Speaker 1: Good morning from Hell.
Speaker 2: I am Chris and I'm Debt, and my eternal punishment
is to do this podcast where we interview everyone in Hell.
And I'm joined as always by the younger brother of Satan, Clayton.
Speaker 3: Hello, how do you do?
Speaker 1: How to do? Chris? That's my breast smell. That's great.
Hate No, no, not liking it. I had a lot
of milk today, A lot of milk. That's good. That's good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, try to eat cereal for fiber. Need more fiber.
Speaker 1: I'm just shitting trapannel lately and it just really does
not feel good.
Speaker 3: I'm getting up there in years.
Speaker 1: Man, Once you get past thirty five thousands, you know,
things really changing your body. So I'm just trying to
eat more fiber, more fiber. Just take better care of
my silver. Went for a walk a wuck. Yeah, I
thought that would help, but I did it. No. No,
I'm just hot and now we're smell like milk. So anyways, cool,
Sorry Clayton, thanks bro. Yeah, So who's our guests this week? Oh,
get right into it. We don't have any funny opening bits,
just to be talking about milk, okay, okay, yeah, No,
I mean I'm just I'm feeling off my game, Chris, Yeah,
I know that where thirty some episodes pasted it. Yeah,
I lost count I stopped counting. But we got our
asses beat by Heaven. It was a tough defeat and
it really stunk, and they took us as prisoners of
war and that really sucked.
Speaker 3: Being up there in heaven, right, that was terrible, right, yeah,
being up in heaven.
Speaker 1: Hell, yeah, there you go. That's the spirit. So like,
I'm thinking, like, what can we do? Huh? How can
we get them back? Oh? And I'm thinking we were
too in their face. We're too big, too bombastic. We
brought all the soldiers out, and I think we need
to go gorilla style. Real, Let's get some bananas, Let's
get Donkey Kong. We actually get gorillas to fight Heaven. No,
we can't afford guerrillas. Girls go to heaven because they're
actually sentient. I tried getting the one. Coco is the one? Yeah, yeah,
sign language? Yeah, yeah, they're actually they're at a Oh
what's her face's funeral? Was this old lady?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Jane Jane goodn. I mean she's got good in her name.
Of course he's going to heaven. Good all yeah, no,
good all yeah. So anyways, we can't get the gorillas,
but we're gonna go gorilla tactics. Uh huh. And so
I got a guy. Think of this as the beginning
of an action movie. I'm assembling the team. Yeah, okay,
you get your snipe Bert, all right, that's you. What
you're good with range weapons? Right, I've never shot a gun.
Speaker 3: No here, take this, take this, hit that fly over there.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm gonna work on that. We're gonna work on that. Okay,
safety's on so always. Obviously I'm the leader and I'm
like the action hand to hand combatants.
Speaker 3: So like when we get in we're doing stealth mission.
Speaker 1: I got it, but I needed a demolition guy and
I needed a tech guy. Unfortunately I found a guy
that's both. And his name is also Guy. Oh my guy,
I'm talking about Guy Fox. Guy Fox, get in here.
Speaker 4: Guy, Hey, what's up? Well? You need someone blowed up?
He Wow, I'm the guy.
Speaker 1: He's the guy.
Speaker 2: It's him you look at him, so like Guy Fox
from England from.
Speaker 4: My old Guys. I'm the origin of Guy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the original guy. He's the v for Vendetta Guy.
Speaker 4: No creative libtyes with that. But yeah, are you.
Speaker 1: Not getting like residuals or anything.
Speaker 4: No, I feel like I really dropped the bull when
it came to like getting an agent merchandizing. Like all
of the effigies of me, I've never seen a single
shilling off, any of that shit shilling, and I think,
honestly it's bullshit bumber.
Speaker 2: For people who are I guess American and don't know
you're you know what's America? Oh oh, oh, that's right.
It's a long story, Colin. It is a long story,
you know.
Speaker 4: I've only seen it for below.
Speaker 1: So yeah.
Speaker 2: But yeah, so you're famous in Great Britain for I
guess trying to blow up England.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they did say I was trying to blow up
the whole country, but once again, just horseshit. I didn't
even come up with it. Really, if you really want
to know what I was doing, I was stood next
to some gunpowder with wood on it. Oh, I mean,
is that the worst crime? But I mean what else
did I do?
Speaker 1: I think that that's pretty rad though, I mean, like,
good damn right, it is, and it almost worked. It
didn't the bombs didn't go off. You didn't exploit it.
Speaker 4: I was sort of caught with my thumb up my
ass there. I was like I was getting everything ready
doing the dry run, and I had some really long matches,
but was really long, and I just couldn't get it
all off with time.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, so you didn't actually do much yet yet yet?
