Speaker 1: Hello, I'm Megan and I'm Danielle, and welcome to our
Speaker 1: podcast Off the Trails, where we will be sharing stories
Speaker 1: of mystery and misadventure that all take place in the outdoors.
Speaker 2: In this week will Megan's turn to share a story
Speaker 2: with us.
Speaker 3: Good afternoon today.
Speaker 1: Good afternoon, it is a rainy Sunday. It is kind
Speaker 1: of a nice day, though it looks pretty bad out.
Speaker 3: I mean, I guess my good day is probably different
Speaker 3: than a lot of other people's nice weather day.
Speaker 1: You love the gloom the gloom day? All right. Well,
Speaker 1: I don't think we really have any business other than
Speaker 1: I know we posted it on Instagram, but just for
Speaker 1: any listeners who don't follow us on there, this episode
Speaker 1: is coming out on Monday, December eleventh, and then we
Speaker 1: will have the last twenty twenty three episode coming out
Speaker 1: on Monday December eighteenth, and then we will be taking
Speaker 1: the week off for Christmas, and we'll be back on Monday,
Speaker 1: January first.
Speaker 3: That's right, twenty twenty four, right around the corner.
Speaker 1: I know, it's crazy, it's crazy that we're already coming
Speaker 1: to the end of twenty twenty three, but that's our schedule,
Speaker 1: so everyone knows and Yeah.
Speaker 3: All right, Well I am excited for today's story.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this one, I will say this one was a
Speaker 1: lot not that any of them aren't, but the sort
Speaker 1: of the topic of this one is a bit heavy. Again,
Speaker 1: not that many of them aren't, but I feel like
Speaker 1: you'll understand why as it unfolds. But I definitely found
Speaker 1: myself tearing up sometimes just because it just kind of
Speaker 1: hits you, right, Certain stories just sort of hit you,
Speaker 1: and this and I got it a little emotional.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. I think sometimes
Speaker 3: obviously a lot of the topics and stories we read
Speaker 3: and talk about and share, they're they're heavy, but for
Speaker 3: whatever reason, certain ones just hit you harder than others,
Speaker 3: for whatever reason. And I don't always know which ones
Speaker 3: are going to be those super sad ones or the
Speaker 3: ones that like stick with you longer than others exactly.
Speaker 1: And you wouldn't really expect that because this one is
Speaker 1: a survival so it's supposed to be everything is great,
Speaker 1: everything's good.
Speaker 3: But so it's interesting though, because other people have said
Speaker 3: that the survival stories sometimes are harder for them to
Speaker 3: listen to. I think because maybe in part we do
Speaker 3: go into some more details that usually with a death episode,
Speaker 3: we discuss more high level, but with some of the
Speaker 3: survival stories, obviously we have the gory details as told
Speaker 3: by the person firsthand. So maybe that's in part why
Speaker 3: they're sometimes a little bit harder to digest.
Speaker 1: I don't know, Yeah, it's or you know, with survival ones,
Speaker 1: we none of us who are listening can relate to
Speaker 1: the death episodes or the disappearance episodes. However, with survival ones,
Speaker 1: there's someone that's still able to tell a story, and
Speaker 1: maybe sometimes parts of those stories are too relatable.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's fair.
Speaker 1: So I guess without further ado, are you ready?
Speaker 3: I am ready?
Speaker 1: Okay. I want to start this off with a disclaimer
Speaker 1: because this story contains content about suicide, and if you're
Speaker 1: thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one,
Speaker 1: or with like emotional support, The nine to eight to
Speaker 1: eight Lifeline network is available twenty four to seven across
Speaker 1: the United States. When Pam Bales, a volunteer with New
Speaker 1: Hampshire's pemical was Wassit Search and Rescue Team, planned a
Speaker 1: solo recreational hike up Mount Washington in twenty ten, she
Speaker 1: had never suspected it would become the most unforgettable rescue
Speaker 1: of her career, one that would cement her legacy and
Speaker 1: search and rescue for years to come. And I just
Speaker 1: want to ask, because I always do ask you, have
Speaker 1: you does this sound familiar to you? Yet?
Speaker 3: Not yet?
Speaker 1: Okay? At the time of the event we're covering today,
Speaker 1: Pam was living in Thornton, a town in the White
Speaker 1: Mountains of New Hampshire. Here, she was a volunteer with
Speaker 1: the local Search and Rescue agency for thirteen years. But
Speaker 1: Pam hadn't always lived in New Hampshire. Pam's mother was
Speaker 1: from Newton, Massachusetts, where she would take excursions up to
Speaker 1: the White Mountains to go hiking. When Pam was born,
Speaker 1: they were living in California, but relocated to New Hampshire
Speaker 1: while Pam was still a child. Her mother was a
Speaker 1: secretary for the Appalachian Mountain Club, and Pam followed in
Speaker 1: her mother's footsteps with an abiding love for the mountains.
Speaker 1: She would spend as much time there as possible. It
Speaker 1: was later in life when a friend suggested that with
Speaker 1: her nursing background, which we don't really have a lot
Speaker 1: of detail about her nursing background, just that she had
Speaker 1: it so, combining that and her love for hiking, that
Speaker 1: she should consider volunteering with the Search and Rescue Team
Speaker 1: in the White Mountains. And Pam thought it was a
Speaker 1: great idea and she found her calling. But it was
Speaker 1: on the fateful day of October seventeenth, twenty ten, when
Speaker 1: Pam would unexpectedly put all her skills to the test.
Speaker 1: Pam had been looking for a weather window to practice
Speaker 1: a training hike in the area her SAR team operated in.
Speaker 1: She wanted them to practice with heavier packs on a
Speaker 1: more steep and challenging route, and she thought Mount Washington
Speaker 1: would be a great way to engage and refine these skills.
Speaker 1: So she was sort of doing a dry run of
Speaker 1: this so that she could come back to her team
Speaker 1: and be like, guys, let's do this. This would be great,
Speaker 1: a great training exercise for Okay.
