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Speaker 1: Good Morning from Hell.

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Speaker 2: It's good friend Clayton here with my good buddy Chris.

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Speaker 1: That is so un enthusiastic.

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Speaker 2: Take two, Good Morning from Health Cluydard and Chris.

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Speaker 1: It's great. Let's keep this tempo up the whole time.

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Chris sounds good.

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Speaker 2: All right, we're not gonna do that, all right. My

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voice is already a little scratchy. I''m gonna drink some

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eggnog because it's that time of season.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So what is this podcast? Well, it's called good

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Morning from Hell.

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Speaker 2: No shit, we've said it three times where basically I

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have my manservant and my little slave boy, Chris. Uh.

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He died, so I brought him down to Hell and

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he's my little co host on this show where.

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Speaker 1: We interview all sorts of people from Hell.

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Speaker 2: You said you've got eggnog. Yeah, what kind of egg?

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Dinosaur eggs? Dinosaur egg, Yeah, velociraptor egg.

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Speaker 1: How is that spicy? It's spicy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Their skin if you ever lick it, it's like Tabasco

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saucey sweat tabasco.

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Speaker 1: So do they actually have feathers or no? Yes, yes,

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oh they do.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they're actually really beautiful feathers. They look like giant

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evil toucans, so like you know, like fruit loops. Yeah,

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they're like that, but like they'll kill you. Okay, yeah,

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do you have any as the pets or anything? Oh yeah,

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I've got loads of them. Yeah, they're all in my backyard.

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Speaker 1: They run around.

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Speaker 2: They have a couple of tricks. Yeah, like they sit

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roll over mall. Yeah, real cute. Yeah yeah, I'll have

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you over. You can pet them and then I'll feed

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it to them. It'll be great.

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Speaker 1: Okay, sounds all right. Let's do with you? Chris so gloom?

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Speaker 2: Oh nothing, I Me and Helen Keller haven't seen each

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other in a while, or well, I haven't seen I

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haven't seen she hasn't seen me ever. But I haven't

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seen her in a while, and I don't think anything

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went wrong. It's just I don't know where she's been,

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so I've just been missing missing her.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: To refresh our listeners, memories, Uh, Chris is currently stalking

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Helen Keller. Not stalking, it's more just like a friendship.

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Yeah sure, maybe more.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't he be surprised if she filed for like

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one of those things called.

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Speaker 1: Restraining order straining order. Yeah, you know you of course

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you would know, you would know what I know. Chris

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being creepy.

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Speaker 2: Nothing new there, Great, you want to answer some questions

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on Twitter again for our listeners. We have a couple

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of Twitter accounts. You've got Hail Clayton sixty nine. We

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also got a hot mail account because of course you do.

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It's what is it called good Morning from Hell at hotmail?

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Thank you say again, good morning from Hell at hot mail.

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Speaker 1: Okay, that's great.

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Speaker 2: Oh I like to I like your emphasis on hot

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All right, this one comes from Lena kay Or at Merksmers.

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Speaker 1: Interesting name, Hal Clayton. I was just wondering.

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Speaker 2: You said you wanted more Clayton's out there, but what

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exactly is Clayton is? I'm like, I was thinking about converting,

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but don't exactly know the process.

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Speaker 1: Chris, you want to take that one?

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Speaker 2: I guess you die and then you're sent to Hell

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and then you're forced to be his slave. That's right. Yeah,

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it's as simple as that. Or just listen to the

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podcast and tell your friends about it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah that too? Yeah? Cool?

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Speaker 2: Uh so it's almost he who shall not be named

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mess what I'll try to say that again Christmas Christy.

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Speaker 1: Whoa, whoa, whoa, watch your mouth sorry, whoa, No.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's uh it's that guy's birthday. It's coming up.

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It's kind of a sad time of years, a lot

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of like good cheer and giving and peace on earth. Oh,

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it's just it's so depressing. So we actually brought a

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special guest on in light of the season.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, it's it's it's a busy time of

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the year. But uh, well do you hear that? Do

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you hear those jingle bells? Oh? Here he is everyone,

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it's Santa Children. Oh wow, Santa.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Oh that's me Chris. And if it isn't my

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fucking boy Clayton, how are we doing Clayton? What?

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Speaker 1: Santa? So good?

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Speaker 4: Thank christ I can stop doing the fucking voice. It

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plays so well. But I miss being down here with

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you guys.

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Speaker 1: Oh, you're just one of our number one guys, Chris.

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If you're met Santa, No, well not, I don't think

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the real one.

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Speaker 4: Oh first off, fuck you, there's only one real Santa.

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It's me, motherfucker. When you up top side as we

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call it, why are you touching yourself so much? At eleven?

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I can see it all. I still have the record

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he sees you when you're sleeping, Chris, They say, are

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in the song?

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Speaker 1: All right?

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Speaker 3: Could it be any clearer? It could not?

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Speaker 1: All right? Well, I would counter, why are you watching

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little boys touch themselves?

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Speaker 3: Uh? Because I'm a fucking demon, you idiot?

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Speaker 4: Wait?

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Speaker 1: Wait wait you're a demon?

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Speaker 4: Yes, Clayton, did you give him none of the background research?

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I mean, opts explain my whole origin story here?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? No, I didn't tell him.

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Speaker 3: Shit, Chris, when you think of Christmas, what do you

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think about Chris? Chris?

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Speaker 1: What do you think I think about you?

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Speaker 2: Uh?

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Speaker 3: Huh? Stop right there.

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Speaker 4: Christmas is Jesus Christ's birthday.

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Speaker 3: No one fucking thinks about him anymore.

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Speaker 4: They're thinking of me in my red suit, my fancy hat,

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coming into their house, breaking in, giving them things, driving consumerism,

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judging people left and right. And do you know why

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that is, Chris? Why Santa is a version of Satan.

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Speaker 1: That's right?

