Speaker 1: This is doctor Wendy Walsh and you're listening to KFI
Speaker 1: AM six forty, the Doctor Wendy Waalsh Show on demand
Speaker 1: on the iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2: App KFI AM six forty. You have Doctor Wendy Walsh
Speaker 2: with you. This is the Doctor Wendy Walls Show.
Speaker 1: If you know my.
Speaker 2: Show, I have a PhD in clinical psychology. I'm a
Speaker 2: psychology professor and I like to think of myself as
Speaker 2: a relationship journalist because I've written three books on relationships.
Speaker 2: Oh and tonight, you would not believe what we have
Speaker 2: coming up. We've got a new yes, yet another sexual
Speaker 2: orientation that has been identified symbio sexuality. You won't believe
Speaker 2: what this one is. Also, if you're single and over fifty,
Speaker 2: I want you to listen up. I've got some strategies
Speaker 2: for dating someone younger. And I don't mean way younger.
Speaker 2: We're not talking cradle robbers, we are not talking cougars.
Speaker 2: We're talking about the fact you might go on the
Speaker 2: app and meet somebody eight to ten year younger. They're
Speaker 2: still a fully fully fledged grown up. But listen things
Speaker 2: a boy dating someone a little bit younger. And finally,
Speaker 2: let's talk about your marriage and how to fix it?
Speaker 2: The last three segments of this show, This is all
Speaker 2: we're gonna do is I have been reading the research
Speaker 2: and the amazing stuff written by therapists who are in
Speaker 2: the trenches every day with married couples, and I will
Speaker 2: help disseminate some of their great advice for you. Plus,
Speaker 2: I'll be answering your social media questions. If you have
Speaker 2: a relationship question for me, just send it in a DM.
Speaker 2: How about Instagram? Hey, here's sir, Kayla. How you doing?
Speaker 3: I am wonderful, Indy?
Speaker 2: How are you? Can you hear me? Did you run
Speaker 2: out away from that mic? Turn down? Look at your
Speaker 2: phone for a second, just a little bit, TikTok, it happens, Rabouel,
Speaker 2: How are you doing? Excellent? Happy to be here with you. Oh,
Speaker 2: there he is.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: Last week we had all girls. It was a girls show.
Speaker 2: We had oh gosh, I forgot her name. Are Isabelle? Isabelle? Isabella?
Speaker 2: And we had Heather and we had me and Kayla.
Speaker 2: And let me tell you, we needed a male voice
Speaker 2: because we had to depend on our male listeners for
Speaker 2: talkbacks because there were some things we had some conundrums about,
Speaker 2: like what is considered cheating or not, and men are
Speaker 2: a little looser about what is considered cheating. But your
Speaker 2: back roll so you can weigh in if anything like
Speaker 2: that comes up. We have Heather in the newsroom. Hello,
Speaker 2: Win and got everybody here. How are you? I'm god
Speaker 2: did your comedy show go?
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, thank you for asking.
Speaker 2: It was great. It was such a fun crowd. Everybody
Speaker 2: was game to have a good time and it was.
Speaker 2: It was a lot of fun. So you killed it,
Speaker 2: I think so, I hope. So next time you're going
Speaker 2: to have to tell us next time you're on stage,
Speaker 2: I want to come. I will. I will thank you,
Speaker 2: all right, Producer Kayla, do you notice what I send
Speaker 2: you some notes beforehand that I wanted to talk about
Speaker 2: at the beginning of the show, I was just in
Speaker 2: a mood, a mood to do a celebrity relationship round up. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's different because I haven't you know. I don't like
Speaker 2: when people compare their own relationships to celebrity relationships. There's
Speaker 2: really nothing to learn from them because it's usually too
Speaker 2: spoiled baby narcissists performing for the cameras in their little relationship. However,
Speaker 2: they are human beings and sometimes they're doing stuff that
Speaker 2: is kind of newsworthy. For instance, let us analyze this, kaylab.
Speaker 2: So this yesterday, actress Cheryl Hines and former presidential candidate
Speaker 2: Robert F. Kennedy Junior were spotted holding hands. Now here's
Speaker 2: why this is a big deal. And I should tell
Speaker 2: you where they were spotted at. Of course, the Kennedy's
Speaker 2: family compound and Hyena Sport. But this is following the
Speaker 2: death of Robert Kennedy's mother, Ethel. She died on October tenth. So,
Speaker 2: but this is why it's a big deal. Just last month,
Speaker 2: it was revealed that Kennedy allegedly, allegedly I'm saying it again,
Speaker 2: allegedly engaged in an extramarital affair. Nobody's calling it that.
