Speaker 1: Weary Wait.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to Midnight Viewing, where this season we're taking
Speaker 2: a look at George Romero's nineteen eighties series Tales from
Speaker 2: the Dark Side. I'm Father Malone, and sharing the Midnight
Speaker 2: view with me are The Projection Boots, Mike White Howdy
Speaker 2: and the Culture Cast Chris Statue Double Howdy. Tonight, we
Speaker 2: are taking a look at two episodes from season three.
Speaker 2: Those are The Milkman Cometh and My Ghostwriter The Vampire.
Speaker 2: The Milkman Cometh is season three episode thirteen, originally aired
Speaker 2: on January the twenty fifth, nineteen eighty seven. Written by
Speaker 2: Donald Walner from a story by Charles L. Grant and
Speaker 2: directed by John Stizzick. This one stars Robert Forster, Seymour Cassel,
Speaker 2: Shannon Wilcox, and Chad Allen. It is effectively the cobbler
Speaker 2: in the Elves, but in a suburban environment, and it's
Speaker 2: a milkman. And why is he giving them the Why
Speaker 2: is he giving him these things? And what are they owed?
Speaker 3: What tell us, Mike, your guess is as good as mine,
Speaker 3: because he pays the milk bill on time. I guess
Speaker 3: maybe no, because he's going to implant a baby of himself.
Speaker 3: In the wife.
Speaker 2: Now, that would be a strange twist to make it
Speaker 2: for the last ten seconds of the episode. Don't you think.
Speaker 3: Wouldn't it be weird if that were the case?
Speaker 2: Okay, what we have here is a it's a graphic designer,
Speaker 2: our second ad agency guy this season. It's weird how
Speaker 2: they kind of pile on a particular They're.
Speaker 3: Like architects, they're everywhere, or writers, disgruntled writers.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and we're gonna get some of those as well.
Speaker 2: Now this he's a graphic designer, but he's also a copywriter. Uh,
Speaker 2: and he's not making any money. And then his son
Speaker 2: who has lost his watch but is completely obsessed with
Speaker 2: finding the watch, because what twelve year old is me?
Speaker 2: It was me. I was obsessed with my watch when
Speaker 2: I was twelve years I had a swatch. Oh man,
Speaker 2: Oh jealous.
Speaker 3: I never had a swatch.
Speaker 2: And and we've got to this is the traditional sort
Speaker 2: of tamnispman dark Side said this one. Also, I said
Speaker 2: Cobbler in the Alms. But it also reminds me of
Speaker 2: a word processor of the gods with the creative type
Speaker 2: and the nagging wife. When are you gonna ask for
Speaker 2: that raise? Are you gonna get You're gonna make some
Speaker 2: money around here, honey.
Speaker 4: Yeah. The conceit of this episode felt a little trite
Speaker 4: out of the gate, like is this he honestly felt
Speaker 4: like Twilight Zone nineteen eighty five, Like that's what it
Speaker 4: felt like. The setup for this episode felt very Twilight
Speaker 4: Zone nineteen eighty five to me at least.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if it wasn't for Robert Forrester and Seymour Cassell
Speaker 3: hanging around this episode, I might be a little harsher
Speaker 3: on it. But to see those two going at it,
Speaker 3: I was alright with that, especially young Robert Forrester. Oh
Speaker 3: what a man?
Speaker 2: What did you think about Robert Forrester as like this
Speaker 2: beat down romantic lead though he felt so out of place.
Speaker 2: It feels like Robert Forster should only ever be playing
Speaker 2: grizzled old Robert Forster.
Speaker 3: What did I just see him in where he was
Speaker 3: like a young honk and an action hero?
Speaker 2: The black Hole?
Speaker 3: Oh well there's that. But it was called Walking the
Speaker 3: Edge and he was really good in that.
Speaker 2: Wasn't he an alligatory?
Speaker 1: I think he was?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Alligator?
Speaker 3: Yeah, not gator, that's Sirt Reynolds, a whole different thing.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, it was also be myself an Irene. That's
Speaker 4: what I know him from. Oh god, that's a random Yeah,
Speaker 4: he plays I think Jim Carrey's boss in that movie.
Speaker 2: I want to say this episode features the most aggressive
Speaker 2: synth score i've heard that.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, the score was something.
Speaker 4: Take it for a walk. They're taking the synth for
Speaker 4: a walk. They put a collar on it and everything.
