Speaker 1: Good morning from Hell.
Speaker 2: It's you good friend Clayton here with Chris as usual. Sorry,
I got a spit in the back of my mouth.
I say a class Chris. Hello, Chris, Hello Chris.
Speaker 3: Hi.
Speaker 4: I thought you had just decided to change my name
to Clariss.
Speaker 2: I'm considering it. Sounds like you have a hell hound
in the background there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, the hell hounds are acting up. You know,
it's that time of year.
Speaker 1: What time of year would that be?
Speaker 4: Well, I guess the hell hounds are always trying to
eat people and yeah that's year round though, that's just normal,
it's just Hell.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Oh, they're really they're really hungry. Does that specific hell
hound need to be let out.
Speaker 1: To my chance?
Speaker 4: Hold up one second? Okay, yeah, so I'm Chloss maybe now,
and I died recently. My eternal punishment is to do
this podcast where we interview everyone in Hell and uh yeah, Clayton,
you've already introduced yourself, but for those unfamiliar, he's the
Secretary of War Hell and also the younger brother of Satan.
Speaker 1: That's right, big bro yep? Yeah cool. Well, how's your
week been going.
Speaker 4: It's been it's been Yeah, it's been a week. You know,
time happens differently in Hell. So one week, one month,
one year, I don't know. I do want to remind, though,
people to check us out on social media at at
morning from Hell. We have Twitter, we have Instagram, we
have Facebook, we even have TikTok.
Speaker 2: Neither of us touch the TikTok. In fact, I'm pretty
sure I lost the pass.
Speaker 1: No no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 4: Uh. There have been videos been posted to TikTok. So
if you're not following us on TikTok, you're missing out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, go check all of this.
Speaker 4: I mean apparently Clayton is as well, because he didn't
even know it was a thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, totally missing out. I'll let's go check them out later.
Speaker 2: Perfectly executed segue, by the way, I mean, just stuck
the landing, nailed it, seamless.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: So who are we interviewing this week?
Speaker 2: Well, Chris, as you mentioned, I am the Secretary of
War down here in Hell, and as you know, we
are at war with Heaven. That shouldn't be a surprise
to anybody. But things have really amped up. Things have
escalated here in the last several months. Things are getting serious.
So I'm here to say, we've got a surprise attack coming.
Speaker 1: We're gonna go up there, We're gonna we're gonna catch
them off guard. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, by nature of a surprise attack, is it a
good idea to announce it on a podcast that's live.
Speaker 2: What I meant to say is we may have a
surprise attack. Who knows they should probably keep their guards up,
down or down, preferably down.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just hey, this is all this is all strategy, Chris, Chris, listen,
this is all just strategy.
Speaker 1: It's all part of my master plan.
Speaker 4: There may or may not be an attack that may
or may not ever happen, and it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, who knows, I know, but they don't.
Speaker 4: So okay, So what do I may or may not
need to know about this attack?
Speaker 2: Well, Chris, we have the secret ultimate ultra weapon.
Speaker 3: Huh.
Speaker 2: I've been developing it the second I landed in office
I became Secretary of War.
Speaker 1: I immediately went to our top.
Speaker 2: Laboratory guys, scientists, dudes in lab coats, nerds, whatever you
want to call them, huh, and I said, we need
to get to work on this, this master plan of mine.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Is it some sort of like warp that could suck
Heaven down to Hell or something.
Speaker 1: No, it is not a warp to suck off Heaven.
It's not.
Speaker 4: Is it the Antichrist or something like that. I don't know.
That's that's too basic.
Speaker 2: But they've telegraphed that in the Bible, so like they
see that coming. But that's Nope, it's not it.
Speaker 1: That's not it.
Speaker 4: Gotta think bigger, Chris, bigger? Can you like harness the
fires of the underworld it into some sort of weapon
that then shoots directly up into Heaven.
Speaker 1: No, what do I look like? J? J.
Speaker 3: Abrams recycling ideas from thirty forty fifty years ago.
Speaker 1: No, this isn't Star Wars, Chris, it's not a death start.
Speaker 4: Okay, well then what is it?
Speaker 1: No, it's even bigger what you give up? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Well, if you'll remember a while ago, when we first
started this show, we brought on a master military tactician.
Speaker 1: His name was Doug poll Chaos. No, dougug Chaos.
