Speaker 1: Episode with two stories. First part, I hope you enjoy
Speaker 1: this story. Mill attempted to coerce me into consuming a
Speaker 1: dessert that I have a severe allergy to at her
Speaker 1: Silver Jubilee celebration, and now she is repenting due to
Speaker 1: Phil's actions. I a twenty seven year old female experience
Speaker 1: married to my husband Frank thirty m about a year
Speaker 1: ago after being together for two years. I've met his
Speaker 1: family plenty of times and we all used to get
Speaker 1: along until recently when he and I were visiting his
Speaker 1: parents and the conversation somehow turned to kids and I
Speaker 1: casually mentioned that I wasn't interested in being a mother.
Speaker 1: My husband and I have obviously talked about this before,
Speaker 1: and both of us are on the same page about
Speaker 1: kids that we don't want kids. My mother in law,
Speaker 1: Sharon fifty two f was the one who initiated the
Speaker 1: conversation at dinner that day, and when my husband and
Speaker 1: I made it known that we weren't planning on having kids, ever,
Speaker 1: she tried to change our minds, especially mine. She continued
Speaker 1: to try and convinced me to have kids at some
Speaker 1: point for the next couple of days, until I told
Speaker 1: her that I wasn't interested and that neither was my husband.
Speaker 1: So that was it, and I didn't want to discuss
Speaker 1: this further. I made my boundaries clear, and I guess
Speaker 1: she couldn't handle it, because after that she started being
Speaker 1: really cold to me and would act weird every time
Speaker 1: I came around. My father in law Ben fifty three
Speaker 1: m didn't seem to care much, which was a relief.
Speaker 1: I did discuss Sharon's behavior with Frank, but he told
Speaker 1: me that she was just upset and would come around
Speaker 1: eventually because it's not like she had a choice. It
Speaker 1: wasn't her place to dictate whether we should have kids
Speaker 1: or not, so she could act upset, but it wasn't
Speaker 1: going to change our decision. I felt better after talking
Speaker 1: about it to Frank, and since we still had to
Speaker 1: continue visiting his parents because Ben wasn't keeping well, I
Speaker 1: decided not to make a big deal out of it
Speaker 1: and tried my best to be polite and cordial, even
Speaker 1: though she didn't extend the same courtesy to me. Now,
Speaker 1: a few days ago, we attended the twenty fifth wedding anniversary,
Speaker 1: and it had been organized by Frank's older brother, who's
Speaker 1: a surgeon, so he was able to throw a very
Speaker 1: lavish and fancy party and invited almost everybody that we knew,
Speaker 1: including my parents. We were all having a great time
Speaker 1: at the party. Even though Sharon was giving me the
Speaker 1: cold shoulder. I wasn't particularly bothered by it and went
Speaker 1: on having fun with my husband and my parents. Then
Speaker 1: it was finally time to cut the cake, which I
Speaker 1: knew I wouldn't be able to have because it was
Speaker 1: a chocolate peanut butter cake and I had a deathly
Speaker 1: allergy to peanuts or nuts of any kind for that matter.
Speaker 1: And it was a pretty nutty cake, which goes perfectly
Speaker 1: with Sharon's personality now that I think of it. She
Speaker 1: cut the cake along with Ben, and we all clapped.
Speaker 1: It was a beautiful moment. Then everybody was served with
Speaker 1: a slice of the cake, but I obviously didn't take any,
Speaker 1: and nobody questioned it. Since everyone was well aware of
Speaker 1: my allergies, I didn't even mind not having cake. But
Speaker 1: for some reason, as soon as Sharon saw me sitting
Speaker 1: on my own without cake, she made a huge deal
Speaker 1: of walking over to me and asking me if I
Speaker 1: wasn't feeling up to it. She told me to have
Speaker 1: a bite of her slice, which I politely declined, and
Speaker 1: I found it very weird that she was even offering
Speaker 1: me because because she knew that I was allergic. She
Speaker 1: insisted again and again that I take one bite at
Speaker 1: the very least, while I kept refusing and even told
Speaker 1: her that I was allergic and I physically couldn't have
Speaker 1: that cake. She tried to tell me that it wouldn't
Speaker 1: hurt if I had just one tiny little bite, but
Speaker 1: I wasn't willing to risk it. After almost one minute
Speaker 1: of back and forth, she exclaimed, oh, just take a bite,
Speaker 1: and before I could react, she smashed the cake into
Speaker 1: my mouth. I spit it all out immediately, and I
Speaker 1: had to grab a tissue from Frank so I could
Speaker 1: get any remnants out of my mouth immediately. It was disgusting,
Speaker 1: and I was actually sputtering while rinsing my mouth while
Speaker 1: Frank yelled at his mother. After half a minute, when
Speaker 1: I finally got over the shock of what she did,
Speaker 1: I came back to talk to Charon and told her off.
Speaker 1: I yelled at her and said that what she did
Speaker 1: just now was psychotic and I was never going to
Speaker 1: come back here again because there was something very wrong
Speaker 1: with her. I also told her that just because I
Speaker 1: wasn't willing to have kids didn't mean that she was
Speaker 1: going to treat me however she wanted to, and I
Speaker 1: was going to take it. I didn't care about what
Speaker 1: her opinion was on whether I should have a child
Speaker 1: or not. What mattered was my opinion in Frank's opinion,
Speaker 1: and trying to force an allergy reaction just because I
Speaker 1: wasn't going to give her grandchildren was textbook psychotic behavior.