Speaker 4: They're just taking it for a walk.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it did not fit with this.
Speaker 2: They have this like aggressive electronic like Jews, hard buying twang.
Speaker 2: What what is going on? This is supposed to be
Speaker 2: a spooky suburban myth.
Speaker 4: Nope, it feels like Stephen King's rejects, like a Stephen
Speaker 4: King's dregs. Right, I don't know. Have you guys seen
Speaker 4: the Monkey. I'm not saying it's like that, but it's
Speaker 4: again like this feels like a Stephen King short story.
Speaker 4: Was what was the baby? The dollar baby that you
Speaker 4: and I were gonna do? Wasn't it about milkmen?
Speaker 2: Yes, there is a milkman, like delivering tarantulas and like
Speaker 2: other horrible things.
Speaker 4: It's right, Okay, you put.
Speaker 2: That together with the word processor of the gods, here
Speaker 2: we go.
Speaker 3: That sounded a little bit like the original lawnmower man
Speaker 3: concept before it became VR.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, just like odd and horrible things going on
Speaker 2: in the recognizable neighborhoods in the early mornings.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what was the original short story? This was based
Speaker 3: on some of the temperature days on Hawthorn Street.
Speaker 4: What a name?
Speaker 2: Yeah, a much better tiitle. Oh no, I like milkman
Speaker 2: comments as well. I mean that's a little it's not bad.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I love the wife's outfit early on. She's wearing
Speaker 4: just like a pure yellow suit, like like pants and shirt,
Speaker 4: and it's like and it does nothing to help what
Speaker 4: feels like an utterly set bound episode, like one of
Speaker 4: I think the most set bound episodes we've seen in
Speaker 4: a while.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true. It is not particularly well directed and
Speaker 2: or paste for that matter, because what we have is
Speaker 2: in the opening scene, this child expositionally mentions the Milkman.
Speaker 2: I can't find my watch. That'll lead me to tell
Speaker 2: you guys about the milkman and what he's been doing
Speaker 2: in the neighborhood. And then we go to a commercial
Speaker 2: come back, and it's eight months later, the wife is
Speaker 2: pregnant and no one has mentioned the Milkman since then
Speaker 2: this is a neighborhood where if you just asked this
Speaker 2: guy for anything, you're gonna get it by hook or
Speaker 2: by crook. He'll like arrange the lottery to give you money,
Speaker 2: or like you'll win a car and some some sort
Speaker 2: of promotion or something, and anyone can ask for anything.
Speaker 2: And this hasn't It hasn't spiraled out of control in
Speaker 2: the past eight months. People haven't been asking for like
Speaker 2: fighter jets and insane things.
Speaker 4: So I love how that's the conclusion that you're like,
Speaker 4: no one's asked for an F sixteen yet.
Speaker 3: Oh hey, I had all those pepsi points and they
Speaker 3: still didn't deliver mine.
Speaker 4: That's right, bastard. Well, yeah, here is this fucking set
Speaker 4: in where people are getting milk delivered to their houses.
Speaker 4: What weird? What?
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 4: I father Malone, I'm surprised you didn't mention the weird
Speaker 4: anachronism of people having milk delivered to their houses.
Speaker 2: This is eighty seven. Can I just tell you that?
Speaker 4: Oh no, but you know what I mean? The year
Speaker 4: is that important? Any milk being delivered host nineteen fifty five?
Speaker 2: Okay, Like, well in nineteen eighty seven, I was still
Speaker 2: having milk delivered to.
Speaker 4: My house in glass bottles.
Speaker 2: Uh, No, in cartons, like like a box outside our house,
Speaker 2: and you just mark off what you wanted to leave
Speaker 2: it in there. The fucking dairy guide show up and
Speaker 2: leave off what you wanted, and.
Speaker 4: Then he would leave a fighter jet as well if
Speaker 4: you ask for it.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: I never thought to ask him for like something, something
Speaker 2: deadly or some money. Yeah, it seems unnatural if you're
Speaker 2: asking people for something, but it was never on a
Speaker 2: checklist that was provided for us of the.
Speaker 3: Butter.
Speaker 2: It wasn't like fifty thousand dollars yeah on the bottom,
Speaker 2: like as a nuclear winter.
Speaker 3: The while you're sleeping with the wolf logo, I kept
Speaker 3: thinking there was going to be a wolfman involved.