Speaker 4: Oh dougg kaos.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And unfortunately we attempted a coup against Satan and
it failed to clarify, this is not the same coup
as the one that happened in the US capital.
Speaker 1: Those idiots.
Speaker 2: They got it all wrong and they're gonna be being
hell for sure. But uh, yeah we did this. What
a year ago, Chris.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was actually the second episode of this podcast,
so a lot of time listeners might remember.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Anyways, Doug Gug died.
Speaker 2: Yeah, usually really sad, but uh, we're bringing him back
to life.
Speaker 1: What he's better than ever.
Speaker 2: He's stronger, faster, more powerful than he was before. Please
welcome Doug dug Gug Chaos. Come on in, Doug Gug
is back.
Speaker 4: Oh man, guys, wow, God, Okay, I'm just gonna describe
to listeners what I'm seeing.
Speaker 1: Oh please, all right, Yeah, take a lot, take it in, Chris.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so it's a demon, a big half of us.
What was a strong dealer? You just got big muscles,
but some of them are robot parts.
Speaker 1: You nailed it, okay.
Speaker 3: See yeah, listen, I've always been a strong guy except
for my tiny little centipede legs.
Speaker 1: That was a whole thing. It's been dealt with.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Clayton here, the mastermind, the mastermind. After that coup
went ahead, put me back together. It made me a
cyber demon. Clayton, first off, can't thank.
Speaker 1: You enough for it. Of course it looks great. Yes,
get a great job, thank you.
Speaker 3: Second off, Chris, I gotta say, what the hell with
the coup?
Speaker 1: All right?
Speaker 3: I ran in there headstrong. I didn't see a look
at you. I don't know where you went during that
whole thing.
Speaker 4: I was bringing up the rear, bringing up the rear.
Speaker 3: You know, you must have been in the far damn rear.
I didn't see a thing out there. All that's always
the barrel of the hell gun. And the next thing
I know, I'm sleeping six well, no, I guess not
six feet underground of fur underground?
Speaker 1: Down are we sixty six feet?
Speaker 3: Six feet underground? And then the lights turned on? Huh,
And I'm back a cyber demon. Let me tell you
something about being a cyber demon though, because you know,
there's not a lot of us. I know, there's video
games out there, you get your dooms, things like that.
You might have heard about a cyber demon. They really
glorify it. It's not all it's cracked up to me.
There's some good parts, but some of the attachments they
give me are questionable. Yeah, which ones?
Speaker 1: What do you what do you mean? I thought I
thought you were a perfect the perfect machine.
Speaker 3: You know, he gave me the cybernetic guy, right, I
got a cybernetic guy in there.
Speaker 1: Looks cool, it looks great, great to have, you.
Speaker 3: Know, bonus targeting everything like that. But you know how
maybe in the comic books and stuff like that, if
people had cybernetic guys, they could see through clothes. You know,
you could kind of get a little riskay with that.
Ye yeah, yeah, my eye ads closed to people. Oh,
everyone's wearing another layer when I look at them, which
it kind of it throws some things out of whack.
Speaker 1: You think you see the weak spot on.
Speaker 3: Somebody, and then all of a sudden they're in a
parka and yeah, you can't really tell what's going.
Speaker 1: On, and that has its issues. That's weird.
Speaker 4: What is what was the design tension for that?
Speaker 1: I really don't know.
Speaker 2: I think we were we were supposed to do the opposite,
and then we might have just crossed some wires.
Speaker 1: I get get a computer.
Speaker 2: We can boot you up your operating system, give you
a quick cool patch, you know, fix you up right
as new, you know what.
Speaker 3: I haven't updated in a while, and uh, you know,
Windows keeps popping up in here and trying to get
me to do it, so it's probably about time. Yeah,
you're still operating off XP oh boy, oh yeah, that's
the that's the one I got out of the Vista.
Speaker 1: Thank god. Yeah, you're just gonna have to grab that
USB cables. It just slides on out right.
Speaker 4: Where's it right there?
Speaker 2: Just grab his you gotta grab his dongle there, Chris
is USB dongle?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, come on, hey, just a second, I'm gonna
get down there, Chris, all right, all right, all right,
we're gonna plug it in this USB.
Speaker 4: Do I have to do? I need to tug on
it to give it because it's not doesn't reachols. Okay,
so just pull, just tug, Yeah, just tug. Okay, get hurt?