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Speaker 2: What?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Oh yeah? Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Years and years and years ago, the dark lord Himsel

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was sitting on his throne, scratching his head, poking people

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with his pitchfork. And you know what he said, I

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can do better. And as you know, Chris, there's only

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one way to make something better, and that's try to

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clone it. And so what dark Lord did is cloned himself,

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and it didn't come out perfect. I'm a bit round,

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I'm a bit heavy.

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Speaker 1: You're also kind of white. Yeah, you're white.

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Speaker 4: I'm very, very very white. Cloning back then, it wasn't

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such an exact science. All right, Now we got it.

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You got Dolly the Sheep's popping out left and right.

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You got Paul Rudd with a hit Netflix show. Back then,

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Satan the hell pioneers down here, they were out in

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the scientific community, working without a net, as I like

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to say. So they came up with me, Santa, very

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close to Satan, as you know. And so what they

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did is I didn't look like Satan. I couldn't walk

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up the stairs as fast as Satan. I get winded

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going up the stairs, but I still had demonic abilities

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like the dark Lord has. So they said, you look

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like these fucking flesh bags up top that we keep

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torturing down here. They sent me topside to do the

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one thing no one else could do, and that was

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knocked God off his righteous fucking throne.

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Speaker 3: All right.

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Speaker 4: December twenty fifth, We're gonna sit there and celebrate his

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fucking kid. Not on my watch, buddy, Look at me,

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who's on the coke cans?

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Speaker 1: Chris?

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Speaker 2: When was the last time he saw Jesus on a cocaine?

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What the last time he saw Chris Wicks on cocaine?

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I don't think I've ever done.

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Speaker 3: That's right, exactly, boo idiot. It's me and Polar Bears.

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All right.

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Speaker 4: We are working this place left and right. I'm gonna

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get every juice this little planet's got.

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Speaker 1: Is he has infiltrated your people.

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Speaker 2: And oh man, I just want to see the look

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on Jesus's face right now.

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Speaker 1: He's probably pissed. He's blowing out his candles. No one's

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at his birthday.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it was so easy, Chris.

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Speaker 4: You were so ready, as a human race of morons

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to just let me in. I feel bad every time

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I got to talk to a vampire. They gotta come

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up with different ways to trick people into letting him

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in the house.

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Speaker 3: You know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, how you.

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Speaker 3: Gotta come in.

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Speaker 4: You gotta act like a FedEx guy, you gotta act

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like a refrigerator man. There's all these different ways to

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get in vibe in they all take too much. I

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show up and say I'm gonna judge you. I'm gonna

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watch you all the time, no matter what you're doing.

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And people are like, oh fuck, yeah, let's bring our

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little kids over, sending the lap take a photo will

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be cute. All because you wanted a shiny bicycle, Chris, Well,

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guess who's the bicycle?

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Speaker 1: Now?

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Speaker 3: Who's getting ridden? It's the world. Santa's riding the world.

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Speaker 1: Damn, he got you. It's so obvious too.

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Speaker 2: We just jumbled Satan's name around and spelled Santa.

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Speaker 1: It's right in front of you the whole time.

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Speaker 3: Well, I wasn't.

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Speaker 1: Really looking for it, you know, I didn't even know

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Hell was a thing. When I was up on her.

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Speaker 2: You saw this giant dude breaking into your house with

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dressed in red and telling you up to your face

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that I see you when you're sleeping. And then you

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were just like, oh, yeah, come on in, Yeah, here's

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your some milk and cookies.

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Speaker 1: Santy, you got him. You got him.

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Speaker 3: Son got him. And that's the thing.

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Speaker 4: I've given him so many clues. You moved the letters

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around Satan saying it the other one. Only two types

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of people use the word naughty. It is Santa, and

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it is perverts. Now, Ranty, we're one and the same.

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But you should have figured this out that no one

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ever is like, oh, were you a naughty boy? Unless

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they're me, or unless they're me or somebody else who's perverted.

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Speaker 2: You know how bad your parents cringe whenever you're like,

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I'm not, I haven't been naughty.

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Speaker 1: It's so weird hearing.

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Speaker 2: That coming from a child's mouth. Yeah, have you been

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naughty or nice? I can't believe you guys fell for

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that stupid disgusting I guess it's just like the whole

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jolly look with a weird hat. And you know what

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the weird hat is for, right, Yeah, go ahead, go

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ahead and take the hat off.

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Speaker 1: Take the hat off. It's a big horn.

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Speaker 3: Whoa, Yeah, there it is.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he's right there in front of you.

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Speaker 4: Again, we didn't understand cloning the way we do now.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just one big weird triangle.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I know, I'm aware. It's one I've had in

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my entire fucking existence.

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Speaker 1: Chris, Stop saying at it. Stop saying that that's.

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Speaker 3: Why I wear the hat.

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Speaker 4: All right, I'm supposed to have two I'm supposed to

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look like Beael's above himself, but instead I came out

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very overweight, very white, and yes, one horn growing straight

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out of my head.

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Speaker 2: It looks like, you know, discount dan Aykroyd from the Coneheads,

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but his head kind of like deflated with appeared. We

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can put the hat back on. I'm just you know,

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you can if you want.

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Speaker 4: We want to make sure you're Santa actually well again,

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I mean I'm here, you know, I'm letting it all

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hang out, as they say, you know what I mean,

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I'm here, I'm back. I'm back on my home turf,

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you know what I mean. Again, I was supposed to

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maybe you know, be second in the line for this place.

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Didn't work out that way because of the cloning controversy.

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Speaker 3: Plus Clayton.

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Speaker 4: Of course, I know you and your relationship to the

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Great Exalted Leader.

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Speaker 3: I understand.

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Speaker 2: I don't know Great Exalted you know yeah, yeah, yeah,

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he's my brother.

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Speaker 3: Whatever. Well, it's just rough, you know, I mean, like

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I understand where you're at.

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Speaker 1: You know what I mean that you.

