WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.680 --> 00:00:02.919 This is doctor Wendy Walsh and you're listening to KFI 2 00:00:03.080 --> 00:00:05.960 AM six forty, the Doctor Wendy Waalsh Show on demand 3 00:00:06.280 --> 00:00:07.960 on the iHeartRadio. 4 00:00:07.280 --> 00:00:11.439 App KFI AM six forty. You have Doctor Wendy Walsh 5 00:00:11.439 --> 00:00:14.240 with you. This is the Doctor Wendy Walls Show. 6 00:00:14.400 --> 00:00:15.080 If you know my. 7 00:00:15.160 --> 00:00:17.920 Show, I have a PhD in clinical psychology. I'm a 8 00:00:17.920 --> 00:00:20.839 psychology professor and I like to think of myself as 9 00:00:20.879 --> 00:00:24.719 a relationship journalist because I've written three books on relationships. 10 00:00:25.559 --> 00:00:28.079 Oh and tonight, you would not believe what we have 11 00:00:28.199 --> 00:00:32.640 coming up. We've got a new yes, yet another sexual 12 00:00:32.719 --> 00:00:40.640 orientation that has been identified symbio sexuality. You won't believe 13 00:00:40.679 --> 00:00:44.679 what this one is. Also, if you're single and over fifty, 14 00:00:44.719 --> 00:00:47.880 I want you to listen up. I've got some strategies 15 00:00:48.039 --> 00:00:51.840 for dating someone younger. And I don't mean way younger. 16 00:00:51.960 --> 00:00:55.200 We're not talking cradle robbers, we are not talking cougars. 17 00:00:55.640 --> 00:00:58.039 We're talking about the fact you might go on the 18 00:00:58.079 --> 00:01:00.679 app and meet somebody eight to ten year younger. They're 19 00:01:00.719 --> 00:01:06.120 still a fully fully fledged grown up. But listen things 20 00:01:06.239 --> 00:01:09.280 a boy dating someone a little bit younger. And finally, 21 00:01:09.959 --> 00:01:12.480 let's talk about your marriage and how to fix it? 22 00:01:13.000 --> 00:01:15.599 The last three segments of this show, This is all 23 00:01:15.640 --> 00:01:19.719 we're gonna do is I have been reading the research 24 00:01:21.000 --> 00:01:25.040 and the amazing stuff written by therapists who are in 25 00:01:25.120 --> 00:01:28.480 the trenches every day with married couples, and I will 26 00:01:28.480 --> 00:01:32.000 help disseminate some of their great advice for you. Plus, 27 00:01:32.079 --> 00:01:34.439 I'll be answering your social media questions. If you have 28 00:01:34.480 --> 00:01:38.319 a relationship question for me, just send it in a DM. 29 00:01:38.359 --> 00:01:41.200 How about Instagram? Hey, here's sir, Kayla. How you doing? 30 00:01:41.640 --> 00:01:42.640 I am wonderful, Indy? 31 00:01:42.719 --> 00:01:47.280 How are you? Can you hear me? Did you run 32 00:01:47.319 --> 00:01:49.840 out away from that mic? Turn down? Look at your 33 00:01:49.840 --> 00:01:57.719 phone for a second, just a little bit, TikTok, it happens, Rabouel, 34 00:01:57.760 --> 00:02:02.359 How are you doing? Excellent? Happy to be here with you. Oh, 35 00:02:02.400 --> 00:02:02.840 there he is. 36 00:02:03.120 --> 00:02:03.280 You know. 37 00:02:03.480 --> 00:02:06.480 Last week we had all girls. It was a girls show. 38 00:02:07.400 --> 00:02:12.280 We had oh gosh, I forgot her name. Are Isabelle? Isabelle? Isabella? 39 00:02:12.560 --> 00:02:14.439 And we had Heather and we had me and Kayla. 40 00:02:14.759 --> 00:02:16.879 And let me tell you, we needed a male voice 41 00:02:17.120 --> 00:02:19.759 because we had to depend on our male listeners for 42 00:02:19.840 --> 00:02:23.520 talkbacks because there were some things we had some conundrums about, 43 00:02:23.560 --> 00:02:26.159 like what is considered cheating or not, and men are 44 00:02:26.199 --> 00:02:28.800 a little looser about what is considered cheating. But your 45 00:02:28.840 --> 00:02:30.879 back roll so you can weigh in if anything like 46 00:02:30.919 --> 00:02:33.319 that comes up. We have Heather in the newsroom. Hello, 47 00:02:33.360 --> 00:02:37.080 Win and got everybody here. How are you? I'm god 48 00:02:37.080 --> 00:02:38.199 did your comedy show go? 49 00:02:38.479 --> 00:02:39.840 Oh my gosh, thank you for asking. 