Speaker 2: They're calling it a personal relationship with journalist Olivia Newzy
Speaker 2: after she wrote about him for New York Magazine in
Speaker 2: November of twenty twenty three. She fessed up to it.
Speaker 2: I guess I don't know how it all came out
Speaker 2: or who was gonna out who, And so she's been
Speaker 2: put on like a leave sabbatical. She's not allowed to
Speaker 2: cover him anymore. So and shortly after that relationship service
Speaker 2: at least three other women excuse me, came forward claiming
Speaker 2: that they also had a romantic relationship with Robert Kennedy Junior.
Speaker 2: So back on October fifth, that's a week ago, right,
Speaker 2: People Magazine. See, I go everywhere, not just the scientific journals, Okay,
Speaker 2: I go to the other sources that matter, People Magazine,
Speaker 2: and they said that she was spotted at Starbucks in
Speaker 2: Malibu and she was not wearing her wedding ring. He was.
Speaker 2: Now wait then yesterday, she's at the Kennedy compound. She's
Speaker 2: back to wearing her wedding ring, but he's not. Can
Speaker 2: we break that down, Kayle, what do you think is happening?
Speaker 2: I think they're trying to keep us on our toes,
Speaker 2: but they are totally dating. I think that he's having affairs.
Speaker 2: Their relationship is in crisis, or he was having affairs. Anyway,
Speaker 2: their relationship is in crisis. So she's out and about
Speaker 2: in her neighborhood, no wedding ring on, and she knows
Speaker 2: her picture gets take it everywhere to say, basically, dude,
Speaker 2: I'm going to leave you. This marriage is going to
Speaker 2: break up. Or but wait, go to the Kennedy funeral
Speaker 2: and the Kennedy compound, all of a sudden, wedding ring
Speaker 2: goes back on. She say to the family, I'm a Kennedy.
Speaker 2: I'm here home right like, you're not going to take
Speaker 2: me off this Kennedy pedestal.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 2: We'll see. It's one to watch to see what happens
Speaker 2: with these two. I wish them the best. Actually, it's
Speaker 2: hard when your relationships in crisis. Now, speaking of lovers,
Speaker 2: Kylie Jenner and Timothy Shallamay, they've been together since twenty
Speaker 2: twenty three. This is almost the end of twenty twenty four.
Speaker 2: Can young people that young be together almost two years?
Speaker 2: She's twenty seven, he's twenty eight. I guess they could anyway,
Speaker 2: they were spotted in New York City having to know
Speaker 2: a little pizza date on a Saturday night. But what
Speaker 2: I like, and this is the thing I wanted to
Speaker 2: say about their celebrity relationship, is that they were rumored
Speaker 2: to have started dating in April of twenty twenty three,
Speaker 2: but they never came out in public together until September,
Speaker 2: so April May, June, July, August, So they spent five
Speaker 2: months cooning and hiding and growing intimacy. This is the
Speaker 2: message for all of us. Look just because you're dating
Speaker 2: somebody new or hot, don't post on Instagram, don't like
Speaker 2: get out there right away. Wait to see what it is, right,
Speaker 2: Spend some time getting to know each other. Relationships need
Speaker 2: to grow in private. Okay. Also, I did not know this,
Speaker 2: did you know? Alfre Woodard? First of all, she's seventy one. Now,
Speaker 2: how is that possible? She looks like she's forty. How
Speaker 2: is that possible? Anyway, she's been married to her husband
Speaker 2: for forty one years. Forty one years, they have two kids,
Speaker 2: and she just says, I think she told one of
Speaker 2: those tablets. I think it's People magazine. She said, it's
Speaker 2: a constant discovery and renogation, renegotiating and continuing to fall
Speaker 2: in love. I love this renegotiating. We're going to talk
Speaker 2: about that later in the show, How you can fix
Speaker 2: your marriage, save your marriage, renegotiate your marriage. She also
Speaker 2: stressed the importance of laughter in her love relationship. She said,
Speaker 2: even in difficulty, quote, you can cry about it, you
Speaker 2: can argue about it, and sometimes in the middle of
Speaker 2: it all you don't know why, but something will make
Speaker 2: you laugh. And that's a sign of somebody who has healthy,
Speaker 2: healthy conflict in a healthy relationship. And congratulations them especially
Speaker 2: he's a writer, producer and she's an actress and they've
Speaker 2: been in the limelight all these years and still managed
Speaker 2: to stay together for forty one years. So that's a
Speaker 2: really really big deal. Oh and Kayla, do you remember
Speaker 2: Julia Fox, the actress She had a brief little thing
Speaker 2: with Kanye Oh yeah, yes, yes, twenty twenty one, like
Speaker 2: during COVID right, yeah, So now she's talking about it,
Speaker 2: even though supposedly he asked her to sign an NDA. Anyway,
Speaker 2: she's saying that he used her, that she was used
Speaker 2: as his pawn, that he offered to get her a
Speaker 2: boob job, he asked her to sign a DNA, he
Speaker 2: made stylists put an outfit on. You're going out with Kanye,
Speaker 2: what do you expect? This is what he does. He
Speaker 2: shapes his muses and you went along with it for
Speaker 2: however many weeks. Then she goes on to say, the
Speaker 2: only reason I got out of it, I didn't fall
Speaker 2: down this spiral was because no man, no matter how
Speaker 2: rich or famous, is worth one minute away from my child.
