Speaker 1: You see, something's going to happen. What's going to happen? What?
Speaker 2: What's up? Everybody?
Speaker 3: Welcome to another episode. So happy to have you here.
Speaker 3: Have a fantastic guest. Kind of met him through mutual friends.
Speaker 2: His name is Nick. He's from the Occult Rejects. Nick.
Speaker 2: How's it going, man?
Speaker 4: Very good, very good, Thank you, thank you for having
Speaker 4: me on. And I was sorry about the issue with
Speaker 4: the originally.
Speaker 2: So it's all good. It's all good.
Speaker 3: You know, things happen when they when they're supposed to happen.
Speaker 3: I feel like, so you know, when you're when you're
Speaker 3: more prepared for certain things, or something maybe happens in
Speaker 3: between the time of.
Speaker 2: That needed to happen.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
Speaker 4: You probably got a calmer moment at nine o'clock in
Speaker 4: the morning, so it might be better.
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe, yeah, a little bit more relaxed.
Speaker 3: Oh man, So if you don't mind, let the listeners
Speaker 3: know who you are, a little bit about yourself in where.
Speaker 2: They can find you and all that stuff.
Speaker 4: Yes, the Occult Rejects podcast that's on Bitch You Rumble
Speaker 4: YouTube and all major podcast right now. Like if you
Speaker 4: were to go check it out now, it's basically like
Speaker 4: a conglomerate of a bunch of people. Not everybody has
Speaker 4: their own podcasts. Some of them are authors, some of
Speaker 4: them like have their own outlets or blogs, but some
Speaker 4: of them are podcasts as well, but as well. But
Speaker 4: it's probably like a group of like I don't know,
Speaker 4: by now, like close to fifteen people, but not everybody
Speaker 4: comes on. It's kind of, you know, we used for
Speaker 4: different topics and different things, but it has kind of
Speaker 4: become like its own eggregor in a sense. So you know,
Speaker 4: that's just you know, you will see other people just
Speaker 4: besides the little core group of the occult rejects.
Speaker 1: You'll see how the show is joining us.
Speaker 4: We cover topics on occultism, paranormal true crime if it
Speaker 4: you know, happens to touch in occultism. Also like a
Speaker 4: lot of like megaliths, like even like science, because I
Speaker 4: do think certain things that we covered in science I
Speaker 4: think is almost kind of like showing you magic. So
Speaker 4: we do, you know, cover a lot.
Speaker 1: Of that type of stuff as well. Nice man, So
Speaker 1: oh you go ahead, go ahead.
Speaker 3: I was just gonna ask you what what got you
Speaker 3: interested in starting the show?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 4: I have to take it back a long time ago
Speaker 4: prior to like twenty ten. Oh wow, oh no, no, no,
Speaker 4: I'm just gonna say that I wasn't podcasting that, but
Speaker 4: I'm just right to take back to around like I
Speaker 4: don't know, two thousand nine, I started to get.
Speaker 1: Into like.
Speaker 4: Conspiracies, and as soon as I got into the stuff,
Speaker 4: it was like a lot of Jordan, Maxwell, Passio, Tasari
Speaker 4: and David like the Project Camelot. You know a lot
Speaker 4: of them sometimes are focus on occultism, a lot of them,
Speaker 4: some of those focused on it a lot, and so
Speaker 4: that interested me, and I guess, you know, like I
Speaker 4: guess all of us the podcast is most of us
Speaker 4: that are into this shit.
Speaker 1: I'm assuming like as we listen to the other people.
Speaker 4: That we you know, we came across before we saw
Speaker 4: a podcasting, you know, like you kind of start like
Speaker 4: looking down, you start researching some of the stuff they
Speaker 4: talk about. And I started getting heavily into just like
Speaker 4: kind of looking into the occultism, the secret societies, and uh,
Speaker 4: you know, It's a few years goes by and like,
Speaker 4: you know, just one day it just hits me. I'm
Speaker 4: like I've been like looking at all this stuff, like
Speaker 4: studying these orders, these names who supposedly started this, where
Speaker 4: the fuck it was?
Speaker 1: This and that?
Speaker 4: And I'm like, I still don't know what the hell
Speaker 4: magic is. I was like, what the I really, I
Speaker 4: still don't understand it. I don't get it. I'm just
Speaker 4: I just know all these names in these places and
Speaker 4: these horrible people.
Speaker 1: Uh So I was like, maybe I.
Speaker 4: Should have start getting it to it myself, well, like
Speaker 4: start reading up on it, like more like actual stuff
Speaker 4: than ocultist would read. And I started to get into
Speaker 4: a few like magic books and started reading them, and
Speaker 4: even I started seeing contradictions between people's stuff, like if
Speaker 4: I remember correctly, you know, if I'm wrong, I'm sorry,
Speaker 4: but I think it was Donald Michael Craig. You had
Speaker 4: like twelve or it's called twelve or thirteen Lessons in
Speaker 4: High Magic, and he had the liber Russian there, which
Speaker 4: is Rush is a it's a prayer that Alista Crowley wrote,
Speaker 4: and I had that that his writing. I think it's
Speaker 4: just a few pages. I forgot whatever, it's the Libra Rush.
Speaker 1: I had that.
Speaker 4: I printed it out and then it was like, this
Speaker 4: isn't the same It's sound in the same order.
Speaker 1: So I was like, wait, you know what the fuck.
Speaker 4: I was like, I guess, like now you even got
Speaker 4: to worry about whose book you're reading. And I was like,
Speaker 4: maybe I should just like see if this place is
Speaker 4: near me. I was in New York, so I was like,
Speaker 4: I'm sure there's probably something out here that I could
Speaker 4: like start going to. And I knew from kind of
Speaker 4: getting into the magic community or the cult community, you know,
Speaker 4: reading books, are joining like Facebook.
Speaker 1: Groups or just you know, watching YouTube videos.
Speaker 4: There were some people that I had, you know, started
Speaker 4: to become friends with, and I was told by somebody
Speaker 4: I knew that was a freemason. They were like, if
Speaker 4: you don't even ball the for occultism or magic, because
Speaker 4: they probably take you forever to get there. They said,
Speaker 4: you know, look into like the OTO, the Golden Dawn Martinists,
Speaker 4: maybe like in one or two other names. And the
Speaker 4: only thing near me that was even an option was
Speaker 4: happened to be the OTO, and it was about twenty
Speaker 4: five minutes away. I know I had mentioned before I
Speaker 4: had rash and I did have some of Crawley's stuff.
Speaker 4: I just before we go forward, I don't put that
Speaker 4: guy up on a pedestal. I'm pretty sure he did
Speaker 4: some fucking twisted, weird shit. But I think when it
Speaker 4: comes to a cultism, he was a genius. And I
Speaker 4: also do think he understood science and the eyeball on
Speaker 4: the brain, and I think they believe it or not.
Speaker 4: I think that's deeply encoded in his work. Uh but
Speaker 4: uh so, I just want to say, like I, I
Speaker 4: honestly would have rather have gone to probably the Golden Dome,
Speaker 4: That's what I was hoping, something like that was a
Speaker 4: little bit more academic school. Yeah, and I was like,
Speaker 4: fuck it, I'll just go with the OTO, I'll go
Speaker 4: check it out. When I found them online wherever I
Speaker 4: found them to contact them, I think they had kind
Speaker 4: of like a calendar that had stuff with like things
Speaker 4: that are coming up, so you could see like if
Speaker 4: you wanted to go or not, or I guess even
Speaker 4: for the members to check out. And I saw that
Speaker 4: they were having a Gnostic mass. They tended to have
Speaker 4: one like every week on the weekends, and I think
Speaker 4: there was one like.
Speaker 1: A few weeks away, and I was like, all right,
Speaker 1: I'll think I'll go to that one.
Speaker 4: And I emailed them because they had a contact and
Speaker 4: told them I wanted to come to the Gnostic mess.
Speaker 4: Then and they were like, oh, just email us that
Speaker 4: day or the day before and let us know. It's like,
Speaker 4: you know, it's already ahead in the future, just let
Speaker 4: us know that. I was like all right, sure, and
Speaker 4: I'm thinking, like, all right, let me see if I
Speaker 4: can find anything about this gnostic mess And I was like, oh,
Speaker 4: there's a video on YouTube. I was like, not bad.
Speaker 4: It was a little weird, it was a little different,
Speaker 4: but I was like I can handle this for sure.
Speaker 4: You not a problem. So then like the day Calmes
Speaker 4: and uh, I send them the email and then they
Speaker 4: descend you directions and everything coming from all multiple areas.
Speaker 1: And uh, I'm like, I'm like reading him.
Speaker 4: He gets weird at first, but then when I explained it,
Speaker 4: you'll be like all right. But like it tells you
Speaker 4: at first, it's like, uh, it gives you the address
Speaker 4: and how to get there. And then it's like, you know,
Speaker 4: there's a park across the street, so go like stand
Speaker 4: over by the benches that over near the park, and
Speaker 4: there should be people over there and somebody will come
Speaker 4: out and get used. And I was like, Yo, what
Speaker 4: the fuck is this? I was like, ooh, this sounds
Speaker 4: sketchy as shit. I was like, why did stand out
Speaker 4: of the fucking said. I'm like, all right, I'm gonna
Speaker 4: go there, and it's twenty minutes twenty five minutes away,
Speaker 4: so I'm like, fuck it, let me just go see
Speaker 4: what's up. I get over in that area, and that
Speaker 4: you do see like a bunch of people kind of
Speaker 4: look like it would look like they're hanging out by
Speaker 4: the park outside the gate, next to the bench, and
Speaker 4: I was like, they all look gothering b all. So
Speaker 4: I'm assuming that's for the fucking oto. So I was like,
Speaker 4: all right, there'll be other people there. You know, I
Speaker 4: won't get kidnapped by myself. There's probably a chance, you know,
Speaker 4: I got a shot, I might get away. So I
Speaker 4: over there, you know, waiting with the other people. And
Speaker 4: then this is when I collecked and I realized what
Speaker 4: the problem was. The the after fact, I realized, this
Speaker 4: is an apartment in the basement of apartment building that
Speaker 4: they rented out that they turned into a temple. It's
Speaker 4: also a gated technically, like a gated building, you can't
Speaker 4: get in that apartment building unless you have the key
Speaker 4: to get in the fucking door. So they have to
Speaker 4: come out and open up the gate to let you in.
Speaker 4: So like, once I realized what was going on there,
Speaker 4: I was like, Okay, this just is weird. But it's
Speaker 4: not weird weird, it's just the situation of the building.