50 00:02:39.919 --> 00:02:42.439 It was great. It was such a fun crowd. Everybody 51 00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:45.560 was game to have a good time and it was. 52 00:02:45.639 --> 00:02:49.120 It was a lot of fun. So you killed it, 53 00:02:50.120 --> 00:02:53.879 I think so, I hope. So next time you're going 54 00:02:53.960 --> 00:02:56.759 to have to tell us next time you're on stage, 55 00:02:56.800 --> 00:02:58.719 I want to come. I will. I will thank you, 56 00:02:59.439 --> 00:03:03.599 all right, Producer Kayla, do you notice what I send 57 00:03:03.639 --> 00:03:06.080 you some notes beforehand that I wanted to talk about 58 00:03:06.080 --> 00:03:07.319 at the beginning of the show, I was just in 59 00:03:07.360 --> 00:03:11.319 a mood, a mood to do a celebrity relationship round up. Yeah, 60 00:03:11.439 --> 00:03:15.280 that's different because I haven't you know. I don't like 61 00:03:16.159 --> 00:03:20.199 when people compare their own relationships to celebrity relationships. There's 62 00:03:20.199 --> 00:03:22.759 really nothing to learn from them because it's usually too 63 00:03:22.840 --> 00:03:28.240 spoiled baby narcissists performing for the cameras in their little relationship. However, 64 00:03:28.840 --> 00:03:31.680 they are human beings and sometimes they're doing stuff that 65 00:03:31.759 --> 00:03:35.759 is kind of newsworthy. For instance, let us analyze this, kaylab. 66 00:03:36.800 --> 00:03:42.000 So this yesterday, actress Cheryl Hines and former presidential candidate 67 00:03:42.080 --> 00:03:47.560 Robert F. Kennedy Junior were spotted holding hands. Now here's 68 00:03:47.560 --> 00:03:49.960 why this is a big deal. And I should tell 69 00:03:49.960 --> 00:03:53.439 you where they were spotted at. Of course, the Kennedy's 70 00:03:53.479 --> 00:03:57.400 family compound and Hyena Sport. But this is following the 71 00:03:57.439 --> 00:04:02.000 death of Robert Kennedy's mother, Ethel. She died on October tenth. So, 72 00:04:02.800 --> 00:04:05.599 but this is why it's a big deal. Just last month, 73 00:04:05.759 --> 00:04:10.520 it was revealed that Kennedy allegedly, allegedly I'm saying it again, 74 00:04:10.599 --> 00:04:15.400 allegedly engaged in an extramarital affair. Nobody's calling it that. 75 00:04:15.439 --> 00:04:20.600 They're calling it a personal relationship with journalist Olivia Newzy 76 00:04:20.759 --> 00:04:24.399 after she wrote about him for New York Magazine in 77 00:04:24.439 --> 00:04:27.480 November of twenty twenty three. She fessed up to it. 78 00:04:27.600 --> 00:04:29.160 I guess I don't know how it all came out 79 00:04:29.240 --> 00:04:31.720 or who was gonna out who, And so she's been 80 00:04:31.720 --> 00:04:36.040 put on like a leave sabbatical. She's not allowed to 81 00:04:36.040 --> 00:04:40.560 cover him anymore. So and shortly after that relationship service 82 00:04:40.839 --> 00:04:44.439 at least three other women excuse me, came forward claiming 83 00:04:44.480 --> 00:04:49.920 that they also had a romantic relationship with Robert Kennedy Junior. 84 00:04:50.279 --> 00:04:54.720 So back on October fifth, that's a week ago, right, 85 00:04:55.639 --> 00:05:00.399 People Magazine. See, I go everywhere, not just the scientific journals, Okay, 86 00:05:00.720 --> 00:05:04.079 I go to the other sources that matter, People Magazine, 87 00:05:04.800 --> 00:05:08.439 and they said that she was spotted at Starbucks in 88 00:05:08.560 --> 00:05:13.040 Malibu and she was not wearing her wedding ring. He was. 89 00:05:14.000 --> 00:05:19.040 Now wait then yesterday, she's at the Kennedy compound. She's 90 00:05:19.079 --> 00:05:22.920 back to wearing her wedding ring, but he's not. Can 91 00:05:22.920 --> 00:05:24.759 we break that down, Kayle, what do you think is happening? 92 00:05:27.160 --> 00:05:28.879 I think they're trying to keep us on our toes, 93 00:05:28.920 --> 00:05:37.199 but they are totally dating. I think that he's having affairs. 94 00:05:37.720 --> 00:05:40.680 Their relationship is in crisis, or he was having affairs. Anyway, 95 00:05:41.040 --> 00:05:44.040 their relationship is in crisis. So she's out and about 96 00:05:44.079 --> 00:05:47.120 in her neighborhood, no wedding ring on, and she knows 97 00:05:47.120 --> 00:05:50.560 her picture gets take it everywhere to say, basically, dude, 98 00:05:50.800 --> 00:05:52.319 I'm going to leave you. This marriage is going to 99 00:05:52.360 --> 00:05:57.439 break up. Or but wait, go to the Kennedy funeral 100 00:05:57.480 --> 00:06:00.000 and the Kennedy compound, all of a sudden, wedding ring 101 00:06:00.120 --> 00:06:03.040 goes back on. She say to the family, I'm a Kennedy. 102 00:06:03.560 --> 00:06:07.360 I'm here home right like, you're not going to take 103 00:06:07.399 --> 00:06:08.839 me off this Kennedy pedestal. 