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Speaker 1: Rob, what's the best way to support this podcast.

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Speaker 2: By going to patreon dot com slash softcore History, where

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for five dollars a month you will get an extra

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eight episodes a month, plus almost three years of back

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catalog content that is completely evergreen. It will take you

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forever to get through it. This is five dollars a

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month for endless content. At this point.

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Speaker 1: On today's Softcore History, we talk about a female.

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Speaker 2: Pharaoh, the female pharaoh.

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Speaker 1: And no, not the throat goat, not Cleopatra.

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Speaker 2: Not nefer td or whoever you say that name. Look,

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those girls get all the headlines, but the real goat

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is the chick you've never heard of, and she is

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finally getting her due on softcore History.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to softcore History.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to softocore History. I'm your host for the

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week Damagester, joined as always by Rob Fox What is up?

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And special guest returning.

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Speaker 4: Guest putting a big numbers Monday.

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Speaker 1: Happy by the way, what?

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Speaker 4: Oh thank you?

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Speaker 2: Happy?

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Speaker 1: What Mexican independence?

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Speaker 4: It's tomorrow?

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, that's right. People think it's sincer to

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my own. But it's some day in September, never remember when,

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but it's one of the days, and so it's Guadalue,

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Guadalupe Hidalgo day.

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Speaker 4: Okay, but we don't really, I mean I don't. It's

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not really for me, but I I like it.

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Speaker 1: You can't speak Spanish though, no, I know that's.

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Speaker 4: Right, but like, I live in a Mexican neighborhood, so

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everyone is like it smells a lot like Carnita's today.

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Speaker 2: I just like, how borged you are to the United

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States of America. Oh, I'm fully assimilated. Yeah, to the

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point where you can't go back even if you wanted

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to know.

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Speaker 4: I am not. I am very not welcome. When I

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order our taco trucks and I try to do it

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in Spanish, but like there they offer me flower, they

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go flower, and I'm like corn, Like flower is an insult.

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Speaker 2: Because they look at me and they like the Mexican

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ladies at my gas station who can barely speak English,

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which is a great sign for a taco place.

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Speaker 1: And I like, I walk up and there they true

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I want roaches in the walls, hole in the water,

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standing gas.

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Speaker 2: Station tacos, but yeah, they just look at me and

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they're like they put flower on the on the ground

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without even they which is racist. But also right, that

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is what I was gonna work.

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Speaker 1: But I want them to fill food inspection every six months.

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What that's a good taco spot.

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Speaker 4: I thought you wanted to support small businesses.

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Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. They are going to get more

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in and out of business.

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Speaker 2: They're gonna get more of his money if they he

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doesn't like to walk.

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Speaker 4: Into like, doesn't like the lines, Yeah, fuck that. Like yeah,

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there's no no good reviews. Keep it to three stars

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on Google and Yelp.

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Speaker 2: But I like that a taco truck.

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Speaker 1: But all the negative reviews are just about the service,

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which I who cares?

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Speaker 4: Who cares?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they gave me the taco.

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Speaker 4: Don't eat out of Texico. If you want good service,

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the taco good.

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Speaker 1: No. I just like that.

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Speaker 2: Mexicans added like a taco truck or whatever. Look at

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you the way. I know for a fact that an

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Irish person has looked at me when I told them

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I was Irish American. Oh I'm yeah, good lord, you're nothing.

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Speaker 4: Go back, go back to the suburbs now, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Go back to your fucking cult de sac. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I think the Irish these days would take you with

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open arms, maybe with the alternative, This guy was like

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real deal Irish Like.

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Speaker 2: This guy wasn't like I mean, this guy was just

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like drunk in a dark bar, doesn't want anyone.

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Speaker 1: Did they try to recruit you to potentially join the IRA.

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Speaker 2: Maybe because his first the first thing he talked at

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to me.

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Speaker 4: That's how drunk he was. This guy had lost all cohesion,

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cohesion between is what he's seeing and what he's doing.

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Speaker 5: About cars that don't end up together at the end

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of a turn of the key, how do you feel

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about a car that you turn your start it isn't

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it thinks so much together after you do.

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Speaker 1: That's going to be terrifying. What it's going to be

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terrifying in Northern Ireland every time you just get in

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your car. Yeah, I would not have a car.

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Speaker 2: You're like, well, I know, no shit, dude, you take

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a cab.

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Speaker 4: I wouldn't. I wouldn't drive. I feel like in Ireland

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women's rights are so late, like they probably don't let

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them drive anyway, Like they probably don't own cars.

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Speaker 2: What political position would you even hold to have your

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car bombed?

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Speaker 4: None?

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Speaker 2: No, granted you might end up, you know, raising nine

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children by yourself after your husband's exploded, in which case

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you might might have wanted to be in the car.

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Speaker 4: Maybe I'll raise a president and or like assirce it

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and kind of get my way there eventually after they

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all die. Oh yeah, in ways that are kind of

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my fault.

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Speaker 2: You're the Queen mother of Ireland. Yeah, I like that.

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Speaker 4: I don't like the royals there.

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Speaker 1: Today's topic it's not about Ireland. It's not about independence either.

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Speaker 4: What subculture are we criticizing today?

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Speaker 1: The Egyptians. We're going ancient nice.

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Speaker 4: I love the Egyptians. Fuck you, I'm excited.

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Speaker 1: And we're going with a badass bitch. Hell yeah, we're

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going with a queen. Yeah, we're going with a lady pharaoh.

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Speaker 2: Let's go. Can I tell you my favorite ancient historical

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Egyptian fact?

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Speaker 4: Bees in the like desiccated pumpkin as a dildo or whatever.

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Speaker 2: No, no, I mean that's all fun, certainly. Oh the

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bees and the vibrator. Yeah yeah yeah, no, no, no, no,

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I don't it's I was talking to Veronica about this

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the other day. Ran away, but it's my one of

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my favorite. This is clearly like an ancient Egyptian historical fact.

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So we're talking about being triggered by our baby's cries

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or whatever. You know what I mean, being like it

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just like sets you off in one way or the other.

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So one thing I learned recently is that a baby's

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cry will also say and uh nile crocodiles into a frenzy.

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Speaker 4: Really because like a feeding frenzy, like they get.

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Speaker 1: Food.

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Speaker 2: Because back in the day, like way back in the

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Egyptian day, you know, mom has to put baby down

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to I don't know, grab some reeds or some clay.

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Right there, baby starts crying crocs. No, oh, that's a

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that's the original door desk. Yeah, that's a.

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Speaker 1: Free three thousand calories right there. Moses is a confirmed

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quiet baby.

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Speaker 2: Yes, Moses had had to have been a quiet baby.

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Speaker 4: He was a real peaceful guy. Yeah, since birth.

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Speaker 1: I can't believe he gave up that life.

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Speaker 2: I would be a prince.

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Speaker 4: Wouldn't be me.

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Speaker 1: It wouldn't be me save a few of your fellow men,

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I don't know, wander the desert for forty years, not

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even getting the paradise because you doubted God.

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Speaker 4: Maybe he did it for the gains. Maybe he did

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it for the.

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Speaker 2: Gains leg gains, Cardio.

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Speaker 4: You did probably really cut.

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Speaker 2: You know they're going a.

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Speaker 1: Ton of carbs from the sky and manna. Yeah, true,

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not a ton of protein.

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Speaker 4: But maybe he wanted to be kind of like Christian Bale,

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like losing a lot of role in machine. Yeah, like really.

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Speaker 2: Gone to play Moses.

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Speaker 4: Also, oh really, Jesus?

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Speaker 2: And what was it? It was Egypt? Gods and kings?

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Was that it? And I believe it was.

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Speaker 1: No one's ever said I want the Christian Beale body

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from the machinist when you go to the gym.

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Speaker 4: I want trainer, That's what I want. I want to

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I want to be so skiddy that people are worried.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you want it because you want that wiggle room.

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You know what I mean. You want to be able

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to eat a whole pizza and not feel bad about yourself,

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and you need a machinist body to be able to

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do that.

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Speaker 1: Well, today we're going to talk about a woman named

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hat Shep suit Okay.

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Speaker 4: Can I see it how it's spelled? Because I feel like,

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did you hear you? You googled it?

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Speaker 1: Here on out, I'm going to refer to her as Shep.

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Speaker 4: What about Halp? What about Hap?

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Speaker 2: Well? Happy?

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Speaker 1: I mean it could be hat you want to go

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with hat or shep hat. I don't want to say

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hat set soup.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, hatt yeah.

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Speaker 1: Hat as in what I'm wearing on my head.

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Speaker 2: I like hat better than ship.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, shep sounds a little too, butch.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, what the fourth stooge?

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Speaker 4: Hattie?

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Speaker 2: Hattie Hattie?

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Speaker 1: All right, we'll go with Hattie.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's cute.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So hatshet soup, now referred to as Hattie, translates

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to most important noble lady or baddest bitch in the Empire.

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Speaker 4: Yes, let's go. We love a big name for a

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big gal.

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Speaker 1: She was born in fifteen o seven BC to Pharaoh

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thut Moose and Queen Amos. Those names I don't care about.

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Speaker 2: I think it's tout Moose topmost, but it doesn't matter.

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Speaker 1: I said topmost, Yeah, you got it, topmost.

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Speaker 4: The first was she the firstborn.

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Speaker 1: Now Hattie was raised in the royal courts with her

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sister and two brothers, who all died in childhood. She

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also had a half sibling for I thought most's secondary wife.

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So yeah, her dad had two wives. Yeah, but her

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mom was the main bitch.

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Speaker 4: She was like the queen.

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Speaker 1: Her mom was like yeah, and then the other girl

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was a kind of a side.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, like backup, beteam, backup. Probably speaking of.

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Speaker 2: Moses and stuff, this would be about you said, fifteen

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hundred BC. Yeah, about two hundred years before Moses.

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Speaker 1: And we'll kind of get to what some theorize in

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the Bible with her, okay a little later, some kind

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of Egypt's always offer up that the time's a little off.

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Speaker 2: Egypt's a player on and off throughout the Bible because

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they're right fucking next to Israel, right, and they're.

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Speaker 4: Just so cool. Like I feel like Egypt was just

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really advanced and like a lot of things, like they

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just and like I feel like they understood how to

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live life and like you know, have slaves and make art,

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but like great art, yeah, great art.

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Speaker 2: I feel like like, like think about it, like there

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was a Bible written in Canada day. They talk about

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America a lot. Yeah, yeah, you know, and I hope

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there is a Bible being cooler in Canada day.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, undoubtedly, Bible.

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Speaker 4: This is a lot of stories.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, sorry, Jesus on the Cross.

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Speaker 1: This is technically Egypt's like third Golden Era. Yeah, so

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they've they've been around, they've been building.

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Speaker 4: Never do you think the Egyptian ancestors like, look at

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what's happening in Egypt now, and they're like, you guys

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ruined everything we did, you don't think.

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Speaker 1: So there's a pizza head across from the pyramids.

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Speaker 4: There's a pizzahead everywhere.

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Speaker 2: I think, this is like, what a thousand years after

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the pyramids were built?

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Speaker 1: Exactly. Razy.

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Speaker 4: They're like, look at those old days.

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Speaker 2: Twenty yes, yeah, literally twenty five seventy five. So yeah,

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this is a thousand years of So we're as far

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away right now from the pyramids being built of Giza.

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There's obviously a lot of other pyramids as we currently

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are from one ten twenty four, so the first Crusade

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hasn't even happened.

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Speaker 4: Yet as they are from the yeah yeah, yeah yeah.

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Speaker 1: So all of her normal siblings from her mom they

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died during childhood, but her half brother survives. I think

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she has like another sister from the other marriage.

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Speaker 2: I wonder which siblings she's paying the most to their

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deaths A little bit, I don't think. So.

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Speaker 1: She had a pretty big responsibility from a young age.

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So at nine, Hattie was the high priestess for the

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Temple of a Moon, which came with a very important responsibility,

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which was sexual. How oh no, you're right on the money, Ron.

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Speaker 4: What did she have to do, this nine year old girl?

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Speaker 2: Well, every day, Oh god, I don't.

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Speaker 4: Want to do anything every day.

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Speaker 1: I want to make sure that. Uh so the Egyptian

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god is a moon a m un. I don't know.

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I don't want to. I don't want to offend our

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you know Middle Eastern fans out there.

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Speaker 2: Sorry to any Egyptians out there. So they call it

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me like it's cool. I'm a Coptic Christian. Actually it's fine.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't listen to it, so I only I

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only read it a month.

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Speaker 4: We'll go with the month doesn't matter.

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Speaker 2: There's only two I could pronounce for sure, and it's

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Ocyrus and isis.

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Speaker 1: Well every day a month has to be rebirthed, oh god.

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And had he had the responsibility of going to the

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temple in Thebes, and in order to be reborn, he

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must get off. So she had a jerk off a

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statue of a month every morning.

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Speaker 2: Until it finished.

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Speaker 4: How do you know it's done now?

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Speaker 1: I was a little confused by that.