Speaker 4: In the sun is Yeah, what's the wolf gotta do
Speaker 4: with anything?
Speaker 3: I guess it's just that he's howling at the moon
Speaker 3: or something because it only comes by moonlight. But I
Speaker 3: kept thinking this is like a monkey spall waiting to happen.
Speaker 3: So when they're talking about like yo, yeah and all
Speaker 3: this stuff, I'm like, Okay, well where's the price. What's
Speaker 3: the price going to be? Is the milkman going to
Speaker 3: exact the price or is just feet going to exact
Speaker 3: the price on this guy. And I guess maybe because
Speaker 3: Seymour Cassell at some point says, I really want a
Speaker 3: hot young thingus.
Speaker 2: But that's the thing, Like, no one is actually getting
Speaker 2: a come upance here. Seymour Cassell, when he describes the
Speaker 2: death of his wife, he says he very specifically asks
Speaker 2: for a like a young girl to replace her. So
Speaker 2: the language that ended up killing her, it's not like
Speaker 2: there was a come uppance for his what. It doesn't
Speaker 2: seem like anyone in the neighborhood is getting anything done
Speaker 2: to them untoward.
Speaker 4: It's just exactly what they're asking for.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and this guy's wife can't, by her own admission,
Speaker 2: can no longer get pregnant. We've been to so many doctors.
Speaker 2: I can no longer conceive. And so this alien thing,
Speaker 2: whatever the fuck it is, who is the milk? He
Speaker 2: he helps him get a He gets them a fucking
Speaker 2: baby the base way he can just impregnanty of herself.
Speaker 4: I thought it was like a moleman thing.
Speaker 3: Is it a man who knows?
Speaker 4: I don't know. And it's like scaled, It looks like
Speaker 4: it has like scale. It's like scally like an armadillo,
Speaker 4: So I thought it like lived underground, where do you
Speaker 4: get there? Didn't want to assume the milkman's gender either,
Speaker 4: don't know, Well, just milkman, milkman, Yeah, milk are there
Speaker 4: more than them.
Speaker 3: Milkman's there's probably thirteen milkmen.
Speaker 2: On that round.
Speaker 4: That's what, thank you, Mike. Thirteen milkmen?
Speaker 2: Silly?
Speaker 4: Yeah? What the fuck good?
Speaker 1: This?
Speaker 4: What's funny?
Speaker 1: Is? I mean?
Speaker 4: Again, Father Malone? I know you mentioned like, well, they
Speaker 4: were delivering milk to my house, like it's a silly
Speaker 4: like the setup in my mind while it was still happening,
Speaker 4: and like, okay, like I'll take a step back on
Speaker 4: that one. This is still a very silly setup, right.
Speaker 4: It's almost like it's almost like a blackout sketch like oh,
Speaker 4: like you said, oh, just because it wasn't on the sheet,
Speaker 4: I couldn't ask the milkman, Like, so you didn't get
Speaker 4: to ask the milkman for what ever? And just because
Speaker 4: you didn't get to ask, he never gave it to you.
Speaker 4: That's I guess the premise of this story, like what
Speaker 4: if you could just ask the milkman for anything? I
Speaker 4: just I guess I don't understand like, what's the gag.
Speaker 2: Well, the gag is careful what you wish for, because
Speaker 2: if you wish for a replacement daughter, you might get
Speaker 2: a mole person baby instead.
Speaker 4: And why did they deserve that?
Speaker 1: Nobody?
Speaker 2: Well, I mean that's the only option. He doesn't just
Speaker 2: give them like five thousand dollars. He gives them a
Speaker 2: fucking lottery ticket or tells him to go to the
Speaker 2: dog track or the that's.
Speaker 4: Actually but that's still but that's still checks the box
Speaker 4: of what they're asking for.
Speaker 2: They're asking for a child. They're getting a child. Nobody
Speaker 2: said it had no men.
Speaker 4: That's true. He did say, like it doesn't he it's
Speaker 4: actually Robert Forster's fault. He says anything will.
Speaker 2: Do, Yes, he did.
Speaker 4: That's the real issue.
Speaker 2: Healthy is what he said.
Speaker 4: Yeah, as long as it's health.
