Speaker 1: Hey, thanks for joining us today on Pastor Rick's Daily Hope,
Speaker 1: the Bible teaching ministry of Rick Warren. And today we're
Speaker 1: continuing our series called the Habits of Happiness. In this series,
Speaker 1: Rick dives into the Book of Philippians and helps you
Speaker 1: discover God's path to true and lasting happiness. And now
Speaker 1: let's jump right in for the final part of a
Speaker 1: message called grow Healthy Relationships.
Speaker 2: You might write this down.
Speaker 3: Positive praying is more effective than positive thinking. You know,
Speaker 3: people read all these books about positive thinking. Well, okay,
Speaker 3: there's nothing wrong with that. I mean, I'm sure I'd
Speaker 3: rather have you thinking positively than negatively.
Speaker 2: But all the.
Speaker 3: Positive thinking in the world isn't going to change your
Speaker 3: husband or your wife, or your child, or your friend.
Speaker 2: Or your situation. Positive thinking is not enough.
Speaker 3: Positive thinking can change you, but it can't change somebody else.
Speaker 3: But positive prayer can. So positive prayer is more powerful
Speaker 3: than positive thinking. So I want you to write this down.
Speaker 3: Here's my little happiness hint. The quickest way to change
Speaker 3: a bad relationship to a good one. The quickest way
Speaker 3: start praying for them. Start praying for It'll change you
Speaker 3: and it can change them. Start praying for them. You say, well,
Speaker 3: what do I pray? Well, I would encourage you to
Speaker 3: pray what Paul prayed, and in verses nine to eleven,
Speaker 3: we have what Paul prayed. Here's what he says, and
Speaker 3: this is my prayer. That your love may abound more
Speaker 3: and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that
Speaker 3: you may be able to discern what is best. That
Speaker 3: you may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ,
Speaker 3: and that you may be filled with the fruit of
Speaker 3: righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ to the glory and
Speaker 3: praise of God.
Speaker 2: What does he say?
Speaker 3: Four things you can pray? Write these down four things pray,
Speaker 3: and I would say, pray these for your kids. Pray
Speaker 3: these for your friends, Pray these for your boyfriend, your girlfriend,
Speaker 3: Pray these for your boss, Pray these for me, anybody.
Speaker 2: You care about. Pray with joy for the people.
Speaker 3: In your life. And you pray these four things. First,
Speaker 3: pray they will grow in love. Pray that they will
Speaker 3: grow in love. Paul says that your love will grow
Speaker 3: more and more. Number two, he says, pray that they
Speaker 3: will make wise choices. Pray that the people in your
Speaker 3: life and your family and your friends and your pray
Speaker 3: that they will make wise choices. Verse nine and ten
Speaker 3: says that you will know and fully know and understand.
Speaker 2: How to make the right choices.
Speaker 3: Third thing to pray for the people in your life,
Speaker 3: pray they will live with integrity. Pray that they will
Speaker 3: live with integra. Paul says, I pray that you may
Speaker 3: live pure and blameless lives until Christ returns. And the
Speaker 3: fourth thing to pray is pray that they will become
Speaker 3: like Jesus. Parents, there's your prayer agenda right there. Husbands, wives, friends,
Speaker 3: there's your prayer agenda right there. Pray that they will
Speaker 3: become like Christ. Verse eleven, that you will be filled
Speaker 3: with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ
Speaker 3: to the glory and praise of God.
Speaker 2: Circle.
Speaker 3: The word Fruit's what the fruits he talk about there, Well,
Speaker 3: we call it the fruit of the spirit. The fruit
Speaker 3: of the spirit is the character of Jesus. In Glatians
Speaker 3: five twenty two and twenty three says this, The fruit
Speaker 3: of the spirit is love and joy and peace and
Speaker 3: patience and kindness. The fruit of the spirit is goodness
Speaker 3: and faithfulness. Fruit of the spirit is gentleness and self control.
Speaker 2: What is that?
Speaker 3: It's a perfect picture of Jesus. Now, these four things
Speaker 3: you can pray for me any day of the week.
Speaker 3: Pray that I will grow in love. Pray that I
Speaker 3: will make wise choices. Pray that I will live with integrity.
Speaker 3: Pray that I will become more and more like Jesus.
Speaker 3: You can pray these for yourself. You can pray these
Speaker 3: for your spouse. And you know what, you can know
Speaker 3: they will be answered. Why, because they're in the Bible.
