Speaker 1: I made a dicsion.
Speaker 2: Sunny sound on my head vision.
Speaker 1: It's nice. Hello everybody, and welcome to for crying out loud.
If this sounds a little bit different, it's because it's me, Stephanie,
and I'm opening the show and Lynette's not here because
she's out of town on vacation horn around. I don't
know what she's doing, but Julie Casem is here with me.
Here I am.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna try and help help float the boat over here. Stephanie,
I'm so excited about it.
Speaker 1: You are the easiest because you're not really a guest,
you're your co host. You're just my friend. Yeah, totally,
we'll just shoot the ship. I don't mean just my friend.
From the first time you ever came on this show,
I don't even think you were nervous at all. You
were just like, okay, what's up.
Speaker 2: Well, you make it a very easy, chill environment, and
your show is really just two women like chit chatting.
Speaker 1: It's literally that.
Speaker 2: That's why, like when you asked me to be on,
I think last week, I was like, Okay, I'm not
gonna call you so that we can just like talk
here today and it's easy.
Speaker 1: It is so easy. And we have a history. Yeah,
we have so many stories and just so many random things.
Speaker 2: I was thinking, so Bella's twenty one today, Oh my god,
deser birth yes, and I know, and I was thinking, like,
we celebrated Bella's second birthday together.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and now she's twenty one. I was just like,
oh my god, almost twenty years of birthdays. This is crazy.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So she's the first one of our, of the
three of us, you, me and Laura, that's turning twenty one.
So she's spending her birthday in London and she's just
having a party at her apartment.
Speaker 1: So she's like, she's so cute, love it. She's such
like a betty homemaker.
Speaker 2: She's like she went and got like decorations and two
different kinds of cakes, and she's making because you know,
it's close to her birthday. So she's making these little
mummy hot dogs with little eyes on them, and she's
doing little different like cocktails and then putting little signs
for what the names are.
Speaker 1: For all the cocktails.
Speaker 2: And she's like, I'm very busy mom running around and
she's very much like my mom because my mom was
an event planner and so it's so cute to see
her like momming it up and just like adulting out there.
Speaker 1: So it's super cute. But yeah, twenty one. So what
did are you getting her birthday present? Or did you
just give her money or what?
Speaker 2: So her birthday present was before she left. She left
in August, and right before she left, there was I
think it was Jesus Christ Superstar. Oh yeah, what it
was at the Hollywood Bawl with like you know, Adam
Lambert and I'm I am going to Butcher the woman
who played Alpha in Wick. Oh my god, I can't
give you Cynthia Revo. Oh yeah, yeah, And it was
supposed to be someone else, but that person got COVID,
so John Stamos.
Speaker 1: Took his place. Anyway, it was the thing to see,
and so I.
Speaker 2: Surprised her with the tickets and she was like, oh
my gosh. You know, so that was her birthday present.
And then of course I felt bad that she didn't
have anything over there, so I sent her the new
everybody wants these pair of pajamas called roller Rabbit. Have
you heard of this brand, Roller Rabbit? No, they're ridiculously expensive.
Oh I mean not ridiculous, but they're very high priced
pajamas with monkeys all over them.
Speaker 1: I don't freaking know. So I got her a pair
of roller rabbit pajamas. I have to say, through the years,
you have always been my gift guide. Yeah, yeah, don't.
I always call you every year before the holidays. What
are you doing? What are you getting the kids?
Speaker 2: And oh it's just like experiences. I think last year
called about Xander. I was like, dude, is there a concert?
Is there some like concert he could go to? Because
it's like, I.
Speaker 1: Don't know anymore I what they want? So yeah, that's
so cool. So she loved that. But so you just
called her for her birthday. So we hap she.
Speaker 2: Happened to be awake at midnight London time, and so
we facetimed her. Well literally, we were talking to her
at eleven forty five pm and I was like, okay,
i'll call you in fifteen minutes and we'll say, you know,
happy birthday. So the three of us, Sophie, Jamila and
I we face timed her. I have a little picture
of it, and we.
Speaker 1: Just said happy birthday, and that was it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was super cute. And then I mean we
talked like every single day anyway.
Speaker 1: Then of course I called her when I woke up.
I'm like, happy birthdays. If I didn't just talk to her,
you know, six hours prior and like what else, that's it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's kind of weird, but she actually Okay. So
my best friend Andrea Stephanie knows her well.
Speaker 1: She was on your show. Do you remember she was
on your show? She was on Parnal Discretion. Yeah, yeah, Yeah,
she's very funny.
Speaker 2: She's actually a lawyer by trade, but she should have
been on SNL.
Speaker 1: She did a bunch of hidden camera. Yes, she was
our hidden camera person and she killed it. She's so
funny and she's very deadpan. Yeah, and she's kind of
I was I was almost going to say she's kind
of Asian. She's Asian, so she has that like people
just don't expect. Yes, it'd be like pocket right, So
she seems really earnest, so yeah, should ask people questions
and then they would just play it not know that
she was fucking well.
Speaker 2: I remember one of the skits was because I think
she had had Stella at the time, who is now twelve.
Speaker 1: Stella her daughter. So she had Stella in a babyborn right,
and wasn't she.
Speaker 2: Like at a hot dog stand at the Post Pinks.
Speaker 1: And she was Stella was literally a baby.
Speaker 2: I mean, this is you're not chewing food as a baby,
eating baby food and nursing.
Speaker 1: And she was like, huh, should get her the hot dog?
Speaker 2: And she was like in line like asking people like
I don't know, she get her a hot dog or
like a hamburger, and everyone's like what, like they were.
Speaker 1: Just and she played it so well. It was so awesome.