Speaker 3: So, so Pam was going to take the route herself
Speaker 3: and then, assuming that made sense, to take the full
Speaker 3: team another time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it certainly implied that and even clearly stated
Speaker 1: I should say that she was familiar with this mountain
Speaker 1: and this hiking route. Okay, but she just wanted to
Speaker 1: do it again and essentially just come back to her
Speaker 1: team and be like, Yeah, let's do this. I think
Speaker 1: this would be really beneficial for us. Okay, So a
Speaker 1: little bit about Mount Washington, and I know we've already
Speaker 1: discussed it in an earlier episode, but just some bare
Speaker 1: bones facts about it. Standing at six thousand, two hundred
Speaker 1: and eighty eight feet, it is the highest peak in
Speaker 1: the northeastern United States and is located in the Presidential
Speaker 1: Range of the White Mountains of New Hampshire. It is
Speaker 1: considered to have the world's worst weather as a result
Speaker 1: of three separate weather systems that converge over the top
Speaker 1: of it. The lowest temperature ever recorded is negative fifty
Speaker 1: degrees fahrenheit and the strongest wind reported is two hundred
Speaker 1: and thirty one miles per hour on April twelfth, nineteen
Speaker 1: thirty four. Mount Washington sees approximately two hundred and eighty
Speaker 1: thousand visitors per year, and there have been one hundred
Speaker 1: and six one reported deaths since eighteen forty nine. Back
Speaker 1: to October seventeenth. The forecast for the higher elevation that
Speaker 1: day was as follows. In the clouds with a slight
Speaker 1: chance of showers, highs in the upper twenties, wind chills
Speaker 1: zero to ten wins northwest at fifty to seventy miles
Speaker 1: an hour, increasing to sixty to eighty with higher gusts,
Speaker 1: and it was described as full on winter at the
Speaker 1: summit by the Mount Washington Observatory.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would also classify that as full on winter.
Speaker 3: That's no joke.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And obviously one of the big misconceptions about this mountain,
Speaker 1: if you're not familiar with it, is that at the
Speaker 1: base where we're all just living about here, at the
Speaker 1: same elevation as the base, it seems pretty mild, and
Speaker 1: the higher us end it, that weather can change drastically
Speaker 1: and you can very quickly find yourself unprepared.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, absolutely. The weather is it's almost like a
Speaker 3: different a different continent. Like you start making your way
Speaker 3: up the mountain and the weather is completely different. And
Speaker 3: I think even driving through the mountains on either side,
Speaker 3: the weather can be completely different. And then you're getting
Speaker 3: through like Franconia Notch or one of the other notches
Speaker 3: up in the mountains and it's completely different. So you
Speaker 3: really have to take that into consideration that, yeah, this
Speaker 3: is what the forecast is, but it's probably not accurate
Speaker 3: for the top of Mount Washington or along the along
Speaker 3: the route.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly like you know, you could be local to
Speaker 1: it and be like, oh, this looks like a great
Speaker 1: day for a and sure it is at the base right.
Speaker 1: Pam parked at the trail head that morning and set
Speaker 1: out on what she planned to be a nine mile
Speaker 1: loop that would take approximately six hours. Her root would
Speaker 1: take her up the Jewel Trail, which runs along the
Speaker 1: west side of the mountain, and that would bring her
Speaker 1: to Gulf Side Trail, which would take her up to
Speaker 1: the summit. On her way back down, she would take
Speaker 1: Crawford Path down to the Lakes of the Clouds Hut,
Speaker 1: down Amanusic Ravine Trail, and back to the parking lot,
Speaker 1: which would make it a loop instead of going out
Speaker 1: and back on just the Jewel Trail. Okay, And given
Speaker 1: her experience and knowledge of the mountains and knowing the
Speaker 1: erratic weather of Mount Washington, she had a backup plan,
Speaker 1: as everyone should. If the conditions become too risky. She
Speaker 1: would either turn around on the Jewel Trail and get
Speaker 1: back to her car from there, or she would cross
Speaker 1: west Side Trail, which was at about fifty six hundred
Speaker 1: feet elevation, and that would bring her own over to
Speaker 1: Crawford Path, which would then bring her to Aminusik Ravine
Speaker 1: Trail and back to the parking lot. So essentially, instead
Speaker 1: of getting all the way up to the summit, she'd
Speaker 1: be able to cut across a little bit lower on
Speaker 1: the west side trail. And her practice was always to
Speaker 1: leave a detailed itinerary on her dashboard as well as
Speaker 1: a copy with two of her teammates from the Pemica
Speaker 1: Wasset Valley Search and Rescue Team.
Speaker 3: So that's actually really smart to leave her itinerary in her.
Speaker 1: Car, right, I thought of that too. I thought that
Speaker 1: was a really good takeaway.
Speaker 3: Because obviously, you know, she told people where she was going,
Speaker 3: and ideally, if somebody doesn't return, your person, whoever you're told,
Speaker 3: is going to report you missing. But if your car
Speaker 3: is there overnight or for a couple of days, having
Speaker 3: that information on your dashboard for someone who's just peeking
Speaker 3: inside your car, that's really helpful.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because of course there's going to be a little
Speaker 1: bit of a lag from what you're doing in real
Speaker 1: time to someone off site figuring out where you're at
Speaker 1: in relation to where you're supposed to be at, Like
Speaker 1: based on your itinerary, but someone like who is also
Speaker 1: in the parking lot, you know, someone goes up and
Speaker 1: comes down and says that car is still here. And
Speaker 1: I didn't see anyone, and they could just walk over
Speaker 1: to it. And if they saw the itinerary and there
Speaker 1: was a red flag just as a result of it
Speaker 1: being like I'm supposed to be back at four pm
Speaker 1: and it's six pm and you know they're not back,
Speaker 1: that might be enough to tip them off to contact
Speaker 1: you know, local police or local rangers or anyone who
Speaker 1: could look further into it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's smart.
