Speaker 1: Whoa join the club. Let me know when someone ate
your pet frog by accident, because that's real pain. You
got cheated on, Like, that's life, that's life.
Speaker 2: Quick question, why did you just say that about the frog?
Speaker 1: Well, if you had a pet frog and someone ate
it by accident, I don't know, one of those Spanish dinners,
he'd be like, what the fuck? That would really be painful.
Speaker 2: Okay, was that like a cultural reference or did you
just pull that out of nowhere? Because I'm just confused
about why you said that still he Hello, Welcome to
another grand spanking episode of another below Deck podcast. Sorry
for the hush tones. I have a baby that does
not sleep ever, period, full stop. Never, well sometimes, but
not a lot. I'm Dylan.
Speaker 1: That's permission to come aboard, and I'll say I'll take
a night with your baby, Lucy overstaying with these eight
cheap gays any day.
Speaker 2: Cheap gaze, the cheapest of gays, My god, I mean
Captain Carrey said it. Tip's pathetic.
Speaker 1: I mean a team of people wait on you hand
and foot for not two days, not one of these
one night charters, four five days. That's crazy to me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, are you girl bosses? Or not, like do
you have money or not if you do part with it,
or you will not pass through the eye of a
heaven whatever they say. So listen, we're gonna get into
the whole thing. And just a quick reminder. iTunes Drinks
reviews five stars, kind words, go there, voice your pleasure
or displeasure with the show. Thanks for the continued support
of our our growing little family. My child is a demon,
but it's nice for didn't you feel that way about
your kids sometimes? I mean, am I am? I like
completely out of pocket here?
Speaker 1: I mean, oh, I still don't like my kids.
Speaker 2: I look at my daughter and I'm like, I do
not like you right now?
Speaker 1: My daughter in her underwear intentionally. Yesterday three times she
did it intentionally, she did she pooped in her underwear. Yeah,
eight o'clock at night. I'm ready to like settle down
and get into Temptation Island. She's like, Daddy, what go
of the speaker? I have to go to the bathroom,
all right. I go in there. She pulls down her pants.
This is gross fast for if you don't want to
throw up, and she there's a turd sitting on her
underwear and I go, hey, you pooped your pants again.
God damn it. She picks up the poop, she goes
to hurl it in the toilet like I didn't see it.
It hits the side of her body, hits dings off
the toilet bowl, and then flies on the floor. Now
I got three toxic cleanups I got to take and
am pissed.
Speaker 2: Yeah, three Chernobuls, three Biohezard jebb. My one of my
least favorite things is the inopportune shitting of newborns. Right, so,
so you'll swaddle, they'll be calm, you'll be like, oh
my god, it's happening. I can watch episode and seventy
five of One Piece because they're in the Sky Islands
and they're you know, they're about to fight the high
Priests and then nope, she just blows herself apart and
then you have to take everything off and now oh oops,
she's screaming again, and it's just like, why is there
no God? You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I'm asking myself that every day.
Speaker 2: So anyways, we have to talk about these cheap gays
in the show below Deck and I'm Dylan, that's Pat.
We already said that could be slash another podcast network
for lots of fun stuff, just did a pretty massive
dot drop. Did you see the dot drop?
Speaker 1: I haven't looked. I was taking a nap today. I
thought we're gonna go later, but I'm happy to go now.
Looking for you. Yeah, yeah, I was taking a nap.
This is how parenting goes down. I've been looking forward
to this nap. Like I'm talking about two hours out
of my life for a full week. I'm like, on Friday,
I'm gonna have this two hour window, I'm gonna take
a nap.
Speaker 2: Oh fuck, that sounds amazing. I get it. I completely
get it. That sounds incredible. You know, I've resigned dealing
with my daughter, who is a collage baby. We'll get
into the show is so horrible. It's so horrible that
I have found enjoyment in tasks that I would otherwise,
or before I was a breeder, find to be beneath me.
And so just just a headache.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you something. Lift your day up, Lift
your dayup, put a little smile on your face, go
on out and get an oil change. You know what
I mean?
