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Speaker 1: Better Taste. You're listening to Sorry for Asking, Sorry for Asking.
Speaker 1: I'm Cole Connor and I'm Adam Ramsey. This is where
Speaker 1: we talk, shop, ask questions.
Speaker 3: Tell stories, and laugh some laughs about.
Speaker 1: Being creators as well as consumers of adult content.
Speaker 2: We love watching too, we certainly do. We also discuss
Speaker 2: the impact adult films have had on us, on our guests,
Speaker 2: and on the LGBTQ community. So strap on and strap in.
Speaker 3: And here we go. Ooh oh hello, oh hi there,
Speaker 3: oh hi Hi. I'm Adam Ramsey and I'm Cold Connor.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to Sorry for Asking, Sorry for Asking. This
Speaker 1: is episode two of season four, and we're very excited.
Speaker 1: How are you, Cole Connor.
Speaker 3: I'm okay, yeah, yeah, okay, yeah. I don't know. I
Speaker 3: rainy day blues, rainy day blues. I guess now.
Speaker 2: I was like, I kind of felt a little like
Speaker 2: under the weather the past couple of days.
Speaker 3: Maybe I felt it coming on.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but we don't look or sound it. Goodness,
Speaker 1: we have our first guest of the season. This fine
Speaker 1: day is a rainy day in Los Angeles. But that's
Speaker 1: okay because we're going to brighten your day with the beautiful,
Speaker 1: handsome and certainly one of my favorite people in the world,
Speaker 1: mister Emil Jamison. Hello, Hello, Hi there, Look at that
Speaker 1: smile voice. How are you today? Good? Yeah? Wow, It's
Speaker 1: it was like a running theme today. We're all like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know fine.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean between the rain, which good, we need it,
Speaker 4: and the world falling apart, like you know what I'm managing?
Speaker 1: Is something happening? I don't, I don't what are you
Speaker 1: talking about.
Speaker 4: I just saw this thing on this like niche news outlet.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just yeah, a couple of things, just a few,
Speaker 1: uh huh. Well, we're very happy to have you in today.
Speaker 1: We're going to ask you some questions and the questions
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm sure you're really good at talking.
Speaker 1: You have a background in words I do, and we're
Speaker 1: going to be getting into that. Yes, how long have
Speaker 1: you been in the adult industry at this point?
Speaker 4: It's coming up on three years?
Speaker 3: I think three years? Yeah, geez, is that long or short? Oh? Yeah,
Speaker 3: I don't know. I guess I thought I guess I
Speaker 3: thought it was less surprise.
Speaker 1: Sneaking up well, because you had, as I understand, and
Speaker 1: you had a pretty considerable presence on Instagram as a model.
Speaker 1: Is that correct before you started with adult stuff.
Speaker 4: Yeah, in a way, that's correct. It was more just
Speaker 4: like I was taking artsy self portraits. Yes, so I
Speaker 4: was modeling for myself and occasionally with other photographers, like
Speaker 4: collabs with photographers Mike you know, yes, exactly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we have a few of those. I would love
Speaker 1: to see. I would love to see some of my
Speaker 1: favorite model pictures. Oh that's a pretty one. Okay, did
Speaker 1: you take this one your situle?
Speaker 4: Not? Oh that is Lucas and Style.
Speaker 1: Okay, show us another one. Noah, Oh, that's an also
Speaker 1: good one. So lots of plants. You're a big plant person.
Speaker 1: We're going to be getting into that as well. In
Speaker 1: credible and Okay, that's a good one. Look at this
Speaker 1: model model which I feel like everybody except for me
Speaker 1: has I just refused. He's asked me, I've just refused
Speaker 1: to do it because I Justi'll want do what everyone
Speaker 1: else is.
Speaker 3: I haven't done that. I haven't answered the last couple
Speaker 3: of times.
Speaker 1: Yeah, right right, Oh, that we can save that one
Speaker 1: for This is actually Emil's first studio scene with Pantheon. Men,
Speaker 1: you had already been doing your personal content stuff before
Speaker 1: you started with studio, that is correct. How was it
Speaker 1: going into studio work?
Speaker 4: Certainly different? Okay, But I feel like if I had
Speaker 4: not done personal stuff beforehand, it would have been jarring
Speaker 4: to go from a person who has had sex before
Speaker 4: being a person who is getting paid to have sex
Speaker 4: on camera, like by a studio, by.
Speaker 3: A studio, yes, yes, exactly, camera person.
Speaker 4: Yes, a camera person, someone that has been like decided
Speaker 4: for me to have a scene with, as opposed to
Speaker 4: you know, reaching out to people that I think are
Speaker 4: hot and being like, let's do the deed on camera, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Make it special. That was kind of yours as well, right, Cole,
Speaker 1: You started an only fan and then got a studio gig.
Speaker 2: Well, I started mid October twenty twenty, and then I
Speaker 2: shot something like almost every day for all of November,
Speaker 2: and then I seen, like December fifth.
Speaker 1: A true workhorse, this one. Yeah, it's true, it's great.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I was having fun. I was like having
Speaker 3: a good time.
Speaker 1: That's pretty fast, though, to go from personal content to studio.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean well, Tony DeMarco reached out to me
Speaker 2: because a couple of people told him about me and
Speaker 2: wanted me in something.