104 00:06:08.959 --> 00:06:09.839 Yeah, that makes sense. 105 00:06:10.319 --> 00:06:13.319 We'll see. It's one to watch to see what happens 106 00:06:13.319 --> 00:06:15.879 with these two. I wish them the best. Actually, it's 107 00:06:15.920 --> 00:06:19.560 hard when your relationships in crisis. Now, speaking of lovers, 108 00:06:20.399 --> 00:06:24.920 Kylie Jenner and Timothy Shallamay, they've been together since twenty 109 00:06:25.000 --> 00:06:28.120 twenty three. This is almost the end of twenty twenty four. 110 00:06:28.560 --> 00:06:31.439 Can young people that young be together almost two years? 111 00:06:31.879 --> 00:06:34.600 She's twenty seven, he's twenty eight. I guess they could anyway, 112 00:06:34.600 --> 00:06:36.680 they were spotted in New York City having to know 113 00:06:36.720 --> 00:06:39.680 a little pizza date on a Saturday night. But what 114 00:06:39.800 --> 00:06:41.319 I like, and this is the thing I wanted to 115 00:06:41.360 --> 00:06:45.800 say about their celebrity relationship, is that they were rumored 116 00:06:45.800 --> 00:06:49.199 to have started dating in April of twenty twenty three, 117 00:06:49.680 --> 00:06:54.879 but they never came out in public together until September, 118 00:06:55.600 --> 00:06:59.519 so April May, June, July, August, So they spent five 119 00:06:59.600 --> 00:07:03.079 months cooning and hiding and growing intimacy. This is the 120 00:07:03.079 --> 00:07:05.879 message for all of us. Look just because you're dating 121 00:07:05.879 --> 00:07:08.199 somebody new or hot, don't post on Instagram, don't like 122 00:07:08.360 --> 00:07:10.759 get out there right away. Wait to see what it is, right, 123 00:07:10.800 --> 00:07:13.480 Spend some time getting to know each other. Relationships need 124 00:07:13.519 --> 00:07:18.360 to grow in private. Okay. Also, I did not know this, 125 00:07:18.879 --> 00:07:23.000 did you know? Alfre Woodard? First of all, she's seventy one. Now, 126 00:07:23.519 --> 00:07:26.000 how is that possible? She looks like she's forty. How 127 00:07:26.040 --> 00:07:28.680 is that possible? Anyway, she's been married to her husband 128 00:07:28.680 --> 00:07:32.920 for forty one years. Forty one years, they have two kids, 129 00:07:33.480 --> 00:07:38.120 and she just says, I think she told one of 130 00:07:38.120 --> 00:07:42.759 those tablets. I think it's People magazine. She said, it's 131 00:07:42.800 --> 00:07:48.000 a constant discovery and renogation, renegotiating and continuing to fall 132 00:07:48.120 --> 00:07:51.720 in love. I love this renegotiating. We're going to talk 133 00:07:51.720 --> 00:07:54.800 about that later in the show, How you can fix 134 00:07:54.839 --> 00:07:59.839 your marriage, save your marriage, renegotiate your marriage. She also 135 00:08:00.000 --> 00:08:03.879 stressed the importance of laughter in her love relationship. She said, 136 00:08:03.959 --> 00:08:07.600 even in difficulty, quote, you can cry about it, you 137 00:08:07.639 --> 00:08:10.279 can argue about it, and sometimes in the middle of 138 00:08:10.319 --> 00:08:13.360 it all you don't know why, but something will make 139 00:08:13.399 --> 00:08:16.800 you laugh. And that's a sign of somebody who has healthy, 140 00:08:16.879 --> 00:08:20.600 healthy conflict in a healthy relationship. And congratulations them especially 141 00:08:20.600 --> 00:08:25.439 he's a writer, producer and she's an actress and they've 142 00:08:25.439 --> 00:08:28.920 been in the limelight all these years and still managed 143 00:08:28.920 --> 00:08:31.040 to stay together for forty one years. So that's a 144 00:08:31.079 --> 00:08:35.399 really really big deal. Oh and Kayla, do you remember 145 00:08:35.919 --> 00:08:39.799 Julia Fox, the actress She had a brief little thing 146 00:08:39.879 --> 00:08:43.480 with Kanye Oh yeah, yes, yes, twenty twenty one, like 147 00:08:43.759 --> 00:08:46.639 during COVID right, yeah, So now she's talking about it, 148 00:08:46.679 --> 00:08:51.159 even though supposedly he asked her to sign an NDA. Anyway, 149 00:08:51.799 --> 00:08:54.720 she's saying that he used her, that she was used 150 00:08:54.759 --> 00:08:57.240 as his pawn, that he offered to get her a 151 00:08:57.320 --> 00:08:59.799 boob job, he asked her to sign a DNA, he 152 00:08:59.840 --> 00:09:03.360 made stylists put an outfit on. You're going out with Kanye, 153 00:09:03.399 --> 00:09:05.039 what do you expect? This is what he does. He 154 00:09:05.080 --> 00:09:07.840 shapes his muses and you went along with it for 155 00:09:07.960 --> 00:09:11.120 however many weeks. Then she goes on to say, the 156 00:09:11.200 --> 00:09:13.440 only reason I got out of it, I didn't fall 157 00:09:13.480 --> 00:09:16.559 down this spiral was because no man, no matter how 158 00:09:16.679 --> 00:09:19.039 rich or famous, is worth one minute away from my child. 