Speaker 1: Yeah, because guy, I've got an opportunity for you. It's
time for redemption. It's time for you to make things
go kobboom all right, man, because we're going after the
big dogs. We're gonna blow up Heaven. We're gonna make
Heaven go to Kingdom come all right?
Speaker 4: Hell yeah, hell yeah.
Speaker 1: Isn't Heaven already Kingdom Come? I was thought Kingdom come
was like the stuff that the king, that's how he
makes his like next.
Speaker 4: In line king come?
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, same thing. Yeah right.
Speaker 4: You want me to use similar tactics. I mean, even
though it didn't work the first time, I know the
mistakes what I made the first time. So I'm thinking
do it like we did before. We'll rent a building
across the street from Heaven. Yeah right, and tunnel under Heaven.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, Chris, can you get on Zillo and look
up real estate in Heaven and see what it costs
to get us a rental up there, because guy, I
was thinking like big picture, like, oh, we're gonna go in,
We're gonna blow him up, and I'm gonna see it.
Con I didn't really think of you. You're presenting a
lot of logistics that I haven't really thought of. But
that's why you're here.
Speaker 4: Guy, I've got to talk to like at least three
other people down here to you know, get the gunpowder,
get the barrels made and stuff. Maybe get a ladder
to Heaven.
Speaker 1: That might be a big ladder. Okay, Chris put that
on the list. We need to get the ladder. We
need to get the rental space you need to get
How do we carry the gunpowder up the ladder to Heaven? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I don't have access to Zillow and Hell, but Redfinn
because it's Red, I can't.
Speaker 4: Oh we do have right yeah yeah yeah, yah, yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes us red read Yeah and Zeus has
a spot okay yeah, but it's pricey Okay, Well.
Speaker 1: You know we can work with a budget. We can
find some financiers. Because that's like I got my sniper, Chris,
I got hand to hand combat me. Still, I got
my demo. Guy, I got my tech guy. Guy, we
just need to find like a money guy. We can
do that, We can source that. Do you know any
rich people? Guy? Yeah? Guy, you got any guys?
Speaker 3: Guy?
Speaker 4: Uh? Well, I mean I knew the king. Okay, well,
I didn't really know him. He sort of pointed and
laughed while I was being tortured. Oh but I mean.
Speaker 1: You know the kingdom calm. I forgot about that.
Speaker 4: Ye yeah, yeah, you have the crown estate.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Hey, it's a foot in the door, though. Guy,
write that down, Chris, I could probably get the king,
the king. Do you know which one it was?
Speaker 4: The Scottish one?
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, cool, right, cool that there's a down that
helps one of them. That's fine, that's fine.
Speaker 3: We're gonna get it. And you know what to kind
of update you.
Speaker 1: There's been advances in explosions, so we can do something
even bigger than gunpowder.
Speaker 3: I don't know if you know about that.
Speaker 4: No, I don't know about that. What else happened? What
happened after unpowder? Uh?
Speaker 1: See four nuclear bombs? Nuclear atom splitting? Do you know
about adam splitting to your nose?
Speaker 4: Adam?
Speaker 3: Okay, well you got split? I guess yet quartered right.
Speaker 4: I got split four ways. Yeah, obviously I didn't want
all of the rest of the hung drawn cord. I
just I heard hung and I thought, I'll stop you
right there, I'll do that, huh. And then they did
the rest after I died. I think they took my
limbs in at different corners of Do you think they
take everyone? If they hang draw and quart of people,
do they take everyone? Like is cornwall just full of
like left legs? Or do they mix it up?
Speaker 1: Like do you think that there's like a region that
specifies in the body part that they accept, yeah, or
do they just like do they mix it up so
that they just go different quarters or is it roll
the dice. I think they don't want a Frankenstein situation
on their hands, so I think it would make sense
to like have all of the left legs in one place.
That way, like you can't as symbol a body from
all the mixed match pieces.
Speaker 4: Yeah, then if lightnings sdrikes and does something weird, it's
just like a bundle of legs and not Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's a good idea for potential.
Speaker 4: Leg mmie you thinking leg my for Heaven?
Speaker 1: I like that. Yeah, see this is why we brought
guy on. He knows these things. He's thinking ahead, So
write that down cross second.
Speaker 4: Maybe fifteen sixteen thousand legs with nukes on. Okay, stroll
it to heaven. Yeah, okay it we'll just walk right
in or they will yeah, yeah, and then what are
they gonna hang my fricking ankle idiots?
