Speaker 1: What's going on? Thank you so much for listening to
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smartphone or tablet, and again, thank you so much for
your support. I want to thank Matt Harris from our
sister station, Mixed one oh seven nine. He sent me
a piece that was over at Substack by an English writer.
Like she's English, not that she I mean, yes, she
writes in English too, but she is from England, okay,
and her name is Freya India. And she wrote a
piece and I'll give you the headline here, and I'm curious,
think about what the headline is first, and then I'm
gonna explain her rationale behind it and see if you agree.
So here's the headline. Nobody has a personality anymore except
Pete Calener. No, I'm kidding. I added that last part.
Nobody has a personality anymore. Okay. I think it's a
little sweeping. It's a bit of a generalization, okay, but
the truth is general. But what she's talking about is
the over therapization if that's a word. If it's not,
I just made it, okay, trademark, that's mine. The over
therapization of predominantly Western society, predominantly among younger people. And
here's her explanation. It's a very lengthy piece. I'm gonna
give you the highlights of it here. Therapy speak is
what she calls it. Therapy speak has taken over our language.
And when I read that, well, let me give you
the next two sentences. She says, it is ruining how
we talk about romance and relationships, narrowing how we think
about hurt and suffering, and now we are losing the
words for who we are. Nobody has a personality anymore.
I blame the Bachelor series, Okay, against my will I have.
That's not even true. But I have seen many episodes,
too many I would. I'm embarrassed to say how many
it would be. I have not counted them, but it's
too many. I can say that, but I'm not going
to stop, mainly because my wife watches them, and so
it's the end of the night, I've finished whatever I'm
working on the show prep or whatever I'm doing, and
then it's like, okay, I'll sit down and watch some
TV with her, And oh my gosh, why do we
have to watch this? I say, But deep down I
know it's junk food, and because I don't eat junk
food anymore, this is my guilty pleasure. And now she's
watching because there was there's like all of these different
permutations of the show. Right, They've got the Golden Bachelor.
Now that's the one that she's got on and and
so I see, you know, I see these episodes, and
I don't, like, I vaguely remember some of some of
the people, because it's like a whole world of Bachelor
Bachelorette people that are on the shows and then they
get voted off or they get they don't get their roses,
and then they go they do their podcasts and like
they're all in group chats and they do you know,
celebrity events or I guess Reality stars events or or
or Bachelor event. I don't know. So they obviously have
outside of the show interactions and once you're in what
do they call it Bachelor Nation or something like that,
And so I say all of that. There are all
these different permutations of the show I have seen, whether
it's the Bachelor, the Bachelorette, the Golden Bachelor, the Golden Bachelorette,
those are the old people. Then you've got Bachelor's or yeah,
Bachelor in Paradise where they take like a bunch of
the old contestants that didn't get picked and they put
them on a beach for like two weeks and then
they like swap people out, swap them in, and there's
all these machinations going on. Anyway, I'm too far down
this rabbit hole. My only point in all of that,
I felt like I had to justify my watching it.
But the only reason I bring all of that up
is because I noticed a while back. But it's getting worse.
They all say the same things. There's a language that
they're speaking as citizens of Bachelor Nation. They use the
same types of words all the time. Thank you for
sharing that. Oh that must be very difficult. Oh I'm
sorry you experience that trauma. I want to be you know,
have open communication. Right, They're they're they're using this these
therapy words constantly, and it would drive me nuts if
I was talking to somebody like that, if I'm going
out on a day with somebody and first off, Christy
would kill me, but secondly like I wouldn't even know
what you're saying to me. Back to this piece by
Freya India, she says, in a therapeutic culture, every personality
trait becomes a problem to be solved. Anything too human,
every habit, every eccentricity, every feeling too strong. It has
to be labeled and explained. And this inevitability, this inevitably
expands over time, encompassing more and more of us, until
nobody is normal. Some say young people are making their
disorders their whole personality. No, it's worse than that. Now
they are being taught that their normal personality is the disorder.
