WEBVTT 1 00:00:02.200 --> 00:00:24.280 You see, something's going to happen. What's going to happen? What? 2 00:00:24.280 --> 00:00:25.160 What's up? Everybody? 3 00:00:25.199 --> 00:00:28.760 Welcome to another episode. So happy to have you here. 4 00:00:29.280 --> 00:00:33.079 Have a fantastic guest. Kind of met him through mutual friends. 5 00:00:33.759 --> 00:00:37.079 His name is Nick. He's from the Occult Rejects. Nick. 6 00:00:37.159 --> 00:00:38.039 How's it going, man? 7 00:00:38.560 --> 00:00:40.759 Very good, very good, Thank you, thank you for having 8 00:00:40.799 --> 00:00:42.840 me on. And I was sorry about the issue with 9 00:00:42.920 --> 00:00:43.679 the originally. 10 00:00:44.280 --> 00:00:47.119 So it's all good. It's all good. 11 00:00:47.719 --> 00:00:50.280 You know, things happen when they when they're supposed to happen. 12 00:00:50.359 --> 00:00:53.320 I feel like, so you know, when you're when you're 13 00:00:53.320 --> 00:00:58.119 more prepared for certain things, or something maybe happens in 14 00:00:58.240 --> 00:00:59.320 between the time of. 15 00:01:01.200 --> 00:01:02.159 That needed to happen. 16 00:01:02.200 --> 00:01:02.799 You know what I mean. 17 00:01:03.039 --> 00:01:05.079 You probably got a calmer moment at nine o'clock in 18 00:01:05.120 --> 00:01:06.159 the morning, so it might be better. 19 00:01:06.840 --> 00:01:08.920 Yeah, maybe, yeah, a little bit more relaxed. 20 00:01:11.000 --> 00:01:15.200 Oh man, So if you don't mind, let the listeners 21 00:01:15.319 --> 00:01:17.920 know who you are, a little bit about yourself in where. 22 00:01:17.760 --> 00:01:19.200 They can find you and all that stuff. 23 00:01:19.319 --> 00:01:23.719 Yes, the Occult Rejects podcast that's on Bitch You Rumble 24 00:01:23.799 --> 00:01:27.959 YouTube and all major podcast right now. Like if you 25 00:01:27.959 --> 00:01:30.439 were to go check it out now, it's basically like 26 00:01:30.439 --> 00:01:33.879 a conglomerate of a bunch of people. Not everybody has 27 00:01:33.920 --> 00:01:36.000 their own podcasts. Some of them are authors, some of 28 00:01:36.000 --> 00:01:38.439 them like have their own outlets or blogs, but some 29 00:01:38.519 --> 00:01:41.799 of them are podcasts as well, but as well. But 30 00:01:42.040 --> 00:01:44.000 it's probably like a group of like I don't know, 31 00:01:44.040 --> 00:01:47.040 by now, like close to fifteen people, but not everybody 32 00:01:47.040 --> 00:01:49.439 comes on. It's kind of, you know, we used for 33 00:01:49.480 --> 00:01:52.040 different topics and different things, but it has kind of 34 00:01:52.079 --> 00:01:56.359 become like its own eggregor in a sense. So you know, 35 00:01:56.439 --> 00:01:59.079 that's just you know, you will see other people just 36 00:01:59.120 --> 00:02:01.799 besides the little core group of the occult rejects. 37 00:02:01.840 --> 00:02:03.280 You'll see how the show is joining us. 38 00:02:03.879 --> 00:02:07.599 We cover topics on occultism, paranormal true crime if it 39 00:02:08.000 --> 00:02:11.520 you know, happens to touch in occultism. Also like a 40 00:02:11.520 --> 00:02:14.439 lot of like megaliths, like even like science, because I 41 00:02:14.479 --> 00:02:17.400 do think certain things that we covered in science I 42 00:02:17.439 --> 00:02:19.960 think is almost kind of like showing you magic. So 43 00:02:20.520 --> 00:02:21.919 we do, you know, cover a lot. 44 00:02:21.759 --> 00:02:26.840 Of that type of stuff as well. Nice man, So 45 00:02:27.240 --> 00:02:28.319 oh you go ahead, go ahead. 46 00:02:28.719 --> 00:02:31.080 I was just gonna ask you what what got you 47 00:02:31.240 --> 00:02:33.560 interested in starting the show? 48 00:02:35.199 --> 00:02:35.840 Uh? 49 00:02:36.159 --> 00:02:38.080 I have to take it back a long time ago 50 00:02:38.280 --> 00:02:41.840 prior to like twenty ten. Oh wow, oh no, no, no, 51 00:02:41.840 --> 00:02:44.439 I'm just gonna say that I wasn't podcasting that, but 52 00:02:44.479 --> 00:02:46.639 I'm just right to take back to around like I 53 00:02:46.639 --> 00:02:49.039 don't know, two thousand nine, I started to get. 54 00:02:48.919 --> 00:02:49.520 Into like. 55 00:02:50.960 --> 00:02:54.120 Conspiracies, and as soon as I got into the stuff, 56 00:02:54.120 --> 00:02:59.439 it was like a lot of Jordan, Maxwell, Passio, Tasari 57 00:02:59.479 --> 00:03:03.120 and David like the Project Camelot. You know a lot 58 00:03:03.159 --> 00:03:07.960 of them sometimes are focus on occultism, a lot of them, 59 00:03:08.120 --> 00:03:10.840 some of those focused on it a lot, and so 60 00:03:10.960 --> 00:03:14.520 that interested me, and I guess, you know, like I 61 00:03:14.520 --> 00:03:16.240 guess all of us the podcast is most of us 62 00:03:16.280 --> 00:03:17.000 that are into this shit. 63 00:03:17.680 --> 00:03:20.240 I'm assuming like as we listen to the other people. 64 00:03:20.240 --> 00:03:22.000 That we you know, we came across before we saw 65 00:03:22.039 --> 00:03:23.599 a podcasting, you know, like you kind of start like 66 00:03:23.639 --> 00:03:25.879 looking down, you start researching some of the stuff they 67 00:03:25.879 --> 00:03:28.400 talk about. And I started getting heavily into just like 68 00:03:28.479 --> 00:03:32.199 kind of looking into the occultism, the secret societies, and uh, 69 00:03:32.960 --> 00:03:35.240 you know, It's a few years goes by and like, 70 00:03:35.520 --> 00:03:37.120 you know, just one day it just hits me. I'm 71 00:03:37.120 --> 00:03:39.240 like I've been like looking at all this stuff, like 72 00:03:39.280 --> 00:03:43.800 studying these orders, these names who supposedly started this, where 73 00:03:43.800 --> 00:03:44.400 the fuck it was? 74 00:03:44.439 --> 00:03:44.800 This and that? 75 00:03:44.879 --> 00:03:46.840 And I'm like, I still don't know what the hell 76 00:03:46.960 --> 00:03:49.719 magic is. I was like, what the I really, I 77 00:03:49.759 --> 00:03:51.560 still don't understand it. I don't get it. I'm just 78 00:03:51.599 --> 00:03:53.280 I just know all these names in these places and 79 00:03:53.319 --> 00:03:54.520 these horrible people. 80 00:03:55.280 --> 00:03:57.479 Uh So I was like, maybe I. 81 00:03:57.439 --> 00:04:00.800 Should have start getting it to it myself, well, like 82 00:04:00.840 --> 00:04:03.400 start reading up on it, like more like actual stuff 83 00:04:03.400 --> 00:04:06.479 than ocultist would read. And I started to get into 84 00:04:07.000 --> 00:04:09.719 a few like magic books and started reading them, and 85 00:04:10.639 --> 00:04:16.079 even I started seeing contradictions between people's stuff, like if 86 00:04:16.160 --> 00:04:18.439 I remember correctly, you know, if I'm wrong, I'm sorry, 87 00:04:18.480 --> 00:04:20.199 but I think it was Donald Michael Craig. You had 88 00:04:20.240 --> 00:04:22.720 like twelve or it's called twelve or thirteen Lessons in 89 00:04:22.800 --> 00:04:26.199 High Magic, and he had the liber Russian there, which 90 00:04:26.279 --> 00:04:29.879 is Rush is a it's a prayer that Alista Crowley wrote, 91 00:04:30.480 --> 00:04:33.680 and I had that that his writing. I think it's 92 00:04:33.680 --> 00:04:35.639 just a few pages. I forgot whatever, it's the Libra Rush. 93 00:04:36.279 --> 00:04:36.759 I had that. 94 00:04:37.000 --> 00:04:38.879 I printed it out and then it was like, this 95 00:04:38.920 --> 00:04:40.480 isn't the same It's sound in the same order. 96 00:04:41.040 --> 00:04:42.160 So I was like, wait, you know what the fuck. 97 00:04:42.199 --> 00:04:43.600 I was like, I guess, like now you even got 98 00:04:43.639 --> 00:04:46.560 to worry about whose book you're reading. And I was like, 99 00:04:46.600 --> 00:04:49.480 maybe I should just like see if this place is 100 00:04:49.600 --> 00:04:51.759 near me. I was in New York, so I was like, 101 00:04:51.759 --> 00:04:54.759 I'm sure there's probably something out here that I could 102 00:04:54.800 --> 00:04:58.240 like start going to. And I knew from kind of 103 00:04:58.240 --> 00:05:01.040 getting into the magic community or the cult community, you know, 104 00:05:01.079 --> 00:05:03.040 reading books, are joining like Facebook. 105 00:05:02.680 --> 00:05:05.439 Groups or just you know, watching YouTube videos. 106 00:05:07.040 --> 00:05:08.680 There were some people that I had, you know, started 107 00:05:08.680 --> 00:05:10.720 to become friends with, and I was told by somebody 108 00:05:10.720 --> 00:05:12.439 I knew that was a freemason. They were like, if 109 00:05:12.519 --> 00:05:15.439 you don't even ball the for occultism or magic, because 110 00:05:15.439 --> 00:05:18.279 they probably take you forever to get there. They said, 111 00:05:18.279 --> 00:05:21.839 you know, look into like the OTO, the Golden Dawn Martinists, 112 00:05:22.839 --> 00:05:25.439 maybe like in one or two other names. And the 113 00:05:25.480 --> 00:05:28.920 only thing near me that was even an option was 114 00:05:29.399 --> 00:05:32.439 happened to be the OTO, and it was about twenty 115 00:05:32.439 --> 00:05:35.639 five minutes away. I know I had mentioned before I 116 00:05:35.720 --> 00:05:37.600 had rash and I did have some of Crawley's stuff. 117 00:05:38.360 --> 00:05:41.639 I just before we go forward, I don't put that 118 00:05:41.639 --> 00:05:43.319 guy up on a pedestal. I'm pretty sure he did 119 00:05:43.319 --> 00:05:45.879 some fucking twisted, weird shit. But I think when it 120 00:05:45.879 --> 00:05:48.839 comes to a cultism, he was a genius. And I 121 00:05:48.879 --> 00:05:52.439 also do think he understood science and the eyeball on 122 00:05:52.439 --> 00:05:53.959 the brain, and I think they believe it or not. 123 00:05:54.040 --> 00:05:57.399 I think that's deeply encoded in his work. Uh but 124 00:05:58.120 --> 00:06:00.600 uh so, I just want to say, like I, I 125 00:06:00.720 --> 00:06:03.120 honestly would have rather have gone to probably the Golden Dome, 126 00:06:03.160 --> 00:06:04.680 That's what I was hoping, something like that was a 127 00:06:04.680 --> 00:06:09.199 little bit more academic school. Yeah, and I was like, 128 00:06:09.240 --> 00:06:11.360 fuck it, I'll just go with the OTO, I'll go 129 00:06:11.439 --> 00:06:16.639 check it out. When I found them online wherever I 130 00:06:16.639 --> 00:06:18.560 found them to contact them, I think they had kind 131 00:06:18.560 --> 00:06:21.040 of like a calendar that had stuff with like things 132 00:06:21.040 --> 00:06:22.519 that are coming up, so you could see like if 133 00:06:22.519 --> 00:06:23.920 you wanted to go or not, or I guess even 134 00:06:23.920 --> 00:06:26.079 for the members to check out. And I saw that 135 00:06:26.079 --> 00:06:28.319 they were having a Gnostic mass. They tended to have 136 00:06:28.360 --> 00:06:30.680 one like every week on the weekends, and I think 137 00:06:30.680 --> 00:06:31.279 there was one like. 138 00:06:31.199 --> 00:06:32.560 A few weeks away, and I was like, all right, 139 00:06:32.560 --> 00:06:33.600 I'll think I'll go to that one. 140 00:06:34.160 --> 00:06:36.199 And I emailed them because they had a contact and 141 00:06:36.240 --> 00:06:38.000 told them I wanted to come to the Gnostic mess. 142 00:06:38.000 --> 00:06:39.600 Then and they were like, oh, just email us that 143 00:06:39.720 --> 00:06:41.759 day or the day before and let us know. It's like, 144 00:06:41.800 --> 00:06:43.680 you know, it's already ahead in the future, just let 145 00:06:43.759 --> 00:06:46.079 us know that. I was like all right, sure, and 146 00:06:46.120 --> 00:06:47.399 I'm thinking, like, all right, let me see if I 147 00:06:47.399 --> 00:06:49.759 can find anything about this gnostic mess And I was like, oh, 148 00:06:49.800 --> 00:06:51.959 there's a video on YouTube. I was like, not bad. 149 00:06:52.639 --> 00:06:54.000 It was a little weird, it was a little different, 150 00:06:54.000 --> 00:06:55.600 but I was like I can handle this for sure. 151 00:06:55.639 --> 00:06:59.240 You not a problem. So then like the day Calmes 152 00:07:01.000 --> 00:07:03.720 and uh, I send them the email and then they 153 00:07:03.720 --> 00:07:07.560 descend you directions and everything coming from all multiple areas. 154 00:07:07.759 --> 00:07:09.680 And uh, I'm like, I'm like reading him. 155 00:07:10.360 --> 00:07:12.879 He gets weird at first, but then when I explained it, 156 00:07:12.920 --> 00:07:14.879 you'll be like all right. But like it tells you 157 00:07:15.000 --> 00:07:17.199 at first, it's like, uh, it gives you the address 158 00:07:17.240 --> 00:07:18.480 and how to get there. And then it's like, you know, 159 00:07:18.519 --> 00:07:21.720 there's a park across the street, so go like stand 160 00:07:21.720 --> 00:07:23.560 over by the benches that over near the park, and 161 00:07:23.560 --> 00:07:25.160 there should be people over there and somebody will come 162 00:07:25.160 --> 00:07:26.680 out and get used. And I was like, Yo, what 163 00:07:26.720 --> 00:07:29.680 the fuck is this? I was like, ooh, this sounds 164 00:07:29.720 --> 00:07:32.319 sketchy as shit. I was like, why did stand out 165 00:07:32.319 --> 00:07:34.759 of the fucking said. I'm like, all right, I'm gonna 166 00:07:34.759 --> 00:07:36.560 go there, and it's twenty minutes twenty five minutes away, 167 00:07:36.560 --> 00:07:37.759 so I'm like, fuck it, let me just go see 168 00:07:37.759 --> 00:07:40.120 what's up. I get over in that area, and that 169 00:07:40.240 --> 00:07:41.720 you do see like a bunch of people kind of 170 00:07:41.720 --> 00:07:43.600 look like it would look like they're hanging out by 171 00:07:43.639 --> 00:07:45.959 the park outside the gate, next to the bench, and 172 00:07:46.000 --> 00:07:47.839 I was like, they all look gothering b all. So 173 00:07:47.839 --> 00:07:51.480 I'm assuming that's for the fucking oto. So I was like, 174 00:07:51.519 --> 00:07:53.240 all right, there'll be other people there. You know, I 175 00:07:53.240 --> 00:07:56.000 won't get kidnapped by myself. There's probably a chance, you know, 176 00:07:56.040 --> 00:07:59.600 I got a shot, I might get away. So I 177 00:08:00.279 --> 00:08:02.480 over there, you know, waiting with the other people. And 178 00:08:02.920 --> 00:08:04.680 then this is when I collecked and I realized what 179 00:08:04.720 --> 00:08:08.879 the problem was. The the after fact, I realized, this 180 00:08:08.959 --> 00:08:12.439 is an apartment in the basement of apartment building that 181 00:08:12.480 --> 00:08:15.800 they rented out that they turned into a temple. It's 182 00:08:15.839 --> 00:08:19.439 also a gated technically, like a gated building, you can't 183 00:08:19.439 --> 00:08:21.360 get in that apartment building unless you have the key 184 00:08:21.399 --> 00:08:24.519 to get in the fucking door. So they have to 185 00:08:24.560 --> 00:08:26.360 come out and open up the gate to let you in. 186 00:08:26.800 --> 00:08:28.800 So like, once I realized what was going on there, 187 00:08:28.800 --> 00:08:31.079 I was like, Okay, this just is weird. But it's 188 00:08:31.120 --> 00:08:33.559 not weird weird, it's just the situation of the building. 189 00:08:34.399 --> 00:08:37.360 But I went in and uh, you know, eventually they 190 00:08:37.360 --> 00:08:40.759 start up the Gnostic mass, and that was a little 191 00:08:40.759 --> 00:08:42.360 bit different. I will say it was a little bit 192 00:08:42.360 --> 00:08:45.279 different then it was what was on YouTube. I didn't think. 