Speaker 3: This is not a prayer if it's your will, God,
Speaker 3: this is God's will. It's in the Bible, so you
Speaker 3: know God wants to answer that prayer. So the first
Speaker 3: thing I do have to be grateful for the people
Speaker 3: in my life. And second, I have to pray and
Speaker 3: actually pray joyfully, not with complaining, not with criticism like,
Speaker 3: oh God, why can't you get this man in mind
Speaker 3: in shape. That's not praying joyfully, that's praying whinily, crankily. No,
Speaker 3: pray joyfully, and here's what you pray. Number three, here's
Speaker 3: the third habit, Paul says, and it's in the next verse.
Speaker 3: I must expect the best from people in my life.
Speaker 3: I must expect the best. Now, these things are so
Speaker 3: simple for me. To teach you, but they are so
Speaker 3: hard to turn into habits. We don't normally expect the
Speaker 3: best from the people around us. We expect the worst.
Speaker 3: We expect them to let us down because we have
Speaker 3: a track record. Now he's saying, you want to make
Speaker 3: a habit of believing in people rather than criticizing them.
Speaker 3: Expect the best Philippians want and in the verse six
Speaker 3: is the next verse, he says this, I am confident
Speaker 3: of this, that God, who began a good work in you,
Speaker 3: will carry it to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Speaker 3: Now circle the word confident. I am confident of this,
Speaker 3: that God, who began the good work in you, will carry.
Speaker 2: It on to completion until the day.
Speaker 3: I'm expecting the best from the people in my life.
Speaker 2: Now, Paul is a pro at bringing.
Speaker 3: Out the best in people, and I want to teach
Speaker 3: you how to do it.
Speaker 2: Right now.
Speaker 3: There are three things that you do to bring out
Speaker 3: the best in people, and Paul does all three of them.
Speaker 3: In this verse he says, here's how I bring out
Speaker 3: the best people. Number one, he just write this down.
Speaker 3: He believed in people. He believed in people. He says,
Speaker 3: I am confident and he gave them confidence. Do you
Speaker 3: give the people in your life confidence or do you
Speaker 3: tear them down? Do you build them up or do
Speaker 3: you tear them down? Do you give the people in
Speaker 3: your life confidence? In the last series, I gave you
Speaker 3: an illustration about what a good parent does when a
Speaker 3: child stumbles. Do you remember I said, if a child
Speaker 3: is running a race and you're at the track watching
Speaker 3: him run a race at school, and all of a
Speaker 3: sudden they really mess up and they stumble, and they
Speaker 3: fall flat on their face and they embarrass themselves, and
Speaker 3: you're in the stand as a parent, what do you do.
Speaker 3: You don't get up and say, oh, I'm so embarrassed,
Speaker 3: I'm leaving. You know how pathetic you are. A bad
Speaker 3: parent would do that. But what does a good parent do.
Speaker 3: A good parent stands up and yells even more.
Speaker 2: You can do this. Get up. I believe in you.
Speaker 2: I know you can do it. Come on, come on,
Speaker 2: get up.
Speaker 3: I know this is just a minor thing. No, don't
Speaker 3: worry about it, don't worry about anybody else.
Speaker 2: Just keep on running.
Speaker 3: That's what God does with you when you stumble. That's
Speaker 3: what God wants you to do with people in your
Speaker 3: life when they stumble. That's what it means to be
Speaker 3: like Jesus. Paul says, I believe in people. I give
Speaker 3: them confidence, I help them grow. I am confident that
Speaker 3: what God has started in your life, he's going to
Speaker 3: continue to do. You see, we all need people to
Speaker 3: believe in us because it's how we change. You can't
Speaker 3: change unless somebody believes in you and you believe in yourself.
Speaker 3: Acceptance always precedes transformation. That's why I always say, you know,
Speaker 3: don't tell it like it is, Tell it like it
Speaker 3: could be.
Speaker 2: Sometimes.
Speaker 3: You know, I trained pastors in preaching, and sometimes pastors say,
Speaker 3: well I.
Speaker 2: Just tell it like it is.
Speaker 3: I said, well, okay, but that doesn't change anybody. Tell
Speaker 3: it like it could be is preaching for faith. I
Speaker 3: could get up here and say, you know, you're all
Speaker 3: not doing a good job, and I could tell you
Speaker 3: all the errors you're not doing a good job in.
Speaker 2: What would it do?
Speaker 3: Just make you defensive? It wouldn't change you one bit,
Speaker 3: and next week you go, oh, let's go back and
Speaker 3: have requipus some more. Some some people acts as spiritual massacres.
Speaker 3: O pastor, that's such a great sermon. It made me
Speaker 3: feel so bad. I don't going what no, No, that's
Speaker 3: not it. Nobody changes by nagging. Doesn't happen in the
Speaker 3: pulpit or anywhere else. So don't tell it like it is.
