WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.600 --> 00:00:03.720 Welcome to the Trauma Therapists podcast. My name is Gaming Person. 2 00:00:04.240 --> 00:00:07.839 I interview incredible people who've dedicated their lives to helping 3 00:00:07.879 --> 00:00:11.000 those who've been impacted by trauma. A big thank you 4 00:00:11.080 --> 00:00:14.439 to our sponsors and our guests who are supporting this show, 5 00:00:16.000 --> 00:00:18.640 our folks, welcome back to the podcast. Very excited to 6 00:00:18.679 --> 00:00:22.120 have as my guest today, Ashley Buckner. Ashley, welcome, Thank 7 00:00:22.160 --> 00:00:26.000 you so much for having me. All right. Ashley Buckner, 8 00:00:26.160 --> 00:00:29.239 LCSW is a founder and CEO of Anchor and Rise 9 00:00:29.359 --> 00:00:33.640 Therapy and Anchor and Rise Academy, providing therapy, supervision and 10 00:00:33.719 --> 00:00:37.679 consulting nationwide with the licensure across forty five more than 11 00:00:37.679 --> 00:00:41.560 forty five states. A Master certified ARITE clinician, she integrates 12 00:00:41.560 --> 00:00:46.439 trauma informed Semitic approaches with CBT and motivational interviewing, specializing 13 00:00:46.439 --> 00:00:50.679 in trauma, anxiety, substance use, and complex cases. She has 14 00:00:50.719 --> 00:00:54.039 a background in survivor advocacy and serves on George's Human 15 00:00:54.079 --> 00:00:59.000 Trafficking Coalition. She also consults with behavioral health organizations and 16 00:00:59.119 --> 00:01:03.000 is a sought after speak the trauma and system level challenges. 17 00:01:03.359 --> 00:01:07.120 All right, Actually, before we get go in here, share 18 00:01:07.120 --> 00:01:09.239 with the listeners. Where you're from originally and where you 19 00:01:09.280 --> 00:01:10.760 are currently, and we'll dive in. 20 00:01:11.040 --> 00:01:13.680 I'm originally from South Georgia near the swamp, so that's 21 00:01:13.680 --> 00:01:17.599 where this accent is from. And yes all the alligators. 22 00:01:17.680 --> 00:01:20.959 I currently live in St. Petersburg, Florida and love. 23 00:01:20.799 --> 00:01:26.799 It all right, So how does this start for you? 24 00:01:26.879 --> 00:01:30.439 How do you develop this passion this calling? 25 00:01:31.599 --> 00:01:33.719 I think for me, you know, everyone says I always 26 00:01:33.760 --> 00:01:35.920 wanted to help people. I didn't know how I wanted 27 00:01:35.920 --> 00:01:39.000 to do that, had no clue. In fact, a master's 28 00:01:39.000 --> 00:01:41.799 in social work work with my schedule, to be quite truthful, 29 00:01:41.879 --> 00:01:43.480 that is why I actually went in it. In my 30 00:01:43.560 --> 00:01:45.920 first day, I thought, people do this and they get 31 00:01:45.920 --> 00:01:47.640 paid for it. It's so cool. I love it. So 32 00:01:47.680 --> 00:01:50.319 I was very thankful to kind of stumble into that. 33 00:01:51.079 --> 00:01:53.480 Did a lot of things over the years, but in 34 00:01:53.519 --> 00:01:57.439 the last few years really started developing a passion for 35 00:01:57.560 --> 00:02:01.439 trauma and seeing how it impacts every aspect of our lives. 36 00:02:01.920 --> 00:02:05.159 Last year I learned about accelerated resolution therapy and took 37 00:02:05.200 --> 00:02:07.799 that training and all the trainings that went along with it, 38 00:02:07.840 --> 00:02:11.680 and it just really catapulted this love for helping people 39 00:02:11.719 --> 00:02:14.520 in their darkest times and that's where I am. 40 00:02:14.560 --> 00:02:18.879 Now that's the quick and dirty. So not many people 41 00:02:18.919 --> 00:02:21.840 can say, oh, I started learning about trauma and I 42 00:02:21.960 --> 00:02:25.400 wanted to learn more, or that called me what about 43 00:02:25.400 --> 00:02:31.120 that specifically got you? Pulled you how? 44 00:02:32.719 --> 00:02:35.039 I think one of the things that I have discovered 45 00:02:35.120 --> 00:02:37.919 is that trauma is present in so many ways. It 46 00:02:37.960 --> 00:02:41.039 impacts the way that we have relationships with our partners, 47 00:02:41.240 --> 00:02:43.599 relationships that we have with our friends, the way we parent. 