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Speaker 2: Well, what a comes off? What a rad religion? If

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you know how every once in a while people will

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be like, oh my god, that statue of Virgin Mary's

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eyes are bleeding like it's crying tears, you know what

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I mean? Yeah, this this statue.

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Speaker 4: The blood is dry, like look it's fresh blood.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the statue leaks Semen.

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Speaker 4: You think it's like a like a priest back there,

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like with the water bottle.

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Speaker 2: I think yeah, Or there's just a priest like walks

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into the into a statue. It's a statue that opens

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in the back.

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Speaker 4: Do you think she had to be observed or was

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it like chores of like come back when you're done.

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Speaker 1: It was a responsibility.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, So like maybe it's not a lot of fun

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in it. It's just a giving a statue a hand

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job every morning.

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Speaker 1: That doesn't sound like a good not rewarding. How could

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it be you're not getting any feedback.

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Speaker 4: Are you arguing that it would be better for her

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to give a real hand job to person not a nine? No,

295
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I would rather if it had it happen to me today,

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I'd rather do it to a statue every morning than like, So, yes,

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she's a handjob.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a lot took Chris Fallis into her palm,

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allowing him to recreate himself through his own.

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Speaker 2: Release, so he birds himself. I guess income he like asexually.

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Speaker 4: Like a genie comes out of his dick, his soul eyes,

302
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he's out here and then he I think it's.

303
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Speaker 1: It's an incredibly important gig, though.

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Speaker 2: Terminator to write like the terminator comes at you know,

305
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just yeah, but.

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Speaker 1: It's very important.

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Speaker 4: It suck. She couldn't share it with her siblings because.

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Speaker 1: If she doesn't do this every day, ancient Egyptians believe

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00:14:23,919 --> 00:14:24,639
the world would end.

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Speaker 4: Blue balls are world end?

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Speaker 1: A mon? Would you know? Just I guess, be angry

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00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:31,519
and just end the world if.

313
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Speaker 2: He doesn't get jerked off or I mean a guy

314
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gets used to it, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 4: I mean that's some that's some god ship. Like you

316
00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:41,600
couldn't pull an e give me a hand job every

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day unless you were an actual god, like a normal man.

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Like it's gonna you're gonna start hearing no pretty quick, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Like why don't or or at the very least even

320
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:52,000
if the girls like, you know, just like I want

321
00:14:52,039 --> 00:14:53,360
to do like I want to do a lot of

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00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,919
stuff every day. But it's just like, can we skip

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00:14:55,919 --> 00:14:58,080
the hand job and get to like real things. Yeah,

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it's like no, no, no, no.

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Speaker 4: I know Hendhoff sucks job. Every do you think he

326
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was doing like what Lewis UK talked about in his

327
00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:08,840
special where he was like at one point like holding

328
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her hand and being like no, I like it like this,

329
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and so he's like jerking himself off with her like

330
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like from her arm, you know, Like do you think he.

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Speaker 2: Would all that's fun. It's not bad, kind of.

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Speaker 4: Forceful, but like like a leading hand, you know, like

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00:15:22,279 --> 00:15:24,320
an elder teaching you how to write, how to like

334
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drive a stick shift.

335
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Speaker 2: I hope the statue did that. I want to believe

336
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in that any kind of magic, I guess, so just

337
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the statue is just fun, like after like four days.

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Speaker 1: Well I did read that the statue. I believe they

339
00:15:37,279 --> 00:15:41,279
kind of uh, I think milk was involved. No, it

340
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really simulated the whole process, so somebody's job. I think

341
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there was like a hole that you kind of poured

342
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it down, and so there was a priest.

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Speaker 2: In the back like all right, milk, it's been three minutes.

344
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That's good enough, right, let's just yeah.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: That reminds me of being a kid and looking at

347
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like porn on the internet as but this is like

348
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nineties Internet and photoshop wasn't very good and there would

349
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be like, man, this fuck with my brain. For so

350
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long I thought my sperm was sucked up because like

351
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:12,879
the dicks that were coming in like nineties still photo porn.

352
00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:16,039
I mean it looked like milk, like it was too white.

353
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Speaker 4: Oh, like they would like enhance it just well, they would.

354
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Speaker 1: Take something for that, right, there's always an advertisementains side

355
00:16:21,919 --> 00:16:25,120
of porn. It's like seman x, Yeah, but that's.

356
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Speaker 4: Free, Like nobody wants more. Like there's no woman is

357
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:31,039
like I have a few comments on your come. Yeah,

358
00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:34,080
like but like the volume, color, the volume, like no

359
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,840
one's like I wish, I wish there was more.

360
00:16:36,759 --> 00:16:40,799
Speaker 1: Maybe they have a skincare routine. I mean there was

361
00:16:40,799 --> 00:16:43,000
that lady that would put it in her shake every morning.

362
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Speaker 4: That's sad.

363
00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:47,080
Speaker 2: There's people who do facials with it too. Have you

364
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:48,279
ever done a vampire facial?

365
00:16:48,919 --> 00:16:51,399
Speaker 4: No? But I know what they are yeah, well yeah,

366
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:55,320
but it's blood. Yeah, Ki Kim Kardashian will she's like

367
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:57,279
I would put shit on my face if it would

368
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:58,159
make it fit it clear.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean you kind of got a point, right,

370
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:04,839
What is she? What are you willing to sacrifice for beauty.

371
00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:08,400
I mean, and is it your dignity?

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Speaker 2: Because answer, I don't think anyone at that shade of

373
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,519
like there's a certain like for me, I feel like

374
00:17:15,559 --> 00:17:17,440
I need a lot of skincare, or like my wife

375
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:21,319
because we're so pale, but like anyone like your shade

376
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:24,559
or darker, it's just like, aren't you just on cruise control? No?

377
00:17:24,599 --> 00:17:26,799
Speaker 4: I mean there's definitely things you do, but like I

378
00:17:26,839 --> 00:17:29,000
definitely would not be willing to lose my dignity. Like

379
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,119
I'm I even struggle to do things like, oh, if

380
00:17:31,119 --> 00:17:32,839
you do this for twenty minutes every day, then it's

381
00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:34,319
gonna like I can't even do that.

382
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,160
Speaker 2: I can't even commit to ironic. Considering your sister.

383
00:17:37,279 --> 00:17:39,119
Speaker 4: Oh that's all she does, yeah, all day?

384
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,039
Speaker 2: Who is just a skin scientist.

385
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,440
Speaker 4: She's just always putting shit on her face. She loves it.

386
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:45,440
I'm like, that's so nice that you have, Like I

387
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,559
don't know, I can't do it for that long. I

388
00:17:47,759 --> 00:17:48,319
washed my face.

389
00:17:48,559 --> 00:17:51,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like you guys, I've got it. Both

390
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:52,519
have great skins, all right.

391
00:17:52,599 --> 00:17:52,960
Speaker 4: Yeah.

392
00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:56,880
Speaker 1: So when Hattie her dad dies, her half brother thought

393
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:58,720
most of the second inherits the throne.

394
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Speaker 2: What she gets.

395
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:01,279
Speaker 1: Passed up there.

396
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:04,559
Speaker 4: Yeah, but he's a bastard.

397
00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:07,480
Speaker 1: He's not a bastard. It's his second.

398
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:10,359
Speaker 4: Wife, but it's like it's not his like it's his.

399
00:18:10,319 --> 00:18:11,279
Speaker 1: Oldest remaining son.

400
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:14,880
Speaker 2: I guess the royal born son. Right, it's not a

401
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:17,039
it's not a it is not a bastard.

402
00:18:16,799 --> 00:18:20,559
Speaker 1: Not a bastard. But we need to kind of bring

403
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:23,359
together the royalty, so there's no doubt.

404
00:18:24,119 --> 00:18:25,039
Speaker 4: Is she gonna marry him?

405
00:18:25,079 --> 00:18:25,559
Speaker 1: So they marry.

406
00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:26,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, that happens all the time.

407
00:18:26,759 --> 00:18:28,240
Speaker 4: I guess that's not too bad. It's not like they're

408
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:31,119
actual brother Yeah, it's kind of.

409
00:18:31,519 --> 00:18:32,160
Speaker 1: Not great.

410
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:40,480
Speaker 2: Egyptians royalty and we like to dunk on European royalty

411
00:18:40,599 --> 00:18:43,640
for uh, you know, marrying cousins and stuff like that.

412
00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:46,839
Egyptian royalty for periods. I don't know if it's like.

413
00:18:46,799 --> 00:18:49,319
Speaker 1: The whole whole time, like an abomination they are.

414
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:53,960
Speaker 2: They are straight up banging brother sister like it is

415
00:18:54,079 --> 00:18:58,440
not cousin, it is brother sister bang city.

416
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:00,720
Speaker 4: That's why they ever figure it out. Like, is there

417
00:19:00,759 --> 00:19:04,759
any documentation of like Egyptians born with tales or like deformities?

418
00:19:05,319 --> 00:19:09,640
Speaker 2: King Tut, King Tut is very really Oh my god.

419
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:11,440
Speaker 4: I think I just knew he was kind of small.

420
00:19:11,519 --> 00:19:13,359
Speaker 2: He looks if you just google, like there's like a

421
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,759
three D recreation of what he would look like full body,

422
00:19:15,839 --> 00:19:18,680
and he's like a cane at like twenty he's like

423
00:19:18,759 --> 00:19:20,440
hip display. I mean, it's a nightmare.

424
00:19:22,039 --> 00:19:25,480
Speaker 4: Not good. So she marries her step half brother. Stepbrother

425
00:19:25,519 --> 00:19:26,400
would be totally fine.

426
00:19:26,559 --> 00:19:29,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, stepbrother's fine. They're head of the curve. Half brother

427
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:35,079
not so much. But she's twelve, he's fifteen. It gives

428
00:19:35,319 --> 00:19:37,799
his claim to the throne more legitimacy, and they keep

429
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,559
the power within the family.

430
00:19:39,319 --> 00:19:42,279
Speaker 2: Because wadging him less now because one yeah, one half

431
00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:45,119
can't claim the other hat like can't claim the throne

432
00:19:45,119 --> 00:19:45,720
if they're married.

433
00:19:45,839 --> 00:19:48,759
Speaker 4: It's a direct yeah, like both both LUSA and is

434
00:19:48,839 --> 00:19:49,920
tied up, which is.

435
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:51,440
Speaker 2: Why a lot of times they would do that.

436
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:56,640
Speaker 4: By the way, Yeah, it's just to like have a.

437
00:19:55,079 --> 00:19:57,759
Speaker 2: Peaceful transition of power and also to keep right.

438
00:19:57,960 --> 00:19:59,400
Speaker 1: And maybe they didn't bang that much. It was just

439
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:01,079
like I'll put a bait being you and that's it.

440
00:20:01,319 --> 00:20:04,599
Speaker 4: But the baby the other people, right.

441
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:07,480
Speaker 1: Well they do because he also has a second wife.

442
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,039
Speaker 4: Well, if everyone looks the same and you're banging someone

443
00:20:10,079 --> 00:20:14,160
that looks like your brother husband, take that load instead,

444
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:17,079
you know, do it for your children, because I would

445
00:20:17,079 --> 00:20:19,839
have a hard time loving a deformed king tut like

446
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:20,839
as his mom, I'd.

447
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,200
Speaker 2: Be like fuck, just like yeah, like the monster baby.

448
00:20:23,559 --> 00:20:26,000
Speaker 4: This baby's so annoying and gross.

449
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:29,160
Speaker 2: Won't stop crying because it has an extra.

450
00:20:29,119 --> 00:20:30,480
Speaker 4: Because its arm is in its back.

451
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:33,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, they had one kid together. It was a girl.

452
00:20:35,279 --> 00:20:37,759
He also had a son with his lesser wife.

453
00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:40,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, they his other sister. They had more than one

454
00:20:40,599 --> 00:20:41,559
wife back then.

455
00:20:41,599 --> 00:20:44,039
Speaker 1: I don't think so. It was thought most of the third,

456
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:48,839
so it would be her step kid. Technically this thought

457
00:20:48,839 --> 00:20:49,240
most of them.

458
00:20:49,279 --> 00:20:54,559
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think her what Mormons call it, you're right,

459
00:20:54,599 --> 00:20:55,759
their sister wives.

460
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,519
Speaker 4: Your sister wife kid, what would be I don't know.

461
00:20:57,759 --> 00:21:01,480
Speaker 2: Cousin child, cousin son, yeah, neft's.

462
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,319
Speaker 4: Son, neft son yeah, son few.

463
00:21:04,039 --> 00:21:05,519
Speaker 2: I like sonfew few.

464
00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:08,319
Speaker 1: I thought most of the second was never in good health.

465
00:21:08,759 --> 00:21:11,359
His skin was covered with lesions and he had an

466
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:15,599
enlarged heart. When number two kicks the bucket at thirty one,

467
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:19,839
long life for him. And since her step son wasn't

468
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,119
of age to take the throne, as he was only

469
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:24,920
three and he was ugly, had he took power as

470
00:21:25,039 --> 00:21:28,000
queen region in fourteen seventy nine DC Queen mother.