And then she also did one that was really funny
where she was at like Porto's Bakery and she was
playing a really paranoid new mom. So she was asking
everybody to stay a what like stand back from her,
and she had like a little ruler. She was like
I need I'm so sorry, I need everybody to be
like at least a foot apart from me. And then
she would pull out a role a ruler like measure
measure and like go, could you hold this and like
then stand at the end of it. Yeah, so good,
did she ever break? I mean she was so good,
Like did she ever like laugh when you guys were
doing it? She's so good.
Speaker 2: So my point is, so she's been my friend since college,
and she lives in Wales with her family now because
her husband's he's from London, but they lived in Wales
at one point anyway, so he's back in Wales. So
Bella went and spent the weekend with them, and she
made a cake for them and did all that stuff.
Speaker 1: So that was kind of like her family birthday portion
of the birthday. So oh, I thought you me and
Bella made a cake for them. Oh no, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: Andrew made a cake for Bella and they like celebrated
her birthday with her over the weekend.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just rounding out the birthday story. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: So that's that's it, dude, your your daughter's next mine's
coming up.
Speaker 1: I know, so crazy. And I teached that night, so
I was just saw lb she came home. I have
to brag on her for a minute because I know
I already said this on the podcast, but she I
told you she was very close to quitting her job
because she was like, I don't know how supposed to
be in UCLA and drive out to Calabasas to work.
It's just going to be impossible. And I understood.
Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, I get it, you know, especially
in traffic. Like if she's doing a night, like an
evening shift, and she's leaving at like three pm from UCLA,
that's an hour easily.
Speaker 1: Yes. And I had told her I wasn't happy about
it because I don't have that much money to burn,
right on top of the tuition and paying for her
apartment and her phone a lot with all her bills.
You know, you know it is, but you know I understood.
I was like, this is her last year in college?
Am I going to really like the problem was that
the restaurant wouldn't give her like very reduced hours. Oh okay.
They were like, we can't. We can't be short a hostess,
Like can't just come in like a couple times a month. Okay,
this is what she wanted to do. So anyway, and
then I think I told you on the podcast that
she'd gone in there and they had said, hey, maybe
we could move you to a different location. Oh yeah,
or maybe and then she might get trained as a
food expediter, which pays a little more. Long story short,
she didn't quit. She's making it work. She's working like
three ships a week. Wow, she's being so responsible. So yesterday,
but she's don't worry. She's not sacrificing. She's going to raves.
I think what she likes about it is now her
life isn't which I kind of thought it would be,
But her life isn't like college and then after college
like or it's she gets to combine it. So she
still has her friends, you know, her LA friends. Yeah,
they're not at school with her. She has her UCLA life,
but she's also able to still go to Raves because
she has many yeah yeah, yeah. She goes to work
and she has her coworkers, and personally, I think it's
kind of the best thing. You know.
Speaker 2: I feel like by the time you're in your last
year of college too, you're kind of like moving on
a little bit from like being so like invested in
the college atmosphere and you're kind of like, Okay, I'm
applying to grad school, or I'm more looking for work,
or I'm you know, in an internship that's going to
turn into a job, and so I feel like you're
less focused on like the you know, needing to be
so involved in the school and more about like setting
up what's coming after.
Speaker 1: So I think that's that.
Speaker 2: Makes a lot of sense for her. Because like I
think when you're a freshman and maybe a sophomore, there's
so many more like Okay, we're gonna go to Rockos tonight, Okay,
we're all going to this party, and Okay, you know,
by the time you're a senior. So I think for her,
it's probably less temptation at school to want to do
all things UCLA because like I feel like, by the
time you're a fourth year, you're kind of been there,
done that. I mean, I know she's it's her second
year at UCLA, but still, but right, it's kind of
like everybody's doing their own thing at this point. A
lot of people love boyfriend and girlfriends and they're like,
you know, spending time there. I feel like you're kind
of matured to the point where you're kind of like
been there, done that, and you're just like ready to
move on with your life. So maybe she's also found
like it's less of a pull to like, no, no, mom,
I need to be invested with all the time because
there's so much going on. Maybe she's kind of less
in that mode too, so it's easier to leave and
go to work because you're like, well, there's not that
much going on at UCLA anyway for seniors, you know,
And like I had.
Speaker 1: Said before, I think like what Bella's doing, Bella's being
in London and she's you know, having all these experiences,
and school becomes a smaller part, especially if they're not
training for an actual career, like if you're not going
to a technical school, or you're not a trade school,
or you're not you know, pre med, right, I feel
like they can just kind of colleges for developing and
figuring out what you like, and you know, so I
think that her being out there going to these shows
and networking with people, and she's always meeting with people,
I think, and even having a job, it's just a
better place for me. Yes, yeah, And if she was
to give up everything and be in school like well, because.
Speaker 2: She's also it's one thing, if she's a sociology major,
she knows she wants to be either a social worker
or going to psychology or human resources, and she's looking
for grad school, well then she would be right now
taking for the most some you know schools require the
gr gre and then she's doing applications right now for
graduate school, and like she her her major is not
her career, right now. So yeah, it can just be like,
let me get through these classes, let me take you know,
what I need to take, and just take my tests,
and it's a I feel like it's a little different
mindset because she now wants to go more into music,
the music industry right ideally in an ideal world.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I don't know. I think she just wants
to have like a like we all do. She wants
to have a fun job around the kind of stuff
that she's interested in interested in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, so I kind of I kind of get
where the like you said, the focus is less about
school for her, because it makes sense she's not like
on a specific track at this moment to hit up
graduate school or law school or med school or exactly.
Speaker 1: So before I think she was in a good place
before she went to Pierce. I mean she met with
a counselor who basically gave her the advice do whatever
you do in college, just do something that is interesting
to you and comes easily to you. It doesn't matter
for your career because, like you said, you can go
to grad school. Yeah, unless unless you have a really focus,
like you want to get you know what, you're a lawyer,
are very specific. It doesn't matter. Yeah, it really doesn't matter.
She's like, do something that you will do well in. Yeah,
it's important that you get good grades.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and something you're interested in, right, And I think sociologies.
