 01:45:39.119 --> 01:45:42.760 it's fun, it is four kids, it is I don't 2351 01:45:42.920 --> 01:45:45.399 know that like it's something I'm going to watch again 2352 01:45:45.479 --> 01:45:46.960 because it is not for me, although I had a 2353 01:45:46.960 --> 01:45:49.600 perfectly good time watching it. The gay assistant is very 2354 01:45:49.600 --> 01:45:52.720 clearly coded as gay. I actually really like I didn't think. 2355 01:45:52.840 --> 01:45:54.600 I kind of had an idea, but I hadn't really 2356 01:45:55.039 --> 01:45:57.159 formed it in my head about Halle being kind of 2357 01:45:57.239 --> 01:45:58.600 coded as a little queer. 2358 01:45:58.920 --> 01:46:02.760 Oh, I wasn't kidding about that. I think that's part 2359 01:46:02.760 --> 01:46:03.039 of it. 2360 01:46:03.560 --> 01:46:06.640 I think that's there, and I think it's I don't 2361 01:46:06.640 --> 01:46:10.079 even necessarily know if Nancy Myers thought that, And I 2362 01:46:10.119 --> 01:46:11.479 don't mean that as an insult to her at all. 2363 01:46:11.479 --> 01:46:13.840 I just mean, like, you could very easily say this 2364 01:46:13.880 --> 01:46:16.720 girl is being brought up by her London fashion designer mother, 2365 01:46:16.760 --> 01:46:19.359 and this girl is being brought up by her rancher father, 2366 01:46:19.800 --> 01:46:22.239 and so like that could be all that was thought 2367 01:46:22.239 --> 01:46:23.920 of to try to differentiate. 2368 01:46:23.439 --> 01:46:24.239 The two characters. 2369 01:46:24.479 --> 01:46:26.159 But it does come off as a little queer, and 2370 01:46:26.479 --> 01:46:28.800 I think that's cool. And I wouldn't be surprised if, 2371 01:46:28.800 --> 01:46:30.760 like you said, I if some little queer girl out 2372 01:46:30.760 --> 01:46:33.159 there saw this and was like, I am hallie, you know, 2373 01:46:33.279 --> 01:46:35.479 like that kind of thing. I'll give the movie some 2374 01:46:35.479 --> 01:46:38.239 credit for that. I'll give it a six. I'll agree 2375 01:46:38.239 --> 01:46:41.399 with you six out of ten. Twin girls waking up 2376 01:46:41.399 --> 01:46:44.239 and suddenly deep in their stomach, deep in their soul, 2377 01:46:44.720 --> 01:46:49.600 ride two bloody wolves dancing through an inferno, and on 2378 01:46:49.600 --> 01:46:52.279 one rides Joe Peshi from Goodfellas, and on the other 2379 01:46:52.359 --> 01:46:53.920 rides Joe Peshi from Home Alone. 2380 01:46:54.159 --> 01:46:59.199 Oo. You get out of that kid's way. 2381 01:46:59.800 --> 01:47:00.800 This way, you. 2382 01:47:00.720 --> 01:47:04.439 Fucking run, do not look directly in her eyes. Just 2383 01:47:04.479 --> 01:47:04.960 don't do it. 2384 01:47:05.079 --> 01:47:06.960 That kid is Medusa, that's right. 2385 01:47:07.880 --> 01:47:10.600 So I don't. 2386 01:47:10.399 --> 01:47:12.399 Feel the need to offer a palate cleanser on this one, 2387 01:47:12.439 --> 01:47:13.880 do you No, I. 2388 01:47:13.840 --> 01:47:16.119 Didn't see the original. I'm sure it's charming. This one 2389 01:47:16.199 --> 01:47:19.960 I found very charming, if not a little too long. Honestly, 2390 01:47:20.079 --> 01:47:22.399 once the kids go get reunited with their parents, if 2391 01:47:22.399 --> 01:47:25.119 you're an adult watching this, just bow out there. Just 2392 01:47:25.439 --> 01:47:27.760 once you see the speedo. Frankly, once you see the 2393 01:47:27.760 --> 01:47:29.039 speedo scene. 2394 01:47:29.000 --> 01:47:31.039 Thispato is the most important scene in movie. 