471
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:29,680
Speaker 2: Yes, she does dream job.

472
00:21:29,759 --> 00:21:30,599
Speaker 4: Guess I'll fill in.

473
00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,519
Speaker 2: Yeah, uh oh wait who her husband had an a

474
00:21:33,599 --> 00:21:36,319
large heart? Yeah, and he was I assumed the product

475
00:21:36,319 --> 00:21:37,200
of incest as well.

476
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:40,559
Speaker 1: He was a monster too, ye yah yeah, not like

477
00:21:40,599 --> 00:21:43,519
as a human, but like the way he looked. He's

478
00:21:43,599 --> 00:21:43,920
very girl.

479
00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:47,119
Speaker 2: You actually don't get maybe they didn't keep track of it,

480
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,759
but I feel like you don't get a lot of

481
00:21:50,839 --> 00:21:58,119
like insane stories, insane people's stories from ancient Egyptian monarchs

482
00:21:58,119 --> 00:22:00,480
the way you do from like Europe and stuff like that.

483
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:02,519
Speaker 4: Like maybe they killed them more and they just didn't

484
00:22:02,519 --> 00:22:04,880
want to talk about it. Yeah, seriously, they just went

485
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,920
down to the river bank to gather some reeds. Yeah,

486
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:09,440
just kind of took their time, that.

487
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:14,160
Speaker 1: Is true, Like every other monarch in France or England insane. Yeah,

488
00:22:14,279 --> 00:22:14,960
like bash and.

489
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,400
Speaker 2: You hear about it, like the madness of King George, right,

490
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:20,319
but like the egypt and like and they would do tyrannical,

491
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:24,079
like crazy tyrannical shit because they were crazy and people

492
00:22:24,079 --> 00:22:25,480
were just like, well it was the fucking kidding.

493
00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:28,880
Speaker 4: They brush over a lot of these child deaths you know,

494
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,279
they're not like this one from childbirth, this one from typhoid,

495
00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:34,359
this one from they're kind of like six of them died.

496
00:22:34,519 --> 00:22:37,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, but like the Egyptians, you never hear I mean

497
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:40,599
maybe just because things were so expected back then. It's like, oh, yeah,

498
00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:42,880
he killed five thousand people because he was pissed off,

499
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:45,480
and it's like, wow, it was it was nine hundred BC.

500
00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:48,680
Speaker 4: That's just and God told him to Yeah, he was just.

501
00:22:48,599 --> 00:22:50,839
Speaker 2: Doing nine hundred BC stuff. What do you want?

502
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:51,359
Speaker 4: Yeah.

503
00:22:51,799 --> 00:22:54,640
Speaker 1: As regent had he initially followed the traditional role of

504
00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:55,240
queen mother.

505
00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:57,680
Speaker 4: However, can't make too many ways.

506
00:22:57,839 --> 00:23:01,279
Speaker 1: She soon began to take on more authority, and after

507
00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:04,400
seven years she declared herself pharaoh.

508
00:23:04,519 --> 00:23:06,519
Speaker 4: Yes, that's a nice amount of time to wait, I

509
00:23:06,519 --> 00:23:07,920
think that's appropriate.

510
00:23:07,519 --> 00:23:10,240
Speaker 2: Can I? This might be a literal yass queen.

511
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:15,319
Speaker 1: She would co rule with young thutmost this third, but he.

512
00:23:15,319 --> 00:23:17,000
Speaker 4: Was like so ugly. It's like, you can't do this one.

513
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:17,680
Speaker 1: He's ten.

514
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:21,000
Speaker 2: Oh also that ugly ten year old. Look if you're old.

515
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:23,799
She was jerking off statues younger than he was.

516
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,319
Speaker 4: So she put in her she put in her hours.

517
00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:27,440
She served the throne.

518
00:23:29,759 --> 00:23:32,720
Speaker 1: Hattie's decision to become pharaoh, was unprecedent for women in

519
00:23:32,759 --> 00:23:36,880
ancient Egypt. To legitimize her rule, she adopted all the

520
00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:41,359
symbols of kingship, including the royal titles, the false beard,

521
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,680
and the traditional male clothes and more by pharaohs, so

522
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:46,359
she would kind of like dress for the role, you know,

523
00:23:46,839 --> 00:23:47,599
for the job you want.

524
00:23:47,839 --> 00:23:51,319
Speaker 4: Yeah, she was like in drag a little bit king drag.

525
00:23:52,279 --> 00:23:55,079
What was the false beard made out of? Was it

526
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:56,279
stone or something heavy?

527
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,519
Speaker 2: Probably reads, I don't know. I had to guess because.

528
00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:00,359
Speaker 4: How did it like or actually did it like loop

529
00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:01,920
on your ears and like kind of hang down?

530
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:04,519
Speaker 2: Yeah? Probably, I mean honestly, they're certainly not rocky.

531
00:24:04,519 --> 00:24:08,839
Speaker 4: Could get the gold like onyx or something or like

532
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:11,640
hollow gold like how but I'm wondering, like how they

533
00:24:12,559 --> 00:24:13,640
fix it on, Like is it.

534
00:24:13,519 --> 00:24:16,440
Speaker 2: Like like they also made wigs and stuff back then,

535
00:24:16,519 --> 00:24:18,119
so they could they could just be hair.

536
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:21,400
Speaker 4: I'm just yeah, yeah, that's true too, just gluing it

537
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:23,519
to your face, just get some honey.

538
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:27,960
Speaker 1: To further cement her authority, had he claimed a divine

539
00:24:28,039 --> 00:24:31,160
right to rule, she promoted a myth that the god

540
00:24:31,559 --> 00:24:35,039
a Monra had taken the form of her father, the

541
00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:40,839
night she was conceived, but not before so she's saying

542
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:42,359
that her mom banged God.

543
00:24:42,519 --> 00:24:45,640
Speaker 2: Yeah he he so like she was married to normal guy,

544
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,200
but the God showed.

545
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:51,559
Speaker 4: Up transforming God come God yes.

546
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:55,279
Speaker 2: And cooked unknowingly to everyone. Cooked that's bad?

547
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:57,039
Speaker 4: Is that where they got that? It's both for like

548
00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:00,640
God fucking Mary and like Joseph being the Holy Spirit.

549
00:25:00,759 --> 00:25:04,640
Speaker 2: The amount of stories where a god impregnates a normal

550
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:06,920
chicks and often a virgin.

551
00:25:06,799 --> 00:25:11,000
Speaker 1: In most cultures infinite. Yeah, with like pagans and stuff

552
00:25:11,079 --> 00:25:14,440
odin thor. I mean there's so many, so many stories

553
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:15,079
of oding.

554
00:25:14,839 --> 00:25:17,599
Speaker 4: Going any dream girl that's just like, oh, but she's

555
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:20,839
different than the girl's up here. I think she can

556
00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:21,720
handle this load.

557
00:25:22,039 --> 00:25:24,519
Speaker 2: She's fifteen and so sweet.

558
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,279
Speaker 4: So sweet, untouched, unexperienced.

559
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:32,799
Speaker 1: This divine narrative was depicted on the walls of her temple,

560
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,200
reinforcing her claim to the throne. Yeah.

561
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:37,559
Speaker 2: Once it's carved in stone, it's carved, and it's carved

562
00:25:37,559 --> 00:25:41,519
in stone, it's what do you want? And also like

563
00:25:41,559 --> 00:25:45,480
who cares? I wonder how many people like because the

564
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:51,200
Egyptians people, they're not having uprisings, right, so how many noble.

565
00:25:51,039 --> 00:25:52,480
Speaker 4: It's too hot to have an uprising.

566
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,559
Speaker 2: Yeah, like they got stuff to do, they got a farm.

567
00:25:55,759 --> 00:25:58,480
Like it's really would just be the noble class who

568
00:25:58,519 --> 00:26:00,839
who it's who would be like either yes or no? Right?

569
00:26:00,839 --> 00:26:03,480
Who would either be like or but if you just.

570
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:05,519
Speaker 4: Give them some more land or a few more slaves

571
00:26:05,599 --> 00:26:05,960
or whatever.

572
00:26:06,079 --> 00:26:08,039
Speaker 1: I think that's always the case in any monarch.

573
00:26:09,319 --> 00:26:12,079
Speaker 2: Yeah, but there's later like the people that are actually

574
00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:16,279
but in Rome, your population they don't care about the Royals, French,

575
00:26:16,599 --> 00:26:18,640
the French. But like in Rome too, like Rome care

576
00:26:18,759 --> 00:26:22,039
the clubs cared in Roman because they had they had

577
00:26:22,079 --> 00:26:25,319
a false sense of mattering. But I don't think there

578
00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:33,960
were any illusions with the Egyptian I mean, my my

579
00:26:34,079 --> 00:26:36,240
vote doesn't matter here in Texas. Like honestly, if either

580
00:26:36,279 --> 00:26:38,319
campaign came to me, like we'll pay you to vote

581
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:40,200
for us just because we want to cover the spread

582
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:43,119
in Texas, like we have money on covering up point

583
00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:45,880
spread doesn't matter, I'm like, yeah, right, I'll do it

584
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:47,079
because I know how it's going to turn out in

585
00:26:47,079 --> 00:26:51,480
the state. Yeah exactly. But the agent Egyptians, it feels

586
00:26:51,519 --> 00:26:54,119
like they had no illusions about like you know, like

587
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:56,880
they were like, yeah, we're never we don't like because

588
00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:59,960
the Romans there was a time where there are republic

589
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:02,519
and maybe you could move up a class and vote

590
00:27:02,559 --> 00:27:04,480
or matter or whatever. But like there was never a

591
00:27:04,519 --> 00:27:05,160
thing in Egypt.

592
00:27:05,839 --> 00:27:09,279
Speaker 4: Yeah. I think it's the heat. I think it's the heat.

593
00:27:09,279 --> 00:27:09,920
Speaker 2: It's oppressive.

594
00:27:10,039 --> 00:27:10,960
Speaker 4: It's a little too hot.

595
00:27:11,079 --> 00:27:13,079
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is literally oppressive heat.

596
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:17,200
Speaker 4: They're just like they don't need Yeah, mix up.

597
00:27:17,519 --> 00:27:20,079
Speaker 2: My third baby this year has been eaten by a

598
00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:24,480
fucking crocodile. I'm harvesting barley. I just don't have time

599
00:27:24,519 --> 00:27:25,359
to have a revolution.

600
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:27,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'd rather nap.

601
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:31,440
Speaker 1: How do you? Follow the example of her Eighteenth Dynasty

602
00:27:31,599 --> 00:27:35,799
predecessors and solidified her power with a short but successful

603
00:27:35,839 --> 00:27:40,000
military campaign to the south against the Kingdom of Cush. Yep,

604
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:41,200
I'll get.

605
00:27:41,079 --> 00:27:46,200
Speaker 2: That Cush, Doug, that sweet sweet Cush. Cush is the

606
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:50,960
source of whenever you hear about like black Pharaohs or

607
00:27:51,079 --> 00:27:54,599
black Egyptians and ancient history, it's the Cushites, the Cush.

608
00:27:54,519 --> 00:27:56,000
Speaker 4: That's to the south or to the north, which is

609
00:27:56,039 --> 00:27:58,000
the south. So it's like a little parade.

610
00:27:58,039 --> 00:28:01,960
Speaker 2: It's annoying because you go up the Nile to the south.

611
00:28:03,799 --> 00:28:06,279
Apparently because you're up the up would mean sorry, I'm sorry,

612
00:28:06,279 --> 00:28:08,359
I just like up would be against the flow.

613
00:28:08,839 --> 00:28:11,279
Speaker 4: Oh okay, up to me means north, but then that

614
00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:14,480
makes sense, right up down means with the flow. Up

615
00:28:14,559 --> 00:28:16,119
is against, so it flows.

616
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:17,759
Speaker 2: North, super confusing, it annoying.

617
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:19,480
Speaker 4: That is annoy good to know.

618
00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:21,079
Speaker 1: Apparently an easy dub, though.

619
00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:23,559
Speaker 4: Yeah.

620
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:27,640
Speaker 1: Decides it's best to pivot from force uh to use

621
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:30,799
in the military to help open trade, because as pharaoh

622
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:32,559
she has to command the army.

623
00:28:33,519 --> 00:28:35,400
Speaker 4: Well, you have to do something different, like what is

624
00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:37,599
your what is your rule going to be marked by?

625
00:28:37,759 --> 00:28:39,640
Like you have to have something that is like when

626
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:44,279
she's when you're dead, Like, oh she did this differently, Like.

627
00:28:44,599 --> 00:28:46,960
Speaker 2: It drives me crazy, whether it's no matter what it is,

628
00:28:47,039 --> 00:28:50,319
is like everyone wants to like make a mark. Just

629
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,920
can't you just leave the good the good thing on

630
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,240
cruise control and just be like, hey, I'm the guy.

