Speaker 1: Mather if Maxwell House wheeling the only coffee in the world, Well,
Speaker 1: your father says so, and your father knows this.
Speaker 2: Yes, it's father knows.
Speaker 3: It's transcribed in Hollywood, starring Robert Young's father, A half
Speaker 3: hour visit with your neighbors, the Andersons, brought to you
Speaker 3: by America's favorite coffee, Maxwell House, the coffee that's always
Speaker 3: good to the last drop. There was once an ancient
Speaker 3: Greek a lad named Zenobius, who probably didn't know a
Speaker 3: putter from the front end of a buggy with Yet
Speaker 3: in the year one fifty four a d he wrote
Speaker 3: contests allow no excuses, no more do friendships. And if
Speaker 3: that doesn't describe the average golf tournament, it comes mighty
Speaker 3: mighty close. Today in Springfield, in the white frame house
Speaker 3: on Maple Street, we find that things haven't changed a
Speaker 3: great deal in the last eighteen centuries.
Speaker 2: Customs and costumes.
Speaker 3: May have altered slightly, but people go on forever like
Speaker 3: this put.
Speaker 4: Mother, the whole plate depins on it. I told them
Speaker 4: I'd buy a new dress.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Betty, you had no right to tell them
Speaker 1: anything like that. Mother. You don't understand. I'm a star.
Speaker 4: I'm Camille and how can Camille die in an old dress?
Speaker 1: You just have to manage, Dear, the greatest opportunity of
Speaker 1: my life.
Speaker 4: Everyone will be watching me, and I have to die
Speaker 4: in that old rag. I'll just die, I'm sure you will.
Speaker 4: Dear mother, you're not even listening. Why can't I just
Speaker 4: ask him?
Speaker 2: Betty?
Speaker 1: I know it means a great deal to you, but
Speaker 1: try to think of the rest of us. Your father's
Speaker 1: having so much trouble with his car. Now if you
Speaker 1: ask him for a new dress. Oh, dear, I told
Speaker 1: him to be careful. But what are you doing out there?
Speaker 1: I wasn't doing anything, Mom, Oh he was. Kathy, You
Speaker 1: and Bud come in here this very minute, Mother, couldn't.
Speaker 4: We explain to a minute's really sort of an investment.
Speaker 2: Betty?
Speaker 1: Please not now, Bud? What was that noise?
Speaker 2: Noise you mean just now?
Speaker 4: Yes, just now, you mean the noise that sounded like
Speaker 4: a window breaking.
Speaker 2: Yes, a window broke, Bud?
Speaker 1: Which window? And who broke it?
Speaker 5: It was the garage window and a rock broke it.
Speaker 1: Mother, They've ruined everything. No, I'll never get the dress.
Speaker 1: What did we do? You broke a window, that's what?
Speaker 1: And father will be all upset. I didn't break a window.
Speaker 2: Kathy broke it. I did not. You broke it.
Speaker 1: That's as much as I did.
Speaker 5: I didn't even touch the rock.
Speaker 1: Well, it was your golf club, and you told me
Speaker 1: what to do. I did not. You certainly did.
Speaker 2: I certainly didn't.
Speaker 1: Children, Please you, Father me home soon? He's home now?
Speaker 1: Kee's Oh, dear Cathy, don't you say anything to your
Speaker 1: father until I've had a chance to say. Yes, Jim,
Speaker 1: we're in the kitchen there, you would have let me
Speaker 1: have the dress. I know he would. Now he never will,
Speaker 1: and it's all.
Speaker 4: Your fault mine, yes, yours, you and that that junior
Speaker 4: grade Frankenstein. Mother, Daddy, Please, I will not have you
Speaker 4: whow Oh, hello, dear, what's going on in here?
Speaker 2: Hello?
Speaker 1: Father?
Speaker 2: Hi? Dad?
Speaker 1: Hello Daddy?
Speaker 2: How do you do? Clara? Lou? And em Hi honey?
Speaker 1: Hello dear?
Speaker 2: As I said before, why the kitchen cann You're.
Speaker 1: Home a little early, aren't you, dear?
Speaker 2: Yes? We uh, we finished a little earlier than usual
Speaker 2: this afternoon. What's the matter with the kids?
Speaker 1: They look as though they dinner won't be ready for
Speaker 1: half an hour. Jim, I hope you don't mind.
Speaker 2: No, I don't mind.
Speaker 1: I see so many things came up this afternoon. I've
Speaker 1: been busy trying to get them straightened out.
Speaker 2: Margaret, Yes, dear, what happened? What do you mean, dear,
Speaker 2: I'm being steered away from something? What is it? Daddy?
