WEBVTT 1 00:00:02.200 --> 00:00:10.599 You see, something's going to happen. What's going to happen? 2 00:00:12.400 --> 00:00:27.320 I'll welcome everybody to another Headless's magical mail Bag. I 3 00:00:27.359 --> 00:00:29.600 got my co host Nick with me, and we have 4 00:00:30.160 --> 00:00:35.600 the world exclusive, first time ever appearance of our special guests, 5 00:00:36.840 --> 00:00:38.880 Winter York. Thank you for joining. 6 00:00:38.759 --> 00:00:41.840 Us, Winter, Thanks for having me awesome. 7 00:00:41.960 --> 00:00:43.759 It's great to have you here. After all of the 8 00:00:43.920 --> 00:00:46.920 stories we've got, I thought you had to join us, 9 00:00:46.960 --> 00:00:49.799 you know, we always do that on the show. So 10 00:00:50.200 --> 00:00:52.320 we're going to go over our symbols real quick and 11 00:00:52.320 --> 00:00:54.320 then we'll get into your stories. If that's all right. 12 00:00:57.240 --> 00:00:59.960 Go free to comment on anything if you want to. 13 00:01:00.119 --> 00:01:03.439 And oh, Nick, tell them where they can find you tomorrow. 14 00:01:03.600 --> 00:01:05.680 Oh yeah, that's right. Well yeah tomorrow. 15 00:01:05.760 --> 00:01:10.680 Actually, people are around in Franklin, North Carolina tomorrow at 16 00:01:10.680 --> 00:01:11.560 the Chamber of Commerce. 17 00:01:11.599 --> 00:01:12.840 I think there's like something going on. 18 00:01:12.799 --> 00:01:15.680 At four o'clock and like the people from that Bigfoot 19 00:01:15.680 --> 00:01:18.519 event that will be there Saturday will be there and 20 00:01:18.519 --> 00:01:20.200 they'll be like some bar croll a whole bunch of 21 00:01:20.200 --> 00:01:24.359 people doing that supposedly, But Saturday at Franklin, North Carolina 22 00:01:24.400 --> 00:01:26.120 at the fun Factory. I think it's cool the factory 23 00:01:26.159 --> 00:01:26.799 or something like that. 24 00:01:28.079 --> 00:01:29.680 We will be there. We got a booth. 25 00:01:29.719 --> 00:01:31.760 There'll be a bunch of speakers there, somebody from moof 26 00:01:31.760 --> 00:01:33.760 on there, people for Bigfoot UFO stuff. 27 00:01:35.000 --> 00:01:36.920 Yeah, check it out. The'll stuff. 28 00:01:36.959 --> 00:01:38.480 The information is in the bottom of yo and it's 29 00:01:38.480 --> 00:01:41.079 five books to get into this one. That's fucking cheapest shit, 30 00:01:41.719 --> 00:01:44.439 So come check it out. Me and Tyero will be 31 00:01:44.480 --> 00:01:46.799 there and be doing interviews and everything too. So if 32 00:01:46.799 --> 00:01:47.840 you show up, we'll get you. 33 00:01:47.799 --> 00:01:51.560 On and you're gonna have my artwork there. 34 00:01:51.680 --> 00:01:55.200 Yes, yes, that's right, Yes, his artwork t shirts and sticks. Yes. 35 00:01:55.560 --> 00:01:57.239 Oh, and Tyron will be there with his books. Would 36 00:01:57.239 --> 00:01:58.840 assume I told him to bring books. I mean it 37 00:01:58.840 --> 00:01:59.359 makes sense. 38 00:01:59.239 --> 00:02:05.200 He's gonna be doing signing. It makes sense right, right, right, perfect, perfect, 39 00:02:05.239 --> 00:02:10.240 So I'll go first. Mine's pretty simple. This is the 40 00:02:10.719 --> 00:02:16.000 Heracles not or, as it's more widely known, the square knot. 41 00:02:16.280 --> 00:02:21.479 But this was the symbol of marriage, fidelity, and trustworthiness 42 00:02:21.479 --> 00:02:26.639 in ancient Greece. Right, so apparently this noto was used 43 00:02:26.759 --> 00:02:31.080 in a lot of marriage ceremonies and a lot of motifs, 44 00:02:31.560 --> 00:02:35.840 a lot of artistic motifs involving this symbol and between 45 00:02:35.879 --> 00:02:38.159 the two chords as they wrap around each other. You 46 00:02:38.199 --> 00:02:40.879 get the idea that the hardy pull on them, the 47 00:02:41.360 --> 00:02:45.080 stronger the not gets, which you know implies the Herculean 48 00:02:45.199 --> 00:02:49.319 force and everything else. And so this heraclean knot was 49 00:02:49.400 --> 00:02:53.360 a prominent symbol of the Greek people when they were 50 00:02:53.400 --> 00:02:58.080 making marriage vows. So that's my symbol. 