Speaker 1: So though there was snow at the trailhead, the sun
Speaker 1: was shining and the air was mild. Pam made a
Speaker 1: point to bring extra layers of clith, knowing how drastically
Speaker 1: different the weather at the base is from the summit.
Speaker 1: At this point, she was wearing a sports spra and
Speaker 1: hiking pants, and she had noticed pretty early on that
Speaker 1: the Cog Railway, which usually brings passengers all the way
Speaker 1: up to the summit, was stopping and turning around at
Speaker 1: an area called Jacob's Ladder, which is at about forty
Speaker 1: seven hundred feet elevation.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, can I enter it for a second go
Speaker 3: for it. What timer year was this October? I can't remember.
Speaker 1: October seventeenth, Okay, So them turning around at Jacob's ladder
Speaker 1: as opposed to going to the summit was most likely
Speaker 1: a result of limited visibility and inclement weather higher up.
Speaker 1: So the beginning of the hike was overall pretty pleasant
Speaker 1: and uneventful, as she suspected it would be. Her first
Speaker 1: selfie representing this stage of the hike was taken at
Speaker 1: around eight thirty am. And there are a few selfies
Speaker 1: that she takes along the way, and I'll be posting
Speaker 1: those with the episode. Ok And it's really kind of
Speaker 1: interesting to see how she starts based on her attire
Speaker 1: and the sky and you know, the background and foreground,
Speaker 1: and how it changes in you know, what appears to
Speaker 1: be pretty quickly. About thirty minutes later, around nine am,
Speaker 1: she was getting at the mile and a half mark
Speaker 1: up the trail and into the colder weather. She added
Speaker 1: a quarter zip, long sleeve and gloves and took another selfie.
Speaker 1: There doesn't seem to be the same sunlight as seen
Speaker 1: in the first photo lower on the trail, and there's
Speaker 1: more snow on the ground and piled on the trees
Speaker 1: around her. She was heading into temperatures about twenty four
Speaker 1: degrees fahrenheit and fog with fifty mile an hour winds.
Speaker 1: But Pam wasn't deterred quite yet, as she was familiar
Speaker 1: with this trail and was comfortable proceeding. So long as
Speaker 1: she could still see her own hands in front of
Speaker 1: her face, she'd be able to safely navigate the route.
Speaker 1: Swap that word, I don't know why I do that?
Speaker 1: Why do I change how I say it? She'd be
Speaker 1: able to safely navigate the root in inclement weather, but
Speaker 1: she also knew when to call it quits and turn
Speaker 1: around if the conditions became too risky, which she really
Speaker 1: seemed to stress that and wanted to reiterate that the
Speaker 1: summit can wait, Your height can wait. If there is
Speaker 1: anything that's making you uncomfortable about it, or it's starting
Speaker 1: to seem sketchy, or you're looking higher off the mountain
Speaker 1: and that weather is not looking great, just turn around,
Speaker 1: turn around, come back another day.
Speaker 3: It's not worth it, absolutely, it's literally not worth your life.
Speaker 3: And maybe someday we can get my friend Britt to
Speaker 3: share her Mount Washington story, because she did end up
Speaker 3: turning around on a day that the weather was just
Speaker 3: not safe. So she did have to make that decision
Speaker 3: that she's like, you know what, I'm not gonna sum
Speaker 3: it today and it's gonna have to be another day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And of course it sucks because you plan for it.
Speaker 1: You there's a lot of preparation that goes into it.
Speaker 1: You know, even if you have to go as far
Speaker 1: as to take a day off work or or whatever
Speaker 1: you're you're rearranging to make this happen, it's still not
Speaker 1: worth the risk if anything is telling you not to
Speaker 1: go forward with it. And I would actually be very
Speaker 1: interested having Britt on for an episode because I know
Speaker 1: she's an avid hiker and she's done like I know,
Speaker 1: she's done all the four thousand footers right mm hm
Speaker 1: she has, So I bet she'd have a lot of
Speaker 1: really good stories and some you know, helpful tips for
Speaker 1: people hiking. And she's very familiar with the White Mountain,
Speaker 1: so you know, I think that'd be a great idea. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: are you listening, Britt, we're volunteering.
Speaker 3: You right when you hear this, let me know.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Ten thirty am, Pam had gotten above tree line
Speaker 1: and was closing in on the junction of Jewel Trail
Speaker 1: and Gulf Side Trail, and I'm going to be mentioning
Speaker 1: a few trails and their relation to each other and
Speaker 1: on the mountain, and I know, listening to it it
Speaker 1: might not make sense, But I do have a visual
Speaker 1: that I'll be posting with the episode. Like visual aids
Speaker 1: helped me a lot, Like you could explain something to
Speaker 1: me all day and I can't figure it out, but
Speaker 1: we will have like a map that kind of helps
Speaker 1: lay out these areas that we'll be talking about. So
Speaker 1: at ten thirty am, Pam had gotten above tree line
Speaker 1: and was closing in on the junction of Jewel Trail
Speaker 1: and Gulf Side Trail. At this point, she had added
Speaker 1: a jacket, goggles, and heavier mittens to protect herself from
Speaker 1: the harsher weather, which included dense fog and high winds.
Speaker 1: She was contemplating ending her hike early and following her
Speaker 1: Plan B to get back down on the mountain safely
Speaker 1: for going the summit. On this hike. The extreme weather
Speaker 1: and limited visibility told Pam that pushing for the summit
Speaker 1: was not worth the risk. But it was also around
Speaker 1: this time that she noticed a set of footprints in
Speaker 1: the snow, and though she had seen them along her hike,
Speaker 1: she hadn't previously thought much of them, given this was
Speaker 1: a public trail on a popular mountain, so it's not
Speaker 1: unreasonable to see other tracks. But as she took a
Speaker 1: closer look at them, she realized that these ones were different.