48 00:02:44.319 --> 00:02:49.560 It impacts the way that we sometimes get illnesses, recover 49 00:02:49.639 --> 00:02:52.879 from illnesses, how we go to work. So it's touching 50 00:02:52.960 --> 00:02:55.120 so many pieces, and I just think that so many 51 00:02:55.120 --> 00:02:58.360 times it's not looked at. So this idea of instead 52 00:02:58.400 --> 00:03:00.280 of what is wrong with you, what happened to you? 53 00:03:01.280 --> 00:03:03.759 Is so impactful. And I think if people started listening 54 00:03:03.759 --> 00:03:06.080 with that lens, we might get a little farther. We 55 00:03:06.199 --> 00:03:07.759 might see a lot more change in people. 56 00:03:10.800 --> 00:03:15.280 When you started seeing that or recognizing that and or 57 00:03:15.360 --> 00:03:20.840 learning about that, was there any sense of you know? 58 00:03:21.000 --> 00:03:23.159 I mean this is because let's face it, trauma is 59 00:03:23.199 --> 00:03:25.599 hard to hear about, to learn about it. I'm look 60 00:03:25.599 --> 00:03:30.199 glad to see. But yet you were something about it 61 00:03:30.280 --> 00:03:34.479 and trigued you. I mean, aside from the fact that, yes, 62 00:03:34.520 --> 00:03:39.639 it's prevalent in everything personally. How what enabled you to 63 00:03:39.680 --> 00:03:40.080 do that? 64 00:03:40.520 --> 00:03:42.520 You know, I think everyone comes with their own lens 65 00:03:42.560 --> 00:03:45.280 of trauma, and I have no exception to that. I 66 00:03:45.319 --> 00:03:49.759 had a lot of trauma, some as a child, some 67 00:03:49.879 --> 00:03:52.719 I created with my own unhealthy patterns as an adult. 68 00:03:53.439 --> 00:03:55.840 But what I realized is that people were going to 69 00:03:55.960 --> 00:03:58.479 therapy and they were working on one thing, you know 70 00:03:58.560 --> 00:04:01.360 that maybe working on their ans or how they communicate. 71 00:04:01.400 --> 00:04:03.719 And please know that those things are wonderful. But I 72 00:04:03.759 --> 00:04:06.479 would have my client saying something else is wrong with me. 73 00:04:07.159 --> 00:04:07.960 Now what do I do? 74 00:04:08.120 --> 00:04:08.280 Now? 75 00:04:08.280 --> 00:04:09.960 Where do I go? And so I look at a 76 00:04:09.960 --> 00:04:13.439 lot of treatment programs and think that they fix one 77 00:04:13.479 --> 00:04:15.680 thing and then we refer to someone else. But I 78 00:04:15.759 --> 00:04:17.920 wonder what would happen if we actually got to the 79 00:04:18.000 --> 00:04:20.199 root of it and again said what happened to you? 80 00:04:20.920 --> 00:04:23.000 What if that was a start for not only understanding that. 81 00:04:23.040 --> 00:04:24.879 I'm going to I'm going to stop you right there. Yes, 82 00:04:25.600 --> 00:04:29.040 you touched upon your own story. Yes I want to 83 00:04:29.079 --> 00:04:31.959 hear that. Okay, this is what this is about. Okay, 84 00:04:32.040 --> 00:04:37.759 we all know everything else, but this is for you. Yeah, people, people, 85 00:04:37.800 --> 00:04:42.120 their listeners want to know about you, because obviously you're 86 00:04:42.120 --> 00:04:46.399 a strong woman, Obviously you're passionate about what you do. 87 00:04:46.920 --> 00:04:50.839 I want to find out how you got here to 88 00:04:50.879 --> 00:04:54.480 the extent that you're you're you feel comfortable sharing, and 89 00:04:54.600 --> 00:04:55.720 what went on for you. 90 00:04:56.000 --> 00:04:59.920 Absolutely, you know. I think I had parents that also 91 00:05:00.120 --> 00:05:03.160 had trauma, and they did the best that they could, 92 00:05:03.199 --> 00:05:08.800 but they suffered with addiction and mental health concerns, and 93 00:05:08.839 --> 00:05:11.759 that was that was not a good space growing up. 94 00:05:13.759 --> 00:05:16.240 And I was actually telling my daughter, who's an adult now, 95 00:05:16.279 --> 00:05:19.240 I was telling her the other day, you know, I 96 00:05:19.279 --> 00:05:21.360 went through these phases of my life. I went through 97 00:05:21.360 --> 00:05:25.199 this phase of I was always afraid of everything due 98 00:05:25.240 --> 00:05:28.279 to religious reasons and my family reasons. I was fearful 99 00:05:28.319 --> 00:05:32.360 of everything. So I was the perfect child, truly. I 100 00:05:32.439 --> 00:05:34.199 joked with her that I need her to take some 101 00:05:34.319 --> 00:05:38.160 lessons on that. But I was. I was doing all 102 00:05:38.160 --> 00:05:40.439 the right things because I was scared to do anything wrong. 