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Speaker 1: Good morning from Hell.

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Speaker 2: It's you good friend Clayton here with Chris as usual. Sorry,

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I got a spit in the back of my mouth.

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I say a class Chris. Hello, Chris, Hello Chris.

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Speaker 3: Hi.

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Speaker 4: I thought you had just decided to change my name

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to Clariss.

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Speaker 2: I'm considering it. Sounds like you have a hell hound

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in the background there.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, the hell hounds are acting up. You know,

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it's that time of year.

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Speaker 1: What time of year would that be?

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Speaker 4: Well, I guess the hell hounds are always trying to

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eat people and yeah that's year round though, that's just normal,

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it's just Hell.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Oh, they're really they're really hungry. Does that specific hell

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hound need to be let out.

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Speaker 1: To my chance?

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Speaker 4: Hold up one second? Okay, yeah, so I'm Chloss maybe now,

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and I died recently. My eternal punishment is to do

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this podcast where we interview everyone in Hell and uh yeah, Clayton,

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you've already introduced yourself, but for those unfamiliar, he's the

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Secretary of War Hell and also the younger brother of Satan.

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Speaker 1: That's right, big bro yep? Yeah cool. Well, how's your

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week been going.

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Speaker 4: It's been it's been Yeah, it's been a week. You know,

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time happens differently in Hell. So one week, one month,

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one year, I don't know. I do want to remind, though,

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people to check us out on social media at at

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morning from Hell. We have Twitter, we have Instagram, we

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have Facebook, we even have TikTok.

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Speaker 2: Neither of us touch the TikTok. In fact, I'm pretty

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sure I lost the pass.

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Speaker 1: No no, no, no, no no.

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Speaker 4: Uh. There have been videos been posted to TikTok. So

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if you're not following us on TikTok, you're missing out.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, go check all of this.

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Speaker 4: I mean apparently Clayton is as well, because he didn't

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even know it was a thing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, totally missing out. I'll let's go check them out later.

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Speaker 2: Perfectly executed segue, by the way, I mean, just stuck

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the landing, nailed it, seamless.

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Speaker 4: Thank you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: So who are we interviewing this week?

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Speaker 2: Well, Chris, as you mentioned, I am the Secretary of

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War down here in Hell, and as you know, we

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are at war with Heaven. That shouldn't be a surprise

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to anybody. But things have really amped up. Things have

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escalated here in the last several months. Things are getting serious.

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So I'm here to say, we've got a surprise attack coming.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna go up there, We're gonna we're gonna catch

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them off guard. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, by nature of a surprise attack, is it a

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good idea to announce it on a podcast that's live.

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Speaker 2: What I meant to say is we may have a

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surprise attack. Who knows they should probably keep their guards up,

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down or down, preferably down.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just hey, this is all this is all strategy, Chris, Chris, listen,

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this is all just strategy.

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Speaker 1: It's all part of my master plan.

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Speaker 4: There may or may not be an attack that may

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or may not ever happen, and it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, who knows, I know, but they don't.

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Speaker 4: So okay, So what do I may or may not

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need to know about this attack?

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Speaker 2: Well, Chris, we have the secret ultimate ultra weapon.

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Speaker 3: Huh.

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Speaker 2: I've been developing it the second I landed in office

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I became Secretary of War.

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Speaker 1: I immediately went to our top.

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Speaker 2: Laboratory guys, scientists, dudes in lab coats, nerds, whatever you

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want to call them, huh, and I said, we need

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to get to work on this, this master plan of mine.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Is it some sort of like warp that could suck

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Heaven down to Hell or something.

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Speaker 1: No, it is not a warp to suck off Heaven.

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It's not.

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Speaker 4: Is it the Antichrist or something like that. I don't know.

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That's that's too basic.

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Speaker 2: But they've telegraphed that in the Bible, so like they

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see that coming. But that's Nope, it's not it.

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Speaker 1: That's not it.

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Speaker 4: Gotta think bigger, Chris, bigger? Can you like harness the

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fires of the underworld it into some sort of weapon

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that then shoots directly up into Heaven.

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Speaker 1: No, what do I look like? J? J.

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Speaker 3: Abrams recycling ideas from thirty forty fifty years ago.

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Speaker 1: No, this isn't Star Wars, Chris, it's not a death start.

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Speaker 4: Okay, well then what is it?

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Speaker 1: No, it's even bigger what you give up? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Well, if you'll remember a while ago, when we first

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started this show, we brought on a master military tactician.

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Speaker 1: His name was Doug poll Chaos. No, dougug Chaos.

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Speaker 4: Oh dougg kaos.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And unfortunately we attempted a coup against Satan and

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it failed to clarify, this is not the same coup

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as the one that happened in the US capital.

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Speaker 1: Those idiots.

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Speaker 2: They got it all wrong and they're gonna be being

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hell for sure. But uh, yeah we did this. What

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a year ago, Chris.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it was actually the second episode of this podcast,

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so a lot of time listeners might remember.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Anyways, Doug Gug died.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, usually really sad, but uh, we're bringing him back

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to life.

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Speaker 1: What he's better than ever.

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Speaker 2: He's stronger, faster, more powerful than he was before. Please

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welcome Doug dug Gug Chaos. Come on in, Doug Gug

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is back.

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Speaker 4: Oh man, guys, wow, God, Okay, I'm just gonna describe

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to listeners what I'm seeing.