51 00:02:58.840 --> 00:03:02.199 Very nice. Uh, that's right, I gotta share. I always 52 00:03:02.199 --> 00:03:04.000 forget to do that. Here we go. 53 00:03:09.240 --> 00:03:11.680 Yeah, I got like a demon bowl, but they you know, 54 00:03:11.680 --> 00:03:13.240 it's a little bit shorter, kind of like you as 55 00:03:13.280 --> 00:03:17.639 as much on it. But yeah, this is one of 56 00:03:17.680 --> 00:03:21.560 them right here. And this is a a demon binding 57 00:03:21.840 --> 00:03:27.840 bowl seal. It's late antique Mesopotamia is UH binding sigil 58 00:03:27.919 --> 00:03:30.800 drawn inside a small clay bowl. A demon is sketched 59 00:03:30.800 --> 00:03:33.680 in the center and encircled by a spiral spiral of 60 00:03:33.759 --> 00:03:39.719 sacred text, usually Jewish or Syriac or Aramaic. Many bowls 61 00:03:39.759 --> 00:03:44.159 add binding marks, chains, knots, or an enclosing circle across 62 00:03:44.240 --> 00:03:49.479 to seal the spirit. Museums uh in catalogs explicitly note 63 00:03:49.479 --> 00:03:55.000 bowls with bound demons spiral incantations. I find this one 64 00:03:55.240 --> 00:03:59.680 even a legal bill of divorce against demons. I do 65 00:03:59.680 --> 00:04:02.199 you think like some of its possibly done like actually 66 00:04:02.319 --> 00:04:03.199 like legal, like. 67 00:04:06.159 --> 00:04:07.240 Where's the first show up? 68 00:04:07.560 --> 00:04:10.360 Thousands are known from like fifth to seventh century CE, 69 00:04:10.439 --> 00:04:13.039 Mesopotamia somewhere. 70 00:04:12.719 --> 00:04:14.680 Around early is long period. 71 00:04:15.639 --> 00:04:18.879 Museum records date multiple examples from the fifth to sixth 72 00:04:18.920 --> 00:04:22.399 and later again and you can find it. 73 00:04:22.720 --> 00:04:26.160 They've been found in Iraq around the poor. 74 00:04:26.879 --> 00:04:31.199 The British Museum has a bunch of them, and then 75 00:04:31.279 --> 00:04:34.279 the met also has a bunch of them too. But 76 00:04:35.160 --> 00:04:37.959 and what it means. The spiral text is a trap 77 00:04:38.040 --> 00:04:41.639 and ward. As the writing coils outward, it surrounds and 78 00:04:41.680 --> 00:04:45.639 constrains the spirit named or pictured at the center. The 79 00:04:45.639 --> 00:04:49.199 wording often separates the client from demons using legal phrases 80 00:04:49.240 --> 00:04:52.240 and like I said before, Bill of dise divorced and 81 00:04:52.360 --> 00:04:57.360 basically turning Jewish legal speech into a magical weapon, just saying, 82 00:04:57.360 --> 00:04:59.319 I'm sure they love to do anyway with everything else 83 00:05:00.319 --> 00:05:05.680 names of angels, divine, epitash, and occasional uh uh, I 84 00:05:05.680 --> 00:05:10.480 can't even fucking pronounce that word, provided provide seals. Bulls 85 00:05:10.560 --> 00:05:15.279 might specify like targets too, like like fevers or nightmares 86 00:05:15.279 --> 00:05:17.600 from liliths or like certain threats and stuff like that. 87 00:05:17.759 --> 00:05:22.519 They can even some of them have even gotten that specific. Uh, yeah, 88 00:05:23.160 --> 00:05:26.120 so that's what they got. I got a couple of 89 00:05:26.199 --> 00:05:27.000 the pictures too. 90 00:05:28.160 --> 00:05:32.279 Is the is the bowl form of divination as well? 91 00:05:32.319 --> 00:05:34.000 So are you putting water in this bowl? 92 00:05:34.079 --> 00:05:36.600 Or is this say anything about that? Which I would 93 00:05:36.720 --> 00:05:38.720 for You're right, I did find it interesting that. I 94 00:05:38.800 --> 00:05:40.519 was like, it's a bowl, but nothing's like being placed 95 00:05:40.560 --> 00:05:40.800 in it? 96 00:05:40.920 --> 00:05:47.600 Like, no, yeah, it's an interesting way of making a 97 00:05:48.360 --> 00:05:49.040 what's that called? 