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Speaker 4: Would love to take over one day, and I don't

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fully understand that rather than one day pass it to you,

249
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they needed to make another one of me which is

250
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really him. Yeah, and you know, and I'm not baked

251
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all the way through. Maybe that's it, you know, the

252
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old knogging up here. Maybe I can't put it together

253
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the way you, big bro could. Yeah, but it seems

254
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like if they had you, you could have taken over

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if anything happened.

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Speaker 1: Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. Sorry, finally someone recognizes it.

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Why did they bother to clone Satan?

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Speaker 3: Chris? I'll tell I'll help you out down here, all right.

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Speaker 4: The number one thing you need to do is stop

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asking fucking questions that I pertain to what Satan's doing.

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Speaker 1: All right. He doesn't like that, no, okay, all right,

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I don't either. Yeah. No, this is a podcast where

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we interview people jobs.

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Speaker 3: How that worked out for him?

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Speaker 1: You know?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Exactly? All right? All right, no more Satan questions? Okay,

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thank you? Can I ask what the deal is with reindeer?

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Oh he doesn't know about the reindeer either, man, You.

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Speaker 3: Don't know about the reindeer, so dumb?

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Speaker 1: All right? So what tell us what you think is

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going on?

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Speaker 3: This will be adorable.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. You curse some deer and now they

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have to do your best.

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Speaker 4: Curse some deer, Chris, what kind of monster do you

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take me for that? I would put that on a

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deer like that. Do you understand what you're saying?

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Speaker 3: Right there? A deer?

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Speaker 4: Most animals outside of skunks and ferrets, they are blessed.

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I would never touch them again.

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Speaker 3: Dummy.

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Speaker 4: Look around, you're in hell. My Reindeer's people that him

284
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curse brought up there. And then you want to get

285
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up there. You want to be you want to be Rudolph.

286
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You want to have a red tumor on your nose

287
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glowing NonStop. Cause that's the thing. Not only are you

288
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now a Sentshian animal. You can't talk. You gotta just

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shit in the woods near Rudolph. You got this cancer

290
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on your nose. You think anybody, Do you think any

291
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other rain you're gonna fuck that guy?

292
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Speaker 3: No, they don't. That's where we put the worst of

293
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the worst.

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Speaker 1: Is he doing okay?

295
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Speaker 4: No?

296
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Speaker 1: He's dying?

297
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Speaker 2: No?

298
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Speaker 3: He dies every season? What part of this don't you understand?

299
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You are in hell?

300
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Speaker 4: It's supposed to be a living nightmare, Chris? Is this

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podcast a living nightmare for you right now?

302
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Speaker 1: Yeah? I mean it always is. That's kind of the thing.

303
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Speaker 3: Good, So you're starting to get it, okay.

304
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Speaker 4: I want you to go home eventually, right and in

305
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,360
between getting on the bed and nails and putting the

306
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things between your toenails. Oh, I hate that one. I

307
00:11:42,639 --> 00:11:44,879
want you to listen back to this podcast and understand

308
00:11:44,879 --> 00:11:47,120
how stupid you sound. You're like, whoa soon as a

309
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,639
bad guy? How do you pulled up? How do you

310
00:11:48,679 --> 00:11:49,919
do this to us? And then you're asking all these

311
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,720
basic questions about Hell. You host the Hell podcast. Oh,

312
00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:54,879
I'm sorry, I'm still kind of getting new to it.

313
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,639
You've been here for like two months, man, I mean

314
00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:58,919
playing Why did you pick this guy? You told me this,

315
00:11:59,159 --> 00:12:01,320
You chose this guy for a reason. You killed this

316
00:12:01,399 --> 00:12:02,120
guy for a reason.

317
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Speaker 1: Oh oh oh she doesn't know about that. What huh?

318
00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:09,919
We're looking at nothing, No worry about it.

319
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Speaker 3: It's no.

320
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,879
Speaker 4: I'm sorry that I when I say you killed this

321
00:12:12,919 --> 00:12:15,919
guy for that slang we use in Hell? Yeah, like uh,

322
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:18,000
when I picked this month's missus clause, I was like,

323
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:22,039
I kill her? Come here they killed the work together.

324
00:12:23,919 --> 00:12:26,000
We also all sit on toilets like a c slater

325
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:29,879
on chairs. Can I ask about all the songs? Like

326
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:31,919
I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus.

327
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Speaker 1: It says, yeah, I.

328
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:33,360
Speaker 3: Fucked her too.

329
00:12:33,519 --> 00:12:36,240
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, all right, so is that just the thing

330
00:12:36,279 --> 00:12:38,639
you just go around and try and break up marriages again?

331
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:40,360
Speaker 3: I am a clone of Satan.

332
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Speaker 4: All right, you're goddamn right. I'm getting in there with everybody.

333
00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:46,799
And that's the other thing I'll tell you right now.

334
00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:49,279
I appreciate that up top, it's the twenty nineteen world.

335
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:51,360
Up here, they need to redo the song because I

336
00:12:51,399 --> 00:12:56,159
will fuck anybody mommy, daddy, non binary parent, like I

337
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,600
don't care, Like I am there to fuck shit up.

338
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Speaker 3: Because that's what's even worse.

339
00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:02,559
Speaker 4: Imagine how it is, because I've got a great gimmick

340
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:05,519
going down here, right, everybody's up there, they're all like, oh,

341
00:13:05,679 --> 00:13:07,919
you've been naughty, You've been nice. All these kids come

342
00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:10,200
over and they get on my lap and they're like, I.

343
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Speaker 3: Want the most expensive new computer.

344
00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:14,120
Speaker 4: I want the MacBook, I want to AirPods, I want

345
00:13:14,159 --> 00:13:17,480
to I love to look over and see these single parents,

346
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:21,759
porous fuck looking at me, that hope in their eyes

347
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,480
that I'm gonna come through and give their kid the

348
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expensive thing they'll never be able to afford. So imagine

349
00:13:28,279 --> 00:13:30,639
when I show up right, I wrap their little shitty

350
00:13:30,639 --> 00:13:33,320
fucking knockoff toy. It doesn't make sense. It's supposed to

351
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:35,679
be Superman. It's supposed to say it says super Dude

352
00:13:35,679 --> 00:13:37,720
on the outside. You really want an iPad, you know

353
00:13:37,759 --> 00:13:39,720
what I mean? Well, here's some stupid android. God, I

354
00:13:39,759 --> 00:13:41,200
don't even know what they call these things. Here's the

355
00:13:41,279 --> 00:13:43,600
stupid thing. It's black, it's not iPad. It doesn't have apps.