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Speaker 1: Oh please, all right, Yeah, take a lot, take it in, Chris.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so it's a demon, a big half of us.

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What was a strong dealer? You just got big muscles,

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but some of them are robot parts.

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Speaker 1: You nailed it, okay.

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Speaker 3: See yeah, listen, I've always been a strong guy except

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for my tiny little centipede legs.

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Speaker 1: That was a whole thing. It's been dealt with.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Clayton here, the mastermind, the mastermind. After that coup

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went ahead, put me back together. It made me a

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cyber demon. Clayton, first off, can't thank.

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Speaker 1: You enough for it. Of course it looks great. Yes,

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get a great job, thank you.

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Speaker 3: Second off, Chris, I gotta say, what the hell with

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the coup?

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Speaker 1: All right?

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Speaker 3: I ran in there headstrong. I didn't see a look

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at you. I don't know where you went during that

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whole thing.

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Speaker 4: I was bringing up the rear, bringing up the rear.

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Speaker 3: You know, you must have been in the far damn rear.

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I didn't see a thing out there. All that's always

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the barrel of the hell gun. And the next thing

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I know, I'm sleeping six well, no, I guess not

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six feet underground of fur underground?

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Speaker 1: Down are we sixty six feet?

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Speaker 3: Six feet underground? And then the lights turned on? Huh,

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And I'm back a cyber demon. Let me tell you

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something about being a cyber demon though, because you know,

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there's not a lot of us. I know, there's video

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games out there, you get your dooms, things like that.

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You might have heard about a cyber demon. They really

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glorify it. It's not all it's cracked up to me.

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There's some good parts, but some of the attachments they

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give me are questionable. Yeah, which ones?

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Speaker 1: What do you what do you mean? I thought I

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thought you were a perfect the perfect machine.

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Speaker 3: You know, he gave me the cybernetic guy, right, I

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got a cybernetic guy in there.

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Speaker 1: Looks cool, it looks great, great to have, you.

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Speaker 3: Know, bonus targeting everything like that. But you know how

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maybe in the comic books and stuff like that, if

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people had cybernetic guys, they could see through clothes. You know,

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you could kind of get a little riskay with that.

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Ye yeah, yeah, my eye ads closed to people. Oh,

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everyone's wearing another layer when I look at them, which

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it kind of it throws some things out of whack.

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Speaker 1: You think you see the weak spot on.

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Speaker 3: Somebody, and then all of a sudden they're in a

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parka and yeah, you can't really tell what's going.

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Speaker 1: On, and that has its issues. That's weird.

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Speaker 4: What is what was the design tension for that?

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Speaker 1: I really don't know.

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Speaker 2: I think we were we were supposed to do the opposite,

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and then we might have just crossed some wires.

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Speaker 1: I get get a computer.

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Speaker 2: We can boot you up your operating system, give you

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a quick cool patch, you know, fix you up right

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as new, you know what.

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Speaker 3: I haven't updated in a while, and uh, you know,

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Windows keeps popping up in here and trying to get

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me to do it, so it's probably about time. Yeah,

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you're still operating off XP oh boy, oh yeah, that's

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the that's the one I got out of the Vista.

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Speaker 1: Thank god. Yeah, you're just gonna have to grab that

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USB cables. It just slides on out right.

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Speaker 4: Where's it right there?

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Speaker 2: Just grab his you gotta grab his dongle there, Chris

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is USB dongle?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, come on, hey, just a second, I'm gonna

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get down there, Chris, all right, all right, all right,

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we're gonna plug it in this USB.

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Speaker 4: Do I have to do? I need to tug on

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it to give it because it's not doesn't reachols. Okay,

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so just pull, just tug, Yeah, just tug. Okay, get hurt?

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Speaker 1: Does that?

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Speaker 4: This?

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Speaker 1: Give it the old Doug gun tug they call it?

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Speaker 5: There?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that didn't hurt. Oh no, it feels great actually. Okay,

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now take this card plugging it plug plugged in. Yeah,

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all right, no the other way.

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Speaker 4: Chris, come on, come on, sorry, sorry, sorry I always.

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Speaker 1: Get this wrong. Amateurs. All right, I mean Satan's okay, all.

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Speaker 2: Right, booting you up here we go type in a

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couple of lines of code there.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so what am I wearing right now?

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Speaker 3: Uh, okay, so I you know I've seen I've seen

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the show before. I was the cyber I am now,

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and I know that normally you got your tattered rags on.

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Speaker 1: I love it. It's good. Look. It works for him, Clayton. Uh,

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don't give him anything else.

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Speaker 3: But you know, right now, I'm seeing a three piece

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suit on this guy, and uh, it's it's disgusting. It's disgusting.

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If you could just type in a little something else there, type.

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Speaker 1: That in a couple of ons coding there you go

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and enter how about that? What wo wow?

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Speaker 3: Fishnet tank top? Hey, you know what, not a bad

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look for you. It's not a bad like we're getting

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less clothing. I like it seems like we're closer to

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the original design here.

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Speaker 1: Still got some cargo shorts on there.

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Speaker 4: And then, uh, I don't know if that helps in combat,

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just to cargo shorts and fish nets.

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Speaker 3: This isn't about combat right now. I want clothes gone. Okay, okay,

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keep keep pushing it a little further there, claim Okay,

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gonna change this.

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Speaker 2: Move a couple of lines, okay, and then I'm gonna

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up that power there and.

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Speaker 6: Wola, oh whoa, whoa, Oh my god, oh whoa oh.