103 00:05:40.839 --> 00:05:43.519 And then I got to a point where I got 104 00:05:43.639 --> 00:05:46.759 very depressed because I thought I can't do everything right. 105 00:05:46.800 --> 00:05:48.519 It was a lot of weight for a little kid 106 00:05:48.519 --> 00:05:56.000 to carry. When I started getting depressed, probably about ten 107 00:05:56.439 --> 00:06:01.720 ten years old, Wow, yeah, okay, and went through it. 108 00:06:03.560 --> 00:06:05.959 I went through a lot, like emotionally trying to figure 109 00:06:06.000 --> 00:06:09.120 this out. You know, we rationalize these things. And again, 110 00:06:09.199 --> 00:06:12.959 perfect student. I really applied myself. I didn't break the rules, 111 00:06:13.120 --> 00:06:17.040 never broke the rules. And then I started getting angry. 112 00:06:17.680 --> 00:06:20.319 When I was thirteen, I just started getting angry, like 113 00:06:20.639 --> 00:06:23.439 you're the adult here, what are you doing? And not 114 00:06:23.519 --> 00:06:26.319 just angry at my parents, but honestly other adults that 115 00:06:26.399 --> 00:06:29.720 I felt like saw things and didn't help me. And 116 00:06:29.959 --> 00:06:34.000 so I just became pretty mad and I went through 117 00:06:34.040 --> 00:06:35.959 anger for just a little bit. I kind of felt 118 00:06:35.959 --> 00:06:37.759 like it was all the stages of grief because I 119 00:06:37.800 --> 00:06:39.959 was grieving the movie version of my life even as 120 00:06:39.959 --> 00:06:43.680 a little kid, because my reality version looked very, very different. 121 00:06:44.439 --> 00:06:48.639 And then I got over my anger a little bit 122 00:06:48.680 --> 00:06:52.759 and I thought, Okay, your way out is education. That's 123 00:06:52.800 --> 00:06:55.439 your way out. And in my mind, I just needed 124 00:06:55.439 --> 00:06:57.879 a master's degree. I didn't know what that did for me. 125 00:06:58.360 --> 00:07:00.399 But in my head, if I have a master's degree, 126 00:07:00.480 --> 00:07:02.839 I don't live in poverty, and I don't have abuse, 127 00:07:02.959 --> 00:07:05.839 and I don't have drug and alcohol around me, I 128 00:07:05.839 --> 00:07:08.879 don't have mental health concerns. This is my ticket, kind 129 00:07:08.879 --> 00:07:12.040 of my golden ticket. And so I really. 130 00:07:12.600 --> 00:07:14.600 Could imagine that I did. 131 00:07:15.079 --> 00:07:17.839 I thought that was my golden ticket, and so that's 132 00:07:17.839 --> 00:07:20.199 what I pushed for. It was all about the grades, 133 00:07:20.240 --> 00:07:23.160 and it was you know. And I got married really young, 134 00:07:24.000 --> 00:07:27.759 very young, and had my daughter. I was nineteen when 135 00:07:27.759 --> 00:07:33.360 I got married, and we had our daughter. I was 136 00:07:33.800 --> 00:07:36.439 about to turn twenty two years old. I was very young, 137 00:07:37.240 --> 00:07:40.439 and I had no idea who I was, no idea 138 00:07:40.600 --> 00:07:45.199 how to have a functioning, healthy relationship. And that ended. 139 00:07:45.399 --> 00:07:48.800 It ended about eight years after we got married. And 140 00:07:48.839 --> 00:07:51.319 then that was a whole other trauma, because divorce is 141 00:07:51.360 --> 00:07:56.839 the death of a dream. It's absolutely that. And we 142 00:07:56.879 --> 00:08:00.240 are fine now, he and I. We function well, and 143 00:08:00.279 --> 00:08:04.040 we have raised this fabulous adult child. And he and 144 00:08:04.079 --> 00:08:06.600 his wife have a wonderful family as well, and I'm 145 00:08:06.639 --> 00:08:09.279 involved in their life. A lot of healing came when 146 00:08:09.279 --> 00:08:12.120 I realized that I could not fix other people, that 147 00:08:12.160 --> 00:08:13.279 I had to fix myself. 