159 00:09:19.080 --> 00:09:21.000 Apparently she had a three year old or a baby 160 00:09:21.039 --> 00:09:23.480 at the time. Because I think the baby's three now, 161 00:09:24.279 --> 00:09:27.360 so you think, oh, great, good mother. She understands Kanye 162 00:09:27.440 --> 00:09:30.679 probably not a good healthy relationship for her, and she's 163 00:09:30.759 --> 00:09:33.759 focused on her kid. But then later in this interview 164 00:09:33.799 --> 00:09:38.039 with Variety back in April, she says, I want my 165 00:09:38.159 --> 00:09:41.440 kid to completely own nepotism. She said, if I'm going 166 00:09:41.480 --> 00:09:43.759 to be famous and have this highly coveted thing, I 167 00:09:43.799 --> 00:09:46.559 want to share it with my son. We need him 168 00:09:46.600 --> 00:09:50.360 to be a nepo baby and he needs to own it. Okay. 169 00:09:50.399 --> 00:09:52.399 So she's just love and fame, and she loved the 170 00:09:52.440 --> 00:09:54.200 Kanye thing and she loves she can still talk about it. 171 00:09:54.200 --> 00:09:56.000 That's what I'm saying, all right, when we come back. 172 00:09:56.159 --> 00:09:58.519 There is a new sexual orientation out there. It is 173 00:09:58.559 --> 00:10:05.000 called symbio sexual. Symbio sexual, I'll tell you I am 174 00:10:05.039 --> 00:10:07.799 not this. That's what I'll tell you, and I'll explain 175 00:10:07.840 --> 00:10:09.759 what it is when we come back. You are listening 176 00:10:09.799 --> 00:10:12.519 to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show on KFI AM six 177 00:10:12.639 --> 00:10:15.039 forty with Live Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. 178 00:10:16.200 --> 00:10:20.399 You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI 179 00:10:20.600 --> 00:10:21.559 AM six forty. 180 00:10:22.960 --> 00:10:26.320 KFI six you have Dr Wendy Walsh with you. This 181 00:10:26.480 --> 00:10:31.559 is the Doctor Wendy Walls Show. So we just got 182 00:10:31.679 --> 00:10:40.399 used to a bunch of terms. Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, Holly 183 00:10:40.720 --> 00:10:46.399 han A, you don't know some of those DEMI andro 184 00:10:47.039 --> 00:10:49.399 I know. Wait, okay, I'm gonna break them all down 185 00:10:49.440 --> 00:10:53.679 for you in just a second. There is a new 186 00:10:54.519 --> 00:11:01.720 sexual orientation on the rise. It's called symbia, oh, sexuality, 187 00:11:02.279 --> 00:11:09.000 symbio simbio, symbio sexuality. Some people are calling it an 188 00:11:09.039 --> 00:11:16.039 attraction style, others a sexual orientation. It's so new they 189 00:11:16.039 --> 00:11:19.720 don't know what it is. Now here's a list of 190 00:11:19.759 --> 00:11:23.960 the ten most common sexual orientations that you're probably familiar with. 191 00:11:24.960 --> 00:11:29.480 Heterosexual often referred to as straight, and that means that 192 00:11:29.519 --> 00:11:35.200 somebody has a sexual attraction to individuals of the opposite 193 00:11:35.320 --> 00:11:42.639 or different gender. Okay, heterosexual, Homosexual, sometimes called gay or lesbian, 194 00:11:42.639 --> 00:11:45.720 depending if you're well, you know they're gay women to lesbian, 195 00:11:46.519 --> 00:11:50.559 No lesbian men, so me yeah. Gay is primarily used 196 00:11:50.559 --> 00:11:53.679 for men, that can be applied to women, Lesbians used 197 00:11:53.679 --> 00:11:57.600 for female. Okay, attraction to individuals of the same gender. 