Speaker 1: They said, you've got to work with this slut. He's
Speaker 1: hard working and very talented, well as a twelve year
Speaker 1: veteran of this industry as old as the Hills, as
Speaker 1: I've been called by my closest friends, who all happened
Speaker 1: to be ten plus years younger than me. Anyway, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I started in studio, and you're right, it is weird,
Speaker 1: but it was like, you know, I had a background,
Speaker 1: a little bit of you know, making movies here and
Speaker 1: there for friends and you know, if you're thirty one
Speaker 1: and horny, and they actually gave me. They were like,
Speaker 1: we're gonna pair you with this one. What do you think?
Speaker 1: And I was like, uh, drool, yes please. And my
Speaker 1: first I don't know if you know this, Emil, but
Speaker 1: my first studio scene was essentially a saw ripoff, so
Speaker 1: I also had to act scared.
Speaker 3: Oh wow.
Speaker 1: Yeah. They threw me into this cell with this ravenous
Speaker 1: you know, person who had been in there for a
Speaker 1: long time was stex sex starved. And I don't know
Speaker 1: if Tom one, I don't think it's called whole two.
Speaker 1: And I immediately was on the center of that DVD
Speaker 1: because yes, this was the days of DVD porn. Does
Speaker 1: Tony DeMarco listen to this podcast? I kind of doubt it,
Speaker 1: but it okay? He I mean, I'm guessing this is
Speaker 1: why he never hired me again. It's possibly, and it
Speaker 1: could be because he didn't work with Raging Stout anymore.
Speaker 1: Steve Cruz took over, but essentially I kept fighting him
Speaker 1: a little bit because he was like, Okay, so now
Speaker 1: you're gonna act scared because we threw you into this cell.
Speaker 1: But then when you start engaging with this sex starved stranger,
Speaker 1: make sure you you shove his head to your dick
Speaker 1: and shove your dick in his mouth and start throat
Speaker 1: fucking him. And I kind of was like, that doesn't
Speaker 1: make sense. How wouldn't he be doing that to me?
Speaker 1: Wink wink. And it didn't work.
Speaker 4: You know what, I feel threatened. There's the fight flight
Speaker 4: and then a little known third one fuck.
Speaker 1: Fuck yes, throat fuck especially yes, Yeah, I'm gonna you're
Speaker 1: you give me that mouth, stranger, I'm scared of you,
Speaker 1: but here I'm gonna shove my dick your mouth anyway. Well,
Speaker 1: so cool, you have been a beautiful presence in this industry.
Speaker 1: I feel like everyone I know who's worked with you
Speaker 1: really enjoys it. That was sort of how we met.
Speaker 1: We you know, I had seen your Instagram stuff. You
Speaker 1: moved to Los Angeles and several people were like, you
Speaker 1: gotta work with this person, and yeah, great job.
Speaker 4: Thanks.
Speaker 1: Let's get into some of the makings of Emil Jamison.
Speaker 1: We're gonna start with where you were born and how
Speaker 1: you grew up.
Speaker 4: I was born in Akron, Ohio, which is near Cleveland,
Speaker 4: kind of northeastern Ohioho. Yes, wait, Ohio boy, I'm from Kentucky.
Speaker 4: Okay ALMOSTO.
Speaker 2: I've been and I usually know where I've where a
Speaker 2: city is if I've been.
Speaker 4: There, right, huh usually good? Impressive.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 4: I grew up in a very religious household. My dad
Speaker 4: is a pastor. He has been my whole life. When
Speaker 4: I was three months old, my family moved to Prague.
Speaker 4: My parents are missionaries there for four years, and then
Speaker 4: we moved back to Ohio.
Speaker 1: Spreading the word of God. So you only lived in
Speaker 1: Prague from two to six? Is that what you said?
Speaker 4: No, from three months old until I was four?
Speaker 1: Oh? Gotcha? So you don't really remember living in Prague.
Speaker 4: I mean my first memories are from there. Okay, but like,
Speaker 4: I don't know, how do you classify memories.
Speaker 3: When you think when you think of like what makes
Speaker 3: you say that you have your first memories are from there?
Speaker 1: Like what is the memory?
Speaker 4: I mean like being at a market in the old
Speaker 4: town square and like the linoleum in our apartment, and
Speaker 4: like memories with my dad of like just playing.
Speaker 3: I said, do you have memories from when you were four?
Speaker 3: I probably do?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, like yeah, swing set things, yeah, like the
Speaker 2: other kids.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's some random blips of right, they're random little blips.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So then you moved back to Akron, yes, and you.
Speaker 4: Were there for how long until I was eighteen?
Speaker 1: Until you're eighteen? And what was it like being a
Speaker 1: young gay boy in Akron? Slash teenager?
Speaker 4: Very confusing?
Speaker 1: Okay, talk about it.
Speaker 4: I knew I was gay when I was a normal age,
Speaker 4: like eleven or twelve?
Speaker 1: Really? Yeah, may I ask how? Like what was knowing
Speaker 1: that at eleven?
Speaker 4: Like yeah, uh, there were just boys that I had
Speaker 4: crushes on, huh. And I was like, well, if I
Speaker 4: make myself try really hard, I can have a crush
Speaker 4: on a girl. But it's way easier and a lot
Speaker 4: more terrifying having crushes on boys.
Speaker 3: Did you experiment with boys like at that age?