Speaker 2: Apparently she had a three year old or a baby
Speaker 2: at the time. Because I think the baby's three now,
Speaker 2: so you think, oh, great, good mother. She understands Kanye
Speaker 2: probably not a good healthy relationship for her, and she's
Speaker 2: focused on her kid. But then later in this interview
Speaker 2: with Variety back in April, she says, I want my
Speaker 2: kid to completely own nepotism. She said, if I'm going
Speaker 2: to be famous and have this highly coveted thing, I
Speaker 2: want to share it with my son. We need him
Speaker 2: to be a nepo baby and he needs to own it. Okay.
Speaker 2: So she's just love and fame, and she loved the
Speaker 2: Kanye thing and she loves she can still talk about it.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying, all right, when we come back.
Speaker 2: There is a new sexual orientation out there. It is
Speaker 2: called symbio sexual. Symbio sexual, I'll tell you I am
Speaker 2: not this. That's what I'll tell you, and I'll explain
Speaker 2: what it is when we come back. You are listening
Speaker 2: to the Doctor Wendy Walls Show on KFI AM six
Speaker 2: forty with Live Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 3: You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
Speaker 3: AM six forty.
Speaker 2: KFI six you have Dr Wendy Walsh with you. This
Speaker 2: is the Doctor Wendy Walls Show. So we just got
Speaker 2: used to a bunch of terms. Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, Holly
Speaker 2: han A, you don't know some of those DEMI andro
Speaker 2: I know. Wait, okay, I'm gonna break them all down
Speaker 2: for you in just a second. There is a new
Speaker 2: sexual orientation on the rise. It's called symbia, oh, sexuality,
Speaker 2: symbio simbio, symbio sexuality. Some people are calling it an
Speaker 2: attraction style, others a sexual orientation. It's so new they
Speaker 2: don't know what it is. Now here's a list of
Speaker 2: the ten most common sexual orientations that you're probably familiar with.
Speaker 2: Heterosexual often referred to as straight, and that means that
Speaker 2: somebody has a sexual attraction to individuals of the opposite
Speaker 2: or different gender. Okay, heterosexual, Homosexual, sometimes called gay or lesbian,
Speaker 2: depending if you're well, you know they're gay women to lesbian,
Speaker 2: No lesbian men, so me yeah. Gay is primarily used
Speaker 2: for men, that can be applied to women, Lesbians used
Speaker 2: for female. Okay, attraction to individuals of the same gender.