Speaker 4: But I went in and uh, you know, eventually they
Speaker 4: start up the Gnostic mass, and that was a little
Speaker 4: bit different. I will say it was a little bit
Speaker 4: different then it was what was on YouTube. I didn't think.
Speaker 4: It never dawned on me that there might be nudity
Speaker 4: in it, and YouTube can't show nudity. So at some point,
Speaker 4: titties came out, and I was like, oh, what the
Speaker 4: fuck's going on? I don't remember this from YouTube, you know.
Speaker 4: Like I'm standing there, like if you'd like see how
Speaker 4: the Gnostic masses. It's just like two rows of people
Speaker 4: on and like there's like you know, the people that
Speaker 4: are doing it, and I'm just like standing there and
Speaker 4: it's like I'm just like looking. I'm like looking at
Speaker 4: the people next in front of me, and I'm like
Speaker 4: looking to the side and I'm like, yo, it was
Speaker 4: this like eyes wide shut, it's just gonna turn into
Speaker 4: the and I'm like looking around. I'm like, yo, if
Speaker 4: this gets any fucking weirder. I'm getting the fuck out
Speaker 4: of here. I was like, I'm just gonna walk out,
Speaker 4: fuck it. And I'm like looking at him like there's
Speaker 4: gona look like anybody's gonna try to stop me anyway.
Speaker 1: So I know they didn't get weirder.
Speaker 4: Uh, But I I stayed, obviously, I stayed for about
Speaker 4: another five or six years after that. I will say though,
Speaker 4: the next thing I went to after that was not
Speaker 4: actually a Gnostic mass. I think it was like a
Speaker 4: candle fucking a class on candle spelled candle making. But uh, yeah,
Speaker 4: so I mean that that was my first experience I
Speaker 4: went to a Gnostic mass.
Speaker 1: Uh. I ended up like that.
Speaker 4: I did find it interesting again that the nudity or
Speaker 4: the titties just still like throw me off. And it
Speaker 4: was just I don't know, it's just like when you
Speaker 4: start getting into shit like that, you're like, well, you gotta.
Speaker 1: Draw a fun line somewhere. I think, I don't know.
Speaker 4: It was just like, you know, you're talking about magic
Speaker 4: and secret society, and now you got tits out, like
Speaker 4: it's going towards the you know, the the the way
Speaker 4: people already look at it.
Speaker 1: It's fucking weird and perverted. I was like, oh, fuck,
Speaker 1: where are you going there? Like first first ship, but uh,
Speaker 1: the first day there.
Speaker 4: But there was a lot of stuff I had noticed
Speaker 4: on that calendars and you know, classes that they offered,
Speaker 4: stuff on history, stuff on people, stuff on like talismans
Speaker 4: against you know, candle magic. So I was like, all right,
Speaker 4: this things here that I could probably keep coming to.
Speaker 4: And you didn't have to be a member. There's unless
Speaker 4: it's a closed meeting. That's another thing too. You could
Speaker 4: just go off the streets and if at the time
Speaker 4: it was like a fight all donation, you throw five
Speaker 4: bucks in that.
Speaker 1: Fucking cup, they don't give a fuck.
Speaker 4: Who the fuck you will, you know, gonna show it,
Speaker 4: come on it, you know, as long as you don't
Speaker 4: go crazy kill anybody. You know, they're they're trying to
Speaker 4: make money themselves. So you know, like so like I
Speaker 4: didn't have to become a member. I mean I eventually did, obviously,
Speaker 4: but at that time, I was like, all right, I
Speaker 4: could come here and it's like I really don't have
Speaker 4: to get involved to become a member, And there's plenty
Speaker 4: of things that I could probably just get you know,
Speaker 4: learn from. But the main thing for me really was
Speaker 4: actually being around people that practice because I didn't know
Speaker 4: anybody personally, like physically in my own life. I knew
Speaker 4: people from online. So I was like, all right, at
Speaker 4: least I can come here and like someone that everybody
Speaker 4: was completely weird. I was like, I could probably like
Speaker 4: get ideas, learn, bounce things off of people, see what
Speaker 4: works for them, see their experiences. So, you know, like
Speaker 4: I said, I ended up staying for a few degrees.
Speaker 4: I did a few initiations. Eventually I was there for
Speaker 4: about six years. Uh what eventually made me leave? Well,
Speaker 4: COVID came and they closed. They crumbled to the CDC,
Speaker 4: and I was like, that's fucking weird, because, like, you know,
Speaker 4: Jesus has got his doors open. What are you saying,
Speaker 4: Like Jesus is Jesus has got more balls and horse
Speaker 4: You guys go on and on and on on about
Speaker 4: wors a mighty warrior and this motherfucker's dude scared they
Speaker 4: got his doors open for this shit. Come on, man, Oh,
Speaker 4: if you if you have such magicians and witches, why
Speaker 4: don't you just like what's I'm banishing fucking.
Speaker 1: COVID spell on yourself? Like come on, man, like just fucking.
Speaker 4: Stupid, you know, and uh, And then they started going on,
Speaker 4: this is so fucking funny because they use like ninety three.
Speaker 4: It's like a numerical value for like certain things. It's
Speaker 4: used a lot, Like that's even how people will say
Speaker 4: hi and.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah Crowley, he uses ninety three.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 4: And they even sent out an email saying that like
Speaker 4: ninety three percent of the lodge is uncomfortable going there
Speaker 4: unless they're fucking vaccinated. I'm like, that's a fake fucking number,
Speaker 4: because first off, you didn't ask me. He didn't ask Jason,
Speaker 4: you didn't ask Michael, he didn't ask fucking Jordan. So
Speaker 4: I don't know how the fuck that's ninety three fucking percent.
Speaker 4: You just said ninety three. So these fucking clowns and
Speaker 4: these colt minded motherfuckers think it's cute and go along
Speaker 4: with it.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
Speaker 4: And I was like, yo, now you're fucking suggesting vaccinations.
Speaker 1: Get the fuck out of here. I'm not going Yeah, And.
Speaker 4: Then they started doing zoom meetings and I was like,
Speaker 4: you know what, And at this point I probably wasn't
Speaker 4: even going to that lodge for about six months because
Speaker 4: I was just now I wasn't comfortable anyone where I
Speaker 4: had my We'll get into it if we have time
Speaker 4: or if you want to. I had my own magical
Speaker 4: experiences to where I was like, I don't think that
Speaker 4: place emulates where the fuck I'm going or the experiences
Speaker 4: I had. It seems to emulate more of the vices
Speaker 4: of the handcuffs that you need to get rid of
Speaker 4: to have a magical experience. So I really wasn't going
Speaker 4: that much anymore. But then like they started doing these
Speaker 4: zoom meetings. I was like, you know what, I'll it's COVID,
Speaker 4: nothing's open, nothing the fuck to do anyway.
Speaker 1: I'll jump on and listen to these things regardless.
Speaker 4: And I did that for like maybe a few weeks,
Speaker 4: and then like all of a sudden, that George Floyd
Speaker 4: shit happened. No, and they send out a fucking email
Speaker 4: asking if we want to like have like some group
Speaker 4: meaning thing about George Floyd, and I'm like, looking at
Speaker 4: this shit, I'm like, yo, this has nothing to do
Speaker 4: with the oto of magic, and they are like very
Speaker 4: much like you know, if anybody knows how alcoholics anonymous works,
Speaker 4: and I'm sure narcotics Anonymous is the same.
Speaker 1: Shit.
Speaker 4: We're not here to talk about anything except alcohol. We're
Speaker 4: not here to talk about politics, religion. You know, we're
Speaker 4: alcohol and getting sober all that other shit we can't
Speaker 4: really have an opinion on. They're supposed to be the
Speaker 4: same way. So why the fuck are we talking about
Speaker 4: George Floyd? Because like you want to start getting old
Speaker 4: fleamic and do what that will? That motherfucker whatever happened
Speaker 4: to him, I hate to say, it didn't change my
Speaker 4: life or affect me at all, So why the fuck
Speaker 4: are we having a meeting over this? And I was like,
Speaker 4: let me go to this ship for ships and giggles,
Speaker 4: you know, I gotta listen to this fucking silly shit.
Speaker 4: And it turned into like some kumbai a fucking group
Speaker 4: therapy session about like people experiencing racism. I was like,
Speaker 4: you gotta be fucking kidding me. I was like, the
Speaker 4: funniest thing in here is that there's only one motherfucking
Speaker 4: black dude in this lotch to begin with, So like,
Speaker 4: where are we even going with this? Like maybe maybe
Speaker 4: we should acknowledge that, you know, it was just fucking silly.
Speaker 4: I was like, where the fuck one black dude in
Speaker 4: this whole fucking the whole meeting the whole zoom. I'm like,
Speaker 4: this is fucking fun. It was just weirdest shiit to me.
Speaker 4: And I was like, yo, why And then all of
Speaker 4: a sudden, they like want to like push the idea
Speaker 4: of like, oh, does anybody want to like go and protest?
Speaker 4: Maybe we can start, you know, Like I was like, Yo,
Speaker 4: we're gonna go.
Speaker 3: We're not gonna have meetings because of COVID, but we're
Speaker 3: all gonna get together on the street.
Speaker 4: I wanted to say that, but I was like, you know,
Speaker 4: I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut because I was
Speaker 4: gonna be like, yo, so the lodge is fucking closed,
Speaker 4: but you guys want to go out and stand out
Speaker 4: in the streets and around what the fuck.
Speaker 1: Is wrong with you? And I was just like yo.
Speaker 4: I was like never again, and I stopped, uh, stopped
Speaker 4: listening to you know, the emails.
Speaker 1: Everything. I was just I was done.
Speaker 4: And because of that, I was just like, between that
Speaker 4: and having my own magical experience, I was already kind
Speaker 4: of like almost out of like kind of getting out
Speaker 4: of that lifestyle. And I was like, you know, let
Speaker 4: me go back to what I like used to be interested.
Speaker 4: And I was like gonna go back to conspiracies and
Speaker 4: you know this and that, and started going back to
Speaker 4: the stuff that I was into before I got heavily
Speaker 4: into that. And I don't know if it was just
Speaker 4: like me starting to pay attention to the world around
Speaker 4: me instead of like magic and rituals and reading books
Speaker 4: and going to the OTO. I was just like, Yo,
Speaker 4: the cult symbolism and magic is like fucking like rampidly blatant.
Speaker 4: I was like, like, was it always like this or
Speaker 4: did I just not notice? Like did it get bad
Speaker 4: in the last few years. I was like, it's fucking unreal,
Speaker 4: especially politics, I thought, even both sides, Democrats and the Republicans.