Speaker 4: No? No, no, absolutely terrified to do that. So it
Speaker 4: was just like the secret that I harbored for a
Speaker 4: while and then my dad actually outed me when I
Speaker 4: was eighteen, right before high school graduation. This is like
Speaker 4: really shady of him. He had installed this like parental
Speaker 4: I don't know, parental control, yeah, on the computer. And
Speaker 4: it wasn't a thing that prevented you from going to
Speaker 4: any inappropriate website. It let you go there, it spied.
Speaker 4: It just told him that I went there. Yeah, he
Speaker 4: just checked the search history. Oh no, I deleted the
Speaker 4: search history. But it would just be like if you
Speaker 4: went to one of these websites, it would send him
Speaker 4: an email and be like this website was accessed.
Speaker 1: What were the websites?
Speaker 4: They were like the softest core porn websites.
Speaker 2: It was like, don't say any by name since we
Speaker 2: apparently sure.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay, I mean, but I don't remember what
Speaker 1: I mean, Like, I'm just curious what the content was like.
Speaker 4: It was literally just like still images of naked men.
Speaker 4: I don't think I like saw gay sex until I
Speaker 4: was like twenty.
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, I was late to that party too.
Speaker 4: I feel like, yeah, when I first thought, I was
Speaker 4: like in the butt?
Speaker 3: What?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: And I was like, that's that's a.
Speaker 1: Lot, that's gross. I would never Let's see, did you
Speaker 1: have exposure to any other kind of sexual content in
Speaker 1: your like formative years or teenage years, Like did you
Speaker 1: see movies or straight porn?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 4: I was extremely sheltered. Okay, I had an older sister. Okay, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: extremely sheltered, hyper obedient. As a child, like fully drank
Speaker 4: the Christian kool aid and was like if a little
Speaker 4: kid can be really judgmental and like a total prude,
Speaker 4: that was me. Yeah, I was like little Bible thumper kid.
Speaker 1: Can I ask a question that I have not talked
Speaker 1: to a lot of people about this, and maybe you
Speaker 1: guys can help me understand if you experienced this as well.
Speaker 1: I know of myself and of several others times when
Speaker 1: we might have said something negative about gay people or
Speaker 1: gay sex just to kind of like cover up, and
Speaker 1: I had like weird guilt about it. Did you ever
Speaker 1: have moments like that where you were like extra judgmental
Speaker 1: of the of the gay experience or like gay people
Speaker 1: or gay content you had seen on on on like TV. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I like, you know, that's gross. I can think of
Speaker 1: a couple of those things. And it was actually just
Speaker 1: toward individuals like in your life.
Speaker 4: Yeah, people I like was in high school with, oh,
Speaker 4: were like I don't think I ever said anything bad
Speaker 4: about them, but I knew my opinion of them. Honestly,
Speaker 4: I don't think it was like to cover up the
Speaker 4: fact that I was gay. It was more the fact that, man,
Speaker 4: this is getting.
Speaker 2: Like you were like, so you were like so invested
Speaker 2: in the in the drinking of the coolest Yes, yeah,
Speaker 2: like that you actually believed the propaganda exactly.
Speaker 4: Yea, So I was gonna say, this is getting like serious.
Speaker 1: That's what great like tell us the truth.
Speaker 4: This is something that I've thought about a lot and
Speaker 4: have had to like write lots of versions of this town.
Speaker 4: But what I realized after coming out and after leaving
Speaker 4: the church was that what I believed was that if
Speaker 4: someone didn't hate me as much as I hated myself,
Speaker 4: then they didn't love me. And it was this weird,
Speaker 4: twisted construct of love that I had that was actually
Speaker 4: just self hate. And so I hated the thing in myself,
Speaker 4: so I hated the thing in other people, right, And
Speaker 4: so I thought that I was like doing them an
Speaker 4: act of love by hating the thing that I saw
Speaker 4: as sin. And it's all kind of mental gymnastics, but
Speaker 4: that is so much of what is taught as morality
Speaker 4: in evangelical spaces, right.
Speaker 2: Wow, what was the process of like of like getting
Speaker 2: out of that mindset.
Speaker 4: I had some friends in college who I think were
Speaker 4: realizing that I was gay before I was acknowledging it,
Speaker 4: like I knew it but was not willing to accept it,
Speaker 4: and I think they were just like, he's gay, like whatever.
Speaker 4: And I went to a not super conservative Christian college,
Speaker 4: but a Christian college, so it was still just like
Speaker 4: a m we're not sure if we like gays, but
Speaker 4: like most of the student body was like, yeah, it's
Speaker 4: fine whatever. And I knew from conversations that they had
Speaker 4: that they were like, yes, being gay is fine whatever.
Speaker 4: And I was like, oh no, I have this construct
Speaker 4: inside me of like if you're not supporting me in
Speaker 4: me trying to kill this part of myself, then you
Speaker 4: don't love me.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 4: Insane. So I like broke off those friendships and didn't
Speaker 4: really know why. I like tried to rationalize it to myself. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and it really did take me like years to figure
Speaker 4: out these people were so good to me, why did
Speaker 4: I feel so let down by them? And so it
Speaker 4: was just thinking through all of that that finally came
Speaker 4: to that realization that it was just this twisted, sick
Speaker 4: sense of love and hate together.