Speaker 1: They weren't hiking boots, but they looked like sneaker prints
Speaker 1: with no signs of traction, and that someone wildly unprepared
Speaker 1: for this mountain was on this mountain and in this weather.
Speaker 1: And I think that just goes to show her search
Speaker 1: and rescue brain always being on, because just looking at footprints,
Speaker 1: she's like assessing them. She's like, Okay, hold on, I've
Speaker 1: seen the singular set of prints. I haven't seen any
Speaker 1: coming back down. Haven't come across this person. And wait
Speaker 1: a second, there's no traction, there's no tread, there's sneakers.
Speaker 3: I mean, just think about when you're if you're wearing
Speaker 3: sneakers in a couple inches of snow, your feet get
Speaker 3: wet almost immediately.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and this is not like easy terrain either. No,
Speaker 1: So that immediately raised a unalarm for her. She's like, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's not good. That's not someone's being very irresponsible here.
Speaker 1: So it was now around eleven am and Pam, even
Speaker 1: with all the proper gear and layers, was getting cold
Speaker 1: and knew that attempting to summit just wouldn't be safe.
Speaker 1: And it was at this point that I believe Pam
Speaker 1: is along the Gulf Side Trail, which runs parallel with
Speaker 1: Mount Clay Loop. She's above the Jewel and Gulf Side junction,
Speaker 1: but she's below the Gulf Side and West Side junction.
Speaker 1: She decided to add even more layers, putting an additional
Speaker 1: shirt on under her jacket and adding a face mask.
Speaker 1: She was sitting by a cairn, which is a stack
Speaker 1: of rocks, and she decided to make her way back
Speaker 1: down the mountain via west Side Trail. The clouds and
Speaker 1: fog created a zero visibility scenario, and now she was
Speaker 1: dealing with sleep too. The only thing keeping her on
Speaker 1: the trail though, was the footprints, like something just wasn't
Speaker 1: right about them, and she just couldn't let it go,
Speaker 1: and she was focusing on trying to get to the
Speaker 1: next cairn so that she knew that she was still
Speaker 1: on trail and headed in the right direction. When she
Speaker 1: noticed the tracks took a hard left off trail, and
Speaker 1: concerned with this person's misdirection, the harsh weather conditions, the
Speaker 1: impending darkness, and heading toward an area called the Great Gulf,
Speaker 1: Pam started yelling for the person and continuing to yell
Speaker 1: and blow her whistle. Pam was hoping to hear someone
Speaker 1: call back out to her, but she didn't. She was
Speaker 1: about point three miles from the Jeweling Gulf Side junction
Speaker 1: and one mile from the Gulf Side and West Side junction,
Speaker 1: either of which would take her back to safety. But
Speaker 1: someone was out here and she wasn't letting that go.
Speaker 1: She shifted her direction and started walking toward the uncertainty
Speaker 1: of the tracks ahead, which were heading in the direction
Speaker 1: of an exposed ridge line overlooking the Great Gulf. Winds
Speaker 1: were fifty miles an hour at this point, and she
Speaker 1: had on micro spikes, but unpacked wind swept snow between
Speaker 1: boulders created a risk for stepping too hard and sustaining
Speaker 1: a foot injury, an injury she could not afford if
Speaker 1: she wanted to get back down the mountain safely. Pam
Speaker 1: followed the tracks for about twenty to thirty more yards
Speaker 1: when she saw a man sitting between some boulders off
Speaker 1: Clay Loop Trail. Pam approached and greeted him, caught off
Speaker 1: guard by what she had stumbled upon. A man wearing
Speaker 1: tennis shoes. Shorts I did see, someone said shorts. One
Speaker 1: article said shorts, and one said like light pants either way,
Speaker 1: not mountain attire, not the right pants, not the right pants,
Speaker 1: not the right bottoms, regardless of which one. It was
Speaker 1: a light jacket and fingerless gloves, because fingerless gloves are
Speaker 1: you know, as long as your palms are warm, you're
Speaker 1: no worries about your fingers.
Speaker 3: The fingerless gloves are so strange to me because when
Speaker 3: I'm outside, it's not my palms that are ever getting cold.
Speaker 1: Really, yeah, your palms are fine. Your little fingers that
Speaker 1: are cold.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't get it. Even right now as we're talking,
Speaker 3: I'm now like holding my like my faux cold fingers.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I can see you just like clutching them and
Speaker 1: like warming them up, rubbing them against each other. Though
Speaker 1: he looked at her, he didn't speak to her, and
Speaker 1: there was like a sheen to his face indicating a
Speaker 1: lack of blood circulation, and his clothes were frozen. The
Speaker 1: jacket like the windbreaker he had on was crunching because
Speaker 1: it had a layer of ice on it, and so
Speaker 1: anytime he moved any small movement, it was just crunching
Speaker 1: because it was just frozen over. He was severely hypothermic,
Speaker 1: and it was at this moment that Pam knew this
Speaker 1: had just become a rescue mission. Pam recalled that her
Speaker 1: chief had always told her Star Team, never put yourself
Speaker 1: in a situation that you could also become a victim. Luckily,
Speaker 1: though she had extra clothes in her pack, she kept
Speaker 1: her own layers on, but she was able to remove
Speaker 1: his cold and wet clothing and dress him in her
Speaker 1: extra clothes that were dry and more suitable for the
Speaker 1: cold weather. And although he wasn't helping her, he wasn't
Speaker 1: resisting her efforts either. She had tried talking to him,
Speaker 1: finding out who he was and what he was doing there,
Speaker 1: but he just like wouldn't respond to her. And the
Speaker 1: first person that sort of came to mind was her friend,
Speaker 1: and I believe also one of her fellow volunteers, this
Speaker 1: man named John, And so she just started calling this
Speaker 1: man John, and so she just started addressing him. She's like, John,
Speaker 1: what are we doing? Here, we gotta go like you
Speaker 1: are hypothermic. This is very dangerous. We need to get
Speaker 1: back down the mountain.