148 00:08:14.480 --> 00:08:15.800 How did you realize that. 149 00:08:16.600 --> 00:08:22.480 When you look back and you have relationship failures and 150 00:08:22.519 --> 00:08:24.759 I don't just mean one, but you know these multiple 151 00:08:24.879 --> 00:08:28.120 or regrets that you have of things you may have said, 152 00:08:28.199 --> 00:08:30.680 or things you have done, or things you didn't say 153 00:08:30.759 --> 00:08:33.960 or do, because again, you don't want to rock the boat. 154 00:08:34.000 --> 00:08:37.159 You don't want to create chaos. I'm actually writing a 155 00:08:37.200 --> 00:08:40.639 book right now. It's called Are You Motivated or Are 156 00:08:40.679 --> 00:08:45.360 You Traumatized? And it really discusses my path of feeling 157 00:08:45.399 --> 00:08:48.440 that I had to be perfect, that it wasn't enough 158 00:08:48.480 --> 00:08:51.960 to like when I decided to start running, I didn't 159 00:08:52.039 --> 00:08:54.600 run a five k. I ran a fifty k. That 160 00:08:54.759 --> 00:08:57.799 was my goal. I didn't know how to do things 161 00:08:58.080 --> 00:08:59.919 in a small way. I felt like I was always 162 00:09:00.080 --> 00:09:02.879 proving myself and I started seeing that, and then I 163 00:09:02.919 --> 00:09:06.720 got into my forties and thought, this is exhausting, and 164 00:09:06.840 --> 00:09:10.320 I'm never reaching the bar because I'm always moving it 165 00:09:10.360 --> 00:09:12.440 to another point, another point you. 166 00:09:12.440 --> 00:09:16.919 Felt you needed you needed you needed to prove yourself because. 167 00:09:16.759 --> 00:09:21.080 Why because it protect you. I thought it would protect me. 168 00:09:21.200 --> 00:09:23.039 If I was good enough, then I would not get 169 00:09:23.039 --> 00:09:27.159 in trouble by my parents. There wouldn't be they wouldn't 170 00:09:27.240 --> 00:09:30.519 use drugs or alcohol. There wouldn't be physical abuse, there 171 00:09:30.519 --> 00:09:33.080 wouldn't be emotional abuse. If you did the right things, 172 00:09:33.120 --> 00:09:36.240 none of those things happened, which as an adult, I 173 00:09:36.320 --> 00:09:39.600 know is incorrect. But as a child, I thought if 174 00:09:39.600 --> 00:09:43.279 I could control everything, I could keep myself safe, and 175 00:09:43.320 --> 00:09:45.120 I knew as an adult that wasn't the case. 176 00:09:46.360 --> 00:09:49.960 At what point, Ashley, And I appreciate you sharing this 177 00:09:52.159 --> 00:09:55.320 what you shared. I appreciate that. What was there ever 178 00:09:55.360 --> 00:09:59.080 a point where as a young, younger person you felt 179 00:09:59.159 --> 00:10:03.120 you needed help, you needed to see a therapist. 180 00:10:02.679 --> 00:10:07.399 Or yes, when I was when I was twelve, I 181 00:10:07.440 --> 00:10:11.320 would get so nervous I would faint and I remember 182 00:10:11.360 --> 00:10:13.519 that it would just and I kind of joke it 183 00:10:13.559 --> 00:10:16.159 was like the fainting goat, but really it was reality 184 00:10:16.720 --> 00:10:20.000 to have that much anxiety that your body says I'm 185 00:10:20.039 --> 00:10:26.759 done just by I realized that at twelve that started happening, 186 00:10:26.799 --> 00:10:33.000 and that happened for maybe a year, and we were 187 00:10:33.039 --> 00:10:38.519 a very religious family, and so it was mental health 188 00:10:38.600 --> 00:10:40.519 was not talked about and it was just pray about 189 00:10:40.519 --> 00:10:42.360 it and it will get better. And that made me 190 00:10:42.399 --> 00:10:45.519 angry too, because I felt like, lives is happening, you know, 191 00:10:45.799 --> 00:10:49.639 can this stop? So I don't think I even realize 192 00:10:49.720 --> 00:10:52.759 the impact of mental health until I was an adult. 193 00:10:53.000 --> 00:10:55.320 As a child, I just clung to those people that 194 00:10:55.360 --> 00:10:59.399 I thought were healthy, my teachers, I had, my babysitters. 195 00:10:59.399 --> 00:11:04.120 They raised us truly, but they were wonderful people, and 196 00:11:04.159 --> 00:11:07.879 so I clung to those people that I thought were 197 00:11:07.879 --> 00:11:10.440 healthy because I did not know what mental health looked like. 198 00:11:12.320 --> 00:11:17.279 So you get go through high school, how are you surviving? 