Speaker 2: By the way, can look as a someone who has
Speaker 2: lost a child. The expositional fucking dialogue here of we
Speaker 2: lost the baby girl last year. That is some fucking
Speaker 2: casual talk to share with your spouse, let me tell you.
Speaker 2: And because it's exposition it's like extra insulting.
Speaker 4: Well, we'll get through it, just like we did the
Speaker 4: other thing.
Speaker 2: Like wait what And then they follow that up with
Speaker 2: the Seymour Casselle's wife is like, Oh, finally getting through
Speaker 2: all this crazy business, get through all that bullshit, and
Speaker 2: they're like get a new kid, Like whoa Like, who
Speaker 2: are these people?
Speaker 4: I'm disappointed Seymour Casselle didn't walk in fucking honking a
Speaker 4: horn while talking.
Speaker 2: About the fuck good god man.
Speaker 4: It's this shows like not moral compass, but it's it
Speaker 4: has a weird I don't know tells from the dark
Speaker 4: side sensibility vacillate so much, and this is one of
Speaker 4: these episodes where I just don't feel like this is
Speaker 4: tonally in step and in line with everything else that
Speaker 4: I'm expecting from the show. This really feels like Twilight
Speaker 4: Zone nineteen eighty that's and that in this context is
Speaker 4: I'm onhat of an insult, frankly, because this show is
Speaker 4: so much better than Twilight Zone eighty five. Ever was
Speaker 4: this show? I hold this show to a higher regard
Speaker 4: than this kind of episode one.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm glad that you said that it was eight
Speaker 3: months later when we came back from commercial break, because
Speaker 3: I didn't assume that. I thought that it was like
Speaker 3: the next day, and I was very surprised when she
Speaker 3: was like, oh, I'm pregnant now and I'm like what,
Speaker 3: And then towards the end when he's like, and she
Speaker 3: just had the baby now, and I'm like, whoa, this
Speaker 3: thing's gonna be way pre mature.
Speaker 2: What the hell are you doing?
Speaker 3: This is gonna be nuts.
Speaker 2: But they not have just had an establishing shot of
Speaker 2: her belly and him like rubbing it, like I can't
Speaker 2: believe we got to Yeah, wait, she's.
Speaker 3: Got a belly later on, but you don't really see it,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, oh, okay. And I don't know why
Speaker 3: he's so obsessed with seeing the milkman. Why does that
Speaker 3: become his whole bete noir?
Speaker 2: And also why is he keeping it from the wife
Speaker 2: that he's doing this, that he's making all this money
Speaker 2: this way, Like shouldn't everyone be like he's keeping that
Speaker 2: how much money they have, they could be living at
Speaker 2: a better like standard, Like I don't understand that that
Speaker 2: conceit A.
Speaker 4: Lot of it seems like it doesn't serve anybody, Like
Speaker 4: sometimes things happen in this episode that it feels like
Speaker 4: it doesn't serve the narrative, It doesn't serve anybody, It
Speaker 4: doesn't serve the characters like I don't understand why at
Speaker 4: the end, it's like, well, be careful what you wish for, Like,
Speaker 4: there's no be careful what you wish for with anything else.
Speaker 4: It's literally the verbiage that's being used, Like the episode
Speaker 4: doesn't make it clear that it's actually Robert Forrester's like
Speaker 4: because of the language that he used. That's the only
Speaker 4: reason the Milkman did it, Like because he just if
Speaker 4: Robert Forrester had said I want a human baby that's healthy,
Speaker 4: I think he would have gotten a healthy human baby.
Speaker 4: That's the general sense that I get, because again, everybody else,
Speaker 4: I mean Seymour Cassell talked about the fact that he
Speaker 4: had like twelve cars.
Speaker 3: Yeah, healthier the baby come from.
Speaker 2: See that's the thing. It's like, yes, maybe they would
Speaker 2: have gotten a healthy human baby because a couple across
Speaker 2: the street had a fucking helicopter fall on them. Hey, right, something,
Speaker 2: we're not getting any of the horrible stuff that's going
Speaker 2: on to make these things happen for them.
Speaker 3: Well, and then the whole thing where he's like, oh,
Speaker 3: thank you so much for all the ideas for my book,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, you're asking the Milkman for ideas for
Speaker 3: your book. You don't even have those. Like, what kind
Speaker 3: of bankrupt, creatively bankrupt person are you with this?
Speaker 2: Yeah, just take your thousand dollars a week from the
Speaker 2: Milkman and don't be creative. Go do something else.