Speaker 1: I think so leg nukes.
Speaker 3: That's good. I like that, you know.
Speaker 1: Actually, guy, I've been storing up, so I've got my
garage next door packed to the broom. C four we
got like, yeah, how many palettes? Like eight palettes? I
know you know what that is, but like, I'll let
you go play with it when we're done recording the episode.
Speaker 3: I think you're gonna love it. Palettes is like barrels but.
Speaker 4: Bigger, yeah, okay, big barrels. Eight barrels, yeah, but big
old monkey barrels.
Speaker 3: Yes, but with like imagine like Plato but it goes boom.
Speaker 1: That's C four. Do you know what Plato is?
Speaker 4: You're saying stuff today that I don't know what it is,
but it all sounds great. Sea four Plato nuke, Yeah,
it sounds excellent.
Speaker 3: You're leaving this place, change man, You're gonna have a
lot of knowled.
Speaker 4: Oh I'm leaving Hell or you just mean the room, No,
just the room.
Speaker 1: You know, you got to say, yeah.
Speaker 4: I've got a great situation down here.
Speaker 2: As part of the mission, we might eat going up
to the bottom of heaven or yeah, yeah, but you'll
have to come back with us though.
Speaker 4: That's fine.
Speaker 1: You mentioned your situation down here is pretty great. There,
let tell us about it. Is there a girl fox?
Speaker 4: Uh? You know, I got some uh, I got some
lady folks on the go.
Speaker 3: That's more than Chris got tell you that much.
Speaker 4: Well, you know, I'm into some weird shit. Oh, we're
working with Hell rules. So all my women, you know,
I come like blow them up and then go back together.
And I could just blow them up again and do
them and blow up.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 3: Yeah that sounds like a spicy bedroom.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, in a threesome, you blow him front up, but
then you put them together. It's like, was that your
original mom? Whose hand is in my But yeah, is
that hand even for tonight?
Speaker 1: That's pretty wicked man. That's cool.
Speaker 4: So yeah, real wholesome stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, emphasis on whole. Now let's move on to you know,
we've talked about explosions. Right, obviously, we're gonna get that
big ladder. Chris, you need to get to work on that.
We can get that big ass ladder. I'm getting ladder.
Speaker 3: We'll get the barrels of the dynamite plus the my
power to see four.
Speaker 1: You're gonna love a guy. You're gonna love Sea Fort.
It's gonna be great. I kind of went after that.
Speaker 3: I guess we need like our computers experts.
Speaker 1: So like guy, obviously with anonymous, you're like primo hacker. So, like,
what are you gonna do to bypass the security system of.
Speaker 4: Heaven come again?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 4: Like the door.
Speaker 1: They've advanced a lot since like olden days, so they've
got like the mainframe super tight.
Speaker 3: They got firewalls.
Speaker 1: There are no breaches and security, so we're gonna have
to like hack them, all right, So I need you
to hack them. You're ready for that.
Speaker 4: I tell you what firewall would have come in bloody
handy when I couldn't get my matches to it. That
would have been absolutely brilliant. If they've got that going,
let's just throw anything to that.
Speaker 1: Okay, it's more a figurative firewall.
Speaker 4: Yeah, right, we have.
Speaker 3: Firewalls here, in hell, like there's like one right outside there.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, computers right, you know computers, right? Are you
a hacker? You know windows?
Speaker 4: Oh, I know windows. I know doors, doorknobs, oh, the
windows sill. I've put some stuff.
Speaker 1: On that motherboard.
Speaker 4: I mean she didn't have a lot going on. She
was bored.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know the web streaming.
Speaker 4: Oh, cloud love clouds. Been a while since I saw one.
I'll be perfectly honest, but I miss him.
Speaker 1: You know, you're giving me a lot of kind of
like blank stairs, a lot of shaking the head.
Speaker 4: Yes, well, I mean, yes, Matt, I want to be
able to provide.
Speaker 1: It.
Speaker 4: Sounds like, based on everything you've said today, I've got
at least fifteen maybe sixteen percent of what you need.
Speaker 3: Okay, that's more than we had last time when you attacked.
Speaker 4: So yeah, yeah, it sound like it didn't go great.
Speaker 3: You know, I did say like that. I mean, you
could have been there.
Speaker 4: I was here, I was down here. I've been here
pretty long.
Speaker 1: We put out like a casting call, like anybody was
welcome to come and join us, and you didn't.
Speaker 4: I did actually see that. You put up a leaflet,
uh huh, but you put it on the file on it.
But uh, Christ, well, there are so many firewalls in hell.