199 00:11:17.320 --> 00:11:21.200 What are you doing in addition to fainting? What are 200 00:11:21.200 --> 00:11:23.679 you doing to I don't mean that as a joke 201 00:11:24.279 --> 00:11:25.879 that I wish you was some kind of a coping 202 00:11:26.360 --> 00:11:31.559 it was. But in addition to that, how well, and perfectionism. Clearly, 203 00:11:31.919 --> 00:11:33.080 how were you coping? 204 00:11:33.879 --> 00:11:36.600 That was pretty much it. It was. It was perfectionism 205 00:11:36.720 --> 00:11:39.320 and really pushing towards this goal in my head of 206 00:11:39.360 --> 00:11:42.720 a master's degree and I have to pass. I do. 207 00:11:42.759 --> 00:11:46.440 I have two younger sisters. We had very different experiences 208 00:11:46.480 --> 00:11:48.919 growing up due to the age gap. 209 00:11:49.720 --> 00:11:54.960 Yeah. So you get into college and I love the 210 00:11:55.000 --> 00:12:00.879 way you just talked about that the psychology program. Let 211 00:12:00.919 --> 00:12:03.120 just fit your schedule, it did do this. 212 00:12:03.600 --> 00:12:07.080 Yeah, Yeah, I got a I stayed local because again, 213 00:12:07.159 --> 00:12:10.960 my entire life was I was married young and it 214 00:12:11.039 --> 00:12:14.559 was my church. So that was my way to escape 215 00:12:14.600 --> 00:12:19.960 that and that was it. That was life. I went 216 00:12:20.000 --> 00:12:23.519 to college, even though I had multiple scholarships. I went 217 00:12:23.559 --> 00:12:27.320 to the local university and got a associate degree in business, 218 00:12:29.120 --> 00:12:31.559 graduated while I was pregnant with my daughter, and then 219 00:12:31.600 --> 00:12:36.000 right after she was born, I went to a program. 220 00:12:36.080 --> 00:12:41.759 It was on campus through Savannah State University for behavior analysis. 221 00:12:42.360 --> 00:12:44.519 And then again you still have to have a master's 222 00:12:44.600 --> 00:12:48.799 degree run so in my mind, so then I was like, 223 00:12:48.840 --> 00:12:51.120 where do I go? And this program was two days 224 00:12:51.120 --> 00:12:53.200 a week and it was two hours away, so I 225 00:12:53.240 --> 00:12:55.840 could work full time and take care of my family 226 00:12:55.879 --> 00:12:58.720 and my daughter, and then I could drive two days 227 00:12:58.759 --> 00:13:01.159 a week to go to go do this program. And 228 00:13:01.200 --> 00:13:04.240 I remember even on the first day, a family member said, 229 00:13:04.440 --> 00:13:08.000 what kind of mother leaves their child to go to school? 230 00:13:08.120 --> 00:13:10.600 And I thought, the one that doesn't want to be stuck, 231 00:13:10.679 --> 00:13:12.720 the one that wants to break some of this. And 232 00:13:12.759 --> 00:13:15.840 so I went to school, and thankfully it was something 233 00:13:15.879 --> 00:13:18.000 that I loved. But I had no clue what a 234 00:13:18.000 --> 00:13:23.799 social worker did. And then I realized this path, this 235 00:13:23.960 --> 00:13:26.960 path was for me. I have a tattoo that says 236 00:13:27.399 --> 00:13:30.200 a more fawty, So you know, love your fate. So 237 00:13:30.360 --> 00:13:33.679 either things that happen or for your good, or things 238 00:13:33.720 --> 00:13:37.600 that are bad happen and they will turn into good. 239 00:13:37.600 --> 00:13:39.279 They will teach you some good in your life. So 240 00:13:39.360 --> 00:13:41.320 I'm a big believer in that and always have been, 241 00:13:41.360 --> 00:13:45.240 and thankfully that path has not steered me wrong. But 242 00:13:45.320 --> 00:13:47.679 I was working on Oh, I was gonna say, I 243 00:13:47.720 --> 00:13:49.919 was working on people's mental health long before I worked 244 00:13:49.919 --> 00:13:52.039 on mine, though embarrassingly. 