631
00:28:55,559 --> 00:28:57,519
Speaker 4: But the problem is that the people who want to

632
00:28:57,559 --> 00:28:59,839
leave on cruise control are also the people that want

633
00:28:59,839 --> 00:29:02,000
to want to be rulers, and they're the people that

634
00:29:02,039 --> 00:29:05,359
should we should all just chill the fuck.

635
00:29:05,079 --> 00:29:08,440
Speaker 1: Out, sure it out. She goes increase control. Hell, yeah,

636
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:11,759
I love this bitch. Yeah, she decides, I obviously am

637
00:29:11,799 --> 00:29:14,160
not a military leader. I'm a woman. They don't really

638
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:16,319
listen to me. It was an easy dub and cush.

639
00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:19,119
But we have bigger enemies. I don't really want to

640
00:29:19,119 --> 00:29:21,839
fuck with it. What if we just use the army

641
00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:24,480
to negotiate peace and negotiate trade so we.

642
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:25,240
Speaker 4: Get some stuff.

643
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:28,160
Speaker 2: We flex our military might to get ship. Very American

644
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:28,519
of her to be.

645
00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:32,599
Speaker 4: Wo men have been stimulating economies for eons.

646
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:36,400
Speaker 1: Since fifteen probably before. Yeah, she famously launched a trading

647
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:38,720
expedition to the land of Punt.

648
00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:41,039
Speaker 2: We've talked about Punt on this show.

649
00:29:41,079 --> 00:29:41,680
Speaker 4: Where's Punt?

650
00:29:41,799 --> 00:29:45,519
Speaker 1: So it's the Red Sea coast, so Somalia.

651
00:29:47,119 --> 00:29:48,799
Speaker 4: So what do we have, like some fruits and some

652
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:49,720
like more arable?

653
00:29:50,039 --> 00:29:52,519
Speaker 2: She Egypt get a lot of their like monkeys and

654
00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:55,880
other like really, uh, they're luxury.

655
00:29:56,079 --> 00:29:57,839
Speaker 1: I will tell you what they brought back, all right.

656
00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:01,920
The Egyptians previous had not interacted with Punt for the

657
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:05,039
last five hundred years, so she opens back up trade

658
00:30:05,039 --> 00:30:07,720
with Punt and just communication with them altogether.

659
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:09,680
Speaker 2: Right. They brought back.

660
00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:15,880
Speaker 1: Gold, incense, ivory, mirror, exotic animals like apes, panthers, and drafts.

661
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:19,880
Imagine being an Egyptian back then trapping an ape.

662
00:30:20,519 --> 00:30:21,319
Speaker 4: Okay, come with me.

663
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:23,599
Speaker 1: Dude, Well, so be terrifying.

664
00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:27,759
Speaker 2: There was when the Phoenicians, I forget who, these.

665
00:30:27,599 --> 00:30:28,319
Speaker 1: Are small people.

666
00:30:28,359 --> 00:30:30,160
Speaker 2: I forget who. Yeah, I forget who paid them to

667
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:32,200
do that. And I'm sure I'm sure chimps and gorillas

668
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:34,920
were the same size, right, but human beings are.

669
00:30:34,839 --> 00:30:37,480
Speaker 4: Smaller and chimps chips are smaller.

670
00:30:37,519 --> 00:30:41,799
Speaker 2: No, no, but I'm saying in general, like how tall are you? Okay,

671
00:30:41,839 --> 00:30:44,000
so the average man back then, I think with like

672
00:30:44,039 --> 00:30:45,480
probably five five five six.

673
00:30:45,559 --> 00:30:45,799
Speaker 4: Yeah.

674
00:30:46,119 --> 00:30:48,839
Speaker 2: What I'm saying is a chimpanzees size has probably not

675
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:52,160
changed much in the last four thousand years, okay, but

676
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:55,720
a human being size has gotten bigger. Yeah, so a

677
00:30:55,799 --> 00:31:01,440
chimp is even more Whenever the Phoenicians did an expedition

678
00:31:01,599 --> 00:31:03,519
down like so, I forget who paid them to do it.

679
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:05,240
Might actually think it might have been a pharaoh, But

680
00:31:05,319 --> 00:31:08,440
this was six seven hundred years later, paid them to explore,

681
00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:11,119
go down all the way around Africa and backup through

682
00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:13,279
the Mediterranean, just to see what was going on. They

683
00:31:13,279 --> 00:31:17,240
wrote about everything they saw, and they saw chimps or gorillas,

684
00:31:17,359 --> 00:31:19,440
one of the two, and they thought it was just

685
00:31:19,559 --> 00:31:20,960
really hairy people.

686
00:31:21,079 --> 00:31:22,839
Speaker 4: People like Harry dummies.

687
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:25,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, like Harry cave Man type dudes. They were terrified.

688
00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:28,240
They're like, oh my god, and they're super strong. Yeah,

689
00:31:28,319 --> 00:31:29,640
so they were like, oh, what the fuck.

690
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:31,880
Speaker 4: They have thumbs? I mean, yeah, I can imagine that

691
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:32,519
would be scary.

692
00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:34,279
Speaker 2: I mean we talked about this on the show all

693
00:31:34,279 --> 00:31:36,799
the time. Can you like, can you imagine a giraffe

694
00:31:36,839 --> 00:31:40,119
just walking down the street in ancient Egypt, you would

695
00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:41,920
ship your pants from fear.

696
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:46,119
Speaker 4: Well, you'd be like, oh, that's how they made the pyramids.

697
00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:48,000
Speaker 1: Those you're trying a rope arounds neck and just walking

698
00:31:48,039 --> 00:31:48,759
it like, I don't know.

699
00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:51,519
Speaker 2: There was a there were people.

700
00:31:51,319 --> 00:31:53,359
Speaker 4: Who they were jewels. They did jewels.

701
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:55,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, like a jeweled collar.

702
00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:56,240
Speaker 4: I love jewels.

703
00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:59,880
Speaker 1: There was a nuts I being an ancient Egypt like

704
00:32:00,279 --> 00:32:01,519
animal trapper.

705
00:32:01,839 --> 00:32:04,440
Speaker 4: Makes no sense, the tiger king of Egypt.

706
00:32:05,839 --> 00:32:08,440
Speaker 1: You don't have drugs. You're not like tranking these animals.

707
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:10,400
Speaker 2: No, it's just twenty of you trying to toss a

708
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:13,240
net over it. Five people are getting their fucking arms

709
00:32:13,319 --> 00:32:13,799
ripped off.

710
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:16,839
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're taking muzzles like they're trying to figure out

711
00:32:16,839 --> 00:32:18,200
how to make ways to contain them.

712
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:21,599
Speaker 2: They've never had Oh yeah, like not everyone is coming back.

713
00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:24,559
Speaker 4: From the you have to kill one first and like

714
00:32:24,599 --> 00:32:26,680
get the measurements and kind of look at the like

715
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:29,720
kill one inspect and like, you know, the I.

716
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:31,519
Speaker 1: They bring back is not the first date they try

717
00:32:31,519 --> 00:32:33,559
to trap. Yeah, Also it's like the seventh.

718
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:35,640
Speaker 2: For what it's worth, the Egyptians aren't trapping them, right,

719
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:37,119
They're already trapped. They're getting them.

720
00:32:37,359 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 4: There is gifts.

721
00:32:38,079 --> 00:32:40,160
Speaker 3: There're gifts from the summer in the market. So the

722
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:44,240
punt the punt tights are going out pontificators either way,

723
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:49,119
though every time a group of punts go out, not

724
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:50,720
all of them come back from.

725
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:51,400
Speaker 2: The Ape expedition.

726
00:32:51,559 --> 00:32:57,319
Speaker 1: No, Punt's crazy because it's kind of still up to

727
00:32:57,359 --> 00:32:59,880
debate where it actually was. A lot of people think,

728
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:03,400
but there's, you know, evidence that it might not have

729
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:03,960
been there.

730
00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:06,680
Speaker 2: Some people I read because we did a literal whole

731
00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:08,160
episode on it a long time ago.

732
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:11,759
Speaker 1: So I'm actually think it was Jerusalem.

733
00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:15,400
Speaker 2: Jerusalem was already established and people knew what it was, right.

734
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:18,960
Speaker 1: But people when they're referring to Punt, they just think

735
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:19,759
it's like Judea.

736
00:33:20,359 --> 00:33:22,039
Speaker 4: People. All the people that refer.

737
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:23,799
Speaker 1: To Punt in their day to day we talk about

738
00:33:23,559 --> 00:33:27,680
Punt historians, I guess. Yeah, it's like a topic of discussion.

739
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:32,279
There's you know, mainstreams historians, what if it wasn't what

740
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:36,839
if what if punt wasn't punt it was.

741
00:33:36,759 --> 00:33:40,400
Speaker 2: Well if it was something else? Oh what? And I

742
00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:42,039
don't know, but people just want.

743
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:45,359
Speaker 4: A couple in a different directions existed before.

744
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:48,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, but what if it was before? But what if

745
00:33:48,759 --> 00:33:52,480
Churchill was actually Hitler? Dude?

746
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:54,799
Speaker 1: What time? And on our episode for Churchill? I know,

747
00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:57,160
I didn't even plan that. I had no idea who

748
00:33:57,200 --> 00:33:57,839
that guy was.

749
00:33:58,359 --> 00:33:59,400
Speaker 2: I still don't know his name.

750
00:33:59,519 --> 00:34:01,720
Speaker 1: No, I just he's the villain.

751
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:04,799
Speaker 2: You caught that right on the internet. There's like it

752
00:34:04,839 --> 00:34:06,359
went viral for a couple of days. There's some weird

753
00:34:06,359 --> 00:34:09,559
o historian on Tucker Carlson who's like, actually Churchill was

754
00:34:09,559 --> 00:34:10,719
the bad guy in World War two.

755
00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:12,599
Speaker 4: Oh yes, I did see that, which, by the.

756
00:34:12,599 --> 00:34:15,679
Speaker 2: Way, everyone even did not help us. No, I know,

757
00:34:16,559 --> 00:34:18,199
God forbid, God.

758
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:21,880
Speaker 1: Forbid we get a good break on this show working

759
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:22,639
Man's Blues.

760
00:34:23,119 --> 00:34:24,519
Speaker 4: Working Man's Blues.

761
00:34:24,679 --> 00:34:27,679
Speaker 2: We're just a blue collar podcast of the people.

762
00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:33,079
Speaker 1: That's why I'm getting back in the hockey and I'm

763
00:34:33,119 --> 00:34:33,920
grown the flow too.

764
00:34:34,559 --> 00:34:36,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, your nose could use a few more breaks. You've

765
00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:37,800
got that Roman nose.

766
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:40,880
Speaker 1: That's because I gotta fixed. I've I've broken my nose

767
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:42,719
like three times, four times or something like that.

768
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:45,039
Speaker 4: You deviated sebdom.

769
00:34:45,079 --> 00:34:46,239
Speaker 2: You've you've had a nose job.

770
00:34:46,639 --> 00:34:47,559
Speaker 1: I've had a nose shop.

771
00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:50,079
Speaker 2: Wow, look at you fun fact.

772
00:34:50,119 --> 00:34:50,960
Speaker 4: Wow you didn't know that.

773
00:34:51,079 --> 00:34:53,119
Speaker 1: And now I have a Now I have the nose

774
00:34:53,159 --> 00:34:53,719
of a caesar.

775
00:34:54,159 --> 00:34:56,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's very Roman nose. You've got a good nose.

776
00:34:57,119 --> 00:34:58,599
Speaker 2: We've both had plastic surgery.

777
00:34:58,679 --> 00:34:59,280
Speaker 4: What did you have?

778
00:35:00,599 --> 00:35:04,239
Speaker 2: Orbital reconstruction? My eye socket broken?

779
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:06,840
Speaker 1: He got punched in the face? Yeah?

780
00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:08,599
Speaker 4: Is it? The other One's this one?

781
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:09,559
Speaker 1: That one?

782
00:35:11,039 --> 00:35:12,480
Speaker 2: Do you feel my metal plates in my face?

783
00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:12,840
Speaker 1: Got it?

784
00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:14,239
Speaker 2: I have metal plates in my face.

785
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:15,039
Speaker 1: Was that New Orleans?

786
00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:16,840
Speaker 2: No, I was in high school.

787
00:35:17,079 --> 00:35:19,679
Speaker 1: That's right. My other I had another friend that got

788
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:20,480
punched in the face.

789
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:21,360
Speaker 4: In the world.

790
00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:26,599
Speaker 1: There's a lot of guys the a lot of guys

791
00:35:26,639 --> 00:35:27,920
that got their face rearranged.

792
00:35:29,039 --> 00:35:36,360
Speaker 4: It's all girls in their tents. Yeah, rearranged somewhere else.

793
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:40,079
Speaker 1: Okay, So the success of setting up animals with punt

794
00:35:40,519 --> 00:35:45,079
brought financial support. I'm just gonna sorry do the show.

795
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:49,639
Speaker 4: Okay, do you insist.

796
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:54,559
Speaker 1: So the expedition brought all the ship back and it

797
00:35:54,639 --> 00:35:57,159
set up straight with Punt brought financial support to fund

798
00:35:57,159 --> 00:35:59,440
her real passion of building dope ship.