98 00:05:50.040 --> 00:05:50.120 Not? 99 00:05:52.199 --> 00:05:54.759 You know, you've got the pentacles, right, so you have 100 00:05:54.839 --> 00:05:56.800 to have the base, and so that's sort of what 101 00:05:56.839 --> 00:06:01.319 they're using is their base for their magical workings. But yeah, 102 00:06:01.360 --> 00:06:03.639 this reminds me a lot of the coillax too. The 103 00:06:03.800 --> 00:06:07.920 coylex is the Greek bowl cups that they would used 104 00:06:07.920 --> 00:06:12.560 for wine. They would put comics or pictures at the 105 00:06:12.560 --> 00:06:15.439 bottom of the colax, so as you're drinking your wine, 106 00:06:15.480 --> 00:06:18.000 you see more and more of the picture at the 107 00:06:18.000 --> 00:06:24.439 bottom of it. That's fun. And they would say sometimes 108 00:06:24.839 --> 00:06:27.920 coylexes were magical, So this seems like an outgrowth of that. 109 00:06:28.040 --> 00:06:32.000 This is also part of the what's that tradition where 110 00:06:32.000 --> 00:06:36.879 they're using the chariot of the spirit. I remember that 111 00:06:37.120 --> 00:06:40.319 the chariot is in Hebrew, but I forgot the word 112 00:06:40.360 --> 00:06:45.079 for it and Hebrew. Oh I should, right, you know 113 00:06:45.120 --> 00:06:48.439 what I'm talking about that right? Apostle Paul was into 114 00:06:48.439 --> 00:06:57.480 that as well, Marcaba mysticism. So yeah, that's pretty interesting. 115 00:06:57.720 --> 00:06:59.879 I like the beam and bowls. Now did they use 116 00:06:59.920 --> 00:07:03.279 the word book or they didn't mention the book? 117 00:07:03.560 --> 00:07:03.759 Oh? 118 00:07:03.879 --> 00:07:05.560 No, controversial? 119 00:07:06.639 --> 00:07:08.040 H difficult? Whatever that was? 120 00:07:08.720 --> 00:07:11.079 Yeah, the book one of those. 121 00:07:11.560 --> 00:07:11.680 Uh. 122 00:07:11.959 --> 00:07:14.240 The guy related to Jeffrey Epstein says he had a 123 00:07:14.279 --> 00:07:18.399 personal book that would take over his body. Uh. Les Wexner. 124 00:07:19.199 --> 00:07:23.079 He said that in an interview. I wonder if he's 125 00:07:23.079 --> 00:07:28.920 doing these bold things, it would be interesting. But uh, 126 00:07:29.000 --> 00:07:32.319 let's get to winter. So Winter, where do you think 127 00:07:33.079 --> 00:07:37.519 that your your journey really started out? Definitely? And you 128 00:07:37.600 --> 00:07:40.639 knew that you were on a journey of self discovery. 129 00:07:40.680 --> 00:07:42.600 When I was about five or six. 130 00:07:44.480 --> 00:07:47.560 Yeah, Now did this start with the dreams? 131 00:07:48.720 --> 00:07:49.560 Yeah? They did. 132 00:07:50.120 --> 00:07:54.959 And also a lot of people say sleep paralysis is 133 00:07:55.040 --> 00:07:58.319 just your mind, but this seems a little bit more 134 00:07:58.360 --> 00:08:00.720 significant than just a dream. 135 00:08:01.079 --> 00:08:02.759 Like the experience that I had. 136 00:08:04.839 --> 00:08:11.079 The first one is I woke up and I know 137 00:08:12.399 --> 00:08:14.920 that I wasn't sleeping because I could see the flickering 138 00:08:15.000 --> 00:08:16.759 of the TV in the hallway and I could hear 139 00:08:16.800 --> 00:08:20.839 my grandparents talking, but I had like a green guy 140 00:08:21.600 --> 00:08:24.439 on my chest and I couldn't breathe. I thought I 141 00:08:24.519 --> 00:08:26.879 was going to die. He looked like he was made 142 00:08:26.879 --> 00:08:30.480 of plasma, but I didn't even know that word. He 143 00:08:30.639 --> 00:08:34.000 you know, those those electric balls that you touch and 144 00:08:34.039 --> 00:08:39.000 like the you could find them at Spencer's and like, yes, 145 00:08:39.320 --> 00:08:41.720 that's what it looked like he was made of. And 146 00:08:41.759 --> 00:08:44.360 he was stomping on my chest and I thought I 147 00:08:44.440 --> 00:08:47.759 was literally going to die, And then apparently I didn't, 148 00:08:47.759 --> 00:08:51.639 because I woke up the next day. Now, not knowing 149 00:08:52.440 --> 00:08:54.799 at the time what that might have meant, I'm thinking 150 00:08:55.039 --> 00:08:57.519 it was like the green man, because he looked