Speaker 1: I knew what her behavior was really about, and I
Speaker 1: wanted to let her know that I wasn't intimidated by
Speaker 1: her in the least. She tried to defend herself and
Speaker 1: said that she just didn't know that my allergies were
Speaker 1: that serious. That was a total, un blatant lie, because
Speaker 1: she'd known me for almost three years now and had
Speaker 1: cooked many meals for me. She knew that I was
Speaker 1: allergic to all sorts of nuts, and nobody was buying
Speaker 1: that excuse that she didn't know. I told her that
Speaker 1: I didn't believe a word she was saying and called
Speaker 1: her a crazy liar. Then she lost her temper and
Speaker 1: said that she didn't believe me either, neither about the
Speaker 1: allergies nor about the fact that her son wasn't willing
Speaker 1: to have kids because he knew that she wanted to
Speaker 1: be a grandma and he would never deprive her of
Speaker 1: a joy like that. She accused me of faking my
Speaker 1: allergies for attention and said that I probably wasn't willing
Speaker 1: to have kids, and he turned her son against the
Speaker 1: idea as well, only because I might be infertile. And
Speaker 1: that pushed me to the edge. So I grabbed a
Speaker 1: chunk of cake from Frank's plate and smashed it on
Speaker 1: her face and asked how she liked it. After that,
Speaker 1: I stormed out without waiting for anyone, got into my car,
Speaker 1: and thankfully Frank was just behind me with my parents.
Speaker 1: They got in as well, and we drove back home quietly.
Speaker 1: I dropped my parents at their place, and then Frank
Speaker 1: and I headed home. It was a completely silent car ride,
Speaker 1: and even after we got home, we didn't say anything
Speaker 1: to each other for an hour or so. I guess
Speaker 1: Frank was waiting for me to calm down before he
Speaker 1: came in and spoke to me. In the evening, he
Speaker 1: made me some coffee and we finally sat together in
Speaker 1: the living room and he brought up what had happened
Speaker 1: at the party. I started off by apologizing to him,
Speaker 1: even though it wasn't my fault, but I still felt
Speaker 1: embarrassed for acting the way I did, and he told
Speaker 1: me that it was fine because he knew that I
Speaker 1: wasn't the one to blame. He then went on to
Speaker 1: tell me that the people who'd stayed back at the
Speaker 1: party were the ones who filled him in on what
Speaker 1: happened after we left. Apparently, Sharon started crying after Frank
Speaker 1: walked out and chose to follow me instead of staying
Speaker 1: back to see her. She was playing the victim, and
Speaker 1: her family was lapping it all up, calling me the
Speaker 1: most derogatory names in the book and accusing me of
Speaker 1: trying to take Frank away from her. The only one
Speaker 1: who called her out on her bs was Ben, surprisingly
Speaker 1: since he usually tended to stay away from family drama,
Speaker 1: especially when it involved his wife, but this time he
Speaker 1: stood up for us and told Sharon that she had
Speaker 1: nobody else to blame but herself for Frank walking out
Speaker 1: on her, because she'd always been a control freak and
Speaker 1: couldn't stand it whenever somebody tried to do anything that
Speaker 1: didn't align with her plans, they got into a bad
Speaker 1: fight and everybody just waited around awkwardly while they argued
Speaker 1: with each other. Sharon accused him of choosing me over
Speaker 1: her and said that he was being unreasonable, but Ben
Speaker 1: stuck to his guns and didn't back down. They just
Speaker 1: went on arguing until Frank's older brother finally broke them up,
Speaker 1: and everybody went home after that because the day was
Speaker 1: pretty much ruined. One of Frank's cousins recorded the fight,
Speaker 1: and it was nice to see Ben sticking up for us.
Speaker 1: She and a couple of other relatives are the only
Speaker 1: ones on our side right now. Frank's brother thinks that
Speaker 1: I should apologize because he believes that I overreacted and
Speaker 1: that I shouldn't have brought up my personal grudges against
Speaker 1: Sharon on the day of their anniversary and made it
Speaker 1: all about myself and not just him. But Sharon's family
Speaker 1: also feels the same way and is saying that I
Speaker 1: owe them an apology because the fight wasn't even about
Speaker 1: us having kids or anything else in the first place.