Speaker 2: Then there's bisexual to more than one gender, often both
Speaker 2: male and female. Then pan sexual attraction to just people individuals,
Speaker 2: regardless of their gender, their gender identity, their sexual apparatus
Speaker 2: below the belt doesn't matter. If you love them, you
Speaker 2: love them. Then there's a sexual little or no sexual
Speaker 2: attraction towards anybody at all, although you got to understand
Speaker 2: people who are asexual still may have it's very common
Speaker 2: to have romantic attraction, so they want relationships but no
Speaker 2: sex please. Then there's demisexual. I like, that's me now
Speaker 2: that I'm older and more mature. A demisexual is somebody
Speaker 2: whose sexual attraction develops only after forming a deep emotional connection,
Speaker 2: So it doesn't matter what they look like, doesn't matter
Speaker 2: how much money they have. Well maybe all those things
Speaker 2: kind of matter to but basically, once you feel emotionally
Speaker 2: in love, then you feel aroused. Then you've probably heard
Speaker 2: the term queer, and queer is just a really broad,
Speaker 2: non specific term for all kinds of sexual orientations outside
Speaker 2: of heteronormativity. Outside of heterosexual, then there's polysexual attraction to
Speaker 2: multiple partners at the same time. Then there's androsexual. Now
Speaker 2: hould the horses when you listen to androsexual primary attraction
Speaker 2: to masculinity. Masculinity, So it doesn't matter what gender somebody
Speaker 2: is if they present masculine, they could be a masculine woman,
Speaker 2: a masculine man, a masculine non binary. No, non binary
Speaker 2: would be both, so a masculine man or woman. Then
Speaker 2: there's guy no sexual primary attraction to femininity or feminine
Speaker 2: presenting people regardless of gender. All right, so here's the
Speaker 2: new one. And this was published in an academic journal. Okay,
Speaker 2: A reason study published in the Archives of Actual Behavior
Speaker 2: explored the phenomenon of symbio sexuality get ready, which refers
Speaker 2: to one's attraction to the dynamic energy between two people
Speaker 2: in an existing relationship. Supposedly, symbio sexuality has been observed
Speaker 2: across a wide range of ages, racial background, socioeconomic classes,
Speaker 2: gender identities. Not surprising to me, most people from the
Speaker 2: study who experience symbio sexuality identified themselves as polyamorous or queer. Okay,
Speaker 2: so here's what they reported in the study that they
Speaker 2: were most These people were most attracted to in relationships energy,
Speaker 2: just the energy. The people in this study said they
Speaker 2: were attracted to the energy and the cohesion displayed by
Speaker 2: the couples. In other words, their secure attachment was very arousing.
Speaker 2: And then there's charisma, the chemistry and magnetism of a couple.
Speaker 2: How about power and strength? Oh, power couples, They're sexy
Speaker 2: to some people. The power created by the partnership. Then
Speaker 2: the intimacy and relationship quality. People say in this study
Speaker 2: that they're attracted to couples who showed a strong, healthy,
Speaker 2: and loving relationship marked by good communication. What now you
Speaker 2: want in on it too? Okay, I see physical appearance
Speaker 2: as a couple. Some found the way couples look together
Speaker 2: physically appealing. Kanye are you listening? Because you know he
Speaker 2: completely art directs everybody he dates, and if you look
Speaker 2: at pictures of him out with couples, he tries to
Speaker 2: make that whole unit be something. Okay, here's why I
Speaker 2: think that satio sexuality, No, sapio sexual is attracted to
Speaker 2: somebody who is highly intelligent, and you're attracted to brains.
Speaker 2: Symbio Symbio sexuality is what we're talking about. Here's the
Speaker 2: reason I think it's missing the mark when it comes
Speaker 2: to sexuality. There's so many better explanations. Let's just go
Speaker 2: back to the work of Kinsey. Kinsey would have said
Speaker 2: that there's a scale that we all fall on, whether
Speaker 2: it is his scale was from one to six, six
Speaker 2: being completely homosexual in both fantasy and behavior, a one
Speaker 2: being completely heterosexual in both fantasy and behavior, and Kinsey
Speaker 2: felt like, we're all somewhere like a three. Okay, we
Speaker 2: may not be behaving that way, but there may be
Speaker 2: some fantasies, et cetera. So evolutionary psychologists like doctor David Buss,
Speaker 2: who wrote the book The Evolution of Desire, would say
Speaker 2: that we're all primed for bisexuality depending on the situation,
Speaker 2: the number of mates available, because we use sex for
Speaker 2: way more things than just reproduction. We use it as
Speaker 2: a stress reduction, we use it for social climbing, we
Speaker 2: use it for pleasure, we use it just to relax.
Speaker 2: All right, Then there's attachment style, right. Psychologists will look
Speaker 2: at well, if somebody has maybe an anxious attachment style,
Speaker 2: might they look at these couples who are so well
Speaker 2: bonded and think, Oh, that's what I want. That's what
Speaker 2: I want. I'm going to be aroused by that by
Speaker 2: seeing it. So what's not clear in this definition is
Speaker 2: whether this person who's attracted to the energy and this
Speaker 2: couple wants to make a threesome out of it, or
Speaker 2: they just want to watch.
Speaker 3: I don't.