799
00:36:00,639 --> 00:36:05,000
Speaker 2: She's a builder, infrastructure gal running a big architecture gal.

800
00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:09,360
Speaker 1: Okay. Hattie was a prolific builder. She commissioned over one

801
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:13,679
hundred different buildings and monuments under her reign, the most

802
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:16,039
notable being her mortuary temple.

803
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:20,639
Speaker 2: I mean that's everybody's doesn't everyone do that? Yeah, the

804
00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:24,599
Jazer Jazaru and she was. I think by her time,

805
00:36:24,679 --> 00:36:27,480
they weren't really doing pyramids anymore. Pramids have gone out of.

806
00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:29,320
Speaker 4: Fast A thousand years is like, yeah, they've kind of

807
00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:30,360
been around. It's old shit.

808
00:36:30,519 --> 00:36:32,199
Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot. There are a lot of like like

809
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:35,039
King tut has like an incredible temple situation or a

810
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:39,119
tomb situation, but it's not a pyramid. It's something she

811
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:40,519
was she buried in the Valley of the Kings.

812
00:36:41,639 --> 00:36:43,920
Speaker 1: No, she wasn't. She was.

813
00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:46,400
Speaker 2: That's what you said, was she buried in the Valley

814
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:46,719
of the Kings.

815
00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:48,079
Speaker 4: I thought you were going to do the podcast man,

816
00:36:48,599 --> 00:36:49,000
she was.

817
00:36:50,159 --> 00:36:51,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, everyone would just go to the valley and have

818
00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:52,440
like dope shit.

819
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:56,480
Speaker 1: Jazir Jazaru was like her big thing. It was telling

820
00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:58,800
the false narrative of her divine birth. So it's kind

821
00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:02,039
of a flex you building a tired, giant temple that

822
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:04,119
talks about you.

823
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:05,880
Speaker 4: It's all about branding.

824
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:11,400
Speaker 2: But also they were convinced that like after life was

825
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:14,440
it right. So they were like, oh, yeah, I'm here now,

826
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:17,079
but if I want to have like a dope a

827
00:37:18,159 --> 00:37:22,559
dope infinity, like a dope eternity, I need a sweet temple.

828
00:37:23,039 --> 00:37:25,360
So like most of their life was kind of dedicated

829
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:27,840
to getting that afterlife crib.

830
00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:30,800
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah.

831
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:33,519
Speaker 1: The temple was decorated with scenes of her divine birth

832
00:37:33,599 --> 00:37:36,400
upon expedition and other depictions celeburyed in her reign.

833
00:37:36,679 --> 00:37:40,719
Speaker 2: Wait did it? It's there of her dad being like

834
00:37:41,039 --> 00:37:43,719
I'm heading out for the day, and then like another

835
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:46,920
next hieroglyph was like amon Ra standing outside the door,

836
00:37:47,079 --> 00:37:49,280
but then common Rah. It's like a cartoon panel, then

837
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:53,760
Amonra transforming into her dad, then through the door banging

838
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:55,960
her mom, and then her dad.

839
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:57,679
Speaker 4: Come about next frame, giant cog.

840
00:37:57,920 --> 00:37:59,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, we'll get to this now because this

841
00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:02,599
is kind of onto what you're saying.

842
00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:06,920
Speaker 2: The cartoon panel correctly, you do not describe it correctly,

843
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:10,480
but there is a depiction of technically her as like

844
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:14,000
a little stick figure that's Egyptian graffiti.

845
00:38:14,079 --> 00:38:16,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, from Egyptian workers that I'll just get to now.

846
00:38:18,039 --> 00:38:18,840
Speaker 4: Was it like naughty?

847
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:21,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, all graffiti back then was naughty.

848
00:38:21,519 --> 00:38:23,599
Speaker 1: So many speculated that she had an affair with her

849
00:38:23,679 --> 00:38:34,119
chief Steward Senning in mut whatever. Archaeologists discovered that had

850
00:38:34,159 --> 00:38:37,000
he allowed this man to have his own name image

851
00:38:37,119 --> 00:38:42,760
painted into her temple. He was also apparently unmarried and uh,

852
00:38:43,559 --> 00:38:46,360
very odd state for a mature Egyptian man at that point,

853
00:38:47,079 --> 00:38:51,320
and he and Hattie actually were buried in matching sarcophosis.

854
00:38:52,239 --> 00:38:56,840
Speaker 2: Guy, Yeah, sarcophagus is sarcropha. Guy, Wait was he buried

855
00:38:56,840 --> 00:38:57,159
with her?

856
00:38:57,800 --> 00:38:58,199
Speaker 1: Yeah?

857
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:02,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're burging. But she can't marry some fucking guy.

858
00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:04,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, well she married her half brother.

859
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:06,639
Speaker 4: Right, Oh yes, she's a widow, Like I got that.

860
00:39:06,719 --> 00:39:08,519
Speaker 1: He was also a monster, So she's like, yea, I

861
00:39:08,519 --> 00:39:09,760
gotta get some solid Yeah.

862
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:12,079
Speaker 4: She's like, yeah, who would want to because if you

863
00:39:12,119 --> 00:39:13,880
get all these rights you never had as a woman

864
00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:16,639
that had never been married, why would you give all

865
00:39:16,679 --> 00:39:18,880
that up just to marry some other dude who's like

866
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:21,599
not as not of God come right.

867
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:25,920
Speaker 2: And also if you are, if you yourself are God, come,

868
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:28,119
you can just do whatever you want, whatever you want.

869
00:39:28,199 --> 00:39:31,599
Speaker 1: Yeah, the other clue comes from a piece of graffiti.

870
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:33,880
Speaker 2: No, the clue comes from they're fucking buried together.

871
00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:37,159
Speaker 4: They're matching pajamas. Man, what man has ever chosen to

872
00:39:37,199 --> 00:39:39,480
match with his woman of Like, No, it'll be really

873
00:39:39,559 --> 00:39:40,159
cute if we.

874
00:39:40,039 --> 00:39:42,360
Speaker 1: Wear the same shirt, Like, be really cool if we

875
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:46,360
get buried in the same thing, speaking babe, Like maybe.

876
00:39:46,639 --> 00:39:48,440
Speaker 4: When we go visit the Pyramids, we should wear the

877
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:50,239
exact same thing. But you wear it in a dress

878
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:52,519
and all wear it in a shirt. It's like everyone

879
00:39:52,519 --> 00:39:53,119
at Disney.

880
00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:59,519
Speaker 1: Wrong, I think. Uh. The creepiest Disney tail that I

881
00:39:59,559 --> 00:40:04,400
found out was how Hunchback actually ends, Like in the

882
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:06,760
real story, the real fairy tale or whatever, you.

883
00:40:06,679 --> 00:40:08,320
Speaker 4: Like, jump off a bridge or get pushed off a

884
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:08,960
bridge or something.

885
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:12,239
Speaker 1: Well, she gets hanged, right, she dies the gypsy. The

886
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:16,000
gypsy after turning like turning on him, I guess he

887
00:40:16,039 --> 00:40:19,199
doesn't know, but she turns on him. She still gets killed,

888
00:40:19,519 --> 00:40:25,960
and then he cuddles her dead corpse and starves himself

889
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:31,000
to death so that love they die together. Well, she's

890
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:34,880
already dead, but he dies of starvation just holding her

891
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:37,320
dead corpse and cuddling her for eternity.

892
00:40:37,679 --> 00:40:42,000
Speaker 2: I just feel like it's you could do that, like

893
00:40:42,159 --> 00:40:46,000
hold the dead corpse, but be like and now, hey

894
00:40:47,039 --> 00:40:48,840
you my friend stab me in the neck.

895
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:51,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like, the intention can still be there, but you

896
00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:53,599
don't have to wait a month to die.

897
00:40:56,519 --> 00:40:57,840
Speaker 1: The hunchback doesn't have any friends.

898
00:40:58,000 --> 00:40:59,719
Speaker 4: What are you doing pissing your pants as you're laying

899
00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:01,400
down holding your dead girlfriend.

900
00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:03,039
Speaker 1: You're pissing all over her dead body?

901
00:41:03,199 --> 00:41:07,320
Speaker 2: Could you three four or five days it takes to

902
00:41:08,199 --> 00:41:08,880
die of thirst?

903
00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:13,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, and she didn't sign up for that. She didn't

904
00:41:13,679 --> 00:41:14,880
even like, yeah.

905
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:16,679
Speaker 4: A bit.

906
00:41:17,199 --> 00:41:19,280
Speaker 2: I'm gonna tell something that was once told to me.

907
00:41:20,039 --> 00:41:22,239
A dead body cannot consent, mm hmm.

908
00:41:24,199 --> 00:41:28,760
Speaker 4: But it can't say no either, cannot consent.

909
00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:32,199
Speaker 2: Potato, So who's to say.

910
00:41:32,599 --> 00:41:37,320
Speaker 4: The dead body? Is there anyone around? See you fucking something?

911
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:37,840
I don't know.

912
00:41:39,079 --> 00:41:41,280
Speaker 1: So back to the graffiti, though, it was by this

913
00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:45,000
work site, by her temple, So this really is this

914
00:41:45,079 --> 00:41:45,719
really confirmed?

915
00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:46,400
Speaker 4: The breakroom?

916
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:49,159
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, it's it's a it's a bathroom stall.

917
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:53,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a unfinished tomb that workers used as a

918
00:41:53,239 --> 00:41:56,320
house door in construction. On one of its walls is

919
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:58,800
like stick figures and they're gonna insert it right here

920
00:41:59,199 --> 00:42:02,800
forty four minutes. Sorry. On one of its walls is

921
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:04,920
an image of a man fucking a pharaoh.

922
00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:10,519
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean there is ancient graffiti for basically across cultures.

923
00:42:10,599 --> 00:42:14,840
It's just like Twitter. Yeah, like like truly, we did

924
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:17,480
a whole episode on Pompeii's graffiti because like it's like,

925
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:20,880
literally the whole city is perfectly preserved, right, and they've

926
00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:23,679
excavated it and everything. All the graffiti, like literally on

927
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:26,280
the side of a brothel is reviews of the brothel

928
00:42:26,639 --> 00:42:28,840
on the display songs.

929
00:42:28,599 --> 00:42:32,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, or like dude fucking lives the best doll.

930
00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:38,079
Speaker 2: I mean, it's it's crazy. How uh ancient graffiti opera

931
00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:40,480
not even ancient, probably up to the Middle Ages, graffiti

932
00:42:40,519 --> 00:42:43,880
operated as a functional Yeah, it really was. It's it's

933
00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:45,880
one of the most fascinating things.

934
00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:48,239
Speaker 4: But this doesn't seem so functional. This seems a little bit.

935
00:42:48,719 --> 00:42:51,199
Speaker 2: Just let Sam, He's like, it's like the stickers.

936
00:42:50,760 --> 00:42:53,199
Speaker 4: You guys have in your bathroom of like dudes looking

937
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:55,719
like the thing in the urinal It's I did that

938
00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:58,519
they all have in the bathroom. It's just graffiti. It's

939
00:42:58,519 --> 00:42:59,719
just a little fun pictures.

940
00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:03,320
Speaker 2: Guys letting a steam too. It's like, dude, this job sucks. Ass.

941
00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:07,880
I hate the space selling stone for and now I

942
00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:10,440
got a chisel out. She comes today, she comes fucking

943
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:12,880
today to work, tells me we got to chisel out

944
00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:15,920
a whole extra spot for this fucking random guy. She's

945
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:17,800
fucking she's getting bigged with them, and she's actually she's

946
00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:18,760
not banging them.

947
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:22,559
Speaker 4: She's doing is giving us a pizza party at the

948
00:43:22,639 --> 00:43:23,159
end of the month.

949
00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:27,960
Speaker 2: So that was a real thing. We did an episode

950
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:28,360
of this too.

951
00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:31,880
Speaker 4: In ancient Egypt, they were building, they're motivating the slaves.

952
00:43:32,079 --> 00:43:34,440
Speaker 2: These they weren't slaves, they were they were workers, but

953
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:37,760
they were They were on strike and they were angry

954
00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:41,000
about their pay, and the pharaoh, i believe, offered them

955
00:43:41,039 --> 00:43:42,960
like some extra bread and beer, Like.

956
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:46,159
Speaker 4: What are you gonna buy with that money? Food? Now

957
00:43:46,199 --> 00:43:46,840
we have food.

958
00:43:47,239 --> 00:43:51,320
Speaker 1: Don't have to buy lunch today, kid. They goes back

959
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:52,119
to ancient Egypt.

960
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:53,960
Speaker 4: She don't change.

961
00:43:54,559 --> 00:43:55,639
Speaker 2: Shit, don't change.

962
00:43:55,719 --> 00:43:59,000
Speaker 1: So Hattie ruled as the senior pharaoh for twenty years.