Speaker 2: I don't know, I think for me it was like
Speaker 2: for what I like, what I've come to understand is
Speaker 2: that like because I fought it, and like I didn't
Speaker 2: want to be honest with myself about being gay. I
Speaker 2: think that comes off to other people as you being
Speaker 2: dishonest and not authentic, and people aren't attracted to that. Like,
Speaker 2: I don't think what I maybe felt as or could
Speaker 2: look at as homophobia now was really just someone being like, oh,
Speaker 2: this guy's just kind of full of Shitay.
Speaker 1: So wait, did you answer Cole's question about like what
Speaker 1: it took to kind of get out of Like it
Speaker 1: took a lot of thought, a lot of thought, thot thought.
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, I after college, So like I came out
Speaker 4: at the end of college, had this accidental boyfriend, and
Speaker 4: then moved moved abroad to Lithuania and went back in
Speaker 4: the closet. And while I was there, there were like
Speaker 4: no churches in English, so I just stopped going to
Speaker 4: church and was away from my family for an extended
Speaker 4: period of time for the first time in my life,
Speaker 4: and had experienced being out and then experienced going back
Speaker 4: in and all of that was kind of traumatic, but
Speaker 4: in the best way. And it just kind of like
Speaker 4: I realized you didn't believe this shit anymore. I was
Speaker 4: just like, I just want to like suck a dick, amen, sister.
Speaker 4: And it was honestly this like tear. I felt myself
Speaker 4: like standing on a cliff of like, Okay, if I
Speaker 4: step off, either nothing's going to change or I'm going
Speaker 4: to turn into the worst cinner imaginable and I'm going
Speaker 4: straight to hell. And really nothing changed.
Speaker 3: So do you remember the first dick you sucked? Yes?
Speaker 1: Who was it?
Speaker 4: Am I allowed to say names? You?
Speaker 3: I mean, you can talk about the penis itself?
Speaker 1: Well, no, no, I want to maybe the scenario of
Speaker 1: who this person was, how his dick laid it in
Speaker 1: your mouth?
Speaker 4: Is the gym showers in Kyoga Falls, Ohio at the
Speaker 4: former La Fitness when you were how old twenty three
Speaker 4: or four.
Speaker 1: So was this after college or after Can you tell
Speaker 1: us what you were doing in Lithuania.
Speaker 4: I was working for a university that had a study
Speaker 4: abroad program, So I was traveling around the States and
Speaker 4: Canada to recruit university students to study abroad in Lithuania.
Speaker 4: So I spent six to seven weeks every semester traveling
Speaker 4: around the US and then I would go back to
Speaker 4: Lithuania and basically act as a cultural guide or chaperone
Speaker 4: to the students that were studying there.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, So I.
Speaker 4: Had done this program a few years earlier, so I
Speaker 4: was like familiar with the school, with the culture, with
Speaker 4: the language to some degree.
Speaker 1: And is Lithuania a hard place to be gay? Yes?
Speaker 1: Oh so that's why you were felt like you were
Speaker 1: forced back in the club.
Speaker 4: It was a Christian university. Lithuania itself is just quite conservative,
Speaker 4: especially where I was in the capital maybe a little
Speaker 4: bit different, but I was on the coast of the
Speaker 4: Baltic Sea and it was much more conservative.
Speaker 1: Wow. Okay, And then you came back to Akron and
Speaker 1: sucked your first dick because you were like, wow, that
Speaker 1: was a long time not being gay. Time to jump
Speaker 1: back in and how did that feel? Was their shame
Speaker 1: or was there more like liberation?
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I was shaking with excitement.
Speaker 1: You know what. The first time that I was with
Speaker 1: a man, I was literally like hyperventilating. I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: for sure. Yeah, I was so scared and so excited.
Speaker 1: And I also remember the first dick I sucked. It
Speaker 1: was a man from Louisiana, ginger rugby body. It was
Speaker 1: in Washington, d C. And the dorms that I was
Speaker 1: staying in when I had internships dorms, Thank god for those.
Speaker 1: My lord, who was the first dick you sucked? Cole Connor?
Speaker 2: Oh, man, I'm not sure if I like because I
Speaker 2: was struggling with it. I think my first few experiences
Speaker 2: with gay secks were like blackout drunk, so then I
Speaker 2: could be like, oh that was at me, that was just.
Speaker 3: Like that was I was so fucked up. I could
Speaker 3: rationalize that.
Speaker 1: Boy.
Speaker 2: But I do remember meeting a guy, and this was
Speaker 2: in Lexington. It was probably before I moved, doesn't Yeah,
Speaker 2: it doesn't.
Speaker 3: It was probably when I was like twenty one.
Speaker 2: He had the same name as me, the same birthday, Whoa,
Speaker 2: And we spent all night fucking and I never saw
Speaker 2: him again.
Speaker 1: Wow, well that's kind of fun.
Speaker 2: We had this like weird like connection. I was like,
Speaker 2: I definitely was like, oh my god, it's just like me.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, I want to pull a couple photos up,
Speaker 1: if you don't mind, some younger photos mister, mister Emil
Speaker 1: Jamison before he was a Neil Jamison. Look at this guy.
Speaker 1: Look how cute?
Speaker 3: Look at that hair?
Speaker 1: Look at wow, look at this one. This this guy.
Speaker 1: Would this guy believe the life you have today?
Speaker 4: Absolutely not?