Speaker 2: I'm not clear about all this. But anyway, if somebody
Speaker 2: asks you if you are a symbio sexual, just say
Speaker 2: I'm everything. Because we all are we have the ability
Speaker 2: to beond everything. Just say all right when we come back.
Speaker 2: I want to remind you of going to social media
Speaker 2: in a little bit. So if you do have a
Speaker 2: relationship question, send it to my We're going Instagram Instagram
Speaker 2: at Dr Wendy Walsh at doctor Wendywell. Send me a
Speaker 2: private DM producer Kayla will read it. I'll keep your
Speaker 2: identity a secret all that, but send me some some good,
Speaker 2: juicy questions and a reminder. I'm not a therapist. I'm
Speaker 2: a psychology professor, but I have written three books on relationships,
Speaker 2: and I have a lot of life experience, so I
Speaker 2: love to weigh in. Like, for instance, if you're somebody
Speaker 2: who's over fifty and you're dating, you might come across
Speaker 2: somebody who's a we tad younger. I don't mean way younger,
Speaker 2: I just mean we tad younger. Are there new rules
Speaker 2: for this? Is it different if you're dating somebody who's
Speaker 2: just you know, ten years younger than you. Let's talk
Speaker 2: about it when we come back. You are listening to
Speaker 2: the Dr Wendy wallsh Show on KFI AM six forty
Speaker 2: We Live Everywhere. On the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 3: You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
Speaker 3: AM six forty.
Speaker 2: Kf I Am six forty. You have Doctor Wendy Walsh
Speaker 2: with you. This is the Doctor Wendy Walls Show. Kayla,
Speaker 2: I love that song too. So you know, the fastest
Speaker 2: growing group of people on dating apps are people over
Speaker 2: the age of fifty. I'm going to say something I've
Speaker 2: been saying many many times, but in case you're new
Speaker 2: to the show or you've forgotten this, there is no
Speaker 2: such thing as a failed relationship. Everybody grows, Everybody learns.
Speaker 2: Everybody moves on and hopefully is a better person in
Speaker 2: the next relationship, or learns to choose better or.
Speaker 3: What have you.
Speaker 2: They're all just human experience. So remember, like I always say,
Speaker 2: when till Death Do us Part was invented, death was
Speaker 2: pretty imminent. So if you got married in the year
Speaker 2: nineteen hundred and you profess till death to us part,
Speaker 2: the average length of that marriage was about twelve years.
Speaker 2: Because of famines. I think Wanda Sykes has a funny thing.
Speaker 2: Says back when people said, I do you know, there
Speaker 2: would be a swarm of locusts that would kill your
Speaker 2: man once he drove you crazy, So it was fine,
Speaker 2: you're out. I'm married in nineteen ninety. The average length
Speaker 2: of that marriage is twelve years. But now leaving by divorce.
Speaker 2: Generally people stay together long enough that it would take,
Speaker 2: whether they had kids or not, to get kids up
Speaker 2: and out of the nest. And not so long ago,
Speaker 2: it only took twelve to fourteen years. Well a long
Speaker 2: time ago. Now, of course, they're taking a lot longer
Speaker 2: to launch. However, I digress. You will see people dating
Speaker 2: at every single age across the lifespan. Our long life
Speaker 2: expectancies mean that people may find themselves single in their fifties,
Speaker 2: in their sixties, in their seventies and getting back out
Speaker 2: there and dating. And let me tell you things have changed,
Speaker 2: all right. Please learn the dating apps. I do segments
Speaker 2: all the time on how to use the dating apps
Speaker 2: and how to protect yourself from or mand scams and
Speaker 2: all that. I don't want to talk about that today.
Speaker 2: That's a whole nother subject, a whole nother show. I
Speaker 2: want to talk about, like, well, your age range is
Speaker 2: going to be for people to date. So here's the thing.
Speaker 2: When you do go on the app, you search based
Speaker 2: on age range. So, for instance, when I was on
Speaker 2: the apps and I found my Julio, eventually I think
Speaker 2: I dated up to ten years younger and up to
Speaker 2: ten years older than me, I should tell you I
Speaker 2: didn't really like dating any younger guys. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I just kaylie, you would think I would have liked
Speaker 2: dating younger men looking fit, Yeah, but I felt like
Speaker 2: their teacher. I want to like look up and learn
Speaker 2: from somebody, right. So anyway, Julio's super smart, so I
Speaker 2: could keep learning from him, and I learned from him
Speaker 2: every day, like today how to install a dimmer switch. Anyway,
Speaker 2: So this idea of dating somebody a little bit younger
Speaker 2: can feel really exciting, but it can also feel terrifying.