Speaker 2: Telling you dude, the other day, the other day I
cleaned the litter robot I pulled it limb from limb
and cleaned every smear of cat shit at that and
it was a respite that I needed more than I knew.
Let's get into the show. How many pots do you
give this episode? Patrick?
Speaker 1: First off, blowdock is amazing. We'll get into the destruction
of the sea rat sad scale. It's intentional, clearly, Producers
whoever's doing this message me, I want to know what's
going on? Am I responsible for this? No pain? Okay,
here's what I'll say.
Speaker 2: We talked about it last week. It's one of the
best parts of It's one of the best and most
important parts of the show. To not have it is
to lie to the audience and deprive us from like
why don't we watch reality TV? We want to feel
better about ourselves. You're telling you're giving us Seawright histories
about a guy who likes to travel. Like we mentioned,
we know that he doesn't like to travel, he must travel.
Tell us why what happened at the circus?
Speaker 1: Tell us he running from Yeah? Okay, so this is
what I'll say. Enjoyable Sea. I love it so far.
The cast is pretty crazy. I don't like the five
day charter. I was so happy to see them do
a montage of the final two days of our charter guests.
Not that I had a problem with them except for
them being cheap, but that's not my issue. But I
just think we need turnover much quicker. I was actually thinking, like,
are they going to take up a month of Blowdeck
episodes by being on this boat? But other than that,
I really enjoyed it. I think Kyo's ready to be
Ko pretty soon.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I don't think.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think he's long for this world. And
then if you think about.
Speaker 2: Storyline world world of Blowdecks, that's right suicide.
Speaker 1: Okay, Lawrence can now bump someone else out about the
world ending. And then we have someone's keyster getting pede
in used as a urinal I think. And then Chef
Anthony's uncle is still having sex with his wife. That's
where we are right now. I love it. Fourteen pots.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I thought it was a great episode. Once again,
Rainbow has no chill. She's quite snippy, and you know,
when we examine her verse Sirk to Solan it really
is a David and Goliath kind of tail. The Goliath
being Cirk to Solane. I mean Rainbow stands no chance
against circus La. She doesn't care.
Speaker 1: No, that's true. You can't fight someone that doesn't care.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean what Rainbow is attempting to do and
she doesn't recognize this yet. Imagine if sirk to so
Elaine was Keith Ledger's the joker and he was the
lowest rung stewardess on the boat. It's essentially what she's
dealing with. You know, Selene is lighting piles of money
on fire and Rainbow is trying to get her to
do corners correctly. What are you doing?
Speaker 1: It is mentioning. There was some scuttle butt in the
social medis a cast member her ex boyfriend, Dylan same
namesake is He was pretty upset how she had portrayed
or framed the nature of their relationship in the breakup.
They went back and forth on social media for all
of us to see. Apparently she's a big, big, big
cheater and a liar.
Speaker 2: Oh god.
Speaker 1: She went on Love Island, which gosh, I think we
all know where that's going to go. When you're dating someone,
they go on love Island. She made out with a
bunch of guys that pissed him off, and that's why
they're broken up, not because of distance.
Speaker 2: Got it, got it? Got it well. The other thing
that was great from this episode was Anthony's attempt to
kill one of the charter guests and the very casual
attitude surrounding that entire thing. Anthony's not the worst chef,
but he is. You know, I don't know how many
cars there are in the Indy five hundred or whatever.
I don't watch that shit, but definitely in the back
of the middle of the pack, I would say, And again,
sweetest guy, we really like Anthony, but he tried to
kill somebody tonight. Those zero pots. Let's get into it.
We pick things up with the porn Star charter and
Ko getting reamed. He heads down to talk to his
team and he says, listen, I just talked to Captain Carrie.
He said, you guys fucking suck. We got to pick
this up. Okay, I'm not going to get freaking Marie
Antoinette it for you dorks, okay if you don't need
to eat.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, Dell, there's a famous thing. I believe it
goes when you're pointing fingers at others, there's three fingers
pointing back at you. You're wondering where are the other
where's the other finger? Because there's four left that would
be the thumb, but that's also pointing at the other person.