Speaker 1: I made it about that. They think that I shouldn't
Speaker 1: have brought it up, and if I had been that
Speaker 1: offended by Sharon, trying to force me to eat cake,
Speaker 1: then I should have just walked out after that instead
Speaker 1: of retaliating and creating a whole scene. They believed that
Speaker 1: I was the reason that Ben and Sharon ended up fighting,
Speaker 1: and had I just done the right thing and walked off,
Speaker 1: then nobody would have had to deal with that fight. Later,
Speaker 1: Frank told his brother off and said that I wasn't
Speaker 1: going to apologize because none of this was my fault,
Speaker 1: but all of them are pretty convinced that I'm the
Speaker 1: culprit and I ruined Sharon's anniversary party on purpose and
Speaker 1: caused Ben and Sharon to fight on their anniversary. From
Speaker 1: what they told me, the two of them aren't even
Speaker 1: talking right now, since Sharon packed a few of her
Speaker 1: things and went to live with a friend of hers
Speaker 1: after their big fight. Ben hasn't even tried to call
Speaker 1: her back. So i'd have for fighting with my mother
Speaker 1: in law on the day of her anniversary for trying
Speaker 1: to force feed me cake. Update one, Hey, thank you
Speaker 1: for all the comments. Frank and I are really grateful
Speaker 1: for all the support and the overwhelming number of people
Speaker 1: who commented to tell us that we are indeed not
Speaker 1: the ones at fault here. I did feel a tiny
Speaker 1: bit responsible when I learned that Ben and Sharon weren't
Speaker 1: even on talking terms after they fought, But after reading
Speaker 1: the comments, I realized that this wasn't my fault. It
Speaker 1: was Sharon's fault. She ruined her own party by making
Speaker 1: it all about me. To be precise, she didn't even
Speaker 1: make it about me. She made it about her issues
Speaker 1: with me, which is even worse because that day was
Speaker 1: supposed to be a celebration of her marriage to her husband.
Speaker 1: She chose to try and force feed me a cake
Speaker 1: that she knew very well I was allergic to, just
Speaker 1: for the heck of it, and then when the situation
Speaker 1: got worse, she started crying and playing the victim as
Speaker 1: if she wasn't the one trying to trigger an allergic reaction,
Speaker 1: only because I'd told her that I wasn't going to
Speaker 1: give her grandkids. And it isn't even as if I
Speaker 1: owe her grandkids, nobody does. She ruined her own party period.
Speaker 1: I don't owe her anything, not an apology, and definitely
Speaker 1: not grandchildren. It's been a few days in Frank's brother
Speaker 1: and a couple of other relatives of his have been
Speaker 1: texting him almost every day to give him unnecessary updates
Speaker 1: on how Sharon is doing, which is almost always a
Speaker 1: reminder that she's miserable and a way to tell us
Speaker 1: that with a reason behind her misery. He hasn't replied
Speaker 1: to any of them and is just ignoring it all.
Speaker 1: But he hasn't blocked them either, because he thinks that
Speaker 1: Sharon might snap and go crazy, and he'd want updates
Speaker 1: for when that happens in case it's a little too
Speaker 1: intense for them to handle, if y'all know know what
Speaker 1: I mean. Meanwhile, Ben's been doing just fine. We went
Speaker 1: over to his place the other day to see how
Speaker 1: he's been, and he appears to be completely unbothered by
Speaker 1: sharon leaving. He told us that for a long time
Speaker 1: he hadn't said anything to her, even though he could
Speaker 1: tell that she was becoming a little too overbearing and
Speaker 1: controlling and could predict that at some point either Frank
Speaker 1: or I were going to snap at her. He tried
Speaker 1: to warn her several times in person, but she'd just
Speaker 1: never listen, and when she started crying at the party
Speaker 1: after we left, he couldn't take it because he could
Speaker 1: just see through her so clearly and knew that she
Speaker 1: was trying to gain sympathy after screwing up, so he
Speaker 1: called her out on her bs, and as usual, she
Speaker 1: couldn't handle the truth, so she left. He told us
Speaker 1: that he knows she expects him to reach out to
Speaker 1: her first and apologize for the way he behaved, but
Speaker 1: he's not going to do that any more because he
Speaker 1: says he's too old to constantly be sorry for speaking
Speaker 1: his mind, and if after twenty five years of marriage,
Speaker 1: she still can't handle this sort of candor, then they
Speaker 1: probably shouldn't be married. Update too, So a couple of
Speaker 1: things happened after that last update. Firstly, Charon reached out
Speaker 1: to Frank to demand an explanation for why he was
Speaker 1: visiting Ben but not her. I guess the neighbors must
Speaker 1: have seen us come and snitched on us or something.
Speaker 1: Frank told her that since this fight was actually her fault,
Speaker 1: he figured that his father would need him more than
Speaker 1: she would because she's just upset for sympathy and we
Speaker 1: can see through that act now. She got offended by
Speaker 1: that and they had an argument on the phone, and
Speaker 1: for some reason she started accusing me of turning him
Speaker 1: against her, as if she doesn't do that job well
Speaker 1: enough herself. She told Frank that this was all my
Speaker 1: doing and she knew it, and even when Frank tried
Speaker 1: to tell her that I had nothing to do with
Speaker 1: this and these were his own personal opinions, she wouldn't
Speaker 1: hear it and insisted that this was all my fault,
Speaker 1: that lady has it in for me, just because I
Speaker 1: don't want to have kids, and it's the most ridiculous
Speaker 1: reason I can think of to hate somebody. I told
Speaker 1: Frank that I didn't want to talk to her any
Speaker 1: more and if she called again, then he shouldn't entertain it,
Speaker 1: and he agreed, because there's just no point in trying
Speaker 1: to reason with her. She's beyond that. The second thing
Speaker 1: that happened was that we visited Ben at his house
Speaker 1: yesterday in the evening, and for the first time, he
Speaker 1: offered us drinks. Ben usually doesn't drink because of his health,
Speaker 1: and we weren't sure if it was the right idea yesterday,
Speaker 1: but he insisted on it. Apparently he'd spoken to a
Speaker 1: lawyer and was thinking of getting a divorce. It's a
Speaker 1: very big move after twenty five years of marriage, and
Speaker 1: we asked him if he was sure about it, but
Speaker 1: he didn't seem to care and didn't even seem upset.