Speaker 2: So if you end up being the object of desire
Speaker 2: of a much younger mate, it can for some people
Speaker 2: it makes them feel younger themselves, but other people do
Speaker 2: the comparison and they actually feel like, oh, I feel
Speaker 2: old around this person. It's all an inside job, right,
Speaker 2: and how you feel. But there are a few things
Speaker 2: to keep in mind if you do decide to date someone,
Speaker 2: say a decade younger. First, I am a professor of
Speaker 2: developmental psychology. I can assure you that, quite literally, age
Speaker 2: is only a number. Biologically speaking, there exist old young
Speaker 2: people and young old people. So you know, for instance,
Speaker 2: at the beginning of our life span, you can go
Speaker 2: into a kindergarten classroom and you can find a bunch
Speaker 2: of five year olds still crying their eyes out and
Speaker 2: peeing their pants, and over in the corner there's another
Speaker 2: five year old quietly reading. Right, You've got this big
Speaker 2: range of how we develop, and at the end of
Speaker 2: the life span, same thing. In the last few decades,
Speaker 2: there are some people that appear to grow old quicker,
Speaker 2: either biologically or socially for what a reason. Now, our
Speaker 2: cellular aging, the biological piece, is linked to our genetics,
Speaker 2: it's linked big time to our health habits along the way,
Speaker 2: but also to our social attitudes. Right, if we feel young,
Speaker 2: I mean, one of the great things about the last
Speaker 2: ten years of my life is I've been on a
Speaker 2: college campus hanging out with twenty year olds, and that'll
Speaker 2: keep you young for sure. So my advice here is
Speaker 2: just because somebody's birth certificate reads younger than you, it
Speaker 2: doesn't mean that they're actually biologically younger. So don't worry
Speaker 2: about the age thing. But you should be concerned about
Speaker 2: some practical considerations. So when you cocoon and fall in
Speaker 2: love in this wonderful romantic compartment, it feels so exciting.
Speaker 2: But eventually all relationships have to go somewhere. You see,
Speaker 2: relationships are a bridge between tribes, and those tribes might
Speaker 2: not be as inviting as you hope. So when you're young, okay,
Speaker 2: you're in your twenties, you meet, you fall in love,
Speaker 2: you're building your tribes. You're having kids. Right. The tribe
Speaker 2: wants you to get married, they want grandchildren, right, it's
Speaker 2: all you know. The tribe is supportive. But later in life,
Speaker 2: let's see your mate. You or your mate might have
Speaker 2: adult children or god forbid, teenagers. You might have the
Speaker 2: spouses still being paid or having some kind of emotional
Speaker 2: connection to you. You might have elderly parents, or they
Speaker 2: might have elderly parents that may not support the union.
Speaker 2: So it's really important that you talk about all these
Speaker 2: things and do provide a united front against the forces
Speaker 2: of tribal warfare. We'll call it that. And also don't
Speaker 2: forget this, even if it's just ten years, the older
Speaker 2: partner always has the most power. The senior lover usually
Speaker 2: has more financial security and that with money comes clout. Also,
Speaker 2: they just have more wisdom, more life experience, even just
Speaker 2: ten years more. So if you are the senior person,
Speaker 2: I just want to say, be careful about abusing your power. Okay,
Speaker 2: encourage your partner to share in all the decision making.
Speaker 2: You know, there is some delicious wisdom that comes with age,
Speaker 2: and it is wonderful to share it, right, But it's
Speaker 2: important that you think of yourself as a benevolent leader,
Speaker 2: show patience and understanding when that youngster that ten years
Speaker 2: younger than you. Okay, so you're sixty and they're fifty,
Speaker 2: there's still a difference. Honestly, there's still a difference.
Speaker 1: All right.
Speaker 2: When we come back, I am going to my social media.
Speaker 2: Have you been into my Instagram?
Speaker 3: There?
Speaker 1: Kay?
Speaker 2: Let you find some good questions for us, great questions.
Speaker 2: She's she's always into it. Right now, I can hear her,
Speaker 2: click click click. All right, when we come back, if
Speaker 2: you want to send me a relationship question, please do.
Speaker 2: The handle is at doctor Wendy Walsh send me a
Speaker 2: DM on Instagram. It is always my pleasure to weigh
Speaker 2: in on your love lives. You are listening to the
Speaker 2: Doctor Wendy Walls Show and k I Am six six forty.