So I think that's how the saying goes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, so maybe we have a new segment here,
sea rat resume in lieu of sea reret history. We
got to look for new things, you know, and Selene
has quite a searet resume. Before she was on Love Island,
she was obviously a waxer, right, obviously a bartender. She
was as I don't think this is a segment. I
don't think this is. But what I'm saying we might
need to find new segments.
Speaker 1: Well, okay, so she was also a beautician. And nothing
against people that work in those occupations, but all of
them gathered together. This job history screams of painful childhood.
But of course, as we've lamented, none of it will
be mentioned during this segment. And I want to say
this now, this is a minus three points on the
sea rat sad scale. I don't care about any of this. Now.
If a penis had fallen off and a dude bled
to death in that room with her working them out,
she'd be in positive territory as far as the sea
rat scale. But right now she's minus three.
Speaker 2: What are you talking about? Working them out? What are
you talking about?
Speaker 1: Well, she said that she shaved balls or something. No, no,
all right.
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, meanwhile, Anthony, make sure couterie boards. Well, Rainbow has
no chill. She directs a lane. Yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 1: Oh, I was gonna say regarding checuterie, and look, Pat
isn't ahead of times. I'm so far back behind cultural
things that I'm actually close to catching up. But that's
just because I'm so behind checutery boards. So twenty nineteen,
we need to retire them and we have to start
with something else.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I I hardly ever get a chacutery.
I hardly ever get a CHACUTERI it's it's a little
bit like the raw bar, you know. No, that's too
much for clams, right, that's too much for manchego. I
actually just want like stuff to eat with a fork
and a knife. And I actually but you know what,
they're still nice, you know, it's like they're still nice.
So Rainbow has no Chelsea directs Selene towards the main
salon and says, you've been shown this three or four times, Rainbow,
this is not eleven Madison Park. Okay, you have been
set up to fail from the jump, and we we
can't fight against that. Right, we have to let that in. Right,
you have to recognize that this is a doomed effort
from the jump and the only way to cope with
it is booze and tossing yourself into strangers. Right, that's
what the show is.
Speaker 1: Well, there is still but there's also another option, and
that is to report her as being incompetent constantly let her.
When your enemy is making mistakes, don't interrupt them. But
one thing that Rainbow has not done, and it's kind
of making me like her, is she's really not reporting
the fraser. She did it once here, but it was
very subtle. It's not like I can't work with this person.
This person is causing me to have to do three
times my job. I like Rainbow so far. She's my
favorite person on the boat.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, what a while take. I mean Rainbow's you know, listen,
we love all the sea reads, so globe party for
the evening, We've got kayaks and whatnot.
Speaker 1: Well that was a phraser going over the itinerary with
the charter guest.
Speaker 2: It is too long. It's too it's too long, not
just for this show. Who wants to be on a
boat for five days?
Speaker 1: Well John Legend and Chrissy Teagan, but in all the
other one percenters. But I guess they do it a
little bit better than this.
Speaker 2: What are you talking about, like like bringing in like
lost souls on the boat, like, oh yeah, cracable people,
that kind of thing. Listen, if we're doing that, count
me in for a couple of weeks, you know, I mean,
who could get tired of bloodlust? You know what I mean? So,
but that's not this. No, we get to a little
sea red history. Rainbow had a little bit of a
panic attack the night before, and she's been having panic
attacks for a while, and it's about talking to somebody
about it. And I would say that this would be
a very very quick fix. You go to a therapist
and you just go straight off the gate. When I
was ten years old, my father dropped me on Fight Island.
Let's just break through that pain, and I think the
panic attacks will go away, don't.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad you said that, because she shares about
that initial attack, panic attack she got when her dad
dropped her off with her sister on that island, and
that's when Elizabeth Banks and Stanley Tucci showed up and
handed them both swords and said kill each other. Yeah,
that's very traumatic, right, and Rainbow should seek help as
you're advising her to. And I have a suggestion rua
UA Rainbow could use RULA. It's telehealth, and telehealth has
made mental health care more convenient and accessible for millions
of people. However, critical challenges like finding a subtle, a
suitable therapist, scheduling appointments, and expensive out of pocket costs
keep many people from getting the care they need, especially
if they're I don't know, trapped on an island and
they killed someone with a crossbow. You know, there's no
way back from that. Hey do can you still hear me?