356
00:13:43,639 --> 00:13:45,720
You gotta use gingerbread. I wrap that up there, I

357
00:13:45,759 --> 00:13:47,559
put that in under the tree, and then I go

358
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to the next house with the rich parents. Right, I'm

359
00:13:49,519 --> 00:13:51,679
giving them the nice expensive preser. There's a whole class

360
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:54,240
warfare here, right, it's mental warfare and so many things.

361
00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:57,159
I give them that, and then the parents they're sauce

362
00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:59,600
out of their mind. They've been doing all sorts of drugs,

363
00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:00,679
you know what I mean. I mean, they're in an

364
00:14:00,759 --> 00:14:03,440
unhappy marriage to begin with, but there's always that thing

365
00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:05,639
where one of them is holding out hope that this

366
00:14:05,799 --> 00:14:08,440
magical season they're gonna turn it around for the other one.

367
00:14:08,519 --> 00:14:09,919
And that's when I show up and I fuck the

368
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other parent.

369
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Speaker 3: You know what I mean?

370
00:14:11,519 --> 00:14:13,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, it's one two punch.

371
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,039
Speaker 2: Do you have any kids then, because if you're if

372
00:14:16,039 --> 00:14:18,480
you're like sleeping with everyone's parents. Do you have any

373
00:14:18,519 --> 00:14:21,159
like weird half demon kids up on earth?

374
00:14:21,279 --> 00:14:22,639
Speaker 3: No? I mean the half demon kid thing.

375
00:14:22,679 --> 00:14:25,120
Speaker 4: It just doesn't work out because usually you've met a

376
00:14:25,159 --> 00:14:27,559
lot of demons down there, right obviously, Clayton, what up, Clayton?

377
00:14:27,799 --> 00:14:30,399
But I mean, like you've seen these things, and you

378
00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:35,039
understand how strong a demonic uterus is. Now, you take

379
00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:38,279
even a half half demon, you put that into a

380
00:14:38,639 --> 00:14:42,080
normal human up here, and by man about month seven,

381
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,200
that thing's gonnaaw right outside of it.

382
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,679
Speaker 3: It's gonna come right out through the belly button. And

383
00:14:46,759 --> 00:14:48,559
nobody wants that because then there's questions.

384
00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:50,600
Speaker 4: And then I got to raise the hospital, and then

385
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,519
I got to make it look like a natural disaster

386
00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:54,720
or some kind of gas leak. And let me tell you,

387
00:14:54,799 --> 00:14:57,960
eventually people ask questions about that. Why was Santa there?

388
00:14:58,039 --> 00:15:00,000
Why was he lighting matches by this open gas?

389
00:15:00,559 --> 00:15:01,440
Speaker 3: It's a big problem.

390
00:15:01,639 --> 00:15:04,039
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, then does that just mean you just use

391
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:04,960
protection every time?

392
00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:05,399
Speaker 2: Or no?

393
00:15:05,519 --> 00:15:08,000
Speaker 3: I just basically kill and raise hospitals when I need to.

394
00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:11,879
Speaker 1: Oh okay, okay, yeah yeah again of Satan. Okay, so

395
00:15:11,919 --> 00:15:14,480
it happens. You just it's work Yeah, sure.

396
00:15:14,279 --> 00:15:14,759
Speaker 3: But I don't.

397
00:15:14,919 --> 00:15:16,159
Speaker 4: I mean, that's the whole thing is, like, I'm not

398
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:18,039
gonna let the mother live, I'm not gonna let the

399
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:20,039
kid live. I'm not gonna let anybody in the twenty

400
00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:21,120
ballock Rabius live.

401
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:23,919
Speaker 1: Let's let's switch it up, Santa, you're my co host.

402
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:28,039
Speaker 2: Now we're gonna ask Chris all these questions about Christmas, Okay,

403
00:15:28,039 --> 00:15:30,120
and see how wrong he gets them. Hey, Chris, what

404
00:15:30,399 --> 00:15:34,679
are elves? Tell us about that? Elves? Yeah, okay, yeah, elves.

405
00:15:34,879 --> 00:15:40,039
Elves are little short demons with pointy ears who make

406
00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:41,960
presents and they're based in your in hell?

407
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:43,679
Speaker 1: Wrong again?

408
00:15:43,759 --> 00:15:47,480
Speaker 4: What why Why would we have demons doing the work

409
00:15:47,639 --> 00:15:49,679
that we could easily assign one hundred million other fucks?

410
00:15:49,879 --> 00:15:52,519
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, you've seen Lord of the Rings. Yeah, yeah,

411
00:15:52,559 --> 00:15:55,840
it's actually the true history of Earth. What Yeah, yeah,

412
00:15:55,919 --> 00:15:59,600
all that stuff actually happened. Mordoor, Middle Earth. What Pangaea

413
00:15:59,639 --> 00:16:01,960
back where you know, broke up and all that ship. Yeah,

414
00:16:02,679 --> 00:16:04,360
l's are real. The it's all extinct.

415
00:16:04,639 --> 00:16:08,360
Speaker 4: I see you when you're sleeping, I see you when

416
00:16:08,399 --> 00:16:09,120
you are awake.

417
00:16:09,639 --> 00:16:12,000
Speaker 3: That is literally the definition of the eye of saur On.

418
00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:17,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, it all coming back together now, sare on Satan

419
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,879
or some off spring, like another failed clone of Satan.

420
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,320
Speaker 3: Okay, first off, we don't use the F word around me.