Speaker 3: Tell it like it could be. If I helped draw
Speaker 3: a picture, say this is what you could become, this
Speaker 3: is what you could be with God's power in your life,
Speaker 3: then you get excited. Paul says, I'm confident I believe
Speaker 3: in you. The second thing he did is he gave
Speaker 3: people vision, and the vision was you're gonna keep growing.
Speaker 3: God's not gonna what God starts, he finishes. He's not
Speaker 3: gonna leave you halfway out there. He gave people vision.
Speaker 3: He painted a picture of the future. Now why is
Speaker 3: that important? Because study after study after study shows that
Speaker 3: we tend to live up to the expectations of other people.
Speaker 3: When people expect the best of you, you tend to
Speaker 3: do better. When teachers expect to be the best of
Speaker 3: their students, they always perform better than teachers who don't
Speaker 3: expect the best from their students. That has been proven
Speaker 3: over and over again in studies that we tend to
Speaker 3: become what we believe the most important people in our
Speaker 3: lives think about us. So Paul says, I expect the
Speaker 3: best from people. I believe in people. I give people vision.
Speaker 3: And the third thing, this is really important. You write
Speaker 3: this down from this verse. He was patient with people's progress.
Speaker 3: I am confident to what God's begun in you. He's
Speaker 3: going to keep on and he's going to carry it
Speaker 3: to completion until the Jesus Day of Jesus Christ. He
Speaker 3: was patient with people's progress. Now, why is that I
Speaker 3: am so important to your happiness?
Speaker 2: I'll tell you why.
Speaker 3: If you insist on perfection in people, you're going to
Speaker 3: be miserable the rest of your life because there's nobody perfect,
Speaker 3: especially you. And if you're always expecting perfection in people
Speaker 3: before you can enjoy them, then you're never going to
Speaker 3: be happy because nobody's perfect.
Speaker 2: Paul says, I am patient with people's progress. Now, let
Speaker 2: me give you a little happiness hit on this one.
Speaker 3: You write this one down if you want to really
Speaker 3: be happy in your relationships, if you want to have
Speaker 3: happier relationships, helpier relationships, Celebrate how far people have come
Speaker 3: rather than judging them for how much they still have
Speaker 3: to go. Celebrate people for how far they've come, rather
Speaker 3: than judging how far they still have to go. You
Speaker 3: got to be patient with people's progress. When my kids
Speaker 3: were little, they would draw me pictures and they would
Speaker 3: bring it to me and they'd say, what do you
Speaker 3: think of this, Daddy? And I would say, that's perfect, Amy,
Speaker 3: that's perfect, Josh, that's perfect, Matthew.
Speaker 2: It looks great. And when I said that perfect, but
Speaker 2: I mean its a Picasso.
Speaker 3: No, it was perfect for that stage in their life.
Speaker 3: God doesn't wait until you're mature for him to start
Speaker 3: loving you, So you shouldn't do that with others either.
Speaker 3: You got to love them worts and all. You got
Speaker 3: to be patient with their progress. Now, what is the
Speaker 3: key to patience? How do I celebrate how far people
Speaker 3: have come rather than judging how far they still let go?
Speaker 3: The key to patience is love, and Paul says in
Speaker 3: the next verse, verse seven, it is right for me
Speaker 3: to feel this way. In other words, I expect the
Speaker 3: best from you. It's right for me to feel this
Speaker 3: way about you since I have you in my heart.
Speaker 3: Circle that phrase in my heart. This is a real
Speaker 3: key to happiness and it's real key to healthy relationships.
Speaker 3: You got to have people in your heart. You know
Speaker 3: what I've discovered if people aren't on my heart, they're
Speaker 3: on my nerves. And if I want to get them
Speaker 3: off my nerves, I gotta get them on my heart.
Speaker 3: If I'm praying for somebody, they just don't bug me
Speaker 3: as much. They just don't bother me as much. If
Speaker 3: they're on my heart, they're not on my nerves. But
Speaker 3: if I'm not praying for them, I get perturbed by
Speaker 3: them pretty easily. He says, I have you in my heart.
Speaker 3: You see, so many of the relationship problems that you have,
Speaker 3: that you have over and over and over, is because
Speaker 3: we all tend to react with our head, not with
Speaker 3: our heart, and that's the wrong place to go in relationships.