By the way, Yeah, I can hear you in Okay.
Speaker 2: I've been doing a lot of telehealth with the pediatricians
lately and it's been unbelievably Like listen, we just had
an appointment with our pediatrician, Large one pediatricians, some of
the greatest pediatricians on the planet. I did it in
my underwear? Did I Did I get solace from it? Yes?
Did I have to drive anywhere. No win when that's
what's called a win, when.
Speaker 1: Well, that's called the dough in this business. They said,
don't mention any other competiting therapy.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, they're not They're not therapists. These are these
are pediatricians. What I'm trying to tell you is that
telehealth is magical, and so is RULA.
Speaker 1: Yes it is. Rule has got you covered. They take care,
They take most major insurance plans, and the average copay
is fifteen bucks. Do you hear that rainbow? You can
now get quality care you need, when you need it,
at a price you can afford. No more night terrors
about blowing someone's head off with a trident.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: UL isn't just affordable. They stick with you out throughout
your journey, making sure you get the best therapy and
you're making progress with RULA. Every provider is carefully vetted
and chosen for their expertise. You'll always know you're in
the hands of a quality provider who is dedicated to
making real progress in your care. Now, the first step
begins with your journey with RULA, asking you a couple
questions about what's important to you, and then they provide
you with a list of licensed in work providers who
match your preferences. You can schedule your preferred time and
meet with your therapist as soon as the next day.
So go to Rula dot com slash bad tv to
get started today. That's ruler dot com slash bad tv
for convenient therapy that's covered by boasted surans Rula dot
com slash bad TV. Okay, back to the show.
Speaker 2: Way to Go Rula. Okay, so we have a bunch
of stuff going on Gloeglowe Kayaks. But the next thing
that I have is Anthony's super Bowl.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, and it's going to be a blowout.
Speaker 2: I mean quite It almost was because the first course
is sushi. The first plate of his solo tenure on
this show is shrimp sushi. One of the chart guests
is allergic to shellfish, so and and that's one of
those grizzly allergies. You know, my father is allergic to shellfish.
When people are allergic to shellfish, that's one of those
things where like they can they can really fuck you up.
Speaker 1: You know, this ischiat you can't breathe.
Speaker 2: It's that pollen, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Pollen?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I get a little sniffy sniffley, maybe I get
a little teary eyed, but but but but otherwise I'm fine.
I could watch episode hundred and seventy five a one piece,
no problem, not if not, if I have to have
a tracheotomy to save my life, is that what you
call it?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I think so. They drill a hole right through
your throat.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a great scene in the Heat
where Sandra Bullock gives somebody tracheotomy at a diner, but
she doesn't know how to do it, so she just
cuts his throat up and he's bleeding everywhere, and she goes,
I can't do it. I can't do this. That's that's
how that's, of course, how it would go for ninety
nine percent of us.
Speaker 1: That's right. Okay, now, Dylan, one oversight on your part.
Prior to dinner, we walk up to that beautiful table scape,
in which, oh, that's right, that's right, I guess. Frasier
shows the guess and points out that there's been so
much doggy style happening on this boat that they've paid
tribute to the butt fucking with a plastic dog on
the table. Yeah, that was what I was thinking like,
can you imagine if that's a centerpiece on a wedding cake? Hey? Does?
Why does Karen and Bob have a dog of their cake?
They don't own a dog, right, Yeah? I heard she
likes to take it in the can.
Speaker 2: Now Karen and Bob are actually Christa's parents, and they're
asking why did Krista and Ryan have a dog on
top of their wedding cake? Oh? They really want want one?
Trying to manifest Well, you don't need to manifest that,
you can just get one, Okay.
Speaker 1: Anyways, rest of dinner, is there any notable things?
Speaker 2: Let me let me stay on the shrimp for a second.
First off, obviously life threatening. Second off, no, thank you.
There are plenty of kinds of fish in the sushi
shet the sushi se. I don't need Anthony's shrimp sushi. Okay,
I don't want that. That's fucking gross. But also this
is a massive problem and the casual nature of.