421
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:30,399
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Some slightly different version of Satan. Yes, yeah,

422
00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:32,480
put a whole new perspective on Lord of the Rings.

423
00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:32,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know.

424
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:35,960
Speaker 2: So those elves, Yeah, the hot sexy ones. They're making

425
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:40,159
some shit. They're making toys. Yeah, so beautiful, their skin

426
00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:41,159
like porcelain.

427
00:16:41,279 --> 00:16:43,120
Speaker 1: Oh it's oh beautiful.

428
00:16:43,399 --> 00:16:49,519
Speaker 4: Chris, you haven't lived till you've tasted elf assed a

429
00:16:49,519 --> 00:16:50,120
whole family.

430
00:16:51,519 --> 00:16:53,320
Speaker 1: I don't know if I'll ever get the chance to

431
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:54,519
can I can?

432
00:16:54,519 --> 00:16:57,279
Speaker 3: I You won't be You're not lucky enough. Don't worry

433
00:16:57,279 --> 00:16:59,399
about that. You are in Hell. You don't get to

434
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:00,720
enjoy the of the labor.

435
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:03,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're definitely out of your league too. None of

436
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:04,519
the elves are going to see you and be like,

437
00:17:04,559 --> 00:17:05,920
oh yeah, sure, why not?

438
00:17:06,319 --> 00:17:08,079
Speaker 1: So wait, they're here in Hell. No, they're on the

439
00:17:08,079 --> 00:17:09,480
North Pole. What.

440
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:12,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's actually it's like a portal from Hell up

441
00:17:12,839 --> 00:17:15,359
under the earth, thrown the North Pole. But that's also

442
00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:17,880
where we have over els stationed. So did they die?

443
00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:19,839
They're all having orgies because they're hot. As shit, and

444
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,799
then they're making toys sometimes, so they're not They didn't

445
00:17:22,839 --> 00:17:25,160
die and were like forced to make toys.

446
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:27,039
Speaker 1: Oh shit, you're a Lord of the Rings nerd. You

447
00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:28,799
know what happened? They all went to that land.

448
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,920
Speaker 2: Oh so the land that they were sailing off to

449
00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:35,039
is just the North Pole to make toys for Santa. Yeah,

450
00:17:35,079 --> 00:17:40,319
Frodo's up there too, pros up making toys for Santa. Yeah,

451
00:17:40,319 --> 00:17:44,119
that's why people think elves are short. Little weird dude.

452
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:46,720
Oh yeah, I think an exploration team saw Phroto and

453
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:49,559
then they just made assumptions from there that. Okay, see

454
00:17:49,599 --> 00:17:52,839
now that makes sense. Frodo got caught because he wasn't

455
00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:55,680
wearing the ring and he was visible. Okay, yeah, as

456
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:57,559
the Lord of the Rings fan, that's actually pretty cool.

457
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:00,319
Speaker 1: Why haven't they been discovered.

458
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:02,559
Speaker 4: Because all of you want to go to New Zealand.

459
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:06,599
Who the fuck cares is knock off Australia. For years

460
00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:08,200
we've been trying to sell you on coming in the

461
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:09,400
North Poole years.

462
00:18:09,519 --> 00:18:12,160
Speaker 3: We work literally one day a year. Why not bring

463
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:14,880
more people up here to have sex with and eighth alfast?

464
00:18:15,039 --> 00:18:17,119
Speaker 4: No, instead, you all want to go and march around

465
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,319
the tall grasses of New Zealand sea a mud hut.

466
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:20,119
Speaker 3: It disgusts me.

467
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:22,079
Speaker 1: It's too cold up in the North Poole. It's actually

468
00:18:22,119 --> 00:18:22,720
quite beautiful.

469
00:18:22,759 --> 00:18:25,000
Speaker 4: It's getting better by the day thanks to our hard

470
00:18:25,039 --> 00:18:26,160
work corrupting the humans.

471
00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:27,799
Speaker 1: That's right, global warming.

472
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:29,319
Speaker 3: I've heard of it.

473
00:18:29,759 --> 00:18:31,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I have. Well, actually, so Santa.

474
00:18:32,039 --> 00:18:34,240
Speaker 2: You're here because you had an announcement about the whole

475
00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:35,279
milk and cookies tradition.

476
00:18:35,359 --> 00:18:40,519
Speaker 4: Right, yeah, I'm like any other blue blooded demon from hell.

477
00:18:40,759 --> 00:18:41,200
Speaker 3: All right.

478
00:18:41,519 --> 00:18:44,200
Speaker 4: I like to do things for a few millennia certain way,

479
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:48,359
but it is time to start shaking this up. I

480
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:51,400
loved milk and cookies for years. They were great, But

481
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:54,759
much like how I can enjoy one elf ass every year,

482
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,519
I want to switch it up as I go.

483
00:18:56,839 --> 00:18:58,559
Speaker 3: I want things to be a little bit different.

484
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:01,799
Speaker 4: And so this year I am challenging everyone listening to

485
00:19:01,839 --> 00:19:05,000
this podcast, everyone out there who's leaving milk and cookies,

486
00:19:05,079 --> 00:19:07,599
to push it on the ground and leave me other

487
00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:11,440
white liquids and baked goods. All right, I want different

488
00:19:11,519 --> 00:19:13,759
things up there. I don't want if I come in

489
00:19:13,759 --> 00:19:15,960
there and it's milk and cookies again, guess what I'm

490
00:19:16,039 --> 00:19:18,440
having sex with somebody you love. Maybe you're you're like,

491
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:20,359
maybe I got nothing to worry about, right, I'm a

492
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:22,920
single parent, I don't have any kids, doesn't matter. You

493
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:25,279
all love somebody. And I see you doing whatever you're

494
00:19:25,279 --> 00:19:27,559
going to do. If I have to dig up Grandma,

495
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:28,039
I will.

496
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:30,400
Speaker 1: Yeah. Wait, any white liquid?

497
00:19:30,559 --> 00:19:36,319
Speaker 2: Yeah right, Yeah, you're rressing egg whites, mayonnaise, mayonnaise.