According to a twenty twenty four survey, seventy two percent
of gen Z girls said that quote, mental health challenges
are an important part of my identity. Yikes, mental health
challenges are an important part of your identity? Do you
even know who you are? Twenty seven percent of boomer
men said the same thing. She says, this is part
of a deeper instinct in modern life. I think to
explain everything, or try to explain everything, psychologically, scientifically, evolutionarily,
everything about us is caused, categorized, and can be corrected.
We talk in theories, frameworks, system structures, drives, motivations, mechanisms,
but in exchange for explanation, we have lost mystery, romance
and lately ourselves. I'm reminded there was a poem I
read a long time ago. I don't remember what it said.
I don't remember the title of it, but it was
something on the order of like, curse you science, something
like that, I hate you science, science, you stink whatever.
It was an older poem, so they obviously didn't use
this language, but the theme of the poem was that,
you know, science has come along and robbed us of
all of these fantasies, these these stories that you know,
the ancients had created to explain the world around them,
and some of those, you know, taught us things about
the human condition, the stories about you know, the stars
in the sky and what are and oh there's you know,
here's the you know, the different signs up in the
sky that you know, Oh there's the Taurus and the
you know, here's the hunter and that means this the
zodiac signs, all that stuff, and science by explaining things,
it robs the beauty and the mystery and the fantasy.
And I think that's what she's saying here. She says,
we've lost the sentimental ways we used to use to
describe people. Now you are always late to things because
you're not lovably forgetful. Okay, to be fair, anybody who's
late to stuff all the time is not lovable in
any way. I would just say, no, I'm kidding. I know. Look,
I have a philosophy on this. There are only two
kinds of people in life, those who are chronically late
and those who are chronically early and the people and no,
you're never on time. You're always early. If you're on time,
that means you're early. Okay, you're in the early camp.
And the early camp people, which I am in. We
are usually pretty hacked off at the late camp people,
which is why you have to tell them to be
someplace a half hour before the actual reservation. Right. Anyway,
she's saying, it's not that you're lovably forgetful. It's not
because you're scatterbrained and interesting and secretly loved for never
arriving on time. Again, that can't happen. But no, no,
it's because you have ADHD. You are shy and you
stare at your feet when people talk to you. Not
because you are your mother's child, Not because you're gentle
and sweet and blushed the same way she did. No, no, now,
it's autism. You're the way you are, not because you
have a soul, but because of your symptoms and diagnoses.
You are not an amalgam of your ancestors or curious
constellation of traits, but the clinical result of a timeline
of childhood events. Every heartfelt, annoying, interesting, piece of you
is categorized. The fond ways your family describe you, they
get medicalized. The pieces of us, once written into wedding vals,
read out in eulogies, remembered with a smile, now live
on doctor's notes and mental health assessments and betterhelp applications.
We are not people anymore. We have been products for
a long time, and these are our labels. What do
you think? Is she right? You know? Stories are powerful.
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dot com. The piece that I'm reading from is written
by Freya India and that's spelled Frya or maybe it's Freya.
I don't know. India is spelled in the traditional way.
She's a writer from England and the title of the
piece is called Nobody Has a Personality Anymore and she's
talking about the therapy speak that we now are incorporating
more and more into our daily language, and it is
warping the way we see each other and think about ourselves.
And let me read a couple of texts from the
WBT text line driven by Liberty Buick GMC. It's easy
to use mental health issues as a crutch for bad behavior,
but bad behavior is still bad behavior. That's from Bob
Gwynn says, sounds like a great article. What was the
author in title and source? Which I just gave you?
So there you go. You're welcome stance, as if you've
been taught that all you are is a massive cells
in essence, another brick in the wall. It's easy to
see your normal self as the problem, but if you
believe you're something wonderfully designed by God individually for a
specific person, you'll see your normal self as beautiful and
no one can convince you otherwise. I like it, Stan,
she writes. We can't talk about character either, like there
are no generous people anymore. People pleasers? Right, Oh, they're
a people pleaser, anxiously attached, codependent, traumatized, insecure, overachievers, neurotically ambitious.