193 00:08:45.360 --> 00:08:47.320 It never dawned on me that there might be nudity 194 00:08:47.360 --> 00:08:49.960 in it, and YouTube can't show nudity. So at some point, 195 00:08:49.960 --> 00:08:51.440 titties came out, and I was like, oh, what the 196 00:08:51.440 --> 00:08:55.039 fuck's going on? I don't remember this from YouTube, you know. 197 00:08:55.320 --> 00:08:57.240 Like I'm standing there, like if you'd like see how 198 00:08:57.240 --> 00:08:59.759 the Gnostic masses. It's just like two rows of people 199 00:08:59.799 --> 00:09:01.279 on and like there's like you know, the people that 200 00:09:01.320 --> 00:09:03.320 are doing it, and I'm just like standing there and 201 00:09:03.320 --> 00:09:05.080 it's like I'm just like looking. I'm like looking at 202 00:09:05.080 --> 00:09:06.559 the people next in front of me, and I'm like 203 00:09:06.559 --> 00:09:08.159 looking to the side and I'm like, yo, it was 204 00:09:08.200 --> 00:09:11.000 this like eyes wide shut, it's just gonna turn into 205 00:09:11.039 --> 00:09:13.200 the and I'm like looking around. I'm like, yo, if 206 00:09:13.200 --> 00:09:15.279 this gets any fucking weirder. I'm getting the fuck out 207 00:09:15.279 --> 00:09:16.639 of here. I was like, I'm just gonna walk out, 208 00:09:16.679 --> 00:09:18.519 fuck it. And I'm like looking at him like there's 209 00:09:18.519 --> 00:09:20.679 gona look like anybody's gonna try to stop me anyway. 210 00:09:21.759 --> 00:09:23.679 So I know they didn't get weirder. 211 00:09:24.600 --> 00:09:28.000 Uh, But I I stayed, obviously, I stayed for about 212 00:09:28.000 --> 00:09:31.240 another five or six years after that. I will say though, 213 00:09:31.440 --> 00:09:33.080 the next thing I went to after that was not 214 00:09:33.120 --> 00:09:34.600 actually a Gnostic mass. I think it was like a 215 00:09:34.600 --> 00:09:40.600 candle fucking a class on candle spelled candle making. But uh, yeah, 216 00:09:40.639 --> 00:09:42.559 so I mean that that was my first experience I 217 00:09:42.559 --> 00:09:43.840 went to a Gnostic mass. 218 00:09:44.080 --> 00:09:47.039 Uh. I ended up like that. 219 00:09:47.480 --> 00:09:49.600 I did find it interesting again that the nudity or 220 00:09:49.600 --> 00:09:51.360 the titties just still like throw me off. And it 221 00:09:51.440 --> 00:09:53.120 was just I don't know, it's just like when you 222 00:09:53.120 --> 00:09:55.360 start getting into shit like that, you're like, well, you gotta. 223 00:09:55.159 --> 00:09:56.879 Draw a fun line somewhere. I think, I don't know. 224 00:09:57.279 --> 00:09:59.279 It was just like, you know, you're talking about magic 225 00:09:59.279 --> 00:10:01.240 and secret society, and now you got tits out, like 226 00:10:01.440 --> 00:10:05.960 it's going towards the you know, the the the way 227 00:10:05.960 --> 00:10:07.000 people already look at it. 228 00:10:07.000 --> 00:10:08.919 It's fucking weird and perverted. I was like, oh, fuck, 229 00:10:08.919 --> 00:10:12.799 where are you going there? Like first first ship, but uh, 230 00:10:12.919 --> 00:10:13.759 the first day there. 231 00:10:13.799 --> 00:10:15.879 But there was a lot of stuff I had noticed 232 00:10:15.919 --> 00:10:19.000 on that calendars and you know, classes that they offered, 233 00:10:19.000 --> 00:10:22.840 stuff on history, stuff on people, stuff on like talismans 234 00:10:22.879 --> 00:10:25.639 against you know, candle magic. So I was like, all right, 235 00:10:25.679 --> 00:10:28.240 this things here that I could probably keep coming to. 236 00:10:28.320 --> 00:10:30.720 And you didn't have to be a member. There's unless 237 00:10:30.720 --> 00:10:33.039 it's a closed meeting. That's another thing too. You could 238 00:10:33.080 --> 00:10:35.279 just go off the streets and if at the time 239 00:10:35.320 --> 00:10:37.159 it was like a fight all donation, you throw five 240 00:10:37.159 --> 00:10:38.120 bucks in that. 241 00:10:38.080 --> 00:10:39.240 Fucking cup, they don't give a fuck. 242 00:10:39.240 --> 00:10:41.240 Who the fuck you will, you know, gonna show it, 243 00:10:41.279 --> 00:10:42.320 come on it, you know, as long as you don't 244 00:10:42.320 --> 00:10:44.960 go crazy kill anybody. You know, they're they're trying to 245 00:10:45.000 --> 00:10:47.679 make money themselves. So you know, like so like I 246 00:10:47.679 --> 00:10:50.480 didn't have to become a member. I mean I eventually did, obviously, 247 00:10:50.519 --> 00:10:52.639 but at that time, I was like, all right, I 248 00:10:52.639 --> 00:10:54.279 could come here and it's like I really don't have 249 00:10:54.320 --> 00:10:56.519 to get involved to become a member, And there's plenty 250 00:10:56.559 --> 00:10:58.679 of things that I could probably just get you know, 251 00:10:58.799 --> 00:11:01.960 learn from. But the main thing for me really was 252 00:11:02.039 --> 00:11:05.399 actually being around people that practice because I didn't know 253 00:11:05.480 --> 00:11:08.840 anybody personally, like physically in my own life. I knew 254 00:11:08.840 --> 00:11:11.240 people from online. So I was like, all right, at 255 00:11:11.279 --> 00:11:13.840 least I can come here and like someone that everybody 256 00:11:13.919 --> 00:11:16.200 was completely weird. I was like, I could probably like 257 00:11:16.200 --> 00:11:18.879 get ideas, learn, bounce things off of people, see what 258 00:11:18.919 --> 00:11:22.720 works for them, see their experiences. So, you know, like 259 00:11:22.759 --> 00:11:25.159 I said, I ended up staying for a few degrees. 260 00:11:25.559 --> 00:11:29.120 I did a few initiations. Eventually I was there for 261 00:11:29.159 --> 00:11:35.200 about six years. Uh what eventually made me leave? Well, 262 00:11:35.240 --> 00:11:40.200 COVID came and they closed. They crumbled to the CDC, 263 00:11:41.200 --> 00:11:43.480 and I was like, that's fucking weird, because, like, you know, 264 00:11:43.559 --> 00:11:45.639 Jesus has got his doors open. What are you saying, 265 00:11:45.639 --> 00:11:48.480 Like Jesus is Jesus has got more balls and horse 266 00:11:48.559 --> 00:11:50.320 You guys go on and on and on on about 267 00:11:50.320 --> 00:11:52.960 wors a mighty warrior and this motherfucker's dude scared they 268 00:11:52.960 --> 00:11:56.639 got his doors open for this shit. Come on, man, Oh, 269 00:11:56.679 --> 00:11:58.879 if you if you have such magicians and witches, why 270 00:11:58.879 --> 00:12:01.480 don't you just like what's I'm banishing fucking. 271 00:12:01.159 --> 00:12:03.960 COVID spell on yourself? Like come on, man, like just fucking. 272 00:12:03.759 --> 00:12:08.919 Stupid, you know, and uh, And then they started going on, 273 00:12:09.480 --> 00:12:11.879 this is so fucking funny because they use like ninety three. 274 00:12:11.919 --> 00:12:14.399 It's like a numerical value for like certain things. It's 275 00:12:14.480 --> 00:12:16.759 used a lot, Like that's even how people will say 276 00:12:16.840 --> 00:12:17.960 hi and. 277 00:12:17.679 --> 00:12:21.120 Yeah, yeah Crowley, he uses ninety three. 278 00:12:21.039 --> 00:12:22.120 Yes, yes, yes. 279 00:12:22.200 --> 00:12:24.399 And they even sent out an email saying that like 280 00:12:24.600 --> 00:12:27.080 ninety three percent of the lodge is uncomfortable going there 281 00:12:27.159 --> 00:12:30.440 unless they're fucking vaccinated. I'm like, that's a fake fucking number, 282 00:12:30.840 --> 00:12:33.200 because first off, you didn't ask me. He didn't ask Jason, 283 00:12:33.240 --> 00:12:36.279 you didn't ask Michael, he didn't ask fucking Jordan. So 284 00:12:36.320 --> 00:12:38.600 I don't know how the fuck that's ninety three fucking percent. 285 00:12:38.639 --> 00:12:41.120 You just said ninety three. So these fucking clowns and 286 00:12:41.159 --> 00:12:43.519 these colt minded motherfuckers think it's cute and go along 287 00:12:43.519 --> 00:12:43.799 with it. 288 00:12:44.320 --> 00:12:44.720 Mm hmm. 289 00:12:45.919 --> 00:12:48.639 And I was like, yo, now you're fucking suggesting vaccinations. 290 00:12:48.720 --> 00:12:50.919 Get the fuck out of here. I'm not going Yeah, And. 291 00:12:50.919 --> 00:12:52.759 Then they started doing zoom meetings and I was like, 292 00:12:52.799 --> 00:12:55.120 you know what, And at this point I probably wasn't 293 00:12:55.120 --> 00:12:57.840 even going to that lodge for about six months because 294 00:12:57.879 --> 00:13:00.240 I was just now I wasn't comfortable anyone where I 295 00:13:00.320 --> 00:13:02.840 had my We'll get into it if we have time 296 00:13:02.919 --> 00:13:04.279 or if you want to. I had my own magical 297 00:13:04.320 --> 00:13:06.039 experiences to where I was like, I don't think that 298 00:13:06.080 --> 00:13:08.519 place emulates where the fuck I'm going or the experiences 299 00:13:08.519 --> 00:13:11.039 I had. It seems to emulate more of the vices 300 00:13:11.039 --> 00:13:12.559 of the handcuffs that you need to get rid of 301 00:13:12.639 --> 00:13:15.279 to have a magical experience. So I really wasn't going 302 00:13:15.320 --> 00:13:17.240 that much anymore. But then like they started doing these 303 00:13:17.279 --> 00:13:19.879 zoom meetings. I was like, you know what, I'll it's COVID, 304 00:13:19.960 --> 00:13:21.720 nothing's open, nothing the fuck to do anyway. 305 00:13:21.919 --> 00:13:24.200 I'll jump on and listen to these things regardless. 306 00:13:24.600 --> 00:13:26.360 And I did that for like maybe a few weeks, 307 00:13:26.600 --> 00:13:28.320 and then like all of a sudden, that George Floyd 308 00:13:28.360 --> 00:13:31.480 shit happened. No, and they send out a fucking email 309 00:13:32.120 --> 00:13:34.039 asking if we want to like have like some group 310 00:13:34.200 --> 00:13:36.399 meaning thing about George Floyd, and I'm like, looking at 311 00:13:36.399 --> 00:13:40.000 this shit, I'm like, yo, this has nothing to do 312 00:13:40.080 --> 00:13:43.039 with the oto of magic, and they are like very 313 00:13:43.120 --> 00:13:46.399 much like you know, if anybody knows how alcoholics anonymous works, 314 00:13:46.440 --> 00:13:48.240 and I'm sure narcotics Anonymous is the same. 315 00:13:48.320 --> 00:13:48.519 Shit. 316 00:13:48.960 --> 00:13:51.919 We're not here to talk about anything except alcohol. We're 317 00:13:51.919 --> 00:13:54.120 not here to talk about politics, religion. You know, we're 318 00:13:54.159 --> 00:13:56.960 alcohol and getting sober all that other shit we can't 319 00:13:56.960 --> 00:13:59.120 really have an opinion on. They're supposed to be the 320 00:13:59.159 --> 00:14:00.600 same way. So why the fuck are we talking about 321 00:14:00.600 --> 00:14:03.600 George Floyd? Because like you want to start getting old 322 00:14:03.600 --> 00:14:07.279 fleamic and do what that will? That motherfucker whatever happened 323 00:14:07.279 --> 00:14:08.879 to him, I hate to say, it didn't change my 324 00:14:08.919 --> 00:14:10.960 life or affect me at all, So why the fuck 325 00:14:11.000 --> 00:14:13.200 are we having a meeting over this? And I was like, 326 00:14:13.279 --> 00:14:15.039 let me go to this ship for ships and giggles, 327 00:14:15.080 --> 00:14:17.159 you know, I gotta listen to this fucking silly shit. 328 00:14:17.559 --> 00:14:19.720 And it turned into like some kumbai a fucking group 329 00:14:19.759 --> 00:14:22.480 therapy session about like people experiencing racism. I was like, 330 00:14:22.480 --> 00:14:24.360 you gotta be fucking kidding me. I was like, the 331 00:14:24.360 --> 00:14:26.799 funniest thing in here is that there's only one motherfucking 332 00:14:26.799 --> 00:14:29.360 black dude in this lotch to begin with, So like, 333 00:14:29.399 --> 00:14:33.200 where are we even going with this? Like maybe maybe 334 00:14:33.200 --> 00:14:36.759 we should acknowledge that, you know, it was just fucking silly. 335 00:14:36.799 --> 00:14:39.039 I was like, where the fuck one black dude in 336 00:14:39.080 --> 00:14:42.960 this whole fucking the whole meeting the whole zoom. I'm like, 337 00:14:43.000 --> 00:14:45.600 this is fucking fun. It was just weirdest shiit to me. 338 00:14:46.480 --> 00:14:48.039 And I was like, yo, why And then all of 339 00:14:48.080 --> 00:14:50.120 a sudden, they like want to like push the idea 340 00:14:50.120 --> 00:14:52.399 of like, oh, does anybody want to like go and protest? 341 00:14:52.519 --> 00:14:55.120 Maybe we can start, you know, Like I was like, Yo, 342 00:14:55.159 --> 00:14:55.559 we're gonna go. 343 00:14:55.600 --> 00:14:58.080 We're not gonna have meetings because of COVID, but we're 344 00:14:58.080 --> 00:14:59.759 all gonna get together on the street. 345 00:15:00.279 --> 00:15:02.039 I wanted to say that, but I was like, you know, 346 00:15:02.080 --> 00:15:03.840 I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut because I was 347 00:15:03.840 --> 00:15:05.960 gonna be like, yo, so the lodge is fucking closed, 348 00:15:06.240 --> 00:15:07.759 but you guys want to go out and stand out 349 00:15:07.759 --> 00:15:09.879 in the streets and around what the fuck. 350 00:15:09.679 --> 00:15:12.960 Is wrong with you? And I was just like yo. 351 00:15:13.120 --> 00:15:17.799 I was like never again, and I stopped, uh, stopped 352 00:15:17.840 --> 00:15:19.159 listening to you know, the emails. 353 00:15:19.159 --> 00:15:20.519 Everything. I was just I was done. 354 00:15:21.240 --> 00:15:23.559 And because of that, I was just like, between that 355 00:15:23.679 --> 00:15:25.960 and having my own magical experience, I was already kind 356 00:15:26.000 --> 00:15:29.320 of like almost out of like kind of getting out 357 00:15:29.360 --> 00:15:32.440 of that lifestyle. And I was like, you know, let 358 00:15:32.440 --> 00:15:34.039 me go back to what I like used to be interested. 359 00:15:34.080 --> 00:15:36.000 And I was like gonna go back to conspiracies and 360 00:15:36.039 --> 00:15:37.679 you know this and that, and started going back to 361 00:15:37.759 --> 00:15:39.639 the stuff that I was into before I got heavily 362 00:15:39.679 --> 00:15:41.799 into that. And I don't know if it was just 363 00:15:41.840 --> 00:15:43.679 like me starting to pay attention to the world around 364 00:15:43.679 --> 00:15:46.600 me instead of like magic and rituals and reading books 365 00:15:46.600 --> 00:15:49.240 and going to the OTO. I was just like, Yo, 366 00:15:49.840 --> 00:15:53.960 the cult symbolism and magic is like fucking like rampidly blatant. 367 00:15:54.039 --> 00:15:56.240 I was like, like, was it always like this or 368 00:15:56.320 --> 00:15:58.759 did I just not notice? Like did it get bad 369 00:15:58.840 --> 00:16:01.279 in the last few years. I was like, it's fucking unreal, 370 00:16:01.559 --> 00:16:05.840 especially politics, I thought, even both sides, Democrats and the Republicans. 371 00:16:05.840 --> 00:16:07.960 When Trump was going against Biden, I was like, Yo, 372 00:16:08.120 --> 00:16:10.080 the symbolism when both of them the shit they're saying, 373 00:16:10.080 --> 00:16:12.840 the numbers are using, I'm like, Yo, this is fucking insane. 374 00:16:14.000 --> 00:16:16.159 So I was like, yo, I gotta I just started 375 00:16:16.200 --> 00:16:18.919 a podcast because of like my experiences with the OTO 376 00:16:19.039 --> 00:16:21.159 and how I saw like, you know, cult symbolism being 377 00:16:21.279 --> 00:16:22.759 basically just fucking. 