Speaker 3: That's you know, somebody comes you, let's say men, let
Speaker 3: me talk to them in for a minute. Your wife
Speaker 3: comes to you and says, honey, this really frightens me,
Speaker 3: This really worries me. This thing really concerns me. And
Speaker 3: you react not with your heart. You react with your
Speaker 3: head and go, well, that's illogical, that's dumb. You shouldn't
Speaker 3: feel that way. Well that was helpful. No, No, did
Speaker 3: that really build a bridge? No, no, it did at all,
Speaker 3: because you're reacting with your head rather than with your heart.
Speaker 3: When people say, and you've had people say this to
Speaker 3: you before, I just don't understand. You just don't understand.
Speaker 3: You just don't understand. They're not really talking about understanding.
Speaker 3: What they're really saying is you don't feel my pain.
Speaker 3: You don't feel what I'm feeling. Has nothing to do
Speaker 3: with understanding. It has everything to do with empathy. You're
Speaker 3: not sympathetic. You're not empathetic, you don't care, you're not
Speaker 3: feeling my feelings. And I say, you don't understand. We
Speaker 3: try to logic, get out and say, well, let me understand. No,
Speaker 3: it's not logic, it's it's feelings. Feelings are just feelings.
Speaker 3: They're not right or wrong, they're just they're just feelings.
Speaker 3: And so when Paul says, I have you on my heart,
Speaker 3: loving from the heart begins with understanding, and it means
Speaker 3: you know why they tick, you know how they tick,
Speaker 3: and you don't judge them for.
Speaker 2: Ticking that way.
Speaker 3: You just listen and you accept, and you listen and
Speaker 3: you understand moods and you respond accordingly. And that leads
Speaker 3: us to the fourth big habit. And this one is
Speaker 3: the granddaddy of them all. And Paul says, this is
Speaker 3: the fourth secret. I must love people in my life
Speaker 3: like Jesus does. I must love people in my life
Speaker 3: like Jesus does. I must be grateful for the people
Speaker 3: in life. I must pray for the people in my
Speaker 3: life with joy. I must expect the best from the
Speaker 3: people of my life. And I must love people in
Speaker 3: my life like Jesus does. Now again, I told you
Speaker 3: it's easy for me to teach it. It's incredibly hard
Speaker 3: for you to do this because you're not Jesus, and
Speaker 3: we tend to be self centered. We tend to look
Speaker 3: at our own needs and all of the things that
Speaker 3: have happened in their life. But I've got to love
Speaker 3: people like Jesus does.
Speaker 2: Verse eight.
Speaker 3: Here's the fourth thing Paul says about relational habits.
Speaker 2: God is my witness.
Speaker 3: That I tell the truth when I say that my
Speaker 3: deep love for you, my deep love for you, all
Speaker 3: comes from the heart of Christ, Jesus himself. I love
Speaker 3: this verse so much because I identify with it. See,
Speaker 3: Paul started the Philippian Church. He was the first member,
Speaker 3: he was the first pastor, and so I identify with
Speaker 3: how he felt about this church as I do about you.
Speaker 3: I want you to know that I am grateful for you,
Speaker 3: just like Paul was. I want you to know that
Speaker 3: I pray for you with joy. I want you to
Speaker 3: know that I believe in you, I have confidence in you,
Speaker 3: and I want you to know that it is an
Speaker 3: honor to serve you. First, John three point sixteen says this.
Speaker 3: This is how we know what real love is. Christ
Speaker 3: gave his life for us, so then we ought to
Speaker 3: give our lives for who for others?
Speaker 2: Now? What is that reference? Again? Look at it?
Speaker 3: What is it? It's first John three sixteen. Does that
Speaker 3: remind you of any other verse? John three sixteen? Same
Speaker 3: guy wrote, both, you know what the problem with relationships
Speaker 3: is today? People who know John three point sixteen ignore
Speaker 3: first John three sixteen.
Speaker 2: We all know John three sixteen. Most of you could
Speaker 2: quote it.
Speaker 3: God so loved the world that he gave his only
Speaker 3: son that whoever believes in him should not perish but
Speaker 3: have everlasting life. That's the way to salvation. It's a
Speaker 3: way to have past forgiven purpose for living home in heaven.
Speaker 3: God says, I sent my son. That's how much I
Speaker 3: love you. And we're all grateful for God's love for
Speaker 3: us John three sixteen. But we want to ignore one
Speaker 3: John three point sixteen. It says, and this is real love.
Speaker 3: God gave his life for us. He gave his son
Speaker 3: for us, and we must do the same thing. If
Speaker 3: we would do that, we would not have any relational
Speaker 3: problems because we wouldn't be thinking about ourselves, we'd be
Speaker 3: thinking about other people.
Speaker 2: That's bower Heads. Which of these four habits.