Speaker 1: Fuck dude.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I walked through like six or seven of them
to get here.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, let's just go through this skip the hacking part,
or maybe you find another hacking.
Speaker 4: Guy, guy with the cough. I mean, the plague was
pretty prevalent.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, hacker, right, okay, okay, yeah, that's fine.
Speaker 3: Let's go to the play by play.
Speaker 1: All right, So all right, right, get the ladder.
Speaker 2: Yeah, up to the clouds, right, yeah, nimbus cumulus. What's
gonna be the most explosive cloud what we're dealing with?
Speaker 4: I mean, what's the foundation of heaven? What kind of
clouds did they build on? You must have got intel
from when you're up there, like maybe you saw some
of the back rooms or.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Chris, you wrote that down right you were recording?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, just one second. Types of clouds?
Speaker 3: Why are you you're looking up types of clouds?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Do you do not have? Like I thought this
was like you I told you to like that was
reconnaissance because like really actually haha, No, I knew this
all long, the war on Heaven front. I knew all
along we were gonna get through a back door gorilla
warfare style us getting captured prisoner war style part of
the plant.
Speaker 4: Yes, that was all recon guy right, yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah fuck yeah, okay, so Chrismelo nimbus hell yeah all right,
they were definitely I think because they were the fluffy
Uh yeah, I remember fluff. That'll give us good cover.
Oh yeah, I mean I'm pretty red and they're pretty white.
Maybe I like go incognito. Maybe if I wear a
guy fox mask. That was Oh yeah, yeah, you got
any of those? Guy, you got any of those?
Speaker 4: Uh? I mean I can sele you out with some,
but you know the licensing feests.
Speaker 1: Oh oh okay, what if he used your skin? Ah,
my physical skin, yeah, because it's a guy Fox mask. Yeah,
and then I don't have to pay the fee?
Speaker 4: Am I sentient while I'm wrapped around your red buddy off?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Well just your face.
Speaker 4: Oh, I'll just be a skull standing next to you,
and I'll look at you without eyes. No, my eyes
will be in because you don't need my eyes. You
got your own eyes. But I'll be looking at my
face around your head.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that might be a fun experience for you,
but also like you could be like a decoy, so
explosive expert computer guy and decoy.
Speaker 4: I stroll into Heaven without any head skin. They're gonna
be freaking out. They won't notice all the other stuff
we got going on that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, this is a good plan.
Speaker 4: They're gonna say this is a demon pro tip when
we're up there as well. Right, huh, we'll get all
of dumbpowder up there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but they.
Speaker 4: Just don't stand right next to it, all right, stand
a bit further away, so if they see you, you
could just be like, I'm just standing in this room.
Speaker 1: I feel like that goes without saying. Though you did
that last time. I'm guessing so I.
Speaker 4: Was pretty close. We never discussed it, huh. Me and
the other I didn't even come up with this plan. Really,
all I was caught doing was stood next to Huh.
You might be able to say that I'm the most
influential person who didn't do anything in history, and I
hope to provide the same for you today on this
war in heaven.
Speaker 1: Mmm.
Speaker 2: Okay, why is it that because everyone in England they
have a whole day about you every year?
Speaker 3: Yeah, they love you up there. It's like November fifth.
Speaker 1: Do they love you, or they hate you because they
burn you, right, they burn effigies of you?
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, they burn me. It's mixed reviews
up there about me. I'd say I'd get like a
five out of ten up there, maybe if you had
to pull the entire country huhuh. But it's mainly lies.
You know. I wasn't trying to blow up everyone. I
was just trying to blow up really just a room.
Speaker 1: Put a room full of Christians. Yeah, and you're good
at that. Yeah, so we'll do it again.
Speaker 4: Wait, wait, wait, Christians? Who's in heaven again?
Speaker 1: I guess mostly Christians put their name on it. I
guess I don't know what the metric is Christian. Well
you wouldn't know because you're down here, so it's not specific.
Speaker 3: But I wouldn't say it's non denominational.
Speaker 4: I feel like maybe the less I know about who
we're doing, yeah, because that's what kind of messed me
up the first time I cold feet. Yeah, let it
go out. It warned some of the people. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If you think about all the effigies, you know they've
been doing every year, like four hundred years. Yeah, you
got think every hocksy little town does it horrific for
the environment.
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you feel that too, Like it's you, it's
your likeness. Do you feel that when they do that?
What's your day? Like on Guy Fox day?
Speaker 4: It feels warmer? Obviously, I am quite a distance away
from where it's all happening, and I feel like my
soul is only partially feeling it. But I do feel
like and they have kids make those, did you know that?
Speaker 1: Huh?