Speaker 1: Does that?
Speaker 4: This?
Speaker 1: Give it the old Doug gun tug they call it?
Speaker 5: There?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that didn't hurt. Oh no, it feels great actually. Okay,
now take this card plugging it plug plugged in. Yeah,
all right, no the other way.
Speaker 4: Chris, come on, come on, sorry, sorry, sorry I always.
Speaker 1: Get this wrong. Amateurs. All right, I mean Satan's okay, all.
Speaker 2: Right, booting you up here we go type in a
couple of lines of code there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so what am I wearing right now?
Speaker 3: Uh, okay, so I you know I've seen I've seen
the show before. I was the cyber I am now,
and I know that normally you got your tattered rags on.
Speaker 1: I love it. It's good. Look. It works for him, Clayton. Uh,
don't give him anything else.
Speaker 3: But you know, right now, I'm seeing a three piece
suit on this guy, and uh, it's it's disgusting. It's disgusting.
If you could just type in a little something else there, type.
Speaker 1: That in a couple of ons coding there you go
and enter how about that? What wo wow?
Speaker 3: Fishnet tank top? Hey, you know what, not a bad
look for you. It's not a bad like we're getting
less clothing. I like it seems like we're closer to
the original design here.
Speaker 1: Still got some cargo shorts on there.
Speaker 4: And then, uh, I don't know if that helps in combat,
just to cargo shorts and fish nets.
Speaker 3: This isn't about combat right now. I want clothes gone. Okay, okay,
keep keep pushing it a little further there, claim Okay,
gonna change this.
Speaker 2: Move a couple of lines, okay, and then I'm gonna
up that power there and.
Speaker 6: Wola, oh whoa, whoa, Oh my god, oh whoa oh.
Speaker 3: I didn't even know I could shoelacers from that eye. Clayton,
there you go, new upgrade, good.
Speaker 1: Good as new.
Speaker 3: Hey, and you know what, you fix the other thing too.
I shot a naked man right there as far as
I can tell. Love it, good stuff, all right. Oh man,
don't worry. It will caught a rise right on impact.
You'll be fine. Thanks that up, Graham'm glad you fixed
that for me. There's a couple more things we gotta
talk about here, though, Clayton.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, you got the tank treads, you know,
instead of the centipede legs the milliped legs, you got
sick tank legs.
Speaker 1: And it's great.
Speaker 3: I can crush people just by running them over all right,
by walking.
Speaker 1: I'm killing people. I never could do that before. I
love it.
Speaker 3: But we got to talk about the the installation in
my right ribs here, the compartment there. I understand that
maybe you were just trying to help out with, you know,
just everyday activities, and uh so I appreciate the Canafa
breeze that will come out and uh and sprits at
a moment's notice.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's more. It's more of the.
Speaker 3: Fact that I need to buy the refills. You think
it would kind of come with a few more, and
they're expensive. They stuck up, you know, I mean that's
how that's how.
Speaker 1: They get you.
Speaker 2: You know, you buy the one main dispenser thing and
then all the refills are just expensive as ship.
Speaker 1: But that's you know, right right right now.
Speaker 3: And Target they never have brimstone and they never have
that on sale.
Speaker 1: That goes off the shelf. What is it? Now? Is
it lavender? What do you go? Let me see? What?
What sent do I got in here? Right now?
Speaker 4: Chris?
Speaker 3: Why don't you check it out? Get really close there,
see what he's got? Care it will go off right now?
What does it smell like, Chris? What do you got
against spice?
Speaker 2: It's yeah, like February. Oh god, that's not a season.
I'm so sorry, Doug, Doug, Doug.
Speaker 1: Where do they all go when the season's out? Down here?
That's another thing for you people.
Speaker 4: I don't think that's good for combat or just you know.
Speaker 1: No, it's not.
Speaker 3: What is good for combat though, is outfitted right here
on my left fore arm. This was brilliant, By the way.
This is the most high powered vacuum on the market.
And again you might think you might think, oh, is
that just for cleaning. Wrong, it's for heaven. You can
suck up those clouds. Where are they standing when their
platforms are gone? Brilliant They've been looking forward to getting
up there and sucking clouds for years. Now you're gonna
pull the ground right from below them, the rug up
from beneath their feet.
Speaker 1: Wait, don't they have wings? Oh?
