WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:03.439 Episode with two stories. First part, I hope you enjoy 2 00:00:03.520 --> 00:00:08.080 this story. Mill attempted to coerce me into consuming a 3 00:00:08.119 --> 00:00:10.119 dessert that I have a severe allergy to at her 4 00:00:10.199 --> 00:00:13.240 Silver Jubilee celebration, and now she is repenting due to 5 00:00:13.279 --> 00:00:18.079 Phil's actions. I a twenty seven year old female experience 6 00:00:18.160 --> 00:00:21.079 married to my husband Frank thirty m about a year 7 00:00:21.120 --> 00:00:24.600 ago after being together for two years. I've met his 8 00:00:24.679 --> 00:00:26.800 family plenty of times and we all used to get 9 00:00:26.800 --> 00:00:29.320 along until recently when he and I were visiting his 10 00:00:29.399 --> 00:00:31.960 parents and the conversation somehow turned to kids and I 11 00:00:32.039 --> 00:00:34.399 casually mentioned that I wasn't interested in being a mother. 12 00:00:35.439 --> 00:00:38.079 My husband and I have obviously talked about this before, 13 00:00:38.119 --> 00:00:40.000 and both of us are on the same page about 14 00:00:40.079 --> 00:00:43.560 kids that we don't want kids. My mother in law, 15 00:00:43.600 --> 00:00:46.719 Sharon fifty two f was the one who initiated the 16 00:00:46.719 --> 00:00:49.159 conversation at dinner that day, and when my husband and 17 00:00:49.200 --> 00:00:51.719 I made it known that we weren't planning on having kids, ever, 18 00:00:51.960 --> 00:00:56.119 she tried to change our minds, especially mine. She continued 19 00:00:56.119 --> 00:00:57.920 to try and convinced me to have kids at some 20 00:00:58.039 --> 00:01:00.000 point for the next couple of days, until I told 21 00:01:00.159 --> 00:01:02.600 her that I wasn't interested and that neither was my husband. 22 00:01:03.600 --> 00:01:05.480 So that was it, and I didn't want to discuss 23 00:01:05.480 --> 00:01:08.760 this further. I made my boundaries clear, and I guess 24 00:01:08.760 --> 00:01:11.000 she couldn't handle it, because after that she started being 25 00:01:11.040 --> 00:01:13.079 really cold to me and would act weird every time 26 00:01:13.120 --> 00:01:17.159 I came around. My father in law Ben fifty three 27 00:01:17.319 --> 00:01:19.959 m didn't seem to care much, which was a relief. 28 00:01:20.959 --> 00:01:23.640 I did discuss Sharon's behavior with Frank, but he told 29 00:01:23.680 --> 00:01:25.640 me that she was just upset and would come around 30 00:01:25.680 --> 00:01:28.920 eventually because it's not like she had a choice. It 31 00:01:28.959 --> 00:01:31.159 wasn't her place to dictate whether we should have kids 32 00:01:31.239 --> 00:01:33.519 or not, so she could act upset, but it wasn't 33 00:01:33.560 --> 00:01:36.959 going to change our decision. I felt better after talking 34 00:01:37.000 --> 00:01:38.799 about it to Frank, and since we still had to 35 00:01:38.799 --> 00:01:41.920 continue visiting his parents because Ben wasn't keeping well, I 36 00:01:42.000 --> 00:01:43.840 decided not to make a big deal out of it 37 00:01:43.879 --> 00:01:46.000 and tried my best to be polite and cordial, even 38 00:01:46.000 --> 00:01:48.480 though she didn't extend the same courtesy to me. Now, 39 00:01:48.560 --> 00:01:51.959 a few days ago, we attended the twenty fifth wedding anniversary, 40 00:01:52.000 --> 00:01:54.400 and it had been organized by Frank's older brother, who's 41 00:01:54.400 --> 00:01:57.239 a surgeon, so he was able to throw a very 42 00:01:57.319 --> 00:02:00.680 lavish and fancy party and invited almost everybody that we knew, 43 00:02:00.959 --> 00:02:04.480 including my parents. We were all having a great time 44 00:02:04.519 --> 00:02:06.799 at the party. Even though Sharon was giving me the 45 00:02:06.840 --> 00:02:10.560 cold shoulder. I wasn't particularly bothered by it and went 46 00:02:10.599 --> 00:02:13.879 on having fun with my husband and my parents. Then 47 00:02:13.919 --> 00:02:16.120 it was finally time to cut the cake, which I 48 00:02:16.199 --> 00:02:17.960 knew I wouldn't be able to have because it was 49 00:02:17.960 --> 00:02:20.120 a chocolate peanut butter cake and I had a deathly 50 00:02:20.159 --> 00:02:23.000 allergy to peanuts or nuts of any kind for that matter. 