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Speaker 3: I didn't even know I could shoelacers from that eye. Clayton,

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there you go, new upgrade, good.

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Speaker 1: Good as new.

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Speaker 3: Hey, and you know what, you fix the other thing too.

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I shot a naked man right there as far as

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I can tell. Love it, good stuff, all right. Oh man,

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don't worry. It will caught a rise right on impact.

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You'll be fine. Thanks that up, Graham'm glad you fixed

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that for me. There's a couple more things we gotta

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talk about here, though, Clayton.

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Speaker 2: Well, I mean, you got the tank treads, you know,

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instead of the centipede legs the milliped legs, you got

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sick tank legs.

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Speaker 1: And it's great.

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Speaker 3: I can crush people just by running them over all right,

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by walking.

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Speaker 1: I'm killing people. I never could do that before. I

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love it.

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Speaker 3: But we got to talk about the the installation in

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my right ribs here, the compartment there. I understand that

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maybe you were just trying to help out with, you know,

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just everyday activities, and uh so I appreciate the Canafa

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breeze that will come out and uh and sprits at

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a moment's notice.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's more. It's more of the.

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Speaker 3: Fact that I need to buy the refills. You think

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it would kind of come with a few more, and

255
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they're expensive. They stuck up, you know, I mean that's

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how that's how.

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Speaker 1: They get you.

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Speaker 2: You know, you buy the one main dispenser thing and

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then all the refills are just expensive as ship.

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Speaker 1: But that's you know, right right right now.

261
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Speaker 3: And Target they never have brimstone and they never have

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that on sale.

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Speaker 1: That goes off the shelf. What is it? Now? Is

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it lavender? What do you go? Let me see? What?

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What sent do I got in here? Right now?

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Speaker 4: Chris?

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Speaker 3: Why don't you check it out? Get really close there,

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see what he's got? Care it will go off right now?

269
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What does it smell like, Chris? What do you got

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against spice?

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Speaker 2: It's yeah, like February. Oh god, that's not a season.

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I'm so sorry, Doug, Doug, Doug.

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Speaker 1: Where do they all go when the season's out? Down here?

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That's another thing for you people.

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Speaker 4: I don't think that's good for combat or just you know.

276
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Speaker 1: No, it's not.

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Speaker 3: What is good for combat though, is outfitted right here

278
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on my left fore arm. This was brilliant, By the way.

279
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This is the most high powered vacuum on the market.

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And again you might think you might think, oh, is

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that just for cleaning. Wrong, it's for heaven. You can

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suck up those clouds. Where are they standing when their

283
00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:34,840
platforms are gone? Brilliant They've been looking forward to getting

284
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up there and sucking clouds for years. Now you're gonna

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pull the ground right from below them, the rug up

286
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from beneath their feet.

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Speaker 1: Wait, don't they have wings? Oh?

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Speaker 3: Okay, all right, all right, all right's gonna shoot plot

289
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holes in every single one of the plans here.

290
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Speaker 1: But you know it's another the one who's sucking the

291
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plot holes.

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Speaker 3: I can't tell if they have wings anymore. That counts

293
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as clothing to me. They're just naked and floating around.

294
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Now again, you know, I kind of wish I was

295
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outfitted a bit more like these doom cyber demons. I

296
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don't really have the BFG and stuff like that.

297
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Speaker 4: I got a glock, got a clock.

298
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Speaker 1: I got a glock. It's not built into me, but

299
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I got one that's just a weapon.

300
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Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, but again I got the targeting eye, so

301
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oh yeah, yeah, yeah, Now it's like.

302
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Speaker 1: An extension of me.

303
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Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, you know, I understand.

304
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Speaker 1: Hey, tank treads don't even remind you of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

305
00:12:23,399 --> 00:12:26,679
Speaker 3: Listen, every day it's like the opening of a terminator movie.

306
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Speaker 2: He's just rolling over skulls left and right. You know,

307
00:12:29,639 --> 00:12:31,759
it's so cool to watch. I mean, in fairness, we

308
00:12:31,799 --> 00:12:32,879
don't really have cobblestone.

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Speaker 3: It is mostly skulls, and pretty often I do have

310
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to pay for the damages and the repairs, so but

311
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you know, I'm just paying taxes.

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Speaker 1: You know.

313
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Speaker 2: It's so like you got the glock, but does your

314
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:47,480
other hands make it difficult to load, because I mean,

315
00:12:47,519 --> 00:12:50,039
we have an attachment on that hand and I can't

316
00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:51,799
imagine that it's it's really I mean, how are you

317
00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:53,399
adjusting with your new prosthetic limb?

318
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:57,519
Speaker 1: I admit the right arm. Yeah, reloading with that pretty difficult.

319
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Speaker 3: I know that the conversations are out there about Swiss

320
00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:03,240
army knife on there. We couldn't get buy in from Switzerland,

321
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:06,159
so we got a Polish army knife. It's honestly just

322
00:13:06,279 --> 00:13:09,200
several different sizes of sausages. I don't know why they

323
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,360
think they need that to flip out on a moment's notice.

324
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Speaker 4: And sizes of sausages yeah, yeah, yea, yeah, yeah.

325
00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:15,720
Speaker 1: There's there's the extra long one.

326
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Speaker 3: We've got like the the frankfurter in the middle there,

327
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that's my middle finger.

328
00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:22,320
Speaker 1: Hey, you know, people really know when you're pissed off.