2395 01:47:31.079 --> 01:47:33.800 You've seen everything you need to see. You're done, You're good, 2396 01:47:33.960 --> 01:47:38.600 just because these two fucking parents figuring out like their nonsense. 2397 01:47:38.720 --> 01:47:41.359 It's it goes on for way too long. 2398 01:47:41.279 --> 01:47:44.000 Way too long, particularly because it's so obvious how much 2399 01:47:44.039 --> 01:47:44.760 they love each other. 2400 01:47:45.119 --> 01:47:47.560 It's so clear. And they suck. 2401 01:47:48.239 --> 01:47:49.920 Yeah, they just suck. 2402 01:47:49.920 --> 01:47:52.520 All right, Erica. So that is the end of our show. 2403 01:47:52.720 --> 01:47:55.079 Everyone listening can follow us on social media. We are 2404 01:47:55.119 --> 01:47:57.560 on Instagram, we are on Twitter, we are on threads. 2405 01:47:58.119 --> 01:47:59.720 We have a tea public shop where you can pick 2406 01:47:59.760 --> 01:48:02.600 up podcast swag, and if you're a Spotify user, keep 2407 01:48:02.600 --> 01:48:05.239 a lookout for questions and polls about each episode, I'm 2408 01:48:05.239 --> 01:48:06.960 just thinking about the tea public shop. Do we want 2409 01:48:07.760 --> 01:48:09.439 can we get can we get two wolves? 2410 01:48:09.800 --> 01:48:11.159 Somehow girls? 2411 01:48:11.199 --> 01:48:12.000 Tween girls? 2412 01:48:12.079 --> 01:48:14.520 Yeah, yeah, we'll think about that. 2413 01:48:14.640 --> 01:48:16.319 We would love it if you would leave a five 2414 01:48:16.359 --> 01:48:19.199 star of you on Apple Podcasts or any podcasting platform 2415 01:48:19.239 --> 01:48:21.479 that you use. If you do that, just like Joe 2416 01:48:21.479 --> 01:48:23.560 Ann Rose from the top of this episode, you let 2417 01:48:23.600 --> 01:48:25.119 us know that you did it, we will send you 2418 01:48:25.199 --> 01:48:28.800 at that Age Well tote bag, any any podcasting app 2419 01:48:28.840 --> 01:48:30.279 that you do it on. Just let me know I 2420 01:48:30.279 --> 01:48:32.520 did it on this app. You know, email me, I'll 2421 01:48:32.560 --> 01:48:35.000 send you the tote bag. We don't discriminate here about 2422 01:48:35.039 --> 01:48:37.039 podcasting providers platforms. 2423 01:48:37.039 --> 01:48:40.399 We're platform polyamorous over here. 2424 01:48:40.159 --> 01:48:42.479 We're pan podcatcher here haha. 2425 01:48:43.560 --> 01:48:46.399 That Aged Well is produced and edited by Paul Kayola. 2426 01:48:46.840 --> 01:48:51.319 We would like to thank Faye, Sydney, Mara, Sephina, Justine, 2427 01:48:51.560 --> 01:48:55.760 Jan Kessler, Jenny and some of those people whose name 2428 01:48:55.800 --> 01:48:58.880 is Paul simply could not identify from their social media profiles. 2429 01:48:58.920 --> 01:49:00.960 He is going to start deep dive, He's going to 2430 01:49:01.000 --> 01:49:03.680 start looking into it, and that's how we discover that 2431 01:49:03.760 --> 01:49:05.520 one of our biggest fans. 2432 01:49:05.279 --> 01:49:10.319 Is Norman Schwartz cough Storman Norman himself. 2433 01:49:11.960 --> 01:49:15.399 Huge fan of the pod. Anyone under forty has no 2434 01:49:15.439 --> 01:49:16.720 idea who we're talking to me nothing. 2435 01:49:16.960 --> 01:49:19.520 That was a real deep dive for our younger listeners. 2436 01:49:19.720 --> 01:49:24.279 Ah. So thank you all for reaching out, especially you Norman. 2437 01:49:24.399 --> 01:49:25.039 We love you. 2438 01:49:25.119 --> 01:49:27.119 We love you, Norman, We love you Norman. 