Speaker 2: We're live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 3: You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
Speaker 3: AM six forty.
Speaker 2: K I Am six forty. You have Doctor Wendy Walsh
Speaker 2: with you. This is the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show, and
Speaker 2: this is the time of the show where I am
Speaker 2: taking your calls. No, I'm not taking calls. I'm going
Speaker 2: to social media. That's what I'm doing. Are we taking calls? Kyle?
Speaker 2: Should we do that? I don't know. I'm just like
Speaker 2: they always write me more intimate things when it's the DM.
Speaker 2: You know. Yeah, we got some good ones on social
Speaker 2: You guys an't really go on okay, so and some
Speaker 2: of them. I was just scanning a couple that you
Speaker 2: just said to me, and I'm like, okay, let's talk.
Speaker 2: Here we go. Just a reminder everybody, I'm not a therapist.
Speaker 2: I'm a psychology professor, but I've written three books on
Speaker 2: relationships and if anything, I say on the air makes
Speaker 2: you feel uncomfortable, you should call a clinical therapist and
Speaker 2: get an appointment. All right, dear doctor Wendy. I'm new
Speaker 2: to LA and I'm starting to meet really affluent men
Speaker 2: who I'm not sure how to carry myself when dating
Speaker 2: them versus your average Joe. Is there a way I
Speaker 2: should carry myself with these big name men? Okay? Stop?
Speaker 2: Do you not listen to my show? It's all about
Speaker 2: being authentic. I don't want you to bring a character
Speaker 2: to the date. And I mean, I know it seems
Speaker 2: wonderful when a guy has money. Guys like it when
Speaker 2: a woman has money, too, but it should be just dessert.
Speaker 2: I mean, the thing that keeps people together isn't the prenup.
Speaker 2: I hope it's it's the emotional connection. And you should
Speaker 2: be real. You should be authentic. I have no special
Speaker 2: advice except be yourself. Just completely be yourself and the
Speaker 2: right one will hang around. And also, just talking to
Speaker 2: someone who has dated a few affluent men in her life,
Speaker 2: I want to tell you this is not a statement
Speaker 2: about every rich guy out there. So if you're listening
Speaker 2: and you're in your Porsche and you're driving to your
Speaker 2: wine cellar in Newport Beach, just saying, if that's you
Speaker 2: and you do you, Okay, it's fine. But I did
Speaker 2: meet a lot of men in my day who made
Speaker 2: making money the most important thing in their life because
Speaker 2: underneath they were really insecure, and so they kind of
Speaker 2: fronted with their stuff and they also the other thing
Speaker 2: that bothered me and why I wasn't really attracted to
Speaker 2: rich men is that they were always trying to control me.
Speaker 2: And I didn't like being controlled. I like being independent.
Speaker 2: So just saying, heads up, they might be material and
Speaker 2: you might be the material girl, but then where's the authenticity?
Speaker 2: Where's the realness?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 2: All right? Moving on? He doctor Wendy. I saw my
Speaker 2: friend's husband on Tinder. The last time I got involved
Speaker 2: in somebody else's relationship, oo, I was physically assaulted. Oh dear,
Speaker 2: I'm terrified to get involved. But I think she should
Speaker 2: know what should I do? Well? I do believe that
Speaker 2: the truth always comes to light eventually. If this friend
Speaker 2: eventually finds out that you knew and did not tell her,
Speaker 2: then she's going to think like you're not her friend.
Speaker 2: On the other hand, if she's in denial and you
Speaker 2: tell her, then you've become her enemy. Right, so you're
Speaker 2: kind of and here you also have a little you know,
Speaker 2: PTSD from the last time you tried this, right, So
Speaker 2: my advice is not textbook. It's just girlfriend to girlfriend.
Speaker 2: Take that screenshot of him on Tinder and send it
Speaker 2: to somebody else who can be the deliverer of the
Speaker 2: bad name. That's what I say. Find a way to
Speaker 2: give it anonymously in some way or space, and then
Speaker 2: never mention it again. Step out, step out, That's what
Speaker 2: I say. But I do think the truth should always prevail,
Speaker 2: all right, Dear doctor Wendy, I texted a guy multiple
Speaker 2: times with no response when he decided to end things suddenly.
Speaker 2: I think you mean after he decided to end things,
Speaker 2: you kept texting him. How do I get past the shame?