She goes on and on like undiagnosed, adhd emotionally stunted,
all of these different phrases. Right, there are no feelings
at all anymore, only dysregulated nervous systems. Every human experience
we have as evidence of something, and the purpose of
our lives is to piece it all perfectly together. Like
if I could just if I could just identify and
therapize myself, I can correct this thing. I could be
a different person, I can be perfect. Right, this search
for perfection through the diagnoses of the things that make
us unique. It's just personality. Which, by the way, she
doesn't write about any of this in the piece, but
there is if I'm going to do like a Kamala
Harris inspired ven diagram here, there is some overlap with
the transgender issue, right that when you have a kid,
a little girl who wants to wear jeans and clime trees,
we used to just call, oh, she's a tomboy, not
that she's not a girl, right, but now we've got
to medicalize that, We got to therapize that. She says,
I asked my grandparents. Later in this piece, she says,
I asked my grandparents, who have been married for six decades,
why they chose each other and I got a clumsy answer.
She says, they never really thought about it. They disliked
each other. She says, maybe I'm too nostalgic about the past,
but there's something there that has been lost that in
that moment, I struggled to relate to a simpler way
of living and an arrogance to us now seeing people
in the past is somehow incomplete and unsolved when we
are this anxious and confused as we are now. I
think this is why my generation gets stuck on things
like relationships and parenthood. The commitments that we stumble over,
the decisions that we endlessly debate, the traditions we find
hard to hold on to, and often the ones we
can't easily explain. We're trying to explain the inexplicable. It's
hard to defend romantic love against staying single because it
isn't safe or controllable or particularly rational. Same with having children.
Put these things into a pro con list and they
stop making logical sense. They cannot be calculated or codified.
Ask older generations why'd you start a family? And often
they didn't even really think it through. Ask older generations,
you know why they picked their mate, like, oh, I
just I fell in love with her, And maybe that
isn't as crazy as we've been led to believe. Maybe
that isn't so reckless. Maybe there is something human to them.
She goes on to say later in the piece that
the world is becoming more complicated. We want control and certainty.
We take comfort in finding out the cause of something,
of all things. And yeah, there are people that are
helped by diagnoses, no doubt about it. They can't function
and find relief in being understood. But she suspects it's
fewer than we think that. Actually, not everybody really needs
to go through this deep dive therapization. Many more, she said,
have been convinced that the point of life is to
classify and explain everything. And here's the deal. It's making
everyone miserable. It's making everyone miserable, and I suspect it's
because it's directing your gaze inward. You're microanalyzing yourself. This
is narcissists by the lake looking at his own reflection
in the water, falling in love with himself. Right, it's
this self centered, this turning inward and focusing every single
thing on yourself, She said, I find it strange that
we think this is freeing, this brutal knowing, this search
for the meaning of everything and the explanation for everything,
that this self surveillance is the liberated way to live,
that we are somehow less repressed being boxed in by
medical labels. I would add to this that once you
define what it is that you think is wrong with you,
right in using these bachelorette kind of words from the
show Bachelor Bachelorette Bachelor Nation words, when you start overanalyzing
and therapizing all of this stuff, that once you define
these things, then like you have to overcome it, because
this is what's wrong with you, right Oh, this trauma,
this is what happened to me. And then of course
you got the victimization mentality, the tendency for interpersonal victimhood,
and then you try to you're going to have to
overcome it or you're going to be it forever. And
that means there's never an opportunity for you to reinvent yourself.
And this ties into the tech component of it as well.
I grew up Long Island, New York, I moved eight
hundred miles away, and I got to reinvent myself and
it just so happened that there was very little that
I needed to No, I'm kidding, no, but I got
to grow. I got to be a different person. I
wasn't around anybody that knew anything about me, right, That's
how I was able to con so many wealthy people
out of their money. They thought I was a prince,
but I wasn't. But this is now lost because you
don't get to move someplace else and escape your digital
footprint right your Instagram photos, your Facebook reels, and your
tweets and stuff. There's no reinvention. To me. I think
that's sad because you have to be able to reinvent yourself.
And now that's a lot harder. It's a lot harder.
She says. This is the cause of so much misery.
We taught a generation that the meaning of life is
not found outside in the world, but inside their own heads.
Because here's the thing. We can't ever explain everything. It's
an impossibility. At some point, we have to stop analyzing
and seeing through things and accept the unknowable. All we
can ever really achieve is faith some humor at ourselves.