Speaker 3: It's funny that when you said that, she started calling
Speaker 3: for somebody and using her whistle. I was thinking, how
Speaker 3: it must be so strange. She'd be calling for somebody
Speaker 3: who it is a specific person that you're looking for,
Speaker 3: but you don't know who they are.
Speaker 1: So how do you address them?
Speaker 3: Right? Are you just yelling hello? Like what? I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't know what I would use to call for
Speaker 3: this unknown person? Right?
Speaker 1: This person that you know is here, but you don't
Speaker 1: know the first thing about them. You don't know if
Speaker 1: you're calling for a man or a woman, or like
Speaker 1: the name to refer to them by, Like yeah, So
Speaker 1: she's just like John, you're John. Okay, all right, John,
Speaker 1: let's do this. So she started talking to him in
Speaker 1: what would mostly be a one sided conversation, and with
Speaker 1: the new clothes on, she put him in a bivvy sack, which,
Speaker 1: for anyone who's unfamiliar, is a collapsible bag made of
Speaker 1: weather proof fabric that is used to provide shelter, usually
Speaker 1: for a single person. She propped him against herself. I
Speaker 1: assume to hopefully, you know, use some of her body
Speaker 1: heat to thaw him out, if you will, And she
Speaker 1: had some little heating pads that she was trying to
Speaker 1: strategically place on him as well, just to try and
Speaker 1: get him as warm as possible and as quickly as
Speaker 1: possible while they're still exposed to these really bad elements.
Speaker 1: The weather was continuing to get worse. The wind was stronger,
Speaker 1: and they could not stay where they were by that boulder.
Speaker 1: So about an hour after finding John, changing him and
Speaker 1: trying to warm him up, she slowly started to liven
Speaker 1: him up a bit. Though he was still mostly despondent,
Speaker 1: he at least seemed a bit more aware of his
Speaker 1: surroundings in what was going on, but he still wasn't
Speaker 1: saying anything to her. She urged him to get up
Speaker 1: and told him they needed to start moving. He was slow,
Speaker 1: but he did start following her, as reluctant as he
Speaker 1: may have seemed to do so. Now Pam had to
Speaker 1: get them back down the mountain, and she was working
Speaker 1: against wind and displaced snow as a result of the
Speaker 1: strong winds, and if it did start snowing, they risked
Speaker 1: losing the trail, so with low visibility, Pam was no
Speaker 1: longer able to see her own footprints from coming to
Speaker 1: find John, but she was able to see the prints
Speaker 1: from her poles, from her trekking poles. So they just
Speaker 1: had just these tiny like pinholes in the snow and
Speaker 1: she saw those through her goggles like and was able
Speaker 1: to follow those, which is really impressive, Pam.
Speaker 3: I am envious of your eyesight.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like this, this woman is incredible. So John was
Speaker 1: keeping behind Pam and he was moving slowly, but at
Speaker 1: least he was moving, and they were, you know, trudging ahead.
Speaker 1: But when they got back to the junction of Gulf
Speaker 1: Side Trail and Jewel Trail around two pm, with only
Speaker 1: like three more hours of sunlight, he just shut down.
Speaker 1: He I don't know if he stumbled in the snow
Speaker 1: or intentionally fell in the snow, but he just fell
Speaker 1: and stayed there. And he's like, leave, just go leave
Speaker 1: me here, go go you go, and She's like absolutely not,
Speaker 1: get up and let's go, John, I'm not doing this,
Speaker 1: and she it was really sweet. She was almost like
Speaker 1: lecturing him, like I need you to keep going, we
Speaker 1: need to get we both need to get down, and
Speaker 1: he sort of just begrudgingly got back up. I just
Speaker 1: picture like.
Speaker 3: Picture like a toddler kind of having a meltdown, right exactly,
Speaker 3: And You're like, I don't think so, John up, now,
Speaker 3: let's go.
Speaker 1: So he did get back up, and he started following her.
Speaker 1: And to keep herself focused and to try to keep
Speaker 1: John's attention, because it's not like he was keeping a
Speaker 1: conversation with her or anything, she started singing Elvis songs.
Speaker 3: I mean, why not.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So she was singing for herself fan for him,
Speaker 1: and she used her headlamp to stay on the trail
Speaker 1: because the trees, like the canopy was just kind of
Speaker 1: too thick to allow a whole lot of sunlight. Any
Speaker 1: little bit of sunlight there was was not breaking through
Speaker 1: those trees. So now she's also fighting against, you know,
Speaker 1: kind of this darkness. She reassured John that he was
Speaker 1: doing great, and she just continued singing. She was concerned
Speaker 1: by the snow coverage that was potentially hiding those boulders underneath,
Speaker 1: and he didn't have appropriate footwear for that track, and
Speaker 1: even that doesn't always save someone from injury as a
Speaker 1: result of misstepping with the best of hiking boots. So
Speaker 1: what she would do, is which I think is again
Speaker 1: just like Pam's incredible. Again, So she was risking you
Speaker 1: know these you know, kind of stepping through the snow
Speaker 1: into what could have been boulders underneath the snow, but
Speaker 1: she was stomping into it to sort of pack it
Speaker 1: down to give him a safer placement for each of
Speaker 1: his steps. I could not imagine what was going through like,
Speaker 1: you know, her mind while she's trying to stay focused
Speaker 1: on not only getting herself down, but getting this man
Speaker 1: down who doesn't seem like he really wants to cooperate
Speaker 1: with her, right, and she doesn't know what's going on.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's tough, where he's like literally has already said
Speaker 3: like don't worry about it.