Speaker 4: When Trump was going against Biden, I was like, Yo,
Speaker 4: the symbolism when both of them the shit they're saying,
Speaker 4: the numbers are using, I'm like, Yo, this is fucking insane.
Speaker 4: So I was like, yo, I gotta I just started
Speaker 4: a podcast because of like my experiences with the OTO
Speaker 4: and how I saw like, you know, cult symbolism being
Speaker 4: basically just fucking.
Speaker 1: All over the place everywhere.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, then uh yeah, I mean it really just
Speaker 4: it started off with me like talking into a like
Speaker 4: a microphone and recorded myself on the computer. I wasn't
Speaker 4: even using a camera and just releasing it out on
Speaker 4: Sprinker and bit shoot, you know, sit in my kitchen too.
Speaker 4: Now it's you know, something completely different. But it started
Speaker 4: off basically with me, like I was telling you prior
Speaker 4: prior to the show, like how they get you when
Speaker 4: you want to talk about like initiation shit, or like
Speaker 4: certain stuff you're not supposed to repeat just because those
Speaker 4: those books get copyrighted. And like when I first started
Speaker 4: coming out, I covered the degrees.
Speaker 1: You know, they took them down, but.
Speaker 4: Like when I I originally came out, it was like
Speaker 4: trying to I guess I was very mad at the
Speaker 4: OTO because I even feel like they did they lie
Speaker 4: to you, but when it comes to magic, they really
Speaker 4: don't tell you what the fuck it's about. So I think,
Speaker 4: like if you have a magical experience, it might like
Speaker 4: rock your fucking core or even fucking drive your mad
Speaker 4: because you're like, wait, this is magic, Like dying is
Speaker 4: a part of magic.
Speaker 1: Like why did the fuck didn't you tell me that?
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, Like what That's not what
Speaker 4: I thought it was, Like, I don't know, it's just
Speaker 4: hard to explain like you should really tell people like
Speaker 4: what the fuck like is actually gonna happen if you
Speaker 4: do have this experience. And I was just kind of like,
Speaker 4: I guess butt hert over that shit. And uh I
Speaker 4: was kind of very against the OTO. I mean again,
Speaker 4: I don't agree with them now anyway, but uh so
Speaker 4: I did a lot of stuff trying to like I
Speaker 4: guess shit on them and cover a cult symbolism. And
Speaker 4: then eventually, like I started working with somebody lux at
Speaker 4: the time, I probably had him. He was the co
Speaker 4: host for the Occult Rejects like the first year and
Speaker 4: a half, and we like would cover a secret society's
Speaker 4: and a cult symbolism taro and stuff. But uh it's
Speaker 4: basically how like it came to be because of my
Speaker 4: experience in the OTO, realizing I didn't want to be
Speaker 4: there anymore having a magical experience. I just was just like, Yo,
Speaker 4: this ship is fucking all over the world and it's
Speaker 4: like fucking controlling everybody.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I was.
Speaker 4: Like I should probably uh maybe I saw a podcast
Speaker 4: a bit about it.
Speaker 1: It was around the same time too that I like,
Speaker 1: you know, how like that.
Speaker 4: There was probably a fun ton of shows that all
Speaker 4: came out within like the same six months.
Speaker 1: Seem like everybody just had the same idea. I was
Speaker 1: around in that time too, Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, as because I started in the spring of twenty one,
Speaker 3: and like pretty much everybody that I know started around
Speaker 3: that time too, right after COVID, or a lot of
Speaker 3: people started during COVID. But as my podcast kind of
Speaker 3: like came about in the same way. I didn't become
Speaker 3: a member of any group, but I just was like
Speaker 3: I was listening. I was into conspiracy since nine to eleven.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh yeah, yeah, I was thirty.
Speaker 3: I was twelve thirteen when nine to eleven happened, and
Speaker 3: I was watching it on TV in my living room
Speaker 3: when I got home from school, and I remember seeing
Speaker 3: some things that I was just like, this doesn't seem right,
Speaker 3: like why and then the building falling straight down when
Speaker 3: the top of it should have just fallen over, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean. So right then and there, I
Speaker 3: was like, that's weird. But I didn't think too much
Speaker 3: of it. But the more what I and I didn't
Speaker 3: listen to podcasts for I thought podcasts were stupid. I
Speaker 3: was like, who the fuck wants to sit there and
Speaker 3: listen to two people or a group of people, or
Speaker 3: want even one person just like have conversations and talk
Speaker 3: about certain things.
Speaker 2: I was like, I was like, that sounds silly.
Speaker 3: And then in twenty twenty, when nothing was happening and
Speaker 3: the radio was fucking played out and I had the
Speaker 3: same playlist for like two years, I was like, all right,
Speaker 3: let's let's get into some podcasts.
Speaker 2: I guess let's see what this is all about.
Speaker 3: I started listening to podcasts and I found I started
Speaker 3: listening to a lot of conspiracy stuff. And then I
Speaker 3: found through the conspiracy podcasts, I found some paranormal podcasts.
Speaker 3: And I had paranormal experiences growing up, and yeah, I
Speaker 3: had a couple as an adult too, some scary ones.
Speaker 3: And so I was like, you know what I want
Speaker 3: to talk to people about, you know, conspiracies and ghosts
Speaker 3: and fucking Bigfoot and shit like that. I was like, so,
Speaker 3: let's let's just do that. I was like, I'm not
Speaker 3: looking to freaking and somebody one of my friends.
Speaker 2: Were like, what do you think you're going to be
Speaker 2: Joe Rogan?
Speaker 3: And I was like, I'm fucking not even trying for that,
Speaker 3: Like I'm not looking for fame.
Speaker 2: I just want to talk to people like that. I
Speaker 2: just want to talk to people about their experiences with
Speaker 2: all this shit. That's all I want.
Speaker 3: That's because I can't start a conversation with Joe Schmoe
Speaker 3: and them fucking stare at me like I'm fucking retarded.
Speaker 4: You know, I guarantee those people aren't purely happy what
Speaker 4: they're doing anyway.
Speaker 1: I agree.
Speaker 3: But yeah, it's funny too because I get more support
Speaker 3: from people I don't know.
Speaker 1: So well.
Speaker 4: That's even another thing too with the cole Reji. Actually,
Speaker 4: be told you probably two thirds of the people on
Speaker 4: there were fans that eventually I brought onto the show
Speaker 4: and even started the wrong podcast or even sarted the
Speaker 4: wrong podcast. I had two or three people tell me
Speaker 4: they started the podcast because of the show or because
Speaker 4: of me, and then I sort of bringing them on
Speaker 4: and they just became part of the show as well.
Speaker 2: So nice.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it is pretty wild. Hell, actually, yeah, most of
Speaker 4: that show is actually people. They're a good chunk of
Speaker 4: it was people are just listeners. And I was like, goo,
Speaker 4: let's making it happen.
Speaker 3: That's awesome, that's awesome. Good for you, that's that's cool.
Speaker 3: So I don't really know a whole lot of about
Speaker 3: the oto. I've heard it a few times and once
Speaker 3: I like owls, so I have one fucking right here
Speaker 3: on my fucking throat. So once I started hearing about it,
Speaker 3: I was like, uh, it's like literally right after I
Speaker 3: got the the this tattoo that I started hearing more
Speaker 3: and more about it, and I was like, oh, ship,
Speaker 3: maybe I.
Speaker 2: Shouldn't have done that.
Speaker 1: He's controlled.
Speaker 3: Grove. And then and then I've found out that the
Speaker 3: Batman symbol is like a Masonic kind of thing, and
Speaker 3: I was like, fucking a, So now I got a
Speaker 3: fucking tattoo that people are going to be like, oh,
Speaker 3: he's controlled opposition, blah blah, blah blah. He's got an
Speaker 3: owl on his throat and a fucking Batman tattoo on
Speaker 3: his arm, Like fucking how Masonic and fucking occultic?
Speaker 2: Can you get the symbol?
Speaker 4: All my tattoos blatantly a cult? I can't even hide him.
Speaker 4: They are a cult.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so.
Speaker 3: Do you fucking so you go to this this first
Speaker 3: meeting and then you end up becoming yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah when six years later I left, Yeah, so uh
Speaker 5: freaking it's it's in resting how all of this ship
Speaker 5: goes back to like sexual ship.
Speaker 3: Like like you said, like titties started coming out and
Speaker 3: the first time, the first time you you were there.
Speaker 4: You know what's funny is that when I when someoney
Speaker 4: did like I was going to ask to join anyway eventually, Yeah,
Speaker 4: because all this stuff, but it was funny how like
Speaker 4: when somebody mentioned it, I realized that after fact, I
Speaker 4: was like, it's funny. How was the priestess that I
Speaker 4: saw the first time at my ot O meeting? She's
Speaker 4: I saw her titties. Yeah, I just found a way
Speaker 4: the first chick that I saw her tits. So now
Speaker 4: the one asking me, are you going to join? And
Speaker 4: you know, tell me, you know, you take the paperwork,
Speaker 4: I'll sign it for you, and I'm like fox.
Speaker 2: She's like, do you want to see my Yeah, you
Speaker 2: want to see him?
Speaker 1: I was even saw like a pig.
Speaker 4: But I was like, she is like the only one
Speaker 4: here that's kind of even worth looking at, oh ship,
Speaker 4: Well at least at least then she was.
Speaker 1: No. No, I mean that I think of God's gift
Speaker 1: to the world.
Speaker 4: It was it was actually just weird, and it was
Speaker 4: that was old, always a weird and uncomfortable situation to
Speaker 4: the point that when you're there for a while, especially
Speaker 4: if you start taking degrees, they might expect you like,
Speaker 4: you know, would you like to get involved, would you
Speaker 4: like to do something? You know, could you maybe do
Speaker 4: something in the mass, or could you do a class?
Speaker 4: They'll start asking you and like, I I'm normally not
Speaker 4: I don't want to stop being broaded or asked to
Speaker 4: do things, so I'm like, you know what, I know
Speaker 4: it's gonna eventually come.
Speaker 1: I'll just find something to do with myself.
Speaker 4: And they started having like issues with like, you know,
Speaker 4: not people may not always show up or they can't
Speaker 4: always get everybody to do a mass, so they may
Speaker 4: not be able to do it. And a child they
Speaker 4: call a child. There's two of them that are in
Speaker 4: the mass. You're basically one person is represented. You're basically
Speaker 4: representing the pillars of the tree, and one of them
Speaker 4: will hold salt and water and the other one will
Speaker 4: hold an incense burner and incense, and you follow the
Speaker 4: priests and the priestess around throughout the mass. They had
Speaker 4: like a lot of openings for that, and at that
Speaker 4: time they are like basically like as long as you
Speaker 4: can learn what.