378 00:16:22.879 --> 00:16:24.879 All over the place everywhere. 379 00:16:25.480 --> 00:16:29.120 Yeah yeah, then uh yeah, I mean it really just 380 00:16:29.200 --> 00:16:31.240 it started off with me like talking into a like 381 00:16:31.279 --> 00:16:33.519 a microphone and recorded myself on the computer. I wasn't 382 00:16:33.519 --> 00:16:35.440 even using a camera and just releasing it out on 383 00:16:35.480 --> 00:16:38.600 Sprinker and bit shoot, you know, sit in my kitchen too. 384 00:16:38.639 --> 00:16:41.720 Now it's you know, something completely different. But it started 385 00:16:41.759 --> 00:16:44.799 off basically with me, like I was telling you prior 386 00:16:46.000 --> 00:16:48.399 prior to the show, like how they get you when 387 00:16:48.399 --> 00:16:50.960 you want to talk about like initiation shit, or like 388 00:16:51.000 --> 00:16:53.600 certain stuff you're not supposed to repeat just because those 389 00:16:53.840 --> 00:16:57.679 those books get copyrighted. And like when I first started 390 00:16:57.840 --> 00:17:00.879 coming out, I covered the degrees. 391 00:17:00.919 --> 00:17:02.200 You know, they took them down, but. 392 00:17:02.120 --> 00:17:04.079 Like when I I originally came out, it was like 393 00:17:04.119 --> 00:17:06.799 trying to I guess I was very mad at the 394 00:17:06.839 --> 00:17:10.240 OTO because I even feel like they did they lie 395 00:17:10.279 --> 00:17:11.920 to you, but when it comes to magic, they really 396 00:17:11.920 --> 00:17:13.680 don't tell you what the fuck it's about. So I think, 397 00:17:13.720 --> 00:17:15.680 like if you have a magical experience, it might like 398 00:17:15.839 --> 00:17:18.839 rock your fucking core or even fucking drive your mad 399 00:17:19.799 --> 00:17:23.119 because you're like, wait, this is magic, Like dying is 400 00:17:23.119 --> 00:17:23.880 a part of magic. 401 00:17:23.920 --> 00:17:25.480 Like why did the fuck didn't you tell me that? 402 00:17:26.279 --> 00:17:28.880 You know what I'm saying, Like what That's not what 403 00:17:28.920 --> 00:17:30.880 I thought it was, Like, I don't know, it's just 404 00:17:30.880 --> 00:17:32.799 hard to explain like you should really tell people like 405 00:17:32.799 --> 00:17:34.680 what the fuck like is actually gonna happen if you 406 00:17:34.720 --> 00:17:37.240 do have this experience. And I was just kind of like, 407 00:17:37.240 --> 00:17:39.839 I guess butt hert over that shit. And uh I 408 00:17:39.960 --> 00:17:42.519 was kind of very against the OTO. I mean again, 409 00:17:42.519 --> 00:17:45.240 I don't agree with them now anyway, but uh so 410 00:17:45.319 --> 00:17:46.759 I did a lot of stuff trying to like I 411 00:17:46.759 --> 00:17:50.119 guess shit on them and cover a cult symbolism. And 412 00:17:50.160 --> 00:17:53.240 then eventually, like I started working with somebody lux at 413 00:17:53.240 --> 00:17:55.640 the time, I probably had him. He was the co 414 00:17:55.759 --> 00:17:57.559 host for the Occult Rejects like the first year and 415 00:17:57.599 --> 00:18:00.559 a half, and we like would cover a secret society's 416 00:18:00.559 --> 00:18:04.200 and a cult symbolism taro and stuff. But uh it's 417 00:18:04.240 --> 00:18:06.559 basically how like it came to be because of my 418 00:18:06.680 --> 00:18:10.240 experience in the OTO, realizing I didn't want to be 419 00:18:10.279 --> 00:18:14.039 there anymore having a magical experience. I just was just like, Yo, 420 00:18:14.119 --> 00:18:16.680 this ship is fucking all over the world and it's 421 00:18:16.720 --> 00:18:18.279 like fucking controlling everybody. 422 00:18:19.000 --> 00:18:19.640 Yeah, and I was. 423 00:18:19.599 --> 00:18:23.079 Like I should probably uh maybe I saw a podcast 424 00:18:23.119 --> 00:18:24.400 a bit about it. 425 00:18:24.400 --> 00:18:26.119 It was around the same time too that I like, 426 00:18:26.119 --> 00:18:26.799 you know, how like that. 427 00:18:26.799 --> 00:18:28.960 There was probably a fun ton of shows that all 428 00:18:29.039 --> 00:18:30.839 came out within like the same six months. 429 00:18:31.599 --> 00:18:34.039 Seem like everybody just had the same idea. I was 430 00:18:34.079 --> 00:18:36.039 around in that time too, Yeah. 431 00:18:36.240 --> 00:18:41.920 Yeah, as because I started in the spring of twenty one, 432 00:18:42.440 --> 00:18:45.160 and like pretty much everybody that I know started around 433 00:18:45.200 --> 00:18:48.640 that time too, right after COVID, or a lot of 434 00:18:48.640 --> 00:18:54.839 people started during COVID. But as my podcast kind of 435 00:18:54.839 --> 00:18:56.920 like came about in the same way. I didn't become 436 00:18:56.960 --> 00:18:59.279 a member of any group, but I just was like 437 00:18:59.720 --> 00:19:02.720 I was listening. I was into conspiracy since nine to eleven. 438 00:19:02.759 --> 00:19:04.920 I was like, oh yeah, yeah, I was thirty. 439 00:19:05.000 --> 00:19:08.279 I was twelve thirteen when nine to eleven happened, and 440 00:19:08.400 --> 00:19:10.680 I was watching it on TV in my living room 441 00:19:10.680 --> 00:19:13.200 when I got home from school, and I remember seeing 442 00:19:13.240 --> 00:19:16.319 some things that I was just like, this doesn't seem right, 443 00:19:16.559 --> 00:19:19.759 like why and then the building falling straight down when 444 00:19:20.279 --> 00:19:23.079 the top of it should have just fallen over, you 445 00:19:23.160 --> 00:19:25.839 know what I mean. So right then and there, I 446 00:19:25.880 --> 00:19:27.640 was like, that's weird. But I didn't think too much 447 00:19:27.680 --> 00:19:30.559 of it. But the more what I and I didn't 448 00:19:30.559 --> 00:19:35.319 listen to podcasts for I thought podcasts were stupid. I 449 00:19:35.319 --> 00:19:36.680 was like, who the fuck wants to sit there and 450 00:19:36.720 --> 00:19:39.440 listen to two people or a group of people, or 451 00:19:39.480 --> 00:19:42.480 want even one person just like have conversations and talk 452 00:19:42.480 --> 00:19:43.680 about certain things. 453 00:19:43.680 --> 00:19:46.119 I was like, I was like, that sounds silly. 454 00:19:46.359 --> 00:19:50.000 And then in twenty twenty, when nothing was happening and 455 00:19:50.359 --> 00:19:53.119 the radio was fucking played out and I had the 456 00:19:53.160 --> 00:19:55.680 same playlist for like two years, I was like, all right, 457 00:19:55.720 --> 00:19:57.960 let's let's get into some podcasts. 458 00:19:58.000 --> 00:19:59.799 I guess let's see what this is all about. 459 00:20:00.039 --> 00:20:02.880 I started listening to podcasts and I found I started 460 00:20:02.880 --> 00:20:06.079 listening to a lot of conspiracy stuff. And then I 461 00:20:06.200 --> 00:20:10.759 found through the conspiracy podcasts, I found some paranormal podcasts. 462 00:20:11.039 --> 00:20:15.559 And I had paranormal experiences growing up, and yeah, I 463 00:20:15.559 --> 00:20:19.160 had a couple as an adult too, some scary ones. 464 00:20:19.920 --> 00:20:21.440 And so I was like, you know what I want 465 00:20:21.440 --> 00:20:24.920 to talk to people about, you know, conspiracies and ghosts 466 00:20:24.960 --> 00:20:28.400 and fucking Bigfoot and shit like that. I was like, so, 467 00:20:28.559 --> 00:20:30.920 let's let's just do that. I was like, I'm not 468 00:20:31.000 --> 00:20:33.960 looking to freaking and somebody one of my friends. 469 00:20:33.759 --> 00:20:34.960 Were like, what do you think you're going to be 470 00:20:35.039 --> 00:20:35.680 Joe Rogan? 471 00:20:35.759 --> 00:20:39.119 And I was like, I'm fucking not even trying for that, 472 00:20:40.480 --> 00:20:42.160 Like I'm not looking for fame. 473 00:20:42.200 --> 00:20:43.960 I just want to talk to people like that. I 474 00:20:44.039 --> 00:20:46.680 just want to talk to people about their experiences with 475 00:20:47.160 --> 00:20:48.640 all this shit. That's all I want. 476 00:20:48.680 --> 00:20:52.200 That's because I can't start a conversation with Joe Schmoe 477 00:20:52.599 --> 00:20:55.279 and them fucking stare at me like I'm fucking retarded. 478 00:20:55.319 --> 00:20:57.799 You know, I guarantee those people aren't purely happy what 479 00:20:57.799 --> 00:20:58.680 they're doing anyway. 480 00:21:00.440 --> 00:21:00.880 I agree. 481 00:21:00.920 --> 00:21:05.640 But yeah, it's funny too because I get more support 482 00:21:05.640 --> 00:21:06.720 from people I don't know. 483 00:21:09.200 --> 00:21:09.960 So well. 484 00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:11.960 That's even another thing too with the cole Reji. Actually, 485 00:21:11.960 --> 00:21:14.119 be told you probably two thirds of the people on 486 00:21:14.200 --> 00:21:17.960 there were fans that eventually I brought onto the show 487 00:21:18.000 --> 00:21:20.039 and even started the wrong podcast or even sarted the 488 00:21:20.079 --> 00:21:22.160 wrong podcast. I had two or three people tell me 489 00:21:22.160 --> 00:21:24.279 they started the podcast because of the show or because 490 00:21:24.319 --> 00:21:27.079 of me, and then I sort of bringing them on 491 00:21:27.160 --> 00:21:28.759 and they just became part of the show as well. 492 00:21:28.880 --> 00:21:30.240 So nice. 493 00:21:30.319 --> 00:21:32.559 Yeah, it is pretty wild. Hell, actually, yeah, most of 494 00:21:32.559 --> 00:21:35.720 that show is actually people. They're a good chunk of 495 00:21:35.759 --> 00:21:38.759 it was people are just listeners. And I was like, goo, 496 00:21:38.799 --> 00:21:39.920 let's making it happen. 497 00:21:41.000 --> 00:21:44.880 That's awesome, that's awesome. Good for you, that's that's cool. 498 00:21:45.839 --> 00:21:48.799 So I don't really know a whole lot of about 499 00:21:48.839 --> 00:21:52.759 the oto. I've heard it a few times and once 500 00:21:52.799 --> 00:21:57.200 I like owls, so I have one fucking right here 501 00:21:57.240 --> 00:22:00.759 on my fucking throat. So once I started hearing about it, 502 00:22:00.839 --> 00:22:03.359 I was like, uh, it's like literally right after I 503 00:22:03.400 --> 00:22:06.279 got the the this tattoo that I started hearing more 504 00:22:06.279 --> 00:22:08.440 and more about it, and I was like, oh, ship, 505 00:22:08.559 --> 00:22:08.880 maybe I. 506 00:22:08.839 --> 00:22:09.559 Shouldn't have done that. 507 00:22:10.319 --> 00:22:11.400 He's controlled. 508 00:22:13.400 --> 00:22:20.720 Grove. And then and then I've found out that the 509 00:22:20.759 --> 00:22:24.119 Batman symbol is like a Masonic kind of thing, and 510 00:22:24.160 --> 00:22:25.640 I was like, fucking a, So now I got a 511 00:22:25.680 --> 00:22:27.759 fucking tattoo that people are going to be like, oh, 512 00:22:27.799 --> 00:22:30.799 he's controlled opposition, blah blah, blah blah. He's got an 513 00:22:30.799 --> 00:22:33.400 owl on his throat and a fucking Batman tattoo on 514 00:22:33.440 --> 00:22:37.480 his arm, Like fucking how Masonic and fucking occultic? 515 00:22:37.599 --> 00:22:38.960 Can you get the symbol? 516 00:22:39.440 --> 00:22:42.039 All my tattoos blatantly a cult? I can't even hide him. 517 00:22:42.240 --> 00:22:42.960 They are a cult. 518 00:22:44.240 --> 00:22:46.599 Yeah, so. 519 00:22:48.119 --> 00:22:50.359 Do you fucking so you go to this this first 520 00:22:50.400 --> 00:22:52.559 meeting and then you end up becoming yeah. 521 00:22:52.759 --> 00:22:57.640 Yeah when six years later I left, Yeah, so uh 522 00:22:57.880 --> 00:23:01.440 freaking it's it's in resting how all of this ship 523 00:23:01.559 --> 00:23:03.440 goes back to like sexual ship. 524 00:23:03.680 --> 00:23:06.319 Like like you said, like titties started coming out and 525 00:23:06.400 --> 00:23:08.480 the first time, the first time you you were there. 526 00:23:08.480 --> 00:23:10.480 You know what's funny is that when I when someoney 527 00:23:10.480 --> 00:23:13.519 did like I was going to ask to join anyway eventually, Yeah, 528 00:23:13.720 --> 00:23:15.480 because all this stuff, but it was funny how like 529 00:23:15.480 --> 00:23:18.559 when somebody mentioned it, I realized that after fact, I 530 00:23:18.599 --> 00:23:21.799 was like, it's funny. How was the priestess that I 531 00:23:21.839 --> 00:23:24.920 saw the first time at my ot O meeting? She's 532 00:23:25.160 --> 00:23:27.599 I saw her titties. Yeah, I just found a way 533 00:23:27.680 --> 00:23:29.759 the first chick that I saw her tits. So now 534 00:23:29.799 --> 00:23:31.440 the one asking me, are you going to join? And 535 00:23:31.440 --> 00:23:33.240 you know, tell me, you know, you take the paperwork, 536 00:23:33.279 --> 00:23:35.640 I'll sign it for you, and I'm like fox. 537 00:23:37.880 --> 00:23:39.759 She's like, do you want to see my Yeah, you 538 00:23:39.759 --> 00:23:40.319 want to see him? 539 00:23:42.720 --> 00:23:43.839 I was even saw like a pig. 540 00:23:43.839 --> 00:23:45.160 But I was like, she is like the only one 541 00:23:45.240 --> 00:23:48.599 here that's kind of even worth looking at, oh ship, 542 00:23:50.519 --> 00:23:52.319 Well at least at least then she was. 543 00:23:54.720 --> 00:23:56.640 No. No, I mean that I think of God's gift 544 00:23:56.640 --> 00:23:57.000 to the world. 545 00:23:57.000 --> 00:23:59.119 It was it was actually just weird, and it was 546 00:23:59.279 --> 00:24:03.039 that was old, always a weird and uncomfortable situation to 547 00:24:03.119 --> 00:24:06.480 the point that when you're there for a while, especially 548 00:24:06.480 --> 00:24:09.079 if you start taking degrees, they might expect you like, 549 00:24:09.119 --> 00:24:10.839 you know, would you like to get involved, would you 550 00:24:10.880 --> 00:24:12.480 like to do something? You know, could you maybe do 551 00:24:12.559 --> 00:24:14.440 something in the mass, or could you do a class? 552 00:24:14.759 --> 00:24:17.400 They'll start asking you and like, I I'm normally not 553 00:24:17.400 --> 00:24:19.279 I don't want to stop being broaded or asked to 554 00:24:19.319 --> 00:24:20.559 do things, so I'm like, you know what, I know 555 00:24:20.640 --> 00:24:21.680 it's gonna eventually come. 556 00:24:21.759 --> 00:24:23.720 I'll just find something to do with myself. 557 00:24:24.599 --> 00:24:29.000 And they started having like issues with like, you know, 558 00:24:29.039 --> 00:24:31.119 not people may not always show up or they can't 559 00:24:31.160 --> 00:24:33.119 always get everybody to do a mass, so they may 560 00:24:33.119 --> 00:24:36.440 not be able to do it. And a child they 561 00:24:36.440 --> 00:24:38.359 call a child. There's two of them that are in 562 00:24:38.400 --> 00:24:42.039 the mass. You're basically one person is represented. You're basically 563 00:24:42.039 --> 00:24:44.920 representing the pillars of the tree, and one of them 564 00:24:44.960 --> 00:24:47.160 will hold salt and water and the other one will 565 00:24:47.160 --> 00:24:49.759 hold an incense burner and incense, and you follow the 566 00:24:49.799 --> 00:24:53.799 priests and the priestess around throughout the mass. They had 567 00:24:53.839 --> 00:24:55.799 like a lot of openings for that, and at that 568 00:24:56.000 --> 00:24:58.359 time they are like basically like as long as you 569 00:24:58.400 --> 00:24:59.119 can learn what. 570 00:24:59.160 --> 00:25:01.200 You have to do, you can start doing it. 571 00:25:01.559 --> 00:25:04.359 At some point you had to get baptized and confirmed 572 00:25:04.799 --> 00:25:05.960 in order to be able to do it. 573 00:25:06.000 --> 00:25:08.000 But at first, you know, that's how it was. 574 00:25:08.079 --> 00:25:11.160 And I was like, yeah, I think somebody was like, 575 00:25:11.160 --> 00:25:13.440 would you ever be interested in doing it? I think 576 00:25:13.480 --> 00:25:15.519 because like they were, you know, kind of short handed. 