like 151 00:08:57.559 --> 00:09:01.200 the guy off of the Frozen Peace, you know, the 152 00:09:02.159 --> 00:09:05.279 green giant frozen piece, which was my only association at 153 00:09:05.279 --> 00:09:06.559 that age. 154 00:09:06.960 --> 00:09:09.320 So that was the first one. 155 00:09:11.080 --> 00:09:13.360 The second one, this was a dream, and I can 156 00:09:13.399 --> 00:09:16.440 remember my dreams better than my actual childhood, so they 157 00:09:16.440 --> 00:09:21.879 were really like implanted in my head. And one was 158 00:09:21.960 --> 00:09:24.559 I left the house and I went to the backyard 159 00:09:24.600 --> 00:09:26.240 and I climbed over the wall and I found a 160 00:09:26.279 --> 00:09:29.240 stick and I was like, oh, this stick can write. 161 00:09:29.279 --> 00:09:33.440 It was like it had been burned and wetted, and 162 00:09:33.440 --> 00:09:36.559 then you could write on the walls like an ash. 163 00:09:37.600 --> 00:09:42.159 And now I realized, that's almost like the four Elements. 164 00:09:42.679 --> 00:09:45.159 I didn't again, I was five or six. So I 165 00:09:45.200 --> 00:09:48.120 go in the house and I start writing with it, 166 00:09:49.279 --> 00:09:51.360 and I don't know what happened to between, because dreams 167 00:09:51.399 --> 00:09:53.399 are weird. But then I stood back from it and 168 00:09:53.440 --> 00:09:57.080 I had written symbols up and down the wall, and 169 00:09:58.320 --> 00:10:01.279 my grandmother in the dream came in and said, you've 170 00:10:01.399 --> 00:10:03.519 just opened something you can't close. Now you have to 171 00:10:03.519 --> 00:10:06.320 burn the house down. And then I felt like I 172 00:10:06.320 --> 00:10:09.039 did something awful, like I was terrified, and I asked, 173 00:10:09.200 --> 00:10:13.440 you know, can we rebuild it? Because I was terrified. 174 00:10:13.480 --> 00:10:15.279 And then I saw my mom crying in front of 175 00:10:15.279 --> 00:10:18.879 a fireplace and she wasn't hearing me, and there was 176 00:10:18.919 --> 00:10:20.960 an owl next to it. There was a there was 177 00:10:21.000 --> 00:10:24.799 always an owl growing up. There was this, you know, decoration. 178 00:10:25.919 --> 00:10:31.159 And now I'm thinking, because I wanted, I was going 179 00:10:31.159 --> 00:10:33.360 through so much trauma, not having my parents, and I 180 00:10:33.440 --> 00:10:39.279 was calling out to anything that something did answer, if 181 00:10:39.279 --> 00:10:42.440 that makes sense, because that's the only thing that I 182 00:10:42.480 --> 00:10:47.039 can think of. And then the third one that I 183 00:10:47.080 --> 00:10:52.279 remember really clearly was. I wasn't dreaming for this. I 184 00:10:52.440 --> 00:10:55.840 went into my grandparents' bedroom because I was. 185 00:10:55.879 --> 00:10:59.720 Raised by them, and I would climb in between them. 186 00:10:59.720 --> 00:11:03.399 But what I didn't put in the email was sometimes 187 00:11:03.480 --> 00:11:05.799 it felt like there were shadow things in the room 188 00:11:05.799 --> 00:11:08.200 trying to grab at me, and it would actually touch 189 00:11:08.240 --> 00:11:08.919 my feet. 190 00:11:08.639 --> 00:11:09.320 In my hands. 191 00:11:10.639 --> 00:11:13.279 But one night I woke up and I was off 192 00:11:13.320 --> 00:11:15.759 the bed like two or three feet and I couldn't move, 193 00:11:15.960 --> 00:11:19.360 and I could breathe. I could only see here, and 194 00:11:20.200 --> 00:11:23.360 there was a feminine voice that said, don't be scared, 195 00:11:23.360 --> 00:11:25.759 We're not going to hurt you, and there was a 196 00:11:25.840 --> 00:11:29.879 masculine voice. That's all I remember. Then I was playing 197 00:11:29.960 --> 00:11:34.600 in my grandparents' living room and I looked up at 198 00:11:34.639 --> 00:11:40.559 the rotary phone and that triggered something and I remembered, 199 00:11:40.600 --> 00:11:43.679 and I remember the night that it happened, and they 200 00:11:43.720 --> 00:11:46.600 said they were angels. But if they were angels, why 201 00:11:46.600 --> 00:11:50.120 would I be scared? And that's what I remember. And 202 00:11:50.200 --> 00:11:54.840 that was five six years old, so I think that's 203 00:11:54.879 --> 00:11:55.600 when it started. 