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, all right, all right's gonna shoot plot
holes in every single one of the plans here.
Speaker 1: But you know it's another the one who's sucking the
plot holes.
Speaker 3: I can't tell if they have wings anymore. That counts
as clothing to me. They're just naked and floating around.
Now again, you know, I kind of wish I was
outfitted a bit more like these doom cyber demons. I
don't really have the BFG and stuff like that.
Speaker 4: I got a glock, got a clock.
Speaker 1: I got a glock. It's not built into me, but
I got one that's just a weapon.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, but again I got the targeting eye, so
oh yeah, yeah, yeah, Now it's like.
Speaker 1: An extension of me.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, you know, I understand.
Speaker 1: Hey, tank treads don't even remind you of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: Listen, every day it's like the opening of a terminator movie.
Speaker 2: He's just rolling over skulls left and right. You know,
it's so cool to watch. I mean, in fairness, we
don't really have cobblestone.
Speaker 3: It is mostly skulls, and pretty often I do have
to pay for the damages and the repairs, so but
you know, I'm just paying taxes.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: It's so like you got the glock, but does your
other hands make it difficult to load, because I mean,
we have an attachment on that hand and I can't
imagine that it's it's really I mean, how are you
adjusting with your new prosthetic limb?
Speaker 1: I admit the right arm. Yeah, reloading with that pretty difficult.
Speaker 3: I know that the conversations are out there about Swiss
army knife on there. We couldn't get buy in from Switzerland,
so we got a Polish army knife. It's honestly just
several different sizes of sausages. I don't know why they
think they need that to flip out on a moment's notice.
Speaker 4: And sizes of sausages yeah, yeah, yea, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: There's there's the extra long one.
Speaker 3: We've got like the the frankfurter in the middle there,
that's my middle finger.
Speaker 1: Hey, you know, people really know when you're pissed off.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but like, what's the utility of just having sausages?
Speaker 1: They don't eat meat in heaven, I don't know. You
know this.
Speaker 3: So it's really gonna throw a lot of them for
a loop once we're up there, because the fact is
people keep keep not realizing it, and I don't know how.
I mean, we got peda up there talking about it
all the time. There are souls in these animals. I mean,
they they all got them. And then if you're eating meat,
you know, I'm taking it up there. Ye ugug.
Speaker 2: The thing you failed to realize is that's that's a
sausage launcher, so you could shoot sausages into their mouths.
Speaker 1: I mean, just catch them totally off guard. Oh my wait,
could you not tried that yet? I haven't tried that yet. Chris,
open up. Yeah, I'm hungry. Give hit me up, hit
me Chris, keut the other side of the room. There
you go, there you go, No step back, one more
step back? That perfect? All right, I'm gonna give you
the pinky. It's it's a vienna coming at you. Three
two one fire. Oh my god, she shut the clock hand.
Speaker 3: That's the glock. I don't even remember picking that up,
if I'm honest. Oh shoot this, shoot this, shoot, this
is the vienna. Maybe it'll plug the wound. Yeah, hang on,
vienna incoming. Oh my god, it's just as powerful as
the glock. I've that more souer bullet, but thoughtless. Wow,
that vienna could rip through concrete if I tried.
Speaker 1: Come on, Chris, come on back in your seat. Come on,
there you go, you'll you'll hand up here in a second.
There you go, Pat on the back. You're good to go.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's the problem with it's always get better.
Speaker 3: Hey, hey, flavor wise though, I'm about that sausage.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was really good as it was going through
my brain.
Speaker 1: You're damn right.
Speaker 4: It was. It's like I could almost.
Speaker 1: Think it now.
Speaker 4: It was so good to power the bullet, not as much.
Speaker 3: Bullets don't have a lot of flavor. I mean, you
learn to like him. It's a classic children cereal down
here in Hell. I gotta ask you, Clayton, by the way,
I don't know if you've talked to your brother since
the coup. You know, and we've been going back and
forth of this attack heaven thing. I feel like we
kind of might need a you know, blessing or anything here.
Speaker 1: Has he said anything about me? Am?
Speaker 3: I still in trouble for the whole coup thing.
Speaker 2: You know, I wanted to wait until you were live
on air to reveal this, but you got a full
Satanic pardon.
Speaker 1: You're free to go. Buddoo. Oh yeah, he just shot
a sausage through the roof.