329
00:13:22,399 --> 00:13:25,759
Speaker 4: Yeah, but like, what's the utility of just having sausages?

330
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Speaker 1: They don't eat meat in heaven, I don't know. You

331
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know this.

332
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:30,039
Speaker 3: So it's really gonna throw a lot of them for

333
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,600
a loop once we're up there, because the fact is

334
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,480
people keep keep not realizing it, and I don't know how.

335
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:39,320
I mean, we got peda up there talking about it

336
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:41,840
all the time. There are souls in these animals. I mean,

337
00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:44,440
they they all got them. And then if you're eating meat,

338
00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:47,120
you know, I'm taking it up there. Ye ugug.

339
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,320
Speaker 2: The thing you failed to realize is that's that's a

340
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:52,840
sausage launcher, so you could shoot sausages into their mouths.

341
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:55,039
Speaker 1: I mean, just catch them totally off guard. Oh my wait,

342
00:13:55,159 --> 00:13:57,480
could you not tried that yet? I haven't tried that yet. Chris,

343
00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:59,840
open up. Yeah, I'm hungry. Give hit me up, hit

344
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me Chris, keut the other side of the room. There

345
00:14:01,279 --> 00:14:02,960
you go, there you go, No step back, one more

346
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:05,639
step back? That perfect? All right, I'm gonna give you

347
00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:08,480
the pinky. It's it's a vienna coming at you. Three

348
00:14:08,799 --> 00:14:15,360
two one fire. Oh my god, she shut the clock hand.

349
00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:18,159
Speaker 3: That's the glock. I don't even remember picking that up,

350
00:14:18,159 --> 00:14:22,039
if I'm honest. Oh shoot this, shoot this, shoot, this

351
00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:24,840
is the vienna. Maybe it'll plug the wound. Yeah, hang on,

352
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:29,159
vienna incoming. Oh my god, it's just as powerful as

353
00:14:29,159 --> 00:14:36,120
the glock. I've that more souer bullet, but thoughtless. Wow,

354
00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:38,399
that vienna could rip through concrete if I tried.

355
00:14:38,679 --> 00:14:40,600
Speaker 1: Come on, Chris, come on back in your seat. Come on,

356
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:42,759
there you go, you'll you'll hand up here in a second.

357
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:46,480
There you go, Pat on the back. You're good to go.

358
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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's the problem with it's always get better.

359
00:14:49,879 --> 00:14:53,480
Speaker 3: Hey, hey, flavor wise though, I'm about that sausage.

360
00:14:53,639 --> 00:14:56,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was really good as it was going through

361
00:14:56,039 --> 00:14:56,720
my brain.

362
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Speaker 1: You're damn right.

363
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Speaker 4: It was. It's like I could almost.

364
00:14:59,000 --> 00:14:59,559
Speaker 1: Think it now.

365
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:01,919
Speaker 4: It was so good to power the bullet, not as much.

366
00:15:02,039 --> 00:15:03,639
Speaker 3: Bullets don't have a lot of flavor. I mean, you

367
00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:06,159
learn to like him. It's a classic children cereal down

368
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,399
here in Hell. I gotta ask you, Clayton, by the way,

369
00:15:08,679 --> 00:15:11,639
I don't know if you've talked to your brother since

370
00:15:11,679 --> 00:15:14,000
the coup. You know, and we've been going back and

371
00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:16,360
forth of this attack heaven thing. I feel like we

372
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:19,240
kind of might need a you know, blessing or anything here.

373
00:15:19,279 --> 00:15:21,559
Speaker 1: Has he said anything about me? Am?

374
00:15:21,559 --> 00:15:23,960
Speaker 3: I still in trouble for the whole coup thing.

375
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,120
Speaker 2: You know, I wanted to wait until you were live

376
00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:28,799
on air to reveal this, but you got a full

377
00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:30,080
Satanic pardon.

378
00:15:30,399 --> 00:15:34,320
Speaker 1: You're free to go. Buddoo. Oh yeah, he just shot

379
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,559
a sausage through the roof.

380
00:15:36,639 --> 00:15:39,480
Speaker 3: That was a big one. It's a kilbosa right up

381
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:43,679
through there. My god, congratulations. Let me shake your sausage hand.

382
00:15:43,799 --> 00:15:45,399
Speaker 1: Wow. Oh yeah, come, he's strong.

383
00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:47,639
Speaker 4: Look those meaty, meaty fingers.

384
00:15:47,679 --> 00:15:50,279
Speaker 3: Great grip, careful of the casing. Then I'll slide off

385
00:15:50,279 --> 00:15:53,039
in a moment's notice. As you know, Satan just he's

386
00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:57,080
taking a sabbatical and President Cambo, who may he rain

387
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,879
forever and ever am in whatever he's.

388
00:15:59,679 --> 00:16:00,320
Speaker 1: In charge now.

389
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:01,919
Speaker 2: But that was like one of the things he's doing

390
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,559
before he left office. He's you just passing out, you know,

391
00:16:04,679 --> 00:16:05,879
pardons here and left and right.

392
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:07,519
Speaker 3: Oh, I got it. I have so much to catch

393
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:08,080
up on with.

394
00:16:08,399 --> 00:16:08,519
Speaker 4: Oh.

395
00:16:08,559 --> 00:16:12,639
Speaker 1: I love Gambo. I haven't talked to Gambo and so yeah.