Speaker 1: You have to do, you can start doing it.
Speaker 4: At some point you had to get baptized and confirmed
Speaker 4: in order to be able to do it.
Speaker 1: But at first, you know, that's how it was.
Speaker 4: And I was like, yeah, I think somebody was like,
Speaker 4: would you ever be interested in doing it? I think
Speaker 4: because like they were, you know, kind of short handed.
Speaker 4: I was like, yeah, you know what, I'll actually do
Speaker 4: that because like you know, now I'll start getting involved
Speaker 4: and they won't ask me to do anything. And one
Speaker 4: of the reasons why this is sound cheesy, long drawn
Speaker 4: ass story to tell you this is that when you're
Speaker 4: the child, by the time she's get the chick is
Speaker 4: going to take off her shit and take out a tits.
Speaker 4: I'm my backage to her and I'm looking at everybody else.
Speaker 4: So I was like, now I can't actually avoid the
Speaker 4: whole fucking awkward situation. And I'll just sit there with
Speaker 4: my incense and burning on my water and salt and
Speaker 4: she's got a tits out. I don't have to look
Speaker 4: at anything.
Speaker 1: It sounds like fucking cheasy vanilla prove.
Speaker 4: But I was just like it was just fucking weird
Speaker 4: because it's just like, yo, like, now I'm hanging out
Speaker 4: with you after the fact you have your clothes on,
Speaker 4: or like next week I'm gonna be like talking to
Speaker 4: you and like one day you're just gonna be up
Speaker 4: there again with your tits hanging out.
Speaker 1: It was just like fucking weird, you know.
Speaker 4: I was just like, yeah, it's like I hate I
Speaker 4: don't want to look at him either, you mean I
Speaker 4: want to look at me?
Speaker 2: I get it.
Speaker 1: One time enough Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was enough. Believe
Speaker 1: So if you.
Speaker 3: Don't mine, I'd love to hear this, uh, the magical
Speaker 3: experience you had.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I do believe I have crossed the abyss.
Speaker 4: I mean that is something I claim on my own show.
Speaker 4: I do think that is like for a magician if
Speaker 4: they're I hate going into black and white magic, but
Speaker 4: if you're actually trying to do something to better yourself,
Speaker 4: I think that's that's what magic is, is going to
Speaker 4: be crossing the abyss and and having an experience with
Speaker 4: the Source or God or whatever people want to call it.
Speaker 4: I call it God the Source. That's what the magician. Technically,
Speaker 4: that's what a magician is supposed to be doing. There's
Speaker 4: their whole means is supposed to have, you know, become union,
Speaker 4: have union with God and uh I started. I I
Speaker 4: do believe I had that experience across the Abyss and
Speaker 4: pretty much like changed my life and even change the
Speaker 4: way I look at even magic anymore. And the crazy
Speaker 4: thing is, I mean I can go into it too,
Speaker 4: you know I will. But when I had these like
Speaker 4: serious magical experiences, I had one that I think it
Speaker 4: was like getting kind of close there that I actually
Speaker 4: did a ritual like I was doing ritual work and
Speaker 4: it wasn't even anything crazy. I was basically like, people
Speaker 4: may not understand when I say this now, because if
Speaker 4: they don't practice magic, the probably like I don't know
Speaker 4: what the fuck it just said. But I was using
Speaker 4: like I always use the cabalistic tree of Life for
Speaker 4: the most part when I do my rituals, and I
Speaker 4: was working with net SoC or Venus or it was
Speaker 4: kind of more of like a hath or idea, but
Speaker 4: a lot of times I was also using whatever, like
Speaker 4: the God the idea of God in that sphere. So
Speaker 4: a lot of times I near the end wis I
Speaker 4: was doing rituals. A lot of my work was actually
Speaker 4: to God and not actually specific deities anymore.
Speaker 1: It was almost like prayers and theorgy.
Speaker 4: You know, I had kind of a little bit of
Speaker 4: an interesting experience, and then I stopped because I thought
Speaker 4: it was like a little weird. And then eventually I
Speaker 4: was like, you know what, I'll go back into meditating.
Speaker 4: And now what I want to get in to my
Speaker 4: magical experience is this literally was just for meditating.
Speaker 1: No rituals were done or anything. And that was, like, you.
Speaker 4: Know, it blew me away because I was like, yo,
Speaker 4: I didn't even do a ritual and this shit was
Speaker 4: more intense than like anything I've ever experienced. But you know,
Speaker 4: I and another thing I do want to say before
Speaker 4: I forget, and I'm going to get into it though,
Speaker 4: but like you know, the whole death and rebirth, I
Speaker 4: do believe in a sense, and I know it sounds crazy,
Speaker 4: it sounds like a little scary. I'm not saying it
Speaker 4: to get like you know, edgy points or whatever, but
Speaker 4: you know, I do believe that death is actually a
Speaker 4: part of magic. You know, they talk about the death
Speaker 4: and the rebirth. I think it's a little bit more
Speaker 4: literal than people would like to actually think. I mean,
Speaker 4: I remember, even as a child, I would hear stuff
Speaker 4: about like monks of these people that supposedly would be
Speaker 4: able to go into these meditations and would seem as
Speaker 4: if they're dead.
Speaker 1: That shit's real.
Speaker 4: I not that I have done it, but like if
Speaker 4: you were to see the movie flat Liners, that's just
Speaker 4: a cheat code. That's just like instead of going into
Speaker 4: the meditation and spending all this time, I'll just put
Speaker 4: myself out and bring myself back. You're releasing the soul
Speaker 4: from the flesh and you're having an experience in the
Speaker 4: you know, the other world. That's what I actually think
Speaker 4: is happening. So like I I eventually, like when I
Speaker 4: had my experience a lot of times with meditating, I had.
Speaker 1: Like certain basics that I would do. Uh. I'd normally
Speaker 1: was sit in a chair. It had a flat back.
Speaker 4: I made sure that the back was completely flat, and
Speaker 4: I put my hands on my on my legs and
Speaker 4: just keep them straight.
Speaker 1: It's called the god post.
Speaker 4: It's like the easiest way to meditate besea. It's like
Speaker 4: laying on your bed on your back.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 4: I was do something a little bit different than just
Speaker 4: laying on the bed. I'll do this, and I got
Speaker 4: kind of used to it, and so I would meditate
Speaker 4: there and a lot of times, like I always had
Speaker 4: like the same routines that I would go through just
Speaker 4: to kind of like get my I guess my senses
Speaker 4: going or balanced whatever before I would do a ritual.
Speaker 1: But I wasn't gonna do the rich.
Speaker 4: I was just gonna go through my meditations, and so
Speaker 4: I would like sometimes like sit there. And people who
Speaker 4: practice or even witches would probably even do this a lot.
Speaker 1: For meditation.
Speaker 4: You kind of picture like a white light coming down
Speaker 4: into you and then like moving through your body and
Speaker 4: then flowing into the ground or back and forth. You know,
Speaker 4: just stuff like that, or like just like stuff coming
Speaker 4: in and trying to like keep your eyes closed and
Speaker 4: actually envision like a form of your body filling up with.
Speaker 1: White light and then going into the ground. I would
Speaker 1: do that for a while.
Speaker 4: You'll move it up and down, and you know, I've
Speaker 4: said before, and I've heard other people say too, that
Speaker 4: I do believe that when you start getting really good
Speaker 4: at that, from my experience, you could even feel like
Speaker 4: the heat or something as you're visualizing the light moving
Speaker 4: throughout your body. It's gonna sound crazy, but especially in
Speaker 4: my legs, if I have a village, you visualized it
Speaker 4: like I could almost like literally, as I'm picturing the
Speaker 4: light going through my legs, I could almost feel like
Speaker 4: a burning sensation going down my legs.
Speaker 1: As I'm picturing. Wow.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I do think that so you start to
Speaker 4: actually get some like the mind can make the body
Speaker 4: believe that isn't real, you know what I'm saying. So
Speaker 4: I do think that you're almost starting to get to that,
Speaker 4: to there, I mean your mind, if your mind, and
Speaker 4: I'm gonna even say this is how I think a
Speaker 4: lot of conspiracy theories and a bullshit actually take off.
Speaker 1: I hate to say it. Your mind will if it's
Speaker 1: afraid of.
Speaker 4: Something and doesn't understand something, it will fucking lie to
Speaker 4: you and make sense of it just so you can
Speaker 4: preserve your ego and then flip the fuck out. So uh,
Speaker 4: you know, we're just saying how strong the brain is.
Speaker 4: So like I would do that and then like once
Speaker 4: I felt like that that was good, then I would
Speaker 4: start going into my chakras and I would start like
Speaker 4: visualizing and aligning my chakras. I would start trying to
Speaker 4: focus on them for me, and you'll hear other people
Speaker 4: that are into that stuff. For a while, it sounds crazy.
Speaker 4: I always thought it was bullshit too when I first
Speaker 4: started getting into it, But I will shit you not.
Speaker 4: You can steel those motherfuckers. They feel like little spinning
Speaker 4: Tasmanian devils. It's like a little bull like. So I
Speaker 4: would try to focus on them and like kind of
Speaker 4: I don't know. I was just like put pressure on
Speaker 4: them or focus on them for a while and just
Speaker 4: go up and down a little bit. And then there'd
Speaker 4: be times that I I think I got this out
Speaker 4: of a book Hold the Wheels of Time or something
Speaker 4: like that, by energy of Judith or something somebody, the
Speaker 4: lady that was big into chakras, and I think she
Speaker 4: might be like into the lima. So I had her
Speaker 4: book and she would talk about pulling like the top
Speaker 4: one in the bottom one, like trying to visualize that
Speaker 4: to straighten it out, and this and that. So I
Speaker 4: would do stuff like that, and then sometimes I answer
Speaker 4: all that like I would just try to go into
Speaker 4: a meditation either just like let my mind kind of
Speaker 4: like empty out.
Speaker 1: And another thing I want to say for people when.
Speaker 4: They're like, oh, meditating, that sounds like a fucking boring
Speaker 4: and sucks. I don't even think about not thinking about anything.
Speaker 4: That's not gonna happen you try to cut out the
Speaker 4: one hundred, you know, leave yourself with ten voices instead
Speaker 4: of one hundred.
Speaker 1: That's actually like that's progress of meditation for me.