Speaker 3: That was a big one. It's a kilbosa right up
through there. My god, congratulations. Let me shake your sausage hand.
Speaker 1: Wow. Oh yeah, come, he's strong.
Speaker 4: Look those meaty, meaty fingers.
Speaker 3: Great grip, careful of the casing. Then I'll slide off
in a moment's notice. As you know, Satan just he's
taking a sabbatical and President Cambo, who may he rain
forever and ever am in whatever he's.
Speaker 1: In charge now.
Speaker 2: But that was like one of the things he's doing
before he left office. He's you just passing out, you know,
pardons here and left and right.
Speaker 3: Oh, I got it. I have so much to catch
up on with.
Speaker 4: Oh.
Speaker 1: I love Gambo. I haven't talked to Gambo and so yeah.
Speaker 4: Wait, so have you not been able to leave? Have
you just been in the lab this whole time?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I came right from the lab to here.
Speaker 3: I really haven't done much other than well, sprits for
breeze around and shoot you.
Speaker 1: And rollover tons and tons of skulls and skulls, which
again at to Babor.
Speaker 4: Didn't you have a wife?
Speaker 1: Yeah I did.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh man, she must be worried, sick. Yeah, poor Jill,
Poor Jill.
Speaker 4: I don't think she's worried. I think she just assumes
you're dead still.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think she's like, is he still dead?
He is gonna be surprised.
Speaker 2: So tell you what I mean, that'll be the next
thing that we do after this is we'll have to
go go get Jill and let her know who's back.
Speaker 3: Oh man, old Jill Gil Chaos. Oh my gosh, she's
gonna be ecstatic to see me.
Speaker 1: Oh for sure. Yeah.
Speaker 2: That was a really hard letter to write when you
passed away. I mean, I felt so bad and I
didn't want to say anything, but I programmed you with
some uh you know, extra features for in the the
Private Times.
Speaker 1: Doug, Doug, Doug, Oh.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you give me some upgrade here. I mean, should
we say him on the air or not. I mean,
that's that's your that's your business man. I mean, if
you want to share, I'll go for it.
Speaker 1: You know what I want the world to know. All right, Well,
let me boot him up. Lucy. You got a vibrating feature.
We're gonna access that. Turn that on.
Speaker 3: Okay, Oh go ahead. I didn't expect to be the
whole body. I'll be honest with you, but no, yeah,
all right, we'll turn that.
Speaker 1: On to good feed.
Speaker 2: Go oh gosh, okay, let me see what else? Uh
your your sausage fingers. Look at this. This one's got
a vibrating feature. It's a little little toy, if you will.
Speaker 1: All right, let me see that one. Go it is?
Oh yeah, it's really it's really good. Near went narrow
went was gone, Yeah, it was gone.
Speaker 4: That was that came out fast.
Speaker 1: I might need to tweak that. I don't want to
hurt Jill Gill reloading? Yeah, what's the.
Speaker 4: Refractory period on that thing?
Speaker 3: As fast as I can get a sausage on that
old knuckle?
Speaker 1: Doug, Doug, guggy, you reloaded your ready.
Speaker 3: To go, popped it back on? I can already smell it. Right,
here we go.
Speaker 4: What is the plan for the h maybe surprise attack
on Heaven?
Speaker 1: Maybe?
Speaker 3: I think you made inevitable, that's right. And this has
been a long time coming. There's been a lot of
strategy put in this, and now I'm here all right,
Clayton's greatest weapon. That's right, it's stepping up to do.
So let's go over let's go over the ideas here. Well, Chris,
I mean I have so many strategies. But I mean,
if we're talking about the master plan, well, let's let's like,
let's flip roles. What do you think I think the
plan is?
Speaker 1: Huh? I mean what do you think they're expecting? Right? Right?
Speaker 4: They probably some sort of uh diversionary attack in one
place in Heaven. Well, in reality, your main forces are
all attacking elsewhere, and you send out, you know, different
misleading information different places so that they spread up out
their forces have a better idea. Huh.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, the joke's on you. We were already gonna
do that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, come up with something an original, Chris, Yeah, Chris.
Speaker 4: Sorry, what what is what is your plan?
Speaker 2: Well, now I switch you to you, Doug, Doug ug
what do you think the plan is?