Speaker 2: I should have known, all right, Kathy? Whose window is
Speaker 2: at this time? Our's the one in the garage. Well,
Speaker 2: that's a novely.
Speaker 5: I guess it was my fault too, Dad. I was
Speaker 5: showing out how to play golf.
Speaker 1: I won't ever do it again. Daddy.
Speaker 6: Well, you don't have to look so solemn about it.
Speaker 6: You certainly didn't do it on purpose, did you.
Speaker 7: Oh?
Speaker 6: Oh no, Daddy, there's nothing so terrible about breaking a window.
Speaker 2: Just an accident, that's all. Jim asked Margaret.
Speaker 1: Do you feel all right, dear?
Speaker 2: Sure, I feel alright. I feel fine. Why.
Speaker 1: I was just wondering, father, Betty, please, but mother, as
Speaker 1: long as he feels that way, Jim. I told her
Speaker 1: quite definitely that it was out of the question. What
Speaker 1: is father, I have to have a new dress.
Speaker 4: It's for the third act of Camille, and I told
Speaker 4: a dramatic coach I would And it's only seventeen dollars,
Speaker 4: and it's just beautiful for when she dies.
Speaker 1: Who the coach, Father, Camille, that I told you just
Speaker 1: a few minutes ago.
Speaker 2: Just a second, Margaret.
Speaker 6: If the dress is that important and that he promised, well,
Speaker 6: there's no reason why she can't get it.
Speaker 1: Father, Holy Kyle, it's.
Speaker 2: Only seventeen dollars.
Speaker 1: What's that we like? Tell Janie Leggett, Jim, are you
Speaker 1: sure you feel all right?
Speaker 6: Never felt better in my life, Margaret. Do you know
Speaker 6: what I did this afternoon?
Speaker 1: No, dear, But if you want to lie down.
Speaker 2: I beat Jim Hathaway.
Speaker 1: That's fine, dear, if you want to lie down for
Speaker 1: a while before dinner.
Speaker 4: Oh it's pale dream father, and it's just like this
Speaker 4: cashio whipped cream.
Speaker 6: Fine, Margaret, you don't understand. Jim Hathaway was a three
Speaker 6: to one favorite. He was even money to win the
Speaker 6: whole tournament, and.
Speaker 2: I beat him. Don't you see what that means?
Speaker 6: I'm in the semifinals, skinny, holy child, Dad, no kidding.
Speaker 2: Fifteen years and I finally made.
Speaker 8: It the semifinals with pale makeup in a soft spotlight.
Speaker 1: Oh, father, I'm the happiest girl in the world.
Speaker 8: Yes, sir, fifteen years. And that isn't the best part.
Speaker 2: Do you know who? I have to play, Ed Davis,
Speaker 2: And if.
Speaker 6: I can't beat him, I'll hang up my shoes.
Speaker 2: Why why?
Speaker 1: Why will you hang up your shoe?
Speaker 2: That's just an expression, Kathy. It means I'll give up
Speaker 2: wearing shoes. No, Kathy playing golf.
Speaker 1: Gosh, Ded, you might even win the cup, mightn't you.
Speaker 9: I certainly mought, Bud. You should have seen the putts
Speaker 9: I drop the.
Speaker 2: Day eighteen feet twenty feet. I was the hottest thing
Speaker 2: on the golf course. If I can just keep it
Speaker 2: up for two more rounds, Jim.
Speaker 1: I don't like to interrupt, but if we're ever going
Speaker 1: to have dinner, is it all right if I called
Speaker 1: Janie mother?
Speaker 2: Yes, dear, come on, Kathy, let's go out in the backyard.
Speaker 2: I'll show you. And but how golf should really be played?
Speaker 1: Oh boy, I get shown first, Jim. Be sure you
Speaker 1: don't wander off somewhere.
Speaker 2: We'll be right here, Margaret.
Speaker 5: That'll be fine, Honey, say Dad, we've been using that
Speaker 5: old five iron you gate.
Speaker 2: Oh wait a second, Bud, say Ed.
Speaker 8: Jim.
Speaker 2: I was just coming over to see you. Ed, did
Speaker 2: you hear what I did to Jim Hathaway. It was murder.
Speaker 2: I know they called me for the club. Jim, I've
Speaker 2: got a terrific favor to ask of you. Okay, what's
Speaker 2: the matter with you?
Speaker 8: Oh, I've got a cold, the worst cold I've ever
Speaker 8: had my whole life.
Speaker 2: Hello, Kathy, Bud, I don't get too close to me.
Speaker 2: I'm a walking gerb Oh, you certainly picked up a pip. Jim.
Speaker 8: Would it be all right with you if we postponed
Speaker 8: our batch until Sunday?