I mean I only took one sociology class, but I
thought it was really interesting.
Speaker 1: Olbie loves it. Yeah. Right now she's in a sociology
of crime class. Oh, oh my gosh, how cool. Yeah,
and my friend Tamra did one that was like sociology
of deviant deviants, which she recommended to LB. Oh cool,
look out for that. Yeah, because Tamra is and she's
in school to be a sociologist as she's taking she's
majoring in sociology right now, went back to school. Does
she want to be a social worker? Is that what
she's No, she originally thought she wanted to be a librarian. Okay.
Speaker 2: I actually a really good friend of mine is a
full on library and has a master's degree in it.
Works at a public library in the valley.
Speaker 1: She's a full on library at level. Yeah. Tamra's not
sure if she now if she wants to do that,
but she is going to go to she is going
to get a master's. Yeah, I love that. Oh my god,
how fun. Good for her? I know?
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, so LB So she's still going to raves
and still doing her thing.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, listen to this, Like you're not going
to listen, Well, let me take off my headphones because
I really don't want to listen. She went to a
rave in San Diego this weekend by herself.
Speaker 2: What I like, She drove three hour went to a raven,
drove home, yes, by herself.
Speaker 1: Were you freaked out? I wouldn't. I didn't so scared.
I didn't know it until after the fact because me
here's how it went down. She was like, yeah, I'm
gonna go to this. She went to a show the
night before. She's she's on a little kick, okay, and
then she the next day she was she slept at
our house, and then in the morning she got ready
and she was like, I'm gonna go do my makeup
at my friend Lizzie's house. Lizzie's and I was like, okay,
and then they're gonna, I guess they're gonna drive together
to San Diego to this rave. Well it turned out,
and I, like I said, I didn't.
Speaker 2: Because Lizzie lives down south right, Lizzie is in school
at Irvine. Okay, so yeah, so she lives down but
we're yeah, so that's halfway to say, not halfway yes.
Speaker 1: But it turns out that she was literally going to
visit say hi to Lizzie on her way to this rave.
I guess she had another friend that was gonna come,
but then at the last minute couldn't. So she was like, well,
I'm gonna go.
Speaker 2: This is the same kid that was could not go
to the beach, couldn't do so many things, hated Dora
at my at Bella's second birthday, scared the crap out
of her is driving down to San Diego and going
to a rave with thousands of people. Randos Wow, I wow.
Speaker 1: Said that to her. I was like, Lbie, I cannot
believe how far you've come. I am. Oh, my god,
a way that you went by yourself. Yet she was like,
I know, I was really proud of myself. She said, Oh,
the worst part was just the anticipation of, like God,
figuring out like where I'm going to park, and like
the same thing that everybody with anxiety feels, especially you. Yeah,
but she was like, I knew I really really wanted
to see this show. Wow, a couple of DJs that
I guess she really likes. I won't even pretend to
know know who they are. I will say knock Too
was one of them. Okay, yeah, So apparently she didn't
like not tell me on purpose, but it just didn't.
So she drove down there. She went and said hi
to her friend. So I spoke to her at like midnight,
I guess because I was like, hey, are you still
coming home? Yeah, because she said the show ended at
ten and then she was going to sleep at home. Okay,
she did sleep at home, so like I guess it
was like midnight, she still was in San Diego. So
I got her and I was like, are you still
sleeping at home? I want to know if we should
not set the alarm. Yeah. She was like, yeah, I'm
just grabbing. I'm just I was star of some grabbing McDonald's.
And I said, oh, I said are you Are you
not with Lizzie And she was like no, it's just me.
Oh my god, Oh my god. Were you so scared
for her to drive home? Oh my mind? I was like, oh,
I guess Lizzie is with her boyfriend. Like I guess
they all met down there driving separately because they're going
I don't know what I was thinking, but I wasn't
thinking she was by herself. So I didn't find out
till the next day. So she got home.
Speaker 2: My god, are you so happy she didn't tell you?
Because I write, how would you have slept knowing she's driving.
Speaker 1: I knew that she wasn't drinking and she wasn't going
to do anything. And because I knew, she said, I'm driving,
so I'm not going to be drinking at all. Yeah,
but she can't. So the next morning I was going
to go to breakfast with her. I ended up taking
her and Sadie and Xander to breakfast. And I only
found out like in the morning. I was like, wow,
where's Lizzie, Like where's Lizzie so? And she was like,
I wasn't with Lizzie. And I was like, oh, who
did you go with? And she goes, I just went
by myself. And that's when I was like, I'll be
what what I cannot I? Oh my god, I cannot
believe she did that.
Speaker 2: And to drive home from San Diego at midnight, I
mean it probably took two hours because there's no traffic.
Speaker 1: Two and a half maybe maybe less, no, less less,
that's still crazy exactly two hours? Wow, wow God.
Speaker 2: I mean, if she loves it that much, it'd be
so great if she could get into like concert promotions.
I mean, because if you're loving it that much, you
want to hire someone like Elbie who knows everything about everything,
wants to go to all the shows, wants to.
Speaker 1: Like just be in it in the environment. That's amazing. Well,
remember I told you she applied for an internship at Insomniac,
which is yeah, copy that puts on all these shows.
But then she was too nervous to walk in there
and give her give a resume, yeah flight online. Yeah,
I get it. They'll never know how cute you are,
Like you don't walk in there. And she was like, mom,
it's just not nobody does that. What if she's like,
you're like, put on your.
Speaker 2: Rave outfit, walk in there and just be like, oh sorry,
I just got back from a rave.
Speaker 1: I just want to hand this in totally. I mean,
they would have to hire her just based on that list. Yeah,
that's so funny, douse, Bella. Is Bella still like auditioning
for stuff?
Speaker 2: No, she actually told so she hasn't an agent that
is for acting and voiceovers. But this agent is more
for like eighteen and under and Bella's like twenty one.