Speaker 1: The frat getting sushi in two hours?
Speaker 2: Yeah, are you gonna and listen? I know that sweet
shrimp is a delicacy and stuff like that. If I'm
gonna jactya, fine, go ahead.
Speaker 1: It will not be in any of my sushi roles today.
Speaker 2: No, what are you gonna get?
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get rollo, get salmon, chimi, soshimi. Okay, I'm
gonna get a role they call the uzu roll. I
think it's got avocado in it, okay, and uh yeah.
And then they do these fun little like fish tacos,
these y little bite sized things.
Speaker 2: A little wankan wrapper taco kind of thing. That's right, Yeah,
you're white, aren't you?
Speaker 1: But I won't be eating shrimp okay.
Speaker 2: So the the casual nature of this is absolutely insane
to me. He's like my CREATVD. You're an idiot, Anthony
and sweet guy, Sweet guy. But you know, I think
what if there was some fucking Mayo Leyden slop on
top and they didn't see the protein like we could have,
you know, had an issue. Next course is your WiFi
is starting to be bad, but hopefully you come back.
So next course is more of Chia's.
Speaker 1: Are you sure it's me?
Speaker 2: Of course? Of course, of course I am. You can
take the glasses off.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Oh my god, I
can't see okay.
Speaker 2: So the next course is more of child's tears, and
then the third course is tarioki chicken in a pineapple bowl.
That's cool. The third course is a crispy little crape
with natilla.
Speaker 3: This is.
Speaker 2: This is a very basic jugy dinner to begin with.
Because of the life threatening element, I'm gonna dock it
ninety eight pots and call it a two pot dinner.
Not great.
Speaker 1: Had Hattie had a time machine and knowing they were
going to be that cheap with the tippy, should have
cane in that pineapple thing.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, one hundred percent. You you can really hide
semen in a lot of different foods. Stir fry one
of you know, any kind of salad. So I'm not
talking about I'm not talking about, uh, like a summer salad.
I'm not talking about like, you know, onions and tomatoes
and baby gems. You'll see come in that right away.
But if we're talking about an egg salad, if we're
talking about a potato salad, if we're talking about a
tuna fish salad, you can I mean bon Jovi amounts.
You know what I'm talking about. Was that the one
who was rumored to have gone to the hospital for
drinking a mountain new thing of.
Speaker 1: Squizz, Well that's two guys. One was started by Sylvester
Stallone because he was really pissed at Richard Gear, so
we started the he had a gerbil in his ass, okay,
and then yeah, and then a writer hated David Bowie,
so he had made up the rumor that David Bowie
drank a lot of cum and he had to get
it pumped out of his hea.
Speaker 2: So I've been working on a I've been working on
a game where you hum a rhythm and you guess
whether it's a bon Jovie song or a slave song.
I'm not sure. I haven't really figured it out yet.
I'm not sure if it's a game or if it's offensive,
but I'm working on it.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna play with the kids tonight.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, So we have really good news from
Circus Slaine. She did it. She did the stuff that
Rainbow asked and is over the moon until she sees
the nightmare of that was left behind, which is kind
of the laundry list of just gore and horror. For
the interior, it's you know, it's it's confetti, it's still
those it's all this stuff and it's all everywhere. And
we get to the next day. He has a bunch
of fucking nothing anything you want to hit before we
get to Sea red history with Babs.
Speaker 1: Well, there was a couple of things here. Ko at
the end of the night talks to Jess to gauge
the temperature of his team and and if he has
one more fuck about piece out of here. And also
I want to say this about him. His name is
very similar to Kyle, so very often when they're saying Kyle,
they're saying Kaole, Kyle Kole. If he sucks up, what
more time, I'm going to call him side show bob.
But that's another thing.
Speaker 2: I call him chow chow.
Speaker 1: We could do that. Well. The next day, Carry goes
over the plan with Chao, and Kyle shares his texting
cheeky stuff to Olay, and Rainbow doesn't want to drop
on a dime on Olay right right because of her
traumatic childhood where she killed her sister with a knife.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we didn't hear about who won Fight Island. We
just heard that they were dropped off. Now again, we
need to finish the stories right, because you don't know
how sad a story is until you end the story right,
Like Manchester by the Sea is sad because it's just
a guy walking around. He's out bummed out, but you
don't know that he burnt down all of his kids.
