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Speaker 1: I talked to many retirees and I get this one.

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I'm gonna say fifty sixty five percent of the time,

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and it's a different one. They say that retirement, especially

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at first, feels weird. It feels weird, and no one

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really talks about it. It's not that it feels bad,

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not that it's amazing either. It's just strange. It's weird.

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It's almost like something was slightly off that you waited

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for it, you planned for it, you worked so hard

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for decades for it, and then it arrived, and instead

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of pure joy, it felt weird. It felt unfamiliar. And

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it's not that you're ungrateful. I think you're just in

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a transition. And so today I want to talk to

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you about retirement. Why retirement feels weird at first, because

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there really are real reasons for it. I'm marri In Debranski.

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This is life starts at retirement. I produce a retirement

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life style video once a week now a lot of

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there are quite a few reasons why it feels weird,

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but I would say the number one reason is because

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your identity shifts overnight. So for thirty, for forty, maybe

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even some people for fifty, years, no one questioned your identity,

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or you didn't question your identity, and you answered this

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one question consistently. When you met someone, Hi, my name's Maureen,

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and they go, hi, I'm Bob, so what do you do?

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You had an answer, You had an answer. And I

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can remember the first time, I really clearly can the

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first time someone said to me, Hi, I'm Bob. You know,

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nice to meet you, Mareen. What do you do? And

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I stumbled. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't

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at that time. I couldn't say I'm retired. I know,

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it sounded like I was old and useless to say

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I retired, and so I made up, not made up,

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but I sort of said, oh, I used to be

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a sales manager for Yellow Pages. Well that's used to

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be I don't. I didn't do it then, but that's

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what I said because I didn't have an answer, and

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it was I realized then, like your job isn't just

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an income, it's an identity, it's status. Oftentimes for sure,

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it's structure, and it's built in purpose and then just

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one day, for most of us, it just disappears. One

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day that it just disappears. So when someone says hey,

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what do you do? Well, yeah, I don't know. I'm retired,

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And no one really prepares you for that emotional drop.

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Even if you hated your job, even if you were ready, ready, ready, ready,

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there's still that little bit of adjustment when your title vanishes.

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You're no longer like a manager, you're no longer a nurse,

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you're no longer a business owner, a teacher. My sister's

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just about to retire. She works in a few roll home.

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She can no longer say, oh, I work in the

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funeral business. And that's always a conversation starter. Right now,

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after you retire, you're just you and it sounds freeing,

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and it really is in the long run, but it

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also lets you feel different because you have to define

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yourself differently now and that takes time. Number two, this

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one is very very very rarely if ever talked about.

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And I'll say it just takes you a while. I'll

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use the word calm down, But maybe it just takes

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to your system a while to adjust, because when you

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work for decades, oftentimes your nervous system, your body runs

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on urgency. I'll say it has deadlines, it has meetings,

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you have emails, you have schedules, you have problem solving,

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and even if you weren't really stressed constantly, you were activated.

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You always had something. Hirement removes that urgency. It suddenly

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it's like there's no one to bug you, there's no

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one to need anything by nine am, there's no one

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waiting for your decision, there's no fires to put out,

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and your body doesn't instantly know how to relax. At first,

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it can feel like restlessness. Maybe it can feel like boredom,

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even anxiety discomfort, but it's actually your whole entire system recalibrating.

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You're actually coming down from decades of adrenaline, and that

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takes time. Number three, I think is too much. Freedom

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feels unsettling. So we often think that retirement will or

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that freedom sorry will automatically mean more happiness. But here's

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really the truth. Most of us like a bit of structure.

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We like some rhythm, We like knowing what the day holds,

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we like being needed, and when every day is wide open,

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it can feel disorienting. So at first you get up.

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When you first retire, it's like a relief. It's like

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you're on vacation. I love it, I'm on vacation. But

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then all of a sudden, Monday doesn't feel any different

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than Thursday. The weeks blur together, you lose a sense

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of momentum, and after a few months, the lack of

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those edges maybe can feel strange, not wrong, but just unfamiliar.

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Freedom without structure can really feel like we're we're floating,

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like we have nothing like. It's weird until you build anchors.

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Number four. This one is big for me. Right now.

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Your social world changes immediately. Work, whether you enjoyed your

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work or not, work gave you built in connection even

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if you didn't like anybody at work. You saw people,

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you talked, you left, you collaborated, you had something to do.

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Retirement removes that daily interaction overnight, and you don't realize

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how much those micro connections mattered. Maybe it's just a

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hallway chat, maybe it's a hey see tomorrow. Sometimes you

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just kind of complained to each other about what was

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happening at work. But without them, the days really feel quieter,

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and that quiet feels heavier than expected. Doesn't have to

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mean you're lonely. It just means that your social rhythm changed,

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and that rhythm was comforting. And that's why retirement often

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feels weird at first. You don't have that automatic social

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interaction something you have to work on. Number five, and

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this one surprised me. Time feels different. Now, let me explain.

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When you're working, time feels structure. I have a deadline,

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I have projects, I have vacation weeks, I have a quarter,

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I have the end of the year, whatever that might

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look like. But when you retire, time stretches. There's no

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next big promotion you're working on, there's no big project

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that has to close by the end of the year,

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and that really can feel freeing, and often long term

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it does, but it can also feel like is this it? Wow?

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Is this it? And you start becoming aware of more

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time passing. Not in a dramatic way, although that can

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happen too, but often it's just reflective, like, holy cow,

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that is weird. It's different, and that awareness can make

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your retirement feel heavier, maybe at least at first, so

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passing time seems to speed up when you're retired. Number six.

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I did a video recently about the lies, the thirteen

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lies you were told at when you retired, and one

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of them was sort of this, in a roundabout way,

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you expected constant joy. We're told that retirement will bring

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you happiness. Well, yes, but no either. So we're sold

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this belief that retirement is pure bliss. You'll be drinking

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on a golf course, you'll be having traveling, you'll be

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in the sand in the sandy beach all of the time.

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But that real life still happens. So when you feel neutral,

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or when you feel slightly off, or when you feel uncertain,

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or when you have to take out the garbage and

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clean the house and do the laundry again, you think

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that there's something wrong, that retirement shouldn't be that way.

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But transition, which is what retirement is, isn't instant and happiness.

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It's adjustment, and adjustment is rarely glamorous. It's quiet, it's subtle,

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it's gradual. So the good news is, though, and here's

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what really, No one tells you that weird feeling. It fades.

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It fades as you build rhythm, as you create a

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purpose for your new life, as you form new routines,

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as you adjust. But having said that, you need to

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build those new rhythms, you need to create that new purpose,

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you need to form those new routines, and you need

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to adjust, So you have to put yourself out there

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in order for that to change. So retirement doesn't need

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to feel weird forever. It feels uncomfortable often before it

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feels settled and unfamiliar doesn't mean it's wrong, It just

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means it's newire. If retirement felt strange to you at first,

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I'd like to hear in the comments, and I'd like

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to hear honestly what you did to get out of

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that weird feeling. Because the less alone people feel, the

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better it is, and the more you're remarkable, your retirement

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will be. I'm Marie Debranski. This is Life Starts at Retirement.

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I produce a retirement lifestyle video once a week, and

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