Speaker 1: A grammatical ghost. There was only one possible objection to
Speaker 1: the drawing room, and that was the occasional presence of
Speaker 1: Miss Carew, and only one possible objection to Miss Carew,
Speaker 1: and that was that she was dead. She had been
Speaker 1: dead twenty years as a matter of fact and record,
Speaker 1: and to the last of her life sacredly preserved the
Speaker 1: treasures and traditions of her family, a family bound up,
Speaker 1: as it is quite unnecessary to explain to anyone in
Speaker 1: good society. With all that is most venerable and heroic
Speaker 1: in the history of the Republic, Miss Carew never relaxed
Speaker 1: the proverbial hospitality of her house, even when she remained
Speaker 1: its sole representative. She continued to preside at her table
Speaker 1: with dignity and state, and to set an example of
Speaker 1: excessive modesty in gentle decorum to a generation of restless
Speaker 1: young women. It is not likely that, having lived a
Speaker 1: life of such a reproachable gentility as this, Miss carrou
Speaker 1: would have the bad taste to die in any way
Speaker 1: not pleasant to mention. In fastidious society, she could be
Speaker 1: trusted to the last not to outrage those friends who
Speaker 1: quoted her as an exemplar of propriety. She died very
Speaker 1: unobtrusively of an affection of the heart one June morning,
Speaker 1: while trimming her rose trellis, and her lavender colored print
Speaker 1: was not even rumpled when she fell, nor were more
Speaker 1: than the tips of her little bronze slippers visible. Isn't
Speaker 1: it dreadful? Said the Philadelphians that the property should go
Speaker 1: to a very very distant cousin in Iowa, somewhere else
Speaker 1: on the frontier, about whom nobody knows anything at all.
Speaker 1: The Carew treasures were packed in boxes and sent away
Speaker 1: into the Iowa wilderness. The Carew traditions were preserved by
Speaker 1: the Historical Society. The Carew property, standing in one of
Speaker 1: the most umbrageous and aristocratic suburbs of Philadelphia, was rented
Speaker 1: to all manner of folk, anybody who had money enough
Speaker 1: to pay the rental, And Society entered its doors no more.
Speaker 1: But at last, after twenty years, and when all save
Speaker 1: the oldest Philadelphians had forgotten Miss Lydia Carew, the very
Speaker 1: very distant cousins appeared. He was quite in the prime
Speaker 1: of life, and so agreeable and unassuming that nothing could
Speaker 1: be urged against him save his patronymic, which, being Bogs,
Speaker 1: did not commend itself to the Euphemists. With him were
Speaker 1: two maiden sisters, ladies of excellent taste and manners, who
Speaker 1: restored the Carew china to its ancient cabinets, and replaced
Speaker 1: the Carew pictures upon the walls with additions not out
Speaker 1: of keeping with the elegance of these heirlooms. Society, with
Speaker 1: a magnanimity almost dramatic, overlooked the name of Bogs and
Speaker 1: called all was well. At least to an outsider, all
Speaker 1: seemed to be well. But in truth there was a
Speaker 1: certain distress in the old mansion, and in the hearts
Speaker 1: of the well behaved Missus Boggses. It came about most unexpectedly.
Speaker 1: The ciss had been sitting upstairs, looking out at the
Speaker 1: beautiful grounds of the old place, and marveling at the
Speaker 1: violets which lifted their heads from every possible cranny about
Speaker 1: the house, and talking over the cordiality which they had
Speaker 1: been receiving by those upon whom they had no claim,
Speaker 1: And they were filled with amiable satisfaction. Life looked attractive.
Speaker 1: They had often been grateful to Miss Lydia Carew for
Speaker 1: leaving their brother her fortune. Now they felt even more
Speaker 1: grateful to her. She had left them a social position,
Speaker 1: one which, even after twenty years of desuetude, was fit
Speaker 1: for use. They descended the stairs together with arms clasped
Speaker 1: about each other's waists, and as they did so, presented
Speaker 1: a placid and pleasing sight. They entered their drawing room
Speaker 1: with the intention of brewing a cup of tea and
Speaker 1: drinking it in calm sociability in the twilight. But as
Speaker 1: they entered the room they became aware of the presence
Speaker 1: of a lady who was already seated at their table,
Speaker 1: regarding their old wedgewood with the air of a car.
Speaker 1: There were a number of peculiarities about this intruder. To
Speaker 1: begin with, she was hatless, quite as if she were
Speaker 1: habitue of the house, and was costumed in a prim
Speaker 1: lilac colored lawn of the style of two decades past.
Speaker 1: But a greater peculiarity was the resemblance this lady bore
Speaker 1: to a faded daguer type. If looked at one way,
Speaker 1: she was perfectly discernible. If looked at another, she went
Speaker 1: out in a sort of blur. Notwithstanding this comparative invisibility.