Speaker 3: Do you need to work on? Who do you need
Speaker 3: to be more grateful for? Who in your life have
Speaker 3: you taken for granted? Who have you failed to appreciate?
Speaker 3: Who have you because of their faults or flaws you
Speaker 3: have not been grateful for them? That's the first habit
Speaker 3: of happiness. Be grateful for the people in my life.
Speaker 3: Number two, are you praying for the people in your life?
Speaker 3: And are you praying with joy? Are you praying with complaining?
Speaker 3: God fix that person? Are you praying with joy? I'm
Speaker 3: going to encourage you to make a prayer list and
Speaker 3: write down some names and pray the four things that
Speaker 3: Paul prayed. That people will grow in love, that they
Speaker 3: will make wise choices, that they'll live with integrity, that
Speaker 3: will become like Jesus. Let me ask you this, are
Speaker 3: you patient with the progress of the people in your life,
Speaker 3: or do you demand perfection? It's never good enough. So
Speaker 3: I said, if people have to be perfect for you
Speaker 3: to enjoy them, you're never going to enjoy them. And
Speaker 3: number four, who do you need to start loving from
Speaker 3: the heart rather than from the head? Now, in this series,
Speaker 3: we're going to talk about the habits of happiness. Desire
Speaker 3: will get you started, but the habits will keep you going.
Speaker 3: So I want you to first make a commitment to
Speaker 3: be a part of this series. And why don't you,
Speaker 3: in your heart right now say God, I really do
Speaker 3: want to be happy and I want to learn the
Speaker 3: habits of happiness.
Speaker 2: And I commit to.
Speaker 3: Being a part and not missing any of this series
Speaker 3: that I may learn the habits of happiness. If you've
Speaker 3: never invited Christ in your life, say Jesus Christ, thank
Speaker 3: you for loving me, Thank you for dying for me.
Speaker 3: I don't understand it all, but I want to get
Speaker 3: to know you and I want to learn to love
Speaker 3: you back. And then, Dear God, I ask you to
Speaker 3: give me the power to be grateful for the people
Speaker 3: in my life. Help me to remember the best and
Speaker 3: forget the rest, and on those bad relationships, help me
Speaker 3: to start praying for them and pray with joy. Pray
Speaker 3: that they grow in love and that they live with
Speaker 3: integrity to become like Jesus. Dear God, I want you
Speaker 3: to help me develop the habit of expecting the best
Speaker 3: from the people in my life rather than criticizing the worst.
Speaker 3: Help me to believe in people. Help me to be
Speaker 3: confident and build confidence. Help me to be patient with
Speaker 3: people's progress. Help me to recognize how far people have come,
Speaker 3: not how far they still have to go. Dear God,
Speaker 3: help me to have love in my heart and to
Speaker 3: love people not from the head. Men. You guys who
Speaker 3: are married, say God, help me to love my wife
Speaker 3: from my heart, not from my head. And help me
Speaker 3: to love people in my life like Jesus does. That
Speaker 3: I would be willing to lay down my life in
Speaker 3: sacrifice or in service. I pray this in Jesus' name.
Speaker 2: Amen.
Speaker 4: If you just prayed to receive jesus congratulations, we would
Speaker 4: love to send you some free materials to help you
Speaker 4: along on your spiritual journey. Just email Rick at Pastorick
Speaker 4: dot com. That's Rick at Pastorrick dot com. Here's Rick
Speaker 4: to tell you how you can help support this ministry.
Speaker 3: Jesus told his disciples that they should live their lives
Speaker 3: according to five specific purposes. He said, you've got to
Speaker 3: love God with all your heart. That's worship. And love
Speaker 3: your neighbors yourself. That's ministry. That's called the Great Commandment.
Speaker 3: And then Jesus said, go make disciples. That's evangelism. Baptize
Speaker 3: them into the Family of God. That's fellowship, a sign
Speaker 3: of fellowship. And then he said, teach them obey everything
Speaker 3: I've taught you. That's discipleship, and that the Great Commission.
Speaker 3: We believe it daily hope that a great commitment to
Speaker 3: the Great Commandment and the Great Commission will produce a
Speaker 3: great Christian, a great church, a great company, a great community.
Speaker 3: You know, I started Daily Hope so I could spread
Speaker 3: the good news about Jesus, not just across America, but
Speaker 3: all around the world. And we want people to know
Speaker 3: that God's word is filled with hope and truth, and
Speaker 3: the power that we need to follow him every day
Speaker 3: is available to every single one. You know as well
Speaker 3: as I do, that the Word of God changes lives.
Speaker 3: It's a live it's active, and it breathes new life
Speaker 3: and new love into all of our lives. So Wherever
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