Speaker 4: Meditation normally would actually try to normally focus on.
Speaker 1: One idea and hold on to it and keep going
Speaker 1: with it.
Speaker 4: Believe it or not, a lot of times for like
Speaker 4: magicians or occultists, Like it's not clearing the mind.
Speaker 1: It's like you're using.
Speaker 4: Meditation to try to get lost in an idea and
Speaker 4: thought to figure something out, gain knowledge from it, or
Speaker 4: to get like lost in the image that you're viewing
Speaker 4: with your eyes closed.
Speaker 1: That's my opinion.
Speaker 4: Uh So, like I'm not trying to go completely you know,
Speaker 4: blank in the mind. And at this point I had
Speaker 4: remembered because of the prior, the prior experience I had
Speaker 4: that I said, got like a little weird.
Speaker 1: Just to sum that up real quick.
Speaker 4: It was like all of a sudden, like I had
Speaker 4: my eyes closed and I got like a flash of
Speaker 4: white and it felt like I like stepped into like
Speaker 4: an HDTV and it just looked like I was like
Speaker 4: standing in a pyramid, and I was starting to think
Speaker 4: about like where am I or who am I?
Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, it's like I snapped
Speaker 1: out of it.
Speaker 4: But it was like really weird, and it was like
Speaker 4: so like high definition and grainy and the.
Speaker 1: Colors are almost like thermal cam. It was fucking bizarre, dude.
Speaker 1: It was.
Speaker 4: It was yeah, but it was just like yo, like
Speaker 4: it was so fucking real, and I didn't have my body.
Speaker 4: It was just like I was hovering in the scene.
Speaker 4: So like, you know, that kind of weired me out.
Speaker 4: I was like, all right, maybe I'll calm down with
Speaker 4: the rituals. I'm I'm gonna be totally awesome. I'm like,
Speaker 4: maybe I'm doing something. I don't know what the fuck
Speaker 4: I'm getting into. Ill shit, you not. I was like,
Speaker 4: I don't, I don't know, you know, how to fuck
Speaker 4: do I even know that these rituals are okay that
Speaker 4: I'm even doing, Like, you know, all this shit's going
Speaker 4: through my head.
Speaker 1: So I was like, I'll just stick to basics and
Speaker 1: just meditate. That should be, you know, safe, you would think.
Speaker 4: So. But prior to that one thing that I remembered,
Speaker 4: and I mean, it's my own fault, fucking fault too,
Speaker 4: because I was like, before that experience happened, you know.
Speaker 4: I would sometimes like, if I'll do all that meditating,
Speaker 4: then I'll do my ritual. And then sometimes in the
Speaker 4: middle of the ritual, when I want to do whatever
Speaker 4: I want to do or ask God whatever I want
Speaker 4: to ask God for, what to pray or whatever, I'll
Speaker 4: go through like more meditation again, and sometimes I'll play
Speaker 4: with my chakras. And this time I was pushing on
Speaker 4: the panial one kind of hard, just like holding it.
Speaker 4: That sounds crazy, I'm fuckers pushing on this panial fucking whatever.
Speaker 4: I'm kind of like holding it. You can feel it.
Speaker 4: And for me, I normally it's like I will put
Speaker 4: my eyes up like almost cross eyed, towards my panial gland,
Speaker 4: and it's like as I'm feeling that, but as I'm
Speaker 4: doing that, you can really feel it for me. So
Speaker 4: I was kind of like focusing and pressing on it.
Speaker 4: And I had realized before that explosion of white. When
Speaker 4: I was doing that, it seemed like and if people meditate,
Speaker 4: maybe they'll.
Speaker 1: Get this idea, they'll understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 4: When you close your eyes for a while, I don't
Speaker 4: know if it's maybe because you do get stuck getting
Speaker 4: loose in your head and not so much in the
Speaker 4: outer world. You don't see It's like it will be dark,
Speaker 4: but I feel like ten minutes into a meditation will
Speaker 4: be even.
Speaker 1: Darker with your eyes closed. That that makes sense to anybody.
Speaker 4: When I was pushing on the pineal gland, the dark
Speaker 4: would look like like even darker. It's like almost like
Speaker 4: it was if like black oil was like spelling out
Speaker 4: on a on a dusty black floor, to where it's
Speaker 4: like the black didn't even look like it was that
Speaker 4: dark anymore. It's like something else is even like fucking
Speaker 4: pouring out just fucking black as shit.
Speaker 1: So I remember that. I was like, let me see
Speaker 1: what that was about.
Speaker 4: So I started pushing on, pushing on like fanial gland
Speaker 4: where I was meditating, and I started noticing and like
Speaker 4: this little white piercing white dot and the like just
Speaker 4: starts showing up like like literally like if you had
Speaker 4: like a I guess, like a needle, and the tip
Speaker 4: of it was like burning fucking white ash shit literally
Speaker 4: just like out in the distance. And it's crazy saying
Speaker 4: out in the distance. This is another thing too, with
Speaker 4: this experience. Once I start getting into it, it is
Speaker 4: as if like, even though you're in your head, I
Speaker 4: swear to God, it's like you're seeing a distance. It
Speaker 4: is fucking insane, Like there's depth. Well before the white
Speaker 4: light came, all this black, like I said, was spreading out,
Speaker 4: and it started to look like almost like an oil
Speaker 4: slick where I would have like these very like fluorescent
Speaker 4: rainbow colors kind of like around it. Kind of like
Speaker 4: if you're driving through the street and you see like
Speaker 4: an oils like like in water, and you kind of
Speaker 4: see all like the rainbow and there it started to
Speaker 4: seem like that spreading out and then it got dark
Speaker 4: as fucking Then you see that white light, and I
Speaker 4: kind of like had to like focus on it. As
Speaker 4: crazy as it sounds, it's like it's almost it's like
Speaker 4: whereas visioning it in my eye eyes with my eyes closed,
Speaker 4: it's like I almost kind of had to have like
Speaker 4: my pineal gland like focusing on it and almost have
Speaker 4: like my head focused where I would see it. You know,
Speaker 4: it's hard to explain. It was almost like I had
Speaker 4: to lock onto it. And it's like you all of
Speaker 4: a sudden you need to get it, and you hold
Speaker 4: it and it starts to like come a little bit
Speaker 4: closer and then this white dot. I mean, it looks
Speaker 4: like a blazing fucking star. And I've questioned if that's
Speaker 4: where they even got the name for one of the
Speaker 4: OTO lodges, the blazing Star. The oto it looks like this,
Speaker 4: you know, burning star, and it starts coming a little
Speaker 4: bit closer, and then like a little bit of like
Speaker 4: black from around it looks like it like kind of
Speaker 4: like comes in, it swirls in, and it starts to
Speaker 4: makes it look like an eclipse. And then that's why
Speaker 4: I have like eclipse and all my logos, uh. And
Speaker 4: it starts to get like a little bit closer, and
Speaker 4: all of a sudden, it's just like complete darkness. And
Speaker 4: I just see this fucking eclipse hovering in front of me,
Speaker 4: and I'm like holding my pineal gland the whole time too,
Speaker 4: And then all of a sudden, when I even saw
Speaker 4: the white dot. This is so hard to explain, and
Speaker 4: sometimes I leave it out, but like unfortunately, like he
Speaker 4: explains maybe detail a little bit more. It looks like
Speaker 4: as if like somebody took like a pencil and drew
Speaker 4: like the outline of clouds and then like took that
Speaker 4: and threw it into like blackness, so like if anything
Speaker 4: lit up, you'd see like the the curvatures. It's hard
Speaker 4: to explain, so like you see that kind of like
Speaker 4: around the white light. Yeah, and that's what starts to
Speaker 4: even make it look like it has depth as well,
Speaker 4: because it's almost like you could see that there's something
Speaker 4: in between you know, everything, and it's just like.
Speaker 1: This little burning dot and it looks like all these
Speaker 1: other things.
Speaker 4: So now eventually when it turns into an eclipse at
Speaker 4: some point, I don't know what it is, but it's
Speaker 4: like you start seeing this like these colors flesh around it.
Speaker 4: It almost looks like flames like, and then it starts
Speaker 4: to just turn to basically.
Speaker 1: Dark like dark red or red.
Speaker 4: Now because of me talking about all those like curves
Speaker 4: and shit, when you see those explosions in red, it
Speaker 4: literally almost starts to look like flower of roses blooming again.
Speaker 4: Because I'm saying, all those little curvatures that you would
Speaker 4: see like in the clouds, those are kind of almost
Speaker 4: making the leafs now. It's hard to explain, but like
Speaker 4: it almost looks like literally roses blooming around like an eclipse.
Speaker 4: And that's why I have in one of my logos.
Speaker 4: It's roses around an eclipse. I've even wondered, you know,
Speaker 4: is that you Crowley used the word rose a lot.
Speaker 4: He's you know, he had a girl, but you know
Speaker 4: in his other work he he focused on the rose,
Speaker 4: and you know you have the rosaccrusians. I do wonder
Speaker 4: if this is like a common image that might be
Speaker 4: seen with people for crossing the abyss. But you start
Speaker 4: seeing those things come out, the explosions, and I'm just
Speaker 4: like sitting there looking at it, and I'm not thinking anything.
Speaker 4: I'd be totally honest with you. I'm like sitting here,
Speaker 4: I'm like, yo, this is like a cool, fucking like
Speaker 4: free movie I'm watching right now. Like I'm just like
Speaker 4: assuming that my mind is just like just playing with
Speaker 4: playing around. I guess, I don't know. I'm not really
Speaker 4: taking it too like serious. I just think it's like
Speaker 4: this is fucking cool. Look and it's weird. Let's keep going.
Speaker 4: So like now all of a sud under like geometric
Speaker 4: shapes start like showing up. Oh before the yeah yeah,
Speaker 4: uh wait what happened first? I don't know if it's
Speaker 4: the shapes, I might be getting it screwed up in uh,
Speaker 4: which which things come first, I don't know, after the explosions,
Speaker 4: and all of a sudden, these lines start coming out
Speaker 4: to where it looks like as if the eclipse was spinning,
Speaker 4: and these swirls are coming out and making like a spiral,
Speaker 4: and it's like all these spirals and it's like vibrescent colors.
Speaker 4: And when it first starts to spin, I'm gonna be
Speaker 4: totally honest with you, it looks like a swasticker until
Speaker 4: it starts really picking up and you know, it starts
Speaker 4: to come out like this, you have things coming out
Speaker 4: from the full cardinal direction starting to spin. Keeping it
Speaker 4: realm was.