963
00:43:59,519 --> 00:44:02,039
Her steps son thought most of the third was officially

964
00:44:02,079 --> 00:44:04,559
co ruler for most of her rain. I thought most

965
00:44:04,559 --> 00:44:08,000
the third remained in the background, receiving military training, preparing

966
00:44:08,079 --> 00:44:09,239
for his eventual role.

967
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:11,280
Speaker 4: I bet he preferred it that way too.

968
00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:14,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, because there's like little evidence of animosity between the two.

969
00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:16,199
There was never like a power struggle.

970
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:18,039
Speaker 4: You know, she probably looked out for him and like

971
00:44:18,119 --> 00:44:19,800
made sure that he was like set up and like

972
00:44:20,559 --> 00:44:23,760
well trained, and like then he can kind of gallivant

973
00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:25,480
and like get so his wild oats.

974
00:44:25,599 --> 00:44:28,079
Speaker 2: You want to you want your quarterback to city or two.

975
00:44:28,119 --> 00:44:32,320
You know, learn the system. Yeah, you get thrown into

976
00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:34,159
the fire. You're gonna ruin somebody's career throwing him in

977
00:44:34,159 --> 00:44:37,000
there no offensive lote it is, Yeah.

978
00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:38,480
Speaker 4: Gotta build up your your strength.

979
00:44:38,559 --> 00:44:40,920
Speaker 2: I get it. I get it. Also, did she bang

980
00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:44,440
her son nor.

981
00:44:43,480 --> 00:44:45,280
Speaker 4: Her step son, so it doesn't I think it's fine.

982
00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:45,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sure.

983
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:47,039
Speaker 2: Oh if it's step son.

984
00:44:47,119 --> 00:44:49,960
Speaker 4: It's totally fine. But I feel like she didn't even

985
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:51,480
want to because she had her side piece that she

986
00:44:51,599 --> 00:44:53,599
like she had loved and enjoyed.

987
00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:58,199
Speaker 1: Her step son. But also wait, so it was her

988
00:44:58,239 --> 00:44:59,360
half brother's son.

989
00:45:00,039 --> 00:45:01,480
Speaker 2: That is not her step son.

990
00:45:01,599 --> 00:45:07,039
Speaker 4: It's her steph ye nephew, nephew son.

991
00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:08,800
Speaker 2: That would be her instead would be her nephew.

992
00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:14,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you would have half nephew the half half

993
00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:16,519
nephew prince.

994
00:45:17,559 --> 00:45:18,880
Speaker 4: It's not entirely detached.

995
00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:21,360
Speaker 2: You would be sharing a little less genetics.

996
00:45:21,519 --> 00:45:22,119
Speaker 4: Like a quarter.

997
00:45:22,719 --> 00:45:23,199
Speaker 2: Yeah.

998
00:45:23,239 --> 00:45:25,159
Speaker 1: Well they don't bang, so that's good.

999
00:45:25,639 --> 00:45:27,639
Speaker 2: Real quick, we do have some ads before we keep going.

1000
00:45:27,679 --> 00:45:30,440
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Speaker 1: Although other women had ruled Egypt before her, Hattie was

1057
00:48:25,239 --> 00:48:28,239
the first to take full powers of being a pharaoh,

1058
00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:31,239
including wearing the royal beard using the male title. She

1059
00:48:31,360 --> 00:48:34,639
ruled for twenty years, and that's longer than any other

1060
00:48:34,679 --> 00:48:36,400
female ruler in Egypt's history.

1061
00:48:36,199 --> 00:48:38,440
Speaker 4: Even Cleopatra. Yeah, good for her.

1062
00:48:38,519 --> 00:48:42,199
Speaker 1: She's actually regarded as a pretty good pharaoh. She did.

1063
00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:44,000
Speaker 4: She was pretty unproblematic.

1064
00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:48,559
Speaker 2: Had one little war just to you know, set the tone.

1065
00:48:48,719 --> 00:48:51,199
Speaker 1: You had to, just to get a litle respect from

1066
00:48:51,239 --> 00:48:53,159
the boys, you know. Yeah, like I'm not a bit

1067
00:48:53,239 --> 00:48:53,840
to be fucked with.

1068
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:55,199
Speaker 4: Yeah, I can, I can buy it.

1069
00:48:55,239 --> 00:48:56,480
Speaker 2: I can go smack around.

1070
00:48:56,519 --> 00:48:58,119
Speaker 1: The rest of her reign was very peaceful.

1071
00:48:58,840 --> 00:49:01,599
Speaker 2: I mean eventually, yeah, everything's going find nobody wants to

1072
00:49:01,679 --> 00:49:02,199
rock the boat.

1073
00:49:02,280 --> 00:49:05,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, like new businesses are coming into town, like gentrification.

1074
00:49:05,519 --> 00:49:06,360
But it works for you.

1075
00:49:06,559 --> 00:49:08,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't want to.

1076
00:49:08,679 --> 00:49:10,079
Speaker 4: Change a wrap on your commute.

1077
00:49:10,639 --> 00:49:12,760
Speaker 2: Everybody's making money and you're getting drafts and shit.

1078
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:15,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, but all good things must come to an end.

1079
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:18,960
And Hattie died in fourteen fifty eight BC at the

1080
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:22,360
age of fifty. Oh yeah, kind of a cell phone though,

1081
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:28,400
Oh no, she accidentally poisoned herself with beauty ointments.

1082
00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:31,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, so tails time.

1083
00:49:31,559 --> 00:49:34,199
Speaker 1: She poisoned herself with beauty ointments.

1084
00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:35,360
Speaker 2: Christina, listen up.

1085
00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:38,079
Speaker 4: You can't go too far. You know. It's like she's

1086
00:49:38,159 --> 00:49:41,079
cha chasing her youth. You got to lean into aging.

1087
00:49:42,960 --> 00:49:46,320
Speaker 1: It's full of carcinogens. So a CT scan of her

1088
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:49,960
mommy actually shows she's riddled with bone cancer.

1089
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:54,079
Speaker 4: Oh no, she's just like frail, like with Swiss cheese bones.

1090
00:49:54,119 --> 00:49:56,920
Speaker 2: What were they using for fucking beauty stuff? It wasn't

1091
00:49:56,960 --> 00:49:57,880
like lead, was it.

1092
00:49:58,559 --> 00:49:59,599
Speaker 1: I bet there was some lead in it?

1093
00:49:59,679 --> 00:50:03,599
Speaker 2: Yeah, well what what? What wasn't let in? I don't know.

1094
00:50:03,679 --> 00:50:06,239
Man ancient up until the eighties, I guess.

1095
00:50:06,360 --> 00:50:08,400
Speaker 1: But she was all about, you know, just a little

1096
00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:11,599
little touch up. She's all about getting dolled up.

1097
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:13,639
Speaker 4: I just watched Death Becomes Her for the first time

1098
00:50:13,639 --> 00:50:15,519
this week, and it's that's basically the plot.

1099
00:50:15,719 --> 00:50:18,719
Speaker 1: A lot of people actually credit her for the invention

1100
00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:19,360
of eyeliner.

1101
00:50:20,119 --> 00:50:23,559
Speaker 2: Really, what there were pharaohs before her that were doing

1102
00:50:23,599 --> 00:50:27,559
the No, she's the first one, really, that's what I read?

1103
00:50:27,719 --> 00:50:29,159
All right, Wow, look at her.

1104
00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:34,639
Speaker 1: She set the tone she would take I guess, frankincense.

1105
00:50:34,920 --> 00:50:37,840
The she would like crush up the frankencense and just

1106
00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:38,880
yeah put around her.

1107
00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:42,559
Speaker 2: Eyes, look at her. Good for her, But what was

1108
00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:47,119
in the ship that gave her just like a double bone,

1109
00:50:47,159 --> 00:50:50,119
like just tumors all over her both because bone cancer.

1110
00:50:50,119 --> 00:50:51,639
If you look at a skeleton that has like bad

1111
00:50:51,679 --> 00:50:54,840
bone cancer, it's a gnarly Oh it's gross.

1112
00:50:54,920 --> 00:50:58,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, it seems she also suffered from arthritis and diabetes

1113
00:50:58,960 --> 00:51:03,679
in our later years. She was in bred diabetes. Yeah,

1114
00:51:03,840 --> 00:51:07,280
I think type two as well. How the fuck she

1115
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:08,119
get diabetes?

1116
00:51:08,119 --> 00:51:11,480
Speaker 4: I'm like, what do they have that is like excessive?

1117
00:51:11,519 --> 00:51:13,400
I guess like animal fats, like too many fats.

1118
00:51:13,440 --> 00:51:17,119
Speaker 1: So she was about five card feet Yeah, even it

1119
00:51:17,199 --> 00:51:19,159
said she got kind of fat at the end there.

1120
00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:23,880
Speaker 4: Well, you know when she hit menopause, your your metabolism

1121
00:51:23,960 --> 00:51:24,440
closed down.

1122
00:51:24,519 --> 00:51:27,840
Speaker 2: I guess it. Alcohol maybe would maybe do it if

1123
00:51:27,880 --> 00:51:29,480
she was drinking a shit ton.

1124
00:51:30,360 --> 00:51:32,519
Speaker 4: Probably not a ton of water either. She's probably like

1125
00:51:32,599 --> 00:51:35,000
holding onto those toxins. They're not hydrated.

1126
00:51:35,320 --> 00:51:39,840
Speaker 1: Yeah. After her death, her steps on thought most of

1127
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:43,800
the third cor no. Uh. Weirdly, even though there was

1128
00:51:43,840 --> 00:51:47,079
no animosity, attempted to erase her legacy.

1129
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:52,039
Speaker 4: What yeah, that's so small, dick energy that's so insecure.

1130
00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:54,719
Speaker 2: I knew there were other nobles, other people in the

1131
00:51:54,719 --> 00:51:56,599
court that were just like kind of like biting their

1132
00:51:56,639 --> 00:51:59,159
lip on being annoyed that a chick was. That was

1133
00:51:59,199 --> 00:52:01,559
the whole thing, and they were just so once he

1134
00:52:01,639 --> 00:52:03,000
gets empowered, like look this.

1135
00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:05,960
Speaker 1: We can't let history show that a woman did well.

1136
00:52:06,079 --> 00:52:07,239
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, this.

1137
00:52:07,199 --> 00:52:08,079
Speaker 2: Is gonna look bad on you.

1138
00:52:08,199 --> 00:52:10,000
Speaker 4: So was he just like erasing it and putting his

1139
00:52:10,119 --> 00:52:12,159
name or was he like kind of knocking it down

1140
00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:12,639
so they.

1141
00:52:12,559 --> 00:52:15,159
Speaker 1: Would knock down some of her statues, they would deface it.

1142
00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:17,280
Her name was removed from all inscriptions.

1143
00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:19,639
Speaker 2: Get chiseled, she gets chiseled off. Yeah.

1144
00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:21,599
Speaker 4: I bet when he died she was waiting for him,

1145
00:52:21,639 --> 00:52:24,559
like what the fuck your fuck? What I just I've

1146
00:52:24,559 --> 00:52:27,800
told everyone here about how much you fucking suck.

1147
00:52:29,280 --> 00:52:30,039
Speaker 2: Fucking duke.

1148
00:52:31,280 --> 00:52:36,000
Speaker 1: Her mummy wasn't identified for centuries. Uh, it was lost

1149
00:52:36,039 --> 00:52:38,320
to history because of the efforts to erase her from

1150
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:41,480
the records. It wasn't until actually two thousand and seven

1151
00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:45,079
that her mummy was positively identified using a DNA test

1152
00:52:45,280 --> 00:52:46,960
and tooth fragment.

1153
00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:49,039
Speaker 2: So they knew who she was. She can know who

1154
00:52:49,039 --> 00:52:50,679
the They knew who the person was but they didn't

1155
00:52:50,679 --> 00:52:51,519
know who the mummy was.

1156
00:52:51,639 --> 00:52:54,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, so once they got her, they did the

1157
00:52:54,239 --> 00:52:55,440
CT scans.

1158
00:52:55,679 --> 00:52:57,440
Speaker 6: But how did they did They go into her tomb

1159
00:52:57,480 --> 00:53:01,559
and chisel shit off like in the time I'm saying,

1160
00:53:01,719 --> 00:53:04,400
I know. Yeah, yeah, so like they even went into

1161
00:53:04,440 --> 00:53:06,199
her tomb and fucked up her tomb after.

1162
00:53:06,239 --> 00:53:07,559
Speaker 1: Yeah, they kind of made her anonymous.

1163
00:53:07,599 --> 00:53:07,840
Speaker 2: Wow.

1164
00:53:07,960 --> 00:53:10,840
Speaker 4: Well all the grave robbers and like tomb robbers.

1165
00:53:10,559 --> 00:53:11,079
Speaker 2: Oh my god.

1166
00:53:11,159 --> 00:53:12,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, kee that shit too.

1167
00:53:12,840 --> 00:53:15,719
Speaker 2: One reason that King Tut's tombe was so well preserved

1168
00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:19,079
is that it was like people just forgot it was there.

1169
00:53:19,239 --> 00:53:21,840
Like it was like grave robbers didn't get to hit it.