But they're kind of like friends of friends, so they're like, well,
we'll send you out, you know, for things that we have.
So she's not a doesn't have a full on like
acting agent where she's going on a million auditions, but
she does get acting auditions, but she said, I'm can
I you know, they call it booking out for the
whole time that she's in London, and so they're like, yes,
book out, Go enjoy yourselves and we're not.
Speaker 1: Going to send you anything. Just go have fun. And
so she's not auditioning right now. I feel like she
would want to maybe audition for some local like some
plays in London.
Speaker 2: In London, not really because you know, you have to rehearse,
right and then you have to do the shows. And
if they're like, well we're rehearsing now for a January
show or whatever, she can't really do that. And I
don't even know where you'd begin trying to find the
shows besides online. And just like you've been auditioning your
entire life, and you've been in shows your entire life,
like just go enjoy, because she wouldn't be able to
really enjoy the full experience if she was in a show,
then she wouldn't be able to go away on the weekends,
and she wouldn't be able to, like, you know, just
enjoy the friends she's meeting and go to pubs, like
you know, she's going to like pubs and like just
living trying to like live like the London life, you know,
to certain extent.
Speaker 1: And so she wouldn't be able to.
Speaker 2: Because if you're in a show, you're rehearsing seven days
a week, and it's NonStop, and it's seven to eleven
pm every single night, and then you're there all day
Saturdays and Sundays, and then forget tech rehearsal.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's just you know, you know, you've done
all that with LB and the kids and stuff.
Speaker 2: So she have like a fake accent, yet could you
imagine she's like mom she starts calling.
Speaker 1: Me, Mommy, I've got to take the lift. Yeah exactly,
I'm in the tube.
Speaker 2: Not at all actually, because you know, she's around all Americans,
right for the most part, right, right's going to come
home for Christmas, or she's saying she's done.
Speaker 1: She comes home in December because it's just a semester.
Oh yeah, that's like a short semester. August to December.
It's like a typical semester. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Wow, she just flies by, I know. So we'll go
out there in November and then two weeks later she's home.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but she loves it. She's like, she's so cute.
She sent a text She's like, thank you guys so
much for letting me come here. I love it here.
I'm so happy. Like she's like, I could live here.
She loves it so much. She just loves it. She's
just such a positive kid though. In general, she's just
like when she went to New York, she was like,
I'm a New Yorker. I want to live in New York. Yes,
I tell yeah.
Speaker 2: She's Elvi's the same way, Like they're just she was
born with eyes wide open for the world, and she's
just like I just want to see and experience everything,
and everything is magical and amazing. She's got rose colored glasses.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, let's let's take a moment to talk about
her hers because everywhere you look and case in point
last week, people are talking about those GLP ones, right
and I'm very seriously considering, I mean thanked about it
last week and everybody gave me so much positive reinforcement
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and plan purchased. I had to say that, Yeah, So.
Speaker 2: Any anything new with Sophie, Okay, let's see so Sophie
applied to her school, the one she wants to go
to early decision.
Speaker 1: Okay, so I'm excited about that.
Speaker 2: I wish we could just find out so we could
just stop the rest of the applications if she gets in,
because it's.
Speaker 1: Such a pain in the ass.
Speaker 2: When are they So, when did they tell you? Early December?
Sometime in December?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 2: She looked it up and it said late December. But
I don't know how that works if everybody's on vacation.
Speaker 1: Around the holiday.
Speaker 2: So I don't know if it's like mid December or
like when everybody gets back from holidays. Actually I don't
really know, but it's in December.
Speaker 1: So she's doing that.
Speaker 2: What else is going on with her? She's same old,
same old.
Speaker 1: She's cheerleading.
Speaker 2: So we're going to all the football games on Friday nights,
which honestly is so cute and like it's really fun.
I mean, our team is, you know, we're not great,
we're all right, but it's more fun to like hang
with all the parents and just chit chat while the
game is going on and watch art girls cheerleading and
so that's fun.
Speaker 1: So she's doing that and kind of same old, same old,
just applying.
Speaker 2: Really, I mean, I feel like applications are like taking
over our lives to a certain extent.
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, really so because Xander and Sadie have
only applied to one school so far. Yeah, so Sophie's
done a bunch. Well, she's done a few, that's the thing.
Speaker 2: No, because like then there's Chapman, which you have to do,
uh supplementals, and you have to do a creative portfolio
because she's she's applying as a creative producing major to Chatman.
Oh wow, yeah, so you have to have some sort
of like portfolio. Honestly, I don't even know. I wish
I knew, but she's like, I have to record something
for it, blah blah blah blah blah. So those she's
still working on. But ones that she can knock out
that have like one supplemental, you know, one extra question.
Those kinds of ones, she can like get those out
of the way. But the ones that are a little
more and like USC has all these you know, when
you're going to creative major, you have you know. So anyway,
so she still has to do all of that. Which
ones did they apply to?
Speaker 1: Xander applied to SDSU. Nice, Okay, he applied to ce soun.
Speaker 2: Okay, great, Okay, I'm so curious what is is she
is Sadie applying with a major or is she just
applying undeclared?
Speaker 1: Does she kind of know? I am not one hundred
percent sure she might have done undeclared? Okay, okay, I.
Speaker 2: Don't even know if you have to apply for the
cal States. I don't know if you have to have
a major when you apply.
Speaker 1: I wants to do some kind of visual arts, yes,
as she should he or something like that, but she's
not gonna, I don't. I think she is trying to
build a portfolio.
Speaker 2: Nice a photography, Yes, that's so awesome. Step Sophie's friend
is applying in photography so like or just just in
general yeah yeah, yeah, so yeah. I think he has
like some sort of portfolio.
Speaker 1: That's so cool. I love that for her.
Speaker 2: I think she would be so I mean she's just
seeing her and how she dresses and her hair and
her makeup.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's just like in her to do something
like that.