And then you're like, oh, that's really sad. That would
chart like like where would that chart on the sea
rid and that to go for you? Like a four?
Speaker 1: You killed your kids, it's in a fire. Yeah, oh
that's a six.
Speaker 2: Really, I honestly I thought you were going to say
it was like a two or three. It's a very
very tough scale, man, it's a very very tough Okay,
So we get some sea write history with bab She
had plans with a lady to get a dog and
move in, and that lady betrayed her and went to
the dark side, sucked a cock or something like that.
Really really heartbreaking.
Speaker 1: Still, whoa join the club? Let me know when someone
ate your pet frog by accident, because that's real pain.
You got cheated on, Like that's life, that's life.
Speaker 2: Quick question, Why did you just say that about the frog?
Speaker 1: Well, if you had a pet frog and someone ate
it by accident, I don't know, one of those Spanish dinners,
he'd be like what the fuck? That would really be painful?
Speaker 2: Okay? Was that like a cultural reference or did you
just pull that out of nowhere, because I'm just confused
about why you said that still.
Speaker 1: Well, I thinking I was going to say turtle. But
a lot of people don't have turtles as pets.
Speaker 2: A lot of people don't have frogs as pets.
Speaker 1: Oh, you never had a tree frog as a pet.
Speaker 2: Well, my sister actually had a frog named Diamond. It
died in the sun, kind of the way that the
vampires and Blade did.
Speaker 1: Wow, they just turned black and disintegrate.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's an ugly way to go, it is. So
she tells all this stuff to Carrie, who says, great, chat,
I'm gonna go upstairs and pretend to tell you stuff.
But listen. He tells her that you would not be
in this situation if you couldn't handle it. And you know,
that's a famous saying. You know, God gives you what
you can handle, and it's kind of a perverted version
of everything happens for a reason. Reason I wanted to
get your take on you wouldn't be in the situation
if you couldn't handle it.
Speaker 1: Well, a lot of things brought her here, right, maybe
some of that cheating, you know, Well, I would.
Speaker 2: Say that there are a lot of situations that you're
placing in that you can't handle. For example, what is
going on with me in my demon spawn right now?
Can't handle it? What if you were walking down the
street one day and mac truck slammed into you, pinning
your legs to telephone pole. I mean, I mean there
are tons of situations.
Speaker 1: Well that everything happens for a reason.
Speaker 2: Dult, I mean, just wild. But listen, it's important to
have hope. And this nude beach does give us that
these gentlemen hit the beach and Fraser reminds them that
they can pull their cocks out and much to the
chagrin of the shoebies on the beach, honey, what are
those men doing kissing each other? Shites?
Speaker 1: You know, I was gonna, ah, I was gonna ask
Fraser if he comes on again, like, was he titillated
by this, because obviously you know he likes guys. If
we were doing this and there are a bunch of
like hot chick porn stars, I think Old Patty would
love it.
Speaker 2: You would remind them that they could take their their
breasts out.
Speaker 1: I would I go, this is uh, yeah, you can
definitely show your your honey hives here, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you would go up to them and be like,
this is a nude beach. I want to let you know,
and they'd be like, okay, thank you, and then you'd
be like, just just.
Speaker 1: Wanted to just to clarity.
Speaker 2: For clarity, you can't expose your heaving breasts and your
honey hives to me.
Speaker 1: Not you heard me, right, I just want to make
sure there's no one with hearing problems here. Yeah, oh
you did hear me? Oh good?
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, So we get some really fucking hot hot
moments with Rainbow and Seline Wall. The dicks are out
of the beach. Rainbow wants to bend Selene to her will,
and she's one Rainbow is not good at it, and two,
Selene is the greatest test that she has ever faced
in this theater in her life. So people who are
good at it know how to manipulate. It's not a
blunt force endeavor. You know, this has to be People
have to be massaged into giving you their agency. They
cannot just be especially the French. I mean, what do
you're just gonna scream at a French person until they
give it. No, that's never gonna work. They're too prideful.