1170
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:25,320
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1171
00:53:25,360 --> 00:53:29,000
Speaker 1: Despite their efforts to erask her from history, Hattie's legacy

1172
00:53:29,039 --> 00:53:32,480
indoors today. She is remembered as one of Egypt's most

1173
00:53:32,519 --> 00:53:36,280
successful and innovative rulers. Her reign was marked by peace, prosperity,

1174
00:53:36,760 --> 00:53:40,519
and architectural achievement that have stood this as the time.

1175
00:53:41,400 --> 00:53:43,679
An interesting theory, like I said earlier, was that Punt

1176
00:53:43,679 --> 00:53:46,280
was not a region to the south of Egypt, but

1177
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:48,519
was actually the region of Judea.

1178
00:53:49,400 --> 00:53:51,360
Speaker 2: I don't I don't know how they're getting drafts from.

1179
00:53:51,320 --> 00:53:55,480
Speaker 1: Judea, and that Hattie is in fact the legendary biblical

1180
00:53:55,559 --> 00:54:01,119
queen Sheba. Yeah who met with Solomon. I mean you

1181
00:54:01,159 --> 00:54:03,519
don't want to get down with that, Okay.

1182
00:54:03,159 --> 00:54:06,599
Speaker 2: Well, King Solomon is after Moses.

1183
00:54:06,719 --> 00:54:11,639
Speaker 1: I think, well it would it would involve a change

1184
00:54:11,639 --> 00:54:12,719
in time, right, which is.

1185
00:54:12,639 --> 00:54:17,719
Speaker 2: Why it's but king Solomon is way after Moses is

1186
00:54:19,159 --> 00:54:21,960
uh three four hundred years after Moses.

1187
00:54:23,840 --> 00:54:27,079
Speaker 4: Theory discredited.

1188
00:54:27,480 --> 00:54:33,280
Speaker 1: Ba ba bah But uh yeah, that's the story story

1189
00:54:33,440 --> 00:54:40,440
of hat Ship. Kind of a bad bitch, kind of

1190
00:54:40,480 --> 00:54:41,079
a good ruler.

1191
00:54:41,280 --> 00:54:45,199
Speaker 2: I so not enough got around.

1192
00:54:45,280 --> 00:54:47,239
Speaker 1: She was getting some side dick other than the guy

1193
00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:48,119
she got buried with too.

1194
00:54:48,440 --> 00:54:50,719
Speaker 4: She wasn't getting around that much. She seemed like an

1195
00:54:50,719 --> 00:54:51,519
honest girl.

1196
00:54:52,199 --> 00:54:54,119
Speaker 1: Side dick getting some other side dick.

1197
00:54:54,880 --> 00:54:56,159
Speaker 4: Like you didn't mention those.

1198
00:54:56,280 --> 00:54:58,599
Speaker 1: It wasn't like it was just kind of in passing,

1199
00:54:58,840 --> 00:55:01,800
is what they metch they named anybody else out of town.

1200
00:55:02,039 --> 00:55:05,199
They were just kind of like, yeah, she she did.

1201
00:55:05,559 --> 00:55:06,599
Speaker 4: Did you have whatever she wants?

1202
00:55:06,599 --> 00:55:09,760
Speaker 2: Because she was a pharaoh. Yeah, yeah, like a dude

1203
00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:13,960
pharaoh or most we talked about with like romans and

1204
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:16,440
stuff like that, like you just fuck your like guys

1205
00:55:16,440 --> 00:55:18,519
would like fuck their slaves, right, Like that was like

1206
00:55:18,559 --> 00:55:21,320
part of it should just rape your slave basically. So

1207
00:55:21,480 --> 00:55:24,719
I'm sure she was walking around the palace she'd be

1208
00:55:24,760 --> 00:55:29,199
like you, yeah, like, hey, I am moist, you come

1209
00:55:29,280 --> 00:55:31,159
do stuff to me. I like this guy, Yeah, I

1210
00:55:31,280 --> 00:55:32,199
like the cut of your.

1211
00:55:32,360 --> 00:55:35,039
Speaker 4: Wiener, cut of your lords.

1212
00:55:35,639 --> 00:55:36,760
Speaker 2: Come come give it to me.

1213
00:55:36,800 --> 00:55:38,760
Speaker 1: And you gotta think those beauty omans are get into

1214
00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:39,159
her brain.

1215
00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:43,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, her decision making was impacted. Probably. Do you think

1216
00:55:43,920 --> 00:55:45,519
she was going after young guys like she was like

1217
00:55:45,559 --> 00:55:47,039
a cougar Egyptian kug.

1218
00:55:46,960 --> 00:55:52,159
Speaker 2: Yes, yea hard yes, like truly every jacked twenty year

1219
00:55:52,199 --> 00:55:56,000
old who's coming home from lifting stone. She's just like

1220
00:55:56,079 --> 00:55:56,760
get that one.

1221
00:55:56,920 --> 00:56:00,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's getting nice and fat, just.

1222
00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:02,639
Speaker 4: Like go down me for three hours, trying to make

1223
00:56:02,719 --> 00:56:04,199
up for a lot for all the time she spent

1224
00:56:04,519 --> 00:56:05,639
jerking off that statue.

1225
00:56:05,719 --> 00:56:09,679
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's paying it forward. She had, she's you.

1226
00:56:09,679 --> 00:56:12,280
Speaker 4: Know, she's now she gets to sit on the other side.

1227
00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:16,519
Speaker 2: Yeah she is. She's just sitting there. She's certainly starfishing. Yea.

1228
00:56:16,719 --> 00:56:19,440
Speaker 1: She should have made her own statue where somebody every

1229
00:56:19,519 --> 00:56:23,599
day had to diddle her. Oh my god, in order

1230
00:56:23,840 --> 00:56:26,119
for the world to continue.

1231
00:56:26,320 --> 00:56:30,440
Speaker 2: Now does she does that statue? Squirt is it that

1232
00:56:30,480 --> 00:56:31,239
sort of situation.

1233
00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:33,480
Speaker 1: I think we make it as squirting statue.

1234
00:56:33,519 --> 00:56:34,840
Speaker 4: You think it's like you have to do it a

1235
00:56:34,880 --> 00:56:36,159
different way every single time.

1236
00:56:36,320 --> 00:56:36,719
Speaker 1: Statue.

1237
00:56:36,760 --> 00:56:39,039
Speaker 4: You think what worked yesterday wouldn't work today. And it's

1238
00:56:39,079 --> 00:56:41,239
like a lot harder to please than the male statue.

1239
00:56:41,320 --> 00:56:42,480
Speaker 1: Oh, it's incredibly hard.

1240
00:56:42,519 --> 00:56:44,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, you have to like do a lot more.

1241
00:56:44,440 --> 00:56:47,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, all you're doing, you're doing what she liked last time,

1242
00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:48,840
and she's like, don't do that. I don't like it.

1243
00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:49,840
Speaker 4: Does I don't like that today?

1244
00:56:49,920 --> 00:56:50,760
Speaker 2: And it's like, wait, what do.

1245
00:56:50,719 --> 00:56:53,360
Speaker 4: You love this yesterday?

1246
00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:56,800
Speaker 2: Like the last two times, she's like, no, do it

1247
00:56:56,840 --> 00:56:58,800
another way, do it the right way, Like what is

1248
00:56:58,840 --> 00:56:59,960
the right I don't know what the right way is.

1249
00:57:00,440 --> 00:57:01,079
Speaker 4: Do something else.

1250
00:57:01,440 --> 00:57:02,239
Speaker 2: Just jerk me off.

1251
00:57:02,360 --> 00:57:03,119
Speaker 1: This is all I got.

1252
00:57:03,559 --> 00:57:04,599
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is the only thing I know.

1253
00:57:04,639 --> 00:57:08,960
Speaker 1: It's my move. God, you'd be there all day, damn

1254
00:57:10,079 --> 00:57:11,599
lunch in box for your queen.

1255
00:57:13,199 --> 00:57:16,920
Speaker 2: Now, that would be I feel like that's a nightmare

1256
00:57:16,920 --> 00:57:17,440
in history.

1257
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:21,760
Speaker 1: Going down on girl. Yeah, well going down the guy too.

1258
00:57:21,960 --> 00:57:22,559
Speaker 2: I think anything.

1259
00:57:23,039 --> 00:57:24,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it's all It was all hand.

1260
00:57:24,599 --> 00:57:26,960
Speaker 2: I understand the jury. Dick, there's just an advantage to

1261
00:57:27,079 --> 00:57:31,079
suck a dick versus.

1262
00:57:30,119 --> 00:57:31,400
Speaker 4: I mean you can get something out of it.

1263
00:57:31,480 --> 00:57:33,159
Speaker 2: Do you have a kind of a reference for that,

1264
00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:36,599
my dick, which is that it's it juts out that

1265
00:57:36,679 --> 00:57:38,880
it gets it's away from the filthy body a little bit.

1266
00:57:39,039 --> 00:57:40,719
Speaker 4: It's not as it's not a biome.

1267
00:57:40,880 --> 00:57:42,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're not getting into you don't have to. You

1268
00:57:42,719 --> 00:57:43,880
don't have to get into it.

1269
00:57:44,079 --> 00:57:46,000
Speaker 4: You're not you're not moving things around.

1270
00:57:46,039 --> 00:57:47,599
Speaker 1: How far away from the body. You got a hammer,

1271
00:57:48,280 --> 00:57:50,400
don't worry about what shot? What are you working with?

1272
00:57:50,519 --> 00:57:51,800
Speaker 2: Further away from the body than.

1273
00:57:51,679 --> 00:57:55,039
Speaker 4: A clip, you guys shows, So it's.

1274
00:57:54,880 --> 00:57:56,880
Speaker 1: Bigger than a microan than a micropean.

1275
00:57:57,480 --> 00:57:59,960
Speaker 4: Subscribe to the patriarch for the dick measure.

1276
00:58:00,920 --> 00:58:03,360
Speaker 1: Once we get desperate enough hogs out.

1277
00:58:03,599 --> 00:58:07,199
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're moving to only fans. We won't touch each

1278
00:58:07,199 --> 00:58:08,480
other's hogs, but we'll sit.

1279
00:58:08,320 --> 00:58:11,000
Speaker 1: Here to hogs exposed. What's the number, I guess, like

1280
00:58:11,039 --> 00:58:12,079
another six hundred people.

1281
00:58:13,199 --> 00:58:17,199
Speaker 2: Yeah, if we can get if we can quadruple our subscribers.

1282
00:58:18,559 --> 00:58:21,679
Speaker 4: If we can make way more money than way less money.

1283
00:58:22,440 --> 00:58:25,039
Speaker 2: Because you know what, my family will never know.

1284
00:58:26,159 --> 00:58:27,599
Speaker 1: Yeah, just your father.

1285
00:58:27,440 --> 00:58:29,559
Speaker 2: In law, he won't. He'll subscribe to it and be like,

1286
00:58:29,599 --> 00:58:30,880
I'm just here to support you.

1287
00:58:30,840 --> 00:58:31,400
Speaker 4: You won't watch.

1288
00:58:31,960 --> 00:58:34,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, he doesn't. He doesn't watch our Patreon. I don't.

1289
00:58:34,880 --> 00:58:38,400
Speaker 1: I hope that you know of He certainly does hold

1290
00:58:38,519 --> 00:58:42,840
against subs. He's getting already for the income and divorce.

1291
00:58:43,119 --> 00:58:46,639
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, he's like, sweetie, I'll collect the evidence.

1292
00:58:46,679 --> 00:58:47,519
Speaker 4: He's getting divorced.

1293
00:58:48,280 --> 00:58:50,519
Speaker 2: No, no, no, Courtney's divorced.

1294
00:58:50,639 --> 00:58:52,199
Speaker 1: He's getting into the lawyers ahead of that.

1295
00:58:52,519 --> 00:58:54,000
Speaker 4: I was like, getting divorced this lately.

1296
00:58:54,039 --> 00:58:54,760
Speaker 2: He's a smart man.

1297
00:58:54,800 --> 00:58:57,000
Speaker 1: He's drawn up the draft as we speak.

1298
00:58:57,719 --> 00:58:58,400
Speaker 2: Insane thing.

1299
00:58:59,480 --> 00:59:00,639
Speaker 1: Would you guys to day.

1300
00:59:02,119 --> 00:59:04,440
Speaker 4: That if you get married once as a woman, just

1301
00:59:04,440 --> 00:59:06,480
don't do it again. I think you'll have more fun

1302
00:59:06,519 --> 00:59:10,239
if you don't do it again, if you wake it out.

1303
00:59:11,039 --> 00:59:13,079
Speaker 2: I agree with that. Yeah, you got what you needed

1304
00:59:13,280 --> 00:59:13,599
and you had.

1305
00:59:13,719 --> 00:59:16,519
Speaker 1: She had a kid too, she had some you know,

1306
00:59:17,880 --> 00:59:23,800
didn't continue the family name though with her specifically well.

1307
00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:27,559
Speaker 4: The dr husband's and.