Too be able to laugh at your it's impossible to
heal from being human and this is why the mental
health industry has infinite demand. Explain anything long enough and
you will find a pathology. Dig deep enough and you
will disappear. We keep being told that the bravest thing
now is to do the work. But I think it
takes courage not to explain everything, to release control, to
resist that impulse to turn inwards, and the wisdom too
to accept that we will never understand ourselves through anything
other than how we act, how we live, and how
we treat other people. And I think she's exactly right.
I think she is exactly right on that you will
understand yourself and how you behave, how you live your life,
and how you treat other people. We're thinking about ourselves enough,
I would say too much. All right, If you're listening
to this show, you know I try to keep up
with all sorts of current events, and I know you
do too, And you've probably heard me say get your
news from multiple sources. Why Well, because it's how you
detect media bias, which is why I've been so impressed
with ground News. It's an app and it's a website,
and it combines news from around the world in one place,
so you can compare coverage and verify information. You can
check it out at check dot ground, dot news slash Pete.
I put the link in the podcast description too. I
started using ground News a few months ago and more
recently chose to work with them as an affiliate because
it lets me see clearly how stories get covered and
by whom. The blind spot feature shows you which stories
get ignored by the left and the right. See for
yourself check dot ground, dot news slash Pete. Subscribe through
that link and you'll get fifteen percent off any subscription.
I use the Vantage plan to get unlimited access to
every feature. Your subscription then not only helps my podcast,
but it also supports ground News as they make the
media landscape more transparent. Let me get to some messages here,
Melissa writes in It's a Pete tweet. She says, I
believe society took aim at boys decades ago in the
framework of the fraya in Freya India article you're reading.
Christina Hoff Summers addressed this with her book The War
Against Boys back in two thousand. I remember that book.
Rather than letting boys be boys, they were to be
labeled as hyperactive and tamed with medication. It's a valuable
tool for the mothers of boys who just want to
raise good men. And Carolina Bulldog tweets home run Pete,
who was that again? I must have it headline nobody
has a personality Anymore? Written by Freya India fr e
y a Freya or Freya India and it's over on substack.
But I'm sure if you type in the Google machine
nobody has a person Anymore, it'll probably pop up. I
post all of the show links over at thepetpod dot
com and they're free, so you can go and see them,
and I'll have it linked up there after the show,
as I always do, although I do have to go
to the store on the way home, so it'll probably
be like four o'clock or so. But anyway, I always
post my show prep over there, but I do it
after the programs. This way, you can't read ahead, okay,
I don't want you reading everything ahead, and then you're like,
I have to listen to Pete now because I already
read all of his links. Also, I have a whole
stack of stuff that I never get to, so I
don't post it up there, and then people are like, oh,
Pete didn't get to twenty articles today, so all right,
let me finish the piece here, she says. She concludes
the piece by saying, be brave enough to be normal.
Leave yourself unsolved. Who knows? It's a mystery written in
the stars from somewhere unknown. Holding onto your personality is
a declaration that you are human. You're a person, not
a product. No other explanation is needed from the text line.
This is a fantastic article to share, Pete. Thank you.
I wish more would share articles like that. Well, I
got it from Matt Harris. Credit where it's due. He
works down the hall at our sister station, and he
sent me this link the other day saying, hey, I
thought you might be interested in this content, and I am.
I was. He knows me so well. I've known him
for twenty five years, so he knows me very well.
That was from Deborah Kim, says Pete. So many comments.
I am going to go find her article. Oh my
aching elbow. She is spot on. Thank you for sharing this.
I don't know what the elbow, I guess from typing,
John says Pete. Outstanding segment. I was a psychology major
at University of Maryland back in the early nineties. What
I am seeing today in the mental health field, and
what my teenage children are going through, and what I
see our society going through is an incredible misalignment. Your segment,
I would say this article nailed it on the head.
Thank you for spreading the word. Well, I'm happy to
do with John. Is it true that everybody who goes
into the psychology major coursework? Is it true that they're
all crazy? They're trying to fix themselves? First, That's what
I heard. Sorry, suffering from mental health issues, not crazy.