51 00:02:23.960 --> 00:02:26.479 And it was a pretty nutty cake, which goes perfectly 52 00:02:26.520 --> 00:02:30.080 with Sharon's personality now that I think of it. She 53 00:02:30.159 --> 00:02:32.439 cut the cake along with Ben, and we all clapped. 54 00:02:32.680 --> 00:02:36.120 It was a beautiful moment. Then everybody was served with 55 00:02:36.159 --> 00:02:38.759 a slice of the cake, but I obviously didn't take any, 56 00:02:38.759 --> 00:02:41.520 and nobody questioned it. Since everyone was well aware of 57 00:02:41.520 --> 00:02:45.080 my allergies, I didn't even mind not having cake. But 58 00:02:45.159 --> 00:02:47.719 for some reason, as soon as Sharon saw me sitting 59 00:02:47.719 --> 00:02:50.240 on my own without cake, she made a huge deal 60 00:02:50.280 --> 00:02:52.120 of walking over to me and asking me if I 61 00:02:52.199 --> 00:02:54.879 wasn't feeling up to it. She told me to have 62 00:02:54.919 --> 00:02:57.520 a bite of her slice, which I politely declined, and 63 00:02:57.560 --> 00:02:59.639 I found it very weird that she was even offering 64 00:02:59.639 --> 00:03:02.520 me because because she knew that I was allergic. She 65 00:03:02.639 --> 00:03:04.960 insisted again and again that I take one bite at 66 00:03:04.960 --> 00:03:07.520 the very least, while I kept refusing and even told 67 00:03:07.560 --> 00:03:09.599 her that I was allergic and I physically couldn't have 68 00:03:09.680 --> 00:03:12.560 that cake. She tried to tell me that it wouldn't 69 00:03:12.599 --> 00:03:14.840 hurt if I had just one tiny little bite, but 70 00:03:14.879 --> 00:03:18.159 I wasn't willing to risk it. After almost one minute 71 00:03:18.199 --> 00:03:21.319 of back and forth, she exclaimed, oh, just take a bite, 72 00:03:21.360 --> 00:03:24.000 and before I could react, she smashed the cake into 73 00:03:24.039 --> 00:03:27.280 my mouth. I spit it all out immediately, and I 74 00:03:27.319 --> 00:03:29.319 had to grab a tissue from Frank so I could 75 00:03:29.319 --> 00:03:33.199 get any remnants out of my mouth immediately. It was disgusting, 76 00:03:33.199 --> 00:03:36.000 and I was actually sputtering while rinsing my mouth while 77 00:03:36.039 --> 00:03:38.599 Frank yelled at his mother. After half a minute, when 78 00:03:38.639 --> 00:03:40.680 I finally got over the shock of what she did, 79 00:03:41.000 --> 00:03:43.360 I came back to talk to Charon and told her off. 80 00:03:44.360 --> 00:03:46.080 I yelled at her and said that what she did 81 00:03:46.199 --> 00:03:48.159 just now was psychotic and I was never going to 82 00:03:48.199 --> 00:03:50.520 come back here again because there was something very wrong 83 00:03:50.560 --> 00:03:53.400 with her. I also told her that just because I 84 00:03:53.439 --> 00:03:55.680 wasn't willing to have kids didn't mean that she was 85 00:03:55.719 --> 00:03:57.599 going to treat me however she wanted to, and I 86 00:03:57.680 --> 00:04:00.360 was going to take it. I didn't care about what 87 00:04:00.360 --> 00:04:02.280 her opinion was on whether I should have a child 88 00:04:02.439 --> 00:04:05.960 or not. What mattered was my opinion in Frank's opinion, 89 00:04:06.159 --> 00:04:08.599 and trying to force an allergy reaction just because I 90 00:04:08.680 --> 00:04:11.560 wasn't going to give her grandchildren was textbook psychotic behavior. 91 00:04:12.520 --> 00:04:14.560 I knew what her behavior was really about, and I 92 00:04:14.599 --> 00:04:16.920 wanted to let her know that I wasn't intimidated by 93 00:04:16.920 --> 00:04:20.120 her in the least. She tried to defend herself and 94 00:04:20.160 --> 00:04:22.279 said that she just didn't know that my allergies were 95 00:04:22.279 --> 00:04:26.000 that serious. That was a total, un blatant lie, because 96 00:04:26.040 --> 00:04:28.279 she'd known me for almost three years now and had 97 00:04:28.279 --> 00:04:31.279 cooked many meals for me. She knew that I was 98 00:04:31.319 --> 00:04:33.879 allergic to all sorts of nuts, and nobody was buying 99 00:04:33.879 --> 00:04:37.319 that excuse that she didn't know. I told her that 100 00:04:37.360 --> 00:04:39.439 I didn't believe a word she was saying and called 101 00:04:39.439 --> 00:04:42.759 her a crazy liar. Then she lost her