Speaker 2: It's like a sweatshop, a sweatshop of your effigies to
burn exactly.
Speaker 4: To be honest, I think it's pretty and appropriate. Also,
it used to be entertaining, right, watch a big fire,
watch an effigy burn on it. The game Boy's been embedded,
like while we do it?
Speaker 1: Wait, how do you know about game boys?
Speaker 4: I'm talking about the boys you see about the other
playing games?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 3: Oh okay, got it?
Speaker 4: Y yeah, yea, yeah, we've got people coming up with
stuff like Hopscotch game boys.
Speaker 1: Boys are playing games. Okay, okay, yeah, I guess that
would be more entertaining, just going do something nice. Cup
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Speaker 2: So you're saying, guy that your face, your likeness is
sold and burned all over the place.
Speaker 4: How does that work as far as you're licensing, Well,
I just went about it all the wrong way. Didn't
have like an entertainment lawyer. Uh didn't own my own ip.
You know you didn't own this face.
Speaker 1: It's the money maker.
Speaker 3: It's a good mustache, it's a good little goatee thing.
Speaker 4: I think called it pretty good once again. Been a
while since I've seen a mirror, but from what I remember,
pretty dashing.
Speaker 2: Well, speaking of merchandising, we do have some new merch out.
We had some hockey jerseys at double Hockey six out.
Speaker 1: Did you know what hockey is?
Speaker 2: It's kind of like quidditch or whatever y'all have in England,
you know hockey is.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, we do hockey, yeah on the fields right
gross on that.
Speaker 1: We like ice, but it's in Hell, so we don't
have ice, so we kind of have like like a
gelatin sort of like thing that you glide on. Yeah. Sorry,
I'm trying to like adapt like an existing thing into
a Hell version of the thing. But then in a
way that you understand it as a man at a time,
we would understand.
Speaker 2: But didn't they have ice in your time period? Like
ice wasn't invented later on.
Speaker 4: Ice is pretty old. Actually, you wouldn't think it predates me.
They had an age Sometimes the Thames, it would just
freeze right over.
Speaker 3: Yeah, imagine that, but you're gliding on it.
Speaker 4: We just used to have like markets and shit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so no on the tims say like that poopy water,
it's all frozen over, and then you have like two
knives on your feet and you're gliding on it right,
and then you're hitting around like a little black thing.
And then it's like with these sticks.
Speaker 3: That's hockey. So yeah, now you're an expert on it.
Speaker 1: Anyway.
Speaker 2: Anyways, we got some merch and when people by march
to get as option to send us messages and we
got some questions. Nick bought some stickers and he asks,
can you settle a bet? My brother says, our dad
isn't in hell, but.
Speaker 1: I think he is. Have you seen him? Oh? Thanks,
and keep up the great work. Oh, Nick, thank you
so much for buying those stickers. Nick's dad. Of course,
you remember Nick's dad.
Speaker 4: I do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we saw him the other day. Yeah, Nick,
your dad definitely nail Nick. Hey, if it makes you
feel better, Nick, he loves it down here. We treat
him like you, prince. Everybody loves Nick's dad. You know,
like how mafia guys they go to jail, but then
they still get like really cool treatment stuff like that.
Speaker 3: That's how your dad is down here, Nick.
Speaker 1: We love your dad.
Speaker 4: In fact, we don't even call him by his first name.
Speaker 1: We just call him Nick's dad, Nick's dad. Yeah, I
know what his name is, but I just call him
Nick's dad. So yeah, he's definitely down here.
Speaker 4: He's that guy with a little cigarettes right that we
always see.
Speaker 1: That's the one. So yeah, not everybody gets cigarettes, but
Nick's dad does because he's super cool unless he wasn't
to you, Nick, in which case.
Speaker 4: In which case, yet he actually kind of sucks.
Speaker 1: Sucks.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but if he liked him, which it sounds like
your brother does.
Speaker 1: He's great. But he could also have a really bad
time if you didn't like him. Yeah, all right. Next question,
we had another question from Perry. Perry.
Speaker 2: They about a h double hockey sticks jersey. So they're
joining the Hell's hockey team.
Speaker 1: Nice. They ask for you both, if you're going to
write an erotic novel, what would it be about. Oh,
that's a great.
Speaker 3: Question, Perry. I'm actually in the midst of an erotic novel.
Speaker 1: Chris. I don't know if you knew this. No, yeah,
I'm actually I'm co authoring it with Pennywise. We had
him on recently, and it's actually it's about Eifel towering
your mom. Oh yeah. Think of it like kind of
more of an audio book. But there's also there's a video.