Speaker 1: Frank was a little shaken up by that news and
Speaker 1: took some time to process it, but Ben told him
Speaker 1: that this was the best decision that he could make
Speaker 1: under these circumstances. He said that he'd been thinking about
Speaker 1: this for a while now because he just wasn't happy
Speaker 1: and Sharon was becoming increasingly annoying to be around. When
Speaker 1: we asked him how long he'd been considering a divorce,
Speaker 1: we expected him to say maybe a month or two,
Speaker 1: but he shocked us and said that he'd been thinking
Speaker 1: about it for almost ten years now. He told us
Speaker 1: that when Frank was twenty and was about to graduate college,
Speaker 1: Ben thought that now that Frank was an adult and
Speaker 1: could handle his life and his finances, he could join
Speaker 1: his brother in a new business venture. Both of them
Speaker 1: had been talking about it for quite some time, but
Speaker 1: Ben hadn't been able to commit because he had a
Speaker 1: family to look after unlike his brother, and had a
Speaker 1: lot more financial responsibilities resting on him that he had
Speaker 1: to think about. So he couldn't just quit his job
Speaker 1: and start a new business, which could take some time
Speaker 1: to become stable. But after Frank graduated, he told his
Speaker 1: brother that he was ready and he was about to
Speaker 1: quit his job, but while discussing it with Sharon, she
Speaker 1: told him it was a terrible idea and made him
Speaker 1: back down. She said that they wouldn't know for sure
Speaker 1: if the business was going to take off, and Frank
Speaker 1: didn't even have a job yet, so he'd probably need
Speaker 1: money for a couple of years before he was finally
Speaker 1: able to settle down. He tried to reason with her
Speaker 1: and even said that he could probably work in the
Speaker 1: business part time and retain his job, but she made
Speaker 1: him give up the idea altogether, and now his brother,
Speaker 1: who runs he's the business on his own, is earning
Speaker 1: almost thrice the amount that he makes. They've kept in
Speaker 1: touch and there's not a day that goes by where
Speaker 1: Ben doesn't regret listening to what Sharon had told him.
Speaker 1: She hadn't even tried to talk to him, but had
Speaker 1: given him an ultimatum that if he took his brother
Speaker 1: up on that offer, then she'd take Frank and leave him,
Speaker 1: which forced him to give up on that idea. His
Speaker 1: brother still wants him to come on board, but Ben
Speaker 1: feels like he's just too old and he's going to
Speaker 1: retire in a couple of years anyway, so it's just
Speaker 1: not going to be worth it. Frank was almost on
Speaker 1: the verge of tears because of how dejected his father
Speaker 1: sounded while talking about the opportunities that he'd lost just
Speaker 1: because he listened to Sharon who wasn't willing to bet
Speaker 1: on a brilliant mind like him. And it's true, Ben
Speaker 1: actually is one of the wisest and most intellectual people
Speaker 1: I know personally. I knew that if he was willing
Speaker 1: to invest in something, then it definitely wasn't a bad idea,
Speaker 1: and it's being proved by his brother, who worked on
Speaker 1: the business idea that Ben created and is now a
Speaker 1: successful businessman. Frank suggested that he take up whatever position
Speaker 1: and his brother was going to offer him, even if
Speaker 1: it was just a couple of years away from his retirement,
Speaker 1: because at the end of the day, at least he'd
Speaker 1: have the satisfaction of knowing that he tried. Ben argued
Speaker 1: that it was too late for him and said that
Speaker 1: the position was not a problem because his brother was
Speaker 1: ready to make him a partner in the firm, but
Speaker 1: he was just not into it any more. We were
Speaker 1: really upset to hear him talk like that, so Frank
Speaker 1: and I decided that we were going to talk some
Speaker 1: sense into him, and we kept convincing him that he
Speaker 1: should talk to his brother and join him, because it
Speaker 1: was never going to be too late to do something
Speaker 1: for yourself. It was corny and preachy, but after a
Speaker 1: while we managed to convince him to at least contact
Speaker 1: his brother about this and talk to him about it,
Speaker 1: which is good. As for the divorce, we're obviously going
Speaker 1: to be supporting him in it. Sharon can't just try
Speaker 1: and control everybody's lives around her and think that it's
Speaker 1: completely fine and she can get away with it. The
Speaker 1: way she treated Ben wasn't fair, and what she did
Speaker 1: to me and Frank recently is also not fair, and
Speaker 1: she needs to know and learn that she can't just
Speaker 1: push people around and bully them into doing what she
Speaker 1: wants to do. It finally makes sense why Ben was
Speaker 1: so upset when she was trying to humiliate us at
Speaker 1: the party, all because we weren't willing to obey her orders.
Speaker 1: And even after all of this, she still has the
Speaker 1: audacity to pretend like she's somehow the victim in the situation.
Speaker 1: I don't even feel bad for her any more, because
Speaker 1: she's shown us that she doesn't deserve any sympathy from anyone,
Speaker 1: and all the people who are feeding into her delusions
Speaker 1: of her being the long suffering, tragic victim are probably
Speaker 1: just fools or they only want drama, and that's about it.