temper and 102 00:04:42.800 --> 00:04:45.240 said that she didn't believe me either, neither about the 103 00:04:45.279 --> 00:04:47.759 allergies nor about the fact that her son wasn't willing 104 00:04:47.759 --> 00:04:50.839 to have kids because he knew that she wanted to 105 00:04:50.879 --> 00:04:52.920 be a grandma and he would never deprive her of 106 00:04:52.959 --> 00:04:56.040 a joy like that. She accused me of faking my 107 00:04:56.120 --> 00:04:58.800 allergies for attention and said that I probably wasn't willing 108 00:04:58.839 --> 00:05:01.040 to have kids, and he turned her son against the 109 00:05:01.079 --> 00:05:04.600 idea as well, only because I might be infertile. And 110 00:05:04.680 --> 00:05:06.879 that pushed me to the edge. So I grabbed a 111 00:05:06.920 --> 00:05:09.160 chunk of cake from Frank's plate and smashed it on 112 00:05:09.240 --> 00:05:12.680 her face and asked how she liked it. After that, 113 00:05:12.959 --> 00:05:16.120 I stormed out without waiting for anyone, got into my car, 114 00:05:16.399 --> 00:05:19.879 and thankfully Frank was just behind me with my parents. 115 00:05:20.240 --> 00:05:22.879 They got in as well, and we drove back home quietly. 116 00:05:23.160 --> 00:05:25.360 I dropped my parents at their place, and then Frank 117 00:05:25.399 --> 00:05:29.079 and I headed home. It was a completely silent car ride, 118 00:05:29.079 --> 00:05:31.639 and even after we got home, we didn't say anything 119 00:05:31.639 --> 00:05:34.560 to each other for an hour or so. I guess 120 00:05:34.560 --> 00:05:36.680 Frank was waiting for me to calm down before he 121 00:05:36.759 --> 00:05:39.879 came in and spoke to me. In the evening, he 122 00:05:39.959 --> 00:05:42.399 made me some coffee and we finally sat together in 123 00:05:42.439 --> 00:05:44.319 the living room and he brought up what had happened 124 00:05:44.319 --> 00:05:47.879 at the party. I started off by apologizing to him, 125 00:05:47.959 --> 00:05:50.319 even though it wasn't my fault, but I still felt 126 00:05:50.319 --> 00:05:53.560 embarrassed for acting the way I did, and he told 127 00:05:53.600 --> 00:05:55.480 me that it was fine because he knew that I 128 00:05:55.560 --> 00:05:58.360 wasn't the one to blame. He then went on to 129 00:05:58.399 --> 00:06:00.279 tell me that the people who'd stayed back at the 130 00:06:00.319 --> 00:06:02.079 party were the ones who filled him in on what 131 00:06:02.199 --> 00:06:06.800 happened after we left. Apparently, Sharon started crying after Frank 132 00:06:06.879 --> 00:06:09.319 walked out and chose to follow me instead of staying 133 00:06:09.360 --> 00:06:12.279 back to see her. She was playing the victim, and 134 00:06:12.319 --> 00:06:14.560 her family was lapping it all up, calling me the 135 00:06:14.600 --> 00:06:17.000 most derogatory names in the book and accusing me of 136 00:06:17.040 --> 00:06:19.920 trying to take Frank away from her. The only one 137 00:06:19.920 --> 00:06:22.720 who called her out on her bs was Ben, surprisingly 138 00:06:23.759 --> 00:06:26.480 since he usually tended to stay away from family drama, 139 00:06:26.839 --> 00:06:30.279 especially when it involved his wife, but this time he 140 00:06:30.279 --> 00:06:32.439 stood up for us and told Sharon that she had 141 00:06:32.480 --> 00:06:35.040 nobody else to blame but herself for Frank walking out 142 00:06:35.040 --> 00:06:38.160 on her, because she'd always been a control freak and 143 00:06:38.199 --> 00:06:40.720 couldn't stand it whenever somebody tried to do anything that 144 00:06:40.759 --> 00:06:44.000 didn't align with her plans, they got into a bad 145 00:06:44.079 --> 00:06:47.319 fight and everybody just waited around awkwardly while they argued 146 00:06:47.360 --> 00:06:50.680 with each other. Sharon accused him of choosing me over 147 00:06:50.720 --> 00:06:52.959 her and said that he was being unreasonable, but Ben 148 00:06:53.040 --> 00:06:56.160 stuck to his guns and didn't back down. They just 149 00:06:56.199 --> 00:06:59.240 went on arguing until Frank's older brother finally broke them up, 150 00:06:59.399 --> 00:07:01.720 and everybody went home after that because the day was 151 00:07:01.720 --> 00:07:05.439 pretty much ruined. One of Frank's cousins recorded