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 1: I think she would be so happy. And it's my
kids are not the biggest go getter. I mean Xander
is a go getter. But he told me the other
day he was just like I feel and you know, relatable,
but he's like, I just feel kind of overwhelmed and
sort of stuck. Like he's like, I don't feel motivated.
There's so much stuff I have to do, work and
obligations and the college stuff that I feel like when
I have time to do it, like I don't want
to do it. Well.
Speaker 2: It's also because the college applications are not just sitting
down and filling stuff out. I mean you have to
like we know, you have to write the essay and
then you have to write supplementals and it's like it
takes a lot of brain power and creativity and it's
I would imagine it sounds when you go to sit
down you're just overwhelmed with the.
Speaker 1: Sheer number of things you have to do. And did
you get your transcripts?
Speaker 2: And did you fill out your the sra or whatever
it's called the sra ar where you have to like
put every I don't know if you still have to
do this, but you put every single class you took
and the grade you got in that class, and it's
it sounds overwhelming. So I'm sure for for Xander when
when he says that it's it's real. Those that's real,
you know, and they don't they have school counselors, but
they don't have the extra counselor, right, like helping them,
Like you didn't pay for a counselor this year, right
because they their school has a better like most schools
don't have good.
Speaker 1: Right. They have a program where you have a humbler
who founded the school who sits down with each kid.
You get two different meetings with her, Yeah, and then
she guides everybody along the way, and then there's a
bunch of stuff for parents. But it's still like he's
working on his essays. Yeah, for his piqs. That's okay,
Insight questions for the UC system for anyone who's not familiar,
it's three hundred and fifty word maximum. So it's really
like a question that you have to answer, but you
have to there's a weight you have to gain the system,
Like there's a way to answer those questions that hits
on these like seven things that they're looking for. Which
that woman Melissa that I think I.
Speaker 2: Yes, Sophie used her for her ny USA, Oh and
y I think Laura told me about her Sophie loved her.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so she's the one that Amarol Amarole. That's her name,
Melissa Amarol Ama r A L.
Speaker 2: I think she did like admissions for some league schools.
At one point she was on the admission board for
this and so she knows she's good.
Speaker 1: She knows what they're looking for with the with the
you with because I originally came to her just last year,
just for LB, just for the UC. Okay, she needs
somebody who can help her like home run, Yeah, sees,
because I was not that helpful to her, I think
the first year. Yeah, I was like, you want to
be creative, you want to have a great like a
funny opening line like now, I don't think so. I
think I was dis guided, But.
Speaker 2: That doesn't seem unreasonable that you would want a little creativity,
you would want it to be a little humorous. Like
it's too bad that they're kind of like, nah, don't
go that route because like, Okay, So my friend Andrea
that I was telling you guys about, she's in Wales
right now and she's my best friend. She literally wrote
her college essay about wanting to drive an Oscar Meyer
Wiener truck around the country.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I didn't read it, but that was
her slant.
Speaker 2: And like how you know. And so she ended up
starting out at Boston University in the Honors dorms and
did really well, and then she transferred to Pepperdine with me.
Speaker 1: But it worked for her, I guess, is what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: So I feel like someone who's reading these essays has
got to appreciate that and go finally something different, finally
something funny or you know, right, you.
Speaker 1: Would think, yes, you would think. But I felt like
Elb's first her essays were pretty good and a little
bit quirky. Yeah, she made a couple of jokes, and
then she ended up like taking them out. Yeah, it's
too bad. She had one. I remember that she wrote
an essay about anxiety and about how she got the
treatment for it, you know, being in therapy for it
and doing like the exposure therapy, and she described how
the therapist would have her go into like Starbucks or
Coffee Bean and tea Leaf whatever and order something by herself.
And then I told her that I told her to
put don't worry it was decaf or something, and she
did for a minute, and then she was like she
took it out. I was like, that's freaking funny.
Speaker 2: Though that's really funny. Actually, in Sophie's college essay, she
did keep in a joke. It was a but she's
a creative producing major. She wants to go in to
film in television production, so she did a joke. She
quoted a joke from.
Speaker 1: Anchorman and just kept it in.
Speaker 2: But now that makes a little more sense if she's
going into film production to do something. But for Elvie,
I'm sorry, that's funny, Like why does that need to
get out? And I get that it has to be
more serious, but I don't know.
Speaker 1: I love that. I think that's hilarious. I think she
should have gotten into like more schools the first time around.
I get that. I'm sorry she should have got into
all of the schools.
Speaker 2: It's pretty it's still kind of who takes ten aps
and works twenty hours a week and still gets an
amazing GPA and doesn't get in.
Speaker 1: Those schools read except ridiculous only school. And she took
so many AP's that she she took a year off
of call, shouldn't even have to do a year of college,
took nine AP tests, she took ten AP's. But then
she did end up taking the physics AP test. I
needed it. She took nine AP tests and she I
think she passed at least eight of them.
Speaker 2: I just the fact that she took in high school
ten college level classes enough should be enough for people
to go, yes, we want you in our So only.
Speaker 1: A's and B. She never got a C. And then
she got flat out denied Davis, Like all the crazy
ucs that she applied to Irvine, Davis denied, flat out denied.
I mean, I get that the second time she got
in everywhere, but it's just it was very traumatic. It
was a really traumatic experience. It makes me so mad. Denied, denied, denied,
deny every school.
Speaker 2: But that's just a good example of how are where
the education system is in our country that that's not enough?
How are you work twenty hours a week and took
ten aps and did really well in all of them. Yeah,
that's great, but we also need these ten boxes checked
off for what? Because it's a game. It's so frustrating.
Speaker 1: You sure we think that having a job would be
a bigger deal than it is. And you know, I
was kind of pushing Xander to getting a job because
being not to be that person. But that's going to
look good for college, And then I'm no, who cares.