498
00:19:36,319 --> 00:19:38,440
Speaker 4: White claw is big, now, I know I am I

499
00:19:38,519 --> 00:19:41,839
fudging it there a little bit, you know, yes, yes,

500
00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:43,960
but it says white in the can.

501
00:19:44,079 --> 00:19:46,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, so I'm gonna count that. Yeah, white liquid.

502
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,680
Speaker 2: So you just want to drink some a cup of mayonnaise,

503
00:19:48,759 --> 00:19:51,480
Yetta cheese that can work too, Yeah, just trying to

504
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:51,759
mix it.

505
00:19:51,799 --> 00:19:53,480
Speaker 3: Up, variety of spice of life.

506
00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:55,240
Speaker 1: Then why is it? Why? Then? Why do you want

507
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:56,880
everything white? Got you there?

508
00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:59,880
Speaker 4: I'd prefer not to answer that question with a microphone

509
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:02,480
in in front of me. Again, if you look around

510
00:20:02,599 --> 00:20:05,000
and remember that I'm a demon.

511
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:07,160
Speaker 1: Chris, how do you keep forgetting this? I'm sorry, it's right,

512
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:08,799
he's right here, and you keep forgetting him.

513
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:11,680
Speaker 2: So, so, yeah, white liquids that are not milk but

514
00:20:11,839 --> 00:20:12,759
of a different variety.

515
00:20:12,799 --> 00:20:16,000
Speaker 3: And then cookies a baked good of some kind.

516
00:20:16,079 --> 00:20:18,319
Speaker 1: Okay, all right up here in the North.

517
00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:21,319
Speaker 4: Pole, right, not a plentiful selection of things going on.

518
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:23,559
What are these crutons? I've heard so much about? What

519
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,920
about these triscuits? Dogs seem happy with their biscuits. I

520
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:30,319
hear all the time about cinnamon rolls, cinnamon bonds, wetzel pretzels.

521
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:32,039
Speaker 3: You all got mauls, right, yeah?

522
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:33,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, you out for Senna.

523
00:20:33,519 --> 00:20:36,759
Speaker 2: Actually, you know what, I challenge our listeners come Christmas Eve.

524
00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:40,240
We want everybody to tweet or instagram a picture of

525
00:20:40,559 --> 00:20:43,640
their milk and cookie substitute what hashtag we use in Clayton.

526
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:46,160
We want them to use the hashtag good morning from hell.

527
00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:48,240
We can we can see all our listeners and how

528
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:52,759
they're out there supporting us on this Jesus' birthday.

529
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,759
Speaker 1: Ah, your rubes, Oh we got him.

530
00:20:58,119 --> 00:21:01,839
Speaker 2: He must be pissed, even though like he doesn't sin

531
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:02,880
or anything like that.

532
00:21:03,319 --> 00:21:05,160
Speaker 1: I bet I bet he lets a little curse word slip.

533
00:21:05,279 --> 00:21:06,599
I bet he goes like, oh firts.

534
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,240
Speaker 4: He has to be up there, you know, he's working

535
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,720
on a new set of sandals, stitching up his robe,

536
00:21:11,759 --> 00:21:13,480
and he's got to be looking over the clouds going

537
00:21:13,519 --> 00:21:17,000
mm Mmmm, they got me because we got him Chris,

538
00:21:17,319 --> 00:21:18,160
and he can say.

539
00:21:18,039 --> 00:21:20,960
Speaker 1: The Lord's name in vain. Yeah, right, because it's his name,

540
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:21,759
but it's his name.

541
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:22,519
Speaker 4: Yeah.

542
00:21:22,559 --> 00:21:25,119
Speaker 2: But yeah, that's pushing off the second coming. Every every

543
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,079
year he's like, maybe this would be the it. Nope, Nope,

544
00:21:27,079 --> 00:21:27,640
they got me again.

545
00:21:27,759 --> 00:21:31,480
Speaker 4: Wait, it's the thing, you understand, This is a pride thing, right.

546
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:34,279
He can't come back down here and be second banana

547
00:21:34,319 --> 00:21:37,880
to Santa aka Satan's clumb He's gotta somehow get his

548
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:41,519
popularity over Santa. I think all the movies I've had,

549
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:45,079
Miracle on thirty fourth Street, Santa Claus, the Santa Claus.

550
00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:46,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're like eight of those.

551
00:21:46,599 --> 00:21:50,200
Speaker 3: I'm going to count that. Arnold Schwarzenegger one jingle all

552
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:50,519
the way.

553
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:53,359
Speaker 4: I think all the movies the Jesus Christ has had

554
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:54,519
Passion of the Christ.

555
00:21:54,759 --> 00:21:56,039
Speaker 1: Yep, full stop.

556
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:56,599
Speaker 3: That's it.

557
00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:58,519
Speaker 4: That's what he's had. And then veggie tails for like

558
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:02,200
nineteen seasons. No nobody cares about him anymore. Yeah, he's

559
00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:04,000
old Millennia. I'm new Millennia.

560
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:06,680
Speaker 2: Well what about like, you know, people who are Jewish,

561
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:07,839
how are you fucking them over?

562
00:22:08,279 --> 00:22:11,480
Speaker 1: Oh like Knica and stuff. Yeah, no, they're they're lovely people.

563
00:22:11,559 --> 00:22:12,319
We leave them alone.

564
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:14,559
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, we have no we have no direct beef

565
00:22:14,599 --> 00:22:16,279
with them. Yeah, they have a beautiful tradition. Why would

566
00:22:16,319 --> 00:22:17,000
we want to mess with that.

567
00:22:17,319 --> 00:22:19,839
Speaker 3: I love the candles, I love Manora's. That's awesome. It

568
00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:22,920
it's a great tradition. I can't believe you're you're this racist.

569
00:22:24,079 --> 00:22:26,000
Speaker 1: You know what? You know what you're asking about Hitler

570
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,440
a couple of podcasts. Now, I wasn't asking about making

571
00:22:28,519 --> 00:22:30,400
sense connect the dots.