Speaker 1: Just leave me here, right, And her main focus is
Speaker 1: just like I don't think this guy realizes how dangerous
Speaker 1: it is here. And yeah, so I can't imagine just
Speaker 1: what was going on during this whole thing while also
Speaker 1: combating the weather and just the descent down the mountain,
Speaker 1: which is you know, challenging in its own right. Eventually,
Speaker 1: they did make their way to more solid ground and
Speaker 1: below tree line, which is at about forty four hundred feet,
Speaker 1: though still being mostly quiet, John seemed to start giving
Speaker 1: little bits of information. He had borrowed a car. He
Speaker 1: wanted to go on a last hike before the big season,
Speaker 1: for the big season. What does that mean?
Speaker 3: I don't know, big big winter.
Speaker 1: Didn't Yeah? Did I like forget a word there?
Speaker 3: I kind of like, it's the big season, the big season.
Speaker 1: Okay. Well, Pam asked why he was so unprepared regarding
Speaker 1: the weather in his gear, and he just sort of
Speaker 1: shrugged her off. And at this point they have about
Speaker 1: three miles left.
Speaker 3: Excuse me, sir, why are you unprepared?
Speaker 1: Right? And he's like, huh whoops. Yeah, so just very
Speaker 1: dismissive of her and her concerns for him and her
Speaker 1: questions for him, and yeah, he was just like ah,
Speaker 1: not really giving her a whole lot to work with.
Speaker 1: So around six p they finally got back to the
Speaker 1: parking lot, which was otherwise empty. Pam and John's descent
Speaker 1: should have taken approximately two hours, but it took them
Speaker 1: closer to six hours. Back at John's car, Pam noticed
Speaker 1: it was empty of any supplies you would expect someone
Speaker 1: to have either on their person or in their vehicle
Speaker 1: for a hike like that. So there was no sustenance, like,
Speaker 1: no food, no water, He didn't have dry clothes or
Speaker 1: anything of the like. And she's like, why is the
Speaker 1: car empty? Why did you go up there in just
Speaker 1: very light attire? Like what are you doing? So what
Speaker 1: she did was she actually took his clothes and put them,
Speaker 1: I believe, like on the car heater to try to
Speaker 1: warm them up. And while his clothes were drying, she
Speaker 1: gave him some food from her own supply, and you know,
Speaker 1: after the after his clothes dried, she took hers back,
Speaker 1: he changed back into his, and she's like, okay, you know,
Speaker 1: like we both got to get home, like, please drive safe.
Speaker 1: She wished him well, and he just sort of dismissively
Speaker 1: thanked her and drove off. So Pam was in a
Speaker 1: bit of disbelief as to what just happened. As the
Speaker 1: adrenaline of the whole day started to wear off, and
Speaker 1: Pam sort of like was starting to try to process
Speaker 1: it all, she asked no one in particular, what the
Speaker 1: fuck just happened? She said that out loud to an
Speaker 1: empty parking lot. And this woman is like the cutest,
Speaker 1: sweetest woman who you can tell. She's someone who barely
Speaker 1: swears but when she does, she's like, oh, I shouldn't.
Speaker 3: Have said that, but I think that is exactly what
Speaker 3: I've been thinking this whole time. That, right, this person
Speaker 3: was just I mean, I know that hypothermia and the
Speaker 3: cold can impact your cognitive.
Speaker 1: Processing, it can disorient you, right, So I.
Speaker 3: Can understand beginning where he's not conversing with her, very
Speaker 3: short answers, you know, doesn't really have an answer for
Speaker 3: things like I can. I can see that. But at
Speaker 3: the point when you get back to the car and
Speaker 3: this woman has literally brought you down safely, you wore
Speaker 3: her clothes, she's given you food, water, whatever, and then
Speaker 3: you're just like, hey, cool, thanks.
Speaker 1: Right, And as you said, you've been thinking, and even
Speaker 1: her self, who's she's you know, she's like, what the
Speaker 1: fuck was that? And she would continue asking herself this
Speaker 1: for a week. So when Pam got home that night,
Speaker 1: she emailed her friend John and she was just detailing
Speaker 1: the entire surreal situation and the day's events, and as
Speaker 1: her colleagues caught wind of it, she was just inundated
Speaker 1: with questions from them asking like whoa like did you
Speaker 1: were you prepared for that? Like what kind of like
Speaker 1: takeaways could you give us, like what did you take
Speaker 1: from that that like we could maybe learn from in
Speaker 1: case like we come across this again, like someone who
Speaker 1: you know isn't really talking to you. They're he's he's
Speaker 1: not cooperative, but I suppose he's compliant with her efforts.
Speaker 1: So it was just such a strange situation to navigate
Speaker 1: because I would assume that, you know, up to this point,
Speaker 1: you would think like ten out of ten people that
Speaker 1: you're rescuing are just so grateful for it, and they
Speaker 1: couldn't get down the mountain fast enough with you, And
Speaker 1: you know, this was a completely different situation for her
Speaker 1: and different experience and reaction to the rescue.
Speaker 3: He did not the way you have described it. He
Speaker 3: was like disinterested in being rescued, all right, right, He
Speaker 3: was like, ugh, I guess I'm not really into it,
Speaker 3: but I.
Speaker 1: Guess exactly exactly right. And while Pam may have been
Speaker 1: prepared herself and was able to successfully assist someone down
Speaker 1: the mountain, one question just really bothered her. Why was
Speaker 1: John up there in the first place, and what would
Speaker 1: lead someone to put themselves in a situation like that. Okay, honestly,
Speaker 1: I'm going to stop right there. Because I'm already getting
Speaker 1: teary eyed. I'm really about to cry. So the Sunday
Speaker 1: following the rescue, Pam would get her answer, and it
Speaker 1: was nothing she could have prepared herself for. The team
Speaker 1: received an email from their chief Alan Clark stating he
Speaker 1: received a letter postmarked from Portland, Maine, and at this point,
Speaker 1: I'm going to have Andrew read the letter because I've
Speaker 1: been sort of trying to brace myself to be able
Speaker 1: to get through it, but I'm already getting a little
Speaker 1: teary eyed. It just like, no way, I can't do it.
