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Speaker 1: Hello and welcome to Romance Weekly. This episode is titled
Pirates of New York, Part two. Love in the time
of iPhones.
Speaker 2: The morning sun peeked over the skyscrapers of Lower Manhattan,
casting long shadows across the deck of the Salty Wench.
Captain Rusty Cutlass awoke with a start, momentarily confused by
the strange skyline surrounding his ship. BlimE me, he muttered,
rubbing his eyes. I was hoping it was all a
rum induced dream. As his crew stirred, groaning from their
uncomfortable night on deck, Rusty's thoughts drifted to Kara, the
enchanting last they'd met the day before. There was something
about her that made his old pirate heart skip a beat,
a dangerous feeling for a man out of time. Meanwhile,
across town, Kara was having a similar moment of disbelief.
She stared at her phone, scrolling through the photos she'd
taken yesterday of the historical re enactors at South Street seaport.
They looked so real, she mused aloud, earning a strange
look from her roommate, Emma. Kara, honey, Emma said, pulling
on her running shoes, I think you might be getting
a bit too invested in this pirate fantasy. They're just actors,
you know. Kara nodded absently, but she couldn't s make
the feeling that there was more to Captain Cutlass and
his crew than met the eye. I'm going back to
the seaport, she announced. Want to come? Emma shook her head.
No thanks, I've had enough pirates Shenanigan's for one trip.
Just be careful, okay. As Kara made her way to
South Street Seaport, Rusty and his crew were facing their
first major challenge of the day, modern plumbing. Captain called
peg leg pete, hopping from foot to foot outside a
public restroom. I can't figure out how to use this
blasted chamber pot. It's got all manner of levers and buttons. Rusty,
who had been watching a hot dog vendor with suspicious fascination,
sighe for the love of Blackbeard man, just aim true
and hope for the best. Their bathroom misadventures were interrupted
by the arrival of Kara carrying a tray of steaming
coffee cups. Good morning, pirates, she called, cheerfully, thought you
might need a caffeine boost. The crew descended on the
coffee like seagulls on a fish, slurping and sighing with delight.
Rusty watched in amusement as his fearsome buccaneers were reduced
to caffeine adult land lubbers. Many thanks, Lass, he said,
tipping his hat to Kara. You be a true savior
in this strange land. Kara beamed, but her smile faltered
as she took in their disheveled appearance. Did you guys
sleep on the ship? You know there are hotels?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: Rusty and his crew exchanged panicked glances. I, Rusty improvised,
we be method actors, you see, staying in character at
all times. Wow, Kara said, impressed. That's dedication. But you
can't keep wearing those costumes. Come on, let's get you
some new clothes. What followed was a shopping montage for
the ages. Rusty and his crew were led through the
maze like streets of Chinatown, gawking at the strange sights
and sounds. They stumbled into a discount clothing store, where
chaos ensued. Cap'n cried, Salty Sam tangled in a rack
of skinny jeans. These trousers be cursed. They're trying to
strangle me legs. Meanwhile, one eyed Willie was engaged in
a fierce staring contest with a Mannikin this landlod has
got a mighty strong gaze, he muttered, circling his plastic opponent.
Kara watched in amused bewilderment as Rusty attempted to pay
for their new clothes with a handful of doubloons. The cashier,
a bored looking teenager, merely rolled her eyes. Dude, we
don't take Pokemon coins or whatever cash or card only.
Rusty turned to Kara, his face a mask of confusion. Pokey,
what las I fear? We've run a fowl of some
strange custom. Kara, stifling a laugh, pulled out her credit card.
Don't worry, I've got this. You can pay me back later.
As they exited the store, now clad in an assortment
of tacky tourist t shirts and ill fitting jeans, they
found themselves face to face with a group of street
performers dressed as the Avengers. A fast Rusty cried, drawing
his thankfully fake cutlass. What manner of colorful brigands be these?
Whoa easy there? Jack Sparrow, said the man dressed as
Iron Man. We're just trying to make a living here.
Kara quickly intervened, explaining the concept of cosplayers to the
bewildered Pirates. As they walked away, Rusty couldn't help but
feel a twinge of jealousy at the attention these Avengers
were receiving. You know, lass, he said to Kara. In
me day, pirates were the true heroes of the sea.