198 00:11:58.440 --> 00:12:02.039 Then there's bisexual to more than one gender, often both 199 00:12:02.080 --> 00:12:08.519 male and female. Then pan sexual attraction to just people individuals, 200 00:12:09.000 --> 00:12:15.519 regardless of their gender, their gender identity, their sexual apparatus 201 00:12:15.559 --> 00:12:18.039 below the belt doesn't matter. If you love them, you 202 00:12:18.200 --> 00:12:22.600 love them. Then there's a sexual little or no sexual 203 00:12:22.600 --> 00:12:26.279 attraction towards anybody at all, although you got to understand 204 00:12:26.320 --> 00:12:30.320 people who are asexual still may have it's very common 205 00:12:30.399 --> 00:12:34.799 to have romantic attraction, so they want relationships but no 206 00:12:34.879 --> 00:12:40.399 sex please. Then there's demisexual. I like, that's me now 207 00:12:40.399 --> 00:12:44.320 that I'm older and more mature. A demisexual is somebody 208 00:12:44.559 --> 00:12:49.360 whose sexual attraction develops only after forming a deep emotional connection, 209 00:12:50.080 --> 00:12:52.559 So it doesn't matter what they look like, doesn't matter 210 00:12:52.600 --> 00:12:54.480 how much money they have. Well maybe all those things 211 00:12:54.519 --> 00:12:58.639 kind of matter to but basically, once you feel emotionally 212 00:12:58.679 --> 00:13:03.000 in love, then you feel aroused. Then you've probably heard 213 00:13:03.039 --> 00:13:05.399 the term queer, and queer is just a really broad, 214 00:13:05.519 --> 00:13:09.320 non specific term for all kinds of sexual orientations outside 215 00:13:09.360 --> 00:13:16.600 of heteronormativity. Outside of heterosexual, then there's polysexual attraction to 216 00:13:17.120 --> 00:13:22.440 multiple partners at the same time. Then there's androsexual. Now 217 00:13:22.840 --> 00:13:26.159 hould the horses when you listen to androsexual primary attraction 218 00:13:26.240 --> 00:13:32.120 to masculinity. Masculinity, So it doesn't matter what gender somebody 219 00:13:32.320 --> 00:13:36.519 is if they present masculine, they could be a masculine woman, 220 00:13:36.559 --> 00:13:40.799 a masculine man, a masculine non binary. No, non binary 221 00:13:40.799 --> 00:13:43.879 would be both, so a masculine man or woman. Then 222 00:13:43.879 --> 00:13:48.960 there's guy no sexual primary attraction to femininity or feminine 223 00:13:48.960 --> 00:13:52.919 presenting people regardless of gender. All right, so here's the 224 00:13:52.960 --> 00:13:57.360 new one. And this was published in an academic journal. Okay, 225 00:13:57.799 --> 00:14:00.799 A reason study published in the Archives of Actual Behavior 226 00:14:00.879 --> 00:14:07.600 explored the phenomenon of symbio sexuality get ready, which refers 227 00:14:08.120 --> 00:14:14.279 to one's attraction to the dynamic energy between two people 228 00:14:14.879 --> 00:14:22.080 in an existing relationship. Supposedly, symbio sexuality has been observed 229 00:14:22.399 --> 00:14:26.279 across a wide range of ages, racial background, socioeconomic classes, 230 00:14:26.320 --> 00:14:32.399 gender identities. Not surprising to me, most people from the 231 00:14:32.440 --> 00:14:39.480 study who experience symbio sexuality identified themselves as polyamorous or queer. Okay, 232 00:14:40.159 --> 00:14:43.879 so here's what they reported in the study that they 233 00:14:43.879 --> 00:14:49.080 were most These people were most attracted to in relationships energy, 234 00:14:49.440 --> 00:14:53.480 just the energy. The people in this study said they 235 00:14:53.519 --> 00:14:57.159 were attracted to the energy and the cohesion displayed by 236 00:14:57.159 --> 00:15:01.759 the couples. In other words, their secure attachment was very arousing. 237 00:15:02.679 --> 00:15:06.679 And then there's charisma, the chemistry and magnetism of a couple. 238 00:15:07.960 --> 00:15:12.759 How about power and strength? Oh, power couples, They're sexy 239 00:15:12.799 --> 00:15:17.919 to some people. The power created by the partnership. Then 240 00:15:18.519 --> 00:15:23.440 the intimacy and relationship quality. People say in this study 241 00:15:23.440 --> 00:15:27.360 that they're attracted to couples who showed a strong, healthy, 242 00:15:27.399 --> 00:15:32.639 and loving relationship marked by good communication. What now you 243 00:15:32.679 --> 00:15:37.519 want in on it too? Okay, I see physical appearance 244 00:15:38.519 --> 00:15:41.879 as a couple. Some found the way couples look together 245 00:15:42.200 --> 00:15:45.360 physically appealing. Kanye are you listening? Because you know he 246 00:15:45.639 --> 00:15:48.720 completely art directs everybody he dates, and if you look 247 00:15:48.759 --> 00:15:50.720 at pictures of him out with couples, he tries to 248 00:15:51.200 --> 00:15:55.639 make that whole unit be something. Okay, here's why I 249 00:15:55.759 --> 00:16:02.399 think that satio sexuality, No, sapio sexual is attracted to 250 00:16:02.480 --> 00:16:08.399 somebody who is highly intelligent, and you're attracted to brains. 