1
00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:05,960
Speaker 1: Hi there, it's Johnny Depth and I've written one thousand

2
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:09,080
first dates Portrait of a Palm Beach player for guys

3
00:00:09,199 --> 00:00:13,359
like us. It's literally a roadmap for avoiding the minefields

4
00:00:13,359 --> 00:00:16,679
of mature dating. I had to learn this the hard way.

5
00:00:17,079 --> 00:00:24,960
Control your reactions, control your outcome. People say dumb things.

6
00:00:25,079 --> 00:00:28,440
We all do. It's part of being human. An awkward moment,

7
00:00:28,559 --> 00:00:31,879
a poorly phrased comment, or a misread situation. These things

8
00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:35,000
happen all the time. Most of the time. They don't

9
00:00:35,039 --> 00:00:39,520
mean anything. They're not attacks, they're not threats. They're just

10
00:00:39,759 --> 00:00:42,960
blips in the rhythm of human interaction. So if you're

11
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,799
the kind of man who wants to get ahead in

12
00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:48,039
dating and in life, you've got to learn to let

13
00:00:48,039 --> 00:00:54,960
the small stuff slide. But what if someone crosses the line.

14
00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:58,719
What if the comment isn't just awkward it's rude. What

15
00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:03,479
if the behavior is just clumsy, it's controlling or manipulative.

16
00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:09,200
That's when your reaction matters most, not the other person's behavior,

17
00:01:09,239 --> 00:01:12,959
your reaction, because you don't control what other people say

18
00:01:13,079 --> 00:01:16,760
or do. You only control how you respond, and your

19
00:01:16,799 --> 00:01:23,599
response determines your outcome. This is one of the core

20
00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:28,680
truths every high value man must understand you will be tested.

21
00:01:28,879 --> 00:01:32,400
You will be poked, prodded, and provoked. Whether it's a

22
00:01:32,439 --> 00:01:35,040
woman on a date, a colleague in a meeting, or

23
00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:38,560
a stranger in traffic, people will try to get a

24
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:41,599
reaction out of you, and the moment you give them

25
00:01:41,599 --> 00:01:46,640
what they want, whether that's anger, frustration, or desperation, you've

26
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:53,280
handed over your power. There's a phrase used in military

27
00:01:53,319 --> 00:01:56,799
circles that I've come to love, Charlie, Mike. It means

28
00:01:56,920 --> 00:02:00,519
continue mission. In other words, stay the course, don't get

29
00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:04,359
thrown off, don't let us set back, derail you if

30
00:02:04,359 --> 00:02:07,920
someone insults you, shrugs you off, mocks your ideas, or

31
00:02:07,959 --> 00:02:12,280
ghost you. Charlie Mike, continue mission, let it bounce off

32
00:02:12,319 --> 00:02:18,520
your armor, and keep moving forward. Because the truth is

33
00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:21,439
people can only control you if you let them. The

34
00:02:21,479 --> 00:02:25,159
second you lose control of your emotional state, you become reactive,

35
00:02:25,199 --> 00:02:27,800
and a reactive man is not a powerful man. A

36
00:02:27,879 --> 00:02:31,400
reactive man is at the mercy of others. He's dancing

37
00:02:31,439 --> 00:02:34,599
to someone else's tune. That's not where you want to be,

38
00:02:34,719 --> 00:02:40,680
not in dating, not in business, not in life. The

39
00:02:40,719 --> 00:02:44,639
best men I know, the ones who truly embody masculine strength.

40
00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:48,960
All have one thing in common, emotional discipline. They don't

41
00:02:49,039 --> 00:02:51,840
lash out, they don't break down, they don't let the

42
00:02:51,879 --> 00:02:57,240
world dictate their mood. They respond with clarity, calm, and purpose.

43
00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:01,759
And it's not because they're emotionless, because they've trained themselves

44
00:03:01,759 --> 00:03:08,120
to respond instead of react. So how do you develop

45
00:03:08,159 --> 00:03:10,759
this kind of strength? It starts with awareness. Pay attention

46
00:03:10,879 --> 00:03:13,879
to your triggers. Notice what sets you off? Is it

47
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:19,240
being ignored, disrespected? Challenge whatever it is, Identify it, then

48
00:03:19,479 --> 00:03:22,599
reframe it. When someone pushes that button, see it for

49
00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:26,439
what it is, an opportunity to sharpen your control instead

50
00:03:26,439 --> 00:03:30,400
of reacting. Breathe, pause, smile, even, and then decide with

51
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:38,280
intention how you want to proceed. This kind of emotional

52
00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:42,759
control is magnetic. Women sense it, they feel it, they

53
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:45,840
respect it. A man who can maintain his composure under

54
00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:50,400
pressure is infinitely more attractive than a man who's emotionally volatile.

55
00:03:50,879 --> 00:03:53,879
Why because he's safe, not in a boring way, but

56
00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:56,800
in a this man knows himself kind of way. And

57
00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:59,400
in a world full of weak, reactive men, that kind

58
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:05,319
of stability is rare. Now, none of this means you

59
00:04:05,319 --> 00:04:10,800
should tolerate disrespect quite the opposite. If someone is genuinely rude, manipulative,

60
00:04:10,879 --> 00:04:13,919
or controlling, you don't owe them your time or energy.