Speaker 2: I'm so embarrassed. Okay, this is a great topic because
Speaker 2: I believe the key to self esteem, the key to
Speaker 2: good mental health, the key to healthy relationships is learning
Speaker 2: how to tolerate shame. If you can raise your shame tolerance,
Speaker 2: your ability to go You know what I tried, I
Speaker 2: struck out. Oh well, moving on, I'm human, right. I
Speaker 2: remember one time when I was back on those apps
Speaker 2: before I met Majulio and I had one of those
Speaker 2: delightful conversations with the guy. Now, I have no idea
Speaker 2: what I possibly could have said or didn't say or whatever,
Speaker 2: but it felt like we really had a connection. We
Speaker 2: stayed on the phone for like an hour. He was
Speaker 2: really fun and interesting, and we talked about getting together
Speaker 2: very soon. And I can't remember what happened next. There
Speaker 2: was something, there was some reason why I was supposed
Speaker 2: to contact him, like, I'll call you to Marrol and
Speaker 2: see what my schedule is whatever. I send them a
Speaker 2: text and he ghost me. Right, there's like saying nothing,
Speaker 2: and so I send another text because I'm like, maybe
Speaker 2: it's the gods of technology, right, He could have been
Speaker 2: in a dead zone and not gotten my text. So
Speaker 2: I texted, hey, was it something I said? Can you
Speaker 2: just let me know? Silence?
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 2: So what I did is I took my pretty little
Speaker 2: brain and I told it to think this. Wow, he
Speaker 2: doesn't have very good relationship skills. He's not really good
Speaker 2: with communication, he's not good at expressing his feelings. That
Speaker 2: person would not be a good husband for me. I
Speaker 2: am so glad he behaved this way right away. What
Speaker 2: if he dragged me down the road and then later
Speaker 2: I got hurt. That'd be terrible. So I know, I'm
Speaker 2: like Auntie Wendy, here, don't be embarrassed that you texted
Speaker 2: a guy a few times. It's okay. You're being real
Speaker 2: and authentic and that's who you are, and that's okay.
Speaker 2: And the next guy is gonna answer back right away
Speaker 2: because he deserves it. Roll. Do we have time for
Speaker 2: one more? Okay, here we go. Dear doctor Wendy, I'm
Speaker 2: seeing someone, but I don't think we are a good fit.
Speaker 2: We've only gone out a handful of times, and I
Speaker 2: think a text should be fine in breaking things off.
Speaker 2: Should I meet him in person? Or is a text fine?
Speaker 2: What should I say? Oh? This is like now I'm
Speaker 2: Emily Post. It's etiquette. Now, it's not even relationship advice.
Speaker 2: It's like what is the prop bro to gall? All right,
Speaker 2: So my answer is, have you slept with them? If
Speaker 2: you slept with them, you need to at least talk
Speaker 2: on the phone. I don't think you need to meet
Speaker 2: in person. Meeting in person is for like if you're
Speaker 2: living together or married or been dating a year, Like,
Speaker 2: come on, you've had a few dates, pick up the phone,
Speaker 2: and say hey, you know, I'm not really feeling it.
Speaker 2: And also the words you use are really important. Just
Speaker 2: say something like, you know, I think you're a really
Speaker 2: great person. Say some like positive things about it, like
Speaker 2: this and that, but otherwise I just don't think we're
Speaker 2: a good match. I think there's probably somebody else out
Speaker 2: there who's a much better fit for you. See, keep
Speaker 2: it on him and what he needs, and just say
Speaker 2: I don't I'm not really feeling it. And again, here's
Speaker 2: one thing that's really important. Whenever you're breaking up with somebody,
Speaker 2: don't give them too much information. Whatever the informator like,
Speaker 2: I just don't be in here's why, because then you
Speaker 2: give them something to argue with. If you just say no,
Speaker 2: just doesn't feel like a good match and just say that,
Speaker 2: don't get into why, because then they'll start our So
Speaker 2: don't even worry about that. All right, Oh, the big
Speaker 2: question about sexual desire is coming up. Okay, when we
Speaker 2: come back, somebody wants to know about low libido and
Speaker 2: an overly sexual partner. Let's talk about this when we
Speaker 2: come back. You are listening to the Doctor Wendy Walls
Speaker 2: Show on KFI AM six forty were live everywhere on
Speaker 2: the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 1: You've been listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh. You can always
Speaker 1: hear us live on KFI Am six forty from seven
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