204 00:11:57.240 --> 00:12:00.159 Well, it's interesting the connection to the Green Man. And 205 00:12:00.200 --> 00:12:04.039 you know, we did that show on Jules's channel last 206 00:12:04.039 --> 00:12:06.679 Friday about the Green Man, and it's like all these 207 00:12:06.720 --> 00:12:10.639 little green characters throughout all these different mythologies sort of 208 00:12:11.039 --> 00:12:14.879 play a role in like awakening something within us. So 209 00:12:15.320 --> 00:12:18.679 did you find that these dreams caused an awakening of 210 00:12:18.759 --> 00:12:21.519 maybe perceptions or ways of seeing the world that you 211 00:12:21.559 --> 00:12:22.360 hadn't seen before. 212 00:12:22.720 --> 00:12:22.960 Yeah. 213 00:12:23.080 --> 00:12:27.720 Yeah, And in fact, when I started looking for some answers, 214 00:12:27.759 --> 00:12:30.679 I found this place called the Krii Center for Consciousness 215 00:12:30.720 --> 00:12:32.879 Studies because I was going through a really bad time. 216 00:12:33.000 --> 00:12:38.039 I've didn't at that point, and they they were asking 217 00:12:38.039 --> 00:12:41.000 me questions to find out if I even belonged like 218 00:12:41.200 --> 00:12:43.440 in that group, and when I said, I had a 219 00:12:43.480 --> 00:12:46.320 little green guy and that's how I found out later 220 00:12:46.360 --> 00:12:50.240 that's how they knew that this was legit because it 221 00:12:50.279 --> 00:12:52.320 wasn't a well known thing at the time and people 222 00:12:52.320 --> 00:12:55.159 were thinking about aliens and paranormal that it was often 223 00:12:55.200 --> 00:13:01.159 a green guy involved. So I don't know, it's interesting. 224 00:13:02.519 --> 00:13:07.799 Well, what's interesting to me is the panic, right, because oftentimes, 225 00:13:07.840 --> 00:13:11.279 like the panic associated with you know, running into these 226 00:13:12.039 --> 00:13:16.480 more rustic type deities that are associated with the you know, 227 00:13:16.559 --> 00:13:20.080 the green woods and stuff like that is really associated 228 00:13:20.080 --> 00:13:22.759 with the heavy sets of panic. Now, what I found 229 00:13:22.919 --> 00:13:26.120 with pans specifically is that if you can move through 230 00:13:26.159 --> 00:13:28.879 the panic and you know that it's coming, it doesn't 231 00:13:28.879 --> 00:13:31.200 have the same sort of effect. But people aren't really 232 00:13:31.240 --> 00:13:34.840 told about that sort of you know effect. So if 233 00:13:34.879 --> 00:13:37.320 they were told, hey, you are supposed to feel the 234 00:13:37.360 --> 00:13:40.360 panic moved through you, and then once it's gone, it 235 00:13:40.399 --> 00:13:46.000 doesn't come back right, you can control And it sounds 236 00:13:46.000 --> 00:13:47.840 like You've also got a lot of half in, half 237 00:13:47.840 --> 00:13:52.080 out experiences with out a body, so like this is 238 00:13:52.159 --> 00:13:55.240 part of you know, why it would seem so threatening 239 00:13:55.320 --> 00:13:57.840 is because you're you're basically immobilized because half of your 240 00:13:57.840 --> 00:14:01.159 body is in the body and half is out right. 241 00:14:01.320 --> 00:14:04.399 So it seems like a mix of different energies that 242 00:14:04.440 --> 00:14:07.320 are taking place here. So what did you learn at 243 00:14:07.320 --> 00:14:09.559 the Center for Consciousness Studies. 