396
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:14,559
Speaker 4: Wait, so have you not been able to leave? Have

397
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,000
you just been in the lab this whole time?

398
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:16,440
Speaker 2: Yeah?

399
00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:17,679
Speaker 1: I came right from the lab to here.

400
00:16:18,279 --> 00:16:21,360
Speaker 3: I really haven't done much other than well, sprits for

401
00:16:21,399 --> 00:16:22,679
breeze around and shoot you.

402
00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:25,759
Speaker 1: And rollover tons and tons of skulls and skulls, which

403
00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:26,720
again at to Babor.

404
00:16:26,799 --> 00:16:28,080
Speaker 4: Didn't you have a wife?

405
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:29,000
Speaker 1: Yeah I did.

406
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:29,639
Speaker 4: Yeah.

407
00:16:29,759 --> 00:16:32,240
Speaker 1: Oh man, she must be worried, sick. Yeah, poor Jill,

408
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:32,840
Poor Jill.

409
00:16:32,879 --> 00:16:34,919
Speaker 4: I don't think she's worried. I think she just assumes

410
00:16:34,919 --> 00:16:35,879
you're dead still.

411
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think she's like, is he still dead?

412
00:16:38,399 --> 00:16:40,200
He is gonna be surprised.

413
00:16:40,279 --> 00:16:42,000
Speaker 2: So tell you what I mean, that'll be the next

414
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,679
thing that we do after this is we'll have to

415
00:16:43,679 --> 00:16:46,559
go go get Jill and let her know who's back.

416
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:50,200
Speaker 3: Oh man, old Jill Gil Chaos. Oh my gosh, she's

417
00:16:50,279 --> 00:16:51,639
gonna be ecstatic to see me.

418
00:16:51,799 --> 00:16:52,840
Speaker 1: Oh for sure. Yeah.

419
00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:55,159
Speaker 2: That was a really hard letter to write when you

420
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,440
passed away. I mean, I felt so bad and I

421
00:16:57,519 --> 00:16:59,480
didn't want to say anything, but I programmed you with

422
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:03,240
some uh you know, extra features for in the the

423
00:17:03,279 --> 00:17:04,039
Private Times.

424
00:17:04,319 --> 00:17:05,640
Speaker 1: Doug, Doug, Doug, Oh.

425
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,519
Speaker 3: Yeah, you give me some upgrade here. I mean, should

426
00:17:09,519 --> 00:17:11,519
we say him on the air or not. I mean,

427
00:17:11,559 --> 00:17:13,960
that's that's your that's your business man. I mean, if

428
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,240
you want to share, I'll go for it.

429
00:17:15,279 --> 00:17:17,400
Speaker 1: You know what I want the world to know. All right, Well,

430
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:20,759
let me boot him up. Lucy. You got a vibrating feature.

431
00:17:20,799 --> 00:17:22,240
We're gonna access that. Turn that on.

432
00:17:22,519 --> 00:17:27,079
Speaker 3: Okay, Oh go ahead. I didn't expect to be the

433
00:17:27,119 --> 00:17:29,359
whole body. I'll be honest with you, but no, yeah,

434
00:17:29,359 --> 00:17:30,160
all right, we'll turn that.

435
00:17:30,079 --> 00:17:30,720
Speaker 1: On to good feed.

436
00:17:30,839 --> 00:17:33,960
Speaker 2: Go oh gosh, okay, let me see what else? Uh

437
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:37,160
your your sausage fingers. Look at this. This one's got

438
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:40,480
a vibrating feature. It's a little little toy, if you will.

439
00:17:40,519 --> 00:17:43,160
Speaker 1: All right, let me see that one. Go it is?

440
00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:48,119
Oh yeah, it's really it's really good. Near went narrow

441
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:49,519
went was gone, Yeah, it was gone.

442
00:17:49,559 --> 00:17:50,720
Speaker 4: That was that came out fast.

443
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:52,200
Speaker 1: I might need to tweak that. I don't want to

444
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:56,079
hurt Jill Gill reloading? Yeah, what's the.

445
00:17:56,079 --> 00:17:57,519
Speaker 4: Refractory period on that thing?

446
00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,359
Speaker 3: As fast as I can get a sausage on that

447
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:00,000
old knuckle?

448
00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:02,680
Speaker 1: Doug, Doug, guggy, you reloaded your ready.

449
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:06,039
Speaker 3: To go, popped it back on? I can already smell it. Right,

450
00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:06,920
here we go.

451
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:13,200
Speaker 4: What is the plan for the h maybe surprise attack

452
00:18:13,279 --> 00:18:13,799
on Heaven?

453
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:14,519
Speaker 1: Maybe?

454
00:18:14,759 --> 00:18:16,799
Speaker 3: I think you made inevitable, that's right. And this has

455
00:18:16,799 --> 00:18:18,759
been a long time coming. There's been a lot of

456
00:18:18,799 --> 00:18:21,519
strategy put in this, and now I'm here all right,

457
00:18:21,799 --> 00:18:24,519
Clayton's greatest weapon. That's right, it's stepping up to do.

458
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:28,039
So let's go over let's go over the ideas here. Well, Chris,

459
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:30,880
I mean I have so many strategies. But I mean,

460
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:34,039
if we're talking about the master plan, well, let's let's like,

461
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,799
let's flip roles. What do you think I think the

462
00:18:36,839 --> 00:18:37,319
plan is?

463
00:18:38,119 --> 00:18:42,519
Speaker 1: Huh? I mean what do you think they're expecting? Right? Right?