Speaker 2: It's not even what looks good for college, that's the problem.
Oh no, But are you, you know, president of this
club and that club? And where's your all of your
philanthropic work? Did you start a charity? Have you built
a house in Guatemala?
Speaker 1: But you didn't.
Speaker 2: I mean it's like, I literally it's such a game.
It's such a game. And it personally, I think most
employers would say, we want the kid that worked twenty
hours a week, you know, had responsibility at work, showed
up to work even though they were exhausted from you know,
a really long school week, and still showed up every
day and gave it one hundred and ten percent a
job for three years.
Speaker 1: And I want to see a let.
Speaker 2: Of recommendation from her boss. Yeah, that is going to
show so much character and drive as opposed to you know.
I mean, look, I it's nice to do all the
other things. I'm not, you know, shitting on those, but
I think they need to be weighted exactly the same.
Speaker 1: That's what I want. It's so funny because Xander the
other night was he's been having the worst. You know what,
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in the back, not in the front, but kind of
like in the back, and he kind of is, and
so he's like, what can I do. I'm like, dude,
everybody's doing neutrafl. I don't even know if it works
or not. I know Lynette does it and seems to
like it or did. I don't know if she's still
doing it or not.
Speaker 1: Does she does?
Speaker 2: Yeah, And honestly, people seem to actually like it. And
I swear he's been on it probably two months and
it's definitely grown in. There's no question in mind. I
mean it's not like he's you know, it's perfect, right,
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Xander and I were. I told Xander he was he
was having writer's block about these piqs, And I said,
so there's this website that list has a bunch of
sample piqs that got kids into colleges. Yeah, you got
kids into UC's. And I was like, let's look at
some so the way that you see piq's work, I
have to I prompts.
Speaker 2: Can I pause for one second? If anybody listens to
armchair Expert DAXX and Monica talk about PQ's the I hate,
I don't even want to say.
Speaker 1: It, pussy quivers.
Speaker 2: Okay, they'll always be like PQ's PQ's uh huh. I
don't know if anybody is with me on this one,
but every time you say p IQ, that's.
Speaker 1: All I can think of, just having pussy quivers.
Speaker 2: So if anybody listens to them, you'll be laughing along
with me. But yeah, anyway, I'm sorry. So they have
eight piqs, they have eight prompts. Okay, I have to
choose four of them.
Speaker 1: Okay, got it. So he was looking at some of
the examples, and I swear to god, it's just like
what you're saying. All the samples are like, you know,
how how do you, uh, how does how do you
express leadership or something? Tell us a time where you
showed leadership and it'll just be like, well, there was
this one time that I was in Guatemala building a
house for like, you know, the needy, and you know
one of the people that I was working with, you know,
was having trouble. I mean it was just like that,
like it was all humble brags. Yes, yes, anyway, I'm
I'm from like a really big family. Like there's like
fifteen of us and like they're all we're all adopted
and like you know, and you know, we all have
like disabilities, and we all came from different countries. Yeah,
you came here so together as if we just got
we just got together as a family and decided to
start helping people like in Kuay. I mean, it was
it's like insane. And Xander's like, what am I supposed
to write about? Like I know, being a privileged, like
white middle class kid and you know, I mean it's just.
Speaker 2: Although he could talk about like maybe he already did
like leadership in his band. That's kind of a big deal.
I feel like he's kind of like the outgoing, outspoken
one in the band who probably like.
Speaker 1: Is he did. He picked his topics, which I think
are fine. Is for creative how do you express your
creative side? He's going to talk about having loving comedy
and doing like like improv classes and he was a
little kid, and then eventually doing groundlings, yes, and then
culminating with taking a stand up class. Yeah, and like
having a show. You know, so I think that'll be
like fun for that one and he could like even
include like a couple of jokes or like, you know,
he could be funny. Yeah, yeah, that'll have room to
be funny. And then he's going to do one about
like being trans, and that's because you get to put
one about a big challenge you've faced in your life.
Speaker 2: That's kind of a huge deal. So yeah, I think
it's not he it's not gratuitous or whatever the word is.
Speaker 1: It's not exploative. It's like, oh, let me think of
something I can really you know, yeah, now this is
real life.
Speaker 2: This is what he's had to deal with, and he
doesn't really talk about it much, right, no, ever.
Speaker 1: Not at all. But it is funny because well it's
not funny, it's kind of sad. But it's like you
would think that could be something that could really stand
out in a crowd, but now there's a lot there's
trans kids. And then also you have the people that
are like, yeah, why are there so many trans kids?
It's because of the liberal agenda. All the celebrity is yeah,
it's crazy. Right, So then it's like you wonder if
people are going to be like, oh, another one. Somebody
got to him, somebody made him change, somebody made him trans.
Speaker 2: Like it's his story is so genuinely him, Like, this
isn't someone at twelve years old that was like, Oh,
I'm in middle school and I'm not even.
Speaker 1: Saying people do this, but this is what I don't
watch a ton of anime and like from.
Speaker 2: The outside in, I think a lot of people say,
oh god, it's a fat everybody's doing it. You know,
this isn't like Xander being in middle school and being like,
I want to be different, so let me do this.
Like I know that's how some people think, right that
trans kids Like no Xander from the time he was
I mean, I don't I feel like I tell this
story all the time to people that I'm talked to about,
you know, his story, but the one I will never
forget this when we went to a movie, I probably
said this something I don't even know.
Speaker 1: I don't think.
Speaker 2: So, okay, we all went to a movie, all the
kids everything. Xander was eight at the most. It was
just around the time that he told his second grade class,
you know, to refer to me as he him, and
those kinds of things. We get out of the movie
and everybody's like, oh, I gotta go to the bathroom.
I go to the bathroom, and Xander's like, I got
to go to the bathroom and at eight years old,
he went into the men's bathroom. There is no eight
year old girl in this world that would willingly walk
into a men's bathroom by himself if they didn't truly
feel inside that they were.