Oh is that a book of sorts? There's roughly a
story for the first like thirty seconds to a minute,
and then the rest of it's like, well, you'll just
have to see it, and I'm gonna show it to you.
Speaker 2: That's coming out soon. Wow, I can't believe it. The
film adaptation came along.
Speaker 3: Oh it came all right? Yeah, talking about Kingdom.
Speaker 1: Come.
Speaker 4: Nick stat is in it.
Speaker 1: That's right. Nick Stad does have a cameo. Yeah. How
many hockey jerseys a week sold? Now? Chris, three or four? Three? Okay,
how many do you need to have a hockey team?
Five guys? Eight? Six guys eight? Baseball has nine. I
think I'm not asked about baseball. I'm asking about hockey.
Hold up, okay, let me just yep, clouds. You know
you don't know?
Speaker 2: You know, six players on the ice at a time. Okay,
five skaters and one goalie. Wow, we're revealing a lot
about how much merch we sell. But if we could
get like two or three more hockey jerseys sold.
Speaker 1: We're gonna have enough for a team and we're gonna
go to the playoffs only that much.
Speaker 4: Does haven't have a team?
Speaker 1: Yeah, they got a team. The Angels is really good.
I don't want to talk about them.
Speaker 4: I apologize, and it's fine me to bring it up.
Speaker 1: No, it's cool. But hey, they're really good at baseball
that too. Yeah, the Angels of the outfield are just
really good. They do all the sports and they're really
good at it. But that's right, we're gonna baw them up.
We're gonna splow them. It's gonna be great, it's gonna
be so much fun. Well, yeah, thank you guys for
buying merch. Gonna store that goodmork from hell dot com.
Not you guys, Oh no, no, not guy, No, thank
you guys, Like.
Speaker 4: Yes, well, I mean I could buy I could be
on the team. I mean I could try. I mean
you could fucky thing.
Speaker 1: I don't see you were and you're like hal Clayton
shirt though.
Speaker 4: I'm just not a big shut guy yet, you know,
but get me into.
Speaker 1: See you get some regulation podcast merch on.
Speaker 4: So I don't want you talking about so guy.
Speaker 1: All right, let's go over this real quick. You're going
in there, no.
Speaker 4: Face, my face is off.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're gonna need an alias.
Speaker 2: Right when you got caught back in the day, the
guards came in, What did you say to that?
Speaker 4: Nice to me? You know, I'm John Johnson. How are
you doing?
Speaker 3: John?
Speaker 1: Was it John?
Speaker 4: John Johnson? Johnson Johnson, John Johnson? Okay, good old j J.
Speaker 1: How did it go?
Speaker 3: Did you have that one in the hocket or did
you just like throw that out at.
Speaker 4: Him first thing that came out?
Speaker 1: Yeah, bad man, Yeah, but that's okay. We can work
that way some time. Oh suddenly I've just walked in.
What's your name? You're doing something bad? We'll your name go.
Speaker 4: I don't know Frederick exactly. It's exactly what I'm talking about, right,
It's not so easy.
Speaker 3: I mean, he didn't get me there. God damn it.
I was gonna say Frederick Frederickson.
Speaker 4: But and there I John Johnson.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm about Frederick Johnson.
Speaker 1: That's good, perfect, Yeah, okay, all right, So then or
Chris Chris christofferd No, that's just my now, No, that's
now yeah. Shit, fuck? What should I have Chris? Shoot, damn,
They're good. We'll work on that though. But you just
made me realize guy explosives expert computer guy the face,
even though I'm gonna be wearing his face. Yeah, and
then what was the other thing? He was something else
to the inside the inside guy?
Speaker 4: Window guy? Uh dull guy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know one of those two?
Speaker 4: Are you using your face skin by the way, while
you're wearing mine? Are you having both?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Why would I take my face off? I have
your face to cover my face. That's how he's gonna
be a double agent. Yeah, you can't have only one
face and be a double agent.
Speaker 4: You could on your actual face backwards maybe.
Speaker 1: Well, wouldn't it be red on the other side?
Speaker 4: Also, that's true. Yeah, I've tried it before. It looks
like the same same, you know, I guess. So you
wouldn't be able to see through my hat.
Speaker 1: You do have a lot of hair and a hat,
so I mean we have late ponytail bands and things ponytails.
Speaker 4: Did any ponies go to hell?
Speaker 1: No, ponies don't go to hell. Ponies are too nice. No,
they're like Gorilla's very.
Speaker 4: Expensive Seabiscuit was a dick.
Speaker 1: Did you know seat biscuit?
Speaker 4: Yeah, see him around?