the fight, 152 00:07:05.519 --> 00:07:07.759 and it was nice to see Ben sticking up for us. 153 00:07:08.079 --> 00:07:10.199 She and a couple of other relatives are the only 154 00:07:10.240 --> 00:07:13.600 ones on our side right now. Frank's brother thinks that 155 00:07:13.600 --> 00:07:17.480 I should apologize because he believes that I overreacted and 156 00:07:17.519 --> 00:07:19.920 that I shouldn't have brought up my personal grudges against 157 00:07:19.920 --> 00:07:22.079 Sharon on the day of their anniversary and made it 158 00:07:22.120 --> 00:07:25.839 all about myself and not just him. But Sharon's family 159 00:07:25.879 --> 00:07:28.120 also feels the same way and is saying that I 160 00:07:28.160 --> 00:07:30.560 owe them an apology because the fight wasn't even about 161 00:07:30.600 --> 00:07:32.839 us having kids or anything else in the first place. 162 00:07:33.120 --> 00:07:36.000 I made it about that. They think that I shouldn't 163 00:07:36.000 --> 00:07:37.319 have brought it up, and if I had been that 164 00:07:37.399 --> 00:07:39.720 offended by Sharon, trying to force me to eat cake, 165 00:07:40.079 --> 00:07:42.480 then I should have just walked out after that instead 166 00:07:42.519 --> 00:07:46.040 of retaliating and creating a whole scene. They believed that 167 00:07:46.079 --> 00:07:48.560 I was the reason that Ben and Sharon ended up fighting, 168 00:07:48.560 --> 00:07:50.759 and had I just done the right thing and walked off, 169 00:07:51.040 --> 00:07:53.319 then nobody would have had to deal with that fight. Later, 170 00:07:54.319 --> 00:07:56.439 Frank told his brother off and said that I wasn't 171 00:07:56.439 --> 00:07:58.839 going to apologize because none of this was my fault, 172 00:07:59.759 --> 00:08:01.680 but all of them are pretty convinced that I'm the 173 00:08:01.720 --> 00:08:04.720 culprit and I ruined Sharon's anniversary party on purpose and 174 00:08:04.800 --> 00:08:08.360 caused Ben and Sharon to fight on their anniversary. From 175 00:08:08.399 --> 00:08:10.399 what they told me, the two of them aren't even 176 00:08:10.439 --> 00:08:13.079 talking right now, since Sharon packed a few of her 177 00:08:13.120 --> 00:08:14.920 things and went to live with a friend of hers 178 00:08:14.959 --> 00:08:18.319 after their big fight. Ben hasn't even tried to call 179 00:08:18.360 --> 00:08:21.439 her back. So i'd have for fighting with my mother 180 00:08:21.480 --> 00:08:23.439 in law on the day of her anniversary for trying 181 00:08:23.439 --> 00:08:27.279 to force feed me cake. Update one, Hey, thank you 182 00:08:27.360 --> 00:08:30.920 for all the comments. Frank and I are really grateful 183 00:08:30.959 --> 00:08:33.320 for all the support and the overwhelming number of people 184 00:08:33.320 --> 00:08:35.240 who commented to tell us that we are indeed not 185 00:08:35.399 --> 00:08:38.360 the ones at fault here. I did feel a tiny 186 00:08:38.399 --> 00:08:40.879 bit responsible when I learned that Ben and Sharon weren't 187 00:08:40.919 --> 00:08:44.399 even on talking terms after they fought, But after reading 188 00:08:44.399 --> 00:08:48.080 the comments, I realized that this wasn't my fault. It 189 00:08:48.200 --> 00:08:51.840 was Sharon's fault. She ruined her own party by making 190 00:08:51.919 --> 00:08:54.720 it all about me. To be precise, she didn't even 191 00:08:54.759 --> 00:08:57.759 make it about me. She made it about her issues 192 00:08:57.759 --> 00:08:59.960 with me, which is even worse because that day was 193 00:09:00.159 --> 00:09:02.759 supposed to be a celebration of her marriage to her husband. 194 00:09:03.720 --> 00:09:05.879 She chose to try and force feed me a cake 195 00:09:05.919 --> 00:09:08.279 that she knew very well I was allergic to, just 196 00:09:08.320 --> 00:09:11.039 for the heck of it, and then when the situation 197 00:09:11.200 --> 00:09:13.960 got worse, she started crying and playing the victim as 198 00:09:13.960 --> 00:09:16.399 if she wasn't the one trying to trigger an allergic reaction, 199 00:09:16.799 --> 00:09:18.720 only because I'd told her that I wasn't going to 200 00:09:18.720 --> 00:09:21.799 give her grandkids. And it isn't even as if I 201 00:09:21.960 --> 00:09:26.960 owe her grandkids, nobody does. She ruined her own party period. 