Speaker 2: Gosh, I don't know ed that's when the finals are
Speaker 2: supposed to be played.
Speaker 8: I know, Jim, but I'm pretty sure I could lick
Speaker 8: this cold by Sunday that I could play the semifinals
Speaker 8: in the body and the finals in the afternoon.
Speaker 2: Oh you can. Can you what happened to me? Oh, Jim,
Speaker 2: Let's face it. If I can't lick you, I'll hang
Speaker 2: up my shoes. Wait a minute.
Speaker 8: I wouldn't ask you, Jim, but this is a big
Speaker 8: thicket my life. I've been trying to reach the finals
Speaker 8: for ten years.
Speaker 2: I've been trying for fifteen or jib. Let's not be ridiculous.
Speaker 2: You don't stand the chance as you do it. Oh,
Speaker 2: I don't, don't I or why.
Speaker 8: I could spot you six strokes aside and still beat you.
Speaker 2: But with this cold, well maybe I won't win.
Speaker 6: But at least I don't go around trying to build
Speaker 6: up an alibi beati what meaning?
Speaker 2: I could beat you with or without a coal? And
Speaker 2: you know it, Jib, we've been friends for a long time.
Speaker 2: That's got nothing to do with it. Golf is golf,
Speaker 2: and if you can't play tomorrow, you'll forfeit the match.
Speaker 8: Well that's fine, that's fine, after all the things I've done.
Speaker 9: For you, and you're taking the wrong attitude about this
Speaker 9: whole thing.
Speaker 2: I want to beat you fair and square.
Speaker 6: Yeah, but how can I if you let a little
Speaker 6: thing like a coal get you down?
Speaker 2: A little thing.
Speaker 8: I'm so weak I could hardly see. Sure, sure, because
Speaker 8: you aren't trying to fight it, Jib. When you get
Speaker 8: into the house, fix yourself a hot.
Speaker 2: Lemonade, take two aspirins, and then concentrate jib to yourself.
Speaker 6: I haven't got a cold, never had a cold. I'm
Speaker 6: too strong and healthy to get a cold. Believe me,
Speaker 6: it's all in your mind.
Speaker 2: God, bless you, thank you.
Speaker 6: Remember that guy Kua every day, in every way, I'm
Speaker 6: getting better and better and better.
Speaker 8: Yeah, whatever happened to him anyway, he died, But Ed
Speaker 8: it works, I've tried it.
Speaker 2: You can talk yourself out of practically anything.
Speaker 8: Yeah you sure, Cad, Well, if that's the way you wanted, Jim, Ed,
Speaker 8: I'm trying to help you.
Speaker 2: Okay. I'll be there at the body if they have
Speaker 2: to carry me on a stretcher. And don't forget the
Speaker 2: hot lemonade and aspirin. That'll help too.
Speaker 8: Thanks Jim, every day and every way you've been a
Speaker 8: great health See you tomorrow dead.
Speaker 1: We aren't gonna have much time.
Speaker 2: Oh, sure we are. Where's the ball?
Speaker 1: We don't have a ball. That's why we have to
Speaker 1: use rocks.
Speaker 2: What happened to that practice ball I gave you? You know,
Speaker 2: the cotton one? There the garage. We'll get it. We can't.
Speaker 1: It's stuck in the back of a big log.
Speaker 5: That's right, Dan. You can't reach it unless we get
Speaker 5: the log out of the way.
Speaker 6: I've never seen a more helpless pair of kids in
Speaker 6: my life?
Speaker 1: Is this it? Uh huh? Over there in Beth.
Speaker 2: But I'll lift the log and you reach in for
Speaker 2: the ball. Okay, Dan, Are you ready? You bet? One?
Speaker 2: Two three?
Speaker 1: Daddy, isn't it Daddy?
Speaker 2: Well, my hands wants to slip. Let's try it again,
Speaker 2: Bud ready? Right? One two three? Oh? I don't know.
Speaker 6: Something snapped and I, oh gosh, I.
Speaker 2: Can't straighten up.
Speaker 7: Daddy.
Speaker 3: Maybe your suspenders got stuck, but I don't wear suspenders.
Speaker 2: Oh that's right, I forgot fine son, you turned out
Speaker 2: to be I'm in more little agony and you have
Speaker 2: to make jokes.
Speaker 5: I was making a joke then, Yaddy, Oh my back?
Speaker 1: What is it?
Speaker 2: Kathy?
Speaker 1: I know how you can fix it?
Speaker 5: You do?
Speaker 2: Huh sure?
Speaker 4: All you have to say is every day and every
Speaker 4: way I'm standing upper and upper and upper.
Speaker 2: Kathy. You know what will happen if I take my
Speaker 2: belt off? Uh? Hi? You pastootball down.
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