572
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:31,519
Speaker 3: I wonder why he's in hell.

573
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:35,680
Speaker 2: I was just asking why Joseph Stalin wasn't ever bringing

574
00:22:35,799 --> 00:22:36,559
Hitler around.

575
00:22:36,759 --> 00:22:39,000
Speaker 4: Now, Clayton, I'm wearing those Santa glasses that are like

576
00:22:39,039 --> 00:22:39,799
the half frames.

577
00:22:39,799 --> 00:22:42,039
Speaker 3: But I'm looking over there. Is that an armband on?

578
00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:42,359
Speaker 2: Chris?

579
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:43,440
Speaker 3: Is he wearing an arm band?

580
00:22:43,799 --> 00:22:44,680
Speaker 1: Wearing an arm sow?

581
00:22:45,319 --> 00:22:48,200
Speaker 2: Not into Hitler? Just want to make that clear. Not

582
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:52,240
a Hitler fan in any way. I hate Hitler? Okay, Chris,

583
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:55,160
all right, yeah, we totally I believe you wink, Well

584
00:22:55,519 --> 00:22:57,720
you don't. He has such a jolly wink to look

585
00:22:57,759 --> 00:23:01,119
at it. Little do people know it is so so?

586
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:04,720
Why do you always come down the chimney again?

587
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:05,359
Speaker 3: Chris?

588
00:23:05,519 --> 00:23:05,839
Speaker 1: Yeah?

589
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:06,519
Speaker 3: Where are you.

590
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:08,680
Speaker 1: That's right?

591
00:23:08,759 --> 00:23:11,720
Speaker 3: Where do you think all the fire and brimstone is son?

592
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:13,839
That's what I was born for, all right.

593
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:17,079
Speaker 4: You take someone out of Florida America's wing, you put

594
00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:19,000
them up in North Dakota. They're gonna want to blow

595
00:23:19,039 --> 00:23:22,319
their brains out. But I can't die. So yeah, I'm

596
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,519
sorry that every so often I want to taste of

597
00:23:24,559 --> 00:23:27,440
the good stuff, slide down a nice hot shaft to

598
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:30,559
get a bit dirty, you know what I mean? Uh?

599
00:23:31,039 --> 00:23:34,079
Speaker 1: Okay, no, no, that makes sense. That makes sense, all right, Chris,

600
00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:34,759
What are your thoughts on?

601
00:23:35,039 --> 00:23:36,960
Speaker 2: You're eat coal when you're a little kid, You're eat

602
00:23:37,039 --> 00:23:39,200
coal and you're stalking all right? I got one thing

603
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,240
of coal. I got one thing of coal. I thought

604
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:42,920
it was a joke from my parents.

605
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,440
Speaker 1: No, there are no jokes.

606
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,599
Speaker 3: You know what? That coal is made out of? What

607
00:23:48,559 --> 00:23:49,720
remains of your grandfather?

608
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,319
Speaker 1: What? Yeah, Pappy, he's just got smushed down in this

609
00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:54,119
little black lump.

610
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:55,960
Speaker 4: A lot of people think the bodies are left alone

611
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:58,440
when they're putting the ground. Nahuh, I got all these elves.

612
00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:01,480
They gotta be doing something between the suck in fucking Yeah.

613
00:24:01,599 --> 00:24:02,400
Speaker 1: That was poppy.

614
00:24:02,519 --> 00:24:04,599
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, what what do humans expect when they

615
00:24:04,599 --> 00:24:07,000
bury their dead, you know, you put them closer down

616
00:24:07,039 --> 00:24:07,279
to Hell.

617
00:24:07,319 --> 00:24:09,079
Speaker 1: We're gonna reach out there, we're gonna grab, We're gonna

618
00:24:09,079 --> 00:24:09,440
bring them down.

619
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:10,759
Speaker 2: We'd be like, oh, look at this puppet, and then

620
00:24:10,759 --> 00:24:13,640
we're gonna swush it down into little cols.

621
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:14,519
Speaker 1: Poor Poppy.

622
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:17,119
Speaker 2: We just put it in the barbecue week eight burgers

623
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:17,880
off of Poppy.

624
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:19,759
Speaker 1: Ooh, that's unfortunate.

625
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:22,400
Speaker 3: He's the granddad that keeps on giving.

626
00:24:22,559 --> 00:24:27,960
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, all the people uh impersonating you down on Earth?

627
00:24:28,279 --> 00:24:29,240
Speaker 1: What do you do about that?

628
00:24:29,359 --> 00:24:29,480
Speaker 4: Oh?

629
00:24:29,559 --> 00:24:31,920
Speaker 2: Like the Malsantas, Yeah, the mall Santas, and then like

630
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:34,440
the people in front of Walmart or whatever, ringing the

631
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:38,599
bell asking for like loose pocket lit and change and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

632
00:24:38,599 --> 00:24:39,680
I using my advantage.

633
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:40,759
Speaker 3: They're called minions.

634
00:24:40,759 --> 00:24:41,079
Speaker 1: All right.

635
00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:43,799
Speaker 4: I can't I can't be everywhere at once. But when

636
00:24:43,799 --> 00:24:46,200
I get these other sandas out there, right, they're out

637
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:47,400
there doing the leg work for me.

638
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:47,680
Speaker 1: Yeah.

639
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:49,920
Speaker 4: They're finding out where these people's weak spots are at.

640
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:52,240
They're finding out how I can slide in. What's that,

641
00:24:52,279 --> 00:24:55,400
little Timmy, your dad's having doubts about Catholicism. That's when

642
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:57,480
I slither on in that's when I bring another one

643
00:24:57,519 --> 00:24:59,200
down for our team, get a soul for Clayton to

644
00:24:59,240 --> 00:24:59,559
sign up.