464
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:48,000
Speaker 4: They probably some sort of uh diversionary attack in one

465
00:18:48,079 --> 00:18:52,079
place in Heaven. Well, in reality, your main forces are

466
00:18:52,079 --> 00:18:56,640
all attacking elsewhere, and you send out, you know, different

467
00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:00,200
misleading information different places so that they spread up out

468
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:03,880
their forces have a better idea. Huh.

469
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,240
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, the joke's on you. We were already gonna

470
00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:06,480
do that.

471
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:09,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, come up with something an original, Chris, Yeah, Chris.

472
00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:11,799
Speaker 4: Sorry, what what is what is your plan?

473
00:19:12,039 --> 00:19:16,079
Speaker 2: Well, now I switch you to you, Doug, Doug ug

474
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:17,960
what do you think the plan is?

475
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:21,000
Speaker 3: Uh? Okay, listen, so we got the vacuum, right, we

476
00:19:21,079 --> 00:19:23,759
got the vacuum on our side. Okay, so they can't

477
00:19:23,799 --> 00:19:26,599
see it damn thing from up there, especially you know

478
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,440
what the weather the way it is right now, Listen,

479
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:31,400
the ground gets gray, starts raining down. They can't see

480
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:33,359
what's happening down below them. They don't care about what

481
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:34,400
people on Earth are doing.

482
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,279
Speaker 4: It's not like they're paying attention clearly.

483
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:38,200
Speaker 1: Yeah.

484
00:19:38,319 --> 00:19:41,200
Speaker 3: Right, did you see the entire year of twenty twenty. Yeah,

485
00:19:41,599 --> 00:19:42,960
no one out there is looking down.

486
00:19:43,039 --> 00:19:43,200
Speaker 1: Yeah.

487
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:46,200
Speaker 2: Their prayer antenna is just shot. I mean it's they're

488
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,200
not answering prayers. They didn't even change the bat. I

489
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:49,599
got a hot dog right through that thing.

490
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:54,920
Speaker 3: So I'm going I'm going to be below them with

491
00:19:55,039 --> 00:19:57,960
my vacuum cleaner. Right, they're ready to go, all right,

492
00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:01,319
turn that baby on. Start sucking the ground out from

493
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:04,519
underneath them. Angels are dropping out, don't worry about the wings.

494
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:06,839
A few hot dog holes and those wings aren't getting

495
00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:09,960
them anywhere. Oh, I got a glock d you remember that?

496
00:20:10,039 --> 00:20:13,319
Oh yeah, looking for Chrisky. I mean, I'm just telling you,

497
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:16,359
I'm I'm gonna cap some angels. That's just that's just

498
00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:19,319
the reality of the situation. Listen, you take out their platforms.

499
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:22,119
They ain't jumping, they ain't gliding, and they don't want

500
00:20:22,119 --> 00:20:23,920
to be seen by the people. Those clouds are gone.

501
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:25,640
People can look right up and see those angels.

502
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:28,680
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, you take the clouds out, look right out

503
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:29,200
them skirts.

504
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:30,519
Speaker 1: They probably don't have underwear on.

505
00:20:30,599 --> 00:20:32,720
Speaker 3: Nope, right, absolutely, and definitely not to me, not after

506
00:20:32,759 --> 00:20:33,480
I've been upgraded.

507
00:20:33,519 --> 00:20:35,359
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I mean.

508
00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:37,359
Speaker 3: Like in the original upgrade they look like they were

509
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:38,960
about to head into a winter storm.

510
00:20:39,039 --> 00:20:42,480
Speaker 1: Now it's just bare ass and balls when I look up. Yeah, okay,

511
00:20:42,559 --> 00:20:43,759
it's quite decidedive behold.

512
00:20:43,799 --> 00:20:48,799
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, so you're gonna embarrass them and then.

513
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:52,279
Speaker 3: And then and then then and then what oh uh uh?

514
00:20:52,559 --> 00:20:55,920
Speaker 1: And then and then and.

515
00:20:55,880 --> 00:21:00,680
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah yeah yeah, what's the next Clayton, what's next?

516
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:06,359
Speaker 1: I mean, what do you think is next? Chris? See

517
00:21:06,359 --> 00:21:08,720
what someone like you would think would be the next play?

518
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:13,039
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I guess at that point they're distracted,

519
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:18,359
so you'd have the opportunity to launch a full on assault. Right,

520
00:21:18,759 --> 00:21:23,519
let's just go on full end guns, sausages, blaring, glo,

521
00:21:23,839 --> 00:21:28,440
blaring or blazing you know, blazing like this like a saddle,

522
00:21:28,519 --> 00:21:30,720
unless you could you make do you have a noise thing?

523
00:21:31,279 --> 00:21:32,279
Speaker 1: Let me see what I got here?

524
00:21:32,319 --> 00:21:34,400
Speaker 2: Like a sound system. Yeah, we put a couple of

525
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:37,319
Bluetooth speakers on them. Oh yeah, to sink them all up.

526
00:21:37,319 --> 00:21:39,680
Speaker 4: You could blare something hang on.

527
00:21:41,039 --> 00:21:44,200
Speaker 3: Right on the old ass cheeks there, speakers, got some

528
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:45,400
subwifers pairing.

529
00:21:45,519 --> 00:21:49,319
Speaker 1: Okay, there it goes. Yeah, there it is.