251 00:16:08.919 --> 00:16:13.000 Symbio Symbio sexuality is what we're talking about. Here's the 252 00:16:13.039 --> 00:16:16.200 reason I think it's missing the mark when it comes 253 00:16:16.279 --> 00:16:21.159 to sexuality. There's so many better explanations. Let's just go 254 00:16:21.279 --> 00:16:23.840 back to the work of Kinsey. Kinsey would have said 255 00:16:24.039 --> 00:16:27.120 that there's a scale that we all fall on, whether 256 00:16:27.240 --> 00:16:30.639 it is his scale was from one to six, six 257 00:16:30.720 --> 00:16:35.000 being completely homosexual in both fantasy and behavior, a one 258 00:16:35.080 --> 00:16:38.559 being completely heterosexual in both fantasy and behavior, and Kinsey 259 00:16:38.600 --> 00:16:41.759 felt like, we're all somewhere like a three. Okay, we 260 00:16:41.879 --> 00:16:44.360 may not be behaving that way, but there may be 261 00:16:44.360 --> 00:16:50.039 some fantasies, et cetera. So evolutionary psychologists like doctor David Buss, 262 00:16:50.279 --> 00:16:53.639 who wrote the book The Evolution of Desire, would say 263 00:16:53.639 --> 00:16:57.399 that we're all primed for bisexuality depending on the situation, 264 00:16:57.559 --> 00:16:59.679 the number of mates available, because we use sex for 265 00:16:59.799 --> 00:17:04.160 way more things than just reproduction. We use it as 266 00:17:04.160 --> 00:17:06.319 a stress reduction, we use it for social climbing, we 267 00:17:07.079 --> 00:17:10.720 use it for pleasure, we use it just to relax. 268 00:17:10.799 --> 00:17:14.759 All right, Then there's attachment style, right. Psychologists will look 269 00:17:14.759 --> 00:17:17.960 at well, if somebody has maybe an anxious attachment style, 270 00:17:18.039 --> 00:17:20.559 might they look at these couples who are so well 271 00:17:20.599 --> 00:17:23.400 bonded and think, Oh, that's what I want. That's what 272 00:17:23.440 --> 00:17:25.799 I want. I'm going to be aroused by that by 273 00:17:25.839 --> 00:17:28.720 seeing it. So what's not clear in this definition is 274 00:17:28.759 --> 00:17:31.839 whether this person who's attracted to the energy and this 275 00:17:31.920 --> 00:17:34.480 couple wants to make a threesome out of it, or 276 00:17:34.519 --> 00:17:35.480 they just want to watch. 277 00:17:35.640 --> 00:17:35.920 I don't. 278 00:17:36.000 --> 00:17:40.039 I'm not clear about all this. But anyway, if somebody 279 00:17:40.079 --> 00:17:45.480 asks you if you are a symbio sexual, just say 280 00:17:46.000 --> 00:17:48.079 I'm everything. Because we all are we have the ability 281 00:17:48.119 --> 00:17:51.920 to beond everything. Just say all right when we come back. 282 00:17:52.119 --> 00:17:53.880 I want to remind you of going to social media 283 00:17:53.920 --> 00:17:55.200 in a little bit. So if you do have a 284 00:17:55.240 --> 00:18:01.000 relationship question, send it to my We're going Instagram Instagram 285 00:18:01.039 --> 00:18:03.160 at Dr Wendy Walsh at doctor Wendywell. Send me a 286 00:18:03.160 --> 00:18:06.200 private DM producer Kayla will read it. I'll keep your 287 00:18:06.240 --> 00:18:09.319 identity a secret all that, but send me some some good, 288 00:18:09.400 --> 00:18:12.400 juicy questions and a reminder. I'm not a therapist. I'm 289 00:18:12.400 --> 00:18:15.440 a psychology professor, but I have written three books on relationships, 290 00:18:15.480 --> 00:18:17.480 and I have a lot of life experience, so I 291 00:18:17.559 --> 00:18:21.319 love to weigh in. Like, for instance, if you're somebody 292 00:18:21.359 --> 00:18:24.440 who's over fifty and you're dating, you might come across 293 00:18:24.440 --> 00:18:27.519 somebody who's a we tad younger. I don't mean way younger, 294 00:18:27.559 --> 00:18:30.200 I just mean we tad younger. Are there new rules 295 00:18:30.200 --> 00:18:32.720 for this? Is it different if you're dating somebody who's 296 00:18:32.759 --> 00:18:35.680 just you know, ten years younger than you. Let's talk 297 00:18:35.680 --> 00:18:38.079 about it when we come back. You are listening to 298 00:18:38.079 --> 00:18:40.920 the Dr Wendy wallsh Show on KFI AM six forty 299 00:18:40.920 --> 00:18:43.079 We Live Everywhere. On the iHeartRadio app. 300 00:18:43.599 --> 00:18:47.960 You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI 301 00:18:48.039 --> 00:18:49.240 AM six forty. 