Speaker 1: Update three, Ben and his lawyer filed the petition today
Speaker 1: and Frank was with them. He told me that Ben
Speaker 1: was really relieved, and they went out for celebratory drinks afterward.
Speaker 1: I have a lot of work to catch up on,
Speaker 1: so I couldn't join them, but I'm happy to know
Speaker 1: that he's finally living for himself now. The guy is
Speaker 1: in his fifties. He deserves to do whatever makes him
Speaker 1: happy instead of constantly thinking about what his wife would
Speaker 1: say or how his son would feel. This is another
Speaker 1: reason why I didn't want to have kids, because I
Speaker 1: don't think I'm selfless enough to put somebody else before
Speaker 1: me constantly, and I don't think Frank is either. And
Speaker 1: then there are people like Sharon who are selfish and
Speaker 1: yet still choose to have kids just so they can
Speaker 1: control them and continue to put themselves over their kids.
Speaker 1: It's been a couple of days and we haven't heard
Speaker 1: from her yet, so I guess she's giving the victim
Speaker 1: actor rest for now, or maybe she's just planning a
Speaker 1: theatrical and dramatic comeback. Knowing her, I wouldn't completely rule
Speaker 1: the second theory out. I just hope that whatever she
Speaker 1: has to do isn't scheduled to happen before she gets
Speaker 1: served with the divorce papers. It'll be awkward if she
Speaker 1: decides to come back and Ben tells her that he
Speaker 1: wants a divorce. Frank and I have discussed the possibility
Speaker 1: of that happening, and we know that she's going to
Speaker 1: throw a fit either way, but it'll just be worse
Speaker 1: if she does it in person. I'm just keeping my
Speaker 1: fingers crossed that she stays away for a couple of
Speaker 1: more days. Update four. All right, So Sharon was served
Speaker 1: with a divorce a couple of days ago, and like
Speaker 1: I said, she threw a fit. Interestingly enough, it wasn't
Speaker 1: Ben that she was upset with, but it was me.
Speaker 1: I really didn't see that coming because I didn't think
Speaker 1: there was anywhere she could make this about me since
Speaker 1: this was between her and her husband. But I guess
Speaker 1: I underestimated her, since as soon as she was served,
Speaker 1: she decided to go online and make a post about
Speaker 1: how I'd manipulated Ben into leaving her, and now all
Speaker 1: of us were probably going to celebrate because I'd won
Speaker 1: and she'd lost. I honestly wasn't even competing with her,
Speaker 1: so I don't know where the winning losing thing comes from.
Speaker 1: And it's pretty disturbing to think that she looked at
Speaker 1: me as competition because she's a lot older than me
Speaker 1: and is literally my mother in law. It's weird. She
Speaker 1: didn't even talk to Frank or to Ben about it
Speaker 1: before she made the post, and there were like three
Speaker 1: paragraphs dedicated to how I was ruining her life by
Speaker 1: turning her loved ones against her. Only towards the end
Speaker 1: did she say that she was very disappointed with the
Speaker 1: other two as well, for falling from my manipulation and deception.
Speaker 1: It was crazy to me how everything in her life
Speaker 1: has started to revolve around me, and it's honestly kind
Speaker 1: of creepy. Frank has blocked her and so have I,
Speaker 1: but her relatives keep texting me to tell me how
Speaker 1: evil I am. It's sad because they think it bothers me,
Speaker 1: but it only makes me laugh at how stupid there being.
Speaker 1: Even if I actually was a master manipulator, I couldn't
Speaker 1: manipulate someone into leaving their wife unless they actually wanted
Speaker 1: to deep down, And I guess people as stupid as
Speaker 1: them are forgetting that because to them, it's only important
Speaker 1: that they blame me and paint me as the villain.
Speaker 1: Ben has apologized for it, even though he has no
Speaker 1: reason to apologize to me because none of this is
Speaker 1: his fault. It's his soon to be ex wives. But
Speaker 1: I appreciate the fact that he's trying to be nice,
Speaker 1: since not a lot of people are built that way,
Speaker 1: especially in Frank's family. But either way, they're going to
Speaker 1: get a divorce, and blaming me is not going to
Speaker 1: change the fact. So the sooner she accepts it, the
Speaker 1: better it is for her. Frank and I are happy anyway,
Speaker 1: so if she's miserable because of that, then that's her
Speaker 1: own problem. That's the end of the first story. Let's
Speaker 1: begin the second one. I hope you enjoy this story.
Speaker 1: My partner was unfaithful to me, and now I am
Speaker 1: expecting a baby. Essentially, as the heading suggests, my partner
Speaker 1: and I have been in a relationship for three years,
Speaker 1: and I cherish him deeply. I know three years isn't
Speaker 1: that long, and I've had longer relationships, but mine with
Speaker 1: him is definitely the most serious by far, and not
Speaker 1: just because he proposed. I've never loved anyone more than him,
Speaker 1: and when I fell for him, it was a much
Speaker 1: stronger and intense connection that I've ever had for anyone
Speaker 1: in my life. I'm only twenty six, so I know
Speaker 1: have time find someone else, but I'm so incredibly heartbroken
Speaker 1: in ways I didn't even imagine I could break. This
Speaker 1: is by far the worst pain I've ever felt. I
Speaker 1: don't know how it happened. This was the healthiest relationship
Speaker 1: I've ever been in, and I was so excited to
Speaker 1: get married and have our child. He doesn't even know
Speaker 1: I'm pregnant because his birthday is next month and I
Speaker 1: wanted to surprise him. There were none of the usual
Speaker 1: signs like our relationship declining for the past several months.