61
00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:17,920
You don't need to argue, explain, or retaliate. You just

62
00:04:18,079 --> 00:04:23,920
exit gracefully, decisively. A calm exit is more powerful than

63
00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:28,160
a dramatic confrontation. It says you're not worth my peace,

64
00:04:29,439 --> 00:04:35,879
and believe me. People remember that this principle is especially

65
00:04:35,879 --> 00:04:39,519
important in dating. You're going to meet people who test you,

66
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:44,360
sometimes intentionally, sometimes subconsciously. A woman might push your buttons

67
00:04:44,439 --> 00:04:46,360
just to see how you respond. She wants to know

68
00:04:46,399 --> 00:04:49,199
if you can handle yourself. If you lose your cool,

69
00:04:49,439 --> 00:04:51,879
she'll see you as weak. If you shut down, she'll

70
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:55,160
see you as emotionally unavailable. But if you stay centered,

71
00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,759
that's when she leans in. That's when she starts to

72
00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:04,639
trust your strength. Let's say you're on a date and

73
00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:07,959
she makes a sarcastic comment about your job or appearance.

74
00:05:08,639 --> 00:05:11,879
Instead of snapping back or getting flustered, try this smile

75
00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:16,639
and change the subject or throw it back playfully, deflect

76
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:20,160
without defensiveness, because what she's really doing is checking for

77
00:05:20,199 --> 00:05:23,519
your frame. Are you solid or are you shook? And

78
00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:30,839
if your frame is strong, you've passed the test. Controlling

79
00:05:30,959 --> 00:05:34,639
your reactions also protects your long term happiness. If every

80
00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:37,720
rude comment or rejection sends you into a spiral, you're

81
00:05:37,759 --> 00:05:41,519
going to live in constant turmoil, your dread, dating, your

82
00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:44,360
fear failure. But if you learn to see those moments

83
00:05:44,439 --> 00:05:48,000
as noise, as irrelevant distractions, you'll move through the world

84
00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:51,879
with freedom. You'll take more risks, engage more fully, and

85
00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:58,680
recover more quickly. The most successful men aren't the ones

86
00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:04,240
who never fail. They're the ones who recover fastest. Rejection, failure,

87
00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:08,279
and friction are baked into the game. You're not going

88
00:06:08,279 --> 00:06:11,560
to avoid them, but you can choose how you respond.

89
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:19,120
You can keep moving forward, you can continue mission, and

90
00:06:19,199 --> 00:06:22,360
when you do, you become unstoppable. A man who controls

91
00:06:22,439 --> 00:06:26,399
his reactions controls the room. He controls the energy of

92
00:06:26,439 --> 00:06:29,399
the conversation. He controls the tone of the date, He

93
00:06:29,519 --> 00:06:33,600
sets the rhythm he leads, and women crave that they

94
00:06:33,639 --> 00:06:36,199
want to be with someone who can hold it together

95
00:06:36,319 --> 00:06:42,360
no matter what life throws their way. This doesn't mean

96
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:45,959
you become cold or robotic. You're not hiding your emotions,

97
00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:50,879
you're mastering them. You still feel things, You still connect.

98
00:06:51,439 --> 00:06:55,639
You still care, but you express those emotions with intention.

99
00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:59,319
You speak with purpose, you act with strength, and that

100
00:06:59,399 --> 00:07:06,639
makes all the Let's say someone ghosts you after two

101
00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:11,240
great dates. Instead of chasing or venting, you simply move on.

102
00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:16,560
No texts, no follow ups, no drama, just silence. That

103
00:07:16,839 --> 00:07:20,959
silence says more than any angry message ever could. It

104
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:28,600
says I'm good with or without you. Or maybe someone

105
00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:32,439
tries to provoke you with politics, religion, or a personal job.

106
00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:36,439
Instead of engaging in a fruitless debate, you keep your cool,

107
00:07:36,639 --> 00:07:39,600
You smile, you change the subject, or you end the

108
00:07:39,639 --> 00:07:44,439
conversation entirely. Again, it's not about winning the argument, it's

109
00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:51,560
about winning your own peace. When you stop reacting emotionally,

110
00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:56,639
you start seeing clearly, You stop chasing validation, you stop

111
00:07:56,759 --> 00:08:00,040
needing to prove yourself, You start living on your terms,

112
00:08:00,079 --> 00:08:03,120
and that shift changes everything from the way you date

113
00:08:03,199 --> 00:08:09,360
to the way you lead your life. Control his freedom,

114
00:08:09,399 --> 00:08:15,519
Control is attraction. Control is power. So the next time

115
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:17,879
someone tries to get a rise out of you, remember

116
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:22,120
your reaction is your responsibility, not theirs, yours. And when

117
00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:24,959
you master that, the rest of the world has no

118
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:31,439
choice but to respect it. Charlie Mike continue mission, because nothing,

119
00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:34,799
not rejection, not insult, not friction, can stop a man

120
00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:40,840
who stays in control. To get my book, one thousand

121
00:08:40,879 --> 00:08:43,600
First States. Portrait of a Palm Beach Player Click the

122
00:08:43,639 --> 00:08:47,519
link in the description or go to www dot Palmbeach

123
00:08:47,639 --> 00:08:49,600
player dot com. Happy datinq