202 00:09:28.080 --> 00:09:31.200 I don't owe her anything, not an apology, and definitely 203 00:09:31.240 --> 00:09:34.759 not grandchildren. It's been a few days in Frank's brother 204 00:09:34.840 --> 00:09:36.639 and a couple of other relatives of his have been 205 00:09:36.679 --> 00:09:39.639 texting him almost every day to give him unnecessary updates 206 00:09:39.639 --> 00:09:42.879 on how Sharon is doing, which is almost always a 207 00:09:42.919 --> 00:09:45.240 reminder that she's miserable and a way to tell us 208 00:09:45.240 --> 00:09:48.559 that with a reason behind her misery. He hasn't replied 209 00:09:48.600 --> 00:09:50.480 to any of them and is just ignoring it all. 210 00:09:50.519 --> 00:09:52.559 But he hasn't blocked them either, because he thinks that 211 00:09:52.639 --> 00:09:55.279 Sharon might snap and go crazy, and he'd want updates 212 00:09:55.279 --> 00:09:58.360 for when that happens in case it's a little too 213 00:09:58.399 --> 00:10:00.279 intense for them to handle, if y'all know know what 214 00:10:00.320 --> 00:10:05.200 I mean. Meanwhile, Ben's been doing just fine. We went 215 00:10:05.240 --> 00:10:07.080 over to his place the other day to see how 216 00:10:07.080 --> 00:10:09.559 he's been, and he appears to be completely unbothered by 217 00:10:09.559 --> 00:10:13.120 sharon leaving. He told us that for a long time 218 00:10:13.440 --> 00:10:15.360 he hadn't said anything to her, even though he could 219 00:10:15.399 --> 00:10:17.639 tell that she was becoming a little too overbearing and 220 00:10:17.679 --> 00:10:20.320 controlling and could predict that at some point either Frank 221 00:10:20.480 --> 00:10:23.120 or I were going to snap at her. He tried 222 00:10:23.120 --> 00:10:25.399 to warn her several times in person, but she'd just 223 00:10:25.480 --> 00:10:27.799 never listen, and when she started crying at the party 224 00:10:27.840 --> 00:10:30.120 after we left, he couldn't take it because he could 225 00:10:30.200 --> 00:10:32.320 just see through her so clearly and knew that she 226 00:10:32.399 --> 00:10:35.759 was trying to gain sympathy after screwing up, so he 227 00:10:35.799 --> 00:10:38.120 called her out on her bs, and as usual, she 228 00:10:38.159 --> 00:10:41.120 couldn't handle the truth, so she left. He told us 229 00:10:41.120 --> 00:10:42.960 that he knows she expects him to reach out to 230 00:10:43.000 --> 00:10:45.320 her first and apologize for the way he behaved, but 231 00:10:45.360 --> 00:10:47.279 he's not going to do that any more because he 232 00:10:47.279 --> 00:10:49.799 says he's too old to constantly be sorry for speaking 233 00:10:49.799 --> 00:10:53.360 his mind, and if after twenty five years of marriage, 234 00:10:53.440 --> 00:10:56.080 she still can't handle this sort of candor, then they 235 00:10:56.080 --> 00:11:01.200 probably shouldn't be married. Update too, So a couple of 236 00:11:01.200 --> 00:11:05.679 things happened after that last update. Firstly, Charon reached out 237 00:11:05.679 --> 00:11:08.000 to Frank to demand an explanation for why he was 238 00:11:08.080 --> 00:11:11.360 visiting Ben but not her. I guess the neighbors must 239 00:11:11.360 --> 00:11:13.480 have seen us come and snitched on us or something. 240 00:11:14.440 --> 00:11:17.200 Frank told her that since this fight was actually her fault, 241 00:11:17.399 --> 00:11:19.440 he figured that his father would need him more than 242 00:11:19.440 --> 00:11:22.879 she would because she's just upset for sympathy and we 243 00:11:22.919 --> 00:11:26.320 can see through that act now. She got offended by 244 00:11:26.320 --> 00:11:28.159 that and they had an argument on the phone, and 245 00:11:28.200 --> 00:11:30.879 for some reason she started accusing me of turning him 246 00:11:30.879 --> 00:11:33.960 against her, as if she doesn't do that job well 247 00:11:34.080 --> 00:11:37.320 enough herself. She told Frank that this was all my 248 00:11:37.399 --> 00:11:40.440 doing and she knew it, and even when Frank tried 249 00:11:40.480 --> 00:11:42.120 to tell her that I had nothing to do with 250 00:11:42.200 --> 00:11:45.279 this and these were his own personal opinions, she wouldn't 251 00:11:45.320 --> 00:11:47.320 hear it and insisted