Can't use that word anymore. That's what I just remember
hearing that at some point from buddy of mine, who
is a psych maic. That's what he said. So, if
you know, blame blame the psych majors, because that's what
he told me. Hashtag not all psych majors obviously. Look,
I've always been sort of fascinated in this, in this stuff.
You know, why do people? Because this is why I
ended up being drawn more to the philosophy coursework. In college.
I had a so I've said this before, I've I
had a major in mass communication broadcast and hopefully like
that shows, but the minor that I had was in
political science but I had also taken enough coursework for
a minor in philosophy, but my university did not grant
double minors, and I am still bitter. Okay, That's why
I keep mentioning it, you know, thirty years later, is
because I had enough for the philosophy minor. I was
always drawn to the question of why you hear it?
When I do interviews with people, I always I try
to figure out the why. And that's why like psychology
as it stands over sort of on this other plane,
if you will, from philosophy, where philosophy examines, you know,
theories and it looks, you know, asks the question of why,
what does it mean? And that sort of stuff, But
the psychology says, you know, why did you think that way? Well,
let's find the answer, right, and here's the answer, and
you construct a vocabulary around that and then you can
pinpoint the thing. This is why you're thinking the way
you're thinking. This is why you behaved badly, this is
the why. Like they're seeking the explanation for the why.
But it's all turned inward, right, Whereas I think philosophy
is more outward looking, and I think that's why I'm
kind of interested in some of these psychology related topics,
but they didn't capture my attention like philosophy did because
I look more outward. Does that make sense? I feel
like I'm a little I feel like I'm looking too
much inward right now? I do? I feel like I'm
talking too much about myself. That's the middle child syndrome
for you. What can I say? Oh my gosh, I
just therapized myself. There you go. See that. See how
difficult it is to break out of this? Ah John replied,
It is true that people get into the psych majors
because they're crazy and they want to try to fix
themselves first. It is true. All right, So now I've
gotten this from multiple sources, so now it's true. Okay,
that's why he says. I'm in technology in the banking industry.
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and make memories that'll last a lifetime. Brett Winterbow from
three to six here on WBT weekdays. As always, he
joins us on Friday for the final segment of the program,
for a little segment we call pregaming.
Speaker 2: Welcome Brett, it's great to be here.
Speaker 1: We usually also follow it up. I appear on his
show for the first segment on Fridays for a little
segment he likes to call the hangover. Yes sir, but today,
yes sir, there will be no hangover. I will not
be hanging over. So today we're just pregaming with no hangover.
Speaker 2: And it's my fault.
Speaker 1: But that's okay, pregaming with no hangover. Like, isn't that
the dream? It is the dream.
Speaker 2: So but you know what, can I just say one thing.
Speaker 3: I'll make a deal with you next next Friday, I'll
do two segments with you to make it up.
Speaker 1: Well, no, I would have to do two segments with you,
because every time I'm not on your show or you're
not on mine for pregame or the hangover. We there
are problems. Staticky they're no, not staticky. We got that
all over the place today. No, we get we get abused.
I mentioned this last week, which was it was our
return after a brief hiatus, because we had the temerity
to go on vacation we did, and then you did
some station event out on the scene someplace. So anyway,
we went like three or four straight weeks with no pregame,
no no hangover, and so like it was sort of
like a it was like a dry July, right, So
so anyway, but yeah, we started getting abused by your
friend John, John John John Stewart. Yes, he was very
angry at the lack of like he was writing tersely
worded attorney like letters or okay texts on the text
line driven by liberty buick GMC that that like, how
dare you rob us of these segments? We demand more
segments now in compensation, like very legallyes kind of stuff.
Speaker 3: You know what we're gonna do from now one.
Speaker 1: So I just want to point out for John if
he's listening, and he probably is always, John, you created
this monster because you're the one that introduced Brett to
Michael Wattley, and Michael Wattley is going to be on
with Brett, yes at three o'clock thereby bumping me. So
you don't get a hangover today, John, because of your
own actions. Wow, there you go.
Speaker 2: That's my ru I feel bad, I feel badly Is
it bad?
Speaker 1: Or badly. I think it's badly. So I got a
question for you. Yes, have you heard this story that
more singles are getting romantic with AI bots in DC
than in most big cities. It's according to match data.