530
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:55,480
Speaker 3: It's last little music here. Yeah, royalty free. I'm sure

531
00:21:55,519 --> 00:21:55,839
that is.

532
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,960
Speaker 1: That's right. What else would we use?

533
00:21:59,720 --> 00:21:59,880
Speaker 4: Right?

534
00:22:00,519 --> 00:22:03,200
Speaker 3: Listen, we might be in hell, but we don't want

535
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:05,240
to get sued. I don't want to get our assets suit,

536
00:22:05,319 --> 00:22:06,559
especially because line's a speaker.

537
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:11,359
Speaker 1: Yeah no, definitely not. Well guess what you both were, right?

538
00:22:11,519 --> 00:22:13,160
That was that was my plan all along.

539
00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:18,359
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, yeah, that was alike, great, great strategy. So

540
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,839
I mean with that being said, all right, Doug, hey,

541
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:23,400
salute there you go.

542
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:24,160
Speaker 1: All right?

543
00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:27,000
Speaker 4: Uh, you're just sitting them now right now?

544
00:22:27,079 --> 00:22:29,200
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I mean they'll never see it coming. They're

545
00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:32,240
expecting this whole force of troops. But we're gonna have

546
00:22:32,279 --> 00:22:35,480
Doug gug go up there, Doug, Doug gug our ultimate weapon.

547
00:22:35,519 --> 00:22:37,920
He's gonna go, you know, pro their defenses, find their

548
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:39,039
weak points, and he's gonna.

549
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:42,839
Speaker 1: Just shoot sausages and mess them up. So you'll look.

550
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:48,839
Speaker 3: Doug Doug Doug right U okay, all right and attacked, right, okay,

551
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:51,319
all right, Joe Gill, listen for you to go step

552
00:22:51,359 --> 00:22:52,440
over to that rocket there.

553
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:54,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, let me just pop it in the rocket here.

554
00:22:55,319 --> 00:22:56,160
We've got you.

555
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:58,599
Speaker 2: Your eyeball is also connected to this computer, so we

556
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:00,880
can watch a live feet of the attack.

557
00:23:01,039 --> 00:23:02,799
Speaker 1: So you know we've got eyes on.

558
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:06,079
Speaker 3: Good luck, sir, alright, I'm going in wish me luck,

559
00:23:06,079 --> 00:23:07,640
all right, stay melty alright.

560
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,279
Speaker 4: But we didn't do any of the diversionary stuff.

561
00:23:10,279 --> 00:23:13,079
Speaker 1: That's fine, he doesn't need it. He's Doug Doug Doug Chaos.

562
00:23:13,079 --> 00:23:15,400
He's the best we've got, Chris. I'm saluting him. I'm

563
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:18,240
saluting the screen right now, powering up right.

564
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:21,200
Speaker 3: I see those clouds, shucked clouds.

565
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:24,400
Speaker 1: Oh he's turning on his vacuum. Oh it's all right,

566
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:28,720
it's working great. Yeah. Wow, man, are you working the coffee?

567
00:23:29,759 --> 00:23:30,400
Speaker 4: He's that light?

568
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:41,440
Speaker 6: Oh no, oh no really, oh my oh no, Doug

569
00:23:41,519 --> 00:23:42,920
Dug Doug Chaos is down.

570
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:47,839
Speaker 1: Oh wait, hold up, it's it's it's flickering. He's he's

571
00:23:47,839 --> 00:23:48,319
still there.

572
00:23:48,799 --> 00:23:52,440
Speaker 5: He Chris, you gonna hear me?

573
00:23:53,079 --> 00:23:59,160
Speaker 3: You guys here your couch scared. I wasn't. Oh my god,

574
00:23:59,519 --> 00:24:02,119
I've ripped off his sausage, shooting hands, and there they're

575
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:02,759
beating him.

576
00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:05,880
Speaker 1: With the sausages, his own sausages. Sausage.

577
00:24:06,279 --> 00:24:09,400
Speaker 6: The taste horrible when they're from the enemy and they're

578
00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:10,039
all naked.

579
00:24:11,079 --> 00:24:13,359
Speaker 1: It's a bunch of naked angels beating me.

580
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:15,920
Speaker 4: Get him out of there.

581
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:19,680
Speaker 6: It's okay, Chris, it's I got a self destructive. I

582
00:24:19,759 --> 00:24:22,799
got a self destructive. I gotta want I hit him

583
00:24:22,799 --> 00:24:24,240
activating the destruction feature.

584
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:27,599
Speaker 1: Why if I so over a turn on? Why wait?

585
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:29,759
You just playing music? You just take him out of

586
00:24:29,759 --> 00:24:33,079
his misery, the royalty free music. It's the time. It's

587
00:24:33,079 --> 00:24:33,440
the time.

588
00:24:33,519 --> 00:24:37,039
Speaker 6: It's the countdown. As soon as it hits christiundo, he's

589
00:24:37,039 --> 00:24:37,759
gonna explode.

590
00:24:37,839 --> 00:24:38,200
Speaker 1: Chris.

591
00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:42,519
Speaker 4: All right, God, he didn't do it.

592
00:24:42,519 --> 00:24:45,599
Speaker 6: It's still it's not the wrong button.

593
00:24:46,759 --> 00:24:48,759
Speaker 1: No, now I'll hit the self destruct button.

594
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:50,319
Speaker 3: Vibrator again.