Speaker 2: A symbol of peace.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, that's what I'm gonna be totally honest
Speaker 1: with you.
Speaker 4: That is one of the things I even say that
Speaker 4: I think it was one of the biggest things that
Speaker 4: that guy pulled off, is that I think he took
Speaker 4: an image or it took a symbol that is an
Speaker 4: image of having an experience with God and fucking perverted
Speaker 4: it and fuck hijacked and if anybody was to use it,
Speaker 4: you can't because it's fuck it's fucked up. But all right,
Speaker 4: so I start to see that it looks like it
Speaker 4: almost like like vibrating, like I don't just stuff coming out.
Speaker 4: It almost looks like it's pulsing out. And then that
Speaker 4: starts to turn into like geometric shapes. It almost looks
Speaker 4: like like tons of hexagrams and just like sacred geometry,
Speaker 4: just like like even flashing towards me, like out of
Speaker 4: the eclipse from the side, and I was just like, yo,
Speaker 4: this is fucking crazy.
Speaker 1: And then.
Speaker 4: That stops and it kind of gets like and at
Speaker 4: this point, like it even feels like like I'm deaf,
Speaker 4: Like I don't even hear anything anymore. It's just like, yeah,
Speaker 4: it's just complete silence. And now all of a sudden,
Speaker 4: and I've explained this a few ways, I'll try to
Speaker 4: hopefully it works. It starts to look like if people like,
Speaker 4: look at my logo. I don't know if you've ever
Speaker 4: seen it looks like two films are real coming out
Speaker 4: the side. If you take away the you know everything
Speaker 4: and just have those squares of images, it starts to
Speaker 4: look like like almost sideways doorways or whatever, these rectangle
Speaker 4: windows floating starts coming out of the eclipse on each side,
Speaker 4: but going really slow. And I've said, like if you
Speaker 4: were in a like train, station or a subway station
Speaker 4: near in the middle of the platform, and say two
Speaker 4: trains were coming down your way, going the same way,
Speaker 4: but going slow, and all you saw was the cart windows.
Speaker 4: That's exactly. You would just be like like all these
Speaker 4: different images and scenes. And then around that time is
Speaker 4: when I'll start to actually start feeling physical shit now
Speaker 4: that they'll stop being physical stuff that comes along with it.
Speaker 4: It will almost start to feel like a fluttering in
Speaker 4: my body. It will start down by my feet and
Speaker 4: it'll like it's gonna sound crazy. I don't know if
Speaker 4: you ever seen like the movie Tron where the guy
Speaker 4: like starts getting like they start zapping them and like
Speaker 4: sucking them into the computer. It's like if they started
Speaker 4: at my feet and started going up, and it's like like,
Speaker 4: I'll start feeling this feeling out at my feet, and
Speaker 4: by the time it gets up to my knees, anything
Speaker 4: below my feet I don't feel anymore. I mean, anything
Speaker 4: below my knees, I don't feel anymore. It feels like
Speaker 4: it's not even there, Like I'm just actually like non
Speaker 4: existent there anymore. And it starts to spread and start
Speaker 4: to go up, and it literally starts to feel.
Speaker 1: Like like you're actually disappearing.
Speaker 4: You don't feel it anymore, but all the energy in
Speaker 4: your body starts to feel like it's starting to compress
Speaker 4: come up here. So now I'm seeing all this stuff
Speaker 4: and like I'm starting to feel this feeling. I'm like, yoh,
Speaker 4: what the fuck is this? And yeah, home wid It
Speaker 4: didn't freak me out because I guess maybe I wasn't
Speaker 4: like too worried about anything serious. So uh, I'm going on,
Speaker 4: you know, I'm feeling that, and then uh, yeah, the
Speaker 4: windows start going and there's there was one time when
Speaker 4: I paid attention to the window and I could get
Speaker 4: into that, but basically like I saw things in there,
Speaker 4: but I really wasn't too like, oh what the fuck
Speaker 4: is that. I'm just like thinking, like I'm just like, so,
Speaker 4: what's gonna come next?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 4: I just really just think it was just like a free, weird,
Speaker 4: you know movie my mind was making up.
Speaker 1: And then yeah, they go.
Speaker 4: Away, and then I started feeling that energy going through
Speaker 4: my body and all of a sudden, it feels like,
Speaker 4: and I've explained this before, it's like maybe if I
Speaker 4: was laying on the beach and like somehow it sounds crazy.
Speaker 4: I cut the soles off on my feet and let
Speaker 4: the water. When the water broke and came up the beach,
Speaker 4: like it would like roll right through you, like go
Speaker 4: through your body, fill you up, and go right out
Speaker 4: out of you. Like literally felt like I was feeling
Speaker 4: a stream of water starting to flutter through me. And
Speaker 4: then all of a sudden, it comes up like up
Speaker 4: to my head and then like right back here where
Speaker 4: the Jews put their hat. It felt like all of
Speaker 4: a sudden, it was just like something was like literally
Speaker 4: like spray.
Speaker 1: A leaking out of my fucking head.
Speaker 4: And as that's happening, there's the clips is the black
Speaker 4: part is starting to separate from the white, and now
Speaker 4: it just looks like this crescent. I got this big,
Speaker 4: like you know, I have this black sphere with this
Speaker 4: white one behind it, and it moved up a little
Speaker 4: bit and I have this big like crescent or like
Speaker 4: fucking cheshire cat fucking smile staring at me, and it's
Speaker 4: getting really fucking bright, and it starts the movie again
Speaker 4: and go away. And as soon as the black sphere
Speaker 4: pulls away from the white one, it's like, all of
Speaker 4: a sudden, like when I was pushing on my pineal gland.
Speaker 4: The whole time, it felt like something like just changed
Speaker 4: and like somehow like changed polarity, and all of a sudden,
Speaker 4: all that pressure came back at me and that white
Speaker 4: light came flying towards like towards me with my eyes
Speaker 4: closed in boom, all of a sudden, it felt like
Speaker 4: I just fucking shot out of the back of my head.
Speaker 4: It felt like I just turned into like a thousand butterflies,
Speaker 4: and my whole vision just felt like like everything was
Speaker 4: just starting to I was getting like pulled and like
Speaker 4: whatever I'm witnessing, my body isn't there, and it's like
Speaker 4: I'm just actually it's gonna sound crazy. I'm like part
Speaker 4: of the fabric of what I'm looking at and all
Speaker 4: and like all I feel just sound crazy, but like
Speaker 4: I really mean it. Like it was a love that
Speaker 4: I could never experience here on earth or I haven't yet.
Speaker 4: It was a feeling that I could never get from drugs.
Speaker 4: It's a feeling I could never get. It's a feeling
Speaker 4: I could never get from loving somebody or you know,
Speaker 4: a wife, a friend of my family, brother.
Speaker 1: Whatever like that.
Speaker 4: It was totally beyond that by a thousand, and it
Speaker 4: just literally felt like my body or my whatever I
Speaker 4: was was just vibrating that feeling, and it's just like
Speaker 4: I'm just like witnessing. It's gonna sound crazy, but a
Speaker 4: lot of the stuff that I saw, I would be like,
Speaker 4: you know, it looks like shit. NASA would show it
Speaker 4: like was just like blackness and just like lights and
Speaker 4: colors and almost like space. And you know, it always
Speaker 4: it ends up all last the bit and then all
Speaker 4: of a sudden, for some reason, I'll start to think
Speaker 4: like where am I or what am I doing or
Speaker 4: what's going on? And as soon as I start thinking
Speaker 4: about that, it fucking comes out of it. And so
Speaker 4: like I came out of it the first time, and
Speaker 4: then I always like all of a sudden, I opened
Speaker 4: up my eyes when I came out of it, and
Speaker 4: I saw it all of a sudden, just having this
Speaker 4: serious well first off as it felt even weird, like
Speaker 4: I actually.
Speaker 1: Felt like there was like something like almost wrong with me,
Speaker 1: like I was.
Speaker 4: It's gonna sound crazy, but another reason why I think
Speaker 4: there's something going on with your soul, because it honestly
Speaker 4: feels like I was an overcharged battery, like I just
Speaker 4: shoved myself back in there and I was like, no,
Speaker 4: I don't want Like it was like I was stuffed
Speaker 4: with too much or something it's hard to explain, like
Speaker 4: I was ready to bust out of my seams again,
Speaker 4: and all of a sudden, all these things start fluttering
Speaker 4: into my mind where it's it's gonna sound crazy, but
Speaker 4: this is something I've said that this has happened to
Speaker 4: me every time I fucked with magic. I'd be honest,
Speaker 4: I fucked with magic for this reason. I will open
Speaker 4: up my eyes and no shit, I never knew prior.
Speaker 4: It's all of a sudden, you just start getting these
Speaker 4: fucking voices or these fucking images in your head, and
Speaker 4: it starts like putting puzzles together, and you start getting
Speaker 4: these ideas or things that you didn't understand. All of
Speaker 4: a sudden, the answer is screaming in your fucking head.
Speaker 4: So like I have for these I don't know how long.
Speaker 4: All I've been doing is studying the occult and you know,
Speaker 4: images tarot, so it's like that's the only shit in
Speaker 4: my head. So everything just starts fucking going together and
Speaker 4: all these things just start and I'm like, what the fuck.
Speaker 4: And then when I started taking into consideration that death
Speaker 4: might actually be real.
Speaker 1: Then it just seemed like.
Speaker 4: You if you actually put that in there, a lot
Speaker 4: of stuff and occultism starts to make more fucking sense,
Speaker 4: I actually think. But so I had that experience. One
Speaker 4: of the things too, from that experience that happens to
Speaker 4: me every time is my pupils will change. One of
Speaker 4: them will get pinned and the other one will get huge.
Speaker 4: I don't know if I don't know if this guy
Speaker 4: has an issue. I had seen one video because people
Speaker 4: were making fun of him or saying, what the fuck's
Speaker 4: up with it? And I made a comment that that
Speaker 4: happens to me when I have a magical experience. And
Speaker 4: then someone's like, oh, he's got so and so problems
Speaker 4: with the Liver King, and he was acting out, going crazy,
Speaker 4: talking shit to Joe Rogan and that motherfucker's got one
Speaker 4: pupil gigantic and the other one's fucking small. And I've
Speaker 4: said before, I said, if you fuck with magic too much,
Speaker 4: you'll end up like Joe Biden and Kanye West. I mean,
Speaker 4: the Liver King was kind of acting like either one
Speaker 4: of them at that point. Maybe he was fucking with magic,
Speaker 4: maybe he was a little bit too out there. And
Speaker 4: he was just fucking you. He wasn't he didn't reacclimate
Speaker 4: to reality yet, and he was just acting silly and stupid.