244 00:14:10.679 --> 00:14:14.000 I didn't learn a whole lot other than an experience, 245 00:14:14.080 --> 00:14:18.200 but I should probably start like where things started to 246 00:14:18.399 --> 00:14:20.679 kick in again in my life because I would have 247 00:14:20.799 --> 00:14:24.799 series of dreams and it would always be three and 248 00:14:24.840 --> 00:14:26.639 like I said, I can't remember what I ate for 249 00:14:26.679 --> 00:14:29.519 dinner last night, but I can remember these more vivid 250 00:14:29.600 --> 00:14:33.519 than reality. And they would often come with a vibration 251 00:14:33.720 --> 00:14:35.679 at the end, so I'd wake up and I'd still 252 00:14:35.720 --> 00:14:40.240 hear it in my head. So you know, when people 253 00:14:40.320 --> 00:14:43.960 are talking about like the singing bowls, I'm like, okay, 254 00:14:44.399 --> 00:14:48.000 I'm starting to kind of get what's happening. This is 255 00:14:48.039 --> 00:14:51.120 an internal change, though, and I didn't have any singing bowls, 256 00:14:51.159 --> 00:14:56.679 So so it picks up where I was going through. 257 00:14:56.639 --> 00:14:57.399 A rough patch. 258 00:14:57.559 --> 00:15:01.840 I couldn't I didn't have good relationships. I couldn't I 259 00:15:01.879 --> 00:15:07.559 couldn't manage anything, and my life wasn't going anywhere. And 260 00:15:08.759 --> 00:15:10.759 I guess what people would call a dark knight of 261 00:15:10.799 --> 00:15:16.039 the soul. I did this crazy thing because I couldn't 262 00:15:16.080 --> 00:15:18.159 stay in the house. I had to go. I had 263 00:15:18.200 --> 00:15:21.600 to drive. I just had to get out. And it 264 00:15:21.639 --> 00:15:25.360 was like this emotion erupting from within. And so I 265 00:15:25.399 --> 00:15:28.000 picked some Rando that I didn't even know that was 266 00:15:28.440 --> 00:15:31.120 on my list, and I figured, I know, this sounds terrible. 267 00:15:31.120 --> 00:15:32.919 I'm like, he looks like kind of a loser. He's 268 00:15:32.919 --> 00:15:36.279 probably up to, like, you know, six am. At least 269 00:15:36.320 --> 00:15:38.559 I have a spot on the map. I didn't even 270 00:15:38.600 --> 00:15:41.559 want to hang out with him. I just needed a 271 00:15:41.559 --> 00:15:44.639 spot on the map to go so I could just drive. 272 00:15:47.240 --> 00:15:50.960 So I drove from New Hampshire all the way to 273 00:15:51.000 --> 00:15:55.519 Connecticut in the middle of the night, and it just 274 00:15:55.559 --> 00:15:58.559 so happened that I was listening to V and V 275 00:15:58.720 --> 00:16:02.960 Nation at the time that album had just dropped, and 276 00:16:03.080 --> 00:16:06.799 I got while I'm driving, I got listening to the 277 00:16:06.879 --> 00:16:11.919 song Nova. Now, if anyone's heard it, it's a beautiful song. However, 278 00:16:12.600 --> 00:16:16.879 I listened to this song for hours. I felt that song. 279 00:16:17.000 --> 00:16:18.879 I don't know what it was about it, but I 280 00:16:19.080 --> 00:16:23.000 cried a whole lifetime of tears on the highway. And 281 00:16:23.039 --> 00:16:25.320 then you've got those lines now going, you know, when 282 00:16:25.360 --> 00:16:30.120 you're on a highway late at night, and now looking 283 00:16:30.159 --> 00:16:34.559 back at the lyrics, I'm going, wait a minute, like, 284 00:16:35.480 --> 00:16:37.519 I don't know if you've ever looked up the lyrics 285 00:16:37.519 --> 00:16:40.159 for Nova, but it's. 286 00:16:39.960 --> 00:16:41.919 Been a long time, but I remember that album. It 287 00:16:41.960 --> 00:16:42.679 was amazing. 288 00:16:43.480 --> 00:16:48.200 Yeah, yeah, And so it was basically, you know, to 289 00:16:48.279 --> 00:16:51.279 burn everything away, which I didn't. I went at the 290 00:16:51.279 --> 00:16:55.519 time associated associate that to my childhood. Open the skies 291 00:16:55.559 --> 00:17:00.679 and burn it all away, illuminate me, make me complete, 292 00:17:01.279 --> 00:17:04.200 you know. And then this, like when you listen to it, 293 00:17:04.240 --> 00:17:07.119 there's a certain frequency to that, and I'm thinking that 294 00:17:07.240 --> 00:17:11.640 was almost like a hyper sigil at this point, because 295 00:17:11.759 --> 00:17:15.599 I drove all the way to Connecticut. I get to 296 00:17:15.599 --> 00:17:18.240 the house and this is the weirdest thing. This guy 297 00:17:18.319 --> 00:17:20.559 lived in his mom's basement. So he's exactly what I 298 00:17:20.599 --> 00:17:22.400 thought he was. You know, he's too old for that. 299 00:17:22.559 --> 00:17:26.240 But it said like one more step to Hell or 300 00:17:26.279 --> 00:17:30.039 welcome to Hell on the stairs. Now I shouldn't have 301 00:17:30.079 --> 00:17:31.880 taken note of that, because you know, he was a 302 00:17:31.880 --> 00:17:34.240 goth kid, right, our goth guy at that point. He 303 00:17:34.279 --> 00:17:35.599 was way too old to be in the basement. 