So we get back to the boat and we get
to the Phoenician eyes wide shut party.
Speaker 1: Yes we do. But before that, Dylan, we have Chef Anthony.
He's in that galley. He tells us he's not a quitter.
He doesn't give up because that would make him a loser.
And that's when Chef Anthony starts hearing the voices. You remember,
those voices are going. These walls are conduits of pass pain.
One minute you're chopping onions, the next you're hearing this.
Speaker 2: Not really picking it up in the mic. I just
want to let you know, no, not really.
Speaker 1: That's his ex wife and that's his uncle having sex.
Speaker 2: Go ahead, because we because we didn't hear the sound effect,
what we go ahead and do the sound effect for us?
Oh sure, no, no, no, no, not on the phone because
we can't. We can't hear it. But but just do
do an imitation of it.
Speaker 1: Oh I don't have orgasms?
Speaker 2: Okay, great. So we have this odd moment where Anthony
has a like still in Sigon, kind of slow motion breakdown,
and that was odd. Okay, So Frasier really goes method
here for this dinner. He you know, there's a fine
line between BDSM and like me like mean greasy spoon,
like what.
Speaker 1: I get where you're thrown down here.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I'm like, all right, I want I want this. Right.
So I'm sitting at the dinner table, and then someone
walks up, you know, Frase walks off me and he's like,
you your face is fat, right, hey.
Speaker 2: Right, right, right, Yeah, you're at one of these one
of these fucking one of these haunts where you know,
Sado masochists, like like like like overweight Sato massachists in
the Midwest go to to get their fucking rocks off, right,
and they sit down and and they're like, what do
you fucking pieces of ship want? And they're like, oh
my god, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. The
country fried steak. And they're like, you're sure there's a
lot of gravy on that.
Speaker 1: You're like, hey, hey, hey, come on, you don't.
Speaker 2: Have to go anyways, he walks in, goes full method,
not smiling. This is our party, not yours. Does the
rude waiter thing dinner was Dinner was presented via a
non committal anthony in the kind of same vein right
so he he's too sweet, he's too nice to be
able to do this. He says something first chorus is
something with cucumbers and tomatoes. I don't care. The next
course is black pesta pasta. Don't say thank you. And
I'm wondering is Anthony gay because there's a scene where
Fraser smacks him on the ass with one of those things,
and he he says, ooh la la. Now listen, I
would say u la la too, And that's because I'm
a little gay. But I was wondering if his uncle,
his uncle might not have been some kind of lithario.
He might have just been straight and around.
Speaker 1: You know, right, yeah, yeah, you're not giving it to
your wife someone, will, you know?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: Well look, Dell, I think it's kind of explained by
Demo at the end of the show, because I think
it's our culture's moving more towards Damo and less like us.
You know, he meant, yeah, here, everyone's actually fluid. Yeah,
I got a hole, throw it in there, you know, right, right.
Speaker 2: Right, yeah, And that's fucking cool as shit, you know, us, us,
us fucking losers. Look at us. We're bogged down, We're
bogged down. In this narrow cast life that we're living
with our children shitting their pants and and and what
do we get for it? We don't. We don't get
to go out and freaking make out with dudes and women.
Speaker 1: No missionary sex, marriage sex, that's we get.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know? So anyways, I want.
Speaker 1: To pee in someone's butt?
Speaker 2: Who does it?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: Ask yourself, Ask out among yourselves listening, Turn to the
person sitting next to you. Doesn't matter if there's a stranger,
just ask him and again in the comments, let us know. Okay,
so lovely desert, it's a fifty seven pot dinner. Let's
get to the next day. We slam through the fourth
day much appreciated because five days is way too many.
Speaker 1: There is no way they've ever done this in below
deck history. This was a below deck first to just
roll through an entire day and say a day and
a half.
Speaker 2: These cheap days deserved that. Okay, So we get ready
for the departure. The Scotsman is already laying the groundwork
for the evening. We stay are rev wah and we
get to the tip. Pat what do we got?