Speaker 3: Robert Forrester and him going, I drink and I write
Speaker 3: and I drink. And he's like, I feel like Earnest Summingway.
Speaker 3: I'm like, what the hell, No, you don't drink and
Speaker 3: write at the same time. That's a spiral into blackness.
Speaker 4: What are you doing?
Speaker 2: Take this? I told them to take their job and
Speaker 2: take a bus.
Speaker 4: What am I confused as to why we have two
Speaker 4: back to back episodes that are both writer based.
Speaker 3: You're right to what you know?
Speaker 2: I guess at a certain point I on anthology shows,
Speaker 2: we're going to get a glut of writers as protagonist episodes.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, got it Entails from the Crip.
Speaker 2: And we're going to get one right here with my
Speaker 2: ghost writer, the Vampire. This is season three, episode fourteen,
Speaker 2: aired originally on February the first, nineteen eighty seven. This
Speaker 2: one is written by Peter o'keef from a short story
Speaker 2: by Scott Adelman, starring Jeff Conaway, Roy Daughtriss, and Jilly Mack.
Speaker 2: Jeff Conaway favorite of night, mister Walters. I'm co host
Speaker 2: of the show, The Taxi Podcast. It's a little interesting
Speaker 2: to see him post Taxi here nineteen eighties, Jeff Conaway here. Effectively,
Speaker 2: here we have a charlatan of a horror author who's
Speaker 2: been using other people to get his facts straight on
Speaker 2: his books, and then he engages the services of an
Speaker 2: actual vampire, which I think of this one, Chris.
Speaker 4: Two things. Jilly Mack otherwise known as missus tom Selleck.
Speaker 3: Her name is Chili Mack. Jilly Mack, oh, Jilly Mack okay,
Speaker 3: also great angry.
Speaker 4: She's been married to Tom Selleck since nineteen eighty seven,
Speaker 4: which good, good, yeah, yeah, good man, And.
Speaker 3: Those reverse mortgages really pay off.
Speaker 4: I will say, though. The one thing I couldn't get
Speaker 4: over with this episode is and again to go back
Speaker 4: to the Jilly Mack of it all man, did did
Speaker 4: you know Temple see her and be like, this is
Speaker 4: just what I'm gonna do in ted Lasso because it
Speaker 4: felt like that character Keeley from ted Lasso just.
Speaker 1: Oh what right off?
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yah, I can see that, but like not
Speaker 3: not in.
Speaker 4: A good way, like Juno Temple. That is a much
Speaker 4: more thought out role. Like Jilly. Max's character in this
Speaker 4: episode is one note. Jeff Conway's character is one note.
Speaker 4: Raydo Trees is one note. It this is we've had
Speaker 4: We've said this before, We'll say it again. This is
Speaker 4: a blackout sketch blown This is a blackout one panel
Speaker 4: blown up into a twenty five minute sketch. Oh, you
Speaker 4: have a real vampire helping you out, helping you right, Okay,
Speaker 4: I don't know you.
Speaker 2: No, it's not. It's not a one panel sketch.
Speaker 4: It's two.
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, it's three or four. It's like any fucking
Speaker 2: short story. It has the beginning, of the middle and
Speaker 2: end with a bunch of different things happening and a
Speaker 2: one panel sketches. I am at the blood bank. I'd
Speaker 2: like to take out some blood. I'm a vampire.
Speaker 3: I really had hoped that this would go in a
Speaker 3: different way. I kind of like the idea of it,
Speaker 3: this whole idea of the guy who's like a Garth
Speaker 3: Maumerangie type writing these awful short stories. And oh you
Speaker 3: just had this character stab this guy with a stake
Speaker 3: in this chapter, and why can't you come up with
Speaker 3: something creative and why don't you do this? And it's like, Okay,
Speaker 3: that's cool.
Speaker 2: I like this.
Speaker 3: And then when the vampire himself shows up. I was
Speaker 3: hoping that he would be very hesitant at first to
Speaker 3: do anything and then really start to get into it
Speaker 3: and like just really enter into that literary world where
Speaker 3: he's just like, oh, no, I would change this, or
Speaker 3: have you thought about shifting the tone or how about
Speaker 3: we go third person with this section or something like that,
Speaker 3: like where he's really into it or maybe gets into
Speaker 3: the business of it and he's just like, oh, I
Speaker 3: can't believe we're climbing the charts, and just like get
Speaker 3: really excited that he actually has a book that's out there,
Speaker 3: but then the jealousy of not having his name on
Speaker 3: it starts to wear on him or something. But instead
Speaker 3: it's just it's very simple. I mean, I agree with you,
Speaker 3: it's probably four or five panels, but it's that's it.