304 00:17:35.680 --> 00:17:38.480 But but for. 305 00:17:38.400 --> 00:17:42.039 Some reason I took note of that, and so I 306 00:17:42.119 --> 00:17:44.039 hung out for about an hour and then I drove 307 00:17:44.160 --> 00:17:47.119 all the way back and I went to bed. I 308 00:17:47.160 --> 00:17:51.559 felt better, I'd gotten all the crying out, and that 309 00:17:51.559 --> 00:17:56.279 that morning I went to bed, and so it must 310 00:17:56.279 --> 00:17:58.440 have been at like eleven am by the time I 311 00:17:58.480 --> 00:18:02.319 actually woke up. I got out of my bed. I 312 00:18:02.359 --> 00:18:04.960 looked back at the bed. There was me on the bed, 313 00:18:07.559 --> 00:18:09.440 and for some reason I didn't think this was strange. 314 00:18:10.480 --> 00:18:13.319 I walked outside the house and it was like a 315 00:18:13.359 --> 00:18:17.200 heavy heaviness, like the sun was shining, the birds were chirping, 316 00:18:17.200 --> 00:18:20.920 but everything felt heavy and I didn't know why. So 317 00:18:20.960 --> 00:18:22.480 I walked to the back of the house and like 318 00:18:22.680 --> 00:18:25.680 I'm thinking about this. I was looking east and instead 319 00:18:25.720 --> 00:18:27.519 of where there were houses, there was a big dark 320 00:18:27.559 --> 00:18:29.960 forest and I knew I had to get through it 321 00:18:31.359 --> 00:18:35.960 and it would be full of terrifying things. And next 322 00:18:35.960 --> 00:18:39.680 thing I know, I'm on a mountaintop and there's a 323 00:18:39.720 --> 00:18:42.079 man standing there holding a sword, but I could only 324 00:18:42.119 --> 00:18:47.359 see his frame, so I'm like, what is this right? 325 00:18:48.319 --> 00:18:54.119 And then this ball of light came down and this like, 326 00:18:54.720 --> 00:18:58.079 this was I've never felt the sense of love so big. 327 00:18:58.160 --> 00:19:02.119 It was like it was crazy, and it the it 328 00:19:02.119 --> 00:19:04.440 said You're going to go someplace else and be someone else. 329 00:19:06.119 --> 00:19:09.519 And I saw it as a vehicle and a star, 330 00:19:11.000 --> 00:19:13.400 but I didn't know what it was like. And then 331 00:19:13.480 --> 00:19:15.759 it was sort of like I was able to see 332 00:19:15.759 --> 00:19:18.920 that maybe I had lifetimes as other things in that, 333 00:19:19.559 --> 00:19:22.559 like everybody that I love is like even when I died, 334 00:19:22.640 --> 00:19:25.720 they're they're gonna just be in different bodies. It was 335 00:19:25.880 --> 00:19:28.599 just like this amazing thing, but it was also like 336 00:19:28.640 --> 00:19:30.279 it it was loved so much. 337 00:19:30.079 --> 00:19:31.400 It was heart it was painful. 338 00:19:33.160 --> 00:19:36.039 And then I was standing there making the decision do 339 00:19:36.160 --> 00:19:38.960 I go back or do I go into this thing? 340 00:19:39.720 --> 00:19:41.640 And then I woke up and it felt like my 341 00:19:41.759 --> 00:19:46.200 heart had been like ripped open and I was gasping 342 00:19:46.240 --> 00:19:48.279 for air and. 343 00:19:49.599 --> 00:19:51.359 I didn't know what. I didn't know what that was. 344 00:19:53.319 --> 00:19:56.480 I think I know now, Well, it sounds. 345 00:19:56.200 --> 00:19:58.720 A whole lot like that Mercaba idea, right. 346 00:19:58.559 --> 00:20:00.640 Because yeah, that's why. 347 00:20:00.039 --> 00:20:01.880 Vehicle and uh yeah, exactly. 