Speaker 1: Oh man, I mean I got so. It's funny, like
Speaker 1: you look very cute but very dorky. Were you always
Speaker 1: kind of dorky? Yeah? Yeah, yeah. You studied linguistics twice
Speaker 1: undergrad as well as grad. Yes, okay, all right, what
Speaker 1: made you choose that field?
Speaker 4: It was actually a suggestion from my mom.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 4: I originally wanted to go into music education, but that
Speaker 4: seemed too involved. As an I didn't want to do
Speaker 4: student teaching. I didn't want to like have two majors.
Speaker 4: So she was like, well, what about linguistics? Like you
Speaker 4: made up in alphabet when you were three, you learned language.
Speaker 1: It's fun.
Speaker 4: You've memorized the Hungarian national anthem. As a joke, like
Speaker 4: you love German? Why not this? And I was like,
Speaker 4: you know what, You're right. I think it's absolutely fascinating,
Speaker 4: like ninety five percent useless but really interesting.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm. Cool. So you do have a MU music
Speaker 1: background as well? You currently teach piano? I do. That's
Speaker 1: my day job, you guys. He teaches piano and he's
Speaker 1: learning to be a piano tuner. Can you imagine this
Speaker 1: person teaching you piano or tuning your piano? Look his
Speaker 1: Instagram up and if you live in LA and need
Speaker 1: such services.
Speaker 3: Reach out pretty well?
Speaker 2: Really yeah, but it's been so long, but I could
Speaker 2: probably pick it up again.
Speaker 4: It's like riding bike.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, if you need lessons, you live not far from me.
Speaker 1: Do you enjoy teaching piano most.
Speaker 4: Of the time?
Speaker 1: Okay? Yeah? All right? Cool, Well that's great. Well to
Speaker 1: get into just a little bit about what it's like
Speaker 1: today for you as a adult film creator. I want
Speaker 1: to talk a little bit also about you what it's
Speaker 1: like to consume adult Do you watch adult content? Do
Speaker 1: you like porn? Did you before? And do you less now? Like?
Speaker 1: What's that like?
Speaker 4: I've had like an undulating relationship with porn.
Speaker 1: Okay, great word, thank you.
Speaker 4: I think that it used to hold more importance to me,
Speaker 4: and now I'm just like it's it's so saturated, Like
Speaker 4: Twitter is literally just butts and dicks, and I just
Speaker 4: see so much of it that I don't know. Maybe
Speaker 4: it's that my taste has become more curated or more developed,
Speaker 4: and it's just like two guys fucking in a hotel
Speaker 4: room really isn't going to do it for me anymore.
Speaker 4: And that's also not the kind of content that I
Speaker 4: want to create, because it feels like factory made almost.
Speaker 4: It's just like where's the heart. I want to like
Speaker 4: make interesting things, not necessarily like I mean, kink isn't
Speaker 4: necessarily my thing. I say that, Yeah, that's actually not true.
Speaker 4: By weird and interesting, I just mean like scenarios lighting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, your name might have come up actually when we
Speaker 1: had Troy Daniels on the program, because Troy. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: love Troy, and Troy's whole thing is boys and beds. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and like I think that you have said specifically that
Speaker 1: like you're tire that crap. Correct, Okay, yeah, all right, yeah.
Speaker 3: I like boys and dods too. I like making boys
Speaker 3: and duds.
Speaker 2: It's like the thing is, I'm like I was telling
Speaker 2: someone the other day, I'm like, porn is for the
Speaker 2: most part repetitive, and there's a formula to it, and
Speaker 2: it's like, you know, oral, oral, penetrated penetration, come come.
Speaker 1: It's like so I mean, and I mean that I
Speaker 1: would say, still kind of I know people talk shit
Speaker 1: about that formula a lot, and you know, we've come
Speaker 1: to rely on it as like a staple. But like,
Speaker 1: if you think about it, that is kind of a
Speaker 1: natural trajectory of natural sex as well, like like the
Speaker 1: four play. I mean, it doesn't have to I know,
Speaker 1: but like if the goal is to fucking come, you
Speaker 1: start with kissing, you start with building the chemistry oral
Speaker 1: and for play. And so I don't hate it. And
Speaker 1: you know, essentially we're, yeah, we're creating a fantasy, but
Speaker 1: we're also showing what sex is like and how it
Speaker 1: can feel good and like.
Speaker 4: Education and I mean sure it can, and how it
Speaker 4: can look at making it look good. Sometimes people have
Speaker 4: like awkward sex in the dark.
Speaker 3: Yes, you know, like normals and.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know, and sometimes I understand, Like I
Speaker 1: read a book called Sex Outside the Lines by someone
Speaker 1: named Chris Donahue, who swore up and down that what
Speaker 1: he was trying to kind of purvey to his readers
Speaker 1: was that sex doesn't have to follow a formula. You
Speaker 1: don't have to be hard, you don't have to come,
Speaker 1: you don't have to follow this structured schedule in order
Speaker 1: to experience pleasure with a partner. Do you guys ascribe
Speaker 1: to agree with that?
Speaker 2: But when you're making porn, you want to make stuff
Speaker 2: that people want to watch, which is like, I mean,
Speaker 2: sometimes people get too nervous to be like sometimes real
Speaker 2: people having real sex might be too nervous and they
Speaker 2: can't come, or like they can't get hard, and like
Speaker 2: they're you know, so they want to see people having
Speaker 2: no problem with it, no issue, and like fantasize about
Speaker 2: having that experience themselves.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I disagree, Okay, tell us explain, exe expound. My
Speaker 4: favorite kind of porn to watch is where there is chemistry,
Speaker 4: whether there is whether it's real or manufactured, and a
Speaker 4: lot of the time that does not follow a formula.