that this was all my fault, 252 00:11:48.279 --> 00:11:50.360 that lady has it in for me, just because I 253 00:11:50.360 --> 00:11:53.639 don't want to have kids, and it's the most ridiculous 254 00:11:53.679 --> 00:11:56.799 reason I can think of to hate somebody. I told 255 00:11:56.840 --> 00:11:58.519 Frank that I didn't want to talk to her any 256 00:11:58.559 --> 00:12:01.320 more and if she called again, then he shouldn't entertain it, 257 00:12:01.360 --> 00:12:04.720 and he agreed, because there's just no point in trying 258 00:12:04.720 --> 00:12:08.279 to reason with her. She's beyond that. The second thing 259 00:12:08.320 --> 00:12:10.360 that happened was that we visited Ben at his house 260 00:12:10.440 --> 00:12:13.440 yesterday in the evening, and for the first time, he 261 00:12:13.559 --> 00:12:17.600 offered us drinks. Ben usually doesn't drink because of his health, 262 00:12:18.519 --> 00:12:21.039 and we weren't sure if it was the right idea yesterday, 263 00:12:21.039 --> 00:12:24.679 but he insisted on it. Apparently he'd spoken to a 264 00:12:24.759 --> 00:12:27.240 lawyer and was thinking of getting a divorce. It's a 265 00:12:27.360 --> 00:12:30.360 very big move after twenty five years of marriage, and 266 00:12:30.399 --> 00:12:32.000 we asked him if he was sure about it, but 267 00:12:32.039 --> 00:12:34.240 he didn't seem to care and didn't even seem upset. 268 00:12:35.240 --> 00:12:37.320 Frank was a little shaken up by that news and 269 00:12:37.399 --> 00:12:39.679 took some time to process it, but Ben told him 270 00:12:39.679 --> 00:12:41.519 that this was the best decision that he could make 271 00:12:41.600 --> 00:12:45.240 under these circumstances. He said that he'd been thinking about 272 00:12:45.240 --> 00:12:47.559 this for a while now because he just wasn't happy 273 00:12:47.559 --> 00:12:51.480 and Sharon was becoming increasingly annoying to be around. When 274 00:12:51.519 --> 00:12:53.879 we asked him how long he'd been considering a divorce, 275 00:12:54.240 --> 00:12:56.360 we expected him to say maybe a month or two, 276 00:12:56.440 --> 00:12:58.360 but he shocked us and said that he'd been thinking 277 00:12:58.399 --> 00:13:01.519 about it for almost ten years now. He told us 278 00:13:01.600 --> 00:13:04.320 that when Frank was twenty and was about to graduate college, 279 00:13:04.559 --> 00:13:06.639 Ben thought that now that Frank was an adult and 280 00:13:06.679 --> 00:13:09.399 could handle his life and his finances, he could join 281 00:13:09.399 --> 00:13:12.519 his brother in a new business venture. Both of them 282 00:13:12.559 --> 00:13:14.559 had been talking about it for quite some time, but 283 00:13:14.639 --> 00:13:16.639 Ben hadn't been able to commit because he had a 284 00:13:16.679 --> 00:13:20.159 family to look after unlike his brother, and had a 285 00:13:20.200 --> 00:13:23.000 lot more financial responsibilities resting on him that he had 286 00:13:23.000 --> 00:13:25.360 to think about. So he couldn't just quit his job 287 00:13:25.399 --> 00:13:27.440 and start a new business, which could take some time 288 00:13:27.480 --> 00:13:31.360 to become stable. But after Frank graduated, he told his 289 00:13:31.440 --> 00:13:33.039 brother that he was ready and he was about to 290 00:13:33.120 --> 00:13:35.679 quit his job, but while discussing it with Sharon, she 291 00:13:35.759 --> 00:13:37.759 told him it was a terrible idea and made him 292 00:13:37.799 --> 00:13:40.799 back down. She said that they wouldn't know for sure 293 00:13:40.840 --> 00:13:43.919 if the business was going to take off, and Frank 294 00:13:43.960 --> 00:13:46.399 didn't even have a job yet, so he'd probably need 295 00:13:46.480 --> 00:13:48.559 money for a couple of years before he was finally 296 00:13:48.600 --> 00:13:51.759 able to settle down. He tried to reason with her 297 00:13:51.799 --> 00:13:53.639 and even said that he could probably work in the 298 00:13:53.679 --> 00:13:56.919 business part time and retain his job, but she made 299 00:13:56.960 --> 00:13:59.519 him give up the idea altogether, and now his brother, 300 00:13:59.519 --> 00:14:01.519 who runs he's the business on his own, is earning 301 00:14:01.559 --> 00:14:04.159 almost thrice the amount that he