577 00:25:16.519 --> 00:25:18.480 I was like, yeah, you know what, I'll actually do 578 00:25:18.559 --> 00:25:21.319 that because like you know, now I'll start getting involved 579 00:25:21.319 --> 00:25:22.839 and they won't ask me to do anything. And one 580 00:25:22.839 --> 00:25:25.000 of the reasons why this is sound cheesy, long drawn 581 00:25:25.000 --> 00:25:26.920 ass story to tell you this is that when you're 582 00:25:27.000 --> 00:25:28.960 the child, by the time she's get the chick is 583 00:25:28.960 --> 00:25:30.680 going to take off her shit and take out a tits. 584 00:25:30.720 --> 00:25:33.680 I'm my backage to her and I'm looking at everybody else. 585 00:25:34.640 --> 00:25:36.480 So I was like, now I can't actually avoid the 586 00:25:36.480 --> 00:25:39.359 whole fucking awkward situation. And I'll just sit there with 587 00:25:39.440 --> 00:25:42.079 my incense and burning on my water and salt and 588 00:25:42.119 --> 00:25:43.599 she's got a tits out. I don't have to look 589 00:25:43.640 --> 00:25:44.160 at anything. 590 00:25:46.079 --> 00:25:48.200 It sounds like fucking cheasy vanilla prove. 591 00:25:48.240 --> 00:25:50.559 But I was just like it was just fucking weird 592 00:25:50.599 --> 00:25:52.440 because it's just like, yo, like, now I'm hanging out 593 00:25:52.480 --> 00:25:54.160 with you after the fact you have your clothes on, 594 00:25:54.240 --> 00:25:56.400 or like next week I'm gonna be like talking to 595 00:25:56.480 --> 00:25:57.839 you and like one day you're just gonna be up 596 00:25:57.839 --> 00:25:58.920 there again with your tits hanging out. 597 00:25:58.960 --> 00:26:00.759 It was just like fucking weird, you know. 598 00:26:00.799 --> 00:26:03.960 I was just like, yeah, it's like I hate I 599 00:26:03.960 --> 00:26:07.240 don't want to look at him either, you mean I 600 00:26:07.279 --> 00:26:07.880 want to look at me? 601 00:26:08.319 --> 00:26:11.039 I get it. 602 00:26:11.119 --> 00:26:13.960 One time enough Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was enough. Believe 603 00:26:17.119 --> 00:26:17.880 So if you. 604 00:26:17.799 --> 00:26:20.440 Don't mine, I'd love to hear this, uh, the magical 605 00:26:20.440 --> 00:26:21.319 experience you had. 606 00:26:21.480 --> 00:26:25.400 Oh yeah, I do believe I have crossed the abyss. 607 00:26:25.480 --> 00:26:27.519 I mean that is something I claim on my own show. 608 00:26:28.440 --> 00:26:31.680 I do think that is like for a magician if 609 00:26:31.720 --> 00:26:34.240 they're I hate going into black and white magic, but 610 00:26:34.279 --> 00:26:36.799 if you're actually trying to do something to better yourself, 611 00:26:37.960 --> 00:26:40.039 I think that's that's what magic is, is going to 612 00:26:40.119 --> 00:26:43.000 be crossing the abyss and and having an experience with 613 00:26:43.079 --> 00:26:45.279 the Source or God or whatever people want to call it. 614 00:26:45.400 --> 00:26:49.400 I call it God the Source. That's what the magician. Technically, 615 00:26:50.359 --> 00:26:52.200 that's what a magician is supposed to be doing. There's 616 00:26:52.279 --> 00:26:55.720 their whole means is supposed to have, you know, become union, 617 00:26:55.759 --> 00:27:00.079 have union with God and uh I started. I I 618 00:27:00.119 --> 00:27:03.839 do believe I had that experience across the Abyss and 619 00:27:03.960 --> 00:27:05.839 pretty much like changed my life and even change the 620 00:27:05.839 --> 00:27:10.480 way I look at even magic anymore. And the crazy 621 00:27:10.480 --> 00:27:11.920 thing is, I mean I can go into it too, 622 00:27:12.240 --> 00:27:15.119 you know I will. But when I had these like 623 00:27:15.359 --> 00:27:18.119 serious magical experiences, I had one that I think it 624 00:27:18.160 --> 00:27:20.400 was like getting kind of close there that I actually 625 00:27:20.400 --> 00:27:22.400 did a ritual like I was doing ritual work and 626 00:27:22.440 --> 00:27:25.599 it wasn't even anything crazy. I was basically like, people 627 00:27:25.599 --> 00:27:27.640 may not understand when I say this now, because if 628 00:27:27.640 --> 00:27:29.319 they don't practice magic, the probably like I don't know 629 00:27:29.359 --> 00:27:31.440 what the fuck it just said. But I was using 630 00:27:31.480 --> 00:27:34.559 like I always use the cabalistic tree of Life for 631 00:27:34.559 --> 00:27:36.480 the most part when I do my rituals, and I 632 00:27:36.519 --> 00:27:38.480 was working with net SoC or Venus or it was 633 00:27:38.559 --> 00:27:40.720 kind of more of like a hath or idea, but 634 00:27:40.799 --> 00:27:43.119 a lot of times I was also using whatever, like 635 00:27:43.160 --> 00:27:47.279 the God the idea of God in that sphere. So 636 00:27:47.359 --> 00:27:49.119 a lot of times I near the end wis I 637 00:27:49.160 --> 00:27:50.960 was doing rituals. A lot of my work was actually 638 00:27:51.559 --> 00:27:53.880 to God and not actually specific deities anymore. 639 00:27:54.359 --> 00:27:55.880 It was almost like prayers and theorgy. 640 00:27:57.799 --> 00:27:59.119 You know, I had kind of a little bit of 641 00:27:59.119 --> 00:28:02.400 an interesting experience, and then I stopped because I thought 642 00:28:02.400 --> 00:28:04.519 it was like a little weird. And then eventually I 643 00:28:04.559 --> 00:28:06.279 was like, you know what, I'll go back into meditating. 644 00:28:06.319 --> 00:28:07.680 And now what I want to get in to my 645 00:28:07.759 --> 00:28:10.720 magical experience is this literally was just for meditating. 646 00:28:11.000 --> 00:28:14.720 No rituals were done or anything. And that was, like, you. 647 00:28:14.640 --> 00:28:16.039 Know, it blew me away because I was like, yo, 648 00:28:16.079 --> 00:28:17.799 I didn't even do a ritual and this shit was 649 00:28:17.799 --> 00:28:22.480 more intense than like anything I've ever experienced. But you know, 650 00:28:22.519 --> 00:28:26.079 I and another thing I do want to say before 651 00:28:26.119 --> 00:28:28.079 I forget, and I'm going to get into it though, 652 00:28:28.119 --> 00:28:31.640 but like you know, the whole death and rebirth, I 653 00:28:31.680 --> 00:28:34.119 do believe in a sense, and I know it sounds crazy, 654 00:28:34.119 --> 00:28:36.880 it sounds like a little scary. I'm not saying it 655 00:28:36.880 --> 00:28:39.000 to get like you know, edgy points or whatever, but 656 00:28:39.880 --> 00:28:41.799 you know, I do believe that death is actually a 657 00:28:41.839 --> 00:28:43.640 part of magic. You know, they talk about the death 658 00:28:43.680 --> 00:28:45.400 and the rebirth. I think it's a little bit more 659 00:28:45.440 --> 00:28:48.279 literal than people would like to actually think. I mean, 660 00:28:48.279 --> 00:28:50.240 I remember, even as a child, I would hear stuff 661 00:28:50.240 --> 00:28:52.839 about like monks of these people that supposedly would be 662 00:28:52.839 --> 00:28:55.119 able to go into these meditations and would seem as 663 00:28:55.119 --> 00:28:56.000 if they're dead. 664 00:28:56.480 --> 00:28:57.240 That shit's real. 665 00:28:58.200 --> 00:29:00.279 I not that I have done it, but like if 666 00:29:00.359 --> 00:29:03.400 you were to see the movie flat Liners, that's just 667 00:29:03.440 --> 00:29:06.000 a cheat code. That's just like instead of going into 668 00:29:06.039 --> 00:29:08.039 the meditation and spending all this time, I'll just put 669 00:29:08.079 --> 00:29:11.480 myself out and bring myself back. You're releasing the soul 670 00:29:11.599 --> 00:29:14.279 from the flesh and you're having an experience in the 671 00:29:14.279 --> 00:29:17.480 you know, the other world. That's what I actually think 672 00:29:17.559 --> 00:29:21.680 is happening. So like I I eventually, like when I 673 00:29:21.720 --> 00:29:25.079 had my experience a lot of times with meditating, I had. 674 00:29:24.960 --> 00:29:27.839 Like certain basics that I would do. Uh. I'd normally 675 00:29:27.880 --> 00:29:29.759 was sit in a chair. It had a flat back. 676 00:29:29.839 --> 00:29:32.960 I made sure that the back was completely flat, and 677 00:29:33.000 --> 00:29:35.480 I put my hands on my on my legs and 678 00:29:35.480 --> 00:29:36.160 just keep them straight. 679 00:29:36.200 --> 00:29:37.119 It's called the god post. 680 00:29:37.160 --> 00:29:39.799 It's like the easiest way to meditate besea. It's like 681 00:29:39.880 --> 00:29:41.000 laying on your bed on your back. 682 00:29:41.119 --> 00:29:41.319 You know. 683 00:29:41.759 --> 00:29:44.000 I was do something a little bit different than just 684 00:29:44.079 --> 00:29:47.000 laying on the bed. I'll do this, and I got 685 00:29:47.079 --> 00:29:49.400 kind of used to it, and so I would meditate 686 00:29:49.480 --> 00:29:51.279 there and a lot of times, like I always had 687 00:29:51.359 --> 00:29:53.079 like the same routines that I would go through just 688 00:29:53.119 --> 00:29:55.519 to kind of like get my I guess my senses 689 00:29:55.559 --> 00:29:57.880 going or balanced whatever before I would do a ritual. 690 00:29:58.920 --> 00:29:59.880 But I wasn't gonna do the rich. 691 00:30:00.039 --> 00:30:03.759 I was just gonna go through my meditations, and so 692 00:30:03.839 --> 00:30:06.319 I would like sometimes like sit there. And people who 693 00:30:06.359 --> 00:30:08.720 practice or even witches would probably even do this a lot. 694 00:30:08.799 --> 00:30:09.359 For meditation. 695 00:30:09.680 --> 00:30:11.680 You kind of picture like a white light coming down 696 00:30:11.720 --> 00:30:13.359 into you and then like moving through your body and 697 00:30:13.359 --> 00:30:15.880 then flowing into the ground or back and forth. You know, 698 00:30:16.000 --> 00:30:18.039 just stuff like that, or like just like stuff coming 699 00:30:18.079 --> 00:30:20.200 in and trying to like keep your eyes closed and 700 00:30:20.240 --> 00:30:23.720 actually envision like a form of your body filling up with. 701 00:30:23.680 --> 00:30:26.559 White light and then going into the ground. I would 702 00:30:26.599 --> 00:30:27.599 do that for a while. 703 00:30:27.880 --> 00:30:30.039 You'll move it up and down, and you know, I've 704 00:30:30.039 --> 00:30:32.839 said before, and I've heard other people say too, that 705 00:30:33.440 --> 00:30:35.279 I do believe that when you start getting really good 706 00:30:35.279 --> 00:30:38.079 at that, from my experience, you could even feel like 707 00:30:38.160 --> 00:30:41.359 the heat or something as you're visualizing the light moving 708 00:30:41.400 --> 00:30:44.279 throughout your body. It's gonna sound crazy, but especially in 709 00:30:44.359 --> 00:30:47.319 my legs, if I have a village, you visualized it 710 00:30:47.519 --> 00:30:50.079 like I could almost like literally, as I'm picturing the 711 00:30:50.160 --> 00:30:52.000 light going through my legs, I could almost feel like 712 00:30:52.039 --> 00:30:53.880 a burning sensation going down my legs. 713 00:30:53.720 --> 00:30:54.880 As I'm picturing. Wow. 714 00:30:55.240 --> 00:30:56.839 Yeah, And I do think that so you start to 715 00:30:56.880 --> 00:30:59.440 actually get some like the mind can make the body 716 00:30:59.480 --> 00:31:02.960 believe that isn't real, you know what I'm saying. So 717 00:31:03.400 --> 00:31:05.440 I do think that you're almost starting to get to that, 718 00:31:06.319 --> 00:31:09.119 to there, I mean your mind, if your mind, and 719 00:31:09.119 --> 00:31:10.640 I'm gonna even say this is how I think a 720 00:31:10.640 --> 00:31:13.240 lot of conspiracy theories and a bullshit actually take off. 721 00:31:13.279 --> 00:31:16.079 I hate to say it. Your mind will if it's 722 00:31:16.119 --> 00:31:16.640 afraid of. 723 00:31:16.599 --> 00:31:19.200 Something and doesn't understand something, it will fucking lie to 724 00:31:19.240 --> 00:31:21.480 you and make sense of it just so you can 725 00:31:21.480 --> 00:31:25.119 preserve your ego and then flip the fuck out. So uh, 726 00:31:25.559 --> 00:31:27.240 you know, we're just saying how strong the brain is. 727 00:31:28.359 --> 00:31:30.000 So like I would do that and then like once 728 00:31:30.039 --> 00:31:31.640 I felt like that that was good, then I would 729 00:31:31.680 --> 00:31:33.559 start going into my chakras and I would start like 730 00:31:33.640 --> 00:31:36.200 visualizing and aligning my chakras. I would start trying to 731 00:31:36.200 --> 00:31:39.000 focus on them for me, and you'll hear other people 732 00:31:39.039 --> 00:31:42.920 that are into that stuff. For a while, it sounds crazy. 733 00:31:42.960 --> 00:31:44.880 I always thought it was bullshit too when I first 734 00:31:44.880 --> 00:31:46.680 started getting into it, But I will shit you not. 735 00:31:46.880 --> 00:31:49.480 You can steel those motherfuckers. They feel like little spinning 736 00:31:49.519 --> 00:31:54.039 Tasmanian devils. It's like a little bull like. So I 737 00:31:54.079 --> 00:31:56.480 would try to focus on them and like kind of 738 00:31:56.519 --> 00:31:58.200 I don't know. I was just like put pressure on 739 00:31:58.279 --> 00:32:00.200 them or focus on them for a while and just 740 00:32:00.200 --> 00:32:02.079 go up and down a little bit. And then there'd 741 00:32:02.119 --> 00:32:04.799 be times that I I think I got this out 742 00:32:04.799 --> 00:32:06.759 of a book Hold the Wheels of Time or something 743 00:32:06.799 --> 00:32:09.480 like that, by energy of Judith or something somebody, the 744 00:32:09.559 --> 00:32:12.119 lady that was big into chakras, and I think she 745 00:32:12.200 --> 00:32:14.839 might be like into the lima. So I had her 746 00:32:14.880 --> 00:32:17.400 book and she would talk about pulling like the top 747 00:32:17.440 --> 00:32:19.480 one in the bottom one, like trying to visualize that 748 00:32:19.519 --> 00:32:21.079 to straighten it out, and this and that. So I 749 00:32:21.079 --> 00:32:24.640 would do stuff like that, and then sometimes I answer 750 00:32:24.759 --> 00:32:26.640 all that like I would just try to go into 751 00:32:26.640 --> 00:32:30.279 a meditation either just like let my mind kind of 752 00:32:30.279 --> 00:32:31.039 like empty out. 753 00:32:31.359 --> 00:32:32.960 And another thing I want to say for people when. 754 00:32:32.839 --> 00:32:34.960 They're like, oh, meditating, that sounds like a fucking boring 755 00:32:34.960 --> 00:32:39.400 and sucks. I don't even think about not thinking about anything. 756 00:32:39.599 --> 00:32:41.680 That's not gonna happen you try to cut out the 757 00:32:41.839 --> 00:32:44.200 one hundred, you know, leave yourself with ten voices instead 758 00:32:44.200 --> 00:32:44.720 of one hundred. 759 00:32:45.119 --> 00:32:48.279 That's actually like that's progress of meditation for me. 760 00:32:48.279 --> 00:32:51.640 Meditation normally would actually try to normally focus on. 761 00:32:51.480 --> 00:32:53.839 One idea and hold on to it and keep going 762 00:32:53.839 --> 00:32:54.319 with it. 763 00:32:54.799 --> 00:32:56.359 Believe it or not, a lot of times for like 764 00:32:56.440 --> 00:32:59.559 magicians or occultists, Like it's not clearing the mind. 765 00:32:59.599 --> 00:33:00.799 It's like you're using. 