Speaker 1: Okay? Carrie says. The crew worked tirelessly for five days
and that tip is smaller than Peter Dinklitch's balls. And
that's bad because that's small. We have a bunch of
cheat gates.
Speaker 2: I mean, listen, you know, we're always in these murky
force perspective waters when we're trying to measure the genitals
of little people. I would say that, uh, Peter Jinklis's
balls are probably the same size as mine and yours.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, good for him. Yeah, way to go, Peter.
Speaker 2: Yeah, a little bit of a little bit of uh
do I amuse you going on down there?
Speaker 1: You know, you know, I wonder if they got the memo, Hey, guys,
you're not actually paying for this vacation. The way you
pay is by tipping. There was some some sea rat
that had said, I think we might get forty k
this time. Are out?
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, Now, unfortunately they had a bunch of
mister pinks floating around. You know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. Hey. Also, chef calls his mom about Fraser
and he tells her, uh, he forgives, but doesn't forget.
He's really still holding this scrutch. I assume that will
that will bubble to the top, to the surface later.
Speaker 2: That's what I don't need to watch ever again. Anthony
talking to his fucking mom. Okay. And also, you know
what I never need to see again? Do you do
you need to see Reservoir Dogs again? I've seen it now.
It's like I don't need to watch that.
Speaker 1: I don't think I need to see pulp fiction again.
Speaker 2: I don't think I need to either. Seen it too
many times.
Speaker 1: I've seen it. Also, Dell, when they break from that
tip meeting, I believe Kao says he just wants to
get some sleep and play the guitar, and Chow, that's
not gonna work for us. Okay, you're already kind of
a behind the scenes character. You need to step up here.
Speaker 2: Hey, Chow, I like Jee, I liked Jeff right. Sure,
you were getting set up to fail, and I wanted
to kind of mount this joan of arc defense for you.
When you get home and you don't get in the
Battle of Snakes and you strum your fucking guitar off
with your fucking head.
Speaker 1: Off with your head, you must get blackout drunk and
make poor life decisions.
Speaker 2: Yeah, get out of here, dude, don't go strumming on
our time. Okay, that's ridiculous. So we got shafted for
the tip. It's nineteen k, one of the lowest we've
seen for the longest we've seen. These guys were awful.
So we sit down for dinner. We speak both Spanish
and French, and Rainbow tells she really compliments Dano. She says,
you know, he asks her, what were your first impressions
of me? And she said that I thought you were
funny and simple, which is kind of a lot of
people could refer to sling Blade as that. You know,
it's not really all that nice, I think to say.
But back to the hot tub. As we've talked about,
this slurry is vitally important to this show. This is
kind of the kind of the chemical spill that gives
our heroes their superpowers. You know what I mean. It's
the green goo, right, it's the green goo that produces
the other colored gooz And we have a hot ass
kiss between it, Damo and the Frasmeister.
Speaker 1: Now, I can't believe how hot Fraser thinks this guy is.
He looks like Cody from Sister Wives to me, look
at a picture, because a bunch of wedding pictures of
him before he grew out that ridiculous poodle hair and
just do us side by side. I'm sure a barnacle's
out there that's got some time, free time. Put it
on our Facebook group. He looks identical, so you just
know this if you say that Demo's hot, he looks
like Cody from Sister Wives who let Me destroyed, like
four women's lives.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you something. We got two kisses to say,
Daimo and Fraser and the Scotsman Kyle and Celenne. Fraser
and Demo way hotter. I mean that was that had
electricity in it. So Elenn was just resigned to be
okay with Kyle and who knows what happens in the future.
You know, I hope they have children. I have their
fall love.
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, that's off the table. She tells us
she doesn't want to hurt this guy because this is
just gonna be like a hook up thing and she
doesn't really want anything serious. And I'm sure knowing Kyle
and having hung out with him, I'm sure his heart
will just break it here.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, Kyle will be destroyed, detonated, detonated. All right,
get in the comments, let us know what you thought
about the episode. Parenting tips, welcome comment on everything. Be
sure to do that thing that we told you where
you ask a stranger if they've ever wanted to piss
and so much shitter. I'm Dylan saying goodbye, Pat saying.
Speaker 3: Good but let her outstanding. Nothing stand