2439 01:49:29.359 --> 01:49:31.319 Thank you all for reaching out and letting us know 2440 01:49:31.359 --> 01:49:33.279 what you want to hear. If you want to have 2441 01:49:33.319 --> 01:49:35.159 a say in the topics we discussed, you can join 2442 01:49:35.199 --> 01:49:38.640 our patreon. Every patron gets to vote in an exclusive 2443 01:49:38.640 --> 01:49:41.680 monthly poll to determine one of our subjects. So head 2444 01:49:41.720 --> 01:49:44.479 on over to patreon dot com slash that Aged Well 2445 01:49:44.560 --> 01:49:46.079 podcast to find out more. 2446 01:49:46.399 --> 01:49:49.119 Speaking of which, some tears in our Patreon come with 2447 01:49:49.159 --> 01:49:53.600 a thanks for a podcast character. And today we're hearing, Oh, 2448 01:49:53.760 --> 01:49:56.039 we're hearing from She's She's a true favorite. 2449 01:49:56.079 --> 01:49:56.920 She's a pure delight. 2450 01:49:57.119 --> 01:49:59.319 Just just make sure you don't call her a black widow, 2451 01:49:59.359 --> 01:50:01.720 because the bite a black widow is rarely fatal in 2452 01:50:01.760 --> 01:50:02.359 real life. 2453 01:50:02.840 --> 01:50:04.760 It's missus White from Glue. 2454 01:50:05.640 --> 01:50:09.439 Don't flatter me with your introductions after sending me yet 2455 01:50:09.640 --> 01:50:15.159 another one of your passive, aggressive, threatening invitations. I nearly 2456 01:50:15.560 --> 01:50:20.399 threw it in the fire. And covered it in frame flames. 2457 01:50:20.199 --> 01:50:23.119 Flames, Missus White, I'm terribly sorry. 2458 01:50:23.159 --> 01:50:25.079 I genuinely don't know what you're referring to. 2459 01:50:25.319 --> 01:50:31.359 Oh don't you, don't you. I've never been so clearly blackmailed. 2460 01:50:31.600 --> 01:50:34.600 I have what you wrote right here, dear missus White. 2461 01:50:34.880 --> 01:50:38.079 I would love to have you back to thank Teresa 2462 01:50:38.279 --> 01:50:42.039 Liptak for being a patron of that that aged dwell 2463 01:50:42.479 --> 01:50:46.039 liptac lip my lips tack like tacky sticky. I know 2464 01:50:46.119 --> 01:50:46.720 what you're doing. 2465 01:50:47.159 --> 01:50:49.319 I believe that is our patron's name. 2466 01:50:49.920 --> 01:50:52.600 Why well you thought I wouldn't hear the threat you 2467 01:50:52.680 --> 01:50:55.439 expect me to believe it's a coincidence that the so 2468 01:50:55.640 --> 01:50:59.680 called patron's name is Liptack and has nothing to do 2469 01:50:59.720 --> 01:51:04.800 with the slow, spine tingling death of my twelfth husband, 2470 01:51:05.119 --> 01:51:09.680 Bert Bartholomew the Fourth, in a horrifying fiasco involving his 2471 01:51:10.119 --> 01:51:14.159 lips and a tube of super glue disguised this chapstick 2472 01:51:14.359 --> 01:51:16.960 that has never been located by the authorities. 2473 01:51:17.479 --> 01:51:21.000 You were married to someone named Bert Bartholomew the Fourth. 