Speaker 1: It was like one day the switch just flipped. I
Speaker 1: noticed he was first off like two weeks ago, after
Speaker 1: we came home from my friend's place after hanging out.
Speaker 1: He seemed distant, but I just chalked it up to
Speaker 1: him being tired, But then he continued to be a
Speaker 1: little distant. I know his boss has been on his
Speaker 1: ass lately about a work project. He's an engineer, and
Speaker 1: I thought he was just stressed about it. These past
Speaker 1: two weeks, we haven't been having intimacy either, but that's
Speaker 1: not out of the normal, because when he's really stressed,
Speaker 1: either with family stuff or work, he isn't usually in
Speaker 1: the mood. On Friday, I went out of town to
Speaker 1: visit my sister, and I just got home today. Originally
Speaker 1: the plan was for him to go with me, but
Speaker 1: he told me he really needed the weekend to work
Speaker 1: on his project, which I didn't find suspicious at all.
Speaker 1: He knew what day and what time I would be
Speaker 1: coming home. Yet when I got into our home, the
Speaker 1: kitchen hadn't been cleaned from what was obviously a romantic dinner,
Speaker 1: and when I got to the bedroom, the sheets where
Speaker 1: a mess, and a woman's lingerie was on the floor
Speaker 1: by the door, and his pants and their shoes were
Speaker 1: in the hallway, very obviously hastily taken off on the
Speaker 1: way to our shared bedroom, our shared bed, our shared
Speaker 1: everything in our sacred place. It just seems so Carly's.
Speaker 1: He knew what I would see and didn't even bother
Speaker 1: to clean up. Did he really think I'd stay? Did
Speaker 1: he really think I just wouldn't care? He's not picking
Speaker 1: up my calls, and when I texted him, I realized
Speaker 1: he'd blocked me. If he was into someone else, why
Speaker 1: didn't he just say that? Why would he let me
Speaker 1: find out in the most hurtful way in the world.
Speaker 1: Even worse, I know who the girl is because she
Speaker 1: left her jewelry, and it's someone who I was insecure
Speaker 1: about when our relationship first started, but that I got
Speaker 1: over the longer we were together. I don't know what
Speaker 1: to do. I had to get out of our home,
Speaker 1: So now I'm just crying on my front lawn. I'm
Speaker 1: too mortified to call anyone close to me, and a
Speaker 1: million thoughts are running through my mind. What am I
Speaker 1: going to do with the baby? I can't even imagine
Speaker 1: trying to co parent with him after a betrayal like this.
Speaker 1: Why did he do this? What changed? Did he get
Speaker 1: bored of me? Why wasn't I enough? Why her? Why me?
Speaker 1: What am I going to tell people? How am I
Speaker 1: ever going to trust someone again. Where am I going
Speaker 1: to live? Which of our mutual friends will choose him?
Speaker 1: Does this mean I can't be friends with his sister anymore?
Speaker 1: Just so many questions with zero explanations. I can't even
Speaker 1: put into words how soul damaged, emotionally crushed, and absolutely
Speaker 1: wrecked I am. I'm so hurt. I can't even talk
Speaker 1: about it. I can't even call my therapist. So now
Speaker 1: I'm typing it all out because I just had to
Speaker 1: tell somebody what was happening, even if it was strangers
Speaker 1: on the internet. A mini update is on my page
Speaker 1: for anyone who wants it, but I didn't want this
Speaker 1: post to get too long, so I made a separate
Speaker 1: post for the update my fiance cheated on me. Update
Speaker 1: update one mini update. Hey everyone, thank all much for
Speaker 1: the kind words. Sorry I haven't responded to any comments
Speaker 1: or anything, but really I was just so overwhelmed. I
Speaker 1: ended up calling my therapist and currently I'm staying with
Speaker 1: my best friend, but just for a few days until
Speaker 1: I can get a flight to where my parents live.
Speaker 1: My therapist recommended that I leave the situation off the internet,
Speaker 1: and usually I would listen to her, but I know
Speaker 1: some of you genuinely do care to hear what happens
Speaker 1: to me. So I'm going to post the final update,
Speaker 1: probably tomorrow if I'm not too devastated, or the day after.
Speaker 1: After that, I will most likely delete my account. First thing, first,
Speaker 1: I am keeping the baby where I live. I'm too
Speaker 1: far along to get an abortion. The time span to
Speaker 1: get one is really short. I'm currently two months and
Speaker 1: I haven't started showing. My ex fiance didn't notice because
Speaker 1: the birth control I take makes me not have a period.