Speaker 1: Male, right, Never in a million years. And it was
like be a predator and like attack right exactly, attack
or innocent innocent men. Yeah, yeah exactly.
Speaker 2: But like to me, that was that was so clear
in my mind that this child is one hundred percent
feels like they are a man at eight years old,
And it's like I just want the world to go
to see that and go like, wow, you're right. This
isn't a fad. This isn't something that's cool. This isn't
something thing that Stephanie are like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
you yeah, that's good because you're feeling like a man
go into the men's mathom and let's let's really get
you trans let's trans you up. Like, I like, who
what is this narrative that liberal parents are like pushing
this on their children. There is no no eight year
old girl in a millionaires that would walk into a
men's bathroom unless they felt that way about themselves.
Speaker 1: No, parents, Yeah, you were probably with my kids on
your own. Maybe I don't know. I don't remember.
Speaker 2: But it was just very clear and he was very
happy to do it and came out like it was
no big deal. Nobody made a big deal about it.
Speaker 1: All right, let's go. Yeah. Yeah, And I don't I
don't think there's any amount of liberalism, like there's that's
what I'm feel proud. Oh, we're so liberal that we
let our kids just choose their gender. Yeah, you don't
if people don't understand that, we as parents had a
freaking heart attack about it, and we're like, no, like
this is this is the worst thing that could happen.
Who's going like, yes, some sign my kid up for
a No, it's isn't that cool? I have a trans kid?
Speaker 2: Like, what is this is? Like?
Speaker 1: People think that people think it's cool, people think that
liberal people think that other maybe yeah it's some badge
of honor, right, it's not. It's it's not an easy
path for any kid or any family. But when people
if you have an actual trans kid, then you you
would know well, and I think and he's going to
talk about it in speech and debate this year. Oh wow.
And I'm worried for him, But I also think that
he's kind of giving a gift because I would say
that for my people like you, Laura Cecily, people that
my kid has grown up around. Yeah, you know, a transport,
like you know firsthand, like, oh, no, that's a thing. Yes, yes,
you know, Oh that's not just a fad because you've seen, Yes,
somebody who you know, from the time they were a
little kid only wanted to dress in boy clothes one
hundred percent. I mean I remember Laura giving me a
hand me down suit from Danielle. Yes, I remember that
little three piece that was for like a three year old,
little pants and it had a little shirt and then
a little vest vest and he would never take it off. Remember, Yes,
he was so happy. Yeah, and he was like a three.
This was different than when he was like seven and
I bought him a couple of little suits, right, But
this was just Laura was just like, do you think
that the amber would want this? And I was like,
I mean sure, and I put it on his bed
and then he was like and he got so excited,
and it's an a bunch of our family pictures. I
love old beige suit.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: In fact, I told this story.
Speaker 2: So Jamille and I were down in Malibu a couple
months ago and we were sitting at like a bar
area because there was nowhere else to sit. And there
was this man that was living in Tennessee, moved from
LA but like a lot he'd been there twenty years
now and raising his family there. I didn't realize maybe
I should, but Tennessee, I know it's you know, it's
in the South, but you think that it's because of Nashville.
You just think that it's more maybe more middle of
the road. But he said, oh no, no, no, no, no.
Everybody's you know, very conservative, and everybody's going to church.
And the minute you move in, because he's a real
estate agent, so he's like, the minute you move in,
the first thing they ask is what church do you
go to?
Speaker 1: You know, those kinds of things.
Speaker 2: So he was also talking about LGBTQ things and this
and that, and I said, I need to tell you, like,
I have a very good friend whose son is and
I told that exact story about going to the bathroom
and this and that.
Speaker 1: I'm like, that is not a choice, like that is
just something that is within this child. Like I truly
truly believe that.
Speaker 2: And I don't know if you know it made him
think any differently about it, but like I just think
that's such a powerful story. And so for Xander to
tell his story, I think it's powerful.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's going to tell a story about stereotypes and assumptions,
but he's going to include his experience within it, so
it's not going to be like just about him about
me being yeah yeah, which I think is a good
way to attack it, because he doesn't want to like write,
do a whole story about like.
Speaker 2: Well, I remember from way back when the whole idea
was I'm Xander, I'm a boy, Like there's nothing to
talk about, right, I'm just a boy, Like we don't
need to like you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Like he was very much like this is who I am.
Speaker 2: And if the more I taught, it's almost like the
more he talks about it, the less like he put Maddie.
I don't want to speak for him, but Maddie was
one person and Xander I'm Xander, so like I don't
want to keep bringing up that I'm I was somebody else.
Speaker 1: This is who I am kind of thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And so maybe for him, he's like, I don't
need to talk about being trans because I'm just me,
Like this is who I am.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm trying. I don't know if I'm
saying it right, but no, you're totally saying it right.
And that's how he felt. And even I will say
as a parent, like any time I've brought up the
name he had before, he literally flinches, he hates right,
much like, that's not that's not who I am anymore.
That's that's it never was who he was. It never was.
And he figured out what transgender means and what that is,
he was like, oh, well, then that's what I am,
like from beginning, like I've never right, I've never been
a girl, yeah, like never Yeah, Like I wasn't a
girl back then and now I'm a boys. I've always
been who I am, right, And yeah, it's I hope more.
I hope it becomes. I mean with Trump and this
administration and what they're trying to do, and they're trying
to like get rid of the existence of anybody who's different. Yes,
that's true any oppressed groups obviously, but yeah, transgender being
one of them. And it's so insane to me because
it's like you're not going to get rid of like
that is just who people are. I guess I want
to go back into hiding and like band together to
try to like and I guess they just won't have
the same rights as other people for what reason. Like
I will never understand why we're so obsessed with what
people's genitals are, Like who cares? How does like a
trans person person's existence affect anybody else in any way?