2474 01:51:20.720 --> 01:51:23.039 Of course I was. He was the heir to the 2475 01:51:23.079 --> 01:51:26.720 Bert's Bees personal care product fortune. And there's no person 2476 01:51:26.760 --> 01:51:30.000 on earth I care for than more than myself, except, 2477 01:51:30.079 --> 01:51:32.880 of course, for this Teresa Liptak, who I am here 2478 01:51:32.920 --> 01:51:36.680 to think. Thank you Teresa, is that as your real name? 2479 01:51:37.439 --> 01:51:40.079 Well, I'm really very sorry to hear of your husband's 2480 01:51:40.159 --> 01:51:41.920 passing and having your lips glued shut. 2481 01:51:42.000 --> 01:51:47.319 What a terrible way to die. 2482 01:51:47.640 --> 01:51:51.840 Yes, well it would be, though Darling Bert was also 2483 01:51:51.960 --> 01:51:55.279 found under a gimp mask with a smile on his face, 2484 01:51:55.640 --> 01:52:00.760 so perhaps it wasn't so terrible for him at the end. 2485 01:52:01.760 --> 01:52:05.479 I always say a widow's greatest joy is that her 2486 01:52:05.560 --> 01:52:10.560 husband died rich happy, happy. Her husband died richly happy, 2487 01:52:11.159 --> 01:52:13.239 that one thank you goodbye. 2488 01:52:13.840 --> 01:52:16.520 Well she you know, she's not great at covering up 2489 01:52:16.520 --> 01:52:18.520 her crimes, but she does keep getting away with them. 2490 01:52:19.039 --> 01:52:21.000 You know what, These men have it coming. Frankly, if 2491 01:52:21.039 --> 01:52:25.000 you're number twelve, Yeah, there's a history there. I don't 2492 01:52:25.000 --> 01:52:27.119 mean to victim blame here, but maybe that was his 2493 01:52:27.199 --> 01:52:27.600 whole thing. 2494 01:52:27.720 --> 01:52:29.359 Yeah, you're walking right into it at that point. 2495 01:52:29.439 --> 01:52:31.399 Yeah, I believe that's his whole Like those people who 2496 01:52:31.399 --> 01:52:34.399 find cannibals to eat them online, it's one of those situations. 2497 01:52:34.479 --> 01:52:39.239 It's an army hammer situation, all right, Erica, any final 2498 01:52:39.319 --> 01:52:41.079 thoughts on the parent trap. 2499 01:52:41.319 --> 01:52:45.920 Am I Erica? Or was I Jericha the whole time? 2500 01:52:46.600 --> 01:52:50.199 Oh no, it's Jericha, my evil British twin. 2501 01:52:51.279 --> 01:52:53.399 Do you know that is the actual ending of Pretty 2502 01:52:53.399 --> 01:52:54.039 Little Liars? 2503 01:52:54.600 --> 01:52:55.479 What? No? 2504 01:52:56.159 --> 01:52:57.920 So this is so off topic and I'm going to 2505 01:52:58.039 --> 01:53:00.439 keep it in. Pretty Little Liars ends with like the 2506 01:53:00.720 --> 01:53:03.159 whole concept of the shows. These girls have been blackmailed 2507 01:53:03.159 --> 01:53:06.039 for years about like from this person who knows. I 2508 01:53:06.000 --> 01:53:07.920 didn't even know what they did. I'd never watched an episode. 2509 01:53:07.960 --> 01:53:10.720 But the actual ending is that one of them has 2510 01:53:10.760 --> 01:53:13.039 an evil British twin that's been torturing them. 2511 01:53:14.279 --> 01:53:16.840 Love Well, now I got to watch Pretty Little Liars 2512 01:53:17.000 --> 01:53:26.840 now I'm in. I would watch this for the house porn. 2513 01:53:27.119 --> 01:53:29.119 I really, I really, the first time they go to 2514 01:53:29.159 --> 01:53:31.119 that NAPA house, I'd be like, show me the house. 2515 01:53:31.319 --> 01:53:33.000 I think if I was going to watch Nancy Myers 2516 01:53:33.000 --> 01:53:34.960 movie for house porn, I think it's it's complicated. 2517 01:53:35.039 --> 01:53:35.600 I want to watch. 2518 01:53:35.600 --> 01:53:37.520 I want to see Meryl Streep's kitchen all the time. 2519 01:53:37.560 --> 01:53:39.479 Oh that's a good one. I'm going to go with 2520 01:53:39.479 --> 01:53:41.720 with something's got to give with the house in the 2521 01:53:41.760 --> 01:53:44.319 Hampton's Sure, it's a race to the top as far 2522 01:53:44.319 --> 01:53:47.800 as House porn goes with Nancy Myers films