Speaker 1: She exhaled a delicate perfume of sweet lavender, very pleasing
Speaker 1: to the nostrils of the missus Boggses, who stood looking
Speaker 1: at her in gentle and unprotesting surprise. I beg your pardon,
Speaker 1: began Miss Prudence, the younger of the missus Boggses. But
Speaker 1: but at this moment the Daguer type became a blur,
Speaker 1: and Miss Prudence found herself addressing space. The missus Bogses
Speaker 1: were irritated. They had never encountered any mysteries in Iowa.
Speaker 1: They began an impatient search, be behind doors and portieres,
Speaker 1: and even under sofas, though it was quite absurd to
Speaker 1: suppose that a lady, recognizing the merits of the carew Wedgewood,
Speaker 1: would so far forget herself as to crawl under a sofa.
Speaker 1: When they had given up all hope of discovering the intruder,
Speaker 1: they saw her standing at the far end of the
Speaker 1: drawing room, critically examining a water color marine. The elder
Speaker 1: miss Boggs started toward her with stern decision, but the
Speaker 1: little daguare type turned with a shadowy smile, became a blur,
Speaker 1: and an imperceptibility. Miss Boggs looked at Miss Prudence Bogs.
Speaker 1: If there were ghosts, said Miss Prudence Bogs, this would
Speaker 1: be the ghost of Lydia Caeru. The twilight was settling
Speaker 1: into blackness, and Miss Boggs nervously lit the gas while
Speaker 1: Miss Prudence ran for other teacups, preferring for reasons superfluous
Speaker 1: to mention not to drink out of the Carew China
Speaker 1: that evening. The next day, on taking up her embroidery frame,
Speaker 1: Miss Boggs found a number of old fashioned cross stitches
Speaker 1: added to her Kensington. Prudence, she knew, would never have
Speaker 1: degraded herself by taking a cross stitch, and the parlor
Speaker 1: maid was above taking such a liberty. Miss Boggs mentioned
Speaker 1: the incident that night at a dinner given by an
Speaker 1: ancient friend of the Carew's. Oh, that's the work of
Speaker 1: Lydia Carew without a doubt, cried the hostess. She visits
Speaker 1: every new family that moves to the house, but she
Speaker 1: never remains more than a week or two with anyone.
Speaker 1: It must be that she disapproves of them, suggested Miss Boggs.
Speaker 1: I think that's it, said the hostess. She doesn't like
Speaker 1: the china or their fiction. I hope she'll disapprove of us,
Speaker 1: added Miss Prudence. The hostess belonged to a very old
Speaker 1: Philadelphian family, and she shook her head. I should say
Speaker 1: it was a compliment for even the ghost of Lydia
Speaker 1: Carew to approve of one, she said severely. The next morning,
Speaker 1: when the sisters entered their drawing room, there were numerous
Speaker 1: evidences of an occupant. During their absence. The sofa pillows
Speaker 1: had been rearranged so that the effect of their grouping
Speaker 1: was less bizarre than that favor by the Western women.
Speaker 1: A horrid little Buddhist idol, with its eyes fixed on
Speaker 1: its abdomen, had been chastily hidden behind a Dresden shepherdess,
Speaker 1: as unfit for the scrutiny of polite eyes. And on
Speaker 1: the table where Miss Prudence did work in water colors
Speaker 1: after the fashion of the Impressionists, lay a prim and
Speaker 1: impossible composition representing a moss rose and a number of
Speaker 1: heart's ease, colored with that caution which modest spinster artists
Speaker 1: instinctively exercise. Oh there's no doubt it's the work of
Speaker 1: miss Lydia Carew, said Miss Prudence contemptuously. There's no mistaking
Speaker 1: the drawing of that rigid little rose. Don't you remember
Speaker 1: those reason bouquets framed among the pictures we got when
Speaker 1: the Careu pictures were sent to us. I gave some
Speaker 1: of them to an orphan asylum and burned up the rest. Hush,
Speaker 1: cried Miss Boggs, involuntarily. If she heard you, it would
Speaker 1: hurt her feelings terribly. Of course, I mean, and she blushed.
Speaker 1: It might hurt her feelings, But how perfectly ridiculous. It's impossible,
Speaker 1: Miss Prudence held up the sketch of the moss rows.
Speaker 1: That may be impossible in an artistic sense, but it
Speaker 1: is a palpable thing. Bosh, cried Miss Boggs, but protested
Speaker 1: Miss Prudence. How do you explain it? I don't, said
Speaker 1: Miss Boggs, and left the room. That evening, the sisters
Speaker 1: made a point of being in the drawing room before
Speaker 1: the dusk came on, and of lighting the gas at
Speaker 1: the first hint of twilight. They didn't believe in Miss
Speaker 1: Lydia Carew, but still they meant to be beforehand with her.