Speaker 3: It's not a whole comic book.
Speaker 2: And they've already done this one with the Answering Machines
Speaker 2: in the first season. Yeah, that's true, very specifically with
Speaker 2: Harry Anderson and his answering machine who's defiant about wanting
Speaker 2: credit on the next screenplay or teleplay.
Speaker 3: He writes, right, exactly, wasn't.
Speaker 4: There an episode of twid Zone eighty five where it's
Speaker 4: like scientists and ghosts. It's like ghosts and scientists talking
Speaker 4: to each other. The smacks of that similar thing where
Speaker 4: it's like one profession being informed by the supernatural. And
Speaker 4: this again is just like they to Mike's point, they
Speaker 4: don't go anywhere that they they don't go anywhere remotely creative.
Speaker 4: It feels like they just take the most obvious path,
Speaker 4: including introducing a new vampire resurrection caveat that of course,
Speaker 4: has to come to fruition before the end of the episode.
Speaker 4: And apparently Jeff Conway is the biggest moron in the
Speaker 4: episode because he ignores it and just lets a woman
Speaker 4: stand over a coffin with a bleeding hand, not thinking
Speaker 4: anything of it, which again is just lazy writing it's
Speaker 4: it's in my mind. This is just lazy because it
Speaker 4: feels like we've seen this before and it doesn't do anything,
Speaker 4: which is a shame because Jeff Conway is not terrible,
Speaker 4: He's just one note.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I usually like Jeff Conway, especially at this period.
Speaker 3: Of his career, well before he loses a shit. I
Speaker 3: mean I used to watch him on what was that
Speaker 3: Celebrity Drunk Tank or whatever that one was called.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I know the way it was when they
Speaker 2: put it. It was the VH one, especially where they
Speaker 2: put him all in a house together.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Oh god, man, was that rough. That was so rough
Speaker 3: to see him in that period of his life.
Speaker 2: Well, there is one moment from that series where they're
Speaker 2: in canoes together and he has passed down out in
Speaker 2: one of the canoes and they row him ashore and
Speaker 2: they go, Jeff, you got to wake up your asleep,
Speaker 2: and he goes, oh man, I'm just hanging out. And
Speaker 2: I think about, oh man, I'm just hanging out all
Speaker 2: the time.
Speaker 4: Ye, Conway was always just hanging out man. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Look, this is a comedy episode. None of the anthology,
Speaker 2: particularly horror anthology series, can handle comedy virtually at all.
Speaker 2: I don't know why they even fucking bother. At one point,
Speaker 2: Jeff Conway says, I hired you as an advisor, not
Speaker 2: a gag writer. Dido tales from the dark Side.
Speaker 4: Also, what is she an advisor on? How Like? I'm
Speaker 4: waiting to see how she was an advisor. I never
Speaker 4: even got the sense of what she brings to the
Speaker 4: equation because Jeff seems like blind leading the blind.
Speaker 2: He is so clueless about the lore of vampires and
Speaker 2: other worldly things because he's not a supernatural author at all,
Speaker 2: but that's where he's making his money somehow, And she's
Speaker 2: able to provide the most basic fucking information Every fucking
Speaker 2: kid who's ever eating a box of fucking count Chocula
Speaker 2: could tell him about the supernatural. So I don't know
Speaker 2: why he's I don't know how he's affording her. I
Speaker 2: don't know how he needs her, Like doesn't he own
Speaker 2: like the time Life book series fucking supernatural shit, That's.
Speaker 4: What I'm saying. It'd be like doing an episode about zombies,
Speaker 4: being like, what's the one thing we know about zombies?
Speaker 4: That they're the undead? All right?
Speaker 2: That's it?
Speaker 4: Like what like there's more to it. I'm just the advisor, though,
Speaker 4: Like you have to pay me for more, Like what
Speaker 4: do you know about ghost where they wear white sheets?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 4: Okay, anything else? Now, that's it all you need to know?