766 00:33:00.599 --> 00:33:02.640 Meditation to try to get lost in an idea and 767 00:33:02.920 --> 00:33:05.920 thought to figure something out, gain knowledge from it, or 768 00:33:06.079 --> 00:33:08.240 to get like lost in the image that you're viewing 769 00:33:08.279 --> 00:33:09.200 with your eyes closed. 770 00:33:09.319 --> 00:33:10.119 That's my opinion. 771 00:33:10.839 --> 00:33:14.319 Uh So, like I'm not trying to go completely you know, 772 00:33:14.359 --> 00:33:18.839 blank in the mind. And at this point I had 773 00:33:18.960 --> 00:33:21.640 remembered because of the prior, the prior experience I had 774 00:33:21.720 --> 00:33:23.640 that I said, got like a little weird. 775 00:33:23.680 --> 00:33:24.920 Just to sum that up real quick. 776 00:33:24.960 --> 00:33:26.279 It was like all of a sudden, like I had 777 00:33:26.319 --> 00:33:27.880 my eyes closed and I got like a flash of 778 00:33:27.880 --> 00:33:29.680 white and it felt like I like stepped into like 779 00:33:29.720 --> 00:33:31.799 an HDTV and it just looked like I was like 780 00:33:31.839 --> 00:33:34.640 standing in a pyramid, and I was starting to think 781 00:33:34.640 --> 00:33:36.480 about like where am I or who am I? 782 00:33:36.519 --> 00:33:38.240 And then all of a sudden, it's like I snapped 783 00:33:38.240 --> 00:33:39.319 out of it. 784 00:33:39.400 --> 00:33:41.200 But it was like really weird, and it was like 785 00:33:41.279 --> 00:33:44.000 so like high definition and grainy and the. 786 00:33:43.920 --> 00:33:46.960 Colors are almost like thermal cam. It was fucking bizarre, dude. 787 00:33:47.440 --> 00:33:47.680 It was. 788 00:33:47.799 --> 00:33:49.480 It was yeah, but it was just like yo, like 789 00:33:49.519 --> 00:33:52.960 it was so fucking real, and I didn't have my body. 790 00:33:52.960 --> 00:33:55.240 It was just like I was hovering in the scene. 791 00:33:56.039 --> 00:33:57.759 So like, you know, that kind of weired me out. 792 00:33:57.799 --> 00:33:59.279 I was like, all right, maybe I'll calm down with 793 00:33:59.319 --> 00:34:01.440 the rituals. I'm I'm gonna be totally awesome. I'm like, 794 00:34:01.480 --> 00:34:02.880 maybe I'm doing something. I don't know what the fuck 795 00:34:02.880 --> 00:34:04.920 I'm getting into. Ill shit, you not. I was like, 796 00:34:05.400 --> 00:34:07.680 I don't, I don't know, you know, how to fuck 797 00:34:07.680 --> 00:34:09.400 do I even know that these rituals are okay that 798 00:34:09.480 --> 00:34:11.400 I'm even doing, Like, you know, all this shit's going 799 00:34:11.440 --> 00:34:12.000 through my head. 800 00:34:12.480 --> 00:34:14.280 So I was like, I'll just stick to basics and 801 00:34:14.320 --> 00:34:17.400 just meditate. That should be, you know, safe, you would think. 802 00:34:19.000 --> 00:34:22.679 So. But prior to that one thing that I remembered, 803 00:34:22.679 --> 00:34:24.559 and I mean, it's my own fault, fucking fault too, 804 00:34:24.559 --> 00:34:27.360 because I was like, before that experience happened, you know. 805 00:34:27.440 --> 00:34:30.800 I would sometimes like, if I'll do all that meditating, 806 00:34:30.800 --> 00:34:32.679 then I'll do my ritual. And then sometimes in the 807 00:34:32.679 --> 00:34:34.440 middle of the ritual, when I want to do whatever 808 00:34:34.480 --> 00:34:36.119 I want to do or ask God whatever I want 809 00:34:36.119 --> 00:34:38.239 to ask God for, what to pray or whatever, I'll 810 00:34:38.280 --> 00:34:41.199 go through like more meditation again, and sometimes I'll play 811 00:34:41.199 --> 00:34:44.280 with my chakras. And this time I was pushing on 812 00:34:44.320 --> 00:34:46.599 the panial one kind of hard, just like holding it. 813 00:34:46.800 --> 00:34:49.719 That sounds crazy, I'm fuckers pushing on this panial fucking whatever. 814 00:34:50.199 --> 00:34:52.079 I'm kind of like holding it. You can feel it. 815 00:34:52.199 --> 00:34:55.280 And for me, I normally it's like I will put 816 00:34:55.320 --> 00:34:58.320 my eyes up like almost cross eyed, towards my panial gland, 817 00:34:58.320 --> 00:35:00.760 and it's like as I'm feeling that, but as I'm 818 00:35:00.760 --> 00:35:03.119 doing that, you can really feel it for me. So 819 00:35:03.239 --> 00:35:05.639 I was kind of like focusing and pressing on it. 820 00:35:06.519 --> 00:35:10.239 And I had realized before that explosion of white. When 821 00:35:10.239 --> 00:35:14.159 I was doing that, it seemed like and if people meditate, 822 00:35:14.159 --> 00:35:14.719 maybe they'll. 823 00:35:14.599 --> 00:35:16.239 Get this idea, they'll understand what I'm saying. 824 00:35:16.480 --> 00:35:18.119 When you close your eyes for a while, I don't 825 00:35:18.159 --> 00:35:20.039 know if it's maybe because you do get stuck getting 826 00:35:20.039 --> 00:35:21.360 loose in your head and not so much in the 827 00:35:21.400 --> 00:35:23.840 outer world. You don't see It's like it will be dark, 828 00:35:24.239 --> 00:35:26.079 but I feel like ten minutes into a meditation will 829 00:35:26.119 --> 00:35:26.519 be even. 830 00:35:26.440 --> 00:35:29.639 Darker with your eyes closed. That that makes sense to anybody. 831 00:35:30.519 --> 00:35:33.920 When I was pushing on the pineal gland, the dark 832 00:35:34.000 --> 00:35:36.280 would look like like even darker. It's like almost like 833 00:35:36.280 --> 00:35:39.679 it was if like black oil was like spelling out 834 00:35:39.960 --> 00:35:42.440 on a on a dusty black floor, to where it's 835 00:35:42.440 --> 00:35:43.840 like the black didn't even look like it was that 836 00:35:43.920 --> 00:35:46.159 dark anymore. It's like something else is even like fucking 837 00:35:46.199 --> 00:35:48.440 pouring out just fucking black as shit. 838 00:35:49.639 --> 00:35:51.199 So I remember that. I was like, let me see 839 00:35:51.239 --> 00:35:51.960 what that was about. 840 00:35:52.599 --> 00:35:56.599 So I started pushing on, pushing on like fanial gland 841 00:35:56.599 --> 00:36:00.320 where I was meditating, and I started noticing and like 842 00:36:00.360 --> 00:36:04.039 this little white piercing white dot and the like just 843 00:36:04.039 --> 00:36:06.159 starts showing up like like literally like if you had 844 00:36:06.159 --> 00:36:08.400 like a I guess, like a needle, and the tip 845 00:36:08.400 --> 00:36:12.519 of it was like burning fucking white ash shit literally 846 00:36:12.599 --> 00:36:15.280 just like out in the distance. And it's crazy saying 847 00:36:15.320 --> 00:36:17.079 out in the distance. This is another thing too, with 848 00:36:17.119 --> 00:36:20.079 this experience. Once I start getting into it, it is 849 00:36:20.119 --> 00:36:22.039 as if like, even though you're in your head, I 850 00:36:22.079 --> 00:36:24.519 swear to God, it's like you're seeing a distance. It 851 00:36:24.559 --> 00:36:29.480 is fucking insane, Like there's depth. Well before the white 852 00:36:29.519 --> 00:36:33.239 light came, all this black, like I said, was spreading out, 853 00:36:33.280 --> 00:36:35.199 and it started to look like almost like an oil 854 00:36:35.239 --> 00:36:39.320 slick where I would have like these very like fluorescent 855 00:36:39.840 --> 00:36:42.199 rainbow colors kind of like around it. Kind of like 856 00:36:42.239 --> 00:36:44.239 if you're driving through the street and you see like 857 00:36:44.239 --> 00:36:46.159 an oils like like in water, and you kind of 858 00:36:46.159 --> 00:36:48.159 see all like the rainbow and there it started to 859 00:36:48.199 --> 00:36:50.239 seem like that spreading out and then it got dark 860 00:36:50.320 --> 00:36:53.280 as fucking Then you see that white light, and I 861 00:36:53.360 --> 00:36:55.679 kind of like had to like focus on it. As 862 00:36:55.800 --> 00:36:57.800 crazy as it sounds, it's like it's almost it's like 863 00:36:58.239 --> 00:37:01.119 whereas visioning it in my eye eyes with my eyes closed, 864 00:37:01.159 --> 00:37:02.920 it's like I almost kind of had to have like 865 00:37:03.000 --> 00:37:05.559 my pineal gland like focusing on it and almost have 866 00:37:05.719 --> 00:37:08.360 like my head focused where I would see it. You know, 867 00:37:08.360 --> 00:37:10.440 it's hard to explain. It was almost like I had 868 00:37:10.440 --> 00:37:12.360 to lock onto it. And it's like you all of 869 00:37:12.360 --> 00:37:13.679 a sudden you need to get it, and you hold 870 00:37:13.679 --> 00:37:16.079 it and it starts to like come a little bit 871 00:37:16.159 --> 00:37:19.039 closer and then this white dot. I mean, it looks 872 00:37:19.039 --> 00:37:21.960 like a blazing fucking star. And I've questioned if that's 873 00:37:22.000 --> 00:37:23.639 where they even got the name for one of the 874 00:37:23.639 --> 00:37:27.719 OTO lodges, the blazing Star. The oto it looks like this, 875 00:37:27.920 --> 00:37:29.800 you know, burning star, and it starts coming a little 876 00:37:29.800 --> 00:37:32.199 bit closer, and then like a little bit of like 877 00:37:32.880 --> 00:37:35.639 black from around it looks like it like kind of 878 00:37:35.639 --> 00:37:37.559 like comes in, it swirls in, and it starts to 879 00:37:37.679 --> 00:37:40.559 makes it look like an eclipse. And then that's why 880 00:37:40.599 --> 00:37:43.400 I have like eclipse and all my logos, uh. And 881 00:37:43.599 --> 00:37:45.239 it starts to get like a little bit closer, and 882 00:37:45.239 --> 00:37:47.239 all of a sudden, it's just like complete darkness. And 883 00:37:47.239 --> 00:37:49.559 I just see this fucking eclipse hovering in front of me, 884 00:37:50.159 --> 00:37:52.320 and I'm like holding my pineal gland the whole time too, 885 00:37:52.880 --> 00:37:55.920 And then all of a sudden, when I even saw 886 00:37:55.960 --> 00:37:58.559 the white dot. This is so hard to explain, and 887 00:37:58.599 --> 00:38:01.320 sometimes I leave it out, but like unfortunately, like he 888 00:38:02.000 --> 00:38:05.639 explains maybe detail a little bit more. It looks like 889 00:38:05.679 --> 00:38:08.480 as if like somebody took like a pencil and drew 890 00:38:08.519 --> 00:38:11.559 like the outline of clouds and then like took that 891 00:38:11.639 --> 00:38:14.079 and threw it into like blackness, so like if anything 892 00:38:14.159 --> 00:38:17.719 lit up, you'd see like the the curvatures. It's hard 893 00:38:17.760 --> 00:38:20.400 to explain, so like you see that kind of like 894 00:38:20.480 --> 00:38:24.440 around the white light. Yeah, and that's what starts to 895 00:38:24.440 --> 00:38:26.159 even make it look like it has depth as well, 896 00:38:26.199 --> 00:38:28.079 because it's almost like you could see that there's something 897 00:38:28.119 --> 00:38:30.920 in between you know, everything, and it's just like. 898 00:38:30.880 --> 00:38:32.840 This little burning dot and it looks like all these 899 00:38:32.840 --> 00:38:33.159 other things. 900 00:38:33.199 --> 00:38:35.760 So now eventually when it turns into an eclipse at 901 00:38:35.800 --> 00:38:38.039 some point, I don't know what it is, but it's 902 00:38:38.079 --> 00:38:41.440 like you start seeing this like these colors flesh around it. 903 00:38:41.440 --> 00:38:46.719 It almost looks like flames like, and then it starts 904 00:38:46.719 --> 00:38:48.840 to just turn to basically. 905 00:38:48.440 --> 00:38:50.719 Dark like dark red or red. 906 00:38:51.480 --> 00:38:54.519 Now because of me talking about all those like curves 907 00:38:54.519 --> 00:38:57.239 and shit, when you see those explosions in red, it 908 00:38:57.320 --> 00:39:01.480 literally almost starts to look like flower of roses blooming again. 909 00:39:01.519 --> 00:39:03.400 Because I'm saying, all those little curvatures that you would 910 00:39:03.440 --> 00:39:05.679 see like in the clouds, those are kind of almost 911 00:39:05.760 --> 00:39:08.440 making the leafs now. It's hard to explain, but like 912 00:39:08.480 --> 00:39:11.719 it almost looks like literally roses blooming around like an eclipse. 913 00:39:12.239 --> 00:39:13.840 And that's why I have in one of my logos. 914 00:39:13.840 --> 00:39:17.480 It's roses around an eclipse. I've even wondered, you know, 915 00:39:17.599 --> 00:39:20.480 is that you Crowley used the word rose a lot. 916 00:39:20.599 --> 00:39:23.519 He's you know, he had a girl, but you know 917 00:39:23.559 --> 00:39:26.119 in his other work he he focused on the rose, 918 00:39:26.199 --> 00:39:28.360 and you know you have the rosaccrusians. I do wonder 919 00:39:28.400 --> 00:39:30.599 if this is like a common image that might be 920 00:39:30.639 --> 00:39:34.199 seen with people for crossing the abyss. But you start 921 00:39:34.239 --> 00:39:37.760 seeing those things come out, the explosions, and I'm just 922 00:39:37.800 --> 00:39:40.400 like sitting there looking at it, and I'm not thinking anything. 923 00:39:41.039 --> 00:39:42.800 I'd be totally honest with you. I'm like sitting here, 924 00:39:42.840 --> 00:39:44.639 I'm like, yo, this is like a cool, fucking like 925 00:39:44.719 --> 00:39:46.639 free movie I'm watching right now. Like I'm just like 926 00:39:46.760 --> 00:39:50.360 assuming that my mind is just like just playing with 927 00:39:50.880 --> 00:39:53.400 playing around. I guess, I don't know. I'm not really 928 00:39:53.480 --> 00:39:55.880 taking it too like serious. I just think it's like 929 00:39:56.079 --> 00:39:58.000 this is fucking cool. Look and it's weird. Let's keep going. 930 00:39:59.079 --> 00:40:01.079 So like now all of a sud under like geometric 931 00:40:01.199 --> 00:40:05.039 shapes start like showing up. Oh before the yeah yeah, 932 00:40:05.199 --> 00:40:08.400 uh wait what happened first? I don't know if it's 933 00:40:08.440 --> 00:40:11.400 the shapes, I might be getting it screwed up in uh, 934 00:40:11.519 --> 00:40:15.480 which which things come first, I don't know, after the explosions, 935 00:40:15.480 --> 00:40:18.280 and all of a sudden, these lines start coming out 936 00:40:18.320 --> 00:40:21.840 to where it looks like as if the eclipse was spinning, 937 00:40:21.920 --> 00:40:24.440 and these swirls are coming out and making like a spiral, 938 00:40:25.000 --> 00:40:28.320 and it's like all these spirals and it's like vibrescent colors. 939 00:40:28.920 --> 00:40:31.159 And when it first starts to spin, I'm gonna be 940 00:40:31.199 --> 00:40:33.199 totally honest with you, it looks like a swasticker until 941 00:40:33.239 --> 00:40:36.039 it starts really picking up and you know, it starts 942 00:40:36.079 --> 00:40:37.760 to come out like this, you have things coming out 943 00:40:37.760 --> 00:40:41.039 from the full cardinal direction starting to spin. Keeping it 944 00:40:41.119 --> 00:40:43.559 realm was. 945 00:40:44.039 --> 00:40:44.880 A symbol of peace. 