makes. They've kept in 302 00:14:04.200 --> 00:14:06.080 touch and there's not a day that goes by where 303 00:14:06.120 --> 00:14:09.279 Ben doesn't regret listening to what Sharon had told him. 304 00:14:09.600 --> 00:14:11.440 She hadn't even tried to talk to him, but had 305 00:14:11.440 --> 00:14:13.679 given him an ultimatum that if he took his brother 306 00:14:13.759 --> 00:14:16.000 up on that offer, then she'd take Frank and leave him, 307 00:14:16.200 --> 00:14:19.039 which forced him to give up on that idea. His 308 00:14:19.159 --> 00:14:21.399 brother still wants him to come on board, but Ben 309 00:14:21.480 --> 00:14:24.559 feels like he's just too old and he's going to 310 00:14:24.600 --> 00:14:27.120 retire in a couple of years anyway, so it's just 311 00:14:27.200 --> 00:14:30.120 not going to be worth it. Frank was almost on 312 00:14:30.200 --> 00:14:32.519 the verge of tears because of how dejected his father 313 00:14:32.639 --> 00:14:35.679 sounded while talking about the opportunities that he'd lost just 314 00:14:35.720 --> 00:14:37.919 because he listened to Sharon who wasn't willing to bet 315 00:14:37.919 --> 00:14:41.279 on a brilliant mind like him. And it's true, Ben 316 00:14:41.399 --> 00:14:44.039 actually is one of the wisest and most intellectual people 317 00:14:44.080 --> 00:14:47.120 I know personally. I knew that if he was willing 318 00:14:47.120 --> 00:14:50.720 to invest in something, then it definitely wasn't a bad idea, 319 00:14:51.279 --> 00:14:53.360 and it's being proved by his brother, who worked on 320 00:14:53.399 --> 00:14:55.799 the business idea that Ben created and is now a 321 00:14:55.840 --> 00:15:00.000 successful businessman. Frank suggested that he take up whatever position 322 00:15:00.039 --> 00:15:02.039 and his brother was going to offer him, even if 323 00:15:02.039 --> 00:15:04.360 it was just a couple of years away from his retirement, 324 00:15:05.279 --> 00:15:07.440 because at the end of the day, at least he'd 325 00:15:07.440 --> 00:15:11.159 have the satisfaction of knowing that he tried. Ben argued 326 00:15:11.159 --> 00:15:12.679 that it was too late for him and said that 327 00:15:12.720 --> 00:15:14.960 the position was not a problem because his brother was 328 00:15:15.000 --> 00:15:16.600 ready to make him a partner in the firm, but 329 00:15:16.639 --> 00:15:19.399 he was just not into it any more. We were 330 00:15:19.399 --> 00:15:22.080 really upset to hear him talk like that, so Frank 331 00:15:22.120 --> 00:15:23.799 and I decided that we were going to talk some 332 00:15:23.919 --> 00:15:25.879 sense into him, and we kept convincing him that he 333 00:15:25.919 --> 00:15:28.879 should talk to his brother and join him, because it 334 00:15:28.960 --> 00:15:30.840 was never going to be too late to do something 335 00:15:30.879 --> 00:15:34.200 for yourself. It was corny and preachy, but after a 336 00:15:34.200 --> 00:15:36.919 while we managed to convince him to at least contact 337 00:15:36.919 --> 00:15:38.960 his brother about this and talk to him about it, 338 00:15:39.039 --> 00:15:42.759 which is good. As for the divorce, we're obviously going 339 00:15:42.799 --> 00:15:45.159 to be supporting him in it. Sharon can't just try 340 00:15:45.159 --> 00:15:47.720 and control everybody's lives around her and think that it's 341 00:15:47.759 --> 00:15:50.720 completely fine and she can get away with it. The 342 00:15:50.759 --> 00:15:53.080 way she treated Ben wasn't fair, and what she did 343 00:15:53.080 --> 00:15:55.440 to me and Frank recently is also not fair, and 344 00:15:55.519 --> 00:15:57.480 she needs to know and learn that she can't just 345 00:15:57.519 --> 00:15:59.639 push people around and bully them into doing what she 346 00:15:59.639 --> 00:16:03.320 wants to do. It finally makes sense why Ben was 347 00:16:03.360 --> 00:16:05.519 so upset when she was trying to humiliate us at 348 00:16:05.519 --> 00:16:08.919 the party, all because we weren't willing to obey her orders. 349 00:16:09.399 --> 00:16:11.840 And even after all of this, she still has the 350 00:16:11.879 --> 00:16:15.000 audacity to pretend like she's somehow the victim in the situation. 