Speaker 4: Like if the conceit of this episode is bizarre in
Speaker 4: and of itself, and then you have a vampire, which
Speaker 4: I mean again, like that's the most interesting part. It
Speaker 4: just doesn't go anywhere.
Speaker 2: Well, first of all, it's for some reason, it's just
Speaker 2: traditional Dracula Garb vampire, I don't know, in the twentieth century.
Speaker 2: Free oh my god, free draft cool. And also Jeff
Speaker 2: Conway needs an advisor. And yet he's been at it
Speaker 2: long enough and successful enough along in at it long
Speaker 2: enough that he has a safe room. The trigger to
Speaker 2: open it is a severed head with a fucking accident.
Speaker 2: You pull the axe handle down and it opens the room.
Speaker 2: He needs an advisor after having that in his house.
Speaker 2: Come on, man, it.
Speaker 3: Keeps all the stocks and stuff in there, is what
Speaker 3: she says.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have to move all your stocks and bonds.
Speaker 4: Five was it five timed safes?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Oh god, yeah, this guy's it's such an elaborate thing
Speaker 3: for this kind of hack writer to have it.
Speaker 4: It's like out of Diehard, like like literally, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: that's what I was saying, Like five times Sandy got
Speaker 4: the guy with the fucking drill and everything. I don't understand.
Speaker 4: It's just again like these weird, whacked out conceits. And
Speaker 4: then you'll notice, by the way, it's based on a
Speaker 4: story by Scott Edelman that was published in DC Comics,
Speaker 4: And like that makes sense because again, like this is
Speaker 4: pulpy in setup, like what happened if a writer and
Speaker 4: a vampire got and then we have again I think
Speaker 4: also it's an imminently unlikable main character episode two because
Speaker 4: Jeff Conaway is meant to just be such a fucking dickhead,
Speaker 4: and he is, I mean, plays it perfectly, but you're
Speaker 4: not meant to like him at all. You're meant to
Speaker 4: want him to get his by the end of the episode.
Speaker 2: At one point, the Dracula character says, will you're made
Speaker 2: be missed? And he says, no, they'll think immigration picked
Speaker 2: her up. Oh yeah, yeah, Jeff. Yeah. If your idea
Speaker 2: of comedy is a coffin lined with old silverware, then
Speaker 2: this is the episode for you.
Speaker 3: Oh boy, yeah, I guess because it's silver right. I mean,
Speaker 3: what's he gonna do like start some running water so
Speaker 3: that the vampire can't.
Speaker 2: Cross Overrett, He's not going to invite the vampire to
Speaker 2: the book sign.
Speaker 3: Oh there you go.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that would have been.
Speaker 4: Also, can I point something out here? And then again,
Speaker 4: this is just this is just me pointing out a
Speaker 4: relative obvious plot hole in all, if you wear a vampire,
Speaker 4: you could live forever. The fuck do you care about
Speaker 4: any of this?
Speaker 2: True?
Speaker 4: Just like invest ten dollars and then just go sleep
Speaker 4: in a coffin and wait one hundred years? You know
Speaker 4: what I mean?
Speaker 2: Like, it's that kind of negates any vampire dal I yeah, agree.
Speaker 4: I agree with this one more specifically because he's motivated
Speaker 4: by money and fame, and it's like, why would he care,
Speaker 4: especially the fame part. All, all of a sudden, the
Speaker 4: vampire's gonna have real vampire hunters chasing after him because
Speaker 4: he has outed himself as a real vampire.
Speaker 2: Well, if you live long enough, you want to experience
Speaker 2: every aspect of life, and why not some fame?
Speaker 4: I I mean again, make that statement in the episode.
Speaker 4: If you're gonna go down that route, why I agree
Speaker 4: with you, But say it. Give Raydo Trees something to
Speaker 4: do other than just vamp it up.
Speaker 2: Well, you know what he really gives it. It's all
Speaker 2: when he's dying. I got it. I'll give the episode
Speaker 2: that he goes on and on.
Speaker 4: All full evil dead makeup too. They give him like
Speaker 4: a claymation red like red vein face and everything.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was nice. I did enjoy that, and I
Speaker 3: did like, would you say his name was Rayda Trees?