595
00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:57,319
Speaker 1: He's just vibrating. He's just vibrating. Okay, do something. I'm

596
00:24:57,319 --> 00:24:58,440
just gonna they're beating me.

597
00:24:58,559 --> 00:24:59,839
Speaker 3: The Royalty Free Country.

598
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:05,920
Speaker 2: No, I'm just going to close the laptop. It's just

599
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:07,200
missing an action.

600
00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:10,200
Speaker 1: K I A, Chris, k I A. He's he's done.

601
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:15,240
Speaker 3: He's a brave, brave robot. Sende me demon Cyberman.

602
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:17,640
Speaker 4: Gone too soon, gone to We only just really just.

603
00:25:17,599 --> 00:25:18,119
Speaker 1: Got him back.

604
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:21,319
Speaker 2: I know, Chris, I'm gonna need you to, uh. I

605
00:25:21,519 --> 00:25:23,640
need you to write a letter to Jill gil Chaos

606
00:25:23,759 --> 00:25:27,079
about her husband coming back to life and then dying.

607
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:29,240
Speaker 4: Huh what both?

608
00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:30,039
Speaker 1: She needs to know.

609
00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:32,079
Speaker 2: She needs to know that her husband came back to life,

610
00:25:32,079 --> 00:25:33,319
that we brought him back to life.

611
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:34,359
Speaker 4: And then killed him again.

612
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:36,000
Speaker 1: Then we need to send another letter that he died.

613
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:37,759
Speaker 4: Could we just not send any letters and then she

614
00:25:37,759 --> 00:25:39,599
wouldn't have to have the misery come.

615
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:39,960
Speaker 1: Back at all?

616
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:41,720
Speaker 4: No, go about her life.

617
00:25:42,279 --> 00:25:44,079
Speaker 1: She deserves to know. She deserves to know.

618
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,799
Speaker 4: Not just one letter. You want two separate letters. You

619
00:25:46,839 --> 00:25:47,559
want to get her hopes up.

620
00:25:47,759 --> 00:25:49,559
Speaker 3: I mean we need to roll out the information in

621
00:25:49,599 --> 00:25:51,680
the order in which it happens. And I don't think

622
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:55,279
you gotta just write a letter saying he's alive, right,

623
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:56,319
letter saying he's dead.

624
00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:59,400
Speaker 2: It's that's okay, Chris. Make sure that you include the

625
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:02,200
fact that this was your plan that he dies under

626
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:02,839
those orders.

627
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:05,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it's an important detail. You can't leave that out.

628
00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:07,640
She deserves to know, Chris, she deserves to know.

629
00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:12,079
Speaker 4: Fine, all right, thank you? Well, well I do that. Uh,

630
00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:15,440
everyone else, please write a review for this podcast, telling

631
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,319
everyone how great it is in honor of Doug Gug.

632
00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:19,759
Speaker 1: That's right, in honor of Doug Gug.

633
00:26:19,759 --> 00:26:22,880
Speaker 2: Give us five stars or however many maximum stars you

634
00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:25,079
can give this podcast on Apple or whatever.

635
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:27,319
Speaker 1: Uh, an honor of Doug Gug.

636
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:30,400
Speaker 6: Doug, Doug, Doug Gug, Doug Doug, Doug, Doug Doggug.

637
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:40,160
Speaker 3: All right, Hell Clayton, Hey guys, thanks for listening to

638
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:41,759
That was another episode of Good Morning from Hell. And

639
00:26:41,799 --> 00:26:44,559
I want us to think our special guest, Jeremy Dooley,

640
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:46,599
a good friend of our show. Jeremy thinks for being

641
00:26:46,599 --> 00:26:48,319
on again. Man, thanks for having me on again. It's

642
00:26:48,319 --> 00:26:49,359
always fun to be Doug Gug.

643
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:50,000
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.

644
00:26:50,039 --> 00:26:52,559
Speaker 4: We were talking with Jeremy, like, ah, should you want

645
00:26:52,559 --> 00:26:54,799
to be a different character or whatever, and we're like,

646
00:26:55,079 --> 00:26:56,440
Douggug is such a fun.

647
00:26:56,279 --> 00:27:01,079
Speaker 1: Character, Dog Doug. So, Jeremy, what are you? What are

648
00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:03,279
you working on these days? And where can the people

649
00:27:03,319 --> 00:27:04,480
find you is people.

650
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:07,200
Speaker 3: Can always find me making videos over an Achievement Hunter

651
00:27:08,079 --> 00:27:08,680
live streaming.

652
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:09,680
Speaker 1: With Achievement Hunter.

653
00:27:10,319 --> 00:27:12,960
Speaker 5: Social media, you can always see me Jeremy and Dooley

654
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:16,759
on Twitter is where you can normally follow me. I

655
00:27:16,799 --> 00:27:19,359
also do live streams and have a band called fifteen

656
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:21,640
fifty one, so you can pick up the album stuff

657
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:21,920
like that.

658
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:24,440
Speaker 1: Oh that is news to me. I did not know that.

659
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:26,440
That's great. Yeah, yeah yeah, Oh a lot to check

660
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:26,720
that out.

661
00:27:26,759 --> 00:27:29,559
Speaker 4: Huh So, thank you everyone, and thank you Jeremie.

662
00:27:29,599 --> 00:27:30,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks for having me.

663
00:27:30,319 --> 00:27:30,599
Speaker 6: Guys.

664
00:27:30,599 --> 00:27:31,400
Speaker 1: By