And if people want to say, like well sports, you know,
most of the people that say that are not even
directly affect by it. They're just offended by it because
they've been told to be offended by it by like
what's in the news and the things they listen to,
and they're told to be scared of something that's different.
None of the people that are complaining about it have
an actual daughter, like in middle school or high school
that's been defeated by a transgender person and not allowed
to like live their dreams of being, you know, a
basketball star because of one trans person's existence on another team,
right right?
Speaker 2: I mean I just think in general, like whether you
marry a woman or man is marrying a man or whatever.
Speaker 1: It's like it doesn't affect you. Who cares. Now, if
you are in.
Speaker 2: A solo sport, Let's say and there is someone that
you're facing that is, you know, clearly physically you know,
more superior or something that that is a case by
case basis.
Speaker 1: You know that we already have so many rules about that.
They are already measure testosterone those kinds of things. Yeah,
and also have you seen, like, not to be offensive,
but have you seen some of the biological women that
compete in sports, like they're going to be superior to
some of the other women and maybe they were born
with you know, different muscle mass or whatever. There are
women that are very masculine in appearance that are not
trans Like what do you regulate that too? Do you
like nobody who's like extra strong gets to compete? Like
how do you decide that? Yeah? Yeah, the only way
you can decide it is through like as testosterone levels. Yeah,
so if you all meet the criteria, then you know
what I mean, because otherwise you get to a point
where and you've seen this in sports where people start
going crazy talking about like all that person looks like
a man, well, guess what they got tested right, because
that rule is in effect. I don't care. Andrew's not
going to be competing in any sports, so like, whatever
do you want? But it's right, it's and I understand
what you're saying. But it's a weird thing to latch
onto to regulate all people existence over the fact that
your your butt hurt, over the possibility that a high
school kid or even an Olympic person, what do you care?
Let the people in the sport like decide saying that
to you. I know, I stand you're bringing up a
point that many people make, but like whatever, it's all crazy. Yeah,
now we brought this show to a dark place. Friday.
You're going to tell a story about something that happened.
You guys need to tune in for for Friday for sure,
because Julie's got a really good story. Hold on, I'm
looking for my Yeah.
Speaker 2: So I have a kind of a story, yeah, personal
story that I didn't share on the last show that
I got permission from my husband to share on this show.
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, yeah, it's good. Okay, But before we go,
let us say hi to our fabulous friends. Stephanie's stinker
Rinker and Sandra Green and Jennifer Falls and Aaron's the
Dirty Sanchez and Leslie's still coughing. You know that Leslie's
been on this list since like the first since we
first started Patrion. Yeah, that's that. Alicia Ascalante and Kelly
Brandt and Rebecca Lubin and and Gabby and Missy and
Katerina check that, Moller and Valerie, Bubba Fenwick and Polly
We Love your Pancakes and Rita Rocks the Basinette with
Elizabeth Williamson's kids and Nikki call you a girl, and
Dick is frolicking. Sorry, I'm hot. I'm gonna turn theo it.
I'm so hot as soon as the show is over.
And please don't sleep on. Courtney Moore, who is with
I e embroidery and you can check her on Facebook.
They do custom hats, polos, they do like they embroider logos.
Oh nice on stuff. Yeah, and she did a bunch
of stuff for Xander's band that they all went crazy for.
There's pictures of that on my Instagram. Also, my friend
whose name I won't say, writes a medium column medium
dot com called at Unbecoming Stories, and it's about being
married to this crazy marine. Oh yeah, and there's so
many crazy stories in there. Also, The Family Skeptical is
a podcast about raising kids without religion, So if you're
any stripe of non believer, welcome to their podcast. They
put out an episode every three weeks. Will Menfrida Palm
Springs and have you ever been there? No? But I
want to go there. I mean, I've been to Palm
Springs in so long, but next time. Yeah, it's really
really good. And then Marin has Sugar Skull, which is
a small bakery and gift shop on the island of Kawai,
So if you're there check them out. You can also
go to their Instagram page at Sugar Skull eight oh eight.
And if you want to get to Hawaii but you're wondering,
like how do I book my travel? Why not use
waves and wonder travel. That's our friend Christine B. Her
instagram is Travel with Christine B. Or just find her
on our Facebook page. Jacob Crowley my friend. Love this man.
He's giving his shout out for the ACLU, which is
super amazing to give them. They're fighting a lot of
court battles as we speak. They're going to the Supreme
Court they're fighting for our rights, they're fighting for LGBTQ stuff,
they're fighting for immigrants, they're fighting for women's reproductive rights.
So check them out. And then our friend Heather Hoyight,
who I feel like you might have met before, but
I'm not sure, she is giving her shout out to
the Holder Wide Foundation. It was created in honor of
two of the boys who are killed in the Borderline shooting.
Oh god, I know so sad. Sydney. You're close friends
with the Dingmann family, Heather and her daughter Sydney, and
they started the foundation in honor of their son Blake,
And they choose a recipient every year, someone who's been injured,
usually paralyzed from like an off roading accident, and they
give them money to retrofit their homes wowet wheelchairs and
medical care. So to donate, go to Holder h O
L D E R Wide WI d E dot org.
Also Adam Lerner Adam's got a car. Yep, he got you,
he got he got Sophia a car, got me a car.
I'm loving my ID four. Yah. It's so cute. I
like the color and everything. It's really cute and it
drives like a dream and it was way less expensive
than even the car that we were just driving. He'll
find out a deal, he'll do the financing whatever. Adam's
got a car dot com and Ferncandle. That's my friend Kelsey.
She runs this business out of her home. She makes
delicious smelling soy candles like tobacco, sage, lavender, sandalwood. They're
better for the environment. Check her out on Instagram at
Ferncandle or ferncandle dot com. And yeah, I'll do the
rest next week anyway. Thank you so much Julie for
coming in so fun. Love you guys. You're a parent now,
don't f it up. It's good. Many goo