Speaker 3: I did kind of like him. He reminded me though,
Speaker 3: and I know I've seen him a lot. While we
Speaker 3: were watching it, my wife's like, oh, is that father
Speaker 3: from Beauty and the Beast. I'm like, maybe, I don't know,
Speaker 3: but yeah he was, but kind of reminded me of
Speaker 3: the old guy that sells the Magic ticket and the
Speaker 3: Last Action Hero and just like a thinner version of
Speaker 3: that dude.
Speaker 2: Wait, who was that dude? Wasn't that what's his name?
Speaker 2: From fucking from Christine?
Speaker 3: Yeah, the guy who, yeah, you can do some work
Speaker 3: around the shop.
Speaker 2: Yeah, put the toilet rolls back in a little spindles.
Speaker 2: That's right.
Speaker 4: That Prosky Rosy? Yeah, yeah, he he was Robert Prosky
Speaker 4: and Missus Doubtfire.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, so I think Robert Prosky and Raydow Trees
Speaker 3: should have played long strange brothers.
Speaker 4: I agree, dough Tries and Prosky attorneys at law.
Speaker 2: Now, that would be a great use of AI, the.
Speaker 4: Film you've all been waiting for since one person.
Speaker 3: Oh, it's even better than watching Will Smith eat spaghetti.
Speaker 3: AI generation.
Speaker 2: Oh boy, anything goes all right? Oh, go ahead, No, I.
Speaker 4: Was gonna say to that point that you mentioned, I
Speaker 4: am waiting for us to see a comedy episode in
Speaker 4: any of these anthology shows that is remotely funny. Outside
Speaker 4: of those genuine interstitials that we saw what felt like
Speaker 4: a lifetime ago. Every single time we've had a full
Speaker 4: length comedy episode, they have been a slug and this
Speaker 4: is yet again another example of that. So I would
Speaker 4: love to see if they can do it. But I
Speaker 4: don't think that that's realistically a thing that we will
Speaker 4: ever see on a anthology TV show, especially a horror one.
Speaker 2: Well. I think if we jumped over to Amazing Stories,
Speaker 2: they actually had some pretty funny ones.
Speaker 4: Okay, oh yeah, but that's not horror though, right that
Speaker 4: that's more of just an anthology broadly.
Speaker 2: Right, right, It's more Twilight Zone, which could do any
Speaker 2: of the genres within the genre of sort of speculative. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but there are several episodes of Amazing Family Dog the
Speaker 2: Timber Dog, and you made an episode the go to
Speaker 2: the Head of a Class, the Samachas one with Christopher
Speaker 2: Lloyd is I thought was really really funny.
Speaker 3: I think the only time we've really seen comedy that
Speaker 3: works in these things. Is the one I of Newton
Speaker 3: or whatever that one was with Ron Harris and or
Speaker 3: sorry Ron Glass, sorry calling him Harris, Ron Glass and
Speaker 3: Sherman Helmslay like that one was funny and good at
Speaker 3: the same time.
Speaker 4: Man's hand.
Speaker 2: Yeah, right with then today. Yeah, if they're very quick
Speaker 2: and get in and make the point and get out,
Speaker 2: then they Yeah that they work. Yeah, all right. On
Speaker 2: the next episode of Midnight Viewing, we'll be taking a
Speaker 2: look at the next two episodes of season three. Those
Speaker 2: are my own Place and read the Leader. Midnight Viewing
Speaker 2: is a proud member of a Weirdingway Media group. Our
Speaker 2: theme song was composed by HP with an assist by
Speaker 2: Donald Rubinstein. Until next time? What are you working on?
Speaker 2: Where can people find it? Mike White?
Speaker 3: You can find it over at Weirdingwaymedia dot com. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's where you can find it.
Speaker 2: And what about you, Chris Statue.
Speaker 4: Same spot Weirdowaymedia dot com. For everything I work on
Speaker 4: other than that, Patreon dot com, slash culture cast or
Speaker 4: slash Projection booth for ranking on Bond, which is a
Speaker 4: show that Mike and I do with our friend Richard
Speaker 4: HadAM and Father Malone. You've been on it once soon
Speaker 4: to be once so far yes, soon to me twice
Speaker 4: and very soon.
Speaker 2: I love that, James bond As for me. Head on
Speaker 2: over to patreon dot com slash fatherm Alone. You're gonna
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Speaker 2: you all for shoining us here at midnight viewing. Until
Speaker 2: next time, try to enjoy that fucking daylight.
Speaker 1: AGA