Speaker 1: But if I'm being completely transparent, I probably would have
Speaker 1: kept this pregnancy anyway. Second, I took pictures like all
Speaker 1: of you suggested, and I'm meeting a lawyer later this week. Third,
Speaker 1: I called his sister, and I have no idea what
Speaker 1: he told them about me, but I've never heard her
Speaker 1: of so much venom like what she had on that
Speaker 1: phone call with me. I told her what happened, and
Speaker 1: she wasn't shocked at all and said, in this exact wording, wow,
Speaker 1: you really haven't figured out why he did this to
Speaker 1: you at all, have you? And then as she was
Speaker 1: telling me to never call anyone in their family again,
Speaker 1: I had to shout over her that I was pregnant
Speaker 1: in case she blocked me. I could hear the shocked
Speaker 1: silence and told her I would literally piss on a
Speaker 1: stick in front of her if she didn't believe me.
Speaker 1: I think she could tell from my voice that I
Speaker 1: was telling the truth, and told me that she would
Speaker 1: get her brother to meet me at the house later
Speaker 1: today to talk, and I that I had to tell
Speaker 1: him I was pregnant myself, and she wouldn't do that
Speaker 1: burden for me. She then abruptly hung up. His sister
Speaker 1: and I have always been close, and I remember how
Speaker 1: I used to wait all day in the hospital when
Speaker 1: she was getting treated for her breast cancer. I have
Speaker 1: no idea what could have made her hate me this much,
Speaker 1: what lies he could have told her. I just cried
Speaker 1: so much after this phone call. My best friend is
Speaker 1: going to go over with me when I talked to him,
Speaker 1: and she's going to wait outside in the car. See
Speaker 1: you guys tomorrow or later this week. I'm reposting this
Speaker 1: because I've gotten some comments saying they couldn't see my update.
Speaker 1: I think it got taken down because I mentioned the
Speaker 1: abortion laws where I live. I'm not trying to push
Speaker 1: any political agenda or cause a hot topic in the comments.
Speaker 1: I'm just being truthful about the area in which I live.
Speaker 1: Sorry that I'm posting later than I said I would,
Speaker 1: but I ended up having a miscarriage because of the
Speaker 1: stress and needed time to process final update. When I
Speaker 1: got into our home, my fiancee was very callous and cruel.
Speaker 1: He berated me and would not let me get a
Speaker 1: word in. He screamed at me that I needed to
Speaker 1: drop the victim act or else he would tell all
Speaker 1: my friends and family the truth about me. I asked,
Speaker 1: how could I be playing the victim when he's the
Speaker 1: one who cheated and then let me find out in
Speaker 1: an abusive, disgusting, and psychotic way. Before I get into
Speaker 1: the rest of this update, I feel like some background
Speaker 1: information is needed. Before I got with my fiance my
Speaker 1: hair was completely virgin. It was a brown color that
Speaker 1: looked red in the sun glide and photos that I loved,
Speaker 1: and his was pink. When we got close, I learned
Speaker 1: that it was pink in support of his sister, who
Speaker 1: got diagnosed with breast cancer about eight months in, I
Speaker 1: decided to die my hair pink for his sister's upcoming
Speaker 1: breast cancer surgery. Him and his entire family was touched
Speaker 1: by the gesture, and everyone ended up dyeing their hair
Speaker 1: pink before her surgery. My fiance was especially touched because
Speaker 1: he knew how much I really liked my natural color.
Speaker 1: After his sister went into remission, we started to do
Speaker 1: in cute matching couple hair of all different colors. When
Speaker 1: we visited my friend a couple weeks ago, she was
Speaker 1: making a video of memories from over the years because
Speaker 1: one of our friends, Big thirty, is coming up and
Speaker 1: she plans to show it at the party. After we
Speaker 1: came home from her place. This was when I first
Speaker 1: noticed he was off. He saw a video on her
Speaker 1: computer of me with very bright red hair, which is
Speaker 1: not my natural color, even in the sunlight, which is
Speaker 1: maybe a shade red above auburn. Before I go any further,
Speaker 1: this video was from mid twenty nineteen, before we got
Speaker 1: together and was not real dye. It was one of
Speaker 1: those non bleach, non damage hair waxes that come out
Speaker 1: after a single wash. In this video, I'm making out
Speaker 1: with a former male friend of mine. We were bar
Speaker 1: hopping and you can see us in the back as
Speaker 1: we're walking to the next bar. Last summer, my fiancee
Speaker 1: and I dyed our hair bright red like what's on
Speaker 1: the video, and he thought that I had cheated on
Speaker 1: him because he knows my hair was virgin before I
Speaker 1: died at Pink in support of his sister. While we
Speaker 1: were arguing, he kept telling that I had cheated first
Speaker 1: and that my f king hair was red, and that's
Speaker 1: how he knew that I had cheated with old male
Speaker 1: friend's name that I cut off because we'd slept together
Speaker 1: once before I got with my fiance and that made
Speaker 1: him uncomfortable, and that he'd saw it all on my
Speaker 1: friend's name computer and that's why he slept with his
Speaker 1: female friend because he'd wanted me to hurt like he did.
Speaker 1: I kept yelling at him that I had never cheated
Speaker 1: on him and had genuinely no idea what the hell
Speaker 1: he was talking about. I was so confused, upset, hurt,
Speaker 1: and angry that I started cramping in the middle of
Speaker 1: our shouting fest. My fiance thought I was faking it
Speaker 1: until a large amount of blood started coming from private area.