1308
00:59:29,920 --> 00:59:32,119
Speaker 2: What does she care. I feel like she only really

1309
00:59:32,119 --> 00:59:37,480
cared about making sure she was good to go or

1310
00:59:37,519 --> 00:59:38,800
her life, you know what I mean. I don't think

1311
00:59:38,840 --> 00:59:41,480
she cared about legacy so less so I feel like

1312
00:59:41,519 --> 00:59:43,679
it's less of a not that it's not a female thing,

1313
00:59:43,719 --> 00:59:45,119
but way more of a dude thing.

1314
00:59:46,599 --> 00:59:50,159
Speaker 4: We don't hold out spray as much as we can.

1315
00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:53,360
Speaker 2: She was just like, I want to make sure that

1316
00:59:53,480 --> 00:59:55,639
everything I care about is good to go.

1317
00:59:56,000 --> 01:00:01,280
Speaker 4: She liked her animals and her beauty bombs and her buildings.

1318
01:00:02,480 --> 01:00:04,920
Speaker 2: I learned, Yeah, what are those things that go directly

1319
01:00:05,039 --> 01:00:07,519
up obelisk? Yeah, she was a big fan of those,

1320
01:00:07,840 --> 01:00:10,159
like the Washington Monument. She built like them, I believe

1321
01:00:10,320 --> 01:00:16,000
the clearly in honor of for Dad.

1322
01:00:16,079 --> 01:00:18,159
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, god, come.

1323
01:00:18,679 --> 01:00:21,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, you got to assume that the guy was hung.

1324
01:00:21,320 --> 01:00:23,719
I learned that, well what I always kind of knew,

1325
01:00:23,840 --> 01:00:28,679
but like, we don't celebrate rulers who just keep it

1326
01:00:28,960 --> 01:00:30,320
keep a good thing on cruise control.

1327
01:00:30,440 --> 01:00:32,559
Speaker 4: Enough, we got to do it more, we really.

1328
01:00:32,320 --> 01:00:34,280
Speaker 1: Do mm hmm.

1329
01:00:35,199 --> 01:00:36,159
Speaker 4: Un problematic Queen.

1330
01:00:37,280 --> 01:00:39,719
Speaker 1: I learned that Egyptians mad nine year old's jerk off

1331
01:00:39,719 --> 01:00:40,280
a statue.

1332
01:00:40,639 --> 01:00:43,920
Speaker 2: Oh. I did learn that that was certainly kind of disturbing,

1333
01:00:44,000 --> 01:00:47,400
and also that they were creative through that that the

1334
01:00:47,519 --> 01:00:50,239
a that they that they carved a yeureath right into

1335
01:00:50,239 --> 01:00:52,280
the statue and b that they shot milk through it.

1336
01:00:52,360 --> 01:00:57,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was like multisensory, pretty advanced for its time.

1337
01:00:57,719 --> 01:00:59,840
Speaker 2: I guess, you know, part of my first Disney World.

1338
01:01:00,679 --> 01:01:02,760
Speaker 1: It's Animatronics A small World.

1339
01:01:03,159 --> 01:01:04,760
Speaker 2: It's the worst, it's the worst ride.

1340
01:01:04,760 --> 01:01:06,920
Speaker 4: It's just like I wish it was smaller Disney Egypt.

1341
01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:10,199
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh man, we should we just make an adult

1342
01:01:10,239 --> 01:01:13,519
amusement park. That's just all the ancient religions. We you

1343
01:01:13,519 --> 01:01:16,559
just get fucked up and watch different things. Minus child

1344
01:01:16,639 --> 01:01:17,480
sacrifice or something.

1345
01:01:18,920 --> 01:01:19,840
Speaker 4: That's where the line.

1346
01:01:19,880 --> 01:01:21,960
Speaker 2: I guess also minus a nine year old jerking off

1347
01:01:21,960 --> 01:01:22,920
a dick, we can have an adult.

1348
01:01:23,119 --> 01:01:25,159
Speaker 4: There's some lines. I think there's there's some there's a

1349
01:01:25,199 --> 01:01:26,480
few things that will be minus, but.

1350
01:01:26,559 --> 01:01:30,519
Speaker 1: We'll take some creative decisions. Yes, may it more I

1351
01:01:30,519 --> 01:01:32,480
guess socially acceptable for today?

1352
01:01:32,639 --> 01:01:36,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, an adult jerking off a statue, an adult being sacrificed,

1353
01:01:38,199 --> 01:01:39,000
so on and so forth.

1354
01:01:39,280 --> 01:01:40,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, who's today's hitler?

1355
01:01:41,679 --> 01:01:45,239
Speaker 4: Her ship had steps on for rocking up, sucking up

1356
01:01:45,280 --> 01:01:46,679
all her hard work.

1357
01:01:46,880 --> 01:01:48,639
Speaker 2: I you know, I'm not sure it was him. Maybe

1358
01:01:48,639 --> 01:01:51,199
it was, but it feels like someone was in his ear.

1359
01:01:51,320 --> 01:01:52,960
So I want to say, whoever was in his ear?

1360
01:01:53,159 --> 01:01:53,639
Speaker 4: Maybe?

1361
01:01:54,880 --> 01:01:56,039
Speaker 1: What if it was her lover?

1362
01:01:57,519 --> 01:02:00,639
Speaker 4: He didn't You didn't really tell us much about him

1363
01:02:00,679 --> 01:02:01,360
other than he was.

1364
01:02:01,320 --> 01:02:02,880
Speaker 2: Just waiting in her office.

1365
01:02:02,960 --> 01:02:05,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, he was kind of like a like the hand advisory.

1366
01:02:05,960 --> 01:02:08,480
Speaker 2: Also, who died first or did they like kill him

1367
01:02:08,679 --> 01:02:10,280
right after she died with you like I want to

1368
01:02:10,320 --> 01:02:10,719
be with her?

1369
01:02:10,840 --> 01:02:12,519
Speaker 4: Did he want a hunchback of Notre dame her?

1370
01:02:13,079 --> 01:02:16,239
Speaker 1: Did he hunch back? I don't know the information on that,

1371
01:02:16,280 --> 01:02:18,960
but I think he died first, so I don't think

1372
01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:21,199
he was going to offer other advice to the steps.

1373
01:02:20,920 --> 01:02:25,000
Speaker 2: On but I guess. Also, Uh, today's hitler is whatever

1374
01:02:25,039 --> 01:02:26,400
gives you fucking diabetes?

1375
01:02:26,400 --> 01:02:28,679
Speaker 4: And an ancient whatever balm? Oh?

1376
01:02:28,760 --> 01:02:33,199
Speaker 2: Yeah that thees her getting cancer from putting ship. She

1377
01:02:33,280 --> 01:02:37,079
doesn't understand on her that tracks that makes sense, but like,

1378
01:02:37,400 --> 01:02:41,480
get how many dates could you possibly eat to get

1379
01:02:41,559 --> 01:02:44,119
fucking diabetes? In the ancient Egypt she got fat.

1380
01:02:44,440 --> 01:02:46,400
Speaker 4: She got so fat, and like, I just feel like

1381
01:02:47,239 --> 01:02:50,440
in a hot climate being that fat without air conditioning,

1382
01:02:50,480 --> 01:02:51,920
like it's kind of prohibited.

1383
01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:55,360
Speaker 2: Eventually you stop moving because it's a nightmare. This is

1384
01:02:55,400 --> 01:02:56,280
the worst.

1385
01:02:56,159 --> 01:03:01,400
Speaker 1: Soft times mixed soft women, and it was one of

1386
01:03:01,440 --> 01:03:03,119
the softest times in Egyptian history.

1387
01:03:03,199 --> 01:03:05,639
Speaker 4: I guess it did sound pretty soft? Yeah, pretty peaceful.

1388
01:03:06,840 --> 01:03:09,440
Speaker 1: What's all I got today? Gabby? Thank you for joining

1389
01:03:09,480 --> 01:03:11,760
us as always always, Where can the people find you?

1390
01:03:12,519 --> 01:03:17,480
Speaker 4: Uh? Just everywhere on Instagram and Twitter, x whatever at

1391
01:03:17,519 --> 01:03:18,360
gab Monte.

1392
01:03:19,199 --> 01:03:22,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, it'll be in the description.

1393
01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:24,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can also find it. You got any shows

1394
01:03:24,920 --> 01:03:25,360
coming up?

1395
01:03:26,039 --> 01:03:30,119
Speaker 1: No, fair enough? I like that, follow me, but yeah,

1396
01:03:30,239 --> 01:03:32,519
figure it out. Yeah, whenever a comedian goes on a

1397
01:03:32,519 --> 01:03:34,480
podcast and just like got these shows, the shows, these

1398
01:03:34,480 --> 01:03:36,199
shows like man ain't.

1399
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:38,079
Speaker 4: Nobody goes, I'll be posting about it on my Instagram.

1400
01:03:38,320 --> 01:03:40,440
Speaker 2: Yes, come around if you want to see your d

1401
01:03:40,480 --> 01:03:40,880
stand up.

1402
01:03:42,119 --> 01:03:42,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, do that.

1403
01:03:42,920 --> 01:03:44,119
Speaker 4: The three people that like me.

1404
01:03:44,440 --> 01:03:48,519
Speaker 1: And follow us on Patreon, Patreon dot com, slast software

1405
01:03:48,599 --> 01:03:51,840
history right now, we're giving you two additional episodes every week,

1406
01:03:51,880 --> 01:03:57,079
and there's at this point like three years of evergreen content. Yeah,

1407
01:03:57,719 --> 01:03:58,559
go go do that.

1408
01:03:58,639 --> 01:03:59,960
Speaker 2: It'll take you forever to get through it.

1409
01:04:00,239 --> 01:04:03,880
Speaker 1: Our catalog is deep. We don't repeat ourselves really often.

1410
01:04:04,199 --> 01:04:04,840
We try not to.

1411
01:04:05,000 --> 01:04:06,599
Speaker 2: I don't think we've ever repeat ourselves.

1412
01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:07,639
Speaker 1: We've never covered that.

1413
01:04:07,639 --> 01:04:08,880
Speaker 4: Are you afraid of running out?

1414
01:04:09,320 --> 01:04:11,639
Speaker 1: No? Because history is history keeps happening.

1415
01:04:11,719 --> 01:04:12,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, but like.

1416
01:04:13,880 --> 01:04:16,280
Speaker 2: There is. There are some early topics we did where

1417
01:04:16,280 --> 01:04:17,920
it's like boy, that was broad.

1418
01:04:18,159 --> 01:04:20,039
Speaker 4: Yeah, we'd like to do it again different.

1419
01:04:19,840 --> 01:04:20,639
Speaker 2: It's just you got it.

1420
01:04:20,800 --> 01:04:23,719
Speaker 1: Really, There are some some topics I would revisit.

1421
01:04:24,239 --> 01:04:27,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's those are some stuff where early on.

1422
01:04:27,199 --> 01:04:28,119
Speaker 1: We get better at it.

1423
01:04:28,519 --> 01:04:31,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's episodes early on where I would be like, like,

1424
01:04:31,519 --> 01:04:33,519
if I listen to it now, I'd be like, oh,

1425
01:04:33,960 --> 01:04:36,320
there's like three episodes inside that one episode.

1426
01:04:36,400 --> 01:04:38,559
Speaker 4: Yeah, like it did too much in one right.

1427
01:04:38,440 --> 01:04:40,519
Speaker 2: Like it's like I was just too broad, Like I

1428
01:04:40,559 --> 01:04:42,360
could have talked about that and that and that, but

1429
01:04:42,400 --> 01:04:44,480
I just did kind of a We still got.

1430
01:04:44,320 --> 01:04:47,119
Speaker 1: A tie out pretty early. I mean it took maybe

1431
01:04:47,360 --> 01:04:49,760
four months, five months before we figured it out.

1432
01:04:49,760 --> 01:04:53,880
Speaker 4: But yeah, at this point we're good day.

1433
01:04:54,360 --> 01:04:58,599
Speaker 1: We're a well oiled machine, lubricated. Three episodes a week. Man,

1434
01:05:00,320 --> 01:05:02,119
it's too bidy, it's it might be.

1435
01:05:02,480 --> 01:05:05,440
Speaker 4: It's a lot. I can't believe y'all do. It's a lot.

1436
01:05:06,480 --> 01:05:10,000
Speaker 1: But go ahead and check out the patre Make sure

1437
01:05:10,039 --> 01:05:12,920
to leave a five star review on Apple and Spotify.

1438
01:05:13,000 --> 01:05:15,079
Please and thank you on Apple. Leave review. I'll help

1439
01:05:15,199 --> 01:05:17,760
us climb up the charts. Tell a friend about the podcast,

1440
01:05:17,920 --> 01:05:21,760
best way to grow it and yeah, we love you guys,

1441
01:05:21,920 --> 01:05:25,880
thanks for tuning in. And until next week. That's Rob Fox.

1442
01:05:26,440 --> 01:05:30,440
That's gave me a month of nail and I'm dammage Ester,

1443
01:05:30,440 --> 01:05:31,599
and you just got saw served