Speaker 1: Well he was a Pony's a horse a full hal
Yeah to him acquire he's coming down here. Okay, So
all right, we go out there. An angel approaches you.
Your name is.
Speaker 4: Yeah, John Frederick, Frederick Johnson. John Frederick will work on
John Frederick Johnson. Okay, give him enough the names.
Speaker 1: They'll be harder to check. Yeah, you distract the angels.
Chris will haul up all the sea four and all
the gun powder barrels.
Speaker 4: Okay, and the legs and the legs.
Speaker 3: With the nukes.
Speaker 4: That's rights. Couldn't forget those rubber bands. What well, how
are we attaching the nukes to the legs.
Speaker 1: I don't know. How are we attaching the jukes?
Speaker 4: So you can wear my face. But we can't figure
out how to touch the nuke to a leg.
Speaker 1: I don't know, man, we'll write it down.
Speaker 4: We might need a fourth guy. We might need like
a critical thinker on the team.
Speaker 1: Well that's me.
Speaker 3: I'm the brain of the operation, but I'm also the stealthy.
Speaker 4: How do we put the nuke on a leg?
Speaker 3: Figured it out?
Speaker 1: R and D dude, geez, fuck, get off my ass.
We'll do some legwork, okay, and we'll figure it out.
But we'll do some leg works and we'll have it
figured out on the day. Guy, need to be a
team player. Actually, you know what, guy, I think we're
a little short handed. I think that that's the only problem,
seeing with their plants so far. Can you get your
old crew? What happened to those guys?
Speaker 4: Ooh, didn't go well for us, I'll be honest. But
they're all down here.
Speaker 1: That's good.
Speaker 4: We haven't spoken since.
Speaker 1: Oh, you got caught with the barrels, right, I got caught.
So what happened to them?
Speaker 4: They tried to escape? My original plan, right, was to
light all the gunpowder off and then leave.
Speaker 1: Yuh huh, yeah.
Speaker 4: I wasn't originally going to stay there. Oh, everyone else left. Huh,
And I thought, I ain't no grass, I'm not giving
up no one's names. Then they pulled my arms out
of the socket and my legs and they stretched me.
By day three, I was given extra I gave everyone's names.
I was given their family. I gave everyone's sister up,
people's mom's nick's dad. Everyone was in there, so we
don't talk. They got all of them.
Speaker 1: Damn.
Speaker 4: Now you may think I'm the idiot for standing next
to all the gunpowder.
Speaker 1: Right, a little bit, a little bit, two of.
Speaker 4: Them leg it off. We've all got a little bit
of gunpowder. It's called the gunpowder plot, right. You probably
should have had a better name for it. Yeah, straightforwardst
on the nose, should have caut it like Operation Amazing,
John Johnson, John Johnson's plant Friction John Johnson. But you know,
some of the gunpowder got wet. A couple of guys thought,
you know, we'll dry this off by a fire and
uh right, blow themselves up, blue themselves all up. Someone
went blind. Didn't go great, so they.
Speaker 1: Wanted to dry it off. The highly explosive substance they
were gonna drive off for.
Speaker 4: Well, toy, let me ask you this. What use is
soggy gunpowder?
Speaker 1: I mean, you got me there. I don't know, like,
how did they get wet from England? Oh?
Speaker 4: Yeah, rain, you've been below England, I assume.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I don't like it. The food's not good, but you know.
Speaker 4: It depends where you grew up. You know.
Speaker 1: Could they not just let the sun dry?
Speaker 4: It's not tomatoes? This gunpowder? I don't want small amount
of time. Okay, right, we're escaping the king and all
his king come. Yeah, everyone's coming for him.
Speaker 1: Uh huh.
Speaker 4: We don't want suggy gunpowder. Let's get it going dice
and hasn't been invented yet.
Speaker 1: So the only people that you guys blew.
Speaker 3: Up were yourselves.
Speaker 4: It was us, Yeah, yeah, it was us.
Speaker 2: Okay, maybe we should just do that. But in heaven,
oh blow us up, you'd be memorialized.
Speaker 1: Yeah, people would know you.
Speaker 3: I mean that's pretty cool.
Speaker 2: Then down in hell people would be burning your effigy
or maybe not, maybe they'd be freezing them or something.
Speaker 1: I don't know what the opposite of that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, oh what about this, we go to heaven, we
wet all that gunpowder? That's an accidentally attack.
Speaker 1: Because then they'll dry it with the sun, and then
the fire.
Speaker 4: I'll dry it with. They control the sun.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I didn't even think about going after their own weapons.
That's smart.