Speaker 1: He called the ambulance and my friend came inside to
Speaker 1: check if I was okay, because I'd been there for
Speaker 1: a while at this point. At this point, I'd hadn't
Speaker 1: even gotten the chance to tell him I was pregnant,
Speaker 1: and my friend had to do so as I yelled
Speaker 1: out an agonizing physical pain. The ambulance came in eleven minutes,
Speaker 1: but by the time I reached the hospital it was
Speaker 1: too late. My baby was gone from their word got
Speaker 1: out and my friend, the one with the video, heard
Speaker 1: about everything, and she came and showed him proof that
Speaker 1: the video he was talking about was from before we
Speaker 1: were together and taken in mid twenty nineteen. She showed
Speaker 1: me too, because up until that point I had completely
Speaker 1: forgotten about that night and had no idea what he
Speaker 1: was talking about. I then explained to him that it
Speaker 1: was just hair wax. I'm devastated about the baby, despite everything,
Speaker 1: I truly wanted to keep it, and I feel so
Speaker 1: hollow now, so wrecked. I don't know what to do
Speaker 1: about my relationship. He has genuinely apologized to me, and
Speaker 1: I know he only did what he did because he
Speaker 1: thought I had cheated on him. But I don't know
Speaker 1: if I'll ever be able to get over this, if
Speaker 1: I'll always resent him for the miscarriage. But I still
Speaker 1: love him so much, and I still can't even imagine
Speaker 1: life without him. Before his mother learned the truth, she
Speaker 1: made a scathing face post about me and my cheating,
Speaker 1: and since then, his entire family has all formally apologized
Speaker 1: to me, but I'm still getting calls from extended family
Speaker 1: members and friends who still haven't heard the truth, calling
Speaker 1: me hurtful things and telling me I deserve my miscarriage.
Speaker 1: And that's what I got for trying to baby trap him.
Speaker 1: It's another kick to my already broken soul, and as
Speaker 1: of right now, my social reputation is in tatters because
Speaker 1: of the post. My fiance or rather ex fiancee, wants
Speaker 1: to make one big post just addressing everything, but I
Speaker 1: honestly don't even have the energy, and I can't imagine
Speaker 1: of all this drama for all of our loved ones
Speaker 1: to see that cut me so deeply, just plastered on Facebook.
Speaker 1: His mom has tried to call, but I've been declining
Speaker 1: all of them because also in her post, she added
Speaker 1: some really nasty things she didn't like about me before
Speaker 1: she found out about the cheating, that I didn't know
Speaker 1: she felt about, and I just feel really hurt about
Speaker 1: every mean thing she wrote about my personality, looks, character,
Speaker 1: depression and anxiety episodes and past. I'm currently staying with
Speaker 1: parents in an airbnb because I felt like I had
Speaker 1: to confront everything's front on and stay here, but they
Speaker 1: wanted to be here to support me. Guys, I thought
Speaker 1: I was broken before, but I'm going to be completely
Speaker 1: candid and say that I've considering not living since the miscarriage.
Speaker 1: A part of me also feels like my relationship, which
Speaker 1: I loved more than myself, is over, which just makes
Speaker 1: me feel so sick. So many things are being said
Speaker 1: about me, and all I want to do is disappear,
Speaker 1: but I know that I can't for the sake of
Speaker 1: the people I love, and I won't anyhow. That's the update.
Speaker 1: I don't know where my life goes from here, but
Speaker 1: it felt only fair to update you guys. One last
Speaker 1: time my fiance cheated on me and I was pregnant.
Speaker 1: Final update, Hey, guys, I know it's been a bit
Speaker 1: and many of you were very worried about me. To
Speaker 1: be honest, I just couldn't handle reading all the responses
Speaker 1: and just needed a mental break. Also, I wasn't expecting
Speaker 1: as many comments as I received, so I just ended
Speaker 1: up silencing my notifications. I'm finally ready to respond now,
Speaker 1: so here's the update. No, my fiancee and I are
Speaker 1: not getting back together, but I did forgive him. We
Speaker 1: had an incredibly long talk about everything, and I know
Speaker 1: he's genuinely remorseful about what took place. But I knew
Speaker 1: nothing would ever be the same in our relationship, so
Speaker 1: I just had to leave it behind. We made the
Speaker 1: Facebook post and many people called to apologize, but I
Speaker 1: didn't forgive any of the ones who made light of
Speaker 1: my miscarriage, and I'm very distant with all the others
Speaker 1: who just cut me off before even hearing my side.
Speaker 1: I sold the ring in with that, I bought myself
Speaker 1: a plane ticket for next month. My parents and I
Speaker 1: are American, but we used to visit this one country
Speaker 1: almost every summer when I was growing up, and they
Speaker 1: moved there after I finished high school. I'm going to
Speaker 1: move there too. I really liked the country, but I
Speaker 1: never planned on moving there because I had a life
Speaker 1: here for me college and then getting into a relationship
Speaker 1: with my ex. I was just really happy seeing as
Speaker 1: how that's over now, there's nothing holding me back, and
Speaker 1: I have lots of friends there from over the summers.
Speaker 1: Three girls have even offered to be roommates and have
Speaker 1: called me at least four times every week just to
Speaker 1: support me. But for the moment, I think I'm just
Speaker 1: going to live there with my parents. Thank you everyone
Speaker 1: for the support and how much you've worried about me.
Speaker 1: I'm nowhere near healed, but i know I'm on the
Speaker 1: right path. By guys,