302 00:18:49.480 --> 00:18:52.480 Kf I Am six forty. You have Doctor Wendy Walsh 303 00:18:52.480 --> 00:18:54.920 with you. This is the Doctor Wendy Walls Show. Kayla, 304 00:18:55.000 --> 00:19:01.920 I love that song too. So you know, the fastest 305 00:19:01.960 --> 00:19:04.559 growing group of people on dating apps are people over 306 00:19:04.599 --> 00:19:07.359 the age of fifty. I'm going to say something I've 307 00:19:07.359 --> 00:19:10.519 been saying many many times, but in case you're new 308 00:19:10.559 --> 00:19:13.880 to the show or you've forgotten this, there is no 309 00:19:14.079 --> 00:19:20.160 such thing as a failed relationship. Everybody grows, Everybody learns. 310 00:19:20.200 --> 00:19:23.799 Everybody moves on and hopefully is a better person in 311 00:19:23.839 --> 00:19:26.720 the next relationship, or learns to choose better or. 312 00:19:26.880 --> 00:19:27.440 What have you. 313 00:19:27.799 --> 00:19:34.720 They're all just human experience. So remember, like I always say, 314 00:19:34.759 --> 00:19:36.880 when till Death Do us Part was invented, death was 315 00:19:36.920 --> 00:19:39.880 pretty imminent. So if you got married in the year 316 00:19:40.119 --> 00:19:43.400 nineteen hundred and you profess till death to us part, 317 00:19:43.440 --> 00:19:46.160 the average length of that marriage was about twelve years. 318 00:19:46.759 --> 00:19:50.799 Because of famines. I think Wanda Sykes has a funny thing. 319 00:19:50.839 --> 00:19:53.880 Says back when people said, I do you know, there 320 00:19:53.880 --> 00:19:55.960 would be a swarm of locusts that would kill your 321 00:19:55.960 --> 00:19:58.319 man once he drove you crazy, So it was fine, 322 00:19:58.440 --> 00:20:03.200 you're out. I'm married in nineteen ninety. The average length 323 00:20:03.200 --> 00:20:05.799 of that marriage is twelve years. But now leaving by divorce. 324 00:20:06.319 --> 00:20:10.720 Generally people stay together long enough that it would take, 325 00:20:10.759 --> 00:20:12.759 whether they had kids or not, to get kids up 326 00:20:12.799 --> 00:20:14.880 and out of the nest. And not so long ago, 327 00:20:14.880 --> 00:20:16.880 it only took twelve to fourteen years. Well a long 328 00:20:16.920 --> 00:20:20.640 time ago. Now, of course, they're taking a lot longer 329 00:20:20.680 --> 00:20:25.640 to launch. However, I digress. You will see people dating 330 00:20:25.960 --> 00:20:29.960 at every single age across the lifespan. Our long life 331 00:20:30.039 --> 00:20:35.559 expectancies mean that people may find themselves single in their fifties, 332 00:20:35.599 --> 00:20:38.440 in their sixties, in their seventies and getting back out 333 00:20:38.519 --> 00:20:41.039 there and dating. And let me tell you things have changed, 334 00:20:41.039 --> 00:20:43.799 all right. Please learn the dating apps. I do segments 335 00:20:43.839 --> 00:20:45.799 all the time on how to use the dating apps 336 00:20:45.799 --> 00:20:48.519 and how to protect yourself from or mand scams and 337 00:20:48.559 --> 00:20:50.279 all that. I don't want to talk about that today. 338 00:20:50.400 --> 00:20:53.319 That's a whole nother subject, a whole nother show. I 339 00:20:53.359 --> 00:20:56.720 want to talk about, like, well, your age range is 340 00:20:56.799 --> 00:20:58.799 going to be for people to date. So here's the thing. 341 00:20:58.799 --> 00:21:02.000 When you do go on the app, you search based 342 00:21:02.119 --> 00:21:06.440 on age range. So, for instance, when I was on 343 00:21:06.519 --> 00:21:10.680 the apps and I found my Julio, eventually I think 344 00:21:10.920 --> 00:21:14.359 I dated up to ten years younger and up to 345 00:21:14.440 --> 00:21:18.519 ten years older than me, I should tell you I 346 00:21:18.519 --> 00:21:21.000 didn't really like dating any younger guys. I don't know. 347 00:21:21.079 --> 00:21:24.039 I just kaylie, you would think I would have liked 348 00:21:24.240 --> 00:21:29.440 dating younger men looking fit, Yeah, but I felt like 349 00:21:29.480 --> 00:21:34.240 their teacher. I want to like look up and learn 350 00:21:34.279 --> 00:21:37.880 from somebody, right. So anyway, Julio's super smart, so I 351 00:21:37.880 --> 00:21:39.720 could keep learning from him, and I learned from him 352 00:21:39.759 --> 00:21:44.160 every day, like today how to install a dimmer switch. Anyway, 353 00:21:44.279 --> 00:21:48.480 So this idea of dating somebody a little bit younger 354 00:21:48.519 --> 00:21:52.319 can feel really exciting, but it can also feel terrifying. 