946 00:40:45.119 --> 00:40:48.039 Oh yeah, yeah, that's what I'm gonna be totally honest 947 00:40:48.079 --> 00:40:48.280 with you. 948 00:40:48.320 --> 00:40:49.719 That is one of the things I even say that 949 00:40:49.760 --> 00:40:51.039 I think it was one of the biggest things that 950 00:40:51.039 --> 00:40:52.719 that guy pulled off, is that I think he took 951 00:40:52.920 --> 00:40:56.280 an image or it took a symbol that is an 952 00:40:56.320 --> 00:40:59.480 image of having an experience with God and fucking perverted 953 00:40:59.480 --> 00:41:02.239 it and fuck hijacked and if anybody was to use it, 954 00:41:02.320 --> 00:41:05.599 you can't because it's fuck it's fucked up. But all right, 955 00:41:05.639 --> 00:41:08.079 so I start to see that it looks like it 956 00:41:08.079 --> 00:41:12.639 almost like like vibrating, like I don't just stuff coming out. 957 00:41:12.639 --> 00:41:15.960 It almost looks like it's pulsing out. And then that 958 00:41:16.159 --> 00:41:18.800 starts to turn into like geometric shapes. It almost looks 959 00:41:18.840 --> 00:41:21.480 like like tons of hexagrams and just like sacred geometry, 960 00:41:21.639 --> 00:41:24.840 just like like even flashing towards me, like out of 961 00:41:24.840 --> 00:41:27.400 the eclipse from the side, and I was just like, yo, 962 00:41:27.440 --> 00:41:28.440 this is fucking crazy. 963 00:41:29.159 --> 00:41:29.679 And then. 964 00:41:31.559 --> 00:41:34.920 That stops and it kind of gets like and at 965 00:41:34.920 --> 00:41:37.480 this point, like it even feels like like I'm deaf, 966 00:41:38.079 --> 00:41:41.679 Like I don't even hear anything anymore. It's just like, yeah, 967 00:41:41.679 --> 00:41:46.119 it's just complete silence. And now all of a sudden, 968 00:41:46.239 --> 00:41:49.159 and I've explained this a few ways, I'll try to 969 00:41:49.440 --> 00:41:52.079 hopefully it works. It starts to look like if people like, 970 00:41:52.079 --> 00:41:53.320 look at my logo. I don't know if you've ever 971 00:41:53.360 --> 00:41:56.480 seen it looks like two films are real coming out 972 00:41:56.480 --> 00:42:00.599 the side. If you take away the you know everything 973 00:42:00.599 --> 00:42:03.199 and just have those squares of images, it starts to 974 00:42:03.239 --> 00:42:07.039 look like like almost sideways doorways or whatever, these rectangle 975 00:42:08.079 --> 00:42:11.840 windows floating starts coming out of the eclipse on each side, 976 00:42:11.880 --> 00:42:14.440 but going really slow. And I've said, like if you 977 00:42:14.480 --> 00:42:17.039 were in a like train, station or a subway station 978 00:42:17.199 --> 00:42:19.159 near in the middle of the platform, and say two 979 00:42:19.239 --> 00:42:22.119 trains were coming down your way, going the same way, 980 00:42:22.159 --> 00:42:25.280 but going slow, and all you saw was the cart windows. 981 00:42:26.159 --> 00:42:28.559 That's exactly. You would just be like like all these 982 00:42:29.079 --> 00:42:33.800 different images and scenes. And then around that time is 983 00:42:33.840 --> 00:42:37.159 when I'll start to actually start feeling physical shit now 984 00:42:37.199 --> 00:42:40.519 that they'll stop being physical stuff that comes along with it. 985 00:42:40.480 --> 00:42:42.320 It will almost start to feel like a fluttering in 986 00:42:42.360 --> 00:42:45.840 my body. It will start down by my feet and 987 00:42:45.960 --> 00:42:48.760 it'll like it's gonna sound crazy. I don't know if 988 00:42:48.760 --> 00:42:50.440 you ever seen like the movie Tron where the guy 989 00:42:50.559 --> 00:42:52.639 like starts getting like they start zapping them and like 990 00:42:52.679 --> 00:42:55.199 sucking them into the computer. It's like if they started 991 00:42:55.239 --> 00:42:57.519 at my feet and started going up, and it's like like, 992 00:42:58.199 --> 00:43:00.760 I'll start feeling this feeling out at my feet, and 993 00:43:00.760 --> 00:43:02.559 by the time it gets up to my knees, anything 994 00:43:02.559 --> 00:43:04.400 below my feet I don't feel anymore. I mean, anything 995 00:43:04.440 --> 00:43:06.880 below my knees, I don't feel anymore. It feels like 996 00:43:06.920 --> 00:43:09.559 it's not even there, Like I'm just actually like non 997 00:43:09.599 --> 00:43:12.079 existent there anymore. And it starts to spread and start 998 00:43:12.119 --> 00:43:14.719 to go up, and it literally starts to feel. 999 00:43:14.440 --> 00:43:16.239 Like like you're actually disappearing. 1000 00:43:16.320 --> 00:43:19.039 You don't feel it anymore, but all the energy in 1001 00:43:19.039 --> 00:43:20.920 your body starts to feel like it's starting to compress 1002 00:43:21.559 --> 00:43:24.679 come up here. So now I'm seeing all this stuff 1003 00:43:24.679 --> 00:43:26.480 and like I'm starting to feel this feeling. I'm like, yoh, 1004 00:43:26.519 --> 00:43:29.360 what the fuck is this? And yeah, home wid It 1005 00:43:29.360 --> 00:43:31.119 didn't freak me out because I guess maybe I wasn't 1006 00:43:31.159 --> 00:43:35.480 like too worried about anything serious. So uh, I'm going on, 1007 00:43:35.599 --> 00:43:41.000 you know, I'm feeling that, and then uh, yeah, the 1008 00:43:41.119 --> 00:43:44.639 windows start going and there's there was one time when 1009 00:43:44.639 --> 00:43:46.679 I paid attention to the window and I could get 1010 00:43:46.679 --> 00:43:49.480 into that, but basically like I saw things in there, 1011 00:43:49.480 --> 00:43:51.360 but I really wasn't too like, oh what the fuck 1012 00:43:51.440 --> 00:43:53.159 is that. I'm just like thinking, like I'm just like, so, 1013 00:43:53.280 --> 00:43:54.280 what's gonna come next? 1014 00:43:55.000 --> 00:43:55.199 You know? 1015 00:43:55.280 --> 00:43:57.880 I just really just think it was just like a free, weird, 1016 00:43:58.000 --> 00:43:59.679 you know movie my mind was making up. 1017 00:44:01.320 --> 00:44:03.320 And then yeah, they go. 1018 00:44:03.360 --> 00:44:07.519 Away, and then I started feeling that energy going through 1019 00:44:07.519 --> 00:44:09.079 my body and all of a sudden, it feels like, 1020 00:44:09.480 --> 00:44:11.280 and I've explained this before, it's like maybe if I 1021 00:44:11.320 --> 00:44:13.639 was laying on the beach and like somehow it sounds crazy. 1022 00:44:13.639 --> 00:44:16.800 I cut the soles off on my feet and let 1023 00:44:16.880 --> 00:44:20.159 the water. When the water broke and came up the beach, 1024 00:44:20.880 --> 00:44:23.840 like it would like roll right through you, like go 1025 00:44:24.039 --> 00:44:25.960 through your body, fill you up, and go right out 1026 00:44:26.079 --> 00:44:28.119 out of you. Like literally felt like I was feeling 1027 00:44:28.199 --> 00:44:32.159 a stream of water starting to flutter through me. And 1028 00:44:32.199 --> 00:44:34.039 then all of a sudden, it comes up like up 1029 00:44:34.119 --> 00:44:36.280 to my head and then like right back here where 1030 00:44:36.280 --> 00:44:38.760 the Jews put their hat. It felt like all of 1031 00:44:38.800 --> 00:44:40.800 a sudden, it was just like something was like literally 1032 00:44:40.880 --> 00:44:41.800 like spray. 1033 00:44:41.559 --> 00:44:43.480 A leaking out of my fucking head. 1034 00:44:44.119 --> 00:44:48.159 And as that's happening, there's the clips is the black 1035 00:44:48.159 --> 00:44:50.199 part is starting to separate from the white, and now 1036 00:44:50.199 --> 00:44:53.159 it just looks like this crescent. I got this big, 1037 00:44:53.239 --> 00:44:54.840 like you know, I have this black sphere with this 1038 00:44:54.880 --> 00:44:56.679 white one behind it, and it moved up a little 1039 00:44:56.679 --> 00:44:59.000 bit and I have this big like crescent or like 1040 00:44:59.119 --> 00:45:02.599 fucking cheshire cat fucking smile staring at me, and it's 1041 00:45:02.639 --> 00:45:04.719 getting really fucking bright, and it starts the movie again 1042 00:45:04.760 --> 00:45:07.880 and go away. And as soon as the black sphere 1043 00:45:08.000 --> 00:45:10.800 pulls away from the white one, it's like, all of 1044 00:45:10.840 --> 00:45:12.880 a sudden, like when I was pushing on my pineal gland. 1045 00:45:12.920 --> 00:45:15.400 The whole time, it felt like something like just changed 1046 00:45:16.079 --> 00:45:18.440 and like somehow like changed polarity, and all of a sudden, 1047 00:45:18.440 --> 00:45:20.639 all that pressure came back at me and that white 1048 00:45:20.760 --> 00:45:24.039 light came flying towards like towards me with my eyes 1049 00:45:24.079 --> 00:45:27.320 closed in boom, all of a sudden, it felt like 1050 00:45:27.360 --> 00:45:29.559 I just fucking shot out of the back of my head. 1051 00:45:29.760 --> 00:45:32.360 It felt like I just turned into like a thousand butterflies, 1052 00:45:32.920 --> 00:45:35.199 and my whole vision just felt like like everything was 1053 00:45:35.239 --> 00:45:38.800 just starting to I was getting like pulled and like 1054 00:45:38.840 --> 00:45:41.079 whatever I'm witnessing, my body isn't there, and it's like 1055 00:45:41.119 --> 00:45:43.599 I'm just actually it's gonna sound crazy. I'm like part 1056 00:45:43.679 --> 00:45:46.519 of the fabric of what I'm looking at and all 1057 00:45:46.559 --> 00:45:50.239 and like all I feel just sound crazy, but like 1058 00:45:50.280 --> 00:45:52.960 I really mean it. Like it was a love that 1059 00:45:53.039 --> 00:45:55.559 I could never experience here on earth or I haven't yet. 1060 00:45:55.639 --> 00:45:58.559 It was a feeling that I could never get from drugs. 1061 00:45:58.800 --> 00:46:01.280 It's a feeling I could never get. It's a feeling 1062 00:46:01.360 --> 00:46:03.599 I could never get from loving somebody or you know, 1063 00:46:04.320 --> 00:46:06.639 a wife, a friend of my family, brother. 1064 00:46:06.679 --> 00:46:07.360 Whatever like that. 1065 00:46:08.360 --> 00:46:11.559 It was totally beyond that by a thousand, and it 1066 00:46:11.679 --> 00:46:14.599 just literally felt like my body or my whatever I 1067 00:46:14.800 --> 00:46:18.960 was was just vibrating that feeling, and it's just like 1068 00:46:19.079 --> 00:46:22.440 I'm just like witnessing. It's gonna sound crazy, but a 1069 00:46:22.440 --> 00:46:24.320 lot of the stuff that I saw, I would be like, 1070 00:46:24.360 --> 00:46:26.880 you know, it looks like shit. NASA would show it 1071 00:46:26.960 --> 00:46:29.199 like was just like blackness and just like lights and 1072 00:46:29.239 --> 00:46:34.360 colors and almost like space. And you know, it always 1073 00:46:34.480 --> 00:46:36.960 it ends up all last the bit and then all 1074 00:46:37.000 --> 00:46:39.920 of a sudden, for some reason, I'll start to think 1075 00:46:40.039 --> 00:46:42.679 like where am I or what am I doing or 1076 00:46:42.679 --> 00:46:45.360 what's going on? And as soon as I start thinking 1077 00:46:45.400 --> 00:46:49.079 about that, it fucking comes out of it. And so 1078 00:46:49.239 --> 00:46:52.320 like I came out of it the first time, and 1079 00:46:52.320 --> 00:46:53.679 then I always like all of a sudden, I opened 1080 00:46:53.760 --> 00:46:55.840 up my eyes when I came out of it, and 1081 00:46:55.880 --> 00:46:57.480 I saw it all of a sudden, just having this 1082 00:46:58.079 --> 00:47:00.880 serious well first off as it felt even weird, like 1083 00:47:00.920 --> 00:47:01.760 I actually. 1084 00:47:01.400 --> 00:47:03.719 Felt like there was like something like almost wrong with me, 1085 00:47:03.840 --> 00:47:04.239 like I was. 1086 00:47:04.760 --> 00:47:07.039 It's gonna sound crazy, but another reason why I think 1087 00:47:07.039 --> 00:47:09.119 there's something going on with your soul, because it honestly 1088 00:47:09.119 --> 00:47:11.960 feels like I was an overcharged battery, like I just 1089 00:47:12.079 --> 00:47:14.000 shoved myself back in there and I was like, no, 1090 00:47:14.119 --> 00:47:16.119 I don't want Like it was like I was stuffed 1091 00:47:16.159 --> 00:47:18.480 with too much or something it's hard to explain, like 1092 00:47:18.519 --> 00:47:20.199 I was ready to bust out of my seams again, 1093 00:47:21.039 --> 00:47:25.079 and all of a sudden, all these things start fluttering 1094 00:47:25.159 --> 00:47:27.480 into my mind where it's it's gonna sound crazy, but 1095 00:47:27.519 --> 00:47:29.920 this is something I've said that this has happened to 1096 00:47:29.960 --> 00:47:32.400 me every time I fucked with magic. I'd be honest, 1097 00:47:32.639 --> 00:47:35.960 I fucked with magic for this reason. I will open 1098 00:47:36.039 --> 00:47:37.719 up my eyes and no shit, I never knew prior. 1099 00:47:38.519 --> 00:47:40.119 It's all of a sudden, you just start getting these 1100 00:47:40.159 --> 00:47:42.360 fucking voices or these fucking images in your head, and 1101 00:47:42.360 --> 00:47:44.599 it starts like putting puzzles together, and you start getting 1102 00:47:44.599 --> 00:47:47.000 these ideas or things that you didn't understand. All of 1103 00:47:47.039 --> 00:47:49.079 a sudden, the answer is screaming in your fucking head. 1104 00:47:50.159 --> 00:47:52.360 So like I have for these I don't know how long. 1105 00:47:52.440 --> 00:47:54.400 All I've been doing is studying the occult and you know, 1106 00:47:54.480 --> 00:47:56.679 images tarot, so it's like that's the only shit in 1107 00:47:56.719 --> 00:47:58.880 my head. So everything just starts fucking going together and 1108 00:47:58.920 --> 00:48:01.360 all these things just start and I'm like, what the fuck. 1109 00:48:02.760 --> 00:48:05.159 And then when I started taking into consideration that death 1110 00:48:05.239 --> 00:48:06.239 might actually be real. 1111 00:48:06.440 --> 00:48:07.400 Then it just seemed like. 1112 00:48:07.360 --> 00:48:10.519 You if you actually put that in there, a lot 1113 00:48:10.559 --> 00:48:13.039 of stuff and occultism starts to make more fucking sense, 1114 00:48:13.039 --> 00:48:16.639 I actually think. But so I had that experience. One 1115 00:48:16.679 --> 00:48:18.639 of the things too, from that experience that happens to 1116 00:48:18.679 --> 00:48:21.599 me every time is my pupils will change. One of 1117 00:48:21.639 --> 00:48:23.559 them will get pinned and the other one will get huge. 1118 00:48:24.559 --> 00:48:26.719 I don't know if I don't know if this guy 1119 00:48:26.800 --> 00:48:29.159 has an issue. I had seen one video because people 1120 00:48:29.159 --> 00:48:30.840 were making fun of him or saying, what the fuck's 1121 00:48:30.880 --> 00:48:32.960 up with it? And I made a comment that that 1122 00:48:33.119 --> 00:48:35.199 happens to me when I have a magical experience. And 1123 00:48:35.199 --> 00:48:37.400 then someone's like, oh, he's got so and so problems 1124 00:48:37.400 --> 00:48:39.599 with the Liver King, and he was acting out, going crazy, 1125 00:48:40.079 --> 00:48:42.519 talking shit to Joe Rogan and that motherfucker's got one 1126 00:48:42.559 --> 00:48:45.960 pupil gigantic and the other one's fucking small. And I've 1127 00:48:46.000 --> 00:48:47.960 said before, I said, if you fuck with magic too much, 1128 00:48:48.000 --> 00:48:50.000 you'll end up like Joe Biden and Kanye West. I mean, 1129 00:48:50.000 --> 00:48:51.599 the Liver King was kind of acting like either one 1130 00:48:51.639 --> 00:48:54.320 of them at that point. Maybe he was fucking with magic, 1131 00:48:54.480 --> 00:48:55.840 maybe he was a little bit too out there. And 1132 00:48:55.840 --> 00:48:58.199 he was just fucking you. He wasn't he didn't reacclimate 1133 00:48:58.239 --> 00:49:01.119 to reality yet, and he was just acting silly and stupid. 