Kara patted his arms sympathetically. Don't worry, Captain, you guys
are way cooler than any superhero. As they continued their
tour of the city, Rusty found himself becoming more and
more enamored with both Kara and the wonders of the
twenty first century. They rode the subway a metal sea
serpent that travels underground, fascinated, visited Times Square by Neptune's
beard It's brighter than a thousand suns, and even braved
the dizzying heights of the Empire State Building. Throughout the day,
Rusty struggled to maintain his actor facade while genuinely marveling
at the sites around him. Kara, for her part, found
his wide eyed wonder endearing, if a bit puzzling for
someone who was supposed to be a New York resident.
As they shared a hot dog in Central Park, after
Rusty had nearly skewered the vendor for trying to poison
them with mystery meat, Kara turned to him with a
curious expression. You know, for someone who's supposed to be acting,
you seem genuinely amazed by everything. It's like you've never
seen New York before. Rusty froze his hot dog halfway
to his mouth. He was saved from answering by a
commotion nearby. Pegleg Pete had won into a group of
break dancers and was now attempting to mimic their moves,
his wooden leg clunking rhythmically on the pavement. Cap'n. He
called out between spins, these street performers be practicing some
kind of dark magic. They're moving in ways that defy nature.
The breakdancers, thinking Pete was part of a rival crew,
challenged him to a dance off. What followed was a
spectacle that drew a large crowd a one legged pirate
attempting to pop and lock against a crew of skilled
street dancers. As Kara doubled over with laughter, Rusty saw
his opportunity to change the subject. Lass. He said, taking
her hand, would you do me the honor of joining
me for a what do you call it? A date?
This evening? Cara's cheeks flushed pink A date with you?
I mean, yes, I'd love to. As Kara rushed off
to get ready, Rusty gathered his crew. Lads, we need
to figure out how to get back to our own time.
You're the smartest of this, sorry lot, see what you
can discover about time travel, Pete saluted, still out of
breath from his dance battle. Aye, cap'n. I'll visit one
of them book repositories and see what I can learn.
That evening, Rusty met Kara at a small Italian restaurant
in Little Italy. He had managed to clean up nicely,
though he still wore his tricorn hat It's me Lucky
charm lass. As they enjoyed their meal, Rusty declaring the
pastor fit for Poseidon himself. Kara found herself falling for
this strange, charming man. There was something so refreshingly honest
about him, so different from the guys she usually met.
So rusty, she said, twirling spaghetti around her fork, tell
me about your life, your real life, I mean, when
you're not playing a pirate. Rusty's fork clattered to his plate.
This was the moment of truth. He looked into Kara's eyes,
seeing the warmth and trust there, and made a decision. Kara, alas,
I have something to tell you, something you might find
hard to believe. But before he could continue, a commotion
erupted outside. They rushed to the window to see peg
Leg Pete running down the street, arms full of library books,
with two security guards in hot pursuit. Belay that thought, las,
Rusty said, grabbing Kara's hand, it seems me Kruby needing
a rescue. Care to join me on a daring escapade. Kara,
her heart racing with excitement, nodded, aye, aye, Captain. What
followed was a mad cap chase through the streets of
Little Italy. Rusty and Kara dodged tourists, vaulted over sidewalk cafes,
and narrowly avoided being flattened by a runaway food cart.
They finally caught up to Pete in a back alley
where he was attempting to fend off the the security
guards with a baguet he'd snatched from a nearby bakery.
Stand back, your scurvy dogs, Pete bellowed, waving his bread
sword menacingly. These books hold the key to our salvation. Caara,
thinking quickly, stepped forward. I'm so sorry, officers, she said,
putting on her best confused tourist voice. My friends are
part of an interactive theater group. We're doing a show
about time traveling pirates. It's all a big misunderstanding. The guards,
more confused than angry at this point, decided it wasn't
worth the trouble. Just return the books, okay, one of
them said wearily, before they both trudged off. As the
adrenaline of the chase wore off, Kara turned to Rusty
with a mix of excitement and suspicion. Okay, what is
really going on here? No actor is this committed to
a role, Rusty sighed, knowing the jig was up. Las,
you might want to sit down for this. It's a
long story in a storm, a time vortex, and a
whole lot of confusion about these pocket telephones everyone seems
to have. As Rusty began to explain their true situation,
Kara's eyes grew wider and wider. Part of her wanted
to dismiss it as an elaborate hoax, but another part,
the part that had felt drawn to Rusty from the start,
knew he was telling the truth.
Speaker 1: Romance Weekly is a production of Calaroga Shark Media executive
producers Mark Francis and John McDermott. Portions of this podcast
may have been created with the assistance of AI.
Speaker 2: Calaroga Shark Media