Speaker 1: But uh, that will happen to me.
Speaker 4: And I even at one point, at one point, I
Speaker 4: ended up fucking around with Magic probably about three times
Speaker 4: in a week. And I will be totally honest with you.
Speaker 4: That put me physically and mentally. I was just like, yo,
Speaker 4: I need to go to the hospital. I think there's
Speaker 4: something wrong with me.
Speaker 1: Oh shit, well that sounds crazy.
Speaker 4: And the shit with my eyes was freaking me out too,
Speaker 4: because it was like, what the fuck is wrong with
Speaker 4: my eyeballs?
Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, why is one gigantic and the other
Speaker 1: one small?
Speaker 4: I was like, it's kind fucking weird, and it felt
Speaker 4: like it felt like I was like again, like I
Speaker 4: felt like somebody like hooked me up to a battery
Speaker 4: charger and now I was like, you gotta one plug me.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna fucking explode. Like I can't even release the energy.
Speaker 4: I know they go fast enough. So I was just
Speaker 4: like even felt uncomfortable. I literally felt like I had
Speaker 4: fucking static electricity. That was another thing, like literally up
Speaker 4: and down my legs. Bro At one point, I was like, yo,
Speaker 4: it's like either it feels like static or it's like,
Speaker 4: you know, am I going crazy?
Speaker 3: Thing?
Speaker 4: I got spiders on me, you know. I was like, oh,
Speaker 4: I gotta get the fuck out of you. I was like, yo,
Speaker 4: I think there's something wrong.
Speaker 1: Yo, my too. That was another thing.
Speaker 4: I was even like before I left, this is crazy,
Speaker 4: but like it was only a few blocks away, but
Speaker 4: like I'm you know, I'm like all fucked up. I
Speaker 4: physically don't feel you know, my legs are even twitching,
Speaker 4: my eyes, you know, my sight he's even like a
Speaker 4: little love. I drove myself to the park and I
Speaker 4: was like, let me just chill out over there and
Speaker 4: walk around. Maybe I'll feel a little bit better. I'm
Speaker 4: walking through the fucking park and it's like, you know,
Speaker 4: I'm like looking down at the distance and you could
Speaker 4: see like somebody would be walking up with their dog,
Speaker 4: and instead of like me seeing them just like walking
Speaker 4: normally with their dog, They're showing up as like light
Speaker 4: shooting out of the ground and then forming into a
Speaker 4: person and their dog, and I'm just like, yo, what
Speaker 4: the fuck.
Speaker 1: I was like, just something wrong with me. So I
Speaker 1: was like, fuck this.
Speaker 4: I drove myself to the hospital ten minutes down the road.
Speaker 4: I was like, yo, I was like, what the fuck
Speaker 4: is wrong. I'll be honest, I was freaked out at first.
Speaker 4: I mean, I'm like, seeing shit, that's not normal. I'm
Speaker 4: having physical issues. I didn't feel good. I went to
Speaker 4: the hospital. They ended up keeping me there for like
Speaker 4: two or three days. Basically said we think you have migraines.
Speaker 4: But the one thing that I thought was interesting is
Speaker 4: that they checked my blood and they did say, uh
Speaker 4: yahemoglobin is jacked up to like sixteen point nine. I
Speaker 4: think it's supposed to be around thirteen or fourteen. They
Speaker 4: had to give me a bag of blood and a
Speaker 4: bag of saline, and then they're like, you know, you
Speaker 4: might want to They had me go to a place
Speaker 4: to where they thought I actually had this issue where
Speaker 4: some people they don't know why the hemoglobin will get
Speaker 4: jacked up and you'll have to go once a month
Speaker 4: to like get blood to kind.
Speaker 1: Of basically thin you out. I'm like, oh my.
Speaker 4: God, Like, who the fuck, how the fuck can you
Speaker 4: get this? I don't have it. Because I went the
Speaker 4: next time and they're like you're good. They're like, you
Speaker 4: don't need anything, come back one more time, just to
Speaker 4: make sure. You know, we think it's probably a fluke.
Speaker 4: It was just a weird thing that happened to you.
Speaker 4: Never happened again. So but something that is interesting, though
Speaker 4: I don't know much about it. I gotta get like
Speaker 4: me and my co host Lie, so we need to
Speaker 4: really like look into it more. But like that issue
Speaker 4: does also involve plasma in your blood, which basically is
Speaker 4: like light. So I do wonder if, like you know,
Speaker 4: when they get into the hole your adrenochrome with that
Speaker 4: type of shit, is there actually something in your blood
Speaker 4: that you're burning up when you're or that you're utilizing,
Speaker 4: you're using or you're depleting or whatever when you have
Speaker 4: a magical experience.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I believe that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but uh so like you know, and then you know,
Speaker 4: eventually believe it. And I took about a month my
Speaker 4: eyes to go back to normal.
Speaker 2: Holy shit.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah, even I was in the hospital for
Speaker 4: three days. And then I think my uh, eye doctor
Speaker 4: because they were like, your eyes seem fine, but this
Speaker 4: isn't normal, so you.
Speaker 1: Should really go see its specialist.
Speaker 4: They're all like, yeah, there's gotta be something that's gotta
Speaker 4: be something here.
Speaker 6: Yo.
Speaker 4: Even when I went to go see this lady, she
Speaker 4: you know, did all these says and she's like, I
Speaker 4: can't tell you what the problem is. And she's like,
Speaker 4: the thing is like your eyesight's fine, like you're seeing
Speaker 4: everything fine, So I can't even tell you, like if
Speaker 4: it's a problem or not. She's and I did say,
Speaker 4: it looked like it got a little bit smaller since
Speaker 4: I've seen her, you know, it got better.
Speaker 1: So she's like, maybe we'll just go back to normal.
Speaker 4: And then I was like, yo, I was like, this
Speaker 4: sound crazy because even when I had this magical experience
Speaker 4: with these last few I don't remember which one it was,
Speaker 4: something started me thinking, oh, it was probably because of
Speaker 4: my eyes getting fucked up. Something started making me thinking
Speaker 4: you gotta look into the eyeballs, like whatever, this is
Speaker 4: like something up with the eyes.
Speaker 1: I have a feeling.
Speaker 4: And I was just like I had asked her. I
Speaker 4: was like, goes these sound crazy? I said, but is
Speaker 4: it possible to where you could like actually look back
Speaker 4: into your brain? You know, is there a wayhere you
Speaker 4: could shine light back there? And then she starts going no.
Speaker 4: She's like she's like no, She's like impossible, for your
Speaker 4: eye to actually turned back there.
Speaker 1: And she's like well, and she's like, well, let me
Speaker 1: like explain to.
Speaker 4: Your real quick how vision works so you can even
Speaker 4: understand why I'm saying that's not possible. And she starts
Speaker 4: drawing like how like the light reflects off of your
Speaker 4: lens and everything, but how it will go back into
Speaker 4: your eye. So she is explaining like you know it
Speaker 4: does reflect actually, but your eye is not turning, and
Speaker 4: she's drawing this thing and I'm like, yo. I was like,
Speaker 4: it's the same fucking thing on my own. Lady, she
Speaker 4: legit drew the fucking basically that as showing me how
Speaker 4: the light reflects off of my eye, my eyelind, my lens,
Speaker 4: and I fucking showed on my tattoo. I said, Yo,
Speaker 4: kind of looks like that, doesn't it. And she's looking
Speaker 4: at that. She's like, she's like, yo, she what's that from?
Speaker 4: I'm into magic and she's looking at me. I say
Speaker 4: A secret society and she's looking at me. She's like yo,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, oh fuck, I totally waited. This lady
Speaker 4: was like what the fuck? I wish I would have
Speaker 4: kept in touch with her, but she was like, do
Speaker 4: you think it's possible you could get the paperwork from
Speaker 4: your hospital about like your old Because I explained to
Speaker 4: the whole thing. I was like, yeah, why, She's like,
Speaker 4: I really like to look at it. And she's like,
Speaker 4: especially like some of the other stuff. She's like, I'm
Speaker 4: very open. She's like, I think, how did she say?
Speaker 4: She's like, I think there's a lot of things out
Speaker 4: there that we can't see her in the stand, but
Speaker 4: it's real.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh shit. I never I never
Speaker 1: got back in touch with her. I ever sent her
Speaker 1: this shit over. But yeah, I totally fucked her up.
Speaker 1: But she saw it.
Speaker 4: She never even finished. She never even finished explaining what
Speaker 4: she was trying to explain because I showed her that shiit.
Speaker 4: He was like yo, what yeah, and then started asking
Speaker 4: me about the paperwork to send the I never did,
Speaker 4: but I was like, yo, I must have got her attention.
Speaker 4: She did even finish what she was saying.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, she was intrigued. Yeah. Yeah, She's like I
Speaker 2: always thought there was something.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, so uh but yeah, I mean that was
Speaker 4: I mean, it was probably quicker than I've told some
Speaker 4: other times. It probably wasn't as a fantastical, but like
Speaker 4: that was like, you know, my magical experiences.
Speaker 1: I do believe that, as crazy as it sounds.
Speaker 4: And again it's not to get brownie points, but I
Speaker 4: do think to have an experience with God, you do
Speaker 4: have to kind of separate the flesh from the soul.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 4: I don't think like God is gonna I mean, I
Speaker 4: believe God is in everything, but I think if you
Speaker 4: really want to go back to the source, you kind
Speaker 4: of have to go to God. God's not coming to you.
Speaker 4: I feel, if I even want to look at it cabalistically,
Speaker 4: it's just the way I look at it. I turned
Speaker 4: my back from God and walked away from him. It
Speaker 4: her you know, He's still there, just waiting for me
Speaker 4: to come back.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think I think he'll put like opportunities for you
Speaker 3: to seek him out.
Speaker 1: Oh, constantly, constantly.
Speaker 2: For I've talked about this on the show.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've talked about this a few times on the
Speaker 3: podcast My Kids. All of a sudden, well, my son
Speaker 3: originally randomly started talking about God, and he started he
Speaker 3: made a TikTok where he posts uh uh scripture like
Speaker 3: just like a pair like the paragraphs out of the
Speaker 3: Bible and stuff. I don't know if he's like doing
Speaker 3: it all the time, but he had He did start
Speaker 3: one and he was talking to me.
Speaker 2: He was talking to me about God and whatnot.