1134 00:49:01.880 --> 00:49:03.599 But uh, that will happen to me. 1135 00:49:05.360 --> 00:49:09.480 And I even at one point, at one point, I 1136 00:49:09.679 --> 00:49:12.079 ended up fucking around with Magic probably about three times 1137 00:49:12.079 --> 00:49:14.880 in a week. And I will be totally honest with you. 1138 00:49:15.360 --> 00:49:18.199 That put me physically and mentally. I was just like, yo, 1139 00:49:18.239 --> 00:49:19.719 I need to go to the hospital. I think there's 1140 00:49:19.760 --> 00:49:20.440 something wrong with me. 1141 00:49:21.119 --> 00:49:22.519 Oh shit, well that sounds crazy. 1142 00:49:22.519 --> 00:49:24.239 And the shit with my eyes was freaking me out too, 1143 00:49:24.239 --> 00:49:25.800 because it was like, what the fuck is wrong with 1144 00:49:25.840 --> 00:49:26.480 my eyeballs? 1145 00:49:27.719 --> 00:49:29.760 I'm like, yo, why is one gigantic and the other 1146 00:49:29.800 --> 00:49:30.280 one small? 1147 00:49:30.320 --> 00:49:33.559 I was like, it's kind fucking weird, and it felt 1148 00:49:33.599 --> 00:49:35.360 like it felt like I was like again, like I 1149 00:49:35.360 --> 00:49:37.519 felt like somebody like hooked me up to a battery 1150 00:49:37.599 --> 00:49:39.239 charger and now I was like, you gotta one plug me. 1151 00:49:39.239 --> 00:49:42.480 I'm gonna fucking explode. Like I can't even release the energy. 1152 00:49:42.639 --> 00:49:45.039 I know they go fast enough. So I was just 1153 00:49:45.039 --> 00:49:47.280 like even felt uncomfortable. I literally felt like I had 1154 00:49:47.320 --> 00:49:49.599 fucking static electricity. That was another thing, like literally up 1155 00:49:49.639 --> 00:49:51.960 and down my legs. Bro At one point, I was like, yo, 1156 00:49:52.000 --> 00:49:53.559 it's like either it feels like static or it's like, 1157 00:49:53.559 --> 00:49:54.400 you know, am I going crazy? 1158 00:49:54.440 --> 00:49:54.559 Thing? 1159 00:49:54.599 --> 00:49:56.760 I got spiders on me, you know. I was like, oh, 1160 00:49:56.760 --> 00:49:58.440 I gotta get the fuck out of you. I was like, yo, 1161 00:49:58.440 --> 00:49:59.320 I think there's something wrong. 1162 00:49:59.480 --> 00:50:01.559 Yo, my too. That was another thing. 1163 00:50:01.599 --> 00:50:04.159 I was even like before I left, this is crazy, 1164 00:50:04.440 --> 00:50:06.440 but like it was only a few blocks away, but 1165 00:50:06.519 --> 00:50:08.559 like I'm you know, I'm like all fucked up. I 1166 00:50:08.559 --> 00:50:11.480 physically don't feel you know, my legs are even twitching, 1167 00:50:11.559 --> 00:50:13.920 my eyes, you know, my sight he's even like a 1168 00:50:13.920 --> 00:50:16.320 little love. I drove myself to the park and I 1169 00:50:16.360 --> 00:50:17.679 was like, let me just chill out over there and 1170 00:50:17.719 --> 00:50:19.920 walk around. Maybe I'll feel a little bit better. I'm 1171 00:50:19.920 --> 00:50:21.760 walking through the fucking park and it's like, you know, 1172 00:50:21.800 --> 00:50:23.679 I'm like looking down at the distance and you could 1173 00:50:23.679 --> 00:50:25.920 see like somebody would be walking up with their dog, 1174 00:50:26.320 --> 00:50:28.719 and instead of like me seeing them just like walking 1175 00:50:28.760 --> 00:50:31.119 normally with their dog, They're showing up as like light 1176 00:50:31.159 --> 00:50:32.800 shooting out of the ground and then forming into a 1177 00:50:32.840 --> 00:50:34.559 person and their dog, and I'm just like, yo, what 1178 00:50:34.599 --> 00:50:35.039 the fuck. 1179 00:50:36.159 --> 00:50:39.239 I was like, just something wrong with me. So I 1180 00:50:39.280 --> 00:50:40.239 was like, fuck this. 1181 00:50:40.360 --> 00:50:42.679 I drove myself to the hospital ten minutes down the road. 1182 00:50:43.199 --> 00:50:46.079 I was like, yo, I was like, what the fuck 1183 00:50:46.119 --> 00:50:48.679 is wrong. I'll be honest, I was freaked out at first. 1184 00:50:49.000 --> 00:50:50.960 I mean, I'm like, seeing shit, that's not normal. I'm 1185 00:50:50.960 --> 00:50:54.320 having physical issues. I didn't feel good. I went to 1186 00:50:54.360 --> 00:50:56.000 the hospital. They ended up keeping me there for like 1187 00:50:56.000 --> 00:50:59.800 two or three days. Basically said we think you have migraines. 1188 00:51:00.559 --> 00:51:02.559 But the one thing that I thought was interesting is 1189 00:51:02.559 --> 00:51:05.400 that they checked my blood and they did say, uh 1190 00:51:05.519 --> 00:51:08.639 yahemoglobin is jacked up to like sixteen point nine. I 1191 00:51:08.639 --> 00:51:11.679 think it's supposed to be around thirteen or fourteen. They 1192 00:51:11.719 --> 00:51:13.000 had to give me a bag of blood and a 1193 00:51:13.000 --> 00:51:14.639 bag of saline, and then they're like, you know, you 1194 00:51:14.719 --> 00:51:16.760 might want to They had me go to a place 1195 00:51:16.840 --> 00:51:19.079 to where they thought I actually had this issue where 1196 00:51:19.119 --> 00:51:22.199 some people they don't know why the hemoglobin will get 1197 00:51:22.280 --> 00:51:23.920 jacked up and you'll have to go once a month 1198 00:51:23.960 --> 00:51:25.239 to like get blood to kind. 1199 00:51:25.079 --> 00:51:26.840 Of basically thin you out. I'm like, oh my. 1200 00:51:26.800 --> 00:51:28.719 God, Like, who the fuck, how the fuck can you 1201 00:51:28.800 --> 00:51:32.119 get this? I don't have it. Because I went the 1202 00:51:32.159 --> 00:51:34.360 next time and they're like you're good. They're like, you 1203 00:51:34.400 --> 00:51:36.840 don't need anything, come back one more time, just to 1204 00:51:36.880 --> 00:51:38.960 make sure. You know, we think it's probably a fluke. 1205 00:51:39.000 --> 00:51:40.320 It was just a weird thing that happened to you. 1206 00:51:40.880 --> 00:51:45.280 Never happened again. So but something that is interesting, though 1207 00:51:45.360 --> 00:51:47.320 I don't know much about it. I gotta get like 1208 00:51:47.360 --> 00:51:48.840 me and my co host Lie, so we need to 1209 00:51:48.880 --> 00:51:51.880 really like look into it more. But like that issue 1210 00:51:51.920 --> 00:51:54.840 does also involve plasma in your blood, which basically is 1211 00:51:54.880 --> 00:51:57.719 like light. So I do wonder if, like you know, 1212 00:51:57.719 --> 00:52:00.280 when they get into the hole your adrenochrome with that 1213 00:52:00.320 --> 00:52:02.920 type of shit, is there actually something in your blood 1214 00:52:02.920 --> 00:52:05.320 that you're burning up when you're or that you're utilizing, 1215 00:52:05.320 --> 00:52:07.440 you're using or you're depleting or whatever when you have 1216 00:52:07.440 --> 00:52:08.519 a magical experience. 1217 00:52:09.920 --> 00:52:11.880 Yeah, I believe that. 1218 00:52:12.719 --> 00:52:15.719 Yeah, but uh so like you know, and then you know, 1219 00:52:15.760 --> 00:52:18.440 eventually believe it. And I took about a month my 1220 00:52:18.440 --> 00:52:19.519 eyes to go back to normal. 1221 00:52:20.519 --> 00:52:21.119 Holy shit. 1222 00:52:21.320 --> 00:52:23.719 Yeah yeah, yeah, even I was in the hospital for 1223 00:52:23.800 --> 00:52:27.920 three days. And then I think my uh, eye doctor 1224 00:52:28.199 --> 00:52:31.639 because they were like, your eyes seem fine, but this 1225 00:52:31.679 --> 00:52:32.480 isn't normal, so you. 1226 00:52:32.440 --> 00:52:34.039 Should really go see its specialist. 1227 00:52:34.559 --> 00:52:37.760 They're all like, yeah, there's gotta be something that's gotta 1228 00:52:37.760 --> 00:52:38.280 be something here. 1229 00:52:38.800 --> 00:52:38.920 Yo. 1230 00:52:39.000 --> 00:52:41.119 Even when I went to go see this lady, she 1231 00:52:41.239 --> 00:52:43.119 you know, did all these says and she's like, I 1232 00:52:43.119 --> 00:52:44.800 can't tell you what the problem is. And she's like, 1233 00:52:44.840 --> 00:52:46.920 the thing is like your eyesight's fine, like you're seeing 1234 00:52:46.960 --> 00:52:49.280 everything fine, So I can't even tell you, like if 1235 00:52:49.320 --> 00:52:52.320 it's a problem or not. She's and I did say, 1236 00:52:52.320 --> 00:52:54.159 it looked like it got a little bit smaller since 1237 00:52:54.159 --> 00:52:55.679 I've seen her, you know, it got better. 1238 00:52:55.760 --> 00:52:57.599 So she's like, maybe we'll just go back to normal. 1239 00:52:58.320 --> 00:52:59.840 And then I was like, yo, I was like, this 1240 00:53:00.199 --> 00:53:03.079 sound crazy because even when I had this magical experience 1241 00:53:03.079 --> 00:53:05.239 with these last few I don't remember which one it was, 1242 00:53:05.760 --> 00:53:08.280 something started me thinking, oh, it was probably because of 1243 00:53:08.280 --> 00:53:10.960 my eyes getting fucked up. Something started making me thinking 1244 00:53:11.000 --> 00:53:14.400 you gotta look into the eyeballs, like whatever, this is 1245 00:53:14.519 --> 00:53:15.559 like something up with the eyes. 1246 00:53:15.559 --> 00:53:16.199 I have a feeling. 1247 00:53:16.840 --> 00:53:18.679 And I was just like I had asked her. I 1248 00:53:18.719 --> 00:53:20.480 was like, goes these sound crazy? I said, but is 1249 00:53:20.519 --> 00:53:22.920 it possible to where you could like actually look back 1250 00:53:22.960 --> 00:53:25.559 into your brain? You know, is there a wayhere you 1251 00:53:25.559 --> 00:53:28.760 could shine light back there? And then she starts going no. 1252 00:53:29.119 --> 00:53:31.800 She's like she's like no, She's like impossible, for your 1253 00:53:31.800 --> 00:53:32.960 eye to actually turned back there. 1254 00:53:33.360 --> 00:53:34.880 And she's like well, and she's like, well, let me 1255 00:53:35.000 --> 00:53:35.639 like explain to. 1256 00:53:35.639 --> 00:53:37.519 Your real quick how vision works so you can even 1257 00:53:37.599 --> 00:53:40.800 understand why I'm saying that's not possible. And she starts 1258 00:53:40.880 --> 00:53:43.280 drawing like how like the light reflects off of your 1259 00:53:43.320 --> 00:53:46.480 lens and everything, but how it will go back into 1260 00:53:46.480 --> 00:53:48.599 your eye. So she is explaining like you know it 1261 00:53:48.599 --> 00:53:51.480 does reflect actually, but your eye is not turning, and 1262 00:53:51.519 --> 00:53:53.760 she's drawing this thing and I'm like, yo. I was like, 1263 00:53:54.320 --> 00:53:58.000 it's the same fucking thing on my own. Lady, she 1264 00:53:58.159 --> 00:54:01.960 legit drew the fucking basically that as showing me how 1265 00:54:01.960 --> 00:54:05.039 the light reflects off of my eye, my eyelind, my lens, 1266 00:54:05.639 --> 00:54:07.679 and I fucking showed on my tattoo. I said, Yo, 1267 00:54:08.199 --> 00:54:10.880 kind of looks like that, doesn't it. And she's looking 1268 00:54:10.880 --> 00:54:14.880 at that. She's like, she's like, yo, she what's that from? 1269 00:54:16.639 --> 00:54:20.079 I'm into magic and she's looking at me. I say 1270 00:54:20.119 --> 00:54:23.760 A secret society and she's looking at me. She's like yo, 1271 00:54:23.840 --> 00:54:25.719 and I'm like, oh fuck, I totally waited. This lady 1272 00:54:25.800 --> 00:54:27.679 was like what the fuck? I wish I would have 1273 00:54:27.760 --> 00:54:29.159 kept in touch with her, but she was like, do 1274 00:54:29.199 --> 00:54:31.199 you think it's possible you could get the paperwork from 1275 00:54:31.239 --> 00:54:33.440 your hospital about like your old Because I explained to 1276 00:54:33.480 --> 00:54:35.719 the whole thing. I was like, yeah, why, She's like, 1277 00:54:35.719 --> 00:54:37.280 I really like to look at it. And she's like, 1278 00:54:37.400 --> 00:54:40.039 especially like some of the other stuff. She's like, I'm 1279 00:54:40.119 --> 00:54:41.719 very open. She's like, I think, how did she say? 1280 00:54:41.800 --> 00:54:43.400 She's like, I think there's a lot of things out 1281 00:54:43.440 --> 00:54:45.480 there that we can't see her in the stand, but 1282 00:54:45.519 --> 00:54:45.960 it's real. 1283 00:54:47.239 --> 00:54:50.400 And I was like, oh shit. I never I never 1284 00:54:50.440 --> 00:54:51.920 got back in touch with her. I ever sent her 1285 00:54:51.920 --> 00:54:54.559 this shit over. But yeah, I totally fucked her up. 1286 00:54:54.559 --> 00:54:55.039 But she saw it. 1287 00:54:55.079 --> 00:54:57.559 She never even finished. She never even finished explaining what 1288 00:54:57.599 --> 00:54:59.440 she was trying to explain because I showed her that shiit. 1289 00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.679 He was like yo, what yeah, and then started asking 1290 00:55:02.800 --> 00:55:05.480 me about the paperwork to send the I never did, 1291 00:55:05.559 --> 00:55:07.119 but I was like, yo, I must have got her attention. 1292 00:55:07.159 --> 00:55:08.440 She did even finish what she was saying. 1293 00:55:08.920 --> 00:55:12.920 Yeah, yeah, she was intrigued. Yeah. Yeah, She's like I 1294 00:55:12.960 --> 00:55:14.679 always thought there was something. 1295 00:55:16.119 --> 00:55:19.239 Yeah yeah, so uh but yeah, I mean that was 1296 00:55:19.880 --> 00:55:21.800 I mean, it was probably quicker than I've told some 1297 00:55:21.880 --> 00:55:24.440 other times. It probably wasn't as a fantastical, but like 1298 00:55:24.519 --> 00:55:27.719 that was like, you know, my magical experiences. 1299 00:55:27.760 --> 00:55:30.840 I do believe that, as crazy as it sounds. 1300 00:55:30.880 --> 00:55:33.480 And again it's not to get brownie points, but I 1301 00:55:33.519 --> 00:55:35.239 do think to have an experience with God, you do 1302 00:55:35.400 --> 00:55:37.440 have to kind of separate the flesh from the soul. 1303 00:55:38.000 --> 00:55:39.119 Oh yeah, absolutely. 1304 00:55:39.199 --> 00:55:41.719 I don't think like God is gonna I mean, I 1305 00:55:41.760 --> 00:55:43.320 believe God is in everything, but I think if you 1306 00:55:43.400 --> 00:55:45.000 really want to go back to the source, you kind 1307 00:55:45.000 --> 00:55:47.800 of have to go to God. God's not coming to you. 1308 00:55:48.800 --> 00:55:51.840 I feel, if I even want to look at it cabalistically, 1309 00:55:51.880 --> 00:55:53.559 it's just the way I look at it. I turned 1310 00:55:53.599 --> 00:55:56.280 my back from God and walked away from him. It 1311 00:55:56.559 --> 00:55:59.320 her you know, He's still there, just waiting for me 1312 00:55:59.360 --> 00:55:59.880 to come back. 1313 00:56:00.639 --> 00:56:01.159 Yeah. 1314 00:56:01.519 --> 00:56:08.639 I think I think he'll put like opportunities for you 1315 00:56:08.719 --> 00:56:09.840 to seek him out. 1316 00:56:10.079 --> 00:56:13.079 Oh, constantly, constantly. 1317 00:56:12.719 --> 00:56:15.320 For I've talked about this on the show. 1318 00:56:17.280 --> 00:56:19.960 Yeah, I've talked about this a few times on the 1319 00:56:20.000 --> 00:56:23.000 podcast My Kids. All of a sudden, well, my son 1320 00:56:23.320 --> 00:56:27.400 originally randomly started talking about God, and he started he 1321 00:56:27.480 --> 00:56:32.000 made a TikTok where he posts uh uh scripture like 1322 00:56:32.159 --> 00:56:34.800 just like a pair like the paragraphs out of the 1323 00:56:34.800 --> 00:56:38.119 Bible and stuff. I don't know if he's like doing 1324 00:56:38.159 --> 00:56:40.360 it all the time, but he had He did start 1325 00:56:40.400 --> 00:56:41.440 one and he was talking to me. 1326 00:56:41.559 --> 00:56:45.239 He was talking to me about God and whatnot. 