351 00:16:16.039 --> 00:16:18.159 I don't even feel bad for her any more, because 352 00:16:18.159 --> 00:16:20.840 she's shown us that she doesn't deserve any sympathy from anyone, 353 00:16:21.759 --> 00:16:24.000 and all the people who are feeding into her delusions 354 00:16:24.000 --> 00:16:26.559 of her being the long suffering, tragic victim are probably 355 00:16:26.679 --> 00:16:29.399 just fools or they only want drama, and that's about it. 356 00:16:30.360 --> 00:16:33.519 Update three, Ben and his lawyer filed the petition today 357 00:16:33.559 --> 00:16:36.480 and Frank was with them. He told me that Ben 358 00:16:36.600 --> 00:16:39.679 was really relieved, and they went out for celebratory drinks afterward. 359 00:16:40.600 --> 00:16:42.200 I have a lot of work to catch up on, 360 00:16:42.519 --> 00:16:44.440 so I couldn't join them, but I'm happy to know 361 00:16:44.480 --> 00:16:47.799 that he's finally living for himself now. The guy is 362 00:16:47.840 --> 00:16:50.480 in his fifties. He deserves to do whatever makes him 363 00:16:50.480 --> 00:16:53.519 happy instead of constantly thinking about what his wife would 364 00:16:53.519 --> 00:16:56.639 say or how his son would feel. This is another 365 00:16:56.679 --> 00:16:58.639 reason why I didn't want to have kids, because I 366 00:16:58.639 --> 00:17:01.080 don't think I'm selfless enough to put somebody else before 367 00:17:01.120 --> 00:17:04.160 me constantly, and I don't think Frank is either. And 368 00:17:04.279 --> 00:17:07.200 then there are people like Sharon who are selfish and 369 00:17:07.279 --> 00:17:10.480 yet still choose to have kids just so they can 370 00:17:10.519 --> 00:17:13.200 control them and continue to put themselves over their kids. 371 00:17:14.160 --> 00:17:16.000 It's been a couple of days and we haven't heard 372 00:17:16.000 --> 00:17:18.160 from her yet, so I guess she's giving the victim 373 00:17:18.200 --> 00:17:21.519 actor rest for now, or maybe she's just planning a 374 00:17:21.599 --> 00:17:26.240 theatrical and dramatic comeback. Knowing her, I wouldn't completely rule 375 00:17:26.240 --> 00:17:28.759 the second theory out. I just hope that whatever she 376 00:17:28.839 --> 00:17:31.559 has to do isn't scheduled to happen before she gets 377 00:17:31.559 --> 00:17:34.839 served with the divorce papers. It'll be awkward if she 378 00:17:34.920 --> 00:17:37.000 decides to come back and Ben tells her that he 379 00:17:37.039 --> 00:17:40.839 wants a divorce. Frank and I have discussed the possibility 380 00:17:40.880 --> 00:17:42.680 of that happening, and we know that she's going to 381 00:17:42.680 --> 00:17:44.680 throw a fit either way, but it'll just be worse 382 00:17:44.720 --> 00:17:47.559 if she does it in person. I'm just keeping my 383 00:17:47.640 --> 00:17:49.960 fingers crossed that she stays away for a couple of 384 00:17:50.000 --> 00:17:54.319 more days. Update four. All right, So Sharon was served 385 00:17:54.319 --> 00:17:56.200 with a divorce a couple of days ago, and like 386 00:17:56.279 --> 00:18:00.440 I said, she threw a fit. Interestingly enough, it wasn't 387 00:18:00.480 --> 00:18:02.400 Ben that she was upset with, but it was me. 388 00:18:03.440 --> 00:18:05.640 I really didn't see that coming because I didn't think 389 00:18:05.680 --> 00:18:07.680 there was anywhere she could make this about me since 390 00:18:07.720 --> 00:18:10.640 this was between her and her husband. But I guess 391 00:18:10.640 --> 00:18:13.119 I underestimated her, since as soon as she was served, 392 00:18:14.079 --> 00:18:16.559 she decided to go online and make a post about 393 00:18:16.559 --> 00:18:19.279 how I'd manipulated Ben into leaving her, and now all 394 00:18:19.319 --> 00:18:21.599 of us were probably going to celebrate because I'd won 395 00:18:21.680 --> 00:18:25.440 and she'd lost. I honestly wasn't even competing with her, 396 00:18:25.680 --> 00:18:28.519 so I don't know where the winning losing thing comes from. 397 00:18:28.799 --> 00:18:30.920 And it's pretty disturbing to think that she looked at 398 00:18:30.920 --> 00:18:33.200 me as competition because she's a lot older than me 399 00:18:33.319 --> 00:18:37.440 and is literally my mother in law. It's weird. She 400 00:18:37.519 --> 00:18:39.519 didn't even talk to Frank or to Ben about it 401 00:18:39.559 --> 00:18:41.480