Speaker 3: Uh? Okay, listen, so we got the vacuum, right, we
got the vacuum on our side. Okay, so they can't
see it damn thing from up there, especially you know
what the weather the way it is right now, Listen,
the ground gets gray, starts raining down. They can't see
what's happening down below them. They don't care about what
people on Earth are doing.
Speaker 4: It's not like they're paying attention clearly.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Right, did you see the entire year of twenty twenty. Yeah,
no one out there is looking down.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Their prayer antenna is just shot. I mean it's they're
not answering prayers. They didn't even change the bat. I
got a hot dog right through that thing.
Speaker 3: So I'm going I'm going to be below them with
my vacuum cleaner. Right, they're ready to go, all right,
turn that baby on. Start sucking the ground out from
underneath them. Angels are dropping out, don't worry about the wings.
A few hot dog holes and those wings aren't getting
them anywhere. Oh, I got a glock d you remember that?
Oh yeah, looking for Chrisky. I mean, I'm just telling you,
I'm I'm gonna cap some angels. That's just that's just
the reality of the situation. Listen, you take out their platforms.
They ain't jumping, they ain't gliding, and they don't want
to be seen by the people. Those clouds are gone.
People can look right up and see those angels.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, you take the clouds out, look right out
them skirts.
Speaker 1: They probably don't have underwear on.
Speaker 3: Nope, right, absolutely, and definitely not to me, not after
I've been upgraded.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I mean.
Speaker 3: Like in the original upgrade they look like they were
about to head into a winter storm.
Speaker 1: Now it's just bare ass and balls when I look up. Yeah, okay,
it's quite decidedive behold.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, so you're gonna embarrass them and then.
Speaker 3: And then and then then and then what oh uh uh?
Speaker 1: And then and then and.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah yeah yeah, what's the next Clayton, what's next?
Speaker 1: I mean, what do you think is next? Chris? See
what someone like you would think would be the next play?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I guess at that point they're distracted,
so you'd have the opportunity to launch a full on assault. Right,
let's just go on full end guns, sausages, blaring, glo,
blaring or blazing you know, blazing like this like a saddle,
unless you could you make do you have a noise thing?
Speaker 1: Let me see what I got here?
Speaker 2: Like a sound system. Yeah, we put a couple of
Bluetooth speakers on them. Oh yeah, to sink them all up.
Speaker 4: You could blare something hang on.
Speaker 3: Right on the old ass cheeks there, speakers, got some
subwifers pairing.
Speaker 1: Okay, there it goes. Yeah, there it is.
Speaker 3: It's last little music here. Yeah, royalty free. I'm sure
that is.
Speaker 1: That's right. What else would we use?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 3: Listen, we might be in hell, but we don't want
to get sued. I don't want to get our assets suit,
especially because line's a speaker.
Speaker 1: Yeah no, definitely not. Well guess what you both were, right?
That was that was my plan all along.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, yeah, that was alike, great, great strategy. So
I mean with that being said, all right, Doug, hey,
salute there you go.
Speaker 1: All right?
Speaker 4: Uh, you're just sitting them now right now?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I mean they'll never see it coming. They're
expecting this whole force of troops. But we're gonna have
Doug gug go up there, Doug, Doug gug our ultimate weapon.
He's gonna go, you know, pro their defenses, find their
weak points, and he's gonna.
Speaker 1: Just shoot sausages and mess them up. So you'll look.
Speaker 3: Doug Doug Doug right U okay, all right and attacked, right, okay,
all right, Joe Gill, listen for you to go step
over to that rocket there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let me just pop it in the rocket here.
We've got you.
Speaker 2: Your eyeball is also connected to this computer, so we
can watch a live feet of the attack.
Speaker 1: So you know we've got eyes on.
Speaker 3: Good luck, sir, alright, I'm going in wish me luck,
all right, stay melty alright.
Speaker 4: But we didn't do any of the diversionary stuff.
Speaker 1: That's fine, he doesn't need it. He's Doug Doug Doug Chaos.
He's the best we've got, Chris. I'm saluting him. I'm
saluting the screen right now, powering up right.
Speaker 3: I see those clouds, shucked clouds.
Speaker 1: Oh he's turning on his vacuum. Oh it's all right,
it's working great. Yeah. Wow, man, are you working the coffee?
Speaker 4: He's that light?
Speaker 6: Oh no, oh no really, oh my oh no, Doug
Dug Doug Chaos is down.