Speaker 4: It just follows what your bodies want to do, and
Speaker 4: it feels more natural. It doesn't feel formula in it
Speaker 4: can follow that formula, but I think there's so much
Speaker 4: sex outside of that formula that is beautiful and exciting,
Speaker 4: and that is kind of where I want to land.
Speaker 1: Is there any content of yours that you're particularly proud
Speaker 1: of or like that you really enjoyed making anything that
Speaker 1: comes to mind?
Speaker 4: Yes, Okay, there is one with Riley Walker, right Walker,
Speaker 4: he's in DC.
Speaker 1: Okay, I believe What did you like about it? We
Speaker 1: forgot the camera was there? Was there a cameraman or stationary.
Speaker 4: There were two stationary cameras. I know, I just said
Speaker 4: I don't like doing stuff in hotel rooms, but this
Speaker 4: was in an Airbnb on a bed, and there was
Speaker 4: just kind of instant connection. We had had like maybe
Speaker 4: a five minute conversation beforehand, and I think we both
Speaker 4: surprised each other with our personalities, like how we talk
Speaker 4: to each other, and that just carried into the bedroom
Speaker 4: and it was one of those situations where I don't
Speaker 4: think it followed the formula. Really honestly, it's not like
Speaker 4: the most well shot thing, because like we forgot the
Speaker 4: cameras were there, so the angle maybe a little bit off,
Speaker 4: but the lighting is beautiful and you can just like
Speaker 4: clearly tell that there's chemistry between the two of us.
Speaker 4: I had so much fun editing it, just because we're
Speaker 4: like giggling the whole time, and also like asking each
Speaker 4: other questions and like making sure that we both feel okay.
Speaker 1: While the camera is still running. While that's beautiful, I
Speaker 1: cut those out because like that could be bonus content.
Speaker 1: People would really be into that. Actually, as a consumer myself, right,
Speaker 1: I would enjoy that very much.
Speaker 4: I also, mister Ramsey, really enjoyed my scene with you.
Speaker 4: I remember that we constantly went back and forth asking
Speaker 4: if we felt okay, and that our first scene, that
Speaker 4: was our first scene. Oh yeah, on our friend's balcony.
Speaker 4: Yes in Hollywood. To me, that just meant a lot.
Speaker 4: And also like I know, this is weird to do
Speaker 4: at the end of like any kind of sex, but
Speaker 4: we high fived, like you came on my face and
Speaker 4: then we high fived, and then like it just ends
Speaker 4: with me laughing really hard because who does that.
Speaker 3: I've done that? Yeah, we should high five. Yeah. I
Speaker 3: feel that it was just like it.
Speaker 1: Was so good. It was just an instinct. I think
Speaker 1: we just like we just had more. We just had
Speaker 1: a lot of fun.
Speaker 4: We did, and it's like really communicative.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, and that's why I feel like a high
Speaker 1: five just felt like the right thing to do. I
Speaker 1: will say, as someone who is a fan of your work,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you. I have watched the scene. I've
Speaker 1: mentioned this many times. I don't know if you've seen
Speaker 1: this Cole. He has like a fifty five minute scene
Speaker 1: with Derek Cage in this beautifully lit hotel. I mean
Speaker 1: you're talking about you hate hotel and you hate beds.
Speaker 1: I know, excellent work. Like I mean, it's beautifully lit,
Speaker 1: there's great angles, and I'm shitting you not this is
Speaker 1: me plugging a person I care for, and like I'm
Speaker 1: I'm excited to have on this podcast. But like, honestly,
Speaker 1: I can't get through about sixty seconds of that scene
Speaker 1: without coming right, Like I just it's just so beautiful,
Speaker 1: and you know, and you're both people that I like
Speaker 1: very much and so to see you guys just have
Speaker 1: so much fun together. And you go in and out
Speaker 1: of like just hanging out into like deep passionate, fucking
Speaker 1: gorgeous works. Don't shy away from boys and beds or
Speaker 1: because it's not about the but also get artsy, Like
Speaker 1: I think you have a tendency toward being artistic with
Speaker 1: your body and the content you like to make exactly.
Speaker 1: I partly wanted to show those cute, young, dorky photos
Speaker 1: of you because as someone who doubted himself a lot
Speaker 1: for a long time and then now as all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, like or in the past twelve years, has
Speaker 1: been in the position to get paid for his naked body,
Speaker 1: was that something you had to just you like just
Speaker 1: realized one day, like yes, okay, what was it like
Speaker 1: kind of realizing like, oh, I'm attractive and I actually
Speaker 1: pose really well for the camera.
Speaker 4: Like it was part of my like leaving Christianity, where
Speaker 4: modesty was preached so hard that like don't show your body.
Speaker 4: Doesn't matter if you're a boy or a girl, like
Speaker 4: your body is not to be shown. And then I
Speaker 4: was in grad school and like the second semester, specifically,
Speaker 4: my professors were on strike, so I had like a
Speaker 4: class to go to each week, and I would just
Speaker 4: be in the gym for like two and a half
Speaker 4: hours a day because I had nothing else to do,
Speaker 4: like right and go to the gym.