Speaker 3: And I asked him if he believed, and he goes, yeah,
Speaker 3: I do, and and.
Speaker 1: Stuff like that.
Speaker 3: And then all of a sudden, my my daughter is like,
Speaker 3: can I get for Christmas? This is this just this
Speaker 3: past Christmas? She was, can I get a Bible instead
Speaker 3: of an iPad? And I was like, you can definitely
Speaker 3: get a Bible instead of an iPad. But I'm going
Speaker 3: to tell you this right now. Your mother already bought
Speaker 3: you an iPad, so you're getting the iPad either way.
Speaker 3: But like to me, that was like, hey, man, come
Speaker 3: back to me kind of thing, Like, I like, the
Speaker 3: most beneficial the best way to.
Speaker 2: Get to me is through my kids. And that was
Speaker 2: negative or.
Speaker 3: Positive if you want to if you want to get
Speaker 3: to me positively, you do something that's good with my kids.
Speaker 3: You want to get a negative reaction, you do something
Speaker 3: negative with my kids, and you know, then there's a
Speaker 3: possibility that I'll be in jail if you do something
Speaker 3: negative with my kids.
Speaker 4: I definitely know what you mean though, Yeah, definitely definitely
Speaker 4: way to catch at three kids.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it definitely sparked something in me to where I'm
Speaker 3: just like, dude, what is going on? And I'm like
Speaker 3: at the point where now I think I want to
Speaker 3: get baptized. Shit, oh nice, so go for it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, man, I.
Speaker 1: Had to do that.
Speaker 3: It's been an issue for the longest time with me.
Speaker 3: But like like you said, like you're never gonna shut
Speaker 3: your brain completely.
Speaker 2: Off, it would be nice.
Speaker 3: But if you could just focus on something one one thing,
Speaker 3: or even if maybe two things and just kind of
Speaker 3: hone in on that, I think that that would be beneficial.
Speaker 3: And I think nature plays a lot into into being
Speaker 3: able to quiet yourself and to find yourself too. Like
Speaker 3: spent spent connecting yourself to earth, grounding yourself as as beneficial.
Speaker 4: That was one thing, and I swear sometimes I wonder
Speaker 4: if I had anything to do with it. But before
Speaker 4: I started having my magical experiences, I was like severely
Speaker 4: spending a lot of time.
Speaker 1: A like parks or in nature, you know.
Speaker 4: And honestly it was more or less because of the
Speaker 4: whole situation with COVID. I wasn't somebody wanted to be
Speaker 4: stuck inside, So I was like well, like go to
Speaker 4: the parks because like people are too scaredy go there.
Speaker 4: So it's like, you know, it's kind of empty, you know.
Speaker 4: So I was even spending a lot of time just
Speaker 4: even out in nature and shit. So I have actually wondered,
Speaker 4: like did that have anything to do with it? Because
Speaker 4: I'm sure, honestly my experience was probably due to a
Speaker 4: concoction of things that made that happen.
Speaker 3: You know, I'm sure, oh yeah, yeah, this is this
Speaker 3: you're ac cultic knowledge. And then obviously like I think
Speaker 3: that's what I think, tying the nature thing into it,
Speaker 3: and and then you you're just doing it, you know,
Speaker 3: just get get trying to get into that meditation shit,
Speaker 3: and it's like, hey man, you're gonna see some shit.
Speaker 4: No, That's the one thing I will say too, even
Speaker 4: when it comes to like magic, uh, I think sometimes
Speaker 4: like people like if they want to get into it,
Speaker 4: like you know, if you take my experience as you know,
Speaker 4: it's true, you may get answers to God may tell
Speaker 4: you things that were like shit, I wasn't ready for
Speaker 4: that one.
Speaker 2: Bro mm hmm.
Speaker 4: Like you might hear some hard truths that you might
Speaker 4: have to accept, you know, like for me, it rocked
Speaker 4: my world and changed my view of reality. I could
Speaker 4: never go back. It's like a you know, once you
Speaker 4: becomes a pickle, you can't go back.
Speaker 1: It's done.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, you're like, funk, I ain't ship. I Like,
Speaker 4: I'm like, fuck, yo, for real, I really at ship?
Speaker 4: This is unreal and uh yeah no, but you know,
Speaker 4: there was just like for me, it's just like, you know,
Speaker 4: for certain things of my reality, just for me, you know,
Speaker 4: or even just being like, I'll be totally honest what
Speaker 4: it was hard for me to accept. I was like,
Speaker 4: I just had the most beautiful, beyond dreams experience and
Speaker 4: I have to come back here.
Speaker 1: That's not fair. That's I'm like, yo, what did I
Speaker 1: do wrong? Man?
Speaker 2: Like, why did you send?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, is this hell?
Speaker 6: Like?
Speaker 1: But I was just like it's getting very close. It's
Speaker 1: like on the urge.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think what somebody say, Uh, we're like the
Speaker 4: worst part of heaven and the best part of hell.
Speaker 1: We're stuck in between.
Speaker 2: Oh man, purgatory too.
Speaker 3: I don't know what the fuck that would be, but
Speaker 3: that sounds maybe that's you crazy? This could yeah this actually, yeah,
Speaker 3: this could be purgatory.
Speaker 1: Even religious people do wonder that too.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like we're because we're waiting to die essentially, that's
Speaker 3: all we're doing here, so and then from there that's.
Speaker 2: Where we're going to wherever. I don't know.
Speaker 3: There's so there's so many things that, so many different
Speaker 3: things about death that I believe or that I'm like,
Speaker 3: oh well maybe, or that I want to believe, Like
Speaker 3: there's things like for our souls to live on, Like
Speaker 3: I want to believe that.
Speaker 1: Right, I do believe that.
Speaker 4: Actually I was always kind of like iffy about that,
Speaker 4: but from my magical experience, for some reason for me,
Speaker 4: it's just I do believe in reincarnation.
Speaker 3: Yeah, reincarnation scary because then like reincarnation, you don't remember.
Speaker 1: Who you were exactly.
Speaker 4: That's that's that's a scary part of it. I guess
Speaker 4: that's what makes you have to have the journey all
Speaker 4: over again, right, I don't know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the new new lessons to learn and all that ship.
Speaker 3: So I do believe like anger has been anger and
Speaker 3: patience were like I had to overcome anger and learn
Speaker 3: patience is what I think has been my.
Speaker 2: Journey in this life has been.
Speaker 3: And I think talking to a couple of mediums and
Speaker 3: stuff like that. I think that's been what I have
Speaker 3: been supposed to be learning throughout a few lifetimes now,
Speaker 3: and I just haven't gotten there yet.
Speaker 2: So yeah, I mean, who knows, who knows.
Speaker 3: I spent a lot of my life being angry and
Speaker 3: now I'm just more like me fearful.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, Nick man, dude, that was a crazy experience
Speaker 3: that I want to explore more knowledge and into that,
Speaker 3: into that stuff for sure.
Speaker 1: Even rituals and stuff too. I could you know, not.
Speaker 3: Whatever, you know what I'm saying, explain h Yeah, yeah, right,
Speaker 3: but you're definitely I definitely want to have you come
Speaker 3: back on soon.
Speaker 2: So but if you.
Speaker 3: Don't mind, let everybody know one last time where they
Speaker 3: can find you and all all your show and stuff.
Speaker 4: Sure, thank you very much. Uh yeah, the Occult rechecks.
Speaker 4: It's on bit shoot, Rumble, YouTube, all major podcasts.
Speaker 6: Uh.
Speaker 4: Then we do have I forgot to mention it before,
Speaker 4: Occult Research Institute dot org. We do have that website
Speaker 4: that is a lot of the occult rejecks or people
Speaker 4: that we work with that if you're into reading a
Speaker 4: lot of long form reading, a lot of us even
Speaker 4: like scientific paperwork, that somebody's put up there on orgone
Speaker 4: that they've done. You know, there's a lot of reading
Speaker 4: and there might be some videos. You know, we have
Speaker 4: some people that might have added some of their YouTube videos.
Speaker 4: But if you're into reading, there's a lot of information
Speaker 4: on that website and it's free, so check it out.
Speaker 4: Cult Research Institute dot org and the Ocult Rejects on
Speaker 4: the one Major podcast.
Speaker 2: Nice man, Nice.
Speaker 3: One last question I have for you real quick before
Speaker 3: I let you go, is are you finding fulfillment in
Speaker 3: your life doing your podcast and all that stuff?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I actually is going to sound cheesy as hell, but
Speaker 4: after my magical experience, I actually do believe that if
Speaker 4: I was given a gift from God, the only thing
Speaker 4: I should be doing with that is trying to help
Speaker 4: others have the same experience. And part of my podcasting
Speaker 4: is doing that. So yes, it's fulfilling me and I
Speaker 4: do believe I'm doing my will.
Speaker 1: Actually.
Speaker 2: Dope, man, Dope, I like that.
Speaker 1: I like that.
Speaker 3: Well, man, thank you for taking the time to do this.
Speaker 3: I know you didn't want to do it in the morning.
Speaker 1: No, No, it was perfectly fine.
Speaker 4: Get it out of the dam. I'm gonna head to
Speaker 4: the gym. Now woke me up. I'm ready to go curv. Yeah,
Speaker 4: all right, I'm gonna do the same thing.
Speaker 1: I'm also to.
Speaker 2: All right, all right.
Speaker 3: For the listeners, thank you for being here. Please check
Speaker 3: out Nick Show if you haven't already. But other than that,
Speaker 3: please like, follow, share, subscribe, leave a rating and review.
Speaker 3: Those are the freeways to help support the show and
Speaker 3: help it grow. Also, if your podcascher doesn't allow you
Speaker 3: to leave a rating and review, please consider doing so
Speaker 3: on the website where the weird Ones are podcast dot com.
Speaker 2: It is also where you can get merch.
Speaker 3: Much like the shirt behind me, there's a whole bunch
Speaker 3: of other designs, hot sauce, coffee, and supplements.
Speaker 1: Suck him out, okay, yeah, like Iron from New England.
Speaker 1: I was telling you about that. You don't know he
Speaker 1: makes his own hot soss too. No shit, I gotta
Speaker 1: put you in touch with this guy.
Speaker 2: God damn, I'm gonna have to look him up, all right,
Speaker 2: all right?
Speaker 3: Yeah, So other than that, guys, you know the drill,
Speaker 3: question everything, and stay weird.
Speaker 6: Close your runs, look into the darkness, find the blazing story.
Speaker 6: Focus may be called the eclipse. Don't feel that the
Speaker 6: show'll be done, And does
Speaker 1: You the shoes