Speaker 1: Oh wait, hold up, it's it's it's flickering. He's he's
still there.
Speaker 5: He Chris, you gonna hear me?
Speaker 3: You guys here your couch scared. I wasn't. Oh my god,
I've ripped off his sausage, shooting hands, and there they're
beating him.
Speaker 1: With the sausages, his own sausages. Sausage.
Speaker 6: The taste horrible when they're from the enemy and they're
all naked.
Speaker 1: It's a bunch of naked angels beating me.
Speaker 4: Get him out of there.
Speaker 6: It's okay, Chris, it's I got a self destructive. I
got a self destructive. I gotta want I hit him
activating the destruction feature.
Speaker 1: Why if I so over a turn on? Why wait?
You just playing music? You just take him out of
his misery, the royalty free music. It's the time. It's
the time.
Speaker 6: It's the countdown. As soon as it hits christiundo, he's
gonna explode.
Speaker 1: Chris.
Speaker 4: All right, God, he didn't do it.
Speaker 6: It's still it's not the wrong button.
Speaker 1: No, now I'll hit the self destruct button.
Speaker 3: Vibrator again.
Speaker 1: He's just vibrating. He's just vibrating. Okay, do something. I'm
just gonna they're beating me.
Speaker 3: The Royalty Free Country.
Speaker 2: No, I'm just going to close the laptop. It's just
missing an action.
Speaker 1: K I A, Chris, k I A. He's he's done.
Speaker 3: He's a brave, brave robot. Sende me demon Cyberman.
Speaker 4: Gone too soon, gone to We only just really just.
Speaker 1: Got him back.
Speaker 2: I know, Chris, I'm gonna need you to, uh. I
need you to write a letter to Jill gil Chaos
about her husband coming back to life and then dying.
Speaker 4: Huh what both?
Speaker 1: She needs to know.
Speaker 2: She needs to know that her husband came back to life,
that we brought him back to life.
Speaker 4: And then killed him again.
Speaker 1: Then we need to send another letter that he died.
Speaker 4: Could we just not send any letters and then she
wouldn't have to have the misery come.
Speaker 1: Back at all?
Speaker 4: No, go about her life.
Speaker 1: She deserves to know. She deserves to know.
Speaker 4: Not just one letter. You want two separate letters. You
want to get her hopes up.
Speaker 3: I mean we need to roll out the information in
the order in which it happens. And I don't think
you gotta just write a letter saying he's alive, right,
letter saying he's dead.
Speaker 2: It's that's okay, Chris. Make sure that you include the
fact that this was your plan that he dies under
those orders.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it's an important detail. You can't leave that out.
She deserves to know, Chris, she deserves to know.
Speaker 4: Fine, all right, thank you? Well, well I do that. Uh,
everyone else, please write a review for this podcast, telling
everyone how great it is in honor of Doug Gug.
Speaker 1: That's right, in honor of Doug Gug.
Speaker 2: Give us five stars or however many maximum stars you
can give this podcast on Apple or whatever.
Speaker 1: Uh, an honor of Doug Gug.
Speaker 6: Doug, Doug, Doug Gug, Doug Doug, Doug, Doug Doggug.
Speaker 3: All right, Hell Clayton, Hey guys, thanks for listening to
That was another episode of Good Morning from Hell. And
I want us to think our special guest, Jeremy Dooley,
a good friend of our show. Jeremy thinks for being
on again. Man, thanks for having me on again. It's
always fun to be Doug Gug.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 4: We were talking with Jeremy, like, ah, should you want
to be a different character or whatever, and we're like,
Douggug is such a fun.
Speaker 1: Character, Dog Doug. So, Jeremy, what are you? What are
you working on these days? And where can the people
find you is people.
Speaker 3: Can always find me making videos over an Achievement Hunter
live streaming.
Speaker 1: With Achievement Hunter.
Speaker 5: Social media, you can always see me Jeremy and Dooley
on Twitter is where you can normally follow me. I
also do live streams and have a band called fifteen
fifty one, so you can pick up the album stuff
like that.
Speaker 1: Oh that is news to me. I did not know that.
That's great. Yeah, yeah yeah, Oh a lot to check
that out.
Speaker 4: Huh So, thank you everyone, and thank you Jeremie.
Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks for having me.
Speaker 6: Guys.
Speaker 1: By