Speaker 1: And this was where Scotland, Scotland, this is that's where
Speaker 1: you went to grad.
Speaker 4: School, University of Edinburgh.
Speaker 1: Okay, And so that is when you started to see
Speaker 1: some transformation in your physical shape.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I was like, oh, I'm attractive. I'm just
Speaker 4: going to post some like thirsty things on the internet.
Speaker 4: And it turned into like a creative outlet. And that
Speaker 4: was on your Instagram, that was on my Instagram. And
Speaker 4: I've described that as being like a crucible where I
Speaker 4: would like put in parts of my life that I
Speaker 4: wasn't comfortable with in my real life and like practice
Speaker 4: them in there, Like how do I be sexy because
Speaker 4: I've never let myself be sexy before? Or like how
Speaker 4: do I like flirt or accept compliments like on my physicality?
Speaker 4: Like these kinds of things just things that were new
Speaker 4: to you, new to me at twenty four, like what insane?
Speaker 4: And then once I got good at them with this
Speaker 4: online persona, reincorporated them back into my normal life.
Speaker 1: Like your personal life. Yeah wow, damn strikes and social
Speaker 1: media saving lives apparently. Yeah, well good work. Were you
Speaker 1: like a skinny kid before? Were you more of like
Speaker 1: a like average average and then like your twenty four
Speaker 1: year old self going to the gym two and a
Speaker 1: half hours a day and you're like, oh I'm hot.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was all around the City gym all the time.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, did.
Speaker 3: You not have like a like.
Speaker 1: Like moment hot hotness up? Yeah? Yeah. I feel like
Speaker 1: in my so in my twenties, I just felt like
Speaker 1: I was like I was like normal and cute and
Speaker 1: kind of like vaguely ethnic, and you know, I never
Speaker 1: had problems getting attention from cute boys, but I never
Speaker 1: I never like looked at a photo of myself and
Speaker 1: was like, damn killing it. It wasn't until I left
Speaker 1: my office job started going to grad school at age thirty,
Speaker 1: and then I was waiting tables and going to the
Speaker 1: gym way more. And that was when I kind of like,
Speaker 1: I don't know if it was the age that I
Speaker 1: was or the activities I was participating in where my
Speaker 1: body started to actually respond really well to exercise. Also,
Speaker 1: who doesn't love a beard? I sure love it, and
Speaker 1: I have stuck with it as most of the past
Speaker 1: fifteen years. But that was when Chris Ward found me
Speaker 1: at Raging Stallion. He saw pictures of me on a
Speaker 1: website called Dude's Nude. If you've heard of this super
Speaker 1: old school beta like sex, you know, like Grinder before
Speaker 1: Grinder maybe anyway, So he saw those photos and he
Speaker 1: was like, what can I do to convince you to
Speaker 1: work for me? And I was like me And it
Speaker 1: was then that I think, you know, I like started
Speaker 1: doing porn, moved to San Francisco, and that was at
Speaker 1: age thirty one, so like I was late to like
Speaker 1: owning it. And I was telling you on the way
Speaker 1: over here that, like, I even saw photos of myself
Speaker 1: from a shoot ten years ago, and it looks so good.
Speaker 1: And I don't think I even knew then, even as
Speaker 1: I was being paid by one of the top porn studios,
Speaker 1: that I looked as good as I did. Yeah. Self
Speaker 1: doubt plagues us in our community for so long. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because of the examples we've shared of like how we've
Speaker 1: grown up, and we've all shared we're just you know,
Speaker 1: fucked up people, us kids who are just constantly liberating
Speaker 1: ourselves and feeling empowered. And I feel very lucky to
Speaker 1: be homosexual, but it took a while to get there.
Speaker 1: How are you feeling now about your position in the industry.
Speaker 4: I don't know. It's a slow march. I feel like
Speaker 4: I'm doing the slow and steady approach as opposed to
Speaker 4: like jumping in applying to all the studios collabing with
Speaker 4: every person available under the sun. I am going slow.
Speaker 1: Okay, do you feel like you've been collaborating with a
Speaker 1: lot of people?
Speaker 4: Like, honestly, no, I am kind of picky.
Speaker 1: Cole Connor has no idea what that's like.
Speaker 4: I have started making my like baseline, who do I
Speaker 4: want to hang out with for an hour? Like I don't.
Speaker 1: That's a good one, thank you.
Speaker 4: I don't necessarily care how hot they are, how many
Speaker 4: followers they have, how big their dick is. It's like,
Speaker 4: do I want to give this person an hour of
Speaker 4: my time? Will I enjoy this? I have had several
Speaker 4: conversations recently about being charmed into sex and like that's
Speaker 4: my favorite thing. Like a hawkeye just isn't gonna do
Speaker 4: it for me anymore. It's gotta be a hot, nice
Speaker 4: guy who makes me laugh. Yes, So if you can
Speaker 4: do that there in luck?
Speaker 1: Okay, is there anyone that you haven't worked with that
Speaker 1: you would love to work with in the industry, Like
Speaker 1: anyone you're a particular fan of that you would love
Speaker 1: to meet?
Speaker 4: And I mean, this is not likely to happen, But
Speaker 4: like Francois Saga, such a common answer to this question, right,
Speaker 4: he just seems like an intriguing person.
Speaker 3: Based on what have you. I don't know if that's.