348 00:20:02.680 --> 00:20:03.039 But I was. 349 00:20:02.960 --> 00:20:05.160 Supposed to get in this vehicle with this other person 350 00:20:05.200 --> 00:20:07.319 that I didn't know. That was the weird part. The 351 00:20:07.359 --> 00:20:09.119 guy that I couldn't see his face, but I could 352 00:20:09.160 --> 00:20:11.759 see his outline clearly, like I knew he was going 353 00:20:11.839 --> 00:20:15.559 to be important in this dream that wasn't a dream. 354 00:20:15.960 --> 00:20:16.640 And so. 355 00:20:18.839 --> 00:20:21.480 A few years well, how should I say this, this 356 00:20:21.519 --> 00:20:24.160 person showed up in my reality and I recognized him 357 00:20:24.160 --> 00:20:26.880 because he's got a very unique frame and he has 358 00:20:27.079 --> 00:20:30.200 he's I have a child with him now. And let's 359 00:20:30.200 --> 00:20:32.799 just say his last name has to do with light. 360 00:20:34.799 --> 00:20:38.759 And I can't explain any of this other than something 361 00:20:38.839 --> 00:20:40.319 happened that night listening. 362 00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:40.279 To that. 363 00:20:44.319 --> 00:20:47.200 Hits you right on somebody's macaba. Maybe it was yours, 364 00:20:47.200 --> 00:20:49.160 maybe it was his, who knows, Maybe it was both 365 00:20:49.160 --> 00:20:50.000 of you guys together. 366 00:20:50.559 --> 00:20:51.799 Yeah, yeah, I don't know. 367 00:20:52.160 --> 00:20:52.640 I don't know. 368 00:20:52.920 --> 00:20:57.200 But when I heard Nick talking about the sense of 369 00:20:57.279 --> 00:20:59.319 love so great, like you can't explain it, like with 370 00:20:59.440 --> 00:21:01.880 the meditation, and it felt like I went I skipped 371 00:21:01.880 --> 00:21:05.279 everything and went right to that and then got sent 372 00:21:05.359 --> 00:21:08.839 back to get back back up there. 373 00:21:09.440 --> 00:21:17.519 Maybe so I have no idea I so be after 374 00:21:17.720 --> 00:21:18.519 that happened. 375 00:21:18.559 --> 00:21:21.119 I hadn't met him at the time, you know, my 376 00:21:21.200 --> 00:21:28.039 boyfriend at the time. Basically which part should I start with. 377 00:21:30.079 --> 00:21:34.119 I ended up at the gym doing yoga, realizing that 378 00:21:34.160 --> 00:21:37.319 a lot of my problems were based in food that 379 00:21:37.400 --> 00:21:39.400 I had no idea, and it was so strange. It 380 00:21:39.440 --> 00:21:41.720 was like I was tripping on breadcrumbs and finding like 381 00:21:41.759 --> 00:21:45.079 what was wrong. And then the more I did the 382 00:21:45.200 --> 00:21:47.640 yoga and took care of my body and cleaned myself up, 383 00:21:47.880 --> 00:21:51.000 then I started feeling like I was going crazy. And 384 00:21:51.480 --> 00:21:55.920 I'm starting to think I that was the the energy 385 00:21:55.960 --> 00:21:58.480 and the spine rising up, and it got to be 386 00:21:58.559 --> 00:22:05.480 the at the point that like I thought, I thought 387 00:22:05.519 --> 00:22:08.519 I was going to end up in a looney bin. However, 388 00:22:08.880 --> 00:22:09.960 I mean, I had no one that. 389 00:22:09.960 --> 00:22:11.279 Could explain what was happening. 390 00:22:11.839 --> 00:22:15.079 But this kicked off with a dream about a sexual 391 00:22:15.160 --> 00:22:18.519 snake woman who was trying to devour me, and within 392 00:22:18.599 --> 00:22:23.559 her mouth was this darkness that was like everything twisted 393 00:22:24.160 --> 00:22:29.119 like broken, disfigured, and I got out of her mouth 394 00:22:29.880 --> 00:22:34.119 and then the lights turned on and so that was symbolic, 395 00:22:35.160 --> 00:22:35.960 and that goes. 396 00:22:37.400 --> 00:22:40.440 Right, it's like right there with the same Yeah, but 397 00:22:40.480 --> 00:22:43.960 nobody's telling you to stuff. No, Like it's confusing as 398 00:22:44.000 --> 00:22:45.880 hell because you're not you don't have the frame of 399 00:22:45.960 --> 00:22:49.640 reference to know exactly what this kind of energy means. Yeah. 400 00:22:49.720 --> 00:22:52.480 Yeah, I started to feel like I wasn't alone. There's 401 00:22:53.279 --> 00:22:58.240