Speaker 1: And I know, right I'll just I know I'm going
Speaker 1: to start crying if I tried to. I can already
Speaker 1: feel my voice getting shaky. So he's going to come
Speaker 1: in and read the read the letter.
Speaker 3: It's almost like having a voice actor.
Speaker 1: It is, and I suppose it's fitting. It's a man
Speaker 1: reading a letter from a man. Sorry for doing this
Speaker 1: to you. I'm like just getting reallyd.
Speaker 4: I hope this reaches the right group of rescuers. This
Speaker 4: is hard to do, but must try. Part of my therapy.
Speaker 4: I want to remain anonymous, but I was called John
Speaker 4: on Sunday, October seventeenth, I went my favorite trail jewel
Speaker 4: to end my life, whether it was to be bad,
Speaker 4: thought no one else would be there. I was just
Speaker 4: to go quickly. Next thing I knew, this lady was
Speaker 4: talking to me, changing my clothes, talking to me, giving
Speaker 4: me food, talking to me, making me warmer. And she
Speaker 4: just kept talking and calling me John, and I let her.
Speaker 4: Finally learned her name was Pam. Conditions were horrible, and
Speaker 4: I said to leave me get going, but she wouldn't
Speaker 4: got me up, had me stay right behind her, still talking.
Speaker 4: I followed, but I did think about running off. She
Speaker 4: couldn't see me. I only wanted to take my life,
Speaker 4: not anybody else's, and I think she would have tried
Speaker 4: to find me the entire time. She treated him with care, compassion, authority, confidence,
Speaker 4: and the impression that I mattered. With all that that's
Speaker 4: been going wrong in my life. I didn't matter to me,
Speaker 4: but I did to Pam. She probably thought I was
Speaker 4: the stupidest hiker, dressed like I was. But I was
Speaker 4: never put down in any way chewed out. Yes, in
Speaker 4: a kind of way. Maybe I wasn't meant to die,
Speaker 4: yet I somehow still mattered in life. I became very
Speaker 4: embarrassed later never really thanked her properly. But if she
Speaker 4: is an example of your organization and professionalism, you must
Speaker 4: be the best group around. Please accept a small offer
Speaker 4: of appreciation for her effort to save me way beyond
Speaker 4: the limits of safety. No, did not seem to be
Speaker 4: in her mind. I'm getting help with my mental needs.
Speaker 4: They will also help me find a job, and I
Speaker 4: have temporary housing. I have a new direction thanks to
Speaker 4: the wonderful people like yourselves. I got your name from
Speaker 4: her pack patch bumper sticker. My deepest thanks John.
Speaker 1: Okay, thank you Andrew for bailing me out.
Speaker 3: I phone a friend. Yeah that is very emotional.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, it's a tough one. It's yeah. So it
Speaker 1: took Pam three times to get through the letter as
Speaker 1: she was too overcome with emotion while reading it, which
Speaker 1: I'm not even part of that situation. But I get it, Pam,
Speaker 1: because same. Up until receiving the letter, she had no
Speaker 1: idea the circumstances surrounding John, and she just assumed he
Speaker 1: was an irresponsible hiker, and the whole time she was
Speaker 1: unaware that he was attempting suicide, actively attempting suicide right
Speaker 1: in front of her. And she had no idea and
Speaker 1: all she cared about was his safety and well being.
Speaker 1: And it's a lot. So a gentleman named Ty Gagney
Speaker 1: who is a CEO of a New Hampshire insurance company
Speaker 1: and a volunteer for the Andrewscoggin Valley Search and Rescue,
Speaker 1: and he's an author. He wrote a book about one
Speaker 1: of the rescue missions he was on. But he sort
Speaker 1: of summed it up perfectly. So I would like to
Speaker 1: share a direct quote from him. Let me try not
Speaker 1: to cry, Okay at some point. Actually, Nope, I can't
Speaker 1: do it. I'm far too emotional for the story and
Speaker 1: as a person in general. So Andrew's also going to
Speaker 1: read this quote.
Speaker 4: At some point in our lives, each of us has
Speaker 4: found ourselves walking with a sense of helplessness along a
Speaker 4: ridgeline through a personal storm, alone, devoid of a sense
Speaker 4: of emotional warmth and safety, smothered by the darkness of
Speaker 4: our own emotions. We sought that place just off trail,
Speaker 4: where we hope to find some way to break free
Speaker 4: of our struggles and strife. Sadly, tragically, some do follow through.
Speaker 4: Many are able to quietly self rescue. Others, like John
Speaker 4: are rescued by others like Pam Bales. The most valuable
Speaker 4: lesson I've learned through this powerful story is to be
Speaker 4: more mindful of caring for myself and seeking out rescuers
Speaker 4: when sometimes I find myself on the ridgeline, and to
Speaker 4: be more like Pam Bales when I sense that those
Speaker 4: tracks I see ahead in the snow, regardless of who
Speaker 4: may have made them, appear to be heading deeper into
Speaker 4: the storm.
Speaker 1: Thank you again, Andrew So. The essay titled Emotional Rescue
Speaker 1: was first published in the summer fall twenty eighteen issue
Speaker 1: of Appalachia Journal, and news of the harrowing rescue quickly
Speaker 1: spread across the country. Pam and John's story would be
Speaker 1: adapted into a twenty twenty two film titled Infinite Storm,
Speaker 1: starring Naomi Watts as Pam. Pam never heard from John again,
Speaker 1: but that doesn't lessen the impact he had on her.