1327 00:56:45.880 --> 00:56:50.239 And I asked him if he believed, and he goes, yeah, 1328 00:56:50.280 --> 00:56:51.440 I do, and and. 1329 00:56:51.400 --> 00:56:52.039 Stuff like that. 1330 00:56:52.119 --> 00:56:54.880 And then all of a sudden, my my daughter is like, 1331 00:56:54.960 --> 00:56:57.760 can I get for Christmas? This is this just this 1332 00:56:57.840 --> 00:57:00.400 past Christmas? She was, can I get a Bible instead 1333 00:57:00.400 --> 00:57:03.719 of an iPad? And I was like, you can definitely 1334 00:57:03.719 --> 00:57:06.039 get a Bible instead of an iPad. But I'm going 1335 00:57:06.119 --> 00:57:08.440 to tell you this right now. Your mother already bought 1336 00:57:08.440 --> 00:57:11.920 you an iPad, so you're getting the iPad either way. 1337 00:57:12.880 --> 00:57:18.840 But like to me, that was like, hey, man, come 1338 00:57:18.880 --> 00:57:21.559 back to me kind of thing, Like, I like, the 1339 00:57:22.800 --> 00:57:24.960 most beneficial the best way to. 1340 00:57:24.960 --> 00:57:27.079 Get to me is through my kids. And that was 1341 00:57:27.559 --> 00:57:28.280 negative or. 1342 00:57:28.280 --> 00:57:30.280 Positive if you want to if you want to get 1343 00:57:30.280 --> 00:57:34.400 to me positively, you do something that's good with my kids. 1344 00:57:34.440 --> 00:57:37.239 You want to get a negative reaction, you do something 1345 00:57:37.280 --> 00:57:40.159 negative with my kids, and you know, then there's a 1346 00:57:40.159 --> 00:57:42.800 possibility that I'll be in jail if you do something 1347 00:57:42.880 --> 00:57:43.920 negative with my kids. 1348 00:57:45.639 --> 00:57:48.000 I definitely know what you mean though, Yeah, definitely definitely 1349 00:57:48.000 --> 00:57:49.760 way to catch at three kids. 1350 00:57:50.079 --> 00:57:52.800 Yeah, it definitely sparked something in me to where I'm 1351 00:57:52.920 --> 00:57:57.199 just like, dude, what is going on? And I'm like 1352 00:57:57.280 --> 00:57:59.199 at the point where now I think I want to 1353 00:57:59.199 --> 00:58:03.239 get baptized. Shit, oh nice, so go for it. 1354 00:58:04.119 --> 00:58:06.000 Yeah, man, I. 1355 00:58:05.360 --> 00:58:05.800 Had to do that. 1356 00:58:06.599 --> 00:58:09.360 It's been an issue for the longest time with me. 1357 00:58:09.719 --> 00:58:12.519 But like like you said, like you're never gonna shut 1358 00:58:12.559 --> 00:58:14.119 your brain completely. 1359 00:58:13.599 --> 00:58:15.480 Off, it would be nice. 1360 00:58:16.079 --> 00:58:19.079 But if you could just focus on something one one thing, 1361 00:58:19.480 --> 00:58:23.400 or even if maybe two things and just kind of 1362 00:58:23.400 --> 00:58:25.840 hone in on that, I think that that would be beneficial. 1363 00:58:26.400 --> 00:58:30.840 And I think nature plays a lot into into being 1364 00:58:30.880 --> 00:58:33.679 able to quiet yourself and to find yourself too. Like 1365 00:58:34.000 --> 00:58:39.320 spent spent connecting yourself to earth, grounding yourself as as beneficial. 1366 00:58:39.440 --> 00:58:42.159 That was one thing, and I swear sometimes I wonder 1367 00:58:42.159 --> 00:58:44.000 if I had anything to do with it. But before 1368 00:58:44.039 --> 00:58:47.840 I started having my magical experiences, I was like severely 1369 00:58:47.880 --> 00:58:49.039 spending a lot of time. 1370 00:58:48.800 --> 00:58:51.079 A like parks or in nature, you know. 1371 00:58:51.239 --> 00:58:53.079 And honestly it was more or less because of the 1372 00:58:53.079 --> 00:58:55.880 whole situation with COVID. I wasn't somebody wanted to be 1373 00:58:55.880 --> 00:58:57.639 stuck inside, So I was like well, like go to 1374 00:58:57.639 --> 00:59:00.480 the parks because like people are too scaredy go there. 1375 00:59:00.559 --> 00:59:02.559 So it's like, you know, it's kind of empty, you know. 1376 00:59:02.719 --> 00:59:04.599 So I was even spending a lot of time just 1377 00:59:04.639 --> 00:59:07.519 even out in nature and shit. So I have actually wondered, 1378 00:59:07.559 --> 00:59:10.159 like did that have anything to do with it? Because 1379 00:59:10.159 --> 00:59:13.320 I'm sure, honestly my experience was probably due to a 1380 00:59:13.360 --> 00:59:15.360 concoction of things that made that happen. 1381 00:59:15.559 --> 00:59:18.920 You know, I'm sure, oh yeah, yeah, this is this 1382 00:59:19.360 --> 00:59:23.199 you're ac cultic knowledge. And then obviously like I think 1383 00:59:23.239 --> 00:59:25.840 that's what I think, tying the nature thing into it, 1384 00:59:26.000 --> 00:59:30.719 and and then you you're just doing it, you know, 1385 00:59:31.119 --> 00:59:34.360 just get get trying to get into that meditation shit, 1386 00:59:34.599 --> 00:59:38.239 and it's like, hey man, you're gonna see some shit. 1387 00:59:39.559 --> 00:59:41.639 No, That's the one thing I will say too, even 1388 00:59:41.639 --> 00:59:45.559 when it comes to like magic, uh, I think sometimes 1389 00:59:45.559 --> 00:59:47.199 like people like if they want to get into it, 1390 00:59:47.280 --> 00:59:50.079 like you know, if you take my experience as you know, 1391 00:59:50.119 --> 00:59:53.119 it's true, you may get answers to God may tell 1392 00:59:53.119 --> 00:59:54.679 you things that were like shit, I wasn't ready for 1393 00:59:54.719 --> 00:59:55.039 that one. 1394 00:59:55.079 --> 00:59:56.119 Bro mm hmm. 1395 00:59:56.559 --> 00:59:58.840 Like you might hear some hard truths that you might 1396 00:59:58.880 --> 01:00:01.960 have to accept, you know, like for me, it rocked 1397 01:00:02.079 --> 01:00:04.880 my world and changed my view of reality. I could 1398 01:00:04.920 --> 01:00:07.280 never go back. It's like a you know, once you 1399 01:00:07.760 --> 01:00:09.000 becomes a pickle, you can't go back. 1400 01:00:09.880 --> 01:00:10.320 It's done. 1401 01:00:11.599 --> 01:00:17.840 Oh yeah, you're like, funk, I ain't ship. I Like, 1402 01:00:20.519 --> 01:00:23.039 I'm like, fuck, yo, for real, I really at ship? 1403 01:00:24.320 --> 01:00:27.440 This is unreal and uh yeah no, but you know, 1404 01:00:27.480 --> 01:00:29.119 there was just like for me, it's just like, you know, 1405 01:00:29.159 --> 01:00:31.440 for certain things of my reality, just for me, you know, 1406 01:00:31.719 --> 01:00:34.199 or even just being like, I'll be totally honest what 1407 01:00:34.199 --> 01:00:35.480 it was hard for me to accept. I was like, 1408 01:00:35.519 --> 01:00:40.039 I just had the most beautiful, beyond dreams experience and 1409 01:00:40.079 --> 01:00:41.079 I have to come back here. 1410 01:00:41.960 --> 01:00:45.280 That's not fair. That's I'm like, yo, what did I 1411 01:00:45.320 --> 01:00:46.039 do wrong? Man? 1412 01:00:46.280 --> 01:00:47.599 Like, why did you send? 1413 01:00:47.920 --> 01:00:48.119 Yeah? 1414 01:00:48.119 --> 01:00:49.000 I'm like, yo, is this hell? 1415 01:00:49.320 --> 01:00:49.440 Like? 1416 01:00:52.360 --> 01:00:55.800 But I was just like it's getting very close. It's 1417 01:00:55.840 --> 01:00:56.559 like on the urge. 1418 01:00:57.039 --> 01:01:01.480 Yeah, I think what somebody say, Uh, we're like the 1419 01:01:01.519 --> 01:01:03.239 worst part of heaven and the best part of hell. 1420 01:01:04.800 --> 01:01:05.719 We're stuck in between. 1421 01:01:08.119 --> 01:01:10.400 Oh man, purgatory too. 1422 01:01:10.599 --> 01:01:12.880 I don't know what the fuck that would be, but 1423 01:01:13.039 --> 01:01:19.000 that sounds maybe that's you crazy? This could yeah this actually, yeah, 1424 01:01:19.000 --> 01:01:22.239 this could be purgatory. 1425 01:01:21.119 --> 01:01:22.880 Even religious people do wonder that too. 1426 01:01:23.440 --> 01:01:28.000 Yeah, like we're because we're waiting to die essentially, that's 1427 01:01:28.039 --> 01:01:32.639 all we're doing here, so and then from there that's. 1428 01:01:32.480 --> 01:01:34.480 Where we're going to wherever. I don't know. 1429 01:01:34.880 --> 01:01:37.360 There's so there's so many things that, so many different 1430 01:01:37.360 --> 01:01:41.679 things about death that I believe or that I'm like, 1431 01:01:41.920 --> 01:01:44.360 oh well maybe, or that I want to believe, Like 1432 01:01:44.400 --> 01:01:47.239 there's things like for our souls to live on, Like 1433 01:01:47.280 --> 01:01:49.079 I want to believe that. 1434 01:01:49.119 --> 01:01:51.079 Right, I do believe that. 1435 01:01:51.199 --> 01:01:53.719 Actually I was always kind of like iffy about that, 1436 01:01:53.840 --> 01:01:56.159 but from my magical experience, for some reason for me, 1437 01:01:56.199 --> 01:01:58.519 it's just I do believe in reincarnation. 1438 01:01:59.480 --> 01:02:06.679 Yeah, reincarnation scary because then like reincarnation, you don't remember. 1439 01:02:06.320 --> 01:02:07.960 Who you were exactly. 1440 01:02:08.000 --> 01:02:12.559 That's that's that's a scary part of it. I guess 1441 01:02:12.599 --> 01:02:14.400 that's what makes you have to have the journey all 1442 01:02:14.400 --> 01:02:15.719 over again, right, I don't know. 1443 01:02:16.000 --> 01:02:18.920 Yeah, the new new lessons to learn and all that ship. 1444 01:02:19.199 --> 01:02:23.039 So I do believe like anger has been anger and 1445 01:02:23.119 --> 01:02:27.199 patience were like I had to overcome anger and learn 1446 01:02:27.360 --> 01:02:30.519 patience is what I think has been my. 1447 01:02:32.079 --> 01:02:35.079 Journey in this life has been. 1448 01:02:35.119 --> 01:02:38.280 And I think talking to a couple of mediums and 1449 01:02:38.320 --> 01:02:42.079 stuff like that. I think that's been what I have 1450 01:02:42.199 --> 01:02:45.599 been supposed to be learning throughout a few lifetimes now, 1451 01:02:45.960 --> 01:02:47.760 and I just haven't gotten there yet. 1452 01:02:49.320 --> 01:02:52.320 So yeah, I mean, who knows, who knows. 1453 01:02:52.360 --> 01:02:54.159 I spent a lot of my life being angry and 1454 01:02:54.199 --> 01:02:56.719 now I'm just more like me fearful. 1455 01:02:57.719 --> 01:02:58.159 Yeah. 1456 01:02:58.360 --> 01:03:02.320 Yeah, Well, Nick man, dude, that was a crazy experience 1457 01:03:02.960 --> 01:03:07.400 that I want to explore more knowledge and into that, 1458 01:03:07.599 --> 01:03:09.119 into that stuff for sure. 1459 01:03:09.000 --> 01:03:11.360 Even rituals and stuff too. I could you know, not. 1460 01:03:11.760 --> 01:03:13.960 Whatever, you know what I'm saying, explain h Yeah, yeah, right, 1461 01:03:14.440 --> 01:03:16.400 but you're definitely I definitely want to have you come 1462 01:03:16.440 --> 01:03:17.519 back on soon. 1463 01:03:18.199 --> 01:03:19.840 So but if you. 1464 01:03:19.760 --> 01:03:23.079 Don't mind, let everybody know one last time where they 1465 01:03:23.079 --> 01:03:25.400 can find you and all all your show and stuff. 1466 01:03:25.519 --> 01:03:29.079 Sure, thank you very much. Uh yeah, the Occult rechecks. 1467 01:03:29.159 --> 01:03:33.440 It's on bit shoot, Rumble, YouTube, all major podcasts. 1468 01:03:33.639 --> 01:03:33.800 Uh. 1469 01:03:33.880 --> 01:03:35.800 Then we do have I forgot to mention it before, 1470 01:03:36.400 --> 01:03:40.119 Occult Research Institute dot org. We do have that website 1471 01:03:40.360 --> 01:03:42.199 that is a lot of the occult rejecks or people 1472 01:03:42.199 --> 01:03:45.320 that we work with that if you're into reading a 1473 01:03:45.320 --> 01:03:49.119 lot of long form reading, a lot of us even 1474 01:03:49.159 --> 01:03:51.679 like scientific paperwork, that somebody's put up there on orgone 1475 01:03:51.719 --> 01:03:53.760 that they've done. You know, there's a lot of reading 1476 01:03:53.800 --> 01:03:55.599 and there might be some videos. You know, we have 1477 01:03:55.679 --> 01:03:57.960 some people that might have added some of their YouTube videos. 1478 01:03:57.960 --> 01:03:59.920 But if you're into reading, there's a lot of information 1479 01:04:00.079 --> 01:04:02.280 on that website and it's free, so check it out. 1480 01:04:02.480 --> 01:04:05.199 Cult Research Institute dot org and the Ocult Rejects on 1481 01:04:05.280 --> 01:04:06.760 the one Major podcast. 1482 01:04:07.360 --> 01:04:08.679 Nice man, Nice. 1483 01:04:08.840 --> 01:04:10.960 One last question I have for you real quick before 1484 01:04:10.960 --> 01:04:14.280 I let you go, is are you finding fulfillment in 1485 01:04:14.320 --> 01:04:17.280 your life doing your podcast and all that stuff? 1486 01:04:17.920 --> 01:04:18.159 Yeah? 1487 01:04:18.199 --> 01:04:20.599 I actually is going to sound cheesy as hell, but 1488 01:04:20.639 --> 01:04:23.519 after my magical experience, I actually do believe that if 1489 01:04:23.559 --> 01:04:25.280 I was given a gift from God, the only thing 1490 01:04:25.280 --> 01:04:26.719 I should be doing with that is trying to help 1491 01:04:26.719 --> 01:04:30.000 others have the same experience. And part of my podcasting 1492 01:04:30.079 --> 01:04:32.119 is doing that. So yes, it's fulfilling me and I 1493 01:04:32.119 --> 01:04:33.280 do believe I'm doing my will. 1494 01:04:33.320 --> 01:04:33.679 Actually. 1495 01:04:34.519 --> 01:04:36.320 Dope, man, Dope, I like that. 1496 01:04:36.800 --> 01:04:37.239 I like that. 1497 01:04:38.440 --> 01:04:41.000 Well, man, thank you for taking the time to do this. 1498 01:04:42.039 --> 01:04:43.519 I know you didn't want to do it in the morning. 1499 01:04:43.639 --> 01:04:44.760 No, No, it was perfectly fine. 1500 01:04:44.800 --> 01:04:45.960 Get it out of the dam. I'm gonna head to 1501 01:04:45.960 --> 01:04:48.280 the gym. Now woke me up. I'm ready to go curv. Yeah, 1502 01:04:49.320 --> 01:04:51.000 all right, I'm gonna do the same thing. 1503 01:04:51.039 --> 01:04:51.880 I'm also to. 1504 01:04:53.880 --> 01:04:55.000 All right, all right. 1505 01:04:55.039 --> 01:04:58.239 For the listeners, thank you for being here. Please check 1506 01:04:58.239 --> 01:05:02.119 out Nick Show if you haven't already. But other than that, 1507 01:05:02.199 --> 01:05:04.880 please like, follow, share, subscribe, leave a rating and review. 1508 01:05:05.000 --> 01:05:07.119 Those are the freeways to help support the show and 1509 01:05:07.159 --> 01:05:09.880 help it grow. Also, if your podcascher doesn't allow you 1510 01:05:09.920 --> 01:05:12.320 to leave a rating and review, please consider doing so 1511 01:05:12.480 --> 01:05:15.440 on the website where the weird Ones are podcast dot com. 1512 01:05:15.519 --> 01:05:16.880 It is also where you can get merch. 1513 01:05:17.159 --> 01:05:19.280 Much like the shirt behind me, there's a whole bunch 1514 01:05:19.320 --> 01:05:22.840 of other designs, hot sauce, coffee, and supplements. 1515 01:05:23.239 --> 01:05:28.960 Suck him out, okay, yeah, like Iron from New England. 1516 01:05:28.960 --> 01:05:30.239 I was telling you about that. You don't know he 1517 01:05:30.320 --> 01:05:33.840 makes his own hot soss too. No shit, I gotta 1518 01:05:33.880 --> 01:05:34.840 put you in touch with this guy. 1519 01:05:35.920 --> 01:05:38.079 God damn, I'm gonna have to look him up, all right, 1520 01:05:38.519 --> 01:05:38.880 all right? 1521 01:05:40.039 --> 01:05:42.800 Yeah, So other than that, guys, you know the drill, 1522 01:05:42.960 --> 01:05:45.159 question everything, and stay weird. 1523 01:05:47.920 --> 01:05:56.119 Close your runs, look into the darkness, find the blazing story. 1524 01:05:58.199 --> 01:06:07.639 Focus may be called the eclipse. Don't feel that the 1525 01:06:07.719 --> 01:06:12.320 show'll be done, And does 1526 01:06:14.239 --> 01:06:15.480 You the shoes