645
00:24:59,599 --> 00:25:04,200
Speaker 2: You see that classic Michael Keaton movie Multiplicity, That's exactly

646
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:06,799
what's the situation is going on. Those are all clones

647
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:10,720
of the clone of Satan. They're Santu's clones. Oh yeah,

648
00:25:10,759 --> 00:25:12,079
so that's why they all look kind of different.

649
00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:14,200
Speaker 3: You ever seen that movie Minions. It's like that.

650
00:25:14,319 --> 00:25:17,200
Speaker 1: I got Minions. Yeah, yeah, Oh we love Minions down

651
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:20,279
here now. Yeah. Oh, the SOB Minions are actually no, no,

652
00:25:20,319 --> 00:25:22,880
they're a fucking movie character. Chris.

653
00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:25,960
Speaker 4: Not everything you see on the TV's real Chris for real.

654
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:27,599
Speaker 1: Oh he's so dumb.

655
00:25:27,839 --> 00:25:31,720
Speaker 4: No, Why are the pretty ones with the tight asses

656
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:32,839
always this dumb?

657
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:34,799
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know.

658
00:25:34,839 --> 00:25:38,079
Speaker 2: Maybe I got some Elvis to me. Your Satan Santa clones?

659
00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:41,279
Are they just all shittier and shittier and shittier?

660
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:43,960
Speaker 3: That's correct? Yeah, that part of Multiplicity was correct. Yeah.

661
00:25:44,079 --> 00:25:45,160
It takes a special.

662
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:46,680
Speaker 4: Kind of moron to be like, yeah, I want to

663
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:49,839
stand outside and freezing temperatures, ringing a bell. I'm gonna

664
00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:53,200
raise all what thirteen dollars and thirteen cents? You think

665
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:55,359
that's ever gonna make it to some starving kid's mouth. No,

666
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:57,640
it doesn't give it a salvation army. They just buy

667
00:25:57,680 --> 00:25:59,160
a bottle of jack with it and drink it in

668
00:25:59,240 --> 00:25:59,799
the back room.

669
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,279
Speaker 2: Any other dumb, stupid questions that you want to ask Santa?

670
00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:05,559
Speaker 1: Can moron? You want to? You wanna shatter your childhood

671
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:07,559
dreams anymore? This is great. This has been a great episode.

672
00:26:07,599 --> 00:26:09,880
I love this. Okay, what about stockings, like hanging your

673
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:11,039
stockings by the tree for.

674
00:26:12,039 --> 00:26:14,440
Speaker 2: Well, it used to be that you would The tradition

675
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:17,160
was once Santa came and did the dirty work with

676
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:19,400
your mom, you know, she'd hang her stockings out to.

677
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:22,119
Speaker 1: Dry because they were pretty wet after the fact.

678
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:24,440
Speaker 2: And then and then it just took off and you'diot

679
00:26:24,519 --> 00:26:26,079
started hanging them up, and they started sticking toys and

680
00:26:26,079 --> 00:26:26,680
shitting them.

681
00:26:26,759 --> 00:26:30,680
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, quick thinking on these horror moms and dads

682
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:33,079
who would get fucked so good by me and that

683
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:35,640
their socks would get wet that they would hang them up.

684
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:37,799
And then the partner walks in and goes, hey, honey,

685
00:26:37,799 --> 00:26:40,440
what's with these And they'd be like, uh, we hang

686
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:42,960
out to Phil gifts and imagine those first few gifts

687
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:46,960
you get out of there, soggy, stopping, wet smelling, just

688
00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:48,880
like a great night a debauchery.

689
00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:53,039
Speaker 2: Santa Claus is coming to Yeah, yeah, white Christmas.

690
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 1: Yeah exactly.

691
00:26:54,039 --> 00:26:55,599
Speaker 4: We laid it all in front of you. We gave

692
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:58,000
you all the puzzle pieces. But you guys too dumb up,

693
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,440
too worried about what's coming up next on Fox story

694
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:00,880
about him?

695
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:05,039
Speaker 1: All right, came down the chimney. Yeah you sure did.

696
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:09,599
Your mom's all right? Well, Chris, did we sufficiently ruin

697
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:10,599
the holiday season for you?

698
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:14,119
Speaker 2: Yeah? It's it was ruined already, but yes, that's great.

699
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:17,440
Good well, Santa. We know you're a very busy man.

700
00:27:17,759 --> 00:27:18,160
Speaker 3: Clayton.

701
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:20,720
Speaker 4: Always a pleasure to kick it with you, for sure, Chris,

702
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,880
you're a piece of trash. That's why you're here. Hold on,

703
00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:25,599
I gotta gotta put the voice back.

704
00:27:26,359 --> 00:27:27,079
Speaker 3: Who any worries.

705
00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:28,000
Speaker 1: It's been a pleasure.

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00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:32,319
Speaker 3: Children, until next time, go fuck yourself.

707
00:27:32,519 --> 00:27:34,599
Speaker 1: Oh there he goes man.

708
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,200
Speaker 2: Silly voice when he does that, isn't it? It's a

709
00:27:37,319 --> 00:27:39,200
very silly voice. All right, Give the gift that keeps

710
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:41,640
on giving. Tell people to listen to Good Morning from Hell.

711
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:45,400
That's the show. Hell Clayton, Merry Christmas. No, No, no,

712
00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:50,720
just hail Clayton. Hey guys, this is plain Thanks for

713
00:27:50,839 --> 00:27:53,440
Greg for being on. Greg Where where can the audience

714
00:27:53,519 --> 00:27:53,880
find you?

715
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:55,400
Speaker 4: If you want to hear me curse Moore, you can

716
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,319
go over to YouTube dot com slash kind of Funny,

717
00:27:57,319 --> 00:27:58,839
Watch the kind of Funny podcast.

718
00:27:58,440 --> 00:27:59,960
Speaker 1: All right, and they can also find you on Twitter.

719
00:28:00,279 --> 00:28:03,240
Game over Gregy all right? Well, thank you Greg Miller

720
00:28:03,319 --> 00:28:04,000
for coming on