Speaker 1: Pam feels that John is a survivor no matter what,
Speaker 1: and she just likes to think that he's he's still
Speaker 1: around and doing well. She also said that anytime that
Speaker 1: she has gone up to Mount Clay, she would sit
Speaker 1: and talk to him and check in on him to
Speaker 1: see how he's doing. He also well his story and
Speaker 1: this whole ordeal brought more awareness to her team as well,
Speaker 1: and it opened the door for them to ask and
Speaker 1: figure out how to handle those types of situations if
Speaker 1: they ever came across it themselves. It's obviously such a
Speaker 1: fragile situation, and Pam handled it incredibly, especially not even
Speaker 1: realizing the circumstances.
Speaker 3: Well, right, because the train or they train not people
Speaker 3: in general, but they train for, you know, technical rescues.
Speaker 3: Someone's had an injury or a fall or bad weather,
Speaker 3: but they're not necessarily prepared for a emotional and technical
Speaker 3: rescue where this person is in a state where mentally,
Speaker 3: emotionally they're not in a good place and physically they're
Speaker 3: in a very bad place.
Speaker 1: Yes, exactly. So, as you said, the technical rescue in
Speaker 1: and of itself, it poses its own challenges and risks
Speaker 1: for her to not only be trying to get herself
Speaker 1: down safely, but now someone else down safely. And then
Speaker 1: on top of that, unbeknownst to her at the time,
Speaker 1: there's this mental, psychological, emotional rescue that's also taking place.
Speaker 1: And this was just I think such a poignant story
Speaker 1: to share and it was. It was you know, emotional
Speaker 1: to read and research and write and obviously share because
Speaker 1: I had to be helped out twice. But yeah, so
Speaker 1: that that is the story of Pam Bales and the
Speaker 1: rescue of John.
Speaker 3: I love that they both had such a huge impact
Speaker 3: on one another's lives going forward. You know, if we're
Speaker 3: to assume that John, you know, survived and is doing
Speaker 3: well long term, obviously Pam literally saved his life, yes,
Speaker 3: but it sounds like John also had a huge impact
Speaker 3: on Pam's life. Even though you gave the disclaimer before
Speaker 3: you got into the story that you know this was
Speaker 3: going to touch on topic of suicide. I had kind
Speaker 3: of already forgot and that and just taking the story
Speaker 3: at face value. As you're sharing it and you know,
Speaker 3: telling it through Pam's point of view, I was thinking, Wow,
Speaker 3: this person's just unprepared, Like why are they not dressed properly,
Speaker 3: Why are they not wearing some type of waterproof shoes
Speaker 3: like all of these things, And yeah, you're taking in
Speaker 3: that face value, You're not. It's not human nature to
Speaker 3: assume that that person put themselves in that terrible situation
Speaker 3: intentionally to end their life. That's not it it goes
Speaker 3: against you in nature to even.
Speaker 1: Default to that assumption, right, right, yeah, And I think
Speaker 1: it was also very I mean, him writing that letter
Speaker 1: was huge of him to do, and I imagined that
Speaker 1: took well. Pam also mentioned she said it was just
Speaker 1: very brave of him, and it would it must have
Speaker 1: taken a lot for him to write that out and
Speaker 1: send it. And I did read in one source that
Speaker 1: there was a donation included in the letter, but obviously
Speaker 1: the letter is really what's important here, and definitely so yeah,
Speaker 1: and I found it interesting that in his letter he
Speaker 1: even acknowledges that He's like, I wanted to kill myself,
Speaker 1: I didn't want to kill anyone else, and this woman
Speaker 1: was not giving up on me, and so I knew
Speaker 1: that if I don't follow her now, I'm risking her
Speaker 1: life too, And that's not what I'm trying to do here,
Speaker 1: right at the.
Speaker 3: Very least, in that moment, Pam being responsible for him
Speaker 3: in return made him feel responsible for her. So even
Speaker 3: though in the moment he did not care what happened
Speaker 3: to himself, he felt a sense of responsibility because Pam
Speaker 3: cared for him, and he had to return that, you know,
Speaker 3: he returned that and ultimately saved his own life.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, Like as much as she was focused on
Speaker 1: his safety because she's like I, even though you know,
Speaker 1: she needed to get back safely as well. But she
Speaker 1: was prepared, She had the right layers on, she had
Speaker 1: the right gear on her person. So she's looking at,
Speaker 1: you know this, what appears to be a very irresponsible person,
Speaker 1: a very ill prepared person, and his safety was really
Speaker 1: her priority at that point, And little did she know
Speaker 1: that at that same time, the only safety he cared
Speaker 1: about was hers, because if she wasn't up there with him,
Speaker 1: he had no regard for his own life or well
Speaker 1: being or safety. And so for them to not realize
Speaker 1: you know that, Yeah, it's just a yeah, it's a
Speaker 1: very heavy story.
Speaker 3: Definitely, But I also think a takeaway is that, again,
Speaker 3: we never know what other people are going through, what
Speaker 3: other people are dealing with, and sometimes just a even
Speaker 3: semi positive interaction or comment or gesture can be a
Speaker 3: defining moment in somebody's day or potentially even somebody's life,
Speaker 3: you know, depending on what they're going through. So just
Speaker 3: a reminder to be kind out there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, any gesture, small or large, you really
Speaker 1: have no way of knowing the impact it has on
Speaker 1: someone else's life. So I think that is ultimately, as
Speaker 1: you said, just really the big takeaway from this, And
Speaker 1: just to reinforce this, if you are thinking about suicide,
Speaker 1: or you are worried about a friend or a loved one,
Speaker 1: or would like emotional support nine to eight eight. Lifeline
Speaker 1: network is available twenty four to seven across the United States.
Speaker 3: Great information, and I had never heard that story, so
Speaker 3: I'm so glad that you shared it.
Speaker 1: You're very welcome.
Speaker 3: All right, until next week, everybody.
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. Danielle and I do our own research
Speaker 1: and try our best to cross reference reliable sources to
Speaker 1: present the most accurate information we can. Please reach out
Speaker 1: to us at Off the Trails Podcast at gmail dot
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Speaker 1: this episode, and we will be happy to correct ourselves
Speaker 1: in a future episode.
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