Not surprised robot Bay's you know Bay? You like that term? Bay?
I hate it? Just another example of how Washington's loneliness
crisis is playing out.
Speaker 2: Why not just go to the park?
Speaker 1: Which one? Any of them? Not Rock Creek. The nationwide
Singles in America study surveyed over five thousand people ages
eighteen to ninety eight. Single DC men and gen zers
were more likely to have flirted with a bot.
Speaker 2: No, come on, that's the end of That's the end
of it all.
Speaker 1: So here's the thing.
Speaker 2: So bad.
Speaker 1: It is bad, no doubt about it. But I did
have a thought, because you know me, I try to
find yes, I try to find the positive in things.
This is what people always say about me. You're a
giver that too, So I thought, Okay, is there another
explanation for why this would be the case other than
the obvious that you just articulated? And I immediately felt
the same when I read it too. However, there's another
potential what if they're practicing.
Speaker 2: No, you don't know that.
Speaker 1: Maybe they are practicing.
Speaker 2: Maybe they're like like a putting will.
Speaker 1: This yes, like maybe this is maybe these pickup lines
will work. I don't even know. Do the kids use them?
Speaker 2: They don't. They don't even use the just they don't
even they put no effort in.
Speaker 1: Hey, hey, they don't even do that.
Speaker 2: They stare.
Speaker 1: It's the whole stare, the gen Z stare, right, Yeah,
because we asked about you, asked Isaac, who is the
the official representative of the gen Z generation on staff,
and uh, and he said, it doesn't mean anything, right,
They just it's like a short circuit. It does, it
just stops.
Speaker 2: It Isn't that all? It's just so sad.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just terrible. What have we done to them?
Speaker 3: We didn't do anything. We were not enough involved with them.
We should have forced.
Speaker 1: That's a classic gen X response. Man, And I'm gen X.
I can say this, of course, but like there's a
lot of gen z s like they were raised by
their parents or exers, but they're not.
Speaker 2: They're not.
Speaker 3: That group of gen xers are not as cool as
the current the prior crop of gen X.
Speaker 1: Now you're bifurcating. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because like once you
hit like nineteen eighty, that still counts born in eighties.
Speaker 2: Seventy nine eighty. Like, that's a different, that's a different.
Speaker 1: I call those tweeners tweakers. Tweeners. Oh, tweeners rhymes with
Anthony Weener, right, tweener. So you're it's like you're he
was dating those You're like, right, you're on the cusp.
You can also call them cuspers if you if you prefer,
that is so great, right. So it's like people who
are there like right at the edge of either like
where the generations, you know, blend together. Because it's not
a hard line. It's not like January one. Okay, now
everybody's different.
Speaker 3: Okay, but hold on a second. The dating, the robot
thing or whatever.
Speaker 1: That is, it's just flirting. They say, once upon a time,
flirted with a bot once upon a time.
Speaker 3: And I knew nobody in my circle that did this.
People would get on those phone call numbers and would
uh oh yeah, have really body conversations.
Speaker 1: Were they the nine nine nine numbers or whatever those things?
Speaker 3: I don't I don't even know because I was so
I was so popular and hanging out with people.
Speaker 2: I didn't need to even know what the number was.
Speaker 1: You never saw any of those I remember seeing like
the business card for one of them on a sidewalk city.
Speaker 3: I just knew that they existed.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, they were like nine nine nine that
it was whatever it was.
Speaker 2: I don't know, but you know, you got to put
the work in.
Speaker 1: But maybe they maybe people called those lines to learn
how to talk dirty. Really, you know what?
Speaker 2: Okay, how about if I how about if I if
I cut the baby in half?
Speaker 1: Can I do that?
Speaker 2: Okay, here we go, votainer.
Speaker 1: It's on the wall. The rule must use votaining.
Speaker 2: Votainer.
Speaker 1: Votainer.
Speaker 3: Those kids could be using that artificial device as a
date tainer.
Speaker 1: I like it. If that gets hold before votainer does, though,
I'm going to be angry. All right. That'll do it
for this episode. Thank you so much for listening. I
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