355 00:21:53.039 --> 00:21:55.440 So if you end up being the object of desire 356 00:21:55.640 --> 00:21:59.759 of a much younger mate, it can for some people 357 00:21:59.839 --> 00:22:03.079 it makes them feel younger themselves, but other people do 358 00:22:03.160 --> 00:22:06.119 the comparison and they actually feel like, oh, I feel 359 00:22:06.160 --> 00:22:09.200 old around this person. It's all an inside job, right, 360 00:22:09.240 --> 00:22:10.839 and how you feel. But there are a few things 361 00:22:10.839 --> 00:22:13.440 to keep in mind if you do decide to date someone, 362 00:22:13.519 --> 00:22:18.640 say a decade younger. First, I am a professor of 363 00:22:18.680 --> 00:22:23.319 developmental psychology. I can assure you that, quite literally, age 364 00:22:23.559 --> 00:22:29.559 is only a number. Biologically speaking, there exist old young 365 00:22:29.599 --> 00:22:33.240 people and young old people. So you know, for instance, 366 00:22:33.279 --> 00:22:35.160 at the beginning of our life span, you can go 367 00:22:35.200 --> 00:22:37.920 into a kindergarten classroom and you can find a bunch 368 00:22:37.920 --> 00:22:40.359 of five year olds still crying their eyes out and 369 00:22:40.440 --> 00:22:43.039 peeing their pants, and over in the corner there's another 370 00:22:43.079 --> 00:22:47.079 five year old quietly reading. Right, You've got this big 371 00:22:47.279 --> 00:22:49.759 range of how we develop, and at the end of 372 00:22:49.759 --> 00:22:52.920 the life span, same thing. In the last few decades, 373 00:22:53.160 --> 00:22:55.680 there are some people that appear to grow old quicker, 374 00:22:56.039 --> 00:23:01.240 either biologically or socially for what a reason. Now, our 375 00:23:01.319 --> 00:23:05.119 cellular aging, the biological piece, is linked to our genetics, 376 00:23:05.640 --> 00:23:08.400 it's linked big time to our health habits along the way, 377 00:23:08.599 --> 00:23:12.599 but also to our social attitudes. Right, if we feel young, 378 00:23:12.640 --> 00:23:14.839 I mean, one of the great things about the last 379 00:23:14.839 --> 00:23:16.599 ten years of my life is I've been on a 380 00:23:16.640 --> 00:23:20.359 college campus hanging out with twenty year olds, and that'll 381 00:23:20.440 --> 00:23:24.599 keep you young for sure. So my advice here is 382 00:23:24.759 --> 00:23:29.400 just because somebody's birth certificate reads younger than you, it 383 00:23:29.440 --> 00:23:33.559 doesn't mean that they're actually biologically younger. So don't worry 384 00:23:33.559 --> 00:23:37.519 about the age thing. But you should be concerned about 385 00:23:37.559 --> 00:23:44.160 some practical considerations. So when you cocoon and fall in 386 00:23:44.200 --> 00:23:48.599 love in this wonderful romantic compartment, it feels so exciting. 387 00:23:49.400 --> 00:23:53.599 But eventually all relationships have to go somewhere. You see, 388 00:23:53.640 --> 00:23:59.720 relationships are a bridge between tribes, and those tribes might 389 00:23:59.759 --> 00:24:03.799 not be as inviting as you hope. So when you're young, okay, 390 00:24:03.799 --> 00:24:06.160 you're in your twenties, you meet, you fall in love, 391 00:24:06.400 --> 00:24:09.839 you're building your tribes. You're having kids. Right. The tribe 392 00:24:09.960 --> 00:24:13.880 wants you to get married, they want grandchildren, right, it's 393 00:24:13.920 --> 00:24:18.599 all you know. The tribe is supportive. But later in life, 394 00:24:18.880 --> 00:24:21.640 let's see your mate. You or your mate might have 395 00:24:21.680 --> 00:24:24.880 adult children or god forbid, teenagers. You might have the 396 00:24:25.119 --> 00:24:28.160 spouses still being paid or having some kind of emotional 397 00:24:28.160 --> 00:24:31.599 connection to you. You might have elderly parents, or they 398 00:24:31.680 --> 00:24:35.160 might have elderly parents that may not support the union. 399 00:24:36.240 --> 00:24:39.079 So it's really important that you talk about all these 400 00:24:39.119 --> 00:24:42.880 things and do provide a united front against the forces 401 00:24:42.920 --> 00:24:47.359