245 00:13:52.120 --> 00:13:54.559 Well that's the way it goes for a lot of us. Yes, 246 00:13:55.000 --> 00:14:00.200 At what point did you start realizing you needed toquote 247 00:14:00.240 --> 00:14:01.159 unquote work on your own? 248 00:14:01.879 --> 00:14:08.039 Probably fully when I was gosh, not until my thirties, 249 00:14:08.320 --> 00:14:10.360 Not till my mid thirties, not until I had a 250 00:14:11.200 --> 00:14:15.279 long string of hurts and sadnesses and wood ifs and 251 00:14:15.360 --> 00:14:17.799 could a should have woodas. Then I thought, you know, 252 00:14:18.000 --> 00:14:20.639 maybe there's a common denominator, Maybe you need to look 253 00:14:20.639 --> 00:14:24.879 at what you're doing. And I realized that I needed 254 00:14:24.879 --> 00:14:27.679 some help, and I got that yeah, in the form 255 00:14:27.720 --> 00:14:29.159 of what I did. 256 00:14:29.320 --> 00:14:29.519 You know. 257 00:14:29.559 --> 00:14:32.639 I did traditional therapy for a while, but the game 258 00:14:32.759 --> 00:14:36.159 changer for me truly came last year when I took 259 00:14:36.240 --> 00:14:41.080 accelerated resolution therapy. I was burned out with social work, 260 00:14:41.240 --> 00:14:47.120 burned out with life period, and I went through a 261 00:14:47.200 --> 00:14:49.960 very bad time in my life with my daughter's health, 262 00:14:50.720 --> 00:14:53.759 and it shook me and shook my entire foundation of 263 00:14:53.759 --> 00:14:56.480 what I knew, and so I didn't want to be 264 00:14:56.519 --> 00:14:59.600 a therapist anymore. And I didn't want to talk to people, 265 00:14:59.720 --> 00:15:01.919 and I I was just mad all the time. So 266 00:15:02.000 --> 00:15:05.440 I took this training thinking someone might use it, maybe 267 00:15:05.440 --> 00:15:09.360 it'll revamp my my therapy practice. And as all good 268 00:15:09.399 --> 00:15:13.320 trainings are, it was therapists working on each other, and 269 00:15:13.360 --> 00:15:16.919 all of a sudden, in one session, something I'd worked 270 00:15:16.919 --> 00:15:21.240 on for ten years went away. And it was because 271 00:15:21.240 --> 00:15:23.679 they removed the physical sensations in my body. And it 272 00:15:23.720 --> 00:15:26.600 started making me think, gosh, you know, trauma shows up 273 00:15:26.600 --> 00:15:28.240 in a lot of ways, and for me, it had 274 00:15:28.279 --> 00:15:31.200 shown up in a lot of the physical and the 275 00:15:31.240 --> 00:15:32.720 somatic symptoms that I had. 276 00:15:34.240 --> 00:15:38.440 For our listeners, if you don't mind kind of giving 277 00:15:38.519 --> 00:15:39.480 us the nutshell of what. 278 00:15:39.519 --> 00:15:45.399 Accelerated, Absolutely, it's this idea. It uses eye movements to 279 00:15:45.519 --> 00:15:47.600 work on trauma, and so what it says is that 280 00:15:47.879 --> 00:15:50.840 when trauma happens, that your body holds that in some 281 00:15:50.919 --> 00:15:52.639 way and that's why you get the lump in your 282 00:15:52.639 --> 00:15:55.279 throat or the tightness in your chest, or the butterflies 283 00:15:55.279 --> 00:15:57.360 in your stomach. So what if you were able to 284 00:15:57.399 --> 00:16:00.159 think about a situation and you were able to move 285 00:16:00.240 --> 00:16:03.840 those icky feelings that you have in your body and 286 00:16:03.879 --> 00:16:06.559 the trauma you still know that it happened. You still 287 00:16:06.600 --> 00:16:09.200 remember it fully, but it doesn't have the physical impact 288 00:16:09.279 --> 00:16:12.720 on you anymore. That's the basis of the therapy game 289 00:16:12.840 --> 00:16:14.799 changer for me. I speak about it all across the 290 00:16:14.840 --> 00:16:18.519 world at different conferences, and it has changed my life 291 00:16:18.519 --> 00:16:22.000 personally and professionally. I look at it, take a step back. 292 00:16:22.120 --> 00:16:25.399 You said when you did that, when you took that 293 00:16:25.519 --> 00:16:28.679 course or workshop, something changed for you. 294 00:16:28.799 --> 00:16:34.320 Taking immediately immediately. So this is going to sell nuts, 295 00:16:34.320 --> 00:16:38.600 but it is my story. My daughter. My daughter has epilepsy, 296 00:16:39.000 --> 00:16:43.120 and when the thing that I'm the most proud of 297 00:16:43.120 --> 00:16:46.480 in my entire life is being a mother. My past 298 00:16:46.519 --> 00:16:49.480 taught me how to be a good parent unintentionally, but 299 00:16:49.559 --> 00:16:54.639 it did so. When she would have her her seizures, 300 00:16:54.679 --> 00:16:56.519 I couldn't do anything about them. I would stand in 301 00:16:56.559 --> 00:17:01.399 the corner and just scream, truly frozen. And the last 302 00:17:01.440 --> 00:17:03.279 set that she had, her doctor said, you know, if 303 00:17:03.279 --> 00:17:06.599 you would have given her her rescue medication, this would 304 00:17:06.640 --> 00:17:09.079 have stopped. And they were not being ugly, they were 305 00:17:09.119 --> 00:17:11.640 just being truthful. But I thought, I have to do 306 00:17:11.720 --> 00:17:13.559 something about this. And I had talked to the best 307 00:17:13.599 --> 00:17:16.480 therapist and I still couldn't move in the moment. So 308 00:17:16.559 --> 00:17:20.440 I did one session of accelerated resolution therapy, and all 309 00:17:20.480 --> 00:17:24.960 of a sudden, I wasn't frozen anymore. I could see 310 00:17:25.000 --> 00:17:27.680 that happening in my mind and knew exactly what I 311 00:17:27.720 --> 00:17:30.799 was going to do, and it changed my entire life. 312 00:17:30.839 --> 00:17:33.200 I think it changed my family, to be honest. And 313 00:17:33.240 --> 00:17:35.200 so after that, I thought, maybe I should work on 314 00:17:35.279 --> 00:17:37.200 some other stuff, Maybe I should work on all this 315 00:17:37.319 --> 00:17:42.519 past stuff and crazy story. It felt like my body 316 00:17:42.559 --> 00:17:45.279 was on fire and I could feel it moving up. 317 00:17:45.319 --> 00:17:50.200 I knew it was anger, and it was so calm 318 00:17:50.240 --> 00:17:53.200 and peaceful, which I didn't expect. The heat gets all 319 00:17:53.240 --> 00:17:55.799 the way to the top, and it was like little bubble, 320 00:17:56.960 --> 00:17:58.799 the smallest of bubbles, and all of a sudden, I 321 00:17:58.799 --> 00:18:02.400 didn't feel angry anymore. And for me, it's just been 322 00:18:02.440 --> 00:18:02.960 a change. 323 00:18:03.279 --> 00:18:07.359 What was happening with the accelerated resolution. 324 00:18:07.000 --> 00:18:11.240 Therapy, I'm so what was happening is is so it 325 00:18:11.359 --> 00:18:18.559 uses voluntary image replacement and removes the somatic symptoms in 326 00:18:18.599 --> 00:18:22.640 your body. So all of a sudden, I wasn't frozen anymore. 327 00:18:22.759 --> 00:18:26.400 That's this. I didn't get the not in my stomach 328 00:18:26.480 --> 00:18:30.599 and tightness in my chest, so it removed that and 329 00:18:30.640 --> 00:18:34.000 In addition to that, I actually could picture myself giving 330 00:18:34.039 --> 00:18:36.680 her her medication, which I had never been able to 331 00:18:36.759 --> 00:18:39.519 do in therapy before, and all of a sudden, I 332 00:18:39.559 --> 00:18:40.960 could be the mom I wanted to be. And that 333 00:18:41.039 --> 00:18:43.240 healed a lot of things for me. By the way, WHOA. 334 00:18:44.920 --> 00:18:47.480 So it was it was a game changer to remove 335 00:18:47.519 --> 00:18:50.440 the physical symptoms. It did not take away what happened. 336 00:18:50.880 --> 00:18:53.559 My memory is still fully there, but I don't have 337 00:18:53.680 --> 00:18:55.640 that sensation in my body when I think of those 338 00:18:55.640 --> 00:18:56.359 things anymore. 339 00:18:56.880 --> 00:19:01.559 And it removes the physical symptoms through visualization. 340 00:19:02.559 --> 00:19:07.039 Well, it's voluntary image replacements, so you're able to insert 341 00:19:07.079 --> 00:19:11.799 your own images there. But they use bilateral stimulation to 342 00:19:12.480 --> 00:19:16.039 remove people have heard of EMDR. The difference is the 343 00:19:16.079 --> 00:19:20.119 amount of time. This is one to five sessions, and 344 00:19:20.200 --> 00:19:25.200 so it is accelerated. Right, The treatment is accelerated, and 345 00:19:25.240 --> 00:19:28.839 in one session all the things I had wanted to 346 00:19:29.440 --> 00:19:31.359 deal with for a long time. Even if I talked 347 00:19:31.359 --> 00:19:34.200 them out through therapy, they were not gone, but with 348 00:19:34.279 --> 00:19:37.079 accelerated resolution therapy they were. It really changed my life. 349 00:19:38.759 --> 00:19:41.559 That's incredible. I just want to say something. You know, 350 00:19:41.599 --> 00:19:49.200 you started out talking about the work you do in 351 00:19:49.920 --> 00:19:57.440 a general way and when you started talking about your story, Ashley, 352 00:19:58.440 --> 00:20:07.880 something shifted. It's like I felt like I could feel 353 00:20:08.079 --> 00:20:10.960 your energy, I could feel your power, I could feel 354 00:20:11.039 --> 00:20:15.640 everything you've gone through, and it just feels like there's 355 00:20:15.680 --> 00:20:20.079 so much more weight now behind and strength behind the 356 00:20:20.119 --> 00:20:26.759 work you're doing. Absolutely clear, the experiences the childhood that 357 00:20:26.799 --> 00:20:31.519 you've had has been the engine behind this work you're doing. 358 00:20:31.759 --> 00:20:37.960 Yes, who knew? I wrote a list in my twenties. 359 00:20:38.799 --> 00:20:40.799 It was called Things they Didn't mean to teach Me, 360 00:20:41.720 --> 00:20:44.720 and it was basically about just people in my life 361 00:20:44.799 --> 00:20:49.079 and experiences that I've had that again were not intended 362 00:20:49.119 --> 00:20:51.240 to be told. They were not on the learning objectives, 363 00:20:51.359 --> 00:20:56.559 but I learned them anyway. And now I look back 364 00:20:56.559 --> 00:20:59.480 and I think, gosh, you know people can't get help, 365 00:21:00.160 --> 00:21:01.880 Like we're not stuck in this space. I had a 366 00:21:01.880 --> 00:21:04.640 professor that used to say, everyone tells you to pull 367 00:21:04.680 --> 00:21:07.079 yourself up by your bootstraps, but there's times you don't 368 00:21:07.119 --> 00:21:11.200 have shoes. I give people shoes now because someone gave 369 00:21:11.240 --> 00:21:14.039 me shoes, And that's a really powerful thing to me. 370 00:21:16.000 --> 00:21:19.279 Someone gave you shoes, they gave me shoes. You and 371 00:21:19.319 --> 00:21:21.240 you walked into that situation. 372 00:21:22.839 --> 00:21:25.200 Just trying to get a master's degree, trying. 373 00:21:24.960 --> 00:21:27.039 To get a master's not thinking you were going to 374 00:21:27.119 --> 00:21:31.920 get help yourself. No, possibly this could help you somewhere 375 00:21:31.960 --> 00:21:33.839 down the line, maybe help someone else. 376 00:21:34.079 --> 00:21:39.279 Maybe yeah, yeah, And then all of a sudden, I'm 377 00:21:39.319 --> 00:21:43.160 living my dream and a dream I didn't even know 378 00:21:43.200 --> 00:21:46.000 I had. Right look at you, You're. 379 00:21:45.839 --> 00:21:49.200 Like this, this this box of like gifts that just 380 00:21:49.279 --> 00:21:53.680 keep opening up. How did this happen to you? You know? 381 00:21:54.039 --> 00:21:56.720 I wonder sometimes I don't know why I don't have 382 00:21:56.759 --> 00:22:00.240 this same luck playing the lottery, but I feel that 383 00:22:00.279 --> 00:22:06.200 I've had so many, so much luck, blessings, whatever you 384 00:22:06.200 --> 00:22:08.839 want to call it. In our family, we referred to 385 00:22:08.880 --> 00:22:11.319 them as nuggets. Like the gold miners. They would be 386 00:22:11.359 --> 00:22:13.079 ready to pack it up, and they would find one 387 00:22:13.160 --> 00:22:16.079 nugget and it would keep them going. I've had nuggets 388 00:22:16.240 --> 00:22:18.759 throughout my life that have just carried me and I 389 00:22:18.839 --> 00:22:19.920 just feel so thankful. 390 00:22:21.599 --> 00:22:25.640 So obviously the work you're doing now with anger and 391 00:22:25.759 --> 00:22:28.799 rise and how did that come about? When did you 392 00:22:28.839 --> 00:22:30.000 get to the point where you're like, I'm going to 393 00:22:30.039 --> 00:22:30.720 start my own thing. 394 00:22:31.359 --> 00:22:33.000 I never wanted to do that because I knew my 395 00:22:33.000 --> 00:22:35.359 boss would be a total jerk. I knew I already 396 00:22:35.400 --> 00:22:39.240 knew they would work me way too hard. But last year, 397 00:22:39.279 --> 00:22:41.200 when all of this stuff was happening with my daughter, 398 00:22:41.279 --> 00:22:42.960 I was like, I don't know what to do, but 399 00:22:43.000 --> 00:22:46.160 I cannot continue doing what I'm doing, which was climbing 400 00:22:46.160 --> 00:22:49.200 the ladder I met. You know, every goal ever achieved 401 00:22:49.720 --> 00:22:51.759