Speaker 2: So we go up there wet their gunpowder so that
they have to dry it.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's my job. I'll go pee on the gunpowder.
Hold on, I'm gonna start loading up.
Speaker 4: What are you drinking that.
Speaker 1: It's a little bit of a mixture of some cat piss,
got some extra ammonia, white monster. Oh it's good. Okay,
I'm just gonna load up my bladder and I'm gonna
have enough piss. Then I'll just cover up all their explosives.
They'll drive them out, so it'll be a one two punch.
You guys explode, guy Fox, they try to dry off
their gunpowder, they explode. They won't know it's coming, they
won't know.
Speaker 4: It's jump done. And then at the end, maybe if
you've got time, just mail me back my face.
Speaker 1: Postage is pretty I mean, we looked up the rates
for you know, the real estate, but postage is also
pretty expensive. Uh yeah, I think that this plan is sound.
I think that this is foolproof.
Speaker 3: This is gonna work.
Speaker 1: I'm feeling pretty good about it, so there's lots of
ways for it to work.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I'm to be honest, really excited to see
C four. See dude, Yeah, I've noticed you've got this
like glowing orb thing here. Yeah. Round, it's called a detonator.
Speaker 1: Guy. You know what, Actually, we're gonna let you go
check out the seafoort. It's in the garage. There's like
a lot of paletts of it, so like, don't put
any like fire, and you're I'm gonna let you take
the detonator, right, you're like super hacker, you can figure
that out. So yeah, man, go familiar as yourself, Chris.
You can start building that ladder.
Speaker 4: Huh.
Speaker 1: And I think the end of day we could probably
get this gout. Yeah yeah yeah, kick the tires, lights fires.
Speaker 4: What does omed mean?
Speaker 1: Well, no, no, no, we're using legs.
Speaker 4: We're using legs. But this button I pressed says armed.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, that means it's ready to That's like
you shouldn't arm it yet, Clinton cable work. Yeah, yeah, sure,
this guy is definitely gonna be the fall guy, right, yeah.
Speaker 1: Hey, guy, give us the name. What's your name, Steve,
Steve Round? Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, no, so Okay, what
are you thinking.
Speaker 2: He's the fall guy. You'll have his skin so if
you get caught and then they'll just lame him, yeah,
and then you run away either way, wait win for us?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Yeah, guys. So this thing here, this like pressed down thing,
this thing that it used to be up and is now.
Speaker 2: Like no no, no, no no.
Speaker 3: Hey guys, thanks for listening to another episode of Good
Morning from Hell.
Speaker 1: We want to speak, want to spank our very special guest,
Gavin Free.
Speaker 4: Thanks for having me, Thanks for spanking.
Speaker 1: Yes of course. Wow our resident British friend. Yeah.
Speaker 4: One, number British person? Am I on this show? So
far too? Number two? Three?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Tam and Lucy?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I'll take you under five.
Speaker 1: I mean most white people do originate, so maybe like
ninety eight. I don't know. It's neither hearing r there, Gvin?
What are you working on these days? He for our
listeners at home who don't know who you are, What
have you worked on? What can you send them to?
Speaker 4: Well? I used to work with both of you a
rooster teeth, and then we all got fired, and then
I started a new company with Jeff called The Regulation Company,
where we make the Regulation Podcast and I also do
slow Mo Guys Regulation podcasts.
Speaker 1: If people are I'm familiar, how would you describe it?
Speaker 4: Five idiots one of them's Canadian and he's complete lunatic
and just the adventures of morons really just classic five
dude stuff.
Speaker 1: You'll have some of the weirdest content I think on
the internet.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean it gets pretty deep, it's pretty low heavy. Yeah,
it's definitely a hard podcast to jump into episode three
hundred dealer, but you know, give it a go. The
other day we tried to make Jeff's costs smell like onions.
Speaker 1: Oh for about two hours. Fun, how'd you do that?
Speaker 4: He messed it up. He ordered these burgers that had onion.
It didn't onion the car.
Speaker 1: I really commend Regulation for their commitment to bits, just
like how long they'll pull a thread for. Like you
guys had that sandwich thing the other day, tried to
like squish sandwiches.
Speaker 4: We tried to make really flat sandwiches. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: People can find Regulation Pod anywhere you listen to podcasts
and on YouTube, and then SloMo Guys on YouTube, right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a small growing channel, so we really implore
our audience to help them out go give SloMo guys
a follow. They need it, They really don't you, Gavin, you.
Speaker 4: Know that's not what it was Launch.
Speaker 1: Thanks for coming on, got it. We're gonna go talk
about why we're going to help. Bye bye, Thanks bye