Speaker 1: You know what, like truly like personality and me sorry
Speaker 1: to talk personality minus. From what I've gathered, he just
Speaker 1: looks kind of like a cartoon fantasy version of gay
Speaker 1: male slash version of yourself. Just gonna go ahead, and
Speaker 1: so I think I'm like a foot taller anyway. No,
Speaker 1: it's just like the artistry of it. Yes, I think
Speaker 1: is really intriguing. I literally know nothing about him as
Speaker 1: a person other than people have said he's nice.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but other people in the industry. No, I just
Speaker 4: like having sex with my friends. Yes, my favorite yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: the hot Dog boys just like going through them.
Speaker 1: Yes. If you guys have looked at our hot dog Instagram,
Speaker 1: you'll probably have seen Emial a lot, because once he
Speaker 1: got introduced to the fold, he became one of Mario
Speaker 1: Diaz's favorite go go boys. And I think I attribute
Speaker 1: that partly to your teacher's pet attitude.
Speaker 4: I do have.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you sort of mentioned it a little bit about
Speaker 1: your childhood, so yeah, you can take the boy out
Speaker 1: of Akron, but correct. Yeah, Well, as we wrap up,
Speaker 1: I have one more question unless Cole, you have anything
Speaker 1: else I want to I want to bring back one
Speaker 1: of our past traditions on this show, and I think
Speaker 1: you know what it's going to be.
Speaker 3: Yeah, can we do it?
Speaker 2: I wanted to say, just because, like I don't know,
Speaker 2: it's been weighing on me the past week or so
Speaker 2: since we heard about our.
Speaker 3: Friend ramon Mercury.
Speaker 1: I'm glad and.
Speaker 2: I thought it would be appropriate with him as our
Speaker 2: guests because the four of us were on that Pantheon shoot, yes,
Speaker 2: in Palm Springs, and you know, it was just four
Speaker 2: of us, Like I made dinner for us for and
Speaker 2: you and I went grocery shopping like just you and
Speaker 2: had a little really cute time as I spoke to
Speaker 2: it before and then like got we couldn't didn't know
Speaker 2: where we were, like where anything was in the grocery store.
Speaker 3: But it took a while to settle in that and
Speaker 3: like we.
Speaker 1: Lost Roman Mercury is what we're talking about.
Speaker 2: That, Like I'm affected by it and deeply saddened by it,
Speaker 2: and I just wanted to say his name.
Speaker 1: And thank you. I'm sorry. I actually meant to do
Speaker 1: that and completely forgot. I've been having so much fun
Speaker 1: in this conversation. But it's true we the three of
Speaker 1: us and Brodie Meyer and a couple other performers, had
Speaker 1: such a wonderful weekend with Pantheon men in May. I
Speaker 1: want to say of this past year and Roman Mercury,
Speaker 1: what a goofball. We had so much fun. He was
Speaker 1: my first scene partner ever really in studio. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: guess that photo that we that we showed was kind
Speaker 1: of from that weekend. Yeah, we'll miss thee Roman. Also
Speaker 1: Tim Krueger rest in peace. Like two huge losses in
Speaker 1: the industry back to back. Thank you Cole for mentioning that.
Speaker 1: As we wrap up, I would like to ask you
Speaker 1: a final question. Okay, mister Jamison, we could pull up
Speaker 1: one of those older photos Noah, if you don't mind.
Speaker 1: But we can also go even younger in the tradition
Speaker 1: of RuPaul's drag race as they used to do, if
Speaker 1: you could speak to your younger self.
Speaker 3: Just keep that one up because we don't want it
Speaker 3: to be too young.
Speaker 1: No, that's it, No, we can we can drop those. Yeah. Basically,
Speaker 1: like point being, tell your younger self a little bit
Speaker 1: about you today, and like what would you tell your
Speaker 1: younger self today? From what you know and what you've
Speaker 1: experienced since your younger years.
Speaker 4: That is a great question. And I'm thinking about myself
Speaker 4: in those photos when I was in the green shirt
Speaker 4: twenty two and the other one twenty three.
Speaker 1: Wow. What would you tell him?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would tell him to not be afraid of
Speaker 4: making decisions, to listen to what you know you want,
Speaker 4: and to not be afraid to disappoint your mom.
Speaker 1: Hey, yeah, that's pretty good advice. Reach out to us
Speaker 1: listeners if that sounds like good advice to you, don't
Speaker 1: be afraid to disappoint your mom's cool. Well, this was
Speaker 1: a great conversation, as I knew it would be.
Speaker 3: Thanks for coming on, of course, Thanks for so much
Speaker 3: you guys.
Speaker 1: Look for Emil Jamison at his into Graham listed there
Speaker 1: Emil Underscore. Jamison Underscore also been known on the other
Speaker 1: website as Femmy Daddy. Yeah right, yes, love that. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much for joining us, of course, sure to
Speaker 1: love you, love you too, yeah, blush again. Thank you
Speaker 1: all so much for listening and tune in to our
Speaker 1: next episode with none of Them. Mister Logan Stevens another
Speaker 1: beautiful multi hyphenet. Thank you, Cole.
Speaker 3: You're welcome. I am Cole Connor.
Speaker 1: I'm Adam Ramsey. This has been sorry for asking. By
Speaker 1: now bye.
Speaker 3: This has been sorry for asking.
Speaker 1: Be sure to like, comment and subscribe, and until next time,
Speaker 1: stay sexy.