Speaker 1: They talked with unwonted vivacity, and in a louder tone
Speaker 1: than was their custom. But as they drank their tea,
Speaker 1: even their utmost verbosity could not make them oblivious to
Speaker 1: the fact that the perfume of sweet lavender was stealing
Speaker 1: insidiously through the room. They tacitly refused to recognize this
Speaker 1: odor and all that it indicated, when suddenly, with a
Speaker 1: sharp crash, one of the old Carew teacups fell from
Speaker 1: the tea table to the floor and was broken. The
Speaker 1: disaster was followed by what sounded like a sigh of
Speaker 1: pain and dismay. I didn't suppose miss Lydia Carew would
Speaker 1: ever be as awkward as that, cried the younger Miss Boggs. Petulantly,
Speaker 1: Prudence said her sister, with a stern accent. Please try
Speaker 1: not to be a fool. Your theory wouldn't be so bad,
Speaker 1: said Miss Prudence, half laughing and half crying if there
Speaker 1: were any sleeves to my dress. But as you see,
Speaker 1: there aren't. And then Miss Prudence had something as near
Speaker 1: hysterics as a healthy young woman in the West can have.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't think such a perfect lady as Lydia Carew,
Speaker 1: she ejaculated between her sobs, would make herself so disagreeable.
Speaker 1: You may talk about good breeding all you please, but
Speaker 1: I call such intrusion exceedingly bad taste. I have a
Speaker 1: horrible idea that she likes us and means to stay
Speaker 1: with us. She left those other people because she did
Speaker 1: not approve of their habits or their grammar. It would
Speaker 1: be just our luck to please her. Well. I like
Speaker 1: your egotism, said Miss Boggs. However, the view Miss Prudence
Speaker 1: took of the case appeared to be the right. One
Speaker 1: time went by, and Miss Lydia Carew still remained. When
Speaker 1: the ladies entered their drawing room, they would see the
Speaker 1: little lady like de Guerre type revolving itself into a
Speaker 1: blur before one of the family portraits, or they noticed
Speaker 1: that the yellow sofa cushion toward which she appeared to
Speaker 1: feel a peculiar antipathy, had been dropped behind the sofa
Speaker 1: upon the floor, or that one of Jane Austen's novels,
Speaker 1: which none of the family ever read, had been removed
Speaker 1: from the bookshelves and left open upon the table. I
Speaker 1: cannot be reconciled to it, complain Miss Boggs to Miss Prudence.
Speaker 1: I wish we had remained in Iowa, where we belong.
Speaker 1: Of course I don't believe in the thing, No sensible
Speaker 1: person would. But still I cannot become reconciled. But their
Speaker 1: liberation was to come, and in a most unexpected manner,
Speaker 1: a relative by marriage visited them from the west. He
Speaker 1: was a friendly man and had much to say, so
Speaker 1: he talked all through dinner, and afterward followed them ladies
Speaker 1: to the drawing room to finish his gossip. The gas
Speaker 1: in the room was turned very low, and as they entered,
Speaker 1: Miss Prudence caught sight of Miss Carew in company attire,
Speaker 1: sitting in upright propriety in a stiff backed chair at
Speaker 1: the extremity of the apartment. Miss Prudence had a sudden idea.
Speaker 1: We will not turn up the gas, she said, with
Speaker 1: an emphasis intended to convey private information to her sister.
Speaker 1: It will be more agreeable to sit here and talk
Speaker 1: in this soft light. Neither her brother nor the man
Speaker 1: from the west made any objection. Miss Boggs and Miss Prudence,
Speaker 1: clasping each other's hands, divided their attention between their corporeal
Speaker 1: and their incorporeal guests. Miss Boggs was confident that her
Speaker 1: sister had an idea and was willing to await its development.
Speaker 1: As the guest from Ayleway spoke, Miss Carew bent a
Speaker 1: politely attentive vear to what he said. Ever since Richard's
Speaker 1: took sick that time, he said briskly, it seemed like
Speaker 1: his shared We had all responsibility. The missus Boggs saw
Speaker 1: the Daguerre type put up her shadowy head with a
Speaker 1: movement of doubt and apprehension. The fact that the matter
Speaker 1: was Richards didn't seem to scarce to get on the
Speaker 1: way he might have been expected to. At this conscienceless
Speaker 1: split of the infinitive and misplacing of the preposition, Miss
Speaker 1: Carew arose trembling perceptibly. I saw it wasn't no use
Speaker 1: for him to count on a quick recovery. The missus
Speaker 1: Boggs lost the rest of the sentence, for at the
Speaker 1: utterance of the double negative, Miss Lydia Carew had flashed out,
Speaker 1: not in a blur, but with mortal haste, as when
Speaker 1: life goes out at a pistol shot. The man from
Speaker 1: the West wondered why Miss Prudence should have cried at
Speaker 1: so pathetic a part of his story. Thank Goodness, and
Speaker 1: their brother was amazed to see Miss Boggs kiss Miss
Speaker 1: Prudence with passion and energy. It was the